August 2018 - The Goalden Lady

Keep Your Word

There are many things to consider in order to have a successful business. One of the most simplest things is keeping your word.

Say what you’re going to do and then, do it. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle their business. It’s the simple things that can put you over the top.

If you’re running late, call and let them know. No one likes their time wasted. If you need to reschedule, call and let them know. No one likes to wait and wonder. If you need to change a few things, call and let them know. No one likes to be surprised when they were expecting something else.

See a pattern?

Communication is key.

It’s the same thing with you. You would be furious if someone didn’t show up for their appointment. You could have been helping someone else, or better yet, making money with another client. A simple phone call would’ve been nice.

If you did work for a client and they didn’t pay you all of the money, anger would set it. The first thing you would say is, “Why didn’t you tell me you couldn’t make a full payment in the first place? We could have made other arrangements!”

Most problems in business can easily be solved by communicating. Treating others the way you want to be treated is the number one rule in life. If you are unable to keep your word, that’s a sign that you probably shouldn’t be in business.

One of the easiest ways to keep your word is to be honest and upfront. If there’s something you can’t do at the time, let your client know. It’s better for them to know now, than to find out later when the work wasn’t what they expected it to be. With social media, a bad experience can spread fast.

Another way is to keep your appointment and if possible, show up early. This shows how serious you are about your business. Sometimes, all it takes is one missed appointment for your client to leave you and move on to someone else. Be professional.

Also, to cut down on confusion, write it down. At some point, you’ll have so many clients, all of the work will start to look the same. Don’t depend on your memory – have a written back up (for yourself), just in case.

These suggestions may sound simple, but you’ll be surprised at how many people overlook the simplicity of good communication.

When you start your business or with any job, keep your word. Great communication cuts down on potential mistakes and embarrassment. Your clients will appreciate you for it and the word will spread that you are an awesome person to work with!

If You’re Going To Quit

If you’re going to quit, then quit:

procrastinating
being hard on yourself
sabotaging your goals
accepting defeat
whining
gossiping
eating junk food
being lazy
lying to yourself
feeding your mind garbage
letting things control you
settling for less
being complacent
accepting what has always been
giving up
wasting time
listening to nonsense
being dramatic
worrying
being indecisive
feeling sorry for yourself
comparing yourself to others
making excuses
getting distracted
complaining
blaming
dodging responsibilities

By all means, go ahead and quit.

Get Out of That Rut By Doing Your Part

Participating in something new can be exciting. You’re all fired up and you expect nothing but the best to happen.

In your mind, you’re thinking, “This is great! It’s going to change everything for me!”

Once you get the information and it’s time to do your part to make things happen, your excitement starts to fade. Eventually, it didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Your life is still the same.

Other people and things can only help you so much. It happens a lot, where people are expecting a ‘magic pill’ and nothing happens.

For example – you attend a real estate seminar that says you can make $10,000 in one month. The ‘guru’ shows you how it’s done.

When you go home, you look at the material.

A month has passed by and you think, “This was a scam. It didn’t even work.”

On the other hand, take a look at what happened. Did you follow through or are you disgruntled because it wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be?

If you honestly put in the effort, you can call it what you want to call it. If the only thing you did was let the material collect dust, you can’t say anything because you didn’t make a true attempt.

Don’t resort to being negative just because you didn’t do the work. Nothing is done for you. You can get help and support, but it’s still up to you to follow through on your end.

Using excuses is taking the lazy way out. Now you’re stuck in an emotional rut and everything stinks.

There is no ‘magic pill.’ There is no ‘hack.’

Your life is based upon your effort. You can only control what you do. Other people can give you suggestions and advice, but ultimately, you are the deciding factor of your success.

Life kicks everyone down. We’ve all lost money, we’ve all had a tough break, we’ve all had unexpected things happen.

It’s hard to think on the bright side of things when you’re going through it. Even when you think you’re failing, you have to do your part. Stop playing the victim and start finding your way.

Here are a few ideas to help get out of that rut:

Take 15 minutes. You can’t be mad forever, but you can be mad for 15 minutes. Get it out of your system for 15 minutes – shout, cry, throw something, whatever it is. Just do it for 15 minutes. After that, you have to get back to figuring out your next move.
Listen to that song. Everyone has that one song that makes you feel on top of the world. It gives you energy and makes you feel unstoppable.
Move. After listening to that song, it’ll make you want to move. Go for a walk, lift some weights, run – just go outside and move. When you move, you feel better.
Help somebody. Being helpful to someone can make their day. In return, it makes your day. Whether you volunteer at a homeless shelter or help someone with their groceries, you’ve made a contribution to the goodness of the world.

Even though it can feel like it, you’re not the only one going through something. Don’t get stuck in that rut, or else you’ll become that negative person that no one wants to be around.

Everyday is a chance to do better. It may not get better all at once, but it’s those little everyday fights that win the big battle over time.

Your Achievements Are Not Mistakes

Have you ever worked really hard on a goal and you actually achieved it? Maybe you got lucky this time and things worked out – or, maybe it’s not really for you, it was a mistake – or, maybe you consistently put in the time and effort and you’re FINALLY reaping the benefits.

You’re so used to seeing other people achieve success, you begin to think that it can’t happen to you. Like a hamster on the ever-spinning wheel, you do the work, but it feels like you’re going nowhere.

“Why me?” you think. Why not you? There may be some successful people who had an advantage when they started, but it doesn’t mean that you aren’t able to see your success.

When you do become successful, you may be hesitant and think that it was a mistake. Imposter syndrome kicks in and you don’t feel like it’s really yours to hold.

You’re proud of other people and you cheer them on. What about you? You can be a fan of yourself, just as much as you are a fan for others. It doesn’t make you selfish or arrogant. We are all here on this planet to help each other, but in the process, don’t forget to help yourself, too.

It’s OK to put yourself first.

Give yourself credit for what you accomplish – don’t wait for permission to be proud. IT IS YOURS! You did it, you overcame those obstacles that tried to stop you, you fell down, but got back up, it was you that kept your faith and your focus!

Don’t minimize your success. It is not a mistake. Smile, be happy for what you did. You’re quick to be happy for others when they succeed – you need to be even happier when you succeed. Don’t downplay it. You deserve it.

At the same time, comparing your journey to someone else’s doesn’t work. Everyone is on a different path and they have different ways of getting to their destination. You don’t know what they’ve been through and they don’t know what you’ve been through. Everyone’s battle is their own.

Keep your eyes on your prize. When you reach your goal, go ahead and celebrate it! This is what you’ve worked for. The sacrifices you’ve made were worth it. The vision you’ve been imagining for so long is becoming clear, right before your eyes. This is what you committed to – this is what you wanted.

Don’t devalue yourself. It’s not a mistake. Your future is what you make it, day in and day out. Claim it and prepare for your next upcoming success.

The Sky Is the Limit

Who knows where the sky ends? It keeps going on and on – it’s final destination does not exist. Therefore, it is limitless, meaning it is without limits.

Who would be crazy enough to put a limit on a beautiful creation, such as the sky?

Yet, we place limits on ourselves all the time. We even allow others to place limits on us.

The dangerous part is: we believe it and accept it as true. Then we live it.

Do you realize how much time is wasted believing in something that is absolutely not true?

Better yet, let’s not waste time thinking about that. It’s time to move on. Become who you are. That idea that’s been in your head all this time? Let’s do the research and see if it works.

The sky is the limit. Drink some water and think it through to action.

You don’t know what you are capable of, until you remove your limited way of thinking.

Let this be the last time you utter the words, “I can’t.”

There will always be someone there to push back on every idea and thought you have. Unless you’re around the right people, it’s best to keep those ideas and thoughts to yourself.

Get around those who want to see you thrive and succeed. Learn to believe in the positive support instead of the negative trash. Don’t choose to give your energy to the bad things others say, but give your energy to the greatness that you know you possess!

There’s always room for growth. We’re all great at something. Letting others put a cap on your abilities will mentally hold you back. Don’t listen to them, as they are reflecting their insecurities on you. Just because they didn’t do it, they want to tell you that you can’t do it.

That is not you. The sky is the limit. It can be achieved, but not if you have a limited mindset. Stop allowing other people to put their issues on you. Become self-aware and know who you are. Keep doing the work, whether you’re working on your personal growth or on an outside project.

Continue to do your best. The last thing you want to say in your old age is, “I wish I would have…”

The sky is the limit.

Plant Your Seed

We all think of things we should’ve done a long time ago. Ideas seem to come too late, or do they?

Thoughts and ideas don’t come late, we respond late. When you see something, do you say, “I had that idea 2 years ago!”? It happens to all of us.

You can be mad and stuck on the fact that someone else ‘stole’ your idea and put it out to the world, or you can take the next idea you have and begin working on it.

Often, we have thoughts and ideas and our immediate reaction is, “If this worked, someone would have done it already.” Maybe the world is waiting on you to do it.

Don’t allow your ideas to slip away. Now that we have the internet, we can easily do the research and put things together more easily than before. All you have to do is gather the information you need and start the process.

This doesn’t mean it will be easy. It means you will have access to clues and various material, which gives you the opportunity to figure it out. The rest is up to you.

Of course, if you do nothing, nothing will happen. There’s just the possibility of someone else taking the time and energy to make it work and putting out the same idea.

Don’t get mad, get started.

You have a real chance at making your idea come to fruition. If you begin today, imagine where your idea would be in 5 years. Even if it doesn’t work out, you made a conscious attempt at it. You’ll never have the mental burden of ‘what-if?’.

Put yourself in the mind of being 80 years old. What would be the things you wished you would’ve done? Whatever you come up with, that’s what you should do. As said before, if it doesn’t work out, you did make an honest effort.

Spare yourself the pain of regret. Plant your seed today. If it stays in your mind, it doesn’t happen. Give it the rain and sunshine it deserves. Make it happen by taking action and putting forth a sincere and intentional effort, today.

How To Hack Your Life For Awesome Results!

Sorry. There is no hack. No matter what they tell you, there is no magic pill or mathematical equation that will enhance your life.

You want to make your life better? Find your own hack. The same ‘hack’ doesn’t work for everybody.

What does work is being consistent. Moving forward. Not allowing your emotions to get in the way.

In order to hack your way to a better anything, there has to be constant progress. Being ‘all in’ one day and lazy the next couple of days does not promote movement. Even if you have to break it up into small chunks everyday, that’s more consistent than making three huge splashes every month. Big progress or little progress, you are responsible for making it move.

The biggest reason it doesn’t seem to be happening is because of excuses. When you want to have that awesome life, you have to put yourself on the next level. If you’re on a ‘good’ level, then to get to the ‘awesome’ level, you have to push harder – remaining on the same level won’t get you to where you want to be.

Going to the next level may be changing your surroundings or joining a new networking group. Or, you could put in more effort and expose your work to more people. Advancing to the next level doesn’t happen all at once, but do something different once a week or once a month that you haven’t done before.

When you level up, it encourages movement, and movement encourages growth.

People often get caught up in their emotions when it comes to working through challenges and obstacles. They are there for a reason. It’s not for you to stop, it’s for you to grow. Blaming and complaining doesn’t solve or help anything.

Be like a computer. When you search for something in the computer, the computer doesn’t say, “Sorry, not today. I’m too tired to search. Ask me again tomorrow. Girl, stop.” No, the computer gives you results. No talking back or smart comments involved. It’s purpose is to help you find the solution to whatever you’re looking for.

That’s how you face those tough challenges. Try it the next time something doesn’t go your way. Put your emotions and reactions aside and focus on finding a solution.

These may sound like several small hacks, but even these suggestions may not work for everyone. There is no ‘one hack fits all’. Find your own personal hack and make it work for you.

Excerpt From “Help! I’m Stuck” Book 2

How To Manage Your Mind, Defeat Distractions and Create Confidence

I distinctly remember in high school how I had tons of homework and after school activities. In order to keep up with everything, I had to either manage my time or simply quit. In my household, quitting was not an option.

These tasks kept me busy, but I had to develop a strategy to keep everything going smoothly. My mind was everywhere, not to mention peer pressure was at an all time high and that can totally mess with your self-esteem. These were situations that tested my skills as a person. I had never even heard of ‘personal development’ at this point in my life.

The good thing was that I had an awesome circle of friends. We all had a variety of schedules, yet, we handled them like pros because no one wanted to look like the weak link. It was a type of silent encouragement.

It was a sin to have nothing to do. If you weren’t studying for a test, you should be doing a project. If you weren’t doing a project, you should be busy with an after school activity. If not that, you should have a part-time job. There was always something to do.

There was no time for distractions. We were all busy, doing things to reach the next level.

Life After College

Upon graduating from college, things changed. I found a great job and had my own place, but then what? My friends were all in different places and we’re all in various stages of our lives (because everyone’s life isn’t as synchronized as it was in school). Some are still at home, some moved out of state, some like to party at night and sleep all day – everything is different.

Now, I have to really figure out what I like. Going to work and coming home with nothing to do but look forward to the next day at work wasn’t going to satisfy me. The nightlife can get tired pretty quickly, especially if that’s not your ‘thing.’ This is an experimental stage of life. It’s sink or swim. It’s all on you.

The Art of Doing Nothing

After awhile, I realized I was kind of just drifting along. My mind wasn’t being challenged, distractions became my friend and my confidence began to decrease. Everything became gray and redundant. Get up. Go to work. Come home. Watch TV. Eat dinner. Take a shower. Watch more TV. Fall asleep. Wash, rinse, repeat.

What do you do once you leave a place where all of your options are provided for you and now, that convenience is gone? It sounds great that you have all of this freedom, but what do you do with it? No one is there to give you a list of extracurricular activities to choose from for the next four months. Your life, literally, becomes your own.

The question becomes: what do you do and how do you continue to grow yourself into something greater? How do you challenge yourself when there is no one there to challenge you? How do you get back to being that productive, forward-thinking, active, courageous person?

Excerpt from the book, “The Goalden Lady Presents: Help! I’m Stuck: How To Manage Your Mind, Defeat Distractions and Create Confidence by S.R. Roberts

Reacting vs. Responding

Let’s talk about reactions and responses. When there’s a situation, are you the person who reacts or responds? Being a responder is better than being a reactor. Let’s look at the example:

On your way home from work, there is a car accident that happens right before your eyes. The cars collided head on and no one, in either vehicle, is moving. You race from your car to the scene and try to assess the situation. You have called for help. This accident looks pretty bad, but you are talking to the victims, keeping them calm. You let them know that help is on the way and ask if there is anything you can do to help. The dispatcher tells you to keep the victims still, as much as possible. You are communicating back and forth with the victims and letting them know that everything is under control. There is light conversation between you all, until the ambulance arrives. They take over and the police is asking what happened and you calmly tell them what you saw.

Or, the story could go like this:

On your way home from work, there is a car accident, right before your eyes. The cars collided head on and no one, in either vehicle, is moving. You race from your car to get a closer look. “Oh, no! Look at all the blood,” you scream as you run between the two cars. “This is so bad — this is really bad. OMG! I hope you don’t die!” you exclaim. Meanwhile, the victims in the cars are crying and upset, as you run around, having a holy fit. “Somebody call for help!” one of the victims scream. “Where’s my phone?! I think I lost my phone!” you continue as you scramble around the scene. Fortunately, someone passing by has called for help. When the ambulance arrives, the victims are so emotional and confused that it’s hard to see what has happened. The police asks you questions, but he has to calm you down first. After fifteen minutes of chaos, you are calm enough to tell what happened, but now, it has all become a blur…

Between both of these stories, which one reacted and which one responded?

In the first story, you responded. You were efficient and you kept the victims calm. Your focus was completely on them and how to help the situation. It turned out well for everyone, therefore, making for better results.

In the second story, you reacted. You were frazzled and the victims were even more frazzled, after you freaked out. Nothing was done to comfort the victims and you focused more on yourself. Even though the victims were hurt, you let your emotions explode out of control, which only made them feel worse. This is what happens when your emotions take over.

As you can see, when you respond, you manage to handle the situation. Your emotions took a back seat to what was going on and you maintained a sense of normalcy, for the victims’ sake.

When you reacted, it only enhanced an already bad situation. Your emotions ballooned and your focus went out of the window, if there was any to begin with. The accident was bad, but you didn’t make it any better by announcing how bad it was and how awful it looked.

Being focused is always a strength. When you respond in any situation, it makes it easier to deal with. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, it helps to remain calm and think things through.

Try not to overreact. It can be surprising when things happen out of the blue, but as in any situation, you must remain calm. This helps promote a productive outcome.

Next, with your emotions aside, figure out how to help. Keep your feelings to yourself, because it won’t make things better.

In most situations, the calmest person becomes the leader among everyone, simply because they are constructive and appear to be in control.

Excerpt from: The Goalden Lady Presents: Help! I’m Stuck: 10 Strategies To Push You Through To Achieving Success A Personal Development Series, Book 1 by S.R. Roberts