To unlearn what you thought was right will give you an advantage in life. Most people keep following the same thing they were told, just because it worked for someone else decades ago.
What was right thirty years ago, isn’t necessarily right today. It’s not the fundamental principles of life (being kind, respectful, having integrity, etc.) that have changed, but the previous generations’ blueprint we use to go about navigating our own lives.
Fear
Fear will keep you from greatness. You saw that it didn’t work out for your friend, so you think it won’t work out for you. What you must understand is that everyone has a different journey in life – we’re not the same.
That particular plan doesn’t apply to everyone – no matter how many social media influencers tell you they have the “secret” or the “ultimate plan” to do whatever – your journey is unique to you.
Unlearn FOMO (fear of missing out). You’re not missing out on anything. It’s just reverse peer pressure. Peer pressure is when someone convinces you to do something, while making you feel a certain way. FOMO is what you do to yourself, because you think you’ll miss out.
It’s all fear, called by another name. We tend to live our lives off of other people’s results. Amy became successful after taking an online course about marketing. Now, you want to take the same course, yet, you’re not experiencing Amy’s successful results.
The same thing doesn’t work for everybody. Think about what you like, how you feel about it and go from there. Unlearn the trap of doing things that worked for other people.
Traditions
Traditions is another thing we have to respectfully unlearn. Your family may instill certain traditions in you, but it doesn’t mean that it’s right for the time you’re living in.
Let’s take college as an example. Some parents think college is the end all, be all. You absolutely can not get a good job unless you go to college, right? They even may have a college already picked out for you, simply because three generations of the family have graduated from ABC University.
Living in the age of the internet, college is not the only way to achieve your goals. The World Wide Web has made many things possible, that weren’t possible years ago. With college, once you factor in the debt, it may make better sense to attend a credible workshop (for a third of the cost) that will fast track your life’s plan.
Unlearning or adjusting traditions isn’t popular, because it’s tradition and “we’ve been doing it this way for years and your great-grandfather would be so disappointed”.
At the same time, parents should allow their children to grow and learn. Although parents may try to eliminate some of the hardships by promoting their advice, sometimes, that advice could be the very thing that’s holding your children back from a rich and fulfilling life.
The Victim Mindset
The victim mindset is the biggest thing to unlearn. A parent can unconsciously teach their children to complain, blame or be entitled.
You hear people say, “My kids are going to work hard just like I did – they’re going to know what it’s like to struggle!” Just because you struggled doesn’t mean you have to pass that down to your child.
It becomes a generational curse – everyone believes they have to struggle, remain complacent and find new ways to “trick” the government to pay them, as opposed to working. Instead of creating better habits or working to place you and your family in a more productive position, they choose to let life ruin them.
Life comes along and ruins everyone at some point, but the difference is based on how you respond. Do you look for solutions or wallow in the problem? Are you satisfied with losing, or will you learn and adjust for better results?
You shouldn’t want someone (especially your child) to do worse than you, just to make you feel good. Uplift and support one another – that’s how you build a strong family and a winning environment. Wanting to pass down poverty, guilt and fraud is something that definitely needs to be unlearned.
Unlearn And Start Living
Understand that you don’t have to take everyone’s word or follow their advice. You have your own mind to make up and your own mistakes to learn from. Everyone’s opinions aren’t words to live by. You do have a choice.
The best way to live is to follow what’s in your heart and mind and keep it moving. Some people may not like it or may even disown you, but you’re living for you, not for them.
Be responsible for the outcomes you produce. Don’t give yourself the slack to blame it on someone else (because they told you to) – be accountable for your own decisions. There’s nothing worse than being regretful over doing what someone else told you to do and you did it without thinking for yourself.
Unlearning is a part of life. No one talks about it, but it can benefit you in tremendous ways. It doesn’t have to be done with disrespect – just move in silence and live your life on your terms.