Month: June 2017

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is just not working. I feel stuck and uninspired. It’s not good to accept feeling that way. Eventually, I figured out what helps me to get unstuck and motivated.

Get up and move. Take a hike. Turn on some music and dance. It helps your mood and it helps you move. Ideas start to flow. When you feel like you’re just not yourself and it’s hard to find progress in anything you do, do something physical. It won’t work, unless you do it.

Sweating also helps. When you work up a good sweat and you take a shower and have a healthy snack, you’ll feel better. I’ve never seen a person who is depressed after an exhilarating workout. Now, all you have to do is be consistent. That’s why a lot of people exercise when they first wake up. It’s a good way to fight that feeling, before it comes on. The more you do it, the better you’ll feel.

In case you do become stuck and uninspired again, just remember, nothing beats a good workout. If you don’t know what to do, just go outside and run. You may be tired afterwards, but you’ll feel magnificent and smarter!

No need to continue to read – drink some water and go!

Everyone wants to be right in a discussion. Sometimes, discussions turn into arguments. No one wants to lose, so the argument can get very heated. You lay down your supporting points and you just can’t understand how the other person thinks they’re right and you’re not. These things can get ugly, but you should learn to let it go.

There’s a reason why they say don’t discuss religion or politics, among other things. People get really wound up when talking about the two – it’s very rare that any two people agree wholeheartedly on those subjects. There are some people who won’t let it go and they have to prove they’re right. The discussion will go on and on, into the parking lot, on the phone, etc. It won’t stop until they hear those two little words, “You’re right!”

Personally, I don’t do arguments. I’ll have a spirited debate, but when it’s over, I move on to something else. I could give a hoot whether you agree with me or not. I know what I believe in and it’s not my job to make sure that you believe it, too. Being able to debate is a very good skill to have. It’s when people get in their feelings and resort to shouting and possibly violence – that’s when it goes entirely too far.

To have peace of mind, sometimes, you just have to “lose” the argument and let it go. It’s too much, especially when you go up against someone who absolutely has to win. It’s not showing a sign of weakness, but a sign of maturity. Everyone has their opinions and you can respect that and move on before it becomes too serious.

So move on. All of that energy can be used to solve other problems and surpass insurmountable challenges. You can make better use of your time by doing something else that deserves your time. It’s like when boxers fight each other. They are focused and determined to prove their worthiness against their opponent, but when the fight is over, they talk and congratulate each other, win or lose. They appreciate and respect the sport and their opponent.

Express yourself and move on. You already know that someone isn’t going to agree with everything you say, so why bother wasting extra time and energy on it? Having debates can be a very balanced and eye-opening experience, as you listen to the other side. Just don’t let the debate turn into an argument. If it does turn into an argument, be capable of ending it peacefully. Like a boxer, you’ll live to fight/debate another day.

Making a decision can be tough for some people. It can stifle your progress and keep you from pursuing opportunities. Being indecisive can turn off the right people, simply because you can’t decide. You want to be able to make a choice and be okay with it.

I have a friend who’s very indecisive. We could be in a store for hours, just so she can decide on the right colored shirt to buy. Then, she ends up buying both shirts because she can’t decide. Let me say (write) that again: SHE BOUGHT BOTH SHIRTS (if you can’t tell, I was steaming). She could have bought both shirts in the beginning and we could have had more time to do other things. She’s a very good friend, but making small, insignificant decisions is not her strong point. If it’s not life threatening in any way, just choose.

What happens if you make the wrong decision? You drink some water and deal with it. If it needs further action, do what needs to be done and be through with it. Some decisions may have severe consequences and most of the time, you will be given a certain amount of time to decide. It’s the small decisions that slows down your day. Red tie or blue tie? Ham or turkey? Paper or plastic? Happy or sad? The point is to make a decision about simple things. It won’t kill you – try it. For the entire day, don’t ‘think’ about or analyze the choice. Simply choose and move on.

It’s not worth your time and energy to stall your life in order to make a simple decision. You never know what opportunity you could miss or how much time you are taking away from something else of importance. Before I go to bed, I know what I’m wearing in the morning, what I’m having for breakfast, and what I have scheduled for the next day. It makes life that much easier. Mark Zuckerberg wears the same thing everyday, just so he can save time and energy for more important things. It works.

Focus on what’s important. Save your analyzing thoughts for things that deserve it. Don’t waste time deciding on something that adds no value to you. The quicker you are with making simple decisions, the faster you can move on with your life. You’ll also have more time to work on your goals.

You’ve heard it before – “if you stay ready, you won’t have to get ready.” This is one of the most truest statements ever. If you stay ready on all fronts, life will present you with more opportunities and less stress.

In school, you have quizzes and tests. Whether your teacher is good or not, it’s up to you to prepare for a potential pop-up quiz or the chapter test. There are many students who cram for their tests, but if you study a little bit, day by day, it won’t seem like much. Prepare by actually studying on a consistent basis – cramming does nothing but bring about stress for most people.

How about money? No matter how much you make, you have the ability to save something. Even if it’s only ten bucks a month, save it. People will make excuses for not saving their money and when a problem comes up, they don’t have any. This is old advice: save some money for a rainy day. Trust me, the rain will come. You won’t be hit as hard if you save – it doesn’t hurt (just in your mind). I’d rather have something saved, than nothing at all.

When you become older, your body doesn’t respond like it did when you were younger. The fast food doesn’t melt away as quickly when you eat it – it tends to just sit there. If you want to prevent any type of medical ailment or condition, try exercising and eating better. I know genetics plays a role in some instances, but you do have the ability to prevent a health scare. Eating three cheeseburgers almost everyday and being surprised that you have super high cholesterol ain’t gonna get it. You know better, so do better.

Yes, it can be hard to stay ready for everything – these were just some examples. Once you develop the habit of staying in front of potential situations, you’ll have less stress. I don’t want to cram last minute for an exam, live paycheck to paycheck, or eat until I can’t fit through the door. I’d rather prevent it, if I can, and deal with it by staying ready.

Life can be overwhelming at times. Situations come up and it can be hard to handle everything at once. The secret is, you don’t handle it all at one time. You have to prioritize. When you prioritize, it may seem slow, but it’ll all get done.

Some people panic when there’s a lot to do at one time. Knowing how to actually make a ‘to-do’ list can be a big help. Keeping everything in your head is not a good idea, especially when there is a lot to be done. I’d rather make a checklist of what needs to be done, than to realize later that I forgot to do something.

So, how do you begin? Write it down. Have a pen and paper handy. When it comes to you, you need to write it down immediately, or it will torture you until you remember what it is. I always have a small notepad in my purse for those moments when I’m out. It helps tremendously. When I get home, I can take a look at what I wrote and begin to prepare my attack.

Next, you’re going to put everything in order. Of course, you’ll do the most time-sensitive items first. Then, plan the other things, accordingly. This way, everything is out of your head and it doesn’t seem as overwhelming as it actually sounds. Put dates to those items. Check them off when you’re finished. It’ll give you a sense of accomplishment.

Last, you’re going to actually do those things on the list. Item by item. When you’re done, check it off or draw a line through it. It’s done. Move on to the next thing. This is good to do on a daily or weekly basis. It makes the impossible, possible.

Now that you know how to approach those ‘oh, it’s so much to do!’ moments, things will start to come together. Take it step by step. You can use this approach with anything in your life. It’s a great way to achieve anything. Drink some water and put one foot in front of the other, one step at a time.

There will be days when your energy is low and you just feel tired. You see people who claim they never stop working and can perform on 2 hours of sleep. Everyone wants to make it seem like they’re a superhero when it comes to taking action and being successful, but rest is one of the most important things you can do to achieve your goals.

If you’re tired, you’re tired. Get some sleep. You can not operate on 2 hours of sleep every night. Eventually, it will catch up to you. It may even have an adverse effect on your health. You simply need rest. Your body functions better when it has been rested. Yes, there are some people who constantly go, go, go, but in the end, they have to get in their rest, somewhere.

Listen to your body. Some of us confuse being tired with being lazy. Please know the difference. Tired is when you’ve been working and putting forth great effort and you feel yourself winding down. Even at this point, a lot of us find the inner strength to continue, and that’s fine. Just know when your body and mind need the rest. Lazy is having energy and rest, but making the conscious decision not to use it constructively. When you know something needs to be done, but you just don’t “feel” like doing it. Then you wonder why you’re behind in almost every aspect of your life.

When you get your rest, your work will be more dynamic. Your thinking is clear and you make better choices. It’s not a crime to get six or more hours of sleep at a time. You can still succeed at what you’re pursuing. It becomes an issue when you get up from resting and then – you do nothing. In order to keep moving, it takes energy. Get some sleep.

Working your goal can be difficult at times. There will be times when you want to stop and give up. Perseverance is what makes the achievement of your goal worth it. Of course, you won’t get that feeling unless you stick with it and keep going.

While you are pursuing your journey, there will be many options presented to you. One option is the gatekeeper. The gatekeeper is the person who “keeps the gate” to your dreams. It’s the person who owns the music studio. It’s the person who works in human resources. It’s the person that knows the publisher. The gatekeepers are the people who can make the next step to your goals, the final step.

Speaking as a woman, most of us have had an experience or two with a gatekeeper. Whether it’s in the corporate world or as an entrepreneur, gatekeepers are everywhere and in every profession. They appear when you’re doing well and you’re the best at what you do. They know you have ONE more step that could make your success happen. So what do they do? The gatekeeper will ask you to sleep with him/her. The gatekeeper will ask you to do drugs to fit in. The gatekeeper will offer you money to do a small favor.

In return, you think you will meet the person who can sell your product, or who can make that promotion happen. If you happen to do what the gatekeeper says, it never ends. Next, they will have you doing things that you normally don’t do. Then you are known as the person that will do anything to meet so-and-so. The gatekeeper will blackmail you and string you along for their pleasure. In the end, you will have only compromised yourself, for nothing.

The best thing to do is to bypass the gatekeeper. They will try and try (it’s their goal) to make you do things you don’t want to do. They will laugh at you and make you feel small. Don’t fall for it. The gatekeeper always wants something in return, to take you to the next level. What the gatekeeper doesn’t know is this: you can pivot and go in another direction that won’t involve them. You have to remember that, also! You don’t have to go through the gatekeeper. You always have a choice. It’s better to keep your sanity and integrity, than to risk it on one person who claims to have the keys to your success. Only you have the keys. Don’t let gatekeepers fool you into thinking that they are the only way you will achieve your dreams.

It may take longer and you may have more challenges if you bypass the gatekeeper, but it will be worth it in the end. You will be able to sleep with a clear conscious at night. Don’t compromise yourself. Let your path be an example to other ladies, to let them know that you don’t have to give in to the gatekeeper. You have a choice and that is your power. Never let the gatekeeper, or anyone else, take your power.

The thing about achieving your goals, is this – they are YOUR goals. No one else had the idea of following YOUR goals and achieving them. It was YOUR idea, so why expect anyone else to do it for you, let alone, help you?

Some of us get stuck at the beginning of the goal plan. We think that people will agree with our idea and want to help, but don’t believe the hype. The people who you expect support from will be the same ones who will give you a hard time and try to stop your progress. They’ll say things like:

“That doesn’t sound like such a good idea.”
“Don’t you think someone else has already done that already?”
“I don’t see a future in that.”
“Aren’t you a little too old to be doing that?”

Whether it’s your family or close friends, people will try to keep you from working your goal. Everyone is not as supportive as they should be. People will even go as far as to play mind tricks on you, like:

“Your ankles look to small and weak to run a marathon.”
“Are you feeling OK? You don’t look too well…”
“I haven’t seen you running in the neighborhood.”
“How do you expect to run a marathon? You don’t even drink water.”

Silly things like that would throw the average person off and make them start doubting themselves. You will hear similar rhetoric like this on your journey to success. Don’t allow anyone to plant the seed of doubt into your mind. It’s a downward spiral, because you start to think about all of your failures and challenges you didn’t act upon. The past doesn’t matter, so let it stay there – you will begin to work your plan at this moment and move forward!

The best thing to do is not tell anyone, unless it’s someone you know who would be very supportive of you. When you begin to do things to better yourself, others will naturally make comments that go against what you’re trying to do. Not all people, but you will encounter some with the “crabs in a barrel” syndrome.

The best way to achieve your goal is quietly. When you tell the wrong people about your plan, it has a way of convincing you that maybe you shouldn’t do it. Keep it to yourself. Let your success do the talking. No one will do it for you and don’t depend on anyone to help. These are your goals, therefore, you should be inspired to work them to completion yourself. Your desire and excitement should wake you in the morning and exhaust you to sleep at night. It may take months, it may take years, but in the end, you can say, “I achieved MY goals!” Those same people who made the negative comments in the beginning will (all of a sudden) be your biggest fans.

When you look at other people and how they obtain their success, does it make you jealous? Do you feel far behind in life? If there is one thing for certain, it’s this: your journey is not the same as someone else’s. Stop comparing yourself to those who already have it. The grass always seems greener on the other side.

My mother used to tell us, “Don’t want what other people have, because you don’t know how they got it.” She is old-school and she is correct. They could have sold drugs or created an invention. Everyone has their own way of succeeding, but they will always look like they have it all and they always seem to have what you want. Don’t fool yourself, your time will come. As long as you keep concentrating on your work (your grass), you will get there in YOUR time.

We all know that people are different and we have different paths in life. Why is it so hard to believe when you think about yourself?

“She has the career, husband, 2.5 kids, and the house.”
“I wish I could lift weights and look like him.” (Do guys really say that?)
“If the internet was out when I was 18, I would have been a millionaire by 23, too.”
“How did he get to buy that Lamborghini?” (Do guys really say that?)

First, everyone can see the results, but, as my mother said, you don’t know what path they took to get there (good or bad). No one knows how hard you work in the trenches, busting your hump to make your dreams come true everyday. It makes you look unfriendly and anti-social until you buy the bar out at the most expensive club in the city. Second, stop gushing over someone else’s stuff. It’s fine to honestly admire someone and their success, but you can do the same thing. Stop lurking, start working. Third, you can’t go back in time and do it over. Who cares how old you are, the best time to start is NOW. Develop your plan and work it!

Stop looking at what others have and begin making and hustling your own plan. The focus has to be on your work and not what others have at the moment. You know what it takes, so get to it. Everyone sees the success, but no one sees the hard work behind it.

The grass will always be greener on the other side, but you have to tend to your own grass. Your grass won’t be green if you’re too busy paying attention to someone else’s. Focus on nurturing your own grass. Everyday, you must do something to make it grow in abundance and to promote it’s health. If you work at this, you won’t worry about what’s on the other side of the fence – you’ll be amazed with your own grass.