mindset Archives - Page 17 of 18

3 Powerful Life Tips That Begin With You In The New Year

Let’s get the ‘not-so obvious’ thing out of the way, first: no one is going to do it for you. No one is going to save you. No one is going to lay it out for you.

You have the freedom to think for yourself, but for some reason, you think someone else will take you along for the ride so you won’t have to directly experience the disappointment, or have your feelings hurt.

As you live, you will soon learn that the path to success is full of disappointments, setbacks, broken emotions, going in circles, friends turned enemies, etc.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. In other words, you want the prize, but you don’t want to make the sacrifice or put in the effort for that prize.

It’s not as hard as it sounds – once you get in the habit of showing up for yourself (which is one of the biggest hurdles to jump), your path will open up for you to pursue.

Don’t wait on someone else to tell you what to do. As kids, we’re used to adults telling us what to do. The issue is, when it’s time to become adults, some of us don’t know how to let that ‘tell me what to do’ mentality go. We continue to lean on others for support and guidance. Take a step and make your own decisions. You know what your goals are. Figure out what to do from your own experiences and through other people’s mistakes. Here’s a secret: No one knows what they’re doing – we’re all just winging it. Give yourself permission to go out and do something.
Be committed to yourself. Technically, you don’t need anyone to hold you accountable. Accountability partners don’t always work. You either pick your friend, who will let you off the hook, or you end up with someone who doesn’t follow through. It’s a good idea in theory, but it almost never works. Hold yourself accountable. You know better than anybody else how bad you want it. If you can’t make a commitment to yourself, no one else can make you commit. Don’t let yourself down. It’s easy to let someone else down – you think to yourself, “They’ll get over it…” but letting yourself down is something that sticks with you for the rest of your life. Regret hurts because you know what you’re capable of. Hold yourself accountable and win.
Get it over with, then, get over it. On your path to accomplishing your goal, there will be many things that will confuse you and stomp you, mentally. Do the best you can. Google it, look it up on YouTube or just trust yourself and give it a shot. Don’t get stuck there – get it over with and get over it! Don’t stop dead in your tracks just because it didn’t work out the way you thought it should. A lot of times, we let small things stop us and we become dejected and that makes us complacent – it doesn’t mean to stop, it just means that it didn’t work that particular way. Put your thinking cap on and try again! Keep going until you find what works. Don’t slow down – if it doesn’t work, just say, “OK, I know that doesn’t work – next!”

Time waits for no one. If you want to build your dream life and live in your success, don’t waste time waiting for others to help you. Don’t wait for somebody to believe in you – take action and believe in yourself!

This year, take control of your thoughts and actions. Falling down is not the issue – getting comfortable and lying there is the issue. Learn to bounce back because if you don’t, once you finally decide to get back up, the world will have passed you by.

It all starts with you and it will start this year.

#BeGoalden

This Time, Next Year

After all of the holiday feasts and family get-togethers, what’s next?

Usually, this is the time where people start to get into their New Year’s plans and resolutions. Year after year, it’s the same pattern.

There’s nothing wrong with a little tradition, but how about making a new personal development tradition?

No one has to know, but you. There are some people who get a little weird when you mention self-help or personal development, but if you have a supportive circle of friends, you can all do it together.

Here’s the big question you want to answer: “Where do I see myself, this time, next year?”

It may sound like another way to create a resolution, but this is for life, not just a few months. This involves your mindset, health, and wealth.

We are capable of working on more than one thing at a time. There’s a time to focus on all three at different times throughout the day.

In the morning and at night, focus on your mindset. When you wake up in the morning, guide your mind into positive thoughts. Think about what you want to accomplish that day and how it will successfully unfold. In the evening, think about how your day went and how you can improve or make it better. Read something that inspires you to be your best. This will set into your subconscious before you fall asleep and gear your thoughts towards positive action.
Before you have a meal, focus on your health. Don’t overthink your eating habits. Plain and simple, eat food that will give you energy and avoid food that makes you feel tired. We all know what’s not good for us, so to start, make a change with every meal. Switch out a slice of cake for an orange, or potato chips for celery. It may be a far stretch from what you’re used to, but start small to work your way towards better eating habits. It’s hard to do because some food tastes really good, but think about your future. You have nothing without good health.
Mind your money and watch your wealth. It seems like every wealthy person always had money, but some of them had to start from the bottom. Pay yourself first, with every paycheck. This doesn’t mean buy things and have a great time, it means put money aside for emergencies. Living paycheck to paycheck is stressful and painful. Help yourself by setting aside a set amount every time you get paid. Make it a habit. It may seem small at first, but over time, it builds up into a good amount. Now, when you have an emergency, you don’t have to wait for the next paycheck and put off other bills to accommodate it – you’ll already have it to fix the problem.

This is just a start to many things you can do towards your personal development. The biggest challenge is to actually start.

Everyone always starts on a Monday or on New Year’s Day, but you can start in the middle of the week if you want to. The “I’ll start on Monday” excuses will trickle down to the end of the year if you let it.

The only way you will achieve any goal, is to start. It doesn’t have to be a parade before you start, just do it! The next meal you have, pick a healthy substitution for one thing on your plate. The next time you’re in the car, listen to a podcast involving your goal. The next time you get your change back from a purchase, collect the change in a jar (if you’re using a debit card, have your bank put the extra change into a savings account for you).

It doesn’t matter, just start! Excuses will only keep you in the same place, this time next year.

Make a commitment to yourself. The best investment you can make is in your self improvement. Once that becomes a daily habit, everything else will fall into place. You’ll be a better version of yourself, this time, next year and for years to come.

#BeGoalden

Live Your Life In ‘Real Time’

The concept of ‘real time’ is doing something as it happens or at the moment it occurs.

It seems like we live in ‘real time,’ but most of us really don’t. How can you not live in ‘real time’ while you are actually living?

Some people put things off, therefore, real time is delayed time. Procrastination at it’s best.

For people who never have enough time to exercise or eat right or spend time with their kids, etc., that’s absolutely not true.

You can find time – it’s always there. What you want to do, you’ll find time for- you can make time for anything.

Understandably, when you’re at work, you can’t just stop and do the things you want to do – but what about those moments when you can?

When you’re at home and you’re eating a bag of chips, your mind says, “Maybe I should eat an apple…”. In ‘real time’ you would put down the chips and eat the apple, but instead, you choose to ignore that thought.

That’s how living in ‘real time’ works.

When you’re binge-watching your favorite show and you think, “I need to write an outline for my paper…” stop watching it and create the outline for your paper. That’s ‘real time’ living.

We all know what we should do in out minds, but we seem to make the choice to ignore those hints. When we see others who are successful, we complain, “I could be successful like that, but I didn’t have time.”

The difference between you and them is that they listened to those mindful hints and applied it in ‘real time’. They acted upon those thoughts in ‘real time’.

They didn’t say, “Let me finish eating this ice cream first, then I’ll eat healthy,” or “I’m gonna sleep in – it’ll be there when I wake up, it’s not going anywhere.”

As you can see, living in ‘real time’ takes discipline and effort. Sometimes, we’d rather do what we want to do, rather than what we need to do.

Living in ‘real time’ accomplishes goals. You can’t be lazy and expect to achieve what you want – it takes ‘real time’ habits.

When you think it, do it – that’s all there is to it. Before you binge-watch your favorite show, get all of the ‘real time’ tasks and responsibilities out of the way, first. Then you can enjoy your shows with a sense of completion and fulfillment.

Besides…it’s not going anywhere.

#BeGoalden

Make The Decision To Believe In Yourself

If you are the type of person who has no problem with believing in yourself, you’ve pretty much already won at life. For those of us who have a bit more trouble…

Are you aware of this massive power that you have in your possession? Everyday when you wake up, you can decide to be as courageous or as cowardly as you want to be.

Some of us allow outside influences to make that decision for us, so we just go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens.

There are others of us who make that decision every single day and we choose to be as happy and confident as we want to be. Nothing’s going to bring us down — we can handle it!

Why can’t we all be that way?

We are all born into different environments. Some grew up in a loving, forward-thinking home and others grew up in a negative, stagnant way of thinking home.

When your surroundings are positive and motivating, it’s easy to believe in yourself. Everyone is always rooting for you and they acknowledge your efforts.

When your surroundings are negative, there is no acknowledgement for anything. Everyone is stuck in the same place, with the ‘it’s always been like this,’ mentality. The possibility of doing any better is nonexistent.

Although your environment doesn’t determine your outcome 100%, it does play a major part.

It’s hard to go against the grain in a bad environment. The easy way out would be to accept what everyone else is doing and continue to ‘go with it.’

The harder thing to do is be proactive. Even when people say negative things to you 20 times a day, you find a way to turn it around.

“I won’t give in.”
“I can break the cycle.”
“I can do better than this.”
“I don’t want to end up like them.”

This is what pushes you ahead. Although they keep telling you that you’re no better than them, you believe that you are and you can do better.

On the other hand, some people believe in themselves so much, they abuse it and think they can do whatever they want.

When you become used to things turning out in your favor, your efforts can become lazy. You don’t stop after success happens — you have to put in even more effort to keep it going.

As you can see, your environment can work for you or against you. Some people want to break out of their negative environment so bad, they do the total opposite of what’s around them.

Others come from such a positive environment, they expect people to believe in them everywhere they go. When they come across a set of people who really don’t care, they become depressed and fall into a trap of believing what others say about them.

These scenarios don’t happen with everyone, but again, the environment does have an effect on a person’s self-belief.

Let’s teach our children to believe in themselves, no matter what others say or think about them. Teach them that everyone is not going to be encouraging of everything they do. Some people will tease them just to get under their skin.

Most of all, teach them that their self worth is not determined by what others think. Believing in yourself can be difficult, but with the right foundation and mindset, we can push ourselves farther than our thoughts can take us.

Just make that decision every morning. I am courageous. I am beautiful. I am helpful. I am worthy. I am powerful.

Don’t wait for permission (you don’t need it) or for somebody else to tell you (you know it better than they know it). Believe it!

#BeGoalden

As published on Medium.com.

Destroying The Habit of Self-Defeat

We’ve all done it at some point in our lives – diminishing our ideas and beliefs before anyone else can.

It makes you think you’re escaping the ridicule of others before they have a chance to do it. The idea of, “If I don’t do it, I won’t get hurt,” only leads to a path of self-sabotage and defeat.

Self-defeat is when you deny yourself of potential positive outcomes. You think it won’t happen anyway, so why even try? You don’t want to experience losing or having hurt feelings, so you run away from opportunity and beat yourself up.

First, let’s get over the idea of getting your feelings hurt. It’s going to happen. We’ve all had hurt feelings before, but we find a way to get past it. It doesn’t stop after you get old, so start dealing with it now.

The only way to deal with it is to go through it. Learn to develop a habit of persistence. Every time an obstacle occurs, don’t allow it to hijack your plan – be resourceful, figure it out and act. The next time it happens, you’ll know how to handle it and move on.

Putting yourself down only makes you weak and less confident. You need all of the confidence you can build up. Having a healthy self-esteem prepares you for those moments of uncertainty.

Secondly, don’t be your own worst enemy. There are other people who already do that. They try to insult you because you’re at least making an effort. It’s their insecurities – they don’t have a strong mindset to do the things they really want to do, so they try to push that same belief onto you.

Don’t let those types of thoughts enter your mind, because then, you begin to sabotage your own beliefs about yourself. You become your own worst enemy. You’ve done the enemy’s job for them.

Don’t let the enemy win!

At this point, no one has to do it to you, because you’re doing it to yourself. You disrespect yourself by believing what they say. You’ve placed limits on your own abilities, just to escape what they might say or ‘think.’

Who cares what they say or what they think? The only person in this world that knows exactly what you can do, is you. It’s not your parents, your siblings, your girlfriend/boyfriend – no, only you really know how far you can go. It’s in your control.

Stop listening to what other people tell you and listen to yourself. Tell yourself how awesome and strong you are!

Now, believe it. Don’t allow anyone else to take over your mind and bend it to what they like. Don’t worry about disappointing others, worry about disappointing yourself.

It’s great if you have an encouraging environment of people who trust and believe in you, but it comes down to you believing when no one else is there. Your cheerleaders won’t always be with you everywhere you go, so you have to learn to be your own cheerleader and follow through.

Don’t stop your progress before it starts. If there’s a wide open, 2 mile road ahead of you, why would you stop after taking 2 steps? This is where your self-defeat comes in:

Who do you think you are?
You’ll only make it halfway…
It’s too far…
Am I getting a prize for this?

All kinds of things will pop into your mind, but you must learn to stretch yourself. So what, if no one is there to see you do it? Do it for yourself! Do it for the benefit of knowing! This is how you build yourself. Stopping yourself before you start only makes you like everyone else.

You’re not everyone else. Find what you are interested in and go after it. Learn it, do it, make mistakes, do it again, create a better plan, follow it, fall down, get back up…that’s how it works.

It’s not a waste of time. It’s called progress and progress leads to success. Don’t sabotage yourself into a life of mediocrity and regret. Let your light shine!

#BeGoalden

The Defensive Mind

Say Yes

Whenever an opportunity arises, the first thing you say is ‘no.’ What if you said ‘yes’ for a change? It may be a little more work or a bit of a learning curve, but what challenges you, grows you. We are not meant to stay in one position all of our lives.

Of course, having a knee-jerk reaction to questions that are dangerous is good. If someone asks if you want to go swimming with sharks, ‘no’ might not be a bad answer, unless that’s something you’ve always wanted to do.

The defensive mind is activated out of fear. Change can be scary, but again, it promotes growth. When you don’t know what to expect, fear takes over your mind. This is how fear dominates your every move.

Saying ‘no’ to everything eliminates your chances of trying new things. If you do something new, you may actually like it. You’re selling yourself short when you keep saying ‘no.’

Fear will have you going to work everyday and coming home, with no life to live in between. It will become the worst friend you’ve ever had because it doesn’t allow you to develop yourself. It’s like a jealous lover who wants to keep you all to themselves.

You don’t always have to do the same thing over and over. Find something that you’ve always wanted to do and look into it in your spare time. Expand your mind and meet new people with the same interests along the way.

Take Your Chances

The next time someone asks a question, take yourself off of autopilot and think for a second. If it won’t hurt you, take a chance and say ‘yes.’ The only thing that could happen is you don’t like it, or, it doesn’t work out. You won’t ever have to do it again.

Then again, something amazing could happen. If that’s the case, imagine how much it could help you improve and develop your skills. This could lead to many other chances and could thrust your side hustle into overdrive! But, you’ll never know until you take that chance first.

People who are set on saying ‘no’ will live to regret that they never took a chance on those missed opportunities. There’s nothing like regret. You can’t go back in life and do it over. Take your chances and know the outcome, as opposed to wondering what would have happened if you did.

Also, it takes courage to get out of a defensive mindset. When you’re used to people around you running away from opportunities, you will do the same. Think for yourself and respond how you want to respond. Just because it didn’t work out for someone else, doesn’t mean it won’t work out for you. Don’t let that negativity seep into your mindset.

This is your life, not theirs. You are in control of how and what you think. Be the leader. Be the example that shows others that it’s okay to try new things. You may be scared, but you’re putting your best foot forward and doing it anyway!

How To Get Over The Defensive Mind

Don’t look to others for confidence – that has to come from you and your mindset. They already have a pessimistic outlook on everything. When you go against the norm and do something different, you are inviting favorable circumstances to come to you.

You never know what you could be missing. When everyone else says ‘no’ and you say ‘yes,’ opportunity may be looking for you.

As you can see, it is very easy to fall into the trap of having a defensive mind. Don’t follow the crowd and do what everyone else does, because you may miss out. Even if nothing happened, you won’t have to wonder about it.

Take some time to ponder before you automatically say ‘no.’ It will help you overcome your fear of the unknown, build your courage muscle and help you grow into a better person. Your job is to use as many resources as you can, to become the best you in your life.

This means managing your mindset and overcoming fear in order to move forward. Don’t allow weak influences to stop you. You must do this for yourself, which means you have to reprogram your mind and create the new, unstoppable you.

Excerpt from: “Help! I’m Stuck: How To Manage Your Mind, Defeat Distractions and Create Confidence,” Book 2 by S.R. Roberts. Edited for length.

Don’t Believe What They Tell You

You decide to be who you want to be. There is no ‘maybe’ or ‘can I’ or ‘what do you think’. None of that. Get it in your head that you can be who you want to be – it’s your decision.

Believing in yourself is hard. It takes guts to take control of your thoughts and become your vision. Most people will go by what their parents say or what their teacher says about them.

Don’t believe what they say! Don’t let it enter your mind and take over. If you let it, you will be what they say you are. You will slowly adapt to their opinion of you.

They may call you awkward, but you’re not. They may say you’re lazy, but they haven’t seen you work. People will say all kinds of things about you, but don’t be what they say.

This is how you begin to win. Believe what YOU think. Throughout life, there will be plenty of people trying to make you into someone else, but always remember that you are who you are. They can take it or leave it.

People are shocked when they find out that someone isn’t who they ‘thought’ they were. They’re appalled because that person didn’t match their image of what they imagined.

Don’t let let it distract you. The only person you should be concerned about is you. Keep building yourself. Keep being awesome. Keep making progress to YOUR idea of greatness.

Let others know, too. Evidently, people don’t know that they can be who they want to be. They have the power to be magnificent. They have the energy to move in the direction of their choice. Sometimes, they have so many other people in their ear, it drowns out their own thoughts.

If your mom wants you to be a lawyer and you don’t, that’s her issue. If your father wants you to be a doctor and you don’t, that’s his problem. It may disappoint the people you love, but would you rather make them happy or make yourself happy?

It’s upsetting to see grown people living the life that their parents wanted. If that’s what you want, that’s fine, but please don’t waste your entire life being something you’re not.

It is a tough decision, especially when it comes to loved ones, but always bet on yourself. Don’t allow those opinions to be your life’s path – it’s your choice. Follow through and be you.

#BeGoalden

Control Your Chaos

Everything doesn’t go as planned in the real world. Reaching your goals is an incredible effort within itself. You don’t have to let everyone else know the chaos you’re going through.

People are happy to get in your business. Some wish you well, but others will make their way into it and stir up more drama. They want to see you sweat and worry over the possibility of something bad happening.

Things may be happening here and there and it seems like it’s getting out of hand, but this is your journey – no matter what happens, you’re still in control.

Here are a few suggestions to help you get through it:

Don’t blurt out how bad things are going for you. Don’t put your business out there. Keep your plans under wraps. There are some people who may be able to help, but for the most part, you’re giving others a front row seat to watch you fall apart (at least that’s what they’re hoping for). Move in silence and allow your success to do the talking.
Think it through. Instead of accepting the confusion and dancing with defeat, drink some water and think it through. Things may be going a little rough now, but once you think it through, it’ll work itself out (with your help, of course). Give it some thought and give it some time.
Remember: you are in control. Everyone goes through obstacles along the way – it’s inevitable. When it comes, that’s your chance to figure things out and get over it, not to crumble and walk away. Take this opportunity to learn a better way. Apply your knowledge and do the work. When you win one obstacle, it gives you confidence to take on the next one.

Others are expecting you to fail. It gives them a chance to say, “I told you so,” or to deflect the negative attention to you and away from them. They are waiting to see you with your head down, but always keep your head up – you’re the one making progress and that’s always something to be proud of!

The joke’s on them, because you know what to do in these situations. You won’t give them the satisfaction of watching you fall, because you won’t. You’ll just figure out another way that works. You’ll always come out on top.

It may be chaos, but you are the one in control. Control your chaos. Don’t let it overwhelm you – take it step by step. Adapt to what has happened and adjust your route. Change the path, not the goal.

This is what the road to success looks like. It’s not easy and it will break you down at times, but how else will you learn?

The chaos doesn’t give you permission to stop, but permission to keep going. Take control of your chaos.

#BeGoalden

How To Become Remarkably Persistent

What does it take to be persistent? Is it reserved only for those who are playing at a high level? When does it happen? How does it happen?

Being persistent is when you continue to follow through with your actions, no matter what obstacles get in the way. It could be big or small, but persistence is what keeps you going towards your desired result.

People will attempt to set simple goals, but what most lack is the ability keep moving, after the first or second setback. Setbacks happen, but it is up to us to maintain enough persistence to keep going.

Persistence can be the difference between achieving a goal and being complacent. Anyone can be persistent, with the following suggestions:

Create a plan. This could be setting a goal or something as simple as completing a daily chore. When you set a time to do something, preferably at the same time everyday, you’re building power behind the habit. No matter what, everyday you will brush your teeth. Or, no matter what, everyday at 6pm, you will exercise. Create a plan that will build the habit.
Take action. As simple as it sounds, do it. Develop your habit until you can’t go without performing it. This is where the disconnect lies, because a lot of people will stop after 3 days or once they come across a challenge, they’ll stop altogether. Keep performing the action until it becomes second nature to you.
Develop a “no matter what” mindset. When you develop a “no matter what” mindset, it sharpens the habit of becoming persistent. You will mentally feel better, knowing you pushed through and made progress, as opposed to quitting. If you don’t take your daily run because it was raining outside, it will haunt your mind. Maybe you could’ve ran in the rain or done something else to get some type of exercise done. Don’t allow silly things to stop you. Do it, “no matter what.”

Persistence promotes satisfaction, which promotes a peaceful mind. A peaceful mind promotes a restful sleep. A restful sleep promotes a productive start to your day and a clear mind.

The true test of persistence comes when you’re tired, distracted or your plans have been thwarted. Persistence will give you a little more strength when you’re tired, laser focus when you’re distracted and a creative mind to continue your plans.

Learn to become persistent with these tips. You will notice a gradual progression with your goals. By encouraging your habits through persistence, you’ll open yourself to more opportunities.

Don’t live a lazy life – be persistent. Put your best efforts forward everyday and watch your goals unfold!

#BeGoalden

Plant Your Seed

We all think of things we should’ve done a long time ago. Ideas seem to come too late, or do they?

Thoughts and ideas don’t come late, we respond late. When you see something, do you say, “I had that idea 2 years ago!”? It happens to all of us.

You can be mad and stuck on the fact that someone else ‘stole’ your idea and put it out to the world, or you can take the next idea you have and begin working on it.

Often, we have thoughts and ideas and our immediate reaction is, “If this worked, someone would have done it already.” Maybe the world is waiting on you to do it.

Don’t allow your ideas to slip away. Now that we have the internet, we can easily do the research and put things together more easily than before. All you have to do is gather the information you need and start the process.

This doesn’t mean it will be easy. It means you will have access to clues and various material, which gives you the opportunity to figure it out. The rest is up to you.

Of course, if you do nothing, nothing will happen. There’s just the possibility of someone else taking the time and energy to make it work and putting out the same idea.

Don’t get mad, get started.

You have a real chance at making your idea come to fruition. If you begin today, imagine where your idea would be in 5 years. Even if it doesn’t work out, you made a conscious attempt at it. You’ll never have the mental burden of ‘what-if?’.

Put yourself in the mind of being 80 years old. What would be the things you wished you would’ve done? Whatever you come up with, that’s what you should do. As said before, if it doesn’t work out, you did make an honest effort.

Spare yourself the pain of regret. Plant your seed today. If it stays in your mind, it doesn’t happen. Give it the rain and sunshine it deserves. Make it happen by taking action and putting forth a sincere and intentional effort, today.