self help Archives - The Goalden Lady

Time Is Never An Excuse For Reaching Success

The Most Convenient Excuse

What is the most common excuse people use the most?

“I don’t have enough time.”

It’s not true, I don’t care who you are. We all work under a daily 24 hour time frame. How do you think other people become successful? They manipulated their 24 hour schedule.

To achieve your goals, you will have to make some sacrifices. If you’re unable to do everything within your day, you need to make some adjustments. Time is not the issue, following through strategically with your plan is.

It can be a challenge at first, but it is definitely possible. You will have to learn to make time, for time.

First, you must stop making the excuse that you don’t have enough time. If you truly want it, you’ll find the time to work on your plan.

Put in time on your lunch break, after work, after dinner, early in the morning, or on the weekends. Skip the party, and Happy Hours (among other things).

“But I hang out with my friends on the weekends. I have to wake up to go to work at six in the morning.”

Take a weekend off from hanging out with your friends, or get up at four in the morning to work on your goals, then go to work.

It’s simple, but many people make it hard. Living a lazy life will bring you lazy results. Sacrifices will have to be made. You will have to skip Happy Hour from time to time.

The only way you’ll get the results you wish for is by putting in the time and consistent effort.

Actually, you could do all of these things and still make time to work on your plan. You may have to stay up late during the work week or get up early in the morning on the weekends, but there’s time to do it. The question is, will you make the sacrifice?

Utilize Every Minute

Once you begin to find the time to work on yourself, you’ll begin to see how critical each minute is.

Your goals should drive you to work diligently through to completion. If it doesn’t make you want to get up earlier or work later into the night to accomplish them, apparently, you don’t want it bad enough.

When you work on your dream, you’ll want to stay up later. You’ll want to be more productive on the weekends. You’ll want to turn down your friends for Sunday brunch. You’ll find it hard to focus on anything else. Your mind will become inundated with thoughts of success.

You’re on the right track. Your mind has become consumed with ideas and you become more aware of the time you have in your day.

Twenty-four hours won’t seem like enough time, but you will make it work. Every ounce of time you find within your day, you exhaust it. You are going to make it happen with the time you have been given.

Your environment will likely change to people who are more respectful of time. Everyone in your circle will be doing outside projects or side hustles. When you’re surrounded by people who are enthusiastic about their work, it rubs off on you.

Being in a productive environment helps you to stay on track and it allows you to become more creative.

Working towards your goals may seem hard, but after you start, the process becomes nearly effortless. You’ll lose those self-limiting beliefs as you grow. When you overcome challenges, you’ll learn from the past and know what to do the next time. Learning from the obstacles of the past allows you to make solid decisions and to move with more confidence in the future.

Excerpt from “Help! I’m Stuck: How To Increase Your Energy, Master Your Money And Control Your Time.”

Help! I’m Stuck: How To Increase Your Energy, Master Your Money and Control Your Time

As a senior in college, I had three jobs. Two jobs were paid and one was an internship. As a full-time college student, there was a lot on my plate.

I went to school Monday through Friday. I worked during the week and on the weekends, as well. It was a nonstop schedule, but I liked the challenge of making it work.

Back then, my energy wasn’t a problem. You wouldn’t hear the words, “I’m tired,” come from my mouth. We were college students, who had time to be tired?

When I went out with friends, I always had money – my money. I never had to wait on my parents to send me money or bug them about it. With two paying jobs, I was financially set (at least as a college student).

I had to plan my time carefully. There wasn’t any room for forgetful mistakes. Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I went to class from 8am to 2pm. Afterwards, I would do homework and catch the bus by 4pm to go to work.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I had classes from 8am to 11am. I would go to my internship from noon to 4pm.

After work during the week, I would go to the library and study from 9pm until it closed at midnight.

On Saturday and Sunday, I worked from noon to 6pm. This was my schedule for an entire year.

Fast Forward To Now

When I think back on how I managed it all, it amazes me. If you asked me to do that same schedule today, it would surely be a challenge.

Things have changed over the years. Since technology has made most things easier, it seems as though life should become easier.

Instead of physically going to three jobs, seven days a week, I probably could’ve worked from my dorm on a computer. Maybe, instead of waiting for the bus, I could’ve called Uber. Going to the bank to deposit my check could have been replaced with direct deposit.

All of these things could have saved me energy, money and time. It sounds easy in theory, but we still have a tough time with these things today.

Making the Most Out of Your Energy, Money and Time

Your energy, money and time are the most important habits to develop in life. Not only can distractions take up your time and drain your energy, if you’re not careful, it can cost you money, too.

Being responsible with your energy, time and money can be beneficial. Everything you do in life, at some point, will intersect with at least one of these qualities. Having low energy, no money and no sense of time, will stall any progress you intend to make.

Also, it sets a solid foundation for your work ethic. It allows you to be dependable, trustworthy and responsible. You’ll have the ability to take on any situation, in a professional manner.

All of these qualities don’t happen on their own. Like anything else, it will take discipline and focus to reach your desired results. As you practice these skills, it will give you the confidence towards building a better you.

3 Things You Never Want To Waste

As you get older, you’ll learn there are 3 things that will slip away from you, if you aren’t careful.

Energy

Having the ability to do something for a period of time, without easily being worn down, is energy. There is physical energy and mental energy.

The good thing about both types of energy, is that it can be replenished. If you become tired, all you need to do is rest or get some sleep. Like a cell phone, you’ll charge back up and be ready to go!

You’ll want to direct your energy towards the most important things throughout the day. We experience peak energy times at various points and should take advantage of them.

Eating healthy and exercise contributes to our energy levels. Food is fuel for the body. Sometimes, we can get sidetracked by how good something tastes and indulge a little too much. This is what slows us down in our day-to-day actions.

Food is meant to give us energy. It helps to carry us through the day, even when stress is present.

Mental energy can be regulated, as well. When it comes to making decisions, our mental energy can easily become depleted. Routines and rituals can help preserve your mental energy for more difficult decisions.

Protecting your mind from negative energy is a habit that demands constant practice. It gives you a chance to improve and to become the ultimate thought leader.

Money

Being attentive to your finances will serve you well in life. The earlier you learn to control your money, the better off you’ll be.

People have different opinions about money. Some view it in a negative way, while others see the opportunity it can provide.

Money is versatile. It has the ability to support your lifestyle and to help you achieve goals. No matter how you see it, money is a resource that could help or harm any situation. In this book, we will learn how to manage it for our benefit.

The good thing about money is, if you lose it, you can always make more. As long as you apply the knowledge that guided you in the first place, you should never be broke.

Time

Time is the only resource that cannot be replaced. You can rest to restore your energy and you can replace money by working. No matter what you do, time cannot be captured, nor recovered.

The only way you can rewind or fast forward time is on a recording. It is a measurement that keeps going at a steady pace everyday, yet, it never stops.

We all depend on time. From the moment we wake up, to the moment we fall asleep, there are countless responsibilities that need to be handled. Without it, we wouldn’t be nearly as productive.

People always tend to put things off until tomorrow. Think of how much time has been wasted, every time we say that. Time doesn’t consist of ‘rollover minutes.’ Once it’s over, there’s no way to get it back. Therefore, we should learn how to use it wisely.

These are the 3 things that will carry you through all aspects of life, from beginning to end. Depending on how you respond, these habits will determine how easy or hard your journey will be.

We’ve all heard people say:

“I wish I had more energy.”

“I wish I had more money.”

“I wish I had more time.”

This doesn’t have to be you. Learn how to maximize your energy, money and time. The earlier you learn this, the better off you’ll be. Even if you’re older, you can still learn how to save it all.

Once you get these 3 habits down to a science, your quality of life will improve. The foundation you are building will make you mentally and physically stronger, financially capable and mindfully conscious. You will become the person you’ve always wanted to be.

Let’s start your journey.

Excerpt from the personal development series, “Help! I’m Stuck: How To Increase Your Energy, Master Your Money and Control Your Time.”

Available at Amazon.

The Defensive Mind

Say Yes

Whenever an opportunity arises, the first thing you say is ‘no.’ What if you said ‘yes’ for a change? It may be a little more work or a bit of a learning curve, but what challenges you, grows you. We are not meant to stay in one position all of our lives.

Of course, having a knee-jerk reaction to questions that are dangerous is good. If someone asks if you want to go swimming with sharks, ‘no’ might not be a bad answer, unless that’s something you’ve always wanted to do.

The defensive mind is activated out of fear. Change can be scary, but again, it promotes growth. When you don’t know what to expect, fear takes over your mind. This is how fear dominates your every move.

Saying ‘no’ to everything eliminates your chances of trying new things. If you do something new, you may actually like it. You’re selling yourself short when you keep saying ‘no.’

Fear will have you going to work everyday and coming home, with no life to live in between. It will become the worst friend you’ve ever had because it doesn’t allow you to develop yourself. It’s like a jealous lover who wants to keep you all to themselves.

You don’t always have to do the same thing over and over. Find something that you’ve always wanted to do and look into it in your spare time. Expand your mind and meet new people with the same interests along the way.

Take Your Chances

The next time someone asks a question, take yourself off of autopilot and think for a second. If it won’t hurt you, take a chance and say ‘yes.’ The only thing that could happen is you don’t like it, or, it doesn’t work out. You won’t ever have to do it again.

Then again, something amazing could happen. If that’s the case, imagine how much it could help you improve and develop your skills. This could lead to many other chances and could thrust your side hustle into overdrive! But, you’ll never know until you take that chance first.

People who are set on saying ‘no’ will live to regret that they never took a chance on those missed opportunities. There’s nothing like regret. You can’t go back in life and do it over. Take your chances and know the outcome, as opposed to wondering what would have happened if you did.

Also, it takes courage to get out of a defensive mindset. When you’re used to people around you running away from opportunities, you will do the same. Think for yourself and respond how you want to respond. Just because it didn’t work out for someone else, doesn’t mean it won’t work out for you. Don’t let that negativity seep into your mindset.

This is your life, not theirs. You are in control of how and what you think. Be the leader. Be the example that shows others that it’s okay to try new things. You may be scared, but you’re putting your best foot forward and doing it anyway!

How To Get Over The Defensive Mind

Don’t look to others for confidence – that has to come from you and your mindset. They already have a pessimistic outlook on everything. When you go against the norm and do something different, you are inviting favorable circumstances to come to you.

You never know what you could be missing. When everyone else says ‘no’ and you say ‘yes,’ opportunity may be looking for you.

As you can see, it is very easy to fall into the trap of having a defensive mind. Don’t follow the crowd and do what everyone else does, because you may miss out. Even if nothing happened, you won’t have to wonder about it.

Take some time to ponder before you automatically say ‘no.’ It will help you overcome your fear of the unknown, build your courage muscle and help you grow into a better person. Your job is to use as many resources as you can, to become the best you in your life.

This means managing your mindset and overcoming fear in order to move forward. Don’t allow weak influences to stop you. You must do this for yourself, which means you have to reprogram your mind and create the new, unstoppable you.

Excerpt from: “Help! I’m Stuck: How To Manage Your Mind, Defeat Distractions and Create Confidence,” Book 2 by S.R. Roberts. Edited for length.

Excerpt From “Help! I’m Stuck” Book 2

I distinctly remember in high school how I had tons of homework and after school activities. In order to keep up with everything, I had to either manage my time or simply quit. In my household, quitting was not an option.

These tasks kept me busy, but I had to develop a strategy to keep everything going smoothly. My mind was everywhere, not to mention peer pressure was at an all time high and that can totally mess with your self-esteem. These were situations that tested my skills as a person. I had never even heard of ‘personal development’ at this point in my life.

The good thing was that I had an awesome circle of friends. We all had a variety of schedules, yet, we handled them like pros because no one wanted to look like the weak link. It was a type of silent encouragement.

It was a sin to have nothing to do. If you weren’t studying for a test, you should be doing a project. If you weren’t doing a project, you should be busy with an after school activity. If not that, you should have a part-time job. There was always something to do.

There was no time for distractions. We were all busy, doing things to reach the next level.

Life After College

Upon graduating from college, things changed. I found a great job and had my own place, but then what? My friends were all in different places and we’re all in various stages of our lives (because everyone’s life isn’t as synchronized as it was in school). Some are still at home, some moved out of state, some like to party at night and sleep all day – everything is different.

Now, I have to really figure out what I like. Going to work and coming home with nothing to do but look forward to the next day at work wasn’t going to satisfy me. The nightlife can get tired pretty quickly, especially if that’s not your ‘thing.’ This is an experimental stage of life. It’s sink or swim. It’s all on you.

The Art of Doing Nothing

After awhile, I realized I was kind of just drifting along. My mind wasn’t being challenged, distractions became my friend and my confidence began to decrease. Everything became gray and redundant. Get up. Go to work. Come home. Watch TV. Eat dinner. Take a shower. Watch more TV. Fall asleep. Wash, rinse, repeat.

What do you do once you leave a place where all of your options are provided for you and now, that convenience is gone? It sounds great that you have all of this freedom, but what do you do with it? No one is there to give you a list of extracurricular activities to choose from for the next four months. Your life, literally, becomes your own.

The question becomes: what do you do and how do you continue to grow yourself into something greater? How do you challenge yourself when there is no one there to challenge you? How do you get back to being that productive, forward-thinking, active, courageous person?

Excerpt from the book, “The Goalden Lady Presents: Help! I’m Stuck: How To Manage Your Mind, Defeat Distractions and Create Confidence by S.R. Roberts