It sounds kind of harsh, but in order to make any progress, you have to let something go.
Reflection is necessary and it should be done. Take time to look back and see how you can improve on the upcoming year. The issue is, sometimes, we can reflect a little too long and stay there as we’re going into 2019.
More time should be spent on planning for 2019, as opposed to reflecting on 2018. Since 2018 is almost gone, it won’t do any good to stay in reflection for too long. Don’t let the past keep you there.
Go for 2019. Get out of your comfort zone (2018) and step into the New Year with confidence. You’ve reflected enough. You know what you need to do.
If you don’t know, then do this: Pick something from the categories of mindset, health and wealth.
For example, you may want to work on your focus (mindset), eat cleaner (health) and save more money (wealth).
Now, let’s get more specific. You want to have deep focus without giving in to distractions while you’re writing your book. You want to eat at least one plant-based meal per day. You want to save at least 10% of your paycheck, every pay period.
That’s how you begin 2019. If it didn’t happen in 2018, let it go and start now. Don’t make it harder than it has to be.
Everyday is a chance at a new opportunity. Don’t get stuck looking back.
When the unthinkable happens, it’s hard to let it go in your mind. The loss of a job, a loved one or having anxiety can all trigger that one, go-to emotion…
Fear.
Doubt sets in. Worry takes over. Panic ensues. It’s the natural path your mind takes when you attempt to gain control of a situation.
How many times have you wanted to try something, but doubt enters your mind and you slowly let it go? How many times have you worried about something and in the end, you felt like you wasted time thinking about it because everything turned out fine? How many times have you automatically thought the worst of a situation and began to panic out of habit?
Fear is natural when you’re running from danger, but it’s learned when you use it as a ‘first response’ emotion when it comes to facing challenges and obstacles.
Faith, on the other hand, is knowing that you can handle whatever situations arise. It doesn’t cloud your vision or destroy your life. Some way and some how, you just know that things will be fine.
Some people think that faith works on it’s own. If you believe it, it will happen. Well, that’s partially right, but that’s not exactly how it works.
Faith is believing. As with anything, it starts in your mind, but it doesn’t stop there. You have to put in the work to push it through.
Don’t have faith and just stop. Have faith and then, do the work.
The Goalden Lady
The situation you’re going through may be scary, but would you rather carry that anxiety around with you, or have faith and help make it better?
Putting in the work behind faith is necessary. Your mind is doing the mental part of believing and you must do the physical part of taking action. Faith doesn’t work well alone, but when you put forth the effort and energy to make it happen, you’ll get the results you were looking for.
How do you put faith over fear? First, the cure to fear, is action. Even if you are afraid to take action, that’s the only way you’re going to conquer fear. Acknowledge the fear and move forward. If it doesn’t physically harm you, do it.
Secondly, if action cures fear, then all you need to do now is have faith along with the action. Buy that house, ask him out, speak to the crowd. No matter how big or small, do it scared and make progress in the right direction. Do it enough times and you won’t be scared anymore – you’ll be able to help others on how to do it, too.
Having faith doesn’t guarantee that everything will go your way, even if you do take action. Obstacles will come up and test you and your fear will speak to you. This is not a sign to stop, but a sign to work through it and keep going. There is something better for you on the other side.
Keep working on it. If you stop at the first sign of defeat, it’ll never happen.
Have faith over your fear. Staying in the same position in your life just because you are afraid to move forward will get you absolutely no where. Your potential is limitless. When unexpected situations happen, fear will keep you complacent, but faith will carry you through.
After all of the holiday feasts and family get-togethers, what’s next?
Usually, this is the time where people start to get into their New Year’s plans and resolutions. Year after year, it’s the same pattern.
There’s nothing wrong with a little tradition, but how about making a new personal development tradition?
No one has to know, but you. There are some people who get a little weird when you mention self-help or personal development, but if you have a supportive circle of friends, you can all do it together.
Here’s the big question you want to answer: “Where do I see myself, this time, next year?”
It may sound like another way to create a resolution, but this is for life, not just a few months. This involves your mindset, health, and wealth.
We are capable of working on more than one thing at a time. There’s a time to focus on all three at different times throughout the day.
In the morning and at night, focus on your mindset. When you wake up in the morning, guide your mind into positive thoughts. Think about what you want to accomplish that day and how it will successfully unfold. In the evening, think about how your day went and how you can improve or make it better. Read something that inspires you to be your best. This will set into your subconscious before you fall asleep and gear your thoughts towards positive action.
Before you have a meal, focus on your health. Don’t overthink your eating habits. Plain and simple, eat food that will give you energy and avoid food that makes you feel tired. We all know what’s not good for us, so to start, make a change with every meal. Switch out a slice of cake for an orange, or potato chips for celery. It may be a far stretch from what you’re used to, but start small to work your way towards better eating habits. It’s hard to do because some food tastes really good, but think about your future. You have nothing without good health.
Mind your money and watch your wealth. It seems like every wealthy person always had money, but some of them had to start from the bottom. Pay yourself first, with every paycheck. This doesn’t mean buy things and have a great time, it means put money aside for emergencies. Living paycheck to paycheck is stressful and painful. Help yourself by setting aside a set amount every time you get paid. Make it a habit. It may seem small at first, but over time, it builds up into a good amount. Now, when you have an emergency, you don’t have to wait for the next paycheck and put off other bills to accommodate it – you’ll already have it to fix the problem.
This is just a start to many things you can do towards your personal development. The biggest challenge is to actually start.
Everyone always starts on a Monday or on New Year’s Day, but you can start in the middle of the week if you want to. The “I’ll start on Monday” excuses will trickle down to the end of the year if you let it.
The only way you will achieve any goal, is to start. It doesn’t have to be a parade before you start, just do it! The next meal you have, pick a healthy substitution for one thing on your plate. The next time you’re in the car, listen to a podcast involving your goal. The next time you get your change back from a purchase, collect the change in a jar (if you’re using a debit card, have your bank put the extra change into a savings account for you).
It doesn’t matter, just start! Excuses will only keep you in the same place, this time next year.
Make a commitment to yourself. The best investment you can make is in your self improvement. Once that becomes a daily habit, everything else will fall into place. You’ll be a better version of yourself, this time, next year and for years to come.
Have you ever tried to please someone and they didn’t seem to appreciate it? Or maybe you went out of your way to help them get to a better place, but they ended up right back where they started?
You feel unappreciated and used. You say you’ll never get involved again, but it somehow pulls you back in. Your emotions are all in it, but it has nothing to do with you. If that sounds familiar, you may be an emotional hostage.
“I went out of my way to help her and she didn’t even say thank you!”
“She could’ve at least acknowledged what I did for her!”
“He went right back out and did it again, after I bailed him out for the second time!”
If you’re looking for a response from the people you help, you might not ever get it. All they see is what they’re doing from their perspective, not yours.
No matter how many times you help them, they will not truly appreciate what you do for them. It seems selfish on their part, but try to be more understanding, than critical.
Would it make you feel better if they did acknowledge you? Would that change the situation? It may feel better at the moment, but deep inside, you want them to change – you want them to do what you suggest.
You are in control of yourself. You can not control what others do or how they think.
You have to meet people where they are and accept them for who they are.
People will not change until they are ready. You can not speed up that process for them. If you offer them help, do it with no strings attached. Stop expecting something in return.
After you offer your help, let it go. Do not get emotionally attached to their problems. Do not carry this weight because it’s not your weight to carry. Don’t allow them to hold you hostage to their situation.
It’s hard to watch someone learn things the hard way. The only thing you can do is help when you can and try to be patient with what they’re going through.
Yes, it’s your time and resources that you’re giving up to assist them, but they don’t owe you anything (ouch).
That’s a hard statement to hear. Just because we help someone doesn’t give us the right to tell them what they should do and how they should live. It feels like we should have every right, but we don’t. When someone is in trouble, help them out of the kindness of your heart. It gives you no more power over them than you had before.
Recognize that it’s their life, not yours. You want them to travel the straight and narrow, but they won’t . You want them to eat healthy, but they won’t. You want them to stop fooling around, but they won’t. At this point, you’re only abusing yourself.
As concerned as you may be with this person’s situation, detach yourself. You will only cause yourself heartache, anxiety and sadness. It’s not your battle to fight.
It’s fine to make yourself available, but you can not change them. Yes, help as much as you can, but don’t expect them to turn over a new leaf immediately. They have to see things for themselves – it’s not up to you, it’s up to them. Support them, but not at your emotional expense.
There may come a time where you will have to detach yourself completely. Don’t be their safety net anymore. You have your own life to live. Free yourself from being their emotional hostage.
Situations like these occur in relationships, addictions, and in many other aspects of life. Everyone learns things at different times. The best thing you can do for anyone is be supportive. They will see it in their own time.
The year is winding down. There are only a couple of weeks left until the New Year. Everyone will begin to think about their goals and resolutions.
What about the goals from this year? Did you complete some of them or all of them? How can you effectively move on to new plans without completing your current plans?
This is the time of year where everyone starts to begin making plans for next year. We skip the record and go straight to the end. How about finishing this year, first?
Don’t let up on what you have going on this year. Finish this year strong, so that we can have an amazing start to next year. First, we have to close this year out, successfully…
Have a year-end review. How did things turn out? Were your goals too big or too small? Did you feel comfortable reaching them or was it too difficult? These are important factors to consider when making plans for next year’s goals. Maybe you can go a little harder or you could create more time to dive into your plan. Be strategic when preparing your objectives.
Keep up the momentum. “There’s only two weeks left, I’ll take it easy…” This is where you want to work your hardest. Towards the end, we tend to slow down because we see the finish line. Keep pushing with the same (or more) energy you’ve been working with. Just because it’s close to the end doesn’t mean you’ll automatically finish victoriously.
Build next year’s goals with intent. Goals should be broken down into more achievable pieces. This way, you won’t get too overwhelmed with the process and you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment. Continue to structure your plan according to the end goal. Don’t give up in the middle and have to start over. Even if you didn’t reach the goal, keep it going into next year. It may be the year it all comes together!
Remember, taking your foot off the pedal and cruising into next year doesn’t serve you in any way. Review what you’ve done, make adjustments and keep moving with dynamic strength.
Don’t allow time to sneak up on you and get away by slowing down. Use it with purpose and dedicate yourself to the end result.
If anything, be more persistent as the end draws near. You may be closer to your results than you think.
The concept of ‘real time’ is doing something as it happens or at the moment it occurs.
It seems like we live in ‘real time,’ but most of us really don’t. How can you not live in ‘real time’ while you are actually living?
Some people put things off, therefore, real time is delayed time. Procrastination at it’s best.
For people who never have enough time to exercise or eat right or spend time with their kids, etc., that’s absolutely not true.
You can find time – it’s always there. What you want to do, you’ll find time for- you can make time for anything.
Understandably, when you’re at work, you can’t just stop and do the things you want to do – but what about those moments when you can?
When you’re at home and you’re eating a bag of chips, your mind says, “Maybe I should eat an apple…”. In ‘real time’ you would put down the chips and eat the apple, but instead, you choose to ignore that thought.
That’s how living in ‘real time’ works.
When you’re binge-watching your favorite show and you think, “I need to write an outline for my paper…” stop watching it and create the outline for your paper. That’s ‘real time’ living.
We all know what we should do in out minds, but we seem to make the choice to ignore those hints. When we see others who are successful, we complain, “I could be successful like that, but I didn’t have time.”
The difference between you and them is that they listened to those mindful hints and applied it in ‘real time’. They acted upon those thoughts in ‘real time’.
They didn’t say, “Let me finish eating this ice cream first, then I’ll eat healthy,” or “I’m gonna sleep in – it’ll be there when I wake up, it’s not going anywhere.”
As you can see, living in ‘real time’ takes discipline and effort. Sometimes, we’d rather do what we want to do, rather than what we need to do.
Living in ‘real time’ accomplishes goals. You can’t be lazy and expect to achieve what you want – it takes ‘real time’ habits.
When you think it, do it – that’s all there is to it. Before you binge-watch your favorite show, get all of the ‘real time’ tasks and responsibilities out of the way, first. Then you can enjoy your shows with a sense of completion and fulfillment.
It’s been said that you can’t help the type of environment you were born into, but it is your fault if you stay there.
Some people are born into a negative environment. Whether it influences you mentally or physically, recognize that you have the ability to rise to a new level.
If you can fix your mental environment, eventually, your physical environment will change for the better, also.
It can be difficult to overcome pessimistic surroundings, but keep in mind, no one is coming to save you. You have to learn how to turn the negative into a positive, in order to be successful.
People in your environment may gossip, watch TV all day, or waste time worrying about things they can’t control. Give yourself a chance to exceed this type of mentality.
Just because you are around it, doesn’t mean you have to succumb to it’s negativity.
There are ways you can improve your mental environment. Here are a few recommendations:
Listen to a podcast. Nowadays, you’re not stuck listening to whatever’s playing on the radio. You can listen to any type of content that you like. There are literally thousands to choose from. Search for something that speaks to what you want to do or how you want to be. Even though there is a huge variety to choose from, don’t get caught up listening to the wrong thing. The point is to listen to words that can motivate you to live your dream.
Watch YouTube videos that strengthen your mind. Like podcasts, there are many videos you can choose from. If you’re interested in plant-based foods, there’s a beginner’s video for that. If you’re interested in learning how to integrate a certain software with another, there’s a specific video for that. There is so much to learn with YouTube videos – make it your personal video library.
Join a group. Involving yourself with a group can be encouraging and motivating. There are many select interest groups that have members where they can help you or you can help others with different challenges. You can even lurk around in the group until you feel comfortable with participating. Avoid groups where the members are negative – you want to be among like-minded individuals, who hold the same interests and goals as you do.
Escaping a bad environment is hard enough, but if you can protect your personal space with positivity, it’s very much worth the effort.
Listening to podcasts and watching videos are things you can do independently of others. No one has to know what you’re listening to or watching – it can be done without anyone volunteering their opinion.
Joining groups or masterminds involve other people. Some may be ‘know-it-alls’ or Negative Nancy’s. Don’t give in to those types – there are other people who are very helpful and can offer guidance and insight within the group. Stick with those types and ignore the others who may just want attention or be a negative leader.
Technology has provided us with so many options to be better in this day and age, the least we could do is take advantage of the best of it. If not, be prepared to be left behind in just about every aspect of life, because it is everywhere.
If you improve your mental environment, your physical environment will eventually follow suit. In today’s world, there is no excuse to not become who you are meant to be.
How many times has it crossed your mind that you think you’re not successful? You’ve been doing something for two weeks and it’s just not happening? Disappointed, you move on to something else, hoping it will give you the results you’re quickly looking for.
Everyone else seems to have it together. They’re making money, getting married, taking trips to the islands, but whatever you’re doing is not bringing you that type of joy that you see other people having.
When you see someone that is successful, you’re probably looking at their accomplishment after years of sacrifice and hard work. You didn’t see when they were up late at night or skipping the Friday night parties to work on their goals. No one ever sees that part, because it’s boring and weird.
The struggles they went through on financial and personal levels doesn’t phase you. It wasn’t important to you because that’s the part you don’t see – you’re not looking for the rain, you’re looking for the sunshine.
Today, many of us have ‘microwave’ dreams. We want to be successful without putting in the work. Becoming a millionaire should only take 2, maybe 3 weeks, right? That’s what it looks like on your social media feed, but in reality, it takes years.
With valuable resources, like the internet, it is possible to achieve a 10 year goal in 5 years or sooner, but, there’s one ingredient in the success recipe that never changes:
You must put in the work.
When you plant those seeds, it takes time for them to grow into a beautiful flower. You have to consider the soil, the weather, pests and other outside factors. Things will happen that weren’t supposed to happen. Something will happen out of the blue and time may not be on your side.
Waiting can be hard, especially when you’ve put so much effort into making it work, but yet, nothing has caught on. Keep working and waiting and putting in the time.
You never know when your time will come. You don’t know how close you are to accomplishing your dream. Those people on social media won’t talk about it, because it looks cooler to pose by the private jet and the new Lambo.
There is no quick and easy way to success. It’s something you must work on day in and day out, consistently. There may be .00001% of people who were successful at the very first thing they tried, but for the rest of us, there’s discipline, focus, persistence, time management, mindset, environment and other things to consider around us, before we blossom into that beautiful flower.
The waiting game is all about doing the work and being patient. A steady drop of water can wear a hole in a rock. Your time may not come as soon as you want it to, but if you keep pushing for it, the results will come.
Fear is an emotion that we all experience. Being scared can push you towards greatness or it can paralyze you.
When we think of fear, we think about monsters, death or something that suddenly startles us. We learn to avoid it at all costs and move on with our lives.
What about fear of starting? Fear of not knowing? Fear of failure? Fear can come in many different dimensions.
Fear is very sneaky and strategic. A lot of times, you create it yourself, as opposed to an outside force creating it for you.
Think of when you tell your friend about a great idea you had. You’re excited, energized and ready to take action.
When you eagerly tell your friend about your idea, she doesn’t react the way you expected her to. Instead, she responds with, “Mary tried something like that and nothing happened. What a waste of time.”
Feeling as thought someone sucked the life out of you (because she did), you take what she says to heart. You think about it for a while and decide not to even try. If it didn’t work for Mary, why would it work for you?
Your friend put fear in you – not a scary, ‘Boo!’ type of fear, but the fear of taking action.
Wouldn’t you rather see for yourself, how your idea would have turned out? Experience your own results? Just because everyone has already tried it and failed, doesn’t mean you won’t be the one to make it work.
We all have different work ethics and levels of discipline. Maybe Mary didn’t stick with it long enough or she didn’t have the resources to continue. It doesn’t even matter what happened in Mary’s situation, the point is, you should do it anyway!
Another type of fear that stops us from making progress in our lives is the fear of not knowing.
Hindsight is 20/20. It’s safe because you’ve already seen how a situation might turn out. That type of knowledge will keep you in one place for the rest of your life.
We’re not talking about the fear of being burned by a stove or juggling 20 knives. We’re talking about fear of possibility.
If you went on a job interview and didn’t get the job, don’t let that stop you from applying to another similar job. Fear will paralyze you mentally.
You never know what will happen. We tend to think through a scenario in our minds, without making the attempt through our own actions.
“I won’t pass that test, it’s too hard.” But what if you do?
“I can’t build an underwater rocket.” But what if you can?
If it sparks you, do it! You never fail until you quit – failing only shows you how to do it better the next time you try!
Failure is the path to your masterpiece – The Goalden Lady
You must put the physical effort into it, before you assign it a negative result. Otherwise, you’ll never know what’s possible – you’ll only know that it didn’t work out in your mind.
Fear is a dream killer. The only way to get over it, is to go through it. Don’t let fear put imaginary limits on you. Stop allowing others to place their fears and limitations on you – you’re not them.
You could be the person to succeed at figuring it out or doing it the best.
#BeGoalden
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How many times has it crossed your mind that you think you’re not successful? You’ve been doing something for two weeks and it’s just not happening? Disappointed, you move on to something else, hoping it will give you the results you’re quickly looking for.