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Get Out of That Rut By Doing Your Part

Participating in something new can be exciting. You’re all fired up and you expect nothing but the best to happen.

In your mind, you’re thinking, “This is great! It’s going to change everything for me!”

Once you get the information and it’s time to do your part to make things happen, your excitement starts to fade. Eventually, it didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Your life is still the same.

Other people and things can only help you so much. It happens a lot, where people are expecting a ‘magic pill’ and nothing happens.

For example – you attend a real estate seminar that says you can make $10,000 in one month. The ‘guru’ shows you how it’s done.

When you go home, you look at the material.

A month has passed by and you think, “This was a scam. It didn’t even work.”

On the other hand, take a look at what happened. Did you follow through or are you disgruntled because it wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be?

If you honestly put in the effort, you can call it what you want to call it. If the only thing you did was let the material collect dust, you can’t say anything because you didn’t make a true attempt.

Don’t resort to being negative just because you didn’t do the work. Nothing is done for you. You can get help and support, but it’s still up to you to follow through on your end.

Using excuses is taking the lazy way out. Now you’re stuck in an emotional rut and everything stinks.

There is no ‘magic pill.’ There is no ‘hack.’

Your life is based upon your effort. You can only control what you do. Other people can give you suggestions and advice, but ultimately, you are the deciding factor of your success.

Life kicks everyone down. We’ve all lost money, we’ve all had a tough break, we’ve all had unexpected things happen.

It’s hard to think on the bright side of things when you’re going through it. Even when you think you’re failing, you have to do your part. Stop playing the victim and start finding your way.

Here are a few ideas to help get out of that rut:

Take 15 minutes. You can’t be mad forever, but you can be mad for 15 minutes. Get it out of your system for 15 minutes – shout, cry, throw something, whatever it is. Just do it for 15 minutes. After that, you have to get back to figuring out your next move.
Listen to that song. Everyone has that one song that makes you feel on top of the world. It gives you energy and makes you feel unstoppable.
Move. After listening to that song, it’ll make you want to move. Go for a walk, lift some weights, run – just go outside and move. When you move, you feel better.
Help somebody. Being helpful to someone can make their day. In return, it makes your day. Whether you volunteer at a homeless shelter or help someone with their groceries, you’ve made a contribution to the goodness of the world.

Even though it can feel like it, you’re not the only one going through something. Don’t get stuck in that rut, or else you’ll become that negative person that no one wants to be around.

Everyday is a chance to do better. It may not get better all at once, but it’s those little everyday fights that win the big battle over time.

The Sky Is the Limit

Who knows where the sky ends? It keeps going on and on – it’s final destination does not exist. Therefore, it is limitless, meaning it is without limits.

Who would be crazy enough to put a limit on a beautiful creation, such as the sky?

Yet, we place limits on ourselves all the time. We even allow others to place limits on us.

The dangerous part is: we believe it and accept it as true. Then we live it.

Do you realize how much time is wasted believing in something that is absolutely not true?

Better yet, let’s not waste time thinking about that. It’s time to move on. Become who you are. That idea that’s been in your head all this time? Let’s do the research and see if it works.

The sky is the limit. Drink some water and think it through to action.

You don’t know what you are capable of, until you remove your limited way of thinking.

Let this be the last time you utter the words, “I can’t.”

There will always be someone there to push back on every idea and thought you have. Unless you’re around the right people, it’s best to keep those ideas and thoughts to yourself.

Get around those who want to see you thrive and succeed. Learn to believe in the positive support instead of the negative trash. Don’t choose to give your energy to the bad things others say, but give your energy to the greatness that you know you possess!

There’s always room for growth. We’re all great at something. Letting others put a cap on your abilities will mentally hold you back. Don’t listen to them, as they are reflecting their insecurities on you. Just because they didn’t do it, they want to tell you that you can’t do it.

That is not you. The sky is the limit. It can be achieved, but not if you have a limited mindset. Stop allowing other people to put their issues on you. Become self-aware and know who you are. Keep doing the work, whether you’re working on your personal growth or on an outside project.

Continue to do your best. The last thing you want to say in your old age is, “I wish I would have…”

The sky is the limit.

Plant Your Seed

We all think of things we should’ve done a long time ago. Ideas seem to come too late, or do they?

Thoughts and ideas don’t come late, we respond late. When you see something, do you say, “I had that idea 2 years ago!”? It happens to all of us.

You can be mad and stuck on the fact that someone else ‘stole’ your idea and put it out to the world, or you can take the next idea you have and begin working on it.

Often, we have thoughts and ideas and our immediate reaction is, “If this worked, someone would have done it already.” Maybe the world is waiting on you to do it.

Don’t allow your ideas to slip away. Now that we have the internet, we can easily do the research and put things together more easily than before. All you have to do is gather the information you need and start the process.

This doesn’t mean it will be easy. It means you will have access to clues and various material, which gives you the opportunity to figure it out. The rest is up to you.

Of course, if you do nothing, nothing will happen. There’s just the possibility of someone else taking the time and energy to make it work and putting out the same idea.

Don’t get mad, get started.

You have a real chance at making your idea come to fruition. If you begin today, imagine where your idea would be in 5 years. Even if it doesn’t work out, you made a conscious attempt at it. You’ll never have the mental burden of ‘what-if?’.

Put yourself in the mind of being 80 years old. What would be the things you wished you would’ve done? Whatever you come up with, that’s what you should do. As said before, if it doesn’t work out, you did make an honest effort.

Spare yourself the pain of regret. Plant your seed today. If it stays in your mind, it doesn’t happen. Give it the rain and sunshine it deserves. Make it happen by taking action and putting forth a sincere and intentional effort, today.

How To Hack Your Life For Awesome Results!

Sorry. There is no hack. No matter what they tell you, there is no magic pill or mathematical equation that will enhance your life.

You want to make your life better? Find your own hack. The same ‘hack’ doesn’t work for everybody.

What does work is being consistent. Moving forward. Not allowing your emotions to get in the way.

In order to hack your way to a better anything, there has to be constant progress. Being ‘all in’ one day and lazy the next couple of days does not promote movement. Even if you have to break it up into small chunks everyday, that’s more consistent than making three huge splashes every month. Big progress or little progress, you are responsible for making it move.

The biggest reason it doesn’t seem to be happening is because of excuses. When you want to have that awesome life, you have to put yourself on the next level. If you’re on a ‘good’ level, then to get to the ‘awesome’ level, you have to push harder – remaining on the same level won’t get you to where you want to be.

Going to the next level may be changing your surroundings or joining a new networking group. Or, you could put in more effort and expose your work to more people. Advancing to the next level doesn’t happen all at once, but do something different once a week or once a month that you haven’t done before.

When you level up, it encourages movement, and movement encourages growth.

People often get caught up in their emotions when it comes to working through challenges and obstacles. They are there for a reason. It’s not for you to stop, it’s for you to grow. Blaming and complaining doesn’t solve or help anything.

Be like a computer. When you search for something in the computer, the computer doesn’t say, “Sorry, not today. I’m too tired to search. Ask me again tomorrow. Girl, stop.” No, the computer gives you results. No talking back or smart comments involved. It’s purpose is to help you find the solution to whatever you’re looking for.

That’s how you face those tough challenges. Try it the next time something doesn’t go your way. Put your emotions and reactions aside and focus on finding a solution.

These may sound like several small hacks, but even these suggestions may not work for everyone. There is no ‘one hack fits all’. Find your own personal hack and make it work for you.

Excerpt From “Help! I’m Stuck” Book 2

How To Manage Your Mind, Defeat Distractions and Create Confidence

I distinctly remember in high school how I had tons of homework and after school activities. In order to keep up with everything, I had to either manage my time or simply quit. In my household, quitting was not an option.

These tasks kept me busy, but I had to develop a strategy to keep everything going smoothly. My mind was everywhere, not to mention peer pressure was at an all time high and that can totally mess with your self-esteem. These were situations that tested my skills as a person. I had never even heard of ‘personal development’ at this point in my life.

The good thing was that I had an awesome circle of friends. We all had a variety of schedules, yet, we handled them like pros because no one wanted to look like the weak link. It was a type of silent encouragement.

It was a sin to have nothing to do. If you weren’t studying for a test, you should be doing a project. If you weren’t doing a project, you should be busy with an after school activity. If not that, you should have a part-time job. There was always something to do.

There was no time for distractions. We were all busy, doing things to reach the next level.

Life After College

Upon graduating from college, things changed. I found a great job and had my own place, but then what? My friends were all in different places and we’re all in various stages of our lives (because everyone’s life isn’t as synchronized as it was in school). Some are still at home, some moved out of state, some like to party at night and sleep all day – everything is different.

Now, I have to really figure out what I like. Going to work and coming home with nothing to do but look forward to the next day at work wasn’t going to satisfy me. The nightlife can get tired pretty quickly, especially if that’s not your ‘thing.’ This is an experimental stage of life. It’s sink or swim. It’s all on you.

The Art of Doing Nothing

After awhile, I realized I was kind of just drifting along. My mind wasn’t being challenged, distractions became my friend and my confidence began to decrease. Everything became gray and redundant. Get up. Go to work. Come home. Watch TV. Eat dinner. Take a shower. Watch more TV. Fall asleep. Wash, rinse, repeat.

What do you do once you leave a place where all of your options are provided for you and now, that convenience is gone? It sounds great that you have all of this freedom, but what do you do with it? No one is there to give you a list of extracurricular activities to choose from for the next four months. Your life, literally, becomes your own.

The question becomes: what do you do and how do you continue to grow yourself into something greater? How do you challenge yourself when there is no one there to challenge you? How do you get back to being that productive, forward-thinking, active, courageous person?

Excerpt from the book, “The Goalden Lady Presents: Help! I’m Stuck: How To Manage Your Mind, Defeat Distractions and Create Confidence by S.R. Roberts

Reacting vs. Responding

Let’s talk about reactions and responses. When there’s a situation, are you the person who reacts or responds? Being a responder is better than being a reactor. Let’s look at the example:

On your way home from work, there is a car accident that happens right before your eyes. The cars collided head on and no one, in either vehicle, is moving. You race from your car to the scene and try to assess the situation. You have called for help. This accident looks pretty bad, but you are talking to the victims, keeping them calm. You let them know that help is on the way and ask if there is anything you can do to help. The dispatcher tells you to keep the victims still, as much as possible. You are communicating back and forth with the victims and letting them know that everything is under control. There is light conversation between you all, until the ambulance arrives. They take over and the police is asking what happened and you calmly tell them what you saw.

Or, the story could go like this:

On your way home from work, there is a car accident, right before your eyes. The cars collided head on and no one, in either vehicle, is moving. You race from your car to get a closer look. “Oh, no! Look at all the blood,” you scream as you run between the two cars. “This is so bad — this is really bad. OMG! I hope you don’t die!” you exclaim. Meanwhile, the victims in the cars are crying and upset, as you run around, having a holy fit. “Somebody call for help!” one of the victims scream. “Where’s my phone?! I think I lost my phone!” you continue as you scramble around the scene. Fortunately, someone passing by has called for help. When the ambulance arrives, the victims are so emotional and confused that it’s hard to see what has happened. The police asks you questions, but he has to calm you down first. After fifteen minutes of chaos, you are calm enough to tell what happened, but now, it has all become a blur…

Between both of these stories, which one reacted and which one responded?

In the first story, you responded. You were efficient and you kept the victims calm. Your focus was completely on them and how to help the situation. It turned out well for everyone, therefore, making for better results.

In the second story, you reacted. You were frazzled and the victims were even more frazzled, after you freaked out. Nothing was done to comfort the victims and you focused more on yourself. Even though the victims were hurt, you let your emotions explode out of control, which only made them feel worse. This is what happens when your emotions take over.

As you can see, when you respond, you manage to handle the situation. Your emotions took a back seat to what was going on and you maintained a sense of normalcy, for the victims’ sake.

When you reacted, it only enhanced an already bad situation. Your emotions ballooned and your focus went out of the window, if there was any to begin with. The accident was bad, but you didn’t make it any better by announcing how bad it was and how awful it looked.

Being focused is always a strength. When you respond in any situation, it makes it easier to deal with. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, it helps to remain calm and think things through.

Try not to overreact. It can be surprising when things happen out of the blue, but as in any situation, you must remain calm. This helps promote a productive outcome.

Next, with your emotions aside, figure out how to help. Keep your feelings to yourself, because it won’t make things better.

In most situations, the calmest person becomes the leader among everyone, simply because they are constructive and appear to be in control.

Excerpt from: The Goalden Lady Presents: Help! I’m Stuck: 10 Strategies To Push You Through To Achieving Success A Personal Development Series, Book 1 by S.R. Roberts

3 Things That Keep You From Taking Action

There are many things that can keep us from moving forward. In the process of meeting your goals, you should have an encouraging environment, healthy mindset and strong belief that you can do it, even when others say you can’t.

Environment. Your environment plays an intricate part in your personal development. The people around you can be critical. It’s easy to be pessimistic and insult others. People will put their insecurities on you and try to make you feel bad, but don’t fall for it. They actually wish they had the guts to do what you are doing. It takes the pressure off of them and places it on you.

Being in a supportive environment will definitely work in your favor. It will force you to level up and face your challenges head on. An encouraging environment allows your creativity to grow. As a result, you will grow as a person and you will reach your goals with confidence.

Stop getting ready to get ready. You have a bright idea and you plan to get started on it right away. Then, you think about what kind of research to do. You dwell on how you’re going to prepare so that everything turns out just right. The bright idea continues to live in your head.

The idea is there, but you’re not moving. You keep procrastinating and thinking. Thinking about it can only take you so far. At some point, you’re going to have to act upon your idea. Get out of your own way and do something to make the idea happen. It will live in your mind forever if you let it. Don’t be a great thinker, be a great action-taker.

Belief. The most important thing is believing in yourself. Others may not believe in you, but you have to bet on yourself. No one is going to trust your idea will happen until you make it happen. If you believe in yourself, you don’t waste time trying to convince other people to believe in you. Your work will speak for itself.

Learn to take a chance on yourself. Don’t wait for permission from someone else – give yourself permission. It’s your idea and you’re responsible for bringing it to light. Others will let you down, but if you believe in what you’re doing, you’ll have the courage to see it through.

These things can hinder your progress when working towards your goals. Make it happen by being around people who support you, take action and believe in the one person you know can do it – you. Stop looking to others for permission and just start. You got this.

Protect Your Conversation

When you have an ‘a-ha’ moment, you want to tell everyone. You’re thrilled and want to share how great your idea is and how you’ll go about your plan. As exciting as it is, everyone won’t share your enthusiasm.

Have you ever been around people who are Negative Nancy’s? No matter what you say, they will surely find a way to make pessimistic remarks. They’re always making snarky comments to bring you down.

If you know someone like this, why would you want to spend your time explaining your idea if you know they’re just going to shoot it down? They intentionally wait for happiness to shine, just so they can bring the rain. Talking to this person can damage your outgoing spirit, so don’t give them too much of your time. I wouldn’t share my hopes and dreams with someone like this.

Having those bright ideas should be an important moment for you. Share it with those who are encouraging and supportive. When you come across those obstacles, you’ll need someone in your corner to help push you forward – not someone that says, “I told you so.”

Be careful who you discuss your goals and dreams with. Talking to the wrong person will certainly kill your dream on the spot. That’s no good for you. You deserve a chance to see it through without any discouragement. You want to be around those who will help you expand and grow, not those who want you to remain stagnant.

Take control of your environment. Be around people that have the same drive as you. Limit your time with the Negative Nancy’s and Debbie Downers. Once you do this, your environment will create itself into a positive circle of optimism. You will be surrounded by forward moving people who encourage you and support your focus.

A plant can not thrive in polluted soil. It eventually becomes weak and stops growing. The weeds will take over and the plant will become part of it’s surroundings.

Change your environment. Be around people who will give you sunshine and rain to grow. Don’t let a bad element overtake you. Plant yourself among the growing element. Be mindful of who you share your bright ideas with. It could be the difference between you reaching your goal or your goal becoming a distant thought.

The Driver’s Seat

Photo by Samuele Errico Piccarini on Unsplash

When you’re young, you can’t wait to drive. The thought of having your own car and going anywhere you want to go becomes the most important thing in your life. This not only applies to driving, but it also applies to life.

Being in the driver’s seat is a big responsibility. You’re the one in control. If something happens, it could affect you and possibly others around you. Believe it or not, some days you may not even feel like driving, but like life, you have to drive to get to where you want to go.

As the driver of your life, you can go where ever you please. Your destination is in your hands. There will be bumps and potholes in the road, but you have to deal with them the best that you can. It may cause temporary damage to your car (life), but you need to deal with it if you want to go on.

Once your car has been fixed, you are more careful about those potholes. You may not be able to avoid them all, but you can avoid the same ones. In life, you learn from your mistakes. There will still be potholes you may not see, but if you hit one, you can handle it. You know how to avoid the same issues. When a new one arises, you have the determination to solve it.

If you want your car to last, you must maintain it. Doing things like washing your car, getting oil changes and rotating the tires are the simple things that will keep your car running efficiently. When you’re working towards your goal, there are things you can do to continue to be your best. You can read helpful books, exercise and eat right and manage your money wisely, among other things. Keeping up these simple maintenance routines will keep you on track.

While you’re driving, the car will automatically shift gears in order to go faster or slower. When things aren’t going your way, you will need to shift your gears and adjust and adapt to different circumstances. Whether it is an obstacle or an opportunity, have the flexibility to change your mind and go in a different direction, if need be. Even if you’re going in the wrong direction, know that you can turn around and take another route. Learn to shift your gears.

Being in the driver’s seat has it’s benefits. The potholes will come and most of the time, you won’t see them, but you have the mindset and skills to overcome it. When a car sits for a long time, it will not start. Don’t let that happen to you. Get up, keep moving and be open to new adventures on the road of life.

Making the Impossible Happen

It sounds impossible, right?

There’s a quote by Nelson Mandela along the lines of, “It’s always impossible until someone does it.” That someone could be you.

Why not? You have 24 hours. You have a brain. If you can put both of those to use, you’re in the “impossible is happening today” business.

We all have time, but we’re quick to say we don’t have enough of it. It has become the unquestionable excuse. If you look very hard, you’re sure to find more time somewhere.

You don’t always have to sleep for 10 hours every night. You don’t have to go to Happy Hour every Thursday after work. You don’t have to binge watch a different season every weekend. You don’t HAVE to do these things.

What you HAVE to do is manage your time better. Don’t say you don’t have time to start working on your goal, when you’re continuously doing things that don’t absolutely matter. Stop doing favors for others and start doing favors for yourself.

Put yourself first. The dreams that are in your head seem impossible. When you decide to contribute some time to them, you will begin to see how possible they are. Don’t just think about it, create a plan and get started.

If none of your friends are working towards their goals, it may be time to upgrade to a new level of friends. You’re comfortable as long as you stay with your old friends, but comfort is the enemy of growth. Being around a new element will force you to increase your performance.

Also, you have a brain. This means you have a mind. You’ve used your mind before, but now is the time to use it with intent. Think of what you want to do in life and move on it. If other people have done it, you definitely can do it, too – maybe even better.

Your mind is not only used to remember fun facts and enough information to pass a test, it can be used to create your future! Don’t listen to that negative internal chatter. If you can change your mind (which you can), you can change yourself and GROW.

Stop thinking you aren’t good enough. Change your mind and know you are good enough. You’re just as capable as anyone else. The only difference is, they know they can because they think they can. Give yourself the same advantage. Don’t wait on permission – you already have it.

Use your time and your mind wisely. By being aware of those overlooked conveniences, you can start doing the impossible. There is no such thing as impossible – you just haven’t done it yet.