August 2019 - The Goalden Lady

How To Approach The Next Level To Success

Are You Performing At Your Highest Level?

Approaching the next level to success will increasingly demand your best performance. It’s impossible to reach for level 10, when you’re only giving level 3 effort.

It’s a matter of personal responsibility. Do you react or respond when things don’t go your way? Does quitting become an option for you? How can you level up in order to achieve your goals?

Personal Responsibility

It happens to everyone – something doesn’t go the way we expect it to and we react by quitting, pouting, or being defensive.

Reacting to the situation like a 3 year old doesn’t help anything. Let’s be the mature people that we are and respond constructively.

Instead of feeling like everything and everyone is out to get you, take responsibility for the result. Know that you are capable of improving the situation to your benefit.

It’s hard to take an objective view at yourself, but that’s the only way you can make progress. Your mom and your friends will tell you what you want to hear, but you must be strong enough to be honest with yourself, if you want to get to the next level.

Quitting Should Not Be An Option

Being defensive puts you in a negative energy state. Your feelings are hurt and the only way you know how to deal with them, is by lashing out. When you begin to feel this way, the next step is quitting.

Blaming and complaining are the 2 immediate reactions when it comes to being defensive. You attempt to put the burden on someone else. In your mind, this makes you right.

It’s natural to think of quitting sometimes, but you should ignore the thought. The obstacle that you are facing can be solved and it won’t last forever. Once you figure out what to do, you’ll be in a better position to continue to the next level.

A Different Level Requires A Different Effort

Have you ever heard of the saying, “What got you here, won’t get you there”? It’s true.

Putting forth effort is great, but when you put that same effort towards the next level of progress, it won’t work.

Reaching the next level of success will demand a different strategy and intention. Leveling up depends upon your ability to adjust and stretch a little further.

Understand that the same efforts you used to get to the beginner’s level, will not get you to the intermediate or advanced level. You must do a little more and increase your thinking along the way. This is what it takes to reach the top.

Level Up Your Mindset

All in all, everything you do revolves around your mindset. It takes another level of thought in order to succeed with your goal.

It’s always better to think positive than to think negative. Even when you consider constructive criticism, it’s not really negative – it’s a suggestion on how you can do better. Be adult enough to handle it with grace.

Being able to take responsibility for your actions and improve upon them, is a great catalyst to approaching the next step successfully. Continue to raise your standards, live up to them and you’ll be prepared to accomplish your goals at the next level.

Focus On Minding Your Own Business

Distractions are all around us and that’s where our focus goes. It’s hard to avoid – it’s on your phone, TV and at work. Some businesses are even built around capturing your attention with these distractions.

When we get caught up scrolling through social media and mindlessly watching TV (among other things), we lose ourselves. We think about everything else, except what we’re doing with our own lives.

What Do You Focus On?

Everyone has an opinion. We participate in conversations and listen to what’s happening around us and we automatically have our own version of what we would do in that situation.

Our minds are constantly working. It’s important to have productive discussions on different things, but you don’t have to give a response to everything, all the time.

We’re so used to putting our two cents in about other people’s business that we forget our own. Our focus becomes what we think about what’s going on outside of us, as opposed to what’s going on within ourselves.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

This is why celebrities are rich – we constantly give our attention to them, as if it really matters, and they continue to become bigger distractions.

Imagine if you didn’t pay attention to what the president said today. What if you didn’t pay attention to the latest scandal? If you didn’t pay attention to that celebrity and what happened on their yacht?

These are all distractions. When you give away your concentration to things that don’t affect you and your life, it’s a distraction. Yes, it’s entertaining on some level, but some of us forget that we have a life of our own to design.

Giving your attention to something is the same as giving away your energy. It takes energy to focus. Don’t give your energy away to someone or something else to the point where you neglect yourself. Your life deserves to have your energy and attention. Besides, who else is crafting your life, but you?

Be Your Own Distraction

Instead of worrying about why your favorite football player is not starting in the game, focus on why you haven’t started in your own game.

When you direct your focus on something other than yourself, it takes away from your goals. Time is of the essence and we must take responsibility for our actions daily.

This won’t happen if you’re continuously glued to your device. Let your own life be your distraction. Focus on your plan, so you can become successful like the people you are being distracted by.

Concentrate On Your Own Business

If it’s not going to change anything in your life, leave it alone. What Kim Kardashian wore yesterday shouldn’t dominate your thoughts and conversation. She’s not helping you in any way.

You can like her all you want to, but don’t forget about your life, by being wrapped up in her life. She already has her millions – do you have yours?

You are in control of where your attention goes, how you think and your path to greatness. Be confident enough to live the life of your dreams and stop watching others live the life of their dreams. You are worthy of your own focus and success.

#BeGoalden

The Best Investment To Make, When You Have Absolutely Nothing

What is the best investment to make, when you have nothing? Is it stocks? Real estate? Car collection or hand bags?

Before you even think of making an investment, you must have a lot of money, right? Wrong. There’s one thing you can invest in that’s free and well worth your time and energy.

The returns on this specific investment is infinite. All you have to do is have a mindset of discipline, confidence and resilience to begin.

What Can You Invest In Without Money?

You don’t necessarily need money to invest in something. People invest their time and energy into things they want to see grow and become better.

The biggest investment you can ever make in your life, is investing in yourself.

Yes, you! There is something that you enjoy doing or want to know more about – this is what you invest in. You put forth extra effort and stay up late because you want to see it develop into something more.

Throughout that process, you are learning and building yourself into a valuable resource. You are investing the time and energy it takes to become an unstoppable version of yourself.

How do you invest in yourself?

Know what you want to do. What are you good at? Is there something you do everyday, flawlessly, that is hard for others? There is something you’re awesome at. If you’re not, you can become awesome at it. Know what you want to do (or have an idea) and be clear on it. Some people get caught up in the idea of knowing and they forget to take action, but the process doesn’t stop there.
Read and research. Learning never stops. You can always read and discover something you didn’t know and apply it to your life. It doesn’t take money – you can do research on the internet or listen to a lecture full of gems. Have an open mind when it comes to new information. Improvements can always be made.
Develop strong habits. Habits create your identity. Routines put those habits into practice. It’s good to be spontaneous, but habits must be in place to promote productivity. No one is spontaneously successful. Constructive habits and skills will increase your personal value.

Make Time For Your Personal Investment

Most of us are looking for ways to impress other people so we can get a job, be in a certain circle or get to the next level. We do things to gain attention from other people, as opposed to building ourselves.

When you invest your time and energy into others, it can be a disappointment. They may not see your significance and dismiss it, without a thought. You’re at their mercy.

Now you’re stuck, trying to figure out who to impress next so you can move on. Instead of making other people see your value, see the value in yourself. Why not attempt to put your future into your own hands?

Invest in yourself. Benefit yourself before you give your benefit away to others. When you invest in yourself, you open up doors to new possibilities and endless opportunities. It also gives you the highest advantage of profiting from your own skills, first.

The investment that you make in yourself is priceless. You are the best investment that you could ever make and no one can take that away. Stocks and real estate will go up and down on a whim, but the constant investment you make in yourself will allow you to grow in many ways throughout life.

#BeGoalden

The Journey To Finding Yourself

Knowing who you are can be a real challenge. Years of environmental conditioning can alter your thoughts and beliefs about yourself. Often times, we go throughout our lives and assume the identity that has been given to us. Finding yourself, indeed, is a lifelong journey.

Ever since you were young, people have been saying things to you and about you. The bad things they say tend to stick with us, because we replay it in our minds and begin to believe it.

How do we get to know ourselves? Should we receive what other people say about us as true? Do you have the courage to find and become who you are meant to be?

How Do You Go About Finding Yourself?

Finding yourself is definitely a journey that you want to take seriously. It’s not something that you have to wait to do until you’re 18 – you can start at anytime.

Understand that this will take time and you must be patient. It’s unrealistic that you will find yourself in 30 minutes and be done with it. This will be something to practice on a regular basis, if you want to see results.

To begin, take a few minutes each day and write down something that has held you back every time you wanted to do it. Where did it come from? Why do you believe it? How can you change it to your advantage?

It’s not for you to dwell on the past, but for you to work through it and become mindful of why you believe it. Then, you can find a way to combat the negative and turn it into a positive.

People Can Be Critical

Imagine someone told you that your ideas suck and if it was great, someone else would’ve done it by now. As a result, every time you have an idea, you don’t take action.

Everyone is worthy of seeing their idea through. There will always be people who are critical of the positive things you do. It’s their way of getting in your head, so they can feel ‘big’. If you allow them to take advantage of your thoughts in this way, they will have control over you, because they have the power to change your mind.

It’s your responsibility to guard your mind. You can listen to what others say, but you don’t have to accept it or let it sink into your thoughts. You have the right to dismiss anything that anyone has to say about you – even when it comes to TV or social media.

Figure out a way to turn this critical way of thinking around. Whenever your mind slips into thinking unproductive thoughts, have the confidence to believe in yourself. Crush that criticism and work towards your initial plan.

Believe In Yourself

Going through the process of finding yourself may be long, but it is well worth it. Remember, this is life work, not homework – everything won’t happen overnight. Not only does it make you a more productive person, but it strengthens your self-esteem.

Other people will put their insecurities and fears on you. It’s important that you know this, so you won’t believe and internalize what they say about you. This is why knowing yourself is so necessary.

You don’t have to be what others say you are. Continue your journey to find yourself. Believe in who you are and live up to that idea. Create yourself – don’t leave it up to others to do it. Some people give great advice and say nice things, but for those that don’t, learn to let it go and move on.

#BeGoalden

5 Signs You’re Headed Towards Positive Growth

There are little hints that occur in life when you’re headed towards positive growth. It’s important to recognize, because you are becoming a more responsible and courageous person.

It takes guts to come into these positive changes – everyone doesn’t experience this ‘change’ at the same time. For some, they never experience it at all.

Here are 5 signs that shows you are headed towards that change in your life.

Positive Growth Happens When…

You’re money conscious. Most of the time, this happens after you become independent and start to take care of yourself without anyone’s help. Five dollars isn’t the same when you have to earn it for yourself. Also, you begin looking into different ways to make more money, or passive income. Should you rent or buy? Invest in stocks or real estate? 401(k) or Roth IRA? These options become more meaningful as you start to think long term and consider your financial future.
Your social circle has expanded. You have outgrown some of your old friends. The things you used to do are no longer captivating. You start to explore on another level, as you are motivated and inspired. Seminars and conferences are on your schedule and you actually enjoy attending them. Your old set of friends will say you’ve changed or you think you’re better than them, but that’s their insecurities talking. You’re not only growing, you’re challenging yourself and you like it.
Excuses bother you tremendously. When you hear someone give a lame excuse at work, or in general, it irks you. When you’re growing, you see excuses as distractions. Making up excuses for everything is childish and lazy. At a certain point in life, you just want to focus on getting things done and making progress. Making and correcting mistakes along the way is what leads to results, not excuses.
You make time for your goals and hobbies. All of a sudden, you begin to acknowledge the things you want to do, as if they were brand new ideas. A plan is put in place to accommodate your goals and hobbies. It’s no longer just a dream or something they do on TV, it’s something you want to work on and achieve. Even if others don’t agree with it or like it, it doesn’t matter – this is something you want to do and you’re going to find a way to do it.
Your perspective has shifted. Mindset is everything. How you think about various situations has changed. Personal development has become a priority in your life, because you have recognized your potential. This leads to adjusting the way you think and how you see things. You’re aware that everything doesn’t deserve your energy, so you’re careful with how you respond.
BONUS: Your life isn’t guided by fear. Fear is a very powerful thing. Sometimes, we allow fear to direct the way we live our lives. As you grow, fear takes a backseat. There’s no time to be fearful – you have obstacles to overcome and goals to accomplish. Courage has replaced fear and you have become full of confidence.

Productivity Encourages A Better You

It’s an exciting time when entering a new phase of your life, especially when it promotes personal growth. Friends and family can make you feel bad about it, because you’re changing and they want you to stay the same, but there’s nothing to feel bad about – growth is happening and you’re becoming more productive!

Always bet on yourself. No one else can live your life for you. Instead of believing what someone else says is impossible for you, go out of your way to make it possible. Make those dreams come true and those ideas stick.

This is your life and you have the power to create it. Don’t let anyone discourage you from being the success that you want to be.

#BeGoalden

If You Want To Improve, Make Mistakes

Mistakes Are Mandatory For Self-Improvement

It’s natural for humans to want to avoid mistakes. Everyone prefers to appear that they have it all together and that nothing ever goes wrong.

But, it does. Life happens and being perfect just doesn’t exist. You can look like you have it all together on the outside, but you know you’re barely holding it together on the inside.

Mistakes aren’t little things that get in the way of your progress. You may not like it when things don’t go as planned, but it’s essential to your self-improvement.

What Are Mistakes?

Mistakes are little instances that you don’t expect to happen. Even when you’re doing your best, something can still go wrong.

While riding a bike, you don’t expect to fall, but once you figure out how it happened, you make it a point to keep it from happening again.

When you fell off of your bike, you discovered that your shoe strings were too long and got caught in the pedal. Next time, you stuff your shoe strings inside of your shoe, to prevent from falling again. Lesson learned.

A simple person would have stopped riding bikes, altogether. Rather than facing the challenge and finding a better way, they shrink back into their comfortable space.

Understand that simple mistakes like this will arise, but it’s up to you to figure it out, so you can keep moving forward.

Mistakes Give Direction

Some people don’t know how to handle mistakes. They become angry and take the easy way out by giving up.

Mistakes are not a sign to give up, but a sign to change direction or course correct. This is an important part of the process, because it allows room for improvement, as you go along.

Imagine if you gave up, every time you made a mistake. You wouldn’t achieve anything in life. Being lazy would be your highest standard.

When mistakes happen, it’s like a GPS telling you which way to go. Even a GPS will re-route when you go in the wrong direction. It doesn’t stop working just because you took a wrong turn. It searches for another way to get to your destination.

Other People’s Reactions

One of the biggest reasons why we don’t like making mistakes, or admitting to them, is fear of what other people think.

People are insecure. They will give any type of reaction that makes you feel small and not-so-smart. They want the attention to be on you and not on the mistakes that they make.

When they laugh about it, laugh with them. Don’t let it make you feel insignificant. Once you learn from your mistake and keep going, they won’t be laughing anymore.

Learn To Adjust

Your mind is your greatest asset. Use it to it’s full capacity – that’s what it’s for. Having the ability to adjust when things go south is a fundamental trait to possess.

Instead of being discouraged when something doesn’t go right, take the time to see what happened and how you can improve upon the outcome for next time. Have a ‘can do’ attitude when it comes to solving issues, even when it’s unexpected.

Treat your mistakes as your teachers, because they are. Without them, you would go around in a circle, staying within your comfort zone. They show you the path that leads to success. All you have to do is be confident, make corrections and follow through.

Living In Your Phone Leads To Defeat And Distraction

Living in your phone is the biggest distraction. It’s self-defeating because you know what you’re capable of, but your attention is on what others are doing.

Using electronic devices, such as your phone, is a form of voluntary distraction. Depending on what you use it for, it can have an effect on your daily perspective of life.

Shiny Object Syndrome

With social media, it can be easy to see how other people have success every second. They post pictures of cars and money and it makes you think that you can do it, too. You can, but are you willing to put in the work?

It’s easy to see success, but it’s not so easy to see and accept the work that goes behind it. No one wants to experience the journey, only the results. This is why you’re not accomplishing anything, because you keep hopping around from one thing to another, thinking it’ll make you rich like the other person.

That, in itself, is a distraction. You’re focused on how awesome it would be to have all the friends, cars and the money, but you never get started on the actual path. Even if you do start, if it’s not working, you’ll find something else that’s better (shiny object syndrome) and before you know it, you’ve boarded that train.

Seeing people’s results are distracting, but you must make the decision to follow your own path. Jumping from one thing to the next just because it made one person rich, does not guarantee your success. Stop trying to get rich quick and follow the path you want to take.

It’s Going To Take Time

Once you stop looking for how to get rich quick on social media, then you can begin thinking about what you really want to do.

Some people don’t know what they really like, because they’ve been too busy looking at what other people like. Take a break from others and focus on yourself.

Everything seems to happen instantly on social media, but that’s because no one is publishing their challenges and obstacles. If they did, they might not have such a big following. The process is boring, but the results are exciting.

Understand that when you figure out what you want to do, it’s going to take time. Your journey is unique to you. No one else can go through it for you.

This is why you should do something that you like, or at least, something you’re good at. There will be times when you want to give up, but if it’s something you have the desire to achieve, you’ll have no issues with sticking it out.

Free Your Mind

Take a digital detox day. Turn off your notifications on your phone and pay attention to what’s going on around you. Live outside of your phone for a while.

Having an entire day to yourself without being distracted and controlled by your phone, will allow you to think on a deeper level. You’ll actually start thinking for yourself, as opposed to having a device telling you what to think.

This is how you find what you want to do. Even if the internet is destroyed tomorrow, you would still find a way to achieve your goals.

When you go back to using your devices, instead of using them to see what others are doing, use it as a resource to enhance what you are doing. Social media isn’t all bad – it just depends on how you use it to create your own success.

#BeGoalden

Expect More From Yourself Than You Do From Others

Some of us expect more from others than we do from ourselves. We want other people to be loyal to us, responsible for their actions and reliable when needed.

Some people’s actions can be disappointing, especially if you expected more from them. They look out for themselves and will sacrifice a friendship when convenient.

Who Are You Loyal To?

The word ‘loyalty’ has been used a lot lately. When you are loyal to someone, you make a commitment to be trustworthy and to stand by that person, no matter what happens.

To some people, loyalty is like doing favors. If you help me now, I’ll help you later. If you don’t, then basically, our friendship is over. That’s not loyalty, that’s blackmail.

Being loyal is great, but be careful who you’re loyal to. Some people only want to be loyal when there’s something in it for them.

Loyalty should be unconditional, not based on how much you’ve done for someone. It’s not an equation where everything has to be equal on both sides. The expectation of being loyal is a trap that destroys many relationships.

The best person you can be loyal to is yourself.

Being Responsible Is A Reasonable Expectation, Right?

What you define as responsible and what someone else defines as responsible, can be two different things.

My mother would tell us, “If you loan someone money, never expect it back.” Why? Because when your friend has a sudden loss of memory about paying you back, you become angry.

The responsible thing to do would be to pay back the money, but some people think that if you’re a friend, you should understand. You’re left with the guilt of having to ask for your money back, or at least hoping they’ll give it back without you having to ask. It could break up any friendship.

If you never expect it back, there won’t be any potential issues. Also, it will save you tons of emotional stress and resentment.

Being Reliable

Being reliable is an excellent trait to find in anyone. What happens when you run into someone who isn’t as dependable as you think they should be?

When you’re a dependable person, it’s only natural that you think everyone else should be just as reliable as you are. Sometimes, that’s just not the case.

There will be some people who will use you to their advantage, without giving it a second thought. Once someone shows you who they truly are, believe it! Accept their actions for what it is and move on.

No one is like you. Of course, if you ask someone to do something, they should have the common courtesy to be dependable enough to follow through, but again, some people are selfish and only think of themselves.

What You Think They Should Be

Do you notice a pattern? The pattern is: You think everyone should be…

Everyone is not who you think they should be. We all have different experiences in life, therefore, we handle things differently.

You can think all day about how others should be a certain way, but the reality is, they’re not. It comes to a point where you’re only disappointing yourself.

Therefore, you should set expectations and standards for yourself and follow through. Even if you disappoint yourself, you know what you’re capable of and you’re honest about it. It’s hard to lie to yourself.

Do yourself a favor and don’t put expectations on other people. You’ll only end up being angry and holding grudges while they go on with their lives. Instead of expecting a certain behavior from others, put those standards on yourself. By doing this, you’ll become the shining example for others to look up to.

If You Want To Succeed, Learn To Level Up

In some parts of the world, it’s ‘back to school’ time and students are preparing to level up – everyone is getting ready for the next grade. This means that the work may be a bit more challenging, but you’re expected to learn and make progress.

Once we leave school, moving forward to the next level (or, the next grade) stops. There’s no one there to care if we continue to advance to the next part of our lives.

The Process Of Leveling Up

In school, you were given a certain curriculum to complete for whatever grade you were in. If you did the work and passed the tests, you were promoted to the next grade.

Every grade demands another level of intelligence and presents a new set of challenges. The ultimate goal is to get to the next grade, successfully.

Every year, you would be promoted to the next grade and learn something that built upon what you learned the year before. It was a process that allowed you to achieve your academic goals, while increasing your thinking skills.

What Happened?

After graduating from the final phase of school, we settled into working a job, paying bills and living for the weekend. There were no more levels for us to accomplish.

School may have it’s faults, but one thing it did teach was the value of having levels in your life. Having levels in your life, like school, helps you to focus on moving forward and making major strides in your life.

The most we do now is make New Year’s resolutions. For most of us, that only lasts until the end of January and the rest of the year is uneventful.

As adults, we don’t plan different levels and phases of our lives. We tend to just ‘wing it’ and hope for the best. At most, we do just enough to get by and that leads to surviving, as opposed to living.

There Are Levels To Life

Even though we’re happy to be out of school, we don’t go on to live a happy, productive life. No one is holding us accountable to go to the next level, so we’re stuck on that one level where school left off.

In order to succeed at anything in life, you must create a system of levels. Writing down your goals are great, but once you figure out what to do, you have to take action and follow through.

Taking action will lead to mistakes and things going wrong. Once you overcome that challenge, you’re on to the next level. This is where progress is made and goals are accomplished.

Have A System In Place

Create a strategy for your goals. Keep a record of what works and what doesn’t. Build on your progress by measuring your results.

If you want to lose 2 pounds a week, write down what you will eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, for each day of the week. Keep track of what you actually ate, compared to what you were supposed to eat. When you review your results, you can make adjustments to do better the following week.

Having a system in place will hold you responsible and give you direction. When you write it down and record your outcomes, you can easily determine how to proceed more efficiently in the future.

After graduating from school, never stop learning – be a student of life. Put a system in place to keep advancing towards your dreams. Hold yourself accountable and keep following through. Continue to level up until you have the life you’ve always imagined!