life Archives - Page 2 of 3 - The Goalden Lady

What To Do When Life Sucks

We all have these elaborate ideas of how we want life to turn out. There are goals that we’re after and dreams that we want to fulfill.

What happens when things don’t go our way? Is it a sign to stop? Should we ignore it and keep going? Or, do we cut our losses and move on to something easier?

Everyone has a different response to life. Every challenge is unique, but there are two main things you can do to remain stable and see it through.

2 Things To Do When Life Sucks

Believe in yourself. It sounds corny, but it’s true. People say it so much that it has lost it’s true meaning. When things don’t go your way, instead of letting it happen, think about how to respond in a positive manner. Know that you can handle it, because you’ve handled things before. This may be a little different, but you have to fix your mind to believe that you can overcome it. The first thing we normally do is get down on ourselves and our ability to face it. Change your perspective and have the confidence to know that you will be fine and do your best. The only thing that’s stopping you is the negative story you tell yourself in your mind.
Take responsibility. Whatever happened may have not been your fault, but take responsibility for how you respond. Things happen all the time, but how you respond is key. Some people let things happen and they end up somewhere they don’t want to be. Take control and guide the situation in a favorable direction. At the very least, attempt to make things better. Do your part by figuring it out and taking the appropriate action. If it doesn’t work, be responsible and do something else. Giving up won’t help at all, but if you hold yourself accountable, the results could work towards the improvement of your situation.

The Outcome

If you do these two things, you’ll be putting yourself at an advantage. While it may not be fair, life will suck at some point and the best thing you can do is respond to it in a way that will benefit you.

That’s not to say that things will turn out exactly the way you want them to, but it’s definitely better to drive the situation than to let it drive you. If you let it drive you, there’s no telling where you’ll end up. Then, you’ll wish you exerted more effort and energy into controlling the outcome.

Be Mentally Strong

Above all, don’t let it get you down. It’s so easy to let the pieces fall where they may, but it doesn’t have to be like that. Know that you have the choice to make things better in your life.

Sometimes, we forget that we even have a choice. We’re so used to our circumstances that we become complacent and fall into a non-productive routine, where we just let things happen. Your effort still counts, even if you have made numerous attempts.

You have the power to change your position. When life happens, believe that you can handle it and take responsibility for how you respond. Step in and be a part of driving the solution, as opposed to giving in to the issue. Knowing how to manage life when it sucks, can make all the difference.

#BeGoalden

3 Things That Stop You Before You Get Started

What’s stopping you from becoming the magnificent person you want to be? There are 3 things that stop you before you get started and today, you’ll get past those challenges to get on the right track!

When you look in the mirror, there’s no one else there but you. You are responsible for your life and what you tolerate. Own your life – the good things, the bad things, the mistakes – take control of it all.

What’s Stopping You?

Other people. This is the most common culprit. We allow other people’s thoughts and opinions to direct our lives. If we do something that someone doesn’t like, we let it affect us. If someone else is having a bad day, we let it bleed over into our lives. Learn to separate your life from someone else’s. Your life is your own – don’t be so quick to hand it over to someone else. Have sympathy for others, but live your own life.
Excuses. Stop giving yourself an out. Giving yourself an excuse to feel better gets you no where. The entire point is to improve yourself and to become great. You deny every chance of your growth when you give excuses. Life may happen, but there’s still an opportunity to work around it. You can still choose to wake up earlier or stay up later – eat clean or eat junk food – save a few dollars or spend all you have. It all comes down to choosing an excuse or choosing that extra push.
Your inner voice. It’s not too late. You’re not too old. Just because it didn’t happen when you were 12, doesn’t mean it can’t happen when you’re 52. Don’t kill your own dreams. Anything can happen at any time. The negative chatter in your mind was put there by someone else, but you have to let it go. It only holds you back from your limitless potential. Every time you hear that negative inner voice, chase it with a positive answer.

Let’s Get It Started

Commit to yourself and your future. No one can stop you unless you allow them to stop you. Get out of your own way and make progress.

Anything can happen, but you must decide to start and take action, one step at a time. Don’t get used to turning down what you really want to do, just to satisfy someone else.

Distractions will pull your attention away from you plan. Do what it takes in order for you to be productive and move forward. Your focus will ultimately drive you towards your desired goal, so concentrate on what’s important and do your best to get it done.

The Final Outcome

Own your life without feeling guilty. It’s okay to say ‘no’ to others, so you can get started working on yourself. In the end, you are the only one accountable for your results – it’s in your hands.

Give yourself permission to start. Stop thinking that other people are right when it comes to your goals. Protect your mindset and step into your confidence. Success is earned by those who have the courage to start and focus on their plan.

#BeGoalden

Let Me Tell You How Great You Are!

You are one of the most awesome people in the world!

When something doesn’t work out, you learn what went wrong and make improvements.

When someone says something bad about you, you know they are just speaking on their own insecurities.

When an unexpected obstacle comes up, you handle it calmly and with confidence!

When you’re stuck in traffic, you listen to an uplifting podcast or inspirational music.

When someone is upset, you patiently take the time to listen.

When you pass someone, you give them a glowing compliment.

When you see someone who could use some help, you offer a hand.

When you’re out and about, you perform a random act of kindness.

When you see a child, you tell them how smart they are.

When you’re worn down, you take care of yourself right away (self-care).

When you feel tired, you always do one more.

When your eyes meet with a stranger’s, you give a warm smile.

When something seems difficult to do, you know you can do it!

You are considerate and you keep your promises.

You are kind to yourself, as well as others.

You don’t allow time to feel sorry for yourself.

You see the bright side of every situation.

You bet on yourself, because you believe in yourself.

You take the good with the bad and make lemonade.

Your time is valuable because you know your potential.

Most of all, you make everyone around you better!

You’re always working at becoming a better you, everyday!

#BeGoalden

Live Your Life Today

Whatever it is you want to accomplish in your life, do it. There may not be much time for you to contemplate.

Everyday is a chance to do what you want to do and make progress. Even if it is uncomfortable, the opportunity is there for the taking.

We think so far into the future, that we forget to do something today. Overthinking takes over our mental space and we end up doing nothing. Planning is essential, but starting is just as important.

If you knew what day would be your last, you would do everything you want to do, within that amount of time, especially if it was soon. That’s what makes time so precious because we don’t know how much of it we have left.

And that’s the catch – you don’t know when your last day is. Therefore, you must do your best today, as if tomorrow may not come.

So what if you mess up? So what if it didn’t turn out right? So what if only one person showed up? How many times are you going to let an outside force, stop you from reaching your goal?

The trolls, the gossip, the weird stares – none of that matters in the end. Don’t waste time thinking about that insult. Stop saying ‘yes’ to situations that allow you to float through life. Hold yourself accountable and do what you want to do. No one can live your dream the way you can because your dream is in your control.

We think so small of ourselves and give so much consideration and power to what other people think. Instead of praising others, praise yourself. Stop thinking that other people are always successful, you are successful, too! Stop thinking that good things only happen to other people, good things happen to you, too!

None of us are any better than the other – we are all human and we all have the ability to do something great. Some of us leave it up to other people to be great, but the capability is there. You just have to get up and do the work that it takes to be great.

Don’t let your time run out without making your mark. Put forth phenomenal effort daily. Regret is a painful feeling that no one should have to experience. The only way not to, is to live your life, everyday.

#BeGoalden

Suicide: Don’t Overthink Yourself To Death

This message is for anyone who has ever contemplated ending their own life.

I can imagine that there are many factors that contribute to that very thought.

Being positive can be hard. People can be mean and difficult. Things don’t always go the way we want them to go. Life can be tough. We all have days, weeks and months where nothing is ever right.

You were made to be here and spread your gift. You are not a mistake. Everyone is here for a reason and you must find yours. Don’t give in to those who try to make your life a living hell.

Don’t think you’re alone – you’re not the only one. There are millions of people on this planet that have to make the effort to live their life everyday. They have struggled with the idea of giving up. Please find your strength and make the decision to live.

Talk to someone – there is help for you. Just like anybody else, you deserve to be here. If people are trolling you online, turn off your device. If people are bothering you at school or at work, tell an adult or a superior, or change location.

The opportunities for you to reinvent yourself and simply start over are endless.

Things can change for the better, but you have to believe it and act towards the type of change you seek. Nothing positive can happen without your input. You’re the only one that can make things better. Your life is your responsibility – don’t leave it in someone else’s hands.

The possibilities in life are limitless. Taking your own life only leaves the rest of us to suffer without the wonderful things you have to offer. If your breakthrough was coming tomorrow, would you give up today?

Continue to fight for your life because the best is yet to come. There are people who care about you and actually want you to be here! It’s never worth it to end your life – you’re not finished yet. There is something amazing in all of us. Your struggle may help someone else through their hard time.

Don’t overthink yourself to death – you can get through this. There is a reason you are still here – take it one day at a time and keep living.

This message was written with love. If you need help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 or chat online at The Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

#BeGoalden

The Defensive Mind

Say Yes

Whenever an opportunity arises, the first thing you say is ‘no.’ What if you said ‘yes’ for a change? It may be a little more work or a bit of a learning curve, but what challenges you, grows you. We are not meant to stay in one position all of our lives.

Of course, having a knee-jerk reaction to questions that are dangerous is good. If someone asks if you want to go swimming with sharks, ‘no’ might not be a bad answer, unless that’s something you’ve always wanted to do.

The defensive mind is activated out of fear. Change can be scary, but again, it promotes growth. When you don’t know what to expect, fear takes over your mind. This is how fear dominates your every move.

Saying ‘no’ to everything eliminates your chances of trying new things. If you do something new, you may actually like it. You’re selling yourself short when you keep saying ‘no.’

Fear will have you going to work everyday and coming home, with no life to live in between. It will become the worst friend you’ve ever had because it doesn’t allow you to develop yourself. It’s like a jealous lover who wants to keep you all to themselves.

You don’t always have to do the same thing over and over. Find something that you’ve always wanted to do and look into it in your spare time. Expand your mind and meet new people with the same interests along the way.

Take Your Chances

The next time someone asks a question, take yourself off of autopilot and think for a second. If it won’t hurt you, take a chance and say ‘yes.’ The only thing that could happen is you don’t like it, or, it doesn’t work out. You won’t ever have to do it again.

Then again, something amazing could happen. If that’s the case, imagine how much it could help you improve and develop your skills. This could lead to many other chances and could thrust your side hustle into overdrive! But, you’ll never know until you take that chance first.

People who are set on saying ‘no’ will live to regret that they never took a chance on those missed opportunities. There’s nothing like regret. You can’t go back in life and do it over. Take your chances and know the outcome, as opposed to wondering what would have happened if you did.

Also, it takes courage to get out of a defensive mindset. When you’re used to people around you running away from opportunities, you will do the same. Think for yourself and respond how you want to respond. Just because it didn’t work out for someone else, doesn’t mean it won’t work out for you. Don’t let that negativity seep into your mindset.

This is your life, not theirs. You are in control of how and what you think. Be the leader. Be the example that shows others that it’s okay to try new things. You may be scared, but you’re putting your best foot forward and doing it anyway!

How To Get Over The Defensive Mind

Don’t look to others for confidence – that has to come from you and your mindset. They already have a pessimistic outlook on everything. When you go against the norm and do something different, you are inviting favorable circumstances to come to you.

You never know what you could be missing. When everyone else says ‘no’ and you say ‘yes,’ opportunity may be looking for you.

As you can see, it is very easy to fall into the trap of having a defensive mind. Don’t follow the crowd and do what everyone else does, because you may miss out. Even if nothing happened, you won’t have to wonder about it.

Take some time to ponder before you automatically say ‘no.’ It will help you overcome your fear of the unknown, build your courage muscle and help you grow into a better person. Your job is to use as many resources as you can, to become the best you in your life.

This means managing your mindset and overcoming fear in order to move forward. Don’t allow weak influences to stop you. You must do this for yourself, which means you have to reprogram your mind and create the new, unstoppable you.

Excerpt from: “Help! I’m Stuck: How To Manage Your Mind, Defeat Distractions and Create Confidence,” Book 2 by S.R. Roberts. Edited for length.

Be The Person You Want To Be

You want to be an entrepreneur? That’s fine, if it makes you happy.

You want to work 9 to 5? That’s fine, if it makes you happy.

There’s no set formula for success. As a matter of fact, you define success.

Success for you could be swimming from one side of the pool to the other – making money at your hobby – getting your newborn to laugh – designing the scariest Halloween costume – meditating and actually feeling the benefits – losing 20 pounds – or just being happy.

Many things can define success, but it’s your definition that counts. No one else can define it for you. We’re all different and we have our own unique paths to our achievements. We’re not here to do the same thing and arrive at the same destination. We create and design your own lives.

Just because someone is less fortunate than you doesn’t mean they aren’t happy. Just because someone is rich doesn’t mean they can’t experience severe depression. Just because someone is wealthy doesn’t mean they can’t lose it all.

Life is what you make it, good times and bad times and everything else in between. Anything can happen to anybody, but you have control over what you become.

It may take 5 months or it may take 5 years, but it’s your responsibility to get there.

One mistake that some people make is thinking that everyone has the same outlook. We box ourselves into one way of thinking. In the Age of Information, we can break out of that box and explore life on many levels.

Before, all we knew was what older people told us, so that was the path we followed. That was success. Now, we have many resources that can lead to various options. No longer do we have to ‘take this path, or you’ll be a failure.’ We have many ways we can hit our target.

Un-box yourself. There are more choices out there than what we’ve been used to. Our resources are no longer limited. We have the ability to become exactly who we want to be.

If you want to be a toy collector and that makes you happy, be that. That’s your success. Just know that becoming a doctor or a lawyer won’t bring you happiness just because it pulls in a big salary. A lot of those people are miserable.

There is no better opportunity in the history of time, than now. Take advantage of the privileges you have and create your happiness through your definition of success.

Participate In Your Life

Show up. Jump in. Fall down and get back up again.

It’s amazing the number of people who watch their life pass them by. Opportunities present themselves and they just won’t budge.

Why are you here? You get upset when someone wastes your time, but you won’t even be proactive in the life you live.

It’s your life!

You are the director and the star! You have creative control over what direction you want your movie to go in.

It’s not supposed to happen to you, you are supposed to make it happen!

Don’t let other people determine the end of your story. You can’t blame anyone but yourself if it doesn’t turn out the way you want it to.

This is all on you. Yes, it will be challenging. You will want to quit. You will see other people succeed before you. They are not your concern. That is not your movie.

Fight the negative chatter in your head. Replace it with positive affirmations. Keep moving forward. This is how you create your own outcome.

When you get a chance to do something positive, do it. That chance could turn into an opportunity to push you forward even more. Don’t get to the end of your life and wonder what would have happened if you did it. Do it so you’ll know what happens.

Make the necessary moves you need to make. Mom and Dad can only guide you so far. You must enhance your ability to grow and that only happens when you take action.

Participate in your life. It was made for you to design. Don’t hold back – do everything you wish you could do. Don’t let it pass you by.

You only get one. Make your dream come true.

Get Out of That Rut By Doing Your Part

Participating in something new can be exciting. You’re all fired up and you expect nothing but the best to happen.

In your mind, you’re thinking, “This is great! It’s going to change everything for me!”

Once you get the information and it’s time to do your part to make things happen, your excitement starts to fade. Eventually, it didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Your life is still the same.

Other people and things can only help you so much. It happens a lot, where people are expecting a ‘magic pill’ and nothing happens.

For example – you attend a real estate seminar that says you can make $10,000 in one month. The ‘guru’ shows you how it’s done.

When you go home, you look at the material.

A month has passed by and you think, “This was a scam. It didn’t even work.”

On the other hand, take a look at what happened. Did you follow through or are you disgruntled because it wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be?

If you honestly put in the effort, you can call it what you want to call it. If the only thing you did was let the material collect dust, you can’t say anything because you didn’t make a true attempt.

Don’t resort to being negative just because you didn’t do the work. Nothing is done for you. You can get help and support, but it’s still up to you to follow through on your end.

Using excuses is taking the lazy way out. Now you’re stuck in an emotional rut and everything stinks.

There is no ‘magic pill.’ There is no ‘hack.’

Your life is based upon your effort. You can only control what you do. Other people can give you suggestions and advice, but ultimately, you are the deciding factor of your success.

Life kicks everyone down. We’ve all lost money, we’ve all had a tough break, we’ve all had unexpected things happen.

It’s hard to think on the bright side of things when you’re going through it. Even when you think you’re failing, you have to do your part. Stop playing the victim and start finding your way.

Here are a few ideas to help get out of that rut:

Take 15 minutes. You can’t be mad forever, but you can be mad for 15 minutes. Get it out of your system for 15 minutes – shout, cry, throw something, whatever it is. Just do it for 15 minutes. After that, you have to get back to figuring out your next move.
Listen to that song. Everyone has that one song that makes you feel on top of the world. It gives you energy and makes you feel unstoppable.
Move. After listening to that song, it’ll make you want to move. Go for a walk, lift some weights, run – just go outside and move. When you move, you feel better.
Help somebody. Being helpful to someone can make their day. In return, it makes your day. Whether you volunteer at a homeless shelter or help someone with their groceries, you’ve made a contribution to the goodness of the world.

Even though it can feel like it, you’re not the only one going through something. Don’t get stuck in that rut, or else you’ll become that negative person that no one wants to be around.

Everyday is a chance to do better. It may not get better all at once, but it’s those little everyday fights that win the big battle over time.

How To Hack Your Life For Awesome Results!

Sorry. There is no hack. No matter what they tell you, there is no magic pill or mathematical equation that will enhance your life.

You want to make your life better? Find your own hack. The same ‘hack’ doesn’t work for everybody.

What does work is being consistent. Moving forward. Not allowing your emotions to get in the way.

In order to hack your way to a better anything, there has to be constant progress. Being ‘all in’ one day and lazy the next couple of days does not promote movement. Even if you have to break it up into small chunks everyday, that’s more consistent than making three huge splashes every month. Big progress or little progress, you are responsible for making it move.

The biggest reason it doesn’t seem to be happening is because of excuses. When you want to have that awesome life, you have to put yourself on the next level. If you’re on a ‘good’ level, then to get to the ‘awesome’ level, you have to push harder – remaining on the same level won’t get you to where you want to be.

Going to the next level may be changing your surroundings or joining a new networking group. Or, you could put in more effort and expose your work to more people. Advancing to the next level doesn’t happen all at once, but do something different once a week or once a month that you haven’t done before.

When you level up, it encourages movement, and movement encourages growth.

People often get caught up in their emotions when it comes to working through challenges and obstacles. They are there for a reason. It’s not for you to stop, it’s for you to grow. Blaming and complaining doesn’t solve or help anything.

Be like a computer. When you search for something in the computer, the computer doesn’t say, “Sorry, not today. I’m too tired to search. Ask me again tomorrow. Girl, stop.” No, the computer gives you results. No talking back or smart comments involved. It’s purpose is to help you find the solution to whatever you’re looking for.

That’s how you face those tough challenges. Try it the next time something doesn’t go your way. Put your emotions and reactions aside and focus on finding a solution.

These may sound like several small hacks, but even these suggestions may not work for everyone. There is no ‘one hack fits all’. Find your own personal hack and make it work for you.