July 2019 - The Goalden Lady

There’s Still A Chance

Your life has taken an unexpected turn. Everything seems like it’s going downhill. You feel like everything is spiraling out of control.

Get a hold of yourself. It looks bad, but you have the ability to handle it and push through. Change happens in everyone’s life, but we all have to be determined to figure it out.

Don’t Have A Pity Party

The first thing we tend to do is feel sorry for ourselves. We ask questions like, “Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why me?”

Those are the wrong questions to ask yourself, especially if it’s not in your control. Things happen and we take pity on ourselves and expect others to take pity on us, as well. Having a pity party does nothing for you or your situation.

It’s hard, but flip your perspective. Ask yourself, “How can I make this work for me? What can I do now that I’ve always wanted to do? How can this work in my favor?”

Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Another thing we tend to do is put ourselves down. Our self-esteem goes from 100 to zero.

We attempt to justify what happened by beating ourselves up and being critical. Putting yourself down only makes things worse, because now, you’re fighting against yourself, along with the situation.

It’s not you – change is inevitable. It’s going to happen when you least expect it. That doesn’t mean you have to fold and take it without fighting back. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can get up and move forward.

Be Resilient

Once you reach this point, it’s all or nothing. You can either decide to stay down, or you can take the necessary steps to begin making progress.

Don’t wait on anyone to encourage you – encourage yourself. Be your own hero and lift yourself up. Others may not be around during your tough time, so you have to depend on yourself to bounce back.

Be laser-focused. Ignore distractions. Work on building yourself up again. Bet on yourself because no one can do this part, but you.

You will run into more obstacles and challenges. It’s not going to be easy, but don’t let yourself fall into a vortex of negative thinking. The only way through it is to take action and do something about it.

You Will Find Your Way

Even when you’re going through all of this, you must control your emotions. You will want to quit. You will feel defeated, but know that you’re building your future.

Life can get overwhelming. When you feel this way, by all means, rest or take a break – just don’t make the mistake of staying there. It’s easy to get comfortable, so be careful – this is where most people get stuck.

Success may happen today – it may happen next week, or next year. You’ll never know if you quit. Keep going and continue to make adjustments along the way. You will find your way, but only if you stay the course.

If you have breath in your body and you wake up in the morning, there’s still a chance – the possibility is always there. Anything can happen, as long as you believe in yourself and keep moving forward.

#BeGoalden

How To Overcome The Fear Of Living

Living your best life is sometimes, an understatement. The majority of us live in a state of unconscious fear, simply because we aren’t living to our fullest potential.

You may get up every morning, get dressed, go to work and pay your bills, but that’s not living – that’s just holding on. That’s doing what you have to do to survive.

What about doing what makes you happy? If you could do anything and feel awesome about it every single morning, what would it be?

The Fear Of Living

Unfortunately, we all have (or have had) a fear of living. You’re afraid to bet on yourself. Other people’s judgment dictate your next move.

The fear of living is when you allow your friends to make decisions for you. It’s when you feel guilty because someone says, “You’ve changed.” These are just some of the ways that your outside environment causes you to pause, in your own life.

It’s human nature to want to be liked and accepted, but when it works against you, it’s time to switch your perspective on how you look at things.

Recognize The Fear…

Take off the mask. It’s time to be brutally honest with yourself and become self-aware.

Are you doing certain things so others will like you? If that’s the case, you’re doing it for the wrong reason. Get some confidence, decide what you like and go do it.

Even if your parents are pushing you in a certain direction, if you don’t like it, it’s time to speak up. You are capable of thinking for yourself and knowing that you enjoy. Don’t let anyone take that gift away from you.

When you realize that fear, you can act on it. The only thing that cures fear is taking action. As long as you are giving away your attention, you will be under someone else’s control.

…And Get Over It

There’s a saying that goes:

Get it over with. Then, get over it.

We punish ourselves mentally by holding on to something we need to let go of. It could be a mistake that we made or something wrong that we did. Whatever it is, get over it.

Also, we put too much energy into worrying. We think over and over again about what if something goes wrong. It hasn’t happened yet, so get it over with. Then, get over it.

There’s a likely chance that things could go right, but we never worry about that. Stop beating yourself up over what hasn’t happened and do your best. If it doesn’t turn out the way you expected, get over it. Keep going and do your best next time.

Worrying and anxiety is a form of fear and it keeps us from living and doing our best. When you worry and have anxiety, you’re stealing the present moment away from yourself. You can only live and do your best with what you have in the moment.

Live Today

How long are you going to listen to others instead of listening to yourself? When are you going to actually do what makes you happy without feeling guilty because someone else doesn’t like it?

Take action and start working towards your dream. Everyone’s journey is exclusively their own. Don’t let anyone tell you how to walk in your own shoes. Your potential is infinite. Put forth your effort to reach it – step by step, day by day.

Your life and your experiences are tailored to you. As you begin to overcome your fear of living, your very own life will unfold and you will have no regrets.

#BeGoalden

Thoughtful Conversation Is Easier Said, Than Done

Having good conversation is a lost art. Today, it’s like a game – you can only win if you talk over someone or if you keep a useless argument going.

It’s easy to talk a good game. Whatever comes to your mind, you just let it out. You become an instant authority on that subject…or so you think.

Thoughtless Conversation

Sometimes, we go around repeating what others have said because it sounds good. We have no knowledge of what we’re really talking about. No personal research has been conducted and no subjects have been tested.

Our mind tends to follow a conversation, not really listening, but waiting for an opportunity to chime in, just so we can be heard. It doesn’t matter if what we say is incorrect, it just matters that we ‘participated’ in the game and that’s a waste of time.

Stop saying things just to be heard. Have thoughtful conversation. There’s nothing worse than someone contributing half thoughts to a conversation where others are having intentional discussions.

Thoughtful Conversation

Conversations vary. They can be about anything interesting to either party. Instead of listening and actually considering what is being said, we tend to wait our turn.

When talking to someone, you should make an effort to actively listen. Don’t just wait for them to stop talking – ask them questions. Make suggestions based upon what they said. Participate with the intention of learning something.

Having meaningful conversation is fulfilling. No one likes small talk, but it can lead to a deeper connection. People actually crave to have stimulating discussions.

What Leads To An Interesting Discussion?

Discussing the weather can only get you so far. Don’t be afraid to ask someone about their goals, or their past travel experiences. You’ll be surprised at what you find out.

As long as it’s about their experiences and about the future, it’s okay to ask those types of personal questions. Getting too personal may swing the conversation in a negative direction.

Speaking about goals and expectations of the future will lead to interesting conversation. People have ideas that you may have never thought of and it’s helpful. Expanding your mind is always a good thing. You may even find a way around a challenge you’ve been dealing with.

Think Before You Speak

Some people cringe at having conversations with strangers, because some people don’t think before they speak and things get weird real quick.

If you’re uncomfortable where the conversation is going, steer it back to a safer place. Learn to change the subject, while still being respectful.

You may be that person who makes the discussion uncomfortable, so think before you speak. Your discussion should reflect the type of environment you’re in. If you’re at a school event, talk about something involving education. If you’re at a health retreat, talk about self-care or wellness.

Appreciating Great Conversation

The next time you’re waiting in the grocery line or at a conference, attempt to start a meaningful discussion. Some people are open to talking to strangers and possibly making new friends.

The art of great conversation still exists, we just need to learn how to apply it in our daily lives. Not only does it feed your mind, but it gives you confidence to be yourself in any situation.

The next time someone speaks to you, instead of giving basic answers, actively listen and get into the flow of the discussion. It could create a new avenue in your life.

#BeGoalden

Emotional Discipline

Having emotional discipline is important. Anyone can say anything to push your buttons, but you must recognize when they are doing so, in order to respond accordingly.

This is what catches most people off guard. They get so wrapped up in what others are saying, that they quickly react without thinking. Before they know it, the situation grows out of control.

When you have discipline over your emotions, it allows you to think from a calm place. You can respond instead of reacting, while your mental energy remains intact.

Some Things Don’t Deserve A Response

Realize that no response, is a response. There are some things that don’t deserve your emotional energy.

If you react to everything that happens to you, your energy will be wasted. You will tire yourself out mentally before the day is over with.

Pick your battles. Learn to stay calm and respond from a place of peace. Everything doesn’t deserve your power or acknowledgement. As soon as you give in and react, it’s out of your hands – they win.

Responding vs. Reacting

Some may think that responding and reacting are the same thing, but they carry different meanings.

Reacting is when you answer back to something instantly – it’s your first reaction to what someone has said or done to you.

The first reaction is not always the best reaction. When someone criticizes you, you instantly want to criticize them back. Now, you are in their control because you’ve given your power to them by reacting.

When you respond, you take a second to think. If someone criticizes you, you either ignore them or quietly reply with a smile. It shows that you are not bothered and no matter what they say or do, you won’t stoop down to their level.

When you are in charge of your emotions, you maintain your sense of control. As soon as someone can get you to react, they are in command of the situation.

You Don’t Have To Win Every Argument

Believe it or not, there are some people who like to argue, just for the sake of arguing. It’s like a sport – whatever you say, they will say the opposite, just to spark a reaction.

When we get into heated debates and arguments, our immediate objective is to win. We have to prove ourselves and show that we are right and they are wrong.

When you come across people who like to play ‘devil’s advocate’ for sport, let them win, or don’t participate at all. They will not let go and it will drain the energy right out of you. When they’re done, they walk away with a smile, while you are left feeling defeated, for no good reason.

Discipline Yourself

You may not have the ability to control others, but you can surely control yourself.

Remember, you don’t want to give up your control to anyone else through letting go of your emotions. Letting others successfully push your buttons is a way to break your emotional discipline.

Remain calm and hold your position. Know that some people will say things just to make you angry, but you don’t have to accept their foolishness. Learn to let it go and keep your mental energy in a positive place.

#BeGoalden

You Know What To Do, So What’s The Hold Up?

Why do we have to trick ourselves into building habits and reaching our goals? There’s a hack for almost everything, but deep down inside, you know you can do it without all of the bells and whistles.

Our ancestors didn’t need hacks to do anything. It was a matter of life or death and they just did it. Have we become so lazy that we need incentives and tricks to force us to do everything?

Making The Right Decision

You know what you need to do. Making it pretty and convincing shouldn’t keep you from achieving the end result. Stop looking for ways to make it easier and just do it.

If you know you need to lose weight, lose it. There’s really no need to join a weight program. Some people do it for the social aspect of it, but essentially, you can lose weigh on your own.

We’ve become soft. We want someone to hold our hands and tell us that everything will work out and be okay. We want someone to tell us how proud they are of us for showing up 3 days in a row.

Ultimately, you make the decision to lose the weight. It’s nice to have a partner who is holding you accountable, but it’s not necessary. In most cases, it only makes you more dependable on them and not yourself.

It Doesn’t Need To Be Pretty And Right

So what if you did it wrong? As long as you’re still breathing, you have another chance to do better.

Taking action beats perfection. Perfection is a form of procrastination and it will keep you in the same place for long periods of time.

It’s like when you are writing and you’re afraid to hit publish. Why? Because you’re scared of what others will think and say. It doesn’t ‘feel’ right.

You don’t need to go through a 12 step program in order to hit the publish button. Yes, it’s scary, but what’s the worst thing that could happen? You never know who will gain value from reading what you wrote. Even if you gain a couple of trolls, that just means you’re doing it right because they’re paying attention.

You Already Know What To Do

Whatever it is you need to do, you already know the steps to accomplish it. The challenge is in your mind and starting.

Continuing with the weight example, you know the consequences of not eating healthy. For some reason though, you feel you need a pretty little app to get started and a weekly group to report to.

Have faith in yourself – you already know what to do! Stop overthinking and depending on other little gadgets and groups to pull you through. Don’t make it hard on yourself. There’s no need to pay $50 a month for someone to tell you something that you already know how to do.

It’s All On You

In the end, it’s all on you and the actions you decide to take. In your heart of hearts, you know what needs to be done, but your mind has to make the connection to the activity, in order to achieve the result.

We encounter many distractions and it’s difficult to find our own thoughts and think for ourselves. It’s easy to go along with someone else’s idea, but what about your idea? What do you think?

It’s nice to have an accountability partner and join groups that help us get to the next level. Having that support can make things easier to handle and accomplish, but it holds you back when you begin to depend on it to reach your goals.

It’s Like Riding A Bike

When you learn to ride a bike, there’s someone there to guide you and hold your seat so you won’t fall. Once you gain your confidence, they let go and you can ride on your own. Even if you fall every now and then, you know how to get back on and ride again. There’s no need for them to hold your seat again, because you know what to do.

Later in life, when you’re older, do you look for that person to hold your seat? No, because you know how to do it on your own. You can have bike buddies who ride along with you, but you are also capable of riding by yourself.

It’s the same with life. There are times when we need guidance and for someone to show us how it’s done, but when you learn it, you can go on by yourself without needing and depending on them all the time.

You don’t need other people like you think you do. Bet on yourself. You can do this. You’ll be surprised at the great amount of progress you can make independently.

Today, choose one thing that you will do by yourself, without relying on someone else. You know what to do – do it and make progress with your life.

#BeGoalden

Does A Vision Board Really Work?

There are many apps and tools you can use to enhance your outlook on your life and goals – but does a vision board really work?

It does take dedication, focus and consistency, but will a vision board help you realize your goals any faster?

A vision board is created to help you see your potential future. The idea is that if you see it, you will work towards achieving those results.

What’s In A Vision Board?

A vision board contains various pictures and sayings, representative of your thoughts and ideas. If you want to be an astronaut, put it on the board. If you want to make lots of money, put it on the board. Whatever it is that you see yourself becoming in the future, cut it out and put it on the board.

This helps to tie your thoughts and ideas into your actions. It makes the connection that you should be doing something beneficial in order to get closer to your future on a a daily basis.

There are many things that you can display, but be sure it is unique to you. Don’t just paste anything on there, be specific and clear. This is your sacred vision, so treat it as such.

What Does A Vision Board Do?

After you create your very own vision board, you should feel productive. You should have a positive and optimistic outlook on your destiny.

When you see your vision board, it should motivate you to do the little things that contribute to the bigger picture. When you glance at it in passing, you should feel inspired and encouraged, even when distractions are present. It should give you confidence and push you to do a little more.

Most of all, it helps you to stick to a plan. It keeps your goals in the front of your mind, as opposed to thinking about them every two weeks and allowing it to slip your mind.

Does It Really Work?

Like anything else, a vision board will work, but only if you work with it.

Some people don’t believe in vision boards, but there are others who have seen results. It can really work, but you have to put it to good use and use it to your advantage.

If you put it in the closet, more than likely, it won’t work – out of sight, out of mind. In order to get the best outcome, place it where you can easily see it everyday and allow your mind to see the future you.

Also, it will take time. Don’t expect your ultimate future to happen within the next three days, just because you created an awesome vision board. The more you see it, the more you will unconsciously begin to work towards your goals. Get used to seeing yourself where you want to be.

What Are You Waiting For?

Start creating your vision board – whatever you imagine, or the thoughts that you think everyday, put it on the board!

See your inspiration daily. You are responsible for the direction of your life. Take control and use your vision board as a tool to get to where you want to be. Not only will it give you the energy and motivation you need to succeed, but it will also serve as a constant reminder of who you are capable of becoming.

#BeGoalden

How To Be Happy Without Feeling Guilty

We’ve been conditioned to feel anxiety or stressed whenever situations happen in our lives. Even if it’s something good that makes you happy, instead of being grateful or feeling joy, we feel like it isn’t enough.

Let me be the one to tell you right now: you have a right to be happy. There’s nothing wrong with feeling content or being excited about your future, even if others aren’t.

Be Happy On The Inside

Finding your inner happiness is important – it doesn’t work unless you find it, first.

How do you find your happiness? Think about what you are grateful for. It’s the little things that bring you joy – a blossoming flower, a laughing child or drinking cold water on a hot day.

How you feel about yourself plays a huge role – think of three things that you love about yourself. Don’t think of how much weight you want to lose or if you’re having a bad hair day. Simply think of what makes you feel good.

Yes, it’ll take some effort because we’re used to seeing the bad before we see the good. See the good in yourself for a change and take that with you throughout the day. Be happy about the person you are growing into.

Be Happy On The Outside

Often, we depend on others to make us happy. If someone is having a bad day, we carry that weight as if it were our own. If you make a mistake, it bothers you all week. You don’t have to do that.

Don’t let things that happen in your environment determine how you should feel. Of course, something could always go wrong, but you don’t have to give in to that negativity. Shift your perspective and find some joy.

Your life isn’t controlled by what’s going on around you. Remember, you have a choice to be happy. Do a random act of kindness to inspire the rest of your day – it’s hard to feel bad when you’ve done something good for a stranger.

Life Is Too Short

Get out of that rut and find your happiness! You don’t have to go around smiling all the time – you’re not trying to show that you are happy. Your goal is to feel happy.

Your life is in your hands. Are you going to waste time being down and stressed out because you watched the news? Or are you going to take advantage of the fact that you have a choice to be happy?

Life happens. You can choose to live it in the dark or you can live it in the light. Everything is not sunshine and rainbows, but be mindful of those moments where you can find peace and be delighted.

It’s easy to fall into discouragement and misery when nothing is happening, but again, don’t let the outside forces control the rest of your day. With all of the distractions going on, it’s hard to find some joy, but it’s still your choice and your responsibility.

Never Feel Guilty About Your Happiness

There will be times when you’re having a great day and someone says something negative to you. People will make you feel guilty about being happy and try to spoil your good mood.

Don’t let anyone steal your joy. You are responsible for your own happiness and they are responsible for theirs. You are not obligated to make other people feel good about themselves – that’s something we all have to learn how to do on our own.

Know that you deserve to be happy. If someone else isn’t happy, it’s not your fault. Taking on other people’s emotions as your own seems sympathetic, but sometimes, we allow it to consume us and it’s not our issue to deal with.

Let’s not forget that you have your own dragons to slay. In the midst of it all, you can still find your peace of mind. Being angry along with someone else only takes away from your positive vibes. Be sympathetic, but don’t feel guilty about your happiness.

We all strive for happiness and it comes to us at different times. When you get it, you must allow yourself to feel it for as long as you can. Tomorrow is not promised and you shouldn’t waste it, just because someone else may be having a bad day.

Make the decision to be happy from the moment you wake up. Find three things that you are proud of about yourself and take that with you. Throughout your day, identify the small things that bring you joy and live in that moment. Most of all, don’t let the outside influence how you feel on the inside.

#BeGoalden

If You Can Make A Decision, You Can Be Unstoppable

If You Can Make A Decision, Then You Can Be Unstoppable

If you can make a decision, you can be unstoppable. Most times, what keeps us stuck is being indecisive and being indecisive will take years off of your life.

What are you afraid of? What holds you back from discovering your potential? If ‘bad’ decisions wasn’t a factor, what would you do?

Make The Decision Simple

Whether it’s an easy decision, or a difficult decision, you must learn to be at peace with what you decide. We often torture ourselves mentally by trying to come up with the ‘right’ answer.

If you look at a situation as black or white, yes or no, left or right, it should be easy, but this is where some of us get stuck.

When making a decision, make it as simple as possible. Yes, something may happen that you didn’t want to happen as a result, but don’t beat yourself up over it. Learn the lesson and move on.

Don’t Let It Become A Distraction

Some decisions may call for deep thought, but even then, it should be made simple and plain. Know that whatever you decide is okay and it’s not the end of the world.

You are making the best choice possible. If something happens unexpectedly as a result, all you can do is turn around and do it better the next time.

Don’t get hung up on how you should’ve known better, or how you didn’t have all the facts – justifying a bad decision won’t change the outcome. Being hard on yourself doesn’t enhance your decision-making skills.

Get used to narrowing down your options. Too many details can cloud your thinking and cause further confusion. Focus on what’s important and how it will affect you.

You’ll Make The Wrong Decision

Our decisions are not perfect. All of the choices we make won’t lead us in the right direction, but nevertheless, you should learn from it.

If you make the wrong decision, don’t be hard on yourself – it happens to everyone. See it as an opportunity to learn what to do next time.

Sometimes, the wrong decision can lead you on an unexpected adventure. Things could possibly turn out better than if you would’ve made the right decision. Either way, accept it and make the best of it.

The Responsibility Is Yours

When things don’t turn out the way we want them to, our first instinct is to blame someone or something else.

Blaming others only makes things worse, because now, the focus has been shifted to pointing the finger at someone else. It becomes difficult to move on when everyone is trying to find the right person to blame.

When you claim responsibility, it gives the situation closure and it gives direction. You may not want to accept the blame, but sometimes, it’s just necessary in order for everyone to move forward.

Instead of worrying about making the right decision, just make a decision. Don’t waste time thinking about it for too long, or else you’ll look up and it’ll be next week.

Trust yourself and know that you have your best interest at heart. Even if it’s not what you expected, take responsibility for it and do better the next time around.

Why Consistency Is Key

Consistency is key when it comes to making progress in life. The daily habits you develop play a major role in being consistent and can help with making incremental improvements over time.

Why is consistency so important? What happens if you don’t follow a certain pattern everyday? Will consistency enhance your life?

Daily Habits

We all have different daily habits that help move our day along. We perform most of these patterns unconsciously and it provides a foundation for the rest of the day.

Habits, such as brushing your teeth and taking a shower, are things you do from a necessity standpoint. If you weren’t consistent with these things, no one would want to be around you. Hygiene habits are critically important.

Other habits, such as folding your clothes or writing down your expenses, are things you choose to do to keep organized. No one has to do these, but it helps you on a personal level and allows you to promote your own development.

Consistency Has It’s Benefits

Being consistent naturally falls in line with your habits. Since you do them everyday, you’re already consistent with them.

Imagine if you didn’t brush your teeth everyday. What would happen? It definitely wouldn’t be in your best interest personally and it could lead to possible health issues. The fact that you brush your teeth consistently, is beneficial to the people around you and your health.

When folding your clothes, you are prepping for when you have to choose your outfit for the day. If you didn’t fold your clothes, you could waste time looking for something you need, as opposed to knowing where it is and putting it on right away. When you’re organized, you can focus on more important things and avoid draining your energy on the simple things.

The Power Of Consistency

Having a habit of consistency enhances your life, especially when you have productive habits.

If you exercise on a daily basis, you’ll see and feel the results throughout your body. Not only will you look good, you’ll feel good. This is a powerful habit that leads to being physically healthy, along with other advantages.

When you develop a habit and you’re consistent with it, you’re ahead of the game. Others who aren’t consistent with their good habits will have a harder time becoming more productive and won’t enjoy the perks from being consistent.

It’s a win – win situation. The more consistent you are with your good habits, the more progress you will make in your life.

The Key To Being Consistent

Don’t overwhelm your mind with how hard something is – if you do, it will seem hard and you won’t even begin.

The key to being consistent is to keep going. Start small and take action everyday. As time goes on, you will become better and it will allow you to put your mind power towards accomplishing your goals.

Consistency also helps with your confidence and puts you on another level. Because you take the time to enhance yourself on a regular basis, your confidence will rise, which prepares you for the next level of your life.

Unless you practice being consistent with the productive habits in your life, you will remain stagnant. Growth doesn’t happen where consistency is absent.

Develop some good habits and don’t allow any distractions to get in the way. You’ll soar beyond your potential when you continue to be consistent with the good, productive habits in your life.

#BeGoalden