September 2019 - The Goalden Lady

You Have a Choice: Discipline Or Disaster?

Consider how productive your life would be if you had to choose between discipline or disaster. Everyday, we make the decision to create good habits, or to take the easy road.

Your daily habits lead to the outcome of your life. If you choose to be intentional with what you practice, success is very attainable.

If you decide to let life lead you and go with the flow, it can be disastrous. It’s your choice: live with discipline or suffer the consequences of potential disaster.

Life’s Path

Understand that you are in control of your life. Whether you were born with certain advantages or not, your life is still your’s to create.

You can only do what you can manage. Things happen out of the blue that aren’t within our control – those are the situations we have to adjust to.

The things you can control will drive you towards your achievements, but only if you make the right choice. You are able to control many situations like when you sleep, what you eat, when you study, and making good and bad choices.

The outcome is the result of those habits that you can control. Let’s see how building the habit of discipline can guide you toward accomplishing your goals.

The Discipline Habit

Discipline is the foundation of becoming successful. It takes focus, consistency and other characteristics to get there, too, but they all fall under discipline.

Your mindset plays a big part in being disciplined. Being disciplined requires you to do things that are not easy – it’s when you make the difficult choice, instead of the easy choice. When you want to eat that piece of cake, but you choose the apple, or when your friends go out to party, but you choose to stay home and work on your craft.

Doing the thing that will lead to long term, positive benefits is definitely a challenge, but it can be done. When you have to make the conscious decision to do what you’re not used to doing, even when you don’t feel like it, you’re building the habit of discipline.

What happens when you don’t have the habit of discipline?

Unconscious Disaster

When you aren’t disciplined, you’re allowing life to happen to you. If you don’t control your daily habits, it can potentially lead to a disaster.

What happens when you don’t pay your bills on time? You have to pay late fees and ultimately, it will affect your credit score and then you’ll have to pay more interest for a loan. See how that breaks down in the long run?

What happens if you don’t exercise and eat right? You may gain weight and have less energy. When your kids want to play with you, you easily give out of breath and have to sit down. A heart attack may surprise you one day and after staying in the hospital, you’re hit with a huge medical bill.

Think ahead – your decisions and actions have consequences. Some of these can end up being disasters that can last a lifetime. Make sure the results you want will benefit you in the future.

Choose Your Discipline

Being disciplined is hard, but so is dealing with a potential disaster. If you can direct your life away from misfortunes, it should be an easy decision to make.

Choose your hard. There are habits we can control, to the point where we can influence the results that we want. It may not turn out in our favor sometimes, but adjustments have to be made in order for things to grow and work out.

Don’t settle for instant gratification – think long term. The more disciplined you are now, the less disaster you will face in the future.

We aren’t able to control every aspect of our lives, but let’s make the best of the parts that we can control. Life does happen, but we do have the ability to lead our lives in a more positive and disciplined direction.

#BeGoalden

Be Responsible – Getting Your Ducks In A Row

Going through different situations can be hard when you’re not responsible. Being proactive with your life should be a priority. When you have your ducks in a row, it makes life a little bit easier to deal with.

Life can throw a curve ball at any moment and you want to be ready when it does. We can’t anticipate everything that will go wrong, but we can do enough to keep it from working against us.

Being Responsible Is Not That Difficult

Everyone isn’t raised to be responsible. Some of us were raised (into adulthood) to be dependent upon others for whatever we need. Buying the latest tech gadgets and clothes with your money, but asking other people to ‘help’ pay your living expenses, is as irresponsible as you can get.

Look around you – you can see the effects of being irresponsible. Not paying your parking tickets? Your car will be towed. Haven’t payed your rent in 3 months? You will be evicted. Didn’t pay your phone bill? It will get cut off.

It’s not a surprise – you know what will happen when you don’t follow through with certain things. These are consequences that you are fully aware of.

If you take care of your business and pay these (and other things) on time, you won’t have to deal with the drama of late fees, other bad outcomes and harsh results.

Money Has A Lot To Do With It

If you noticed, the scenarios I just mentioned all have to do with money. Not all, but most circumstances have to do with money and can be proactively avoided.

Yes, situations happen out of no where. Your water heater stops working or you have a flat tire. It’s a pain, but these things can be efficiently handled if you have your ducks in a row.

Everyone can spend their money the way they want to, but when you have to constantly borrow ‘a little something’ until you get paid, there’s an issue that needs to be addressed.

What does a financially responsible individual look like? At the very least, have a checking and a savings account. Your checking account is for everyday expenses and bills. Your savings account is for saving your money for when that water heater stops working or you have that flat tire.

Depend On Yourself

We were put on this Earth to help each other, but not to be taken advantage of. Being independent says a lot about your integrity and who you are as a person.

Depending on other people only invites more drama into your life (and theirs). You have to ask them for something, then you have to see if they’ll help you. If they do, then you have to wait for them to help because they don’t get paid until Friday…it can be a mess and a huge hassle to go through. It’s uncomfortable for everybody.

That’s why it’s good to be independent. When you have your ducks in a row, you can do things on your terms and when you feel like it. You never have to wait on anyone for help – you can do things at your own convenience. Being independent works to your advantage.

The World Keeps Turning

When unfortunate things happen in our lives, the world keeps turning. Nothing and no one stops for you, just because you’re in a bind, whether you created it, or not.

Most of the things that happen, we can prevent. Pay your bills on time. Maintain a good credit score to avoid high interest rates. Exercise and eat healthy. Stop being surprised when something bad happens, due to your lack of attention and effort.

Get your ducks in a row, no matter how young or old you are. Your life is your responsibility, no matter what circumstances you were born into. You have the ability to become anything you want to be – it’s in your control. You can simply start by being responsible and independent.

#BeGoalden

A Mistake Is Not Permission To Give Up

Everywhere we look, we see people who seem to have it all together. Their entire life has been made to look like one huge success.

In reality, those people made mistakes. Those same people dealt with obstacles and mishaps. Essentially, they failed their way to success.

What do we expect when we’re making our goals happen? Is it supposed to be easy, or even fair? Should one day of thinking about the results be enough to get there?

What Is A Mistake?

Most people think that mistakes are a bad thing – that it only happens when you’re doing something wrong. While that is somewhat a valid definition, it’s not completely true.

A mistake is feedback. Nothing more, nothing less. When you make a mistake, it’s not the end. Really, it’s the advice or direction you need in order to proceed further.

Mistakes are just another way to tell you to readjust your plan. When you see a detour sign on the road, you don’t turn around and go home. You simply discover a new route to your destination.

A Mistake Allows You To Figure It Out

Another reason some of us don’t get a chance to accomplish anything, is because we want the exact blueprint to get where we’re going and it doesn’t exist.

Everybody’s path is unique to them. Two people in the same type of business may be successful, but they didn’t get there by following an exact ‘this is how you do it’ template.

Your journey is yours to experience. No one else can follow your path because we all have different situations we have to live out. Therefore, every challenge and obstacle will be specific to that person.

Everyone doesn’t have the same drive and motivation to achieve their goals. You may have more focus than your friend, or your friend may be more persistent than you. How you navigate your circumstances determines your degree of success.

What Success Really Looks Like

What does success really look like? No one hardly ever puts out the down side of achieving their goals, but it definitely happens.

Prior to achieving your goal, you may experience any of the following:

late nights
early mornings
short on money
negative self-chatter
feeling lazy
the wrong thing happens at the wrong time
the right thing happens at the wrong time
low self-esteem
pity parties
giving up

It takes a strong mindset and more than normal effort to continue until you see your desired results, but it’s all a part of the journey.

Give Yourself Permission

Instead of taking the easy way out and being average, give yourself permission to stay up late until you finish or do just one more rep. No one should have to tell you how to win at your game.

One of the biggest things you should focus on is not giving up. A mistake is not a hint for you to give up and feel sorry for yourself. It is not confirmation that you’re on the wrong track. Adjust your path, but keep running.

Let’s be honest – you may have tried, but not hard enough. You’re capable of reaching your dreams, but you have to know it.

Do whatever it takes for you to believe and move forward – say positive affirmations, smile at yourself in the mirror, or compliment yourself in some kind of way – it doesn’t matter, but you’ve got to know that you are just as worthy and deserving of your achievements.

There is no mistake, distraction or insult that can stop you. Know that the only person that can stop you is yourself. Have the confidence to believe in you, go out and accomplish your dreams.

#BeGoalden

How To Find The Opportunity In Fear

It sounds impossible, but you can find the opportunity in fear. Depending on your mindset, fear can either hold you back or take you to another level.

We’ve been trained to see fear and hurt as something to avoid. It’s something ‘bad’ that we want to get away from and we don’t ever want to experience it.

Have you ever considered that maybe your fear is pushing you in the right direction? Let’s examine how we normally react to fear.

Blaming And Complaining

Fear gets the best of our emotions. As soon as something makes us fearful, our feelings kick in and take over.

For some of us, that means we automatically become defensive. We create different excuses as to why we haven’t done something. The excuses are portrayed through blaming and complaining.

We say things like, “I couldn’t make the speech because they didn’t give me the right microphone…” or, “The lights were so bright, I couldn’t see the audience.” That’s fear consuming your mind and your attitude.

Those may be somewhat legitimate reasons (to an extent), but they’re still excuses. Sometimes, you will have to get things done, whether you are comfortable or not. Everything is not guaranteed to happen to your personal satisfaction. The end goal is to make it happen, the best way you can.

Practicing Fear

Some of us actually practice the fear within us. When you have pity parties and feel sorry for yourself, that’s being supporting of a negative emotion.

We say things like, “They said I’m no good at singing. I never was and I guess I never will be…”, or “I flunked the test twice already – I guess it’s not meant for me.” You’re indirectly inviting negative energy to take hold of your life.

If it’s something you really want to overcome, don’t feel bad because it didn’t happen the first time around. As long as you breathe, you can make another attempt.

There will always be people who are critical of whatever you’re doing. Never allow what someone else thinks, to interfere with what you’re doing. It’s their insecurity, not yours, so don’t claim it.

The Pity Party

The pity party is the ultimate setback. Some of us were raised to think and be fearful of things we’ve failed at. We’ve been taught to accept that we’re not ‘good enough’ and that’s not okay.

We’re used to reacting to obstacles by putting ourselves down. “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” Then, you begin playing all of your failures from the past, over and over in your mind.

This is not the ONLY way to respond to fear. Yes, it hurts when challenging situations happen, but have a mindset of power and opportunity. Stop practicing fear by having a “woe is me” attitude and thinking that you’ll never succeed.

Be Proactive

All of our lives, we’ve allowed fear to steal valuable moments from us. We’re so used to believing in a negative, emotional power, that it literally takes up our most important asset – time.

Reclaim your time and take advantage of your fear. Be productive by turning it into an opportunity to become better. Make it a personal project that you must successfully complete!

Instead of letting fear control you, take control of it. See the benefits of what fear has to offer and use it in your favor. On the other side of fear is improvement. See through it, then, see it through.

#BeGoalden

Stop Giving Power To Your Past

Giving your power to your past is one of the biggest personal distractions you can allow. Situations that you keep re-thinking over and over again, can keep you complacent.

Whatever situations that have happened in the past can push you, or hold you back. Instead of recalling the success and productive moments of our lives, we unconsciously prefer to remember the negative moments.

No one wants to go back and relive the distressing and awkward moments and with good reason – but what if you could use those moments to create a more productive outlook?

The Good Times

Reminiscing about the good times with family and friends always brings about good feelings. You look back and remember how things were simple and the little silly things you did that made life adventurous.

Those feelings are very strong. It puts everyone in a good mood and lightens up the atmosphere. Everyone wishes that they could go back in time and relive those moments.

When The Past Holds You Hostage

On the other hand, when we think about setting goals and the vision of the future, our minds go south. We remember how everything went wrong the first time we did public speaking, or how we lost the Spelling Bee by misspelling a simple word.

Those feelings are stronger than the good feelings, because they hold you back. Something is reminding you that you don’t want to be embarrassed or make more mistakes. In this instance, you lose your power.

In essence, you’re ending your journey before it even starts. The distractions of the past have frozen your ability to move.

Pick Up Your Feet And Get Moving

As you know, the most important step of success is taking action. The only thing that matters is how to get to the next point.

Before that, you must be in a good mental space. Nothing starts without a thought or an idea, so let’s think positive. Things will go wrong, but be strong enough to know that you will figure it out and above all, you’ll be fine.

All of the mistakes you ever made in your life? That’s feedback. Those things that you call problems? Those are not problems, they’re challenges. The way you look at things can make a world of difference with how you perform.

Shift Your Perspective, Find Your Power

Yes, it’s difficult to forget the bad times in your life. You don’t want to repeat the same negative process over again.

The things that make you feel uncomfortable is where the lessons are. If you must think about it, look at it from a different angle and find a productive solution – don’t just remember it and exhaust yourself all over again.

Use your past to your advantage. You’re robbing yourself if you allow it to keep you from building your future. You are capable of more than you think. Instead of thinking, “I won’t make it,” think, “If I do it this way, it could work.”

When you shift your perspective, things will start to happen. You have the power to open your mind and believe beyond what you think you can achieve. If you can control how you think about your past (especially when it comes to your goals), you will definitely have more control over your future.

#BeGoalden

Be Better Each Day

Being successful doesn’t happen all at once – you have to practice getting better. Accomplishing your goal takes time and energy. The process seems long, but if you do a little bit everyday, you’ll gain more ground and improve more than you originally thought.

Be careful about what you put into your mind and body and know how to handle your money. “What do you mean Goalden Lady?” Let’s break it down below:

Be Better, Mentally

Your mind is constantly at work . It’s always busy thinking, putting sentences together, recalling memories, following directions – it’s a nonstop, active roller coaster.

It’s easy to let garbage enter your mind. Once it’s there, it takes over your thought patterns and logical reasoning. Things like gossip websites and TV shows – you want to be aware of the type of content you process, especially when going out into the world.

Some things you encounter when you’re out and about, is (a lot of times) negative. If you think you can’t do anything about it, think again.

Read motivational and inspirational blogs and articles. Listen to podcasts that force you to think constructively. Network with people who share the same productive interests as you.

When you grow your mind, you grow your life.

Be Better, With Your Health

Being healthy is important, but we treat it like we can order a new body on Amazon if we damage the one we have. At the moment, it’s impossible, so let’s be good to the one you have, now.

Eat a healthy diet. It’s the same concept with your mind – if you put garbage into your body, you will get garbage out through low energy levels, stress and disease.

When you eat better, you’ll feel better. Who wouldn’t want that? We base our diets on what tastes good, as opposed to what is good for our bodies. Some diseases can be prevented, just by adjusting what you eat.

The point of food is to give you energy, not to taste good. Consult a nutritionist to see what diet works best for you. You’re worth the investment.

Be Better, With Your Wealth

People say money is not important, but in some cases, it is. The world operates on money – if you don’t use it wisely, you’ll always be a step (or five) behind.

No matter how much you make, always save something. It doesn’t have to be $500 – it could be anything. We tend to think that we need to have a huge amount all at once, before we save it and that’s not the case.

You can save $1 a day and you would still have more in 30 days than you had before. Start somewhere, but more importantly, be consistent with it. When life’s emergencies happen (and they will), you’ll be prepared to handle them better, than if you had nothing.

How To Be Better, Everyday

Understand that no one falls on top of the mountain. Some people are born with a greater advantage than others, but that doesn’t matter. You can still make the choice to do better.

Start and do a little everyday. Watch a documentary about your hobby, drink a glass of water, save $5 whenever you can – just start and remain persistent.

When you do a little each day, you create a valuable habit that will help you in the future. After 6 months, you’ll be smarter, healthier and wealthier than you were before!

This is how you become better – brick by brick. A house won’t appear out of thin air, you must build it daily and every brick counts.

When you look back on it, you’ll be glad you started when you did. Create your own path, be resourceful and follow through. Be confident and know that you will make it happen.

#BeGoalden

Why Do We Make Simple Things, So Hard To Do?

Why does something so simple, seem so hard to do? It is simple to do, but it’s the only thing that’s holding you back from actually making progress.

Sometimes, the simplest thing can be the hardest to do. It’s easy to overlook doing something, especially when it doesn’t take much to do it.

You know what to do and how to do it, but it doesn’t get done. This is where your mind begins to take over – thinking about other things become more important and your attention is gone.

Your Wandering Mind

Although you are in control of your thoughts, your mind has a mind of it’s own. As crazy as that seems, it’s true.

Have you ever thought about doing something, but before you know it, you’re on to thinking about something else? That’s what happens when you really don’t want to do it. It needs to be done, but you conveniently think about something else to keep from doing it.

Take control of your thoughts. The only time you can accomplish anything is in the present moment. If you are unable to do it at the same time you’re thinking about it, write it down and be sure to come back to it later – keep it simple.

This is where focus comes in. Focusing allows you to follow through on what you’re doing. Sometimes, we have the ‘shiny object syndrome, where something else steals our attention and distracts us and our mind wanders towards it.

Concentrate on what’s in front of you and take action on it now. You can not work in the future, nor the past. You can only do it now.

Emotions Can Cause Overthinking

When you think about doing things, especially things you don’t want to do, you attach your emotions to it. Once you attach your emotions to it, more than likely, it won’t get done.

The thing that needs to be done isn’t bad, it’s the feelings you connect with it. Your emotions will take it to another level and you end up not doing anything.

For example, if it’s time to cut the grass, you could just to do it because it needs to be done. What happens is you begin to attach feelings to it, like: “I’m going to be too tired – it’s hot outside – it’ll be too late when I get home…”

All of these negative feelings will guide you towards doing something else, or nothing at all. Making up convenient excuses doesn’t help when it’s time to get things done.

Analysis Paralysis

Doing research is great. In fact, you should always do research before jumping into anything, but the issue becomes taking in too much information.

When learning something new, the best way to learn it, is to do it. Yes, do your research, but get in the habit of starting as soon as possible.

Most of us get stuck in the cycle of information. We think we don’t know enough (or we could know more) and we dive into that rabbit hole. Before you know it, months have gone by and you haven’t taken any action on anything.

It’s called analysis paralysis. You consume more and more information, to the point where action doesn’t happen – doing the research takes over doing the action.

Again, keep it simple. Do enough research to start. The learning takes place in the doing. Analysis paralysis can deter your growth, but it’s up to you to know when to stop gathering more information and go out and take a step towards making it happen.

Be Simple, Like A Robot

Don’t attach your emotions to anything. If you want to do something, be in the moment and do it.

Your mind is such a powerful tool, it can talk you into being your best, or being lazy. The funny thing is, you hold the advantage! Without anyone telling you, you can think and believe what you want.

Other people can influence what you think, but ultimately, it’s up to you. Remove your emotions from the picture and do what needs to be done.

Most of all, be and act in the present. There is nothing that can be done about the past, nor the future – you can only act in the moment. You create anxiety and stress when you dwell on the past and the future. The past is gone and the future hasn’t happened yet. Focus on now!

Think about the end goal, but your focus should be on the process, because the process is what’s happening at this very moment and it will carry you to your intended result.

Be so focused that you have no time for your emotions to creep in and create doubt. Overthinking is the death of progress. Know where you’re going, but be disciplined enough to be present and take action.

Keep it simple.

#BeGoalden

Learning To Say ‘No’ Could Restore Your Sanity

I strongly believe that we are put on this Earth to help others. When someone needs support, you help them – it’s the responsible thing to do.

While this is true for most of us, you may come across some people who need a little too much help. They prey on others who are overly supportive and take advantage of their kindness.

But, you know you can say ‘no’, right? There’s no law that says you’re supposed to drop everything you’re doing and go out of your way to help others.

A Gift And A Curse

Being helpful can be a gift and a curse. It’s a gift because it’s the right thing to do. When you help someone, you are showing them that you care about them and they don’t have to face whatever it is, alone. Also, it gives you an incredible feeling inside.

It’s a curse because you can easily be taken advantage of and you may not know how to stop it. Some people will see how giving you are and keep using you for as long as they can.

This is not to say that you should stop being nice and supportive of others in their time of need, but in order to be your best self, you must be aware of what’s going on. Remember – you come first.

The Guilt Trip

When you come across someone who is needy, don’t allow them to latch on to you. These are people who always seem to need help with something. They don’t take responsibility for their issues because you do it better.

Don’t be afraid to say no. More than likely, they will become angry and try to make you feel guilty about not being helpful. Some people will even throw Bible verses your way, to make you feel bad.

It doesn’t matter. Before you can help anyone else, you have to help yourself. You are putting yourself in a bad position if you pay their light bill, before you pay your own. Everyone has to be held accountable for their decisions and they are no different.

Do Your Sanity A Favor And Say ‘No’

Saying no seems harsh, especially when you know you can help out. At the same time, you have to do what’s best for you. Helping others is the right thing to do, but when it turns into constant support, that’s where you should draw the line.

Say no for your own sanity. You may feel guilty after you do it, but it will unload that extra stress from your life. You will thank yourself, later.

The crazy thing is, you really want them to stop – you just don’t know how to tell them no! Find your courage and politely remove yourself from the situation by telling them that you aren’t able to help at this time.

Yes, they will eventually get the point. There’s nothing to feel bad about. Actually, you are helping by allowing them to find their own independence. They may go and find another person to support them, but not you. Today, you will learn to say no to those who give you their anxiety and stress. It’s not yours to carry.

Being helpful is great, but taking care of yourself is what’s important. That’s the responsible thing to do 🙂

#BeGoalden

How To Manage Your Mind (Excerpt From: “Help! I’m Stuck” Book 2)

Knowing how to think is not a subject that is taught in schools. Instead, it is up to the parents to teach their child how to think, if they teach them at all. Some of us come into the world following someone else’s lead, not knowing that we can lead ourselves. This causes a world full of non-thinkers. Learning how to think should be a skill that is required learning.

Direct thoughts is using your own thoughts to guide you to a successful life. It is careful, intentional thought that leads to your desired outcome. Among other characteristics, it takes focus and self-discipline to navigate your thoughts to this level.

Too many people are going in the same direction, following the same Joe Shmoe. Students don’t question teachers, academically. School counselors determine the fate of the students and most students go with it, without knowing they have a choice. They no longer control their own thoughts, as they have given up that great privilege to someone else.

Plain and simple: if you are not thinking on your own, someone else is thinking for you. Following someone else relieves you of the task of directing your own thoughts. This fulfills their life and destroys yours.

Direct thinking is a skill that can be taught. First, you must realize that it is a skill, like focusing. You may not know how to do it, but you can learn and enhance upon it through practice.

The best time to learn direct thinking is when you’re a child. You can still learn as an adult, but the earlier you study it, the more you can use it to guide your desired goals.

In essence, direct thought is leading your thoughts towards a certain direction. You are responsible for guiding your own mind. Will you guide it towards a well-deserved positive path or will you guide it towards a lazy, average negative path?

How It All Begins

We are born with basic instincts. There is nothing on our newborn minds, as of yet.

Although we may not know it at the time, we pick up signals within our space. We hear the sounds and experience the environment.

As we get older, our minds become sponges. Habits are picked up and we begin to develop our own thought patterns, depending on our environment. Some environments are filled with love and support, while others lack those basic elements.

We should allow children to think for themselves. Let them experiment. Let them learn to embrace their own challenges without constant assistance. They should know what it takes to solve a problem or make adjustments to changing plans. This will serve them well in years to come.

Children should know it’s a privilege to think for themselves. Historically, people have been abused and scolded for thinking on their own. So called ‘superior’ people were supposed to do all of the thinking for the ‘inferior’ people. This happened in many countries, across the world.

Therefore, we should appreciate the fact that we have the power to direct our own thoughts and we should direct them well. If you aren’t sure how to go about managing your mind in this way, this book will show you how.

#BeGoalden