environment Archives - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: Protect Your Conversation

When you have an ‘a-ha’ moment, you want to tell everyone. You’re thrilled and want to share how great your idea is and how you’ll go about your plan. As exciting as it is, everyone won’t share your enthusiasm.

Have you ever been around people who are Negative Nancy’s? No matter what you say, they will surely find a way to make pessimistic remarks. They’re always making snarky comments to bring you down.

If you know someone like this, why would you want to spend your time explaining your idea if you know they’re just going to shoot it down? They intentionally wait for happiness to shine, just so they can bring the rain. Talking to this person can damage your outgoing spirit, so don’t give them too much of your time. I wouldn’t share my hopes and dreams with someone like this.

Having those bright ideas should be an important moment for you. Share it with those who are encouraging and supportive. When you come across those obstacles, you’ll need someone in your corner to help push you forward – not someone that says, “I told you so.”

Be careful who you discuss your goals and dreams with. Talking to the wrong person will certainly kill your dream on the spot. That’s no good for you. You deserve a chance to see it through without any discouragement. You want to be around those who will help you expand and grow, not those who want you to remain stagnant.

Take control of your environment. Be around people that have the same drive as you. Limit your time with the Negative Nancy’s and Debbie Downers. Once you do this, your environment will create itself into a positive circle of optimism. You will be surrounded by forward moving people who encourage you and support your focus.

A plant can not thrive in polluted soil. It eventually becomes weak and stops growing. The weeds will take over and the plant will become part of it’s surroundings.

Change your environment. Be around people who will give you sunshine and rain to grow. Don’t let a bad element overtake you. Plant yourself among the growing element. Be mindful of who you share your bright ideas with. It could be the difference between you reaching your goal or your goal becoming a distant thought.

Position Yourself In A Winning Environment

Change can be hard. You realize you need to do something to improve yourself or a habit to create to do better.

Just doing it can be difficult, but sometimes, we make things more difficult than they have to be. You want to achieve your goal, but you set yourself up for failure.

Prepare Yourself

How can you prepare yourself for whatever happens? It’s simple to do, but we can make things bad by putting ourselves in non-productive situations.

If you want to eat more healthy foods, it’s easy to think it. When the time comes to go out with friends, that’s when it becomes a challenge.

Everybody wants to eat fast food or something unhealthy. It may not be their fault, but you must be prepared to face situations like this. They will do their best to convince you to eat unhealthy with them – they’ll tell you that one time won’t hurt – they may even insult you to make you feel bad enough to eat along with them.

Should everyone eat healthy just to make you feel better? It would be awesome, but not necessarily. The responsibility lies with you. You must prepare to respond to these types of scenarios.

You can either flat out refuse to eat, or you can order something healthy, if possible. If worse comes to worse, you could even pack a healthy snack with you wherever you go.

Be prepared enough to not give in.

Self-Sabotage

You must be aware of your surroundings when you’re out and about. Some environments will make you slip back into habits that you are working to get rid of.

If you’re trying to stop drinking, don’t go to a bar. You’re setting yourself up for failure. Why even tempt yourself? You may be strong enough to resist, but don’t even put yourself in that position.

People will try and motivate you to drink, especially if they know you’re trying to change. At this point, they’re not to blame. If you do take a drink, it’s on you. You put yourself in that place to begin with and you’ll have to suffer the consequences, not them.

Know how to position yourself. Think of the effects it could have on you. Being in a place that doesn’t promote your greatness is self-sabotage. People will do what they do (and try to convince you to do it, too), but you must be willing to put your foot down and make the right decision for yourself.

Position Yourself To Succeed

This is one of those things that’s easier said than done, but if you’re serious about the change you’re making, it should be a no-brainer.

Do you know what to do? Do you know what you want? Of course, you do. Be clear with your intentions – if you’re not going to eat unhealthy foods or drink alcohol, stick to it. Don’t let anyone distract you from your mission.

Face yourself and the the many possible outcomes. There’s no need to play the victim or have a pity party if it doesn’t go your way – this was your decision. Yes, we all know it’s challenging to do what needs to be done, but the responsibility is yours. All you can do is position yourself well the next time and do better.

This is your personal journey – it’s something that you must do for yourself. No one else can walk that road for you. Not only will you be a better person and make yourself proud, but you’ll be an inspiration to someone else.

Don’t give in to resistance. It’s the first instinct your mind runs to because it wants to remain comfortable. Be flexible and learn to adapt and adjust. Allow your mindset to shift from resistance to freedom – the freedom to choose how you want your life to be and to play it out in that way.

5 Signs You’re Headed Towards Positive Growth

There are little hints that occur in life when you’re headed towards positive growth. It’s important to recognize, because you are becoming a more responsible and courageous person.

It takes guts to come into these positive changes – everyone doesn’t experience this ‘change’ at the same time. For some, they never experience it at all.

Here are 5 signs that shows you are headed towards that change in your life.

Positive Growth Happens When…

You’re money conscious. Most of the time, this happens after you become independent and start to take care of yourself without anyone’s help. Five dollars isn’t the same when you have to earn it for yourself. Also, you begin looking into different ways to make more money, or passive income. Should you rent or buy? Invest in stocks or real estate? 401(k) or Roth IRA? These options become more meaningful as you start to think long term and consider your financial future.
Your social circle has expanded. You have outgrown some of your old friends. The things you used to do are no longer captivating. You start to explore on another level, as you are motivated and inspired. Seminars and conferences are on your schedule and you actually enjoy attending them. Your old set of friends will say you’ve changed or you think you’re better than them, but that’s their insecurities talking. You’re not only growing, you’re challenging yourself and you like it.
Excuses bother you tremendously. When you hear someone give a lame excuse at work, or in general, it irks you. When you’re growing, you see excuses as distractions. Making up excuses for everything is childish and lazy. At a certain point in life, you just want to focus on getting things done and making progress. Making and correcting mistakes along the way is what leads to results, not excuses.
You make time for your goals and hobbies. All of a sudden, you begin to acknowledge the things you want to do, as if they were brand new ideas. A plan is put in place to accommodate your goals and hobbies. It’s no longer just a dream or something they do on TV, it’s something you want to work on and achieve. Even if others don’t agree with it or like it, it doesn’t matter – this is something you want to do and you’re going to find a way to do it.
Your perspective has shifted. Mindset is everything. How you think about various situations has changed. Personal development has become a priority in your life, because you have recognized your potential. This leads to adjusting the way you think and how you see things. You’re aware that everything doesn’t deserve your energy, so you’re careful with how you respond.
BONUS: Your life isn’t guided by fear. Fear is a very powerful thing. Sometimes, we allow fear to direct the way we live our lives. As you grow, fear takes a backseat. There’s no time to be fearful – you have obstacles to overcome and goals to accomplish. Courage has replaced fear and you have become full of confidence.

Productivity Encourages A Better You

It’s an exciting time when entering a new phase of your life, especially when it promotes personal growth. Friends and family can make you feel bad about it, because you’re changing and they want you to stay the same, but there’s nothing to feel bad about – growth is happening and you’re becoming more productive!

Always bet on yourself. No one else can live your life for you. Instead of believing what someone else says is impossible for you, go out of your way to make it possible. Make those dreams come true and those ideas stick.

This is your life and you have the power to create it. Don’t let anyone discourage you from being the success that you want to be.

#BeGoalden

Building Life-Changing Habits

Everyone has habits and patterns that they live by. Most of those habits are done unconsciously and carried over into adulthood from our childhood environment. Building life-changing habits isn’t hard, once you figure out what habits you want to change.

After becoming an adult, you begin to recognize those habits you didn’t create. Maybe you have a drink after work every night or you read a chapter from a book before bedtime. Whatever it is, determine which habits propel you forward or hold you back.

The Habit Of Fear

Your childhood environment has impressed upon you certain habits. One of those habits could be fear.

My mother is deathly afraid of water. When we were younger, we would take trips to the beach, but she would warn us not to get in past our ankles. We weren’t even allowed to sit on the side of the pool. Water was not allowed in our lives, unless we were taking a shower or washing dishes.

As we became older, my siblings and I realized that water wasn’t as bad as we thought. We’ve led active lives by learning how to swim, taking water aerobics and participating in other water sports, without fear.

It took a while to get rid of that fear, because it was ingrained in us to never get too close to water. Once we became older, we changed that fear into something more productive.

The Habit Of Consistency

On the other hand, my father is an avid reader. Every night when he came home from work, he would read the newspaper.

This was another unconscious habit I picked up in my childhood. I love to read almost anything I can get my hands on. Like him, there’s not a day that goes by without me reading something.

This is one of the habits I learned in childhood that served me well. Not only does reading improve your comprehension and understanding, it helps to increase your focus.

What Habits Have You Created?

The biggest misconception about habits is that they can’t be changed. Just because it’s a habit doesn’t mean it’s permanent.

Think about where most of your habits come from. Whether they are good habits or bad habits, you have the power to change them to work in your favor.

Create new habits for yourself. What is that one thing you want to do every morning before you start your day, or that one thing you want to do before you go to bed? Make it a habit and it will become a natural part of your everyday life.

Positive Habits Can Change Your Life

By creating positive habits, or replacing bad habits with better habits, it can change your life.

The more you challenge yourself with good habits, the more confidence you will have. Things that seemed too scary to do, will become easier over time.

Building good habits will also diminish your limiting thoughts and beliefs. The more you do that habit, it will increase your self-esteem and you will find courage to follow through with your goals.

Always Have Productive Habits

When you develop your good habits, never stop. Instead of walking one mile, keep improving until you can walk or run a marathon. The good thing about practicing good habits is that they lead to better opportunities and endless possibilities.

It’s important to keep increasing your efforts and habits. Take it one day at a time and reward yourself. Celebrate the small wins, so that you know it’s possible. This helps as you move closer to your end result.

If you want to change your life for the better, you must start by building better habits. Replace the bad habits with life-changing habits by taking baby steps. If it’s a bad habit, do it a little bit less. If it’s a good habit, do it a little bit more.

Day by day and week after week, you’ll start to see a shift towards a more constructive and energetic life!

#BeGoalden

Big Thoughts Should Encourage Big Actions

Having big thoughts should equate to taking big action, but instead, we do the opposite. We have been programmed to think that we should leave the big ideas to someone else.

Everyday, we have ideas that we don’t act upon. We politely put them aside, as if we will consider them later. Later, never comes.

Think of how it will be when your idea works – how many people it will help, the number of kids it will inspire – it is very possible to see it come to life!

Get Out Of Your Own Head

Who told you to bury your ideas? Did someone embarrass you when you were thinking out loud? Why do you think you’re not good enough?

It’s the outside talking. We were all born with greatness inside. In the past, someone told you that you weren’t good enough or that your idea was stupid.

Now, you carry this with you for the rest of your life. It’s not true – get out of your own head and focus on your idea! You’re holding yourself back because of what others might say or think.

Don’t Live Your Life In A Box

Take action to bring your idea forward – if you have a big idea, it’s going to take some big action! Stop intimidating yourself into thinking that it won’t work.

All you have to do is be resourceful. Put one foot in front of the other and move. Living in a box is self-limiting – other people may have put you there, but you must break out.

You could be spending your time around the wrong people if they don’t inspire you to grow. It’s okay to walk away from a situation that doesn’t serve you. Find a better environment that fits your goals and visions.

Thoughts = Action

That’s a formula you should remember. Your actions should align with your thoughts – if you can’t control your thoughts, you can’t control anything.

How many times have you not taken action, because of that silly, negative voice in your head? Push that voice aside and take a different approach.

If you have an idea, start coming up with a strategy, right away. Act as if you are the owner of that awesome idea (you are)! Build it out in your head, write it down or record it on your phone. That’s how you take action.

It May Not Go The Way You Expected

If your idea doesn’t go the way you expected, then you know that approach didn’t work. Turn left and start again.

It’s not supposed to go exactly right the first time you do it. This is where you build your work ethic and your discipline. Others stop here, but you will go on.

Expand your mind and explore that idea. The original idea could easily take you down another road, that could possibly lead to a more productive outcome.

Big Ideas Matter

Give it a chance. If you do your research and you start moving little pieces, something is going to happen. No idea is too big for you to create in the real world.

Don’t sell yourself short. You are better than you think. Make an attempt to get those ideas and thoughts out of your head and into existence!

Give yourself permission. Get out of that box and start. You have limitless possibilities as long as you have breath in your body. You are amazing. Now go and do some amazing things!

#BeGoalden

Improving Your Mental Environment

It’s been said that you can’t help the type of environment you were born into, but it is your fault if you stay there.

Some people are born into a negative environment. Whether it influences you mentally or physically, recognize that you have the ability to rise to a new level.

If you can fix your mental environment, eventually, your physical environment will change for the better, also.

It can be difficult to overcome pessimistic surroundings, but keep in mind, no one is coming to save you. You have to learn how to turn the negative into a positive, in order to be successful.

People in your environment may gossip, watch TV all day, or waste time worrying about things they can’t control. Give yourself a chance to exceed this type of mentality.

Just because you are around it, doesn’t mean you have to succumb to it’s negativity.

There are ways you can improve your mental environment. Here are a few recommendations:

Listen to a podcast. Nowadays, you’re not stuck listening to whatever’s playing on the radio. You can listen to any type of content that you like. There are literally thousands to choose from. Search for something that speaks to what you want to do or how you want to be. Even though there is a huge variety to choose from, don’t get caught up listening to the wrong thing. The point is to listen to words that can motivate you to live your dream.
Watch YouTube videos that strengthen your mind. Like podcasts, there are many videos you can choose from. If you’re interested in plant-based foods, there’s a beginner’s video for that. If you’re interested in learning how to integrate a certain software with another, there’s a specific video for that. There is so much to learn with YouTube videos – make it your personal video library.
Join a group. Involving yourself with a group can be encouraging and motivating. There are many select interest groups that have members where they can help you or you can help others with different challenges. You can even lurk around in the group until you feel comfortable with participating. Avoid groups where the members are negative – you want to be among like-minded individuals, who hold the same interests and goals as you do.

Escaping a bad environment is hard enough, but if you can protect your personal space with positivity, it’s very much worth the effort.

Listening to podcasts and watching videos are things you can do independently of others. No one has to know what you’re listening to or watching – it can be done without anyone volunteering their opinion.

Joining groups or masterminds involve other people. Some may be ‘know-it-alls’ or Negative Nancy’s. Don’t give in to those types – there are other people who are very helpful and can offer guidance and insight within the group. Stick with those types and ignore the others who may just want attention or be a negative leader.

Technology has provided us with so many options to be better in this day and age, the least we could do is take advantage of the best of it. If not, be prepared to be left behind in just about every aspect of life, because it is everywhere.

If you improve your mental environment, your physical environment will eventually follow suit. In today’s world, there is no excuse to not become who you are meant to be.

#BeGoalden

How To Hack Your Life For Awesome Results!

Sorry. There is no hack. No matter what they tell you, there is no magic pill or mathematical equation that will enhance your life.

You want to make your life better? Find your own hack. The same ‘hack’ doesn’t work for everybody.

What does work is being consistent. Moving forward. Not allowing your emotions to get in the way.

In order to hack your way to a better anything, there has to be constant progress. Being ‘all in’ one day and lazy the next couple of days does not promote movement. Even if you have to break it up into small chunks everyday, that’s more consistent than making three huge splashes every month. Big progress or little progress, you are responsible for making it move.

The biggest reason it doesn’t seem to be happening is because of excuses. When you want to have that awesome life, you have to put yourself on the next level. If you’re on a ‘good’ level, then to get to the ‘awesome’ level, you have to push harder – remaining on the same level won’t get you to where you want to be.

Going to the next level may be changing your surroundings or joining a new networking group. Or, you could put in more effort and expose your work to more people. Advancing to the next level doesn’t happen all at once, but do something different once a week or once a month that you haven’t done before.

When you level up, it encourages movement, and movement encourages growth.

People often get caught up in their emotions when it comes to working through challenges and obstacles. They are there for a reason. It’s not for you to stop, it’s for you to grow. Blaming and complaining doesn’t solve or help anything.

Be like a computer. When you search for something in the computer, the computer doesn’t say, “Sorry, not today. I’m too tired to search. Ask me again tomorrow. Girl, stop.” No, the computer gives you results. No talking back or smart comments involved. It’s purpose is to help you find the solution to whatever you’re looking for.

That’s how you face those tough challenges. Try it the next time something doesn’t go your way. Put your emotions and reactions aside and focus on finding a solution.

These may sound like several small hacks, but even these suggestions may not work for everyone. There is no ‘one hack fits all’. Find your own personal hack and make it work for you.

Excerpt From “Help! I’m Stuck” Book 2

How To Manage Your Mind, Defeat Distractions and Create Confidence

I distinctly remember in high school how I had tons of homework and after school activities. In order to keep up with everything, I had to either manage my time or simply quit. In my household, quitting was not an option.

These tasks kept me busy, but I had to develop a strategy to keep everything going smoothly. My mind was everywhere, not to mention peer pressure was at an all time high and that can totally mess with your self-esteem. These were situations that tested my skills as a person. I had never even heard of ‘personal development’ at this point in my life.

The good thing was that I had an awesome circle of friends. We all had a variety of schedules, yet, we handled them like pros because no one wanted to look like the weak link. It was a type of silent encouragement.

It was a sin to have nothing to do. If you weren’t studying for a test, you should be doing a project. If you weren’t doing a project, you should be busy with an after school activity. If not that, you should have a part-time job. There was always something to do.

There was no time for distractions. We were all busy, doing things to reach the next level.

Life After College

Upon graduating from college, things changed. I found a great job and had my own place, but then what? My friends were all in different places and we’re all in various stages of our lives (because everyone’s life isn’t as synchronized as it was in school). Some are still at home, some moved out of state, some like to party at night and sleep all day – everything is different.

Now, I have to really figure out what I like. Going to work and coming home with nothing to do but look forward to the next day at work wasn’t going to satisfy me. The nightlife can get tired pretty quickly, especially if that’s not your ‘thing.’ This is an experimental stage of life. It’s sink or swim. It’s all on you.

The Art of Doing Nothing

After awhile, I realized I was kind of just drifting along. My mind wasn’t being challenged, distractions became my friend and my confidence began to decrease. Everything became gray and redundant. Get up. Go to work. Come home. Watch TV. Eat dinner. Take a shower. Watch more TV. Fall asleep. Wash, rinse, repeat.

What do you do once you leave a place where all of your options are provided for you and now, that convenience is gone? It sounds great that you have all of this freedom, but what do you do with it? No one is there to give you a list of extracurricular activities to choose from for the next four months. Your life, literally, becomes your own.

The question becomes: what do you do and how do you continue to grow yourself into something greater? How do you challenge yourself when there is no one there to challenge you? How do you get back to being that productive, forward-thinking, active, courageous person?

Excerpt from the book, “The Goalden Lady Presents: Help! I’m Stuck: How To Manage Your Mind, Defeat Distractions and Create Confidence by S.R. Roberts

3 Things That Keep You From Taking Action

There are many things that can keep us from moving forward. In the process of meeting your goals, you should have an encouraging environment, healthy mindset and strong belief that you can do it, even when others say you can’t.

Environment. Your environment plays an intricate part in your personal development. The people around you can be critical. It’s easy to be pessimistic and insult others. People will put their insecurities on you and try to make you feel bad, but don’t fall for it. They actually wish they had the guts to do what you are doing. It takes the pressure off of them and places it on you.

Being in a supportive environment will definitely work in your favor. It will force you to level up and face your challenges head on. An encouraging environment allows your creativity to grow. As a result, you will grow as a person and you will reach your goals with confidence.

Stop getting ready to get ready. You have a bright idea and you plan to get started on it right away. Then, you think about what kind of research to do. You dwell on how you’re going to prepare so that everything turns out just right. The bright idea continues to live in your head.

The idea is there, but you’re not moving. You keep procrastinating and thinking. Thinking about it can only take you so far. At some point, you’re going to have to act upon your idea. Get out of your own way and do something to make the idea happen. It will live in your mind forever if you let it. Don’t be a great thinker, be a great action-taker.

Belief. The most important thing is believing in yourself. Others may not believe in you, but you have to bet on yourself. No one is going to trust your idea will happen until you make it happen. If you believe in yourself, you don’t waste time trying to convince other people to believe in you. Your work will speak for itself.

Learn to take a chance on yourself. Don’t wait for permission from someone else – give yourself permission. It’s your idea and you’re responsible for bringing it to light. Others will let you down, but if you believe in what you’re doing, you’ll have the courage to see it through.

These things can hinder your progress when working towards your goals. Make it happen by being around people who support you, take action and believe in the one person you know can do it – you. Stop looking to others for permission and just start. You got this.

Protect Your Conversation

A plant can not thrive in polluted soil. It eventually becomes weak and stops growing. The weeds will take over and the plant will become part of it’s surroundings.