success Archives - Page 2 of 14

How To Unlearn What You Learned

To unlearn what you thought was right will give you an advantage in life. Most people keep following the same thing they were told, just because it worked for someone else decades ago.

What was right thirty years ago, isn’t necessarily right today. It’s not the fundamental principles of life (being kind, respectful, having integrity, etc.) that have changed, but the previous generations’ blueprint we use to go about navigating our own lives.

Fear

Fear will keep you from greatness. You saw that it didn’t work out for your friend, so you think it won’t work out for you. What you must understand is that everyone has a different journey in life – we’re not the same.

That particular plan doesn’t apply to everyone – no matter how many social media influencers tell you they have the “secret” or the “ultimate plan” to do whatever – your journey is unique to you.

Unlearn FOMO (fear of missing out). You’re not missing out on anything. It’s just reverse peer pressure. Peer pressure is when someone convinces you to do something, while making you feel a certain way. FOMO is what you do to yourself, because you think you’ll miss out.

It’s all fear, called by another name. We tend to live our lives off of other people’s results. Amy became successful after taking an online course about marketing. Now, you want to take the same course, yet, you’re not experiencing Amy’s successful results.

The same thing doesn’t work for everybody. Think about what you like, how you feel about it and go from there. Unlearn the trap of doing things that worked for other people.

Traditions

Traditions is another thing we have to respectfully unlearn. Your family may instill certain traditions in you, but it doesn’t mean that it’s right for the time you’re living in.

Let’s take college as an example. Some parents think college is the end all, be all. You absolutely can not get a good job unless you go to college, right? They even may have a college already picked out for you, simply because three generations of the family have graduated from ABC University.

Living in the age of the internet, college is not the only way to achieve your goals. The World Wide Web has made many things possible, that weren’t possible years ago. With college, once you factor in the debt, it may make better sense to attend a credible workshop (for a third of the cost) that will fast track your life’s plan.

Unlearning or adjusting traditions isn’t popular, because it’s tradition and “we’ve been doing it this way for years and your great-grandfather would be so disappointed”.

At the same time, parents should allow their children to grow and learn. Although parents may try to eliminate some of the hardships by promoting their advice, sometimes, that advice could be the very thing that’s holding your children back from a rich and fulfilling life.

The Victim Mindset

The victim mindset is the biggest thing to unlearn. A parent can unconsciously teach their children to complain, blame or be entitled.

You hear people say, “My kids are going to work hard just like I did – they’re going to know what it’s like to struggle!” Just because you struggled doesn’t mean you have to pass that down to your child.

It becomes a generational curse – everyone believes they have to struggle, remain complacent and find new ways to “trick” the government to pay them, as opposed to working. Instead of creating better habits or working to place you and your family in a more productive position, they choose to let life ruin them.

Life comes along and ruins everyone at some point, but the difference is based on how you respond. Do you look for solutions or wallow in the problem? Are you satisfied with losing, or will you learn and adjust for better results?

You shouldn’t want someone (especially your child) to do worse than you, just to make you feel good. Uplift and support one another – that’s how you build a strong family and a winning environment. Wanting to pass down poverty, guilt and fraud is something that definitely needs to be unlearned.

Unlearn And Start Living

Understand that you don’t have to take everyone’s word or follow their advice. You have your own mind to make up and your own mistakes to learn from. Everyone’s opinions aren’t words to live by. You do have a choice.

The best way to live is to follow what’s in your heart and mind and keep it moving. Some people may not like it or may even disown you, but you’re living for you, not for them.

Be responsible for the outcomes you produce. Don’t give yourself the slack to blame it on someone else (because they told you to) – be accountable for your own decisions. There’s nothing worse than being regretful over doing what someone else told you to do and you did it without thinking for yourself.

Unlearning is a part of life. No one talks about it, but it can benefit you in tremendous ways. It doesn’t have to be done with disrespect – just move in silence and live your life on your terms.

I Have A Vision, Now What?

A vision is one way to help you stay consistent with reaching your goals. You hear the ‘gurus’ talk about having a vision (and a vision board), but what does it really take to make it happen?

This is where most people stop. They imagine what they want to be and forget about it, but crafting your vision isn’t something you do only one time. It takes more than a simple, floating thought to manifest your dreams.

Make The Commitment

Again, you hear people say you need a vision to be successful, but what goes into that? Is it just looking at pictures of your dream home and a bunch of money? Of course not – there’s a more intentional way of getting there.

One of the first things you must do is make the decision to commit. If this is your goal, you want to use all of your power to make it come true. Just saying, “I’m going to open my business,” is not enough.

With commitment, you create new habits. You may even think new thoughts in order to make your way towards the achievement that you want. These habits and thoughts are what’s going to support the start of your goal, but only if you commit.

Don’t just say it – be it. If it requires getting up at 5am, get up at 5am. If you’re more productive as a night owl, rearrange your schedule to accommodate a new routine. You don’t have to wait for something to happen – immerse yourself in it and make it happen.

It all starts in your mind. Know what you want to do and be direct with how you’re going to approach it. Commit yourself to the process, just as you would if you were planning your vacation. If something gets in the way (as it will), hold yourself accountable, find a solution and follow through.

Focus On Your Vision

Your mindset has to be focused on getting to your goal. Do the research, make the phone calls or whatever it takes to get you going. It’s your vision – make it real. See yourself working hard, making progress and overcoming potential obstacles. Don’t just see it once a week, see it everyday, several times a day.

To ‘think’ of your vision isn’t enough. Smell the ocean air when you walk onto the balcony of your beachfront home. Feel your feet sinking into the sand as you walk across the ebb and flow of the water. See the sun set as you eat your dinner. Taste the freshness of the seafood that was caught fresh from the ocean, moments before you purchased it.

Your vision involves your senses and your action. None of this will happen if you don’t make any forward movement. You can imagine what it’s like all you want, but making it happen is totally different.

Put a strategy in place to grow your vision. Letting it sit in your head only keeps you in the same place as before. There must be some sort of daily starting point to push the needle towards your dream. Develop a physical strategy that pulls your vision into existence and be proactive.

For example, write down what your vision looks like, along with building your vision board. Make time to read and look at it everyday, when you awake and right before you go to sleep. Research success stories about others who’ve made it in the same industry. Actually do something everyday that promotes your idea. Not just thinking – doing.

Your Success Is Waiting…

The vision is already in your head, it’s just waiting to see the light of day. The only way that’ll happen is if you take baby steps.

Whether your vision is big or small (but it should be big), it needs to be broken down into manageable tasks. These are things that you can do daily to contribute to the bigger picture.

You don’t just lose thirty pounds in a day. Don’t let the size of the vision overwhelm you. Start drinking water in place of soda, or eat an apple instead of chips. The little things are what make the big things happen, but you must take action.

Your vision is done – it’s just waiting on you to fill in the blanks and complete it. All you need is the confidence to commit and follow through with your daily focus. Your commitment may become greater and your strategy may change, but it will lead to that magnificent vision you created for yourself and your future.

Be proactive! Every action you take brings you one step closer!

Opportunity Will Make You Shrink Or Grow

We’re given opportunity through various situations in life. Depending on how you respond, it can build you or break you. When things happen out of our daily rhythm, the opportunity is there, but we have a choice to either shrink back or grow ahead.

There’s no blueprint to life – no one knows what’s going to happen or how it will all end. The best thing we can do is control how we respond and make the right choices.

Blame And Complain Are Friends

One of the easiest things to do, especially when things don’t go our way, is to blame and complain – it’s almost impossible to do one without the other.

Blaming and complaining come as a package deal. If you use one, you’re bound to use the other. It’s the easiest way to avoid responsibility and the quickest way to escape accountability. It’s the lazy man’s “get out of jail free” card.

The lazy man doesn’t exactly get the point. As long as he’s blaming and complaining about his circumstances, others have control over him. If he won’t answer to himself, he’s only allowing others to answer for him.

Blaming and complaining lets you off the hook. It allows you to hand the reins to someone else to take charge. Just know that when you do this, the other person has power over what happens and can maneuver the situation at their will.

You could make suggestions, but you’re not the one holding the reins anymore, so ultimately, it’ll be their decision. This leads to coming up with excuses, just to make yourself feel better, because you gave up your opportunity.

We need to realize that opportunity can come in the form of hard work. It’s not always presented as being wrapped in a bow with a guaranteed happy ending. You must make the choice to commit and mold it into what you know it can become.

Blaming and complaining doesn’t give you that option.

Discomfort And Change Are Friends

Yes, opportunity is sneaky. It’s not easy to recognize, especially when everyone around you is expecting it to look pretty and enticing. You need to be able to spot it, even if it’s dressed ugly.

You wonder why it seems like others seem to have all the luck? It’s because they know how to see what other people look past. Opportunity looks uncomfortable and risky and too hard. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but you have to get in the trenches and make something out of it.

Discomfort and change are friends. They may not look good, but if you stay committed, you can make it into something beautiful – you can be one of the “lucky ones”.

When things look difficult and dirty, your first instinct is to leave it alone. Who wants to waste time working towards something that doesn’t look successful? Why keep trying if it doesn’t work out within the next day or two?

Train your mind to be flexible. When you’re flexible, you have the ability to move and think through any situation. Discomfort doesn’t scare you and change doesn’t make you freeze in your path. Instead, it makes you ambitious and resilient and that’s where the opportunity opens up.

We all have a choice to stand still or to move. Standing still is safe, but moving allows progress. Be uncomfortable for a little while, so you can build towards the comfort that you seek. Change is only hard in your mind – once you put one foot in front of the other, little changes grow into that opportunity you were looking for.

Growth Takes Courage

It takes a strong person to embrace discomfort and change. Anytime you have the choice to leave things as they are and play it safe, you’re letting your power slip away from you.

Courage is feeling the fear and following through – even in the face of defeat, you’ll find the strength to push through. The distractions will always be there. If it’s wrong, keep going until you make it right.

As they say, fortune favors the bold. Never be afraid of what might happen. Give yourself a chance to see how well you can adapt and adjust – always bet on yourself.

Discomfort and change are your teachers. It may hurt a little, but it won’t hurt for long. Don’t be afraid to grow yourself into the person you know you are.

Education Doesn’t Just Happen In School…

The world is lot bigger than you think. The internet has shown that, but what about seeing it personally, for yourself?

Education doesn’t just happen in school, it happens all around us. Some people get their best education interacting with the real world. There’s many things you can learn with real world experience.

On the other hand, some people are still stuck on formal education. Not so long ago, that may have been the only way to “guarantee” your success, but times have changed and it’s important that we realize this and change along with it.

Formal Education

In some places around the world, formal education is the law. There still may be some countries that lack a public school or a place for kids to learn initially, but it’s the desire for every parent to provide some sort of formal education for their child.

It starts with elementary or grade school. You’re taught the basics of how to read, write and how to do math. This is the foundation of all learning. From here, it gets a bit more intricate.

Somewhere down the line, we begin taking standardized tests, among other types of measurements of intelligence, to see how “smart” (or standard) we are. Are we moving at the average pace? Did we retain enough knowledge to move forward to the next grade? In essence, are we really learning anything, or taking in just enough to get to the next level?

Experiencing Education

In most instances, we’re taught the theory of operating in the real world, without having to go through real world experience. Can you learn how to run a business just by reading a book about it? Maybe you can, but it’s much better to get hands-on experience, as opposed to speculating and reading information about it.

You may be book smart, but that’s not where your education should end. Working in different places offers a different look at how the outside world operates. Every transaction with every person won’t give you the same outcome. This type of learning allows you to adapt and adjust to different situations and circumstances.

It’s good to read about how to drive a car, but until you get behind the wheel, it’s totally unlike what you would expect. Would you rather someone read the book and teach you, or have someone who has actually driven before teach you?

The outside world should be an extension of your inside education. Being taught by experience offers a new perspective of how things really happen. It gives you a better appreciation of how things are done. This is where real growth happens.

We’re All Cut Different

All people are different and we have different strengths and weaknesses. There’s nothing “standard” about anyone of us. We may have similarities in how we do things, but we’re still individuals with the ability to think out own thoughts and to act beyond what we’ve been taught.

And that’s where the real world comes in. The real world allows you to think outside the box and create your own path. In school, we’re taught to memorize several theories and equations for various things, but that always doesn’t compute to success in the real world. Some may argue that those theories and equations teach you how to think, but it’s not the only way – there are more strategies that demonstrate how to stretch your thinking.

With that in mind, the real world teaches you how to think in all types of situations. Depending on what you want to be in life, a formal education can be important, but just know that one type of education fits every type of person.

Get Out

Don’t close yourself off after you’re done with school. There’s so much more to learn – so many more experiences to be had.

Whether you prefer a formal education or a real world education, you’re still in control of your mindset and how to set your path.

Whatever you choose, always keep an open mind. Be aware by allowing learning to take place wherever you are. It doesn’t always have to be in a classroom for it to be real – it occurs any and everywhere.

The Power Of Your Potential

When you know that you have great potential, it can work in your favor. The world is so full of distractions and negativity, it can be easy to forget the power we have in our own lives.

We’ve been so used to listening and following instructions as children, but as adults, we simply forget that we can follow our own paths. You don’t have to allow others opinions to set the trajectory of your life.

Your Potential Has Always Been There

Your potential is what you’re capable of doing. The possibility is there, but some of us don’t know how to realize it and make it real.

You’ve heard people say, “You have potential…”, or “You’re not living up to your potential.” Yes, you can do better – there’s always room for improvement. The idea is that you KNOW it, even if no one tells you.

Sometimes, you wait on someone to give you a good feeling before you start that project. You’re waiting on that vote of confidence from them, but why?

It gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling, knowing that someone else believes in you. Allowing someone to make you feel this way can be detrimental, because you’ll get used to waiting on someone else before you start. You should already know you can do it and move forth, anyway.

Compliments and encouragement are nice to hear, but even when no one is around to say those positive things to you, you need to know and believe that you already have that ability. Create the habit of starting those ideas on your own.

That hobby you’re interested in? Stop thinking about it and start doing it. Considering a new project? Don’t sit and watch how well someone else does it, do the research and find a way to take the first step. Whatever it is, it’s all in your control – use your potential to your advantage, because it is your advantage.

Don’t Miss Out On Life

We hear people talk about FOMO (the fear of missing out), but mostly, it’s talked about in a negative way. Fearing that you may miss out on things that make no real difference in your life can be a disappointment, but what would happen if you used in towards yourself?

FOMO can work well with your potential. When you feel self-doubt about starting something new, think about what would happen if you never start. Think about missing out on creating opportunities for yourself, as opposed to waiting for them to happen to you.

This type of FOMO thinking shifts your perspective when you use it in the right way – it leaves no regrets in your mind, because you’ll act upon whatever you’re thinking about. Whether it turns out good or bad, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you did your best and you tried.

Free yourself mentally from hanging on to other people’s words and thoughts about you. Your potential is already there, you just need to put it to work. Be forward thinking and put in the effort. No one has to tell you that you can do it – have the courage to step into it.

Activate Your Potential

Everyday, you should set out to win at something. Having a target to shoot for is what activates your potential.

If you’re going to have FOMO, have FOMO about missing out on your own life. Waiting, wishing and wondering won’t help you achieve your goal. The longer you procrastinate, the closer you’re getting to that later stage of regret.

Time is your most precious asset – once it’s gone, it’s gone forever. We waste so much time with distractions and pleasing other people. Be wise and start living YOUR life. Everyday is a chance to get it right.

Get out of your head and get into your life! Those goals won’t achieve themselves. Use your potential and discover just how far you can take it. You’ll be surprised how far you can go when you put forth your full potential!

Success Has No Timeline

It seems that success is supposed to come by the time you’re 30. We should have settled into the big house, with the perfect spouse and the fantastic career.

While this may be someone’s reality, it doesn’t happen that way for most of us. Somewhere down the line, someone convinced you that “having it all” was supposed to come before you turn a certain age.

For others, it’s the direct opposite. While “having it all” is very possible, there is no particular time you should be concerned with when it comes to reaching your goals.

Compare Yourself, To Yourself

Why is your friend successful, but you’re still struggling? Who keeps watering the grass on the other side, so it’s greener? What is it that you’re doing so wrong?

There’s one answer to those questions and others like it – it’s none of your business. When you constantly compare your life to others, it’s always wrong.

When you begin comparing your life’s journey with someone else’s, that’s where you lose. Everyone else will always look better and have more than you. “Perfection” is never within your reach.

Some of us are born with advantages, some of us aren’t. Some of us have both parents living at home, some of us only have one. Some of us are millionaires by the age of 25, some of us by 55.

The point is, life is different for everyone. Each and every person’s journey is unique – there are no 2 lives on the planet Earth that happens exactly alike. Build right where you are, using what you already have.

Their life is so perfect – “why am I so far behind?” If you’re putting in the work, doing the best you can do, your achievement isn’t far away. Don’t measure how successful you are, using someone else’s ruler. Your own efforts will put you right where you need to be.

Focus on what’s in front of you, not what’s happening with someone else. Success doesn’t come to you, when you’re looking at other people. Again, do what you can, with what you have.

Where Is Your Focus?

Always look at what’s ahead in your life. Taking your eyes off of the prize (your goal) will surely slow you down. What someone else is doing doesn’t make your journey any less worth traveling.

Plan and prepare for what you want to do. Control what you can. You can only do this by betting on yourself and minding your own business.

When you look at what others are doing, you’re giving them the attention you should be giving yourself. You give them credit for what they’ve done, when you should actually be giving yourself credit for what you’ve accomplished.

We don’t see what other people do to become successful. They don’t tell you how hard it was, the friends they lost along the way or the sacrifice they made in order to reach their goal. All you see is what happened in the end.

Maybe they did something unthinkable to achieve what looks like a dream life – the whole point is, you don’t know. Instead of going through all of the guessing and assuming, focus on what you’re doing and how you’re going to be outstanding in your own life.

Success Will Come In Time

Concentrate on what you can do to make yourself a success. The world will open up to you when you begin to live your life. Don’t let your ego get in the way by thinking you have to keep up with someone else’s life, just to prove you’re worthy. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

It’s good to have people who inspire and motivate you, but don’t expect their success to be your success. You can follow the exact same blueprint of Serena Williams, but that won’t make you a champion within the same amount of time.

The only thing you can do is take responsibility for how hard you work. You have the power over how disciplined or resilient you can be. No one can put in the work for you – you must do that yourself.

Be inspired and motivated, but know that your success will come in your time, not theirs.

How To Mind What You Think

Your mind is an amazing tool. When used properly, it can make some of the most incredible things happen – that’s just how powerful it is.

Take a look around you – everything that you see came from a seed of thought in someone’s mind. From the book you’re reading to the chair you’re sitting in, it all started in the mind of a determined person.

The mind can also be tricky. Some people come up with devastating ideas and put them out into the world. As you can see, it can be used in a constructive or destructive manner.

How Do You Think?

Most times, we allow our mind to run rampant. We take in so much stimuli every second, that we become unaware of the things we’re taking in.

The way you think can lead you to certain results. Exactly, where do you want to go? What do you want to do? These are the questions you need to ask yourself in order to produce the type of day (or life) you want.

Getting to your goals takes the right mindset. If your mind is clouded with distractions and resistance, it can be difficult to push through the mess to any type of achievement. Like a diet, you must feed your mind the right thoughts to get the maximum outcome you want.

Of course, you can only control so much of what goes on around you, but the good thing is, you can control how to respond.

What’s In Your Control?

Your environment may not be as positive as you want it to be, but it’s not the end all, be all. There are certain things you can do to control what goes into your mind.

From the music you listen to, to the images you see on TV and the information you read/see on social media, it all has an effect on your brain, which has an effect on your productivity.

With technology, we are bombarded with so much information at one time, it has become distracting. If you’re not careful, it can make you a master procrastinator. You become so interested in someone else’s life, you forget about living your own.

There’s access to positive information, but you have to tune into it. Celebrity gossip, the news and even social media influencers (hence the word, “influence”) have one thing in common – they want to grab your attention.

What grabs attention? Negativity and negativity produces procrastination.

Creating Your Mindset

All of these negative mediums make it possible for you to become distracted in under a few seconds – that’s all it takes to hook your attention. They make it even harder to look away.

Before you know it, you’ll look up and half the day has gone by and you weren’t productive at all. Where did the time go?

It’s important to plan out what you listen to and what you see. There are many ways you can feed your mind in order to be more productive with your day.

As the saying goes, “garbage in, garbage out”. Whatever your mind takes in, it’s likely to give you the same output. There’s a better chance of you being more productive if you don’t scroll through social media every chance you get.

Even though your mind can be easily distracted, you can create ways to become more focused. What you put into your mind at certain times will allow you to be effective with your work and habits.

By limiting your “garbage” intake, your mind will be more clear and capable of uncovering those bright ideas and solutions. Listen to a podcast that will benefit you or watch the NASA channel – something different. If you scroll through social media, make sure that your feed only contains positive and constructive posts – things that inspire you to create and become your best.

Use Your Mind

It’s up to you how you will use your mindset. Will you use it to numb your way through life or to become a better version of yourself?

Don’t trick yourself out of living a magnificent life. Things will happen (that’s life), but you do have a choice in how you respond. Your mind will either allow you to wallow in self-pity or it will encourage you to stand up and push forward.

The choice is yours.

Personal Responsibility Is The Ultimate Life Hack

Personal responsibility can be a touchy subject. Some people think your life is in your hands, while others think every situation is up to fate.

We can create our own destiny through positive thoughts and constructive actions. Depending on your perspective, this could be true or false. There’s no detailed example for everyone to follow when it comes to walking the path to success.

Taking personal responsibility is the definitive line here – if you cross it, it can change your life. If you don’t, you could end up where you didn’t intend to be.

What Is Responsibility?

What happens when you lack personal responsibility? You leave it up to someone else to lead your life. It gives that person with ambition the permission to use you to reach their goals.

Personal responsibility is the first step to self-improvement. Who else is going to put in the work? That test won’t ace itself – the bills won’t pay themselves – your body won’t remain healthy on it’s own. This takes energy and being mindful on your part.

It’s not only you – sometimes, it can mean taking the hit for what has happened in a group. Although it may not be your fault, it allows you to become the leader, so you can continue pushing the group towards it’s goal. While everyone else is pointing fingers and finding fault, you’re figuring out a solution (the most important part) to keep things moving forward.

The life you live is your own. Your life isn’t supposed to mirror anyone else’s. Being inspired by someone is good, but know that the exact path to their success won’t get you to your success. That’s a different journey that requires personal responsibility.

You can blame and complain all you want, but the responsibility of living your life is solely yours. No one can pursue your journey but you. It’s exclusively yours to travel and accomplish.

See Your Life, Not Someone Else’s

Acknowledge that your future is unique to you and you have a hand in making it happen. If someone else has an advantage that you don’t have, that’s no reason to give up before you start. There are many people who achieve the impossible everyday, even though they come from unfavorable circumstances.

We all grow up in different situations. Some of us grew up rich and others grew up struggling – some were raised with mothers and fathers and others were raised by their grandparents or adopted – some had a positive environment and some didn’t – you get the point.

How you grew up does have an impact, but it’s not the deciding factor of how your life will turn out. Instead of being upset that your parents don’t have an inheritance for you, take on the personal responsibility to build one for yourself (or for your kids).

Yes, it’s hard, but it can be done. Your weight may be heavier than someone else’s, but it’s still your load to carry. By going the responsible route, you make that load a little bit lighter (even thought it seems heavy at the time) for those who come after you, while blazing your own trail.

Comparing yourself to others is a common distraction that we all face on a daily basis. Social media will have you thinking you’re not worthy or your life is so far behind other people within your age range. It’s all an insecurity show – 98% of people who are genuinely successful don’t show off on Instagram. If they do, they’re probably trying to sell you that same dream.

The thing is, you can’t “buy” the dream because there is no exact blueprint- sure, it’ll give you clues and hints, but it won’t make you instantly successful. We all must go through our own journey and receive our own rewards. In order to do that, you have to stop looking for someone to save you and take responsibility – get over your disadvantages and make them work for you.

Your Life Is Waiting

Personal responsibility can improve every area of your life, but you must realize it first. Some people go through life with the expectations of only bad things happening to them. Some will see the other side of the spectrum and find something great in every day.

We all want life to be a little easier for us, but at the same time, it’s the challenges that make us who we are. Don’t look at it as a problem – take this opportunity to find a solution. Look at it as an adventure that only you can experience, because it is, but it won’t happen unless you take responsibility to live it out.

Being responsible is your responsibility. Stop looking for it to be easy and find your own way through. Life wouldn’t be awesome if everyone lived the same story. Be excited about what the future holds for you – your exclusive adventure awaits!

Being Different Is Your Path To Personal Success

Being different can be one of the most difficult things to do. It’s easy to fall into the crowd, but it takes courage to stand alone.

To be different doesn’t mean you’re the oddball or that you don’t get it. It simply means that you have thought about things and have come to your own conclusions and decisions.

Looking for others to give you direction is a waste of your abilities. How can you live up to your potential if you’re waiting for someone to think for you and tell you what to do?

How It Starts

It all starts when we’re little. “If you want a treat, you must be good – we won’t go to the park unless you eat your vegetables…” These ultimatums slowly turns us into people-pleasers.

When we’re young, we need reinforcement to help us do the right thing. Telling a child to sit down for five minutes is asking a lot, but if you attach it to a reward (“sit down for five minutes and you’ll get a cookie”), it becomes worthwhile for them to obey the parent.

The challenge comes when it becomes a habit that we carry into adulthood. You wait for others to give you instructions, as opposed to doing what you really want to do. When it becomes a way of life to mentally depend on someone else, you’ve essentially given up your power to lean into your own potential.

Following The Crowd

It’s comfortable to follow the crowd. It must be right if everyone else is doing it, correct? Not always.

As the old saying goes, “If everyone else jumped off of a bridge, would you do it, too?” This implies that you should think for yourself and make your own decisions.

Don’t fall into the trap of going along with others, just so you won’t stick out like a sore thumb. Being the “sore thumb” can save you a lot of trouble in some cases.

Most of us want to be in the group with the cool kids, but it’s not always worth it. We want to be associated with them, so that everyone else will think we’re cool, too. Again, you’re not really thinking for yourself and being who you want to be. You’re just handing over your life to someone else.

Swimming Upstream Is Different

It’s hard to go against the grain – to be the only person to have an opposing idea, while everyone else follows the herd. It’s never emotionally convenient to fight the war by yourself against an entire army.

What others fail to see is that they have been brainwashed into going along, just to get along. When they don’t have to think for themselves, they automatically give up their power and ability to become the best version of themselves.

But not you – you keep your power and you stand in it. You at least know that you’ll go out doing and thinking the way you want to think, not by following someone else. Swimming upstream is being different, but you must trust yourself and not look for anyone else to confirm it for you.

Keep Your Power

How do you keep your power? By taking personal responsibility for your decisions and actions.

You may feel lonely and maybe even awkward, but that’s what it takes to follow your own path. Be okay with the fact that others won’t see your vision and will even attempt to talk you out of it – it happens to the best of us. Most times, it means you’re on to something.

If something goes wrong, you can take the fall with pride and adjust, if needed. Imagine how you would feel if you were going along with the crowd and you ended up where you didn’t want to be. In the end, you would be there because of someone else’s decision, not your own and that’s not a good feeling at all.

The biggest advantage to being different is you get to live the life you want to live. Follow your own path and break the habit of going along with the group. All it takes is a little confidence and thought.

Don’t give up on yourself so easily by allowing someone else to have authority over your life. There’s still time for you to start thinking on your own behalf. Save yourself.

7 Habits That Will Give You An Advantage In Life

How do you build winning habits? The first thing you have to do is start, but where?

No, there isn’t a pamphlet on success, but here are 7 habits that can give you an advantage. Here’s a list:

Be helpful and encouraging of others. In order to be successful yourself, you should be supportive of others. This allows for a positive environment, which benefits everyone around you. As opposed to being critical, be helpful.
Hold yourself accountable for your actions and decisions. Personal responsibility will take you further than excuses and complaining. When things go wrong, instead of working together, most people will place the blame on someone else. The truth is, the sooner you accept responsibility, the sooner you can move on. Blaming others only allows you to become stuck and stagnant. There is power in responsibility.
Take your emotions out of it. Having emotions has it’s place, but it shouldn’t be overdone. Being emotional takes energy and it can contribute to making bad decisions and can stunt your personal growth. Some people like to whine and be in their feelings, when they can simply choose to move on. Don’t stay stranded – feel it for 10 minutes and get on with your life.
Build your standards. You don’t have to ‘find’ yourself – you can create yourself. This is done by coming up with standards. What characteristics do you need to work on? How do you see your future self? Start with actionable habits that will shape you into that person. For example, if you want to become more disciplined, make your bed every morning. Be intentional.
Don’t expect anything. When you have expectations of other people, there’s always the possibility of becoming disappointed. You can’t control what other people do. Have expectations of yourself, but never of others.
Spend time outside. Technology has done wonders for communication (among other things), but it’s imperative to step away every once in a while. As humans, we’re not made to sit and stare at our wonderful devices all day, everyday. Get outside and take a walk – you’ll be surprised at how much it helps to clear your mind and allows for new ideas and solutions.
Be solution-oriented. This ties in with being accountable. Instead of blaming and complaining, be the one to find a solution. It may not be the right solution, but at least you’ll be moving forward and figuring it out – don’t be afraid to be the captain of the ship.
BONUS: Always keep it moving. It’s important to take a break, but some of us stay on break. No matter what it is, always figure out a way to move. Being complacent is comfortable, but it’s not productive. Life doesn’t stop for anyone. Physically or mentally, always keep it moving.

Begin building your habits. You don’t have to do them all at once – start by focusing on one per week (or month). If you ever find yourself stuck, follow any one of these suggestions and it will put you on a productive path to progress.