How Not To Make Your Goals Harder Than They Are

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Thinking about chasing our goals and dreams can seem intimidating. There are no instructions on how to get there, so you have to create your own path through trial and error. This causes us to overthink and make the task harder than it really is.

When we scroll through social media, we see endless posts of people who are supposedly successful and living their dream life. They appear to have already accomplished their goals and want to show you how awesome it is.

Living your dream can be awesome, but don’t get caught up with what you see. If you ask half of those people how they got there, most of them are unable to tell you because it’s all fake. They’re living in someone’s dream world, just not theirs.

Getting started is not as hard as you think.

Don’t make it difficult, just because you don’t have a blueprint. If you consider these 3 tips, you will be able to begin your journey and achieve your goals.

  1. Get clear on what you are doing. Your mind is truly your best asset. Use it to think through your plans and set mini-goals along the way. Do your research and find out what you need, just enough to get started. Don’t be indecisive – you want a fair amount of information, but not too much to where you won’t begin. Once you become clear and take action, some of your journey will unfold before you and guide you to what’s next.
  2. Being overwhelmed doesn’t have to happen. Things can seem overwhelming in your mind. When you see someone who has accomplished their goals, your mind instantly thinks, ‘how do I get there?’ You think of all of the things they had to do to get there and it seems like so much. This can lead to procrastination, but remember, if you don’t start, you won’t finish. It’s not going to happen all in one day, but the key is to take the first step.
  3. Distractions will hinder your progress. There are a million distractions around us, waiting for you to give up your attention to them. Whatever takes your attention away from what’s in front of you is a distraction. Recognize what they are and keep them away. When you see or hear it, put it back in it’s place, somewhere where it won’t bother you. Your job is to remain focused on your task, so you can improve your chances of reaching your goal.

Success Isn’t Easy…

…but it’s not that hard, either. When you figure out what needs to be done and stop allowing your feelings and other distractions to get in your way, it’s very obtainable.

Why not think that you are able to do it? Believe in yourself and disable the negative chatter in your head. It’s just as easy to say, “I can do it, ” as it is to say, “I’ll never be able to do it.” Always put your energy towards positive thoughts.

Take Ownership Of Your Choices

Be aware of your outer environment, as well as what goes on in your head. You could be the reason why you haven’t started – it’s not always something on the outside. You are in charge. Make the right decision and believe that you can do it.

You can only blame your circumstances and your upbringing for so long. Be in control of your thoughts and know that it’s not as hard as you make it out to be.

#BeGoalden

To Hold Yourself Accountable, You Only Need 1 Thing

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Personal accountability is when you hold your actions to the highest standard. Your desire for success pushes you to hold yourself accountable. You need no one to remind or tell you what to do, in order to become a person of excellence.

If you don’t hold yourself accountable for your actions, who is holding you accountable? Does it make sense that someone else is responsible for what you do?

Your ‘Accountability Partner’

Whenever people begin something new, accountability partners always come into play. Does it help? It might, but at the same time, we’re all adults.

Let’s say you have an exercise partner and you hold each other accountable for exercising 5 days a week. The agreement is made and you begin.

Everything starts out fine and then, one day, your partner says she had a very hard day and she just can’t do it. You let her off the hook, just because she asked.

This becomes a habit for the both of you, because if you let her off the hook one day, now, she owes you the same privilege. Before you know it, 5 days a week has shrunk down to once a week.

That Didn’t Work

Now, you’re both still out of shape and talking about getting it together. It doesn’t work that way.

When you have an accountability partner, the point is for the other person to hold your feet to the fire, not to let you get away with silly excuses.

This is where a change needs to happen. If you don’t trust anyone else, TRUST YOURSELF. Have the courage to perform and get the desired results that you want.

The Disconnect

The excuse that we tell the most is, “I don’t have time,” or “I don’t feel like it.”

These may seem like valid excuses, but it’s not enough reason to stop, altogether.

Time is always there. If you’re unable to find time within your regular day, get up earlier or stay up later. Problem solved.

On the other hand, you control your emotions and your mind. There are plenty of times where you won’t ‘feel like’ doing something, but you need to get up and break through that wall.

We’ve become out of shape because we don’t ‘feel like’ exercising. We’ve become accustomed to instant gratification because we don’t ‘feel like’ waiting that long.

Whatever the case may be, you are worthy of self-improvement! Stop being lazy and push that train!

The 1 Thing You Need to Hold Yourself Accountable…

All you need to hold yourself accountable is a mirror. If you don’t have a mirror (because I can hear someone saying, “what if I don’t have a mirror?”), take a selfie.

Hold yourself accountable. Don’t leave your personal progress in someone else’s hands. If you didn’t exercise today, you let yourself down!

It’s an entirely different story when you let yourself down. If I don’t exercise when I’m supposed to, it nags my mind for the rest of the day.

If someone asks me, “How was your run?” I give them some lousy excuse as to why I didn’t do it. They go on about their day, without thinking twice about it.

I go on with my day and that excuse constantly replays in the back of mind. The time I spent debating if I should exercise, I could’ve done it already.

I know that feeling and I don’t like it. Therefore, I push myself to do it and I feel so much better after I’m done and I can move on with a clear and productive mind for the rest of the day.

Hold Yourself Accountable

Hold yourself accountable. Other people will let you down. They’re not as concerned about your success as you are.

Personal accountability is where you connect with your true self. If you want that result, like you say you do, you’ll meet the challenge of making it happen.

No excuse will stop you from achieving your desired result.

#BeGoalden

How To Activate Your Future In 4 Easy Steps

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How do you begin to build your future? You know what your goal is, but how do you make it, so it comes to life?

Goals are a great way to start your life’s plan. Your future is what you make it. The key thing is to be clear on exactly what you want.

Do you want to be a doctor or do you want to be the top doctor in the southeast? Do you want to be a ballerina or do you want to be the best ballerina, with the most appearances in ballerina history?

It may seem silly at first, but this is how you create your future. It won’t just happen on it’s own – you must be specific and deliberate with your thoughts.

Activate Your Future, Now!

  1. Have a goal. The very first thing you need is a goal that you would like to accomplish. There are many people who haven’t even thought about what they want to do with their life – they’re just going with the flow, hoping for a piece of someone else’s success. This is the starting point. What would you like to do in the future that would give you satisfaction everyday?
  2. Get specific. It’s not enough to want to be successful or to make a lot of money. Think of what you would like to do and how well you want to do it. If you want to be a doctor, what kind of doctor? Where would you like to work? Would you like to volunteer in that field? Don’t be afraid to fill in the details.
  3. Take responsibility for your goal. You’ve figured out what you want to do and all of the details. Now, the responsibility is yours. Do the research and create a plan that will get you where you need to be. Whether it gets hard or it falls apart, be responsible and take care of it. Consider what needs to be done and move on it.
  4. Do the work. The most important step is to do the work. Don’t let anybody’s judgment or any type of procrastination get in your way. After you plan your work, you must work your plan. Make the decision to do what needs to be done and don’t stop until you meet your end result.

Win The Battle, Win The War

Know that there will be obstacles and challenges throughout your journey. This is to be expected, but you must work through them. Take it step by step and focus on what’s in front of you. It’s all a part of the process.

Do the things that will push you towards starting. Be definite, intentional and take action. Commit to your daily growth. Everyday, tell yourself that you will be the best foot doctor in the southeast region of the country and don’t stop until you are!

Decide what you want to be and go out and create it – your future is yours to shape. Believe in yourself and trust the process. Nothing can stop you from achieving the life of your dreams.

#BeGoalden

Success Is Not A Destination

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When people say they want to reach success, it sounds like a goal that would take a lifetime. Whatever it is that you want to do, once you’ve done it successfully, there’s this idea that it’s over and you can relax.

If you look at successful people, they are successful because they keep coming up with new ways to add to their success. Just like learning, it never ends.

Most lottery winners lose their money in a short period of time, because they think it will last forever. They don’t do anything to grow what they’ve won – they just continue to spend. The money doesn’t just magically reappear in the bank account – you have to do something with it to enhance it’s growth.

Success is the same way. After you’ve accomplished opening your business, it’s not over. Now, you have to work even harder to keep the business open and ‘alive’.

This could mean having sales around certain holidays or collaborating with other businesses. There are things that need to happen continuously in the background in order for the success to keep thriving.

What does success entail?

Have you ever won a championship game? All of the hard work that it takes to get there goes unseen, but the success occurs when you win. After you win, what happens? Do you wait until next season before you start to practice again, or do you begin to practice during the off season?

If you want to be successful, you have to practice during the off season. It doesn’t happen if you practice when everyone else practices in the beginning of the preseason. You have to take extraordinary measures to ensure that you’ll continue to be successful and outwork the competitor.

Success is not a ‘one and done’ event. When you reach your goal, you want to keep setting your standards higher, so that you can achieve more. If you stop, success goes out the window and you’re back in Average City. You’ll be one of those people always reliving your glory days, saying how you used to be the champ.

How to keep up with your life’s success.

It’s not hard to become successful, it just takes foundational habits (like discipline, focus, consistency, etc.) and time. When you get in the pattern of doing these habits daily, it contributes greatly to your success.

Meet everyday with a strong mindset for growth. When things don’t grow, they usually end up being complacent or they die. Don’t be afraid to do something that challenges you everyday. To be successful means to steadily grow. If you aren’t growing, you’re complacent or dying.

Do things that are out of your reach. You can’t always be comfortable – success means being uncomfortable. That’s where the growth happens. Even if it leads you in the wrong direction, you can always turn around and figure out a new way to complete your goal.

As you can see, success is a journey, not a destination.

As long as you do something constructive towards your future, you will always be successful. Learning, growth and success go hand in hand and they are never ending.

Think forward and be sure that you’re doing something daily that strengthens your end result. Commit to daily progress, even after the success has come. It’s your responsibility to persevere to your highest potential.

“Success is never owned, it’s rented…and the rent is due everyday.” Anonymous

#BeGoalden

Time Is Always Of The Essence

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Often, we live our lives as if we know there will be tomorrow. We’ll procrastinate and put things off or we’ll live in complacency, not being moved to do anything. All because we think, ‘there’s always tomorrow.’

As this may be true, one day, that won’t be the case. Time is always of the essence. Therefore, we should be mindful of how we spend it and who we give it to. People always use the excuse that they don’t have time for their goals, but in reality, all they need to do is remix what’s already on their plate.

  1. Wake up earlier or stay up later. No, you don’t necessarily need to rise early before the sun to be successful, but if you need to find more time, this is one way to get it. Not everyone is an early bird, but there’s time on the other side of the day, too – you can stay up later. Either way, it may cost you a couple of hours of sleep, but it won’t destroy you. If it’s important enough to you, that’s one way you can find more time.
  2. Identify those in-between times. You know those times where you pick up your phone and start to scroll through social media. Before you know it, 45 minutes have gone by, all because you had ‘nothing’ to do. In-between times also include ‘down time’ at work, watching reruns on TV and sitting in traffic on the way to your destination. During those times, you can do something productive or think through your plans.
  3. Weekends aren’t just for relaxing. The weekend is probably the most time you’ll have to work on your goal. Our minds have been conditioned to relax and ‘take a load off’ during the weekend because of the 40 hour work week. While that’s your choice, just know that the weekend consists of 2 unscheduled days to do what you want to do. If that goal is important to you, the weekend is the perfect time to work on it.
  4. Watch TV series, not episodes. Every week, we tune in to different channels to watch our favorite TV shows. With technology today, you can record the entire series or watch it on an app. Instead of literally sitting down every night at 8pm to watch one episode week by week, record the entire series or watch the series once it ends on the app. This way, you can work on your plan every night and binge watch the series. It also eliminates cliffhangers because you’ll see the entire series all at once, without having to wait another week 🙂

These are just a few ways to enhance your time management.

Time is constant and it’s always there – the rhythm never changes.

Rather than saying you don’t have time, be forward thinking and adjust the time that you already have.

You don’t have to wake up every morning at 4am to be successful, but that is a way to find some extra time. If you don’t like the idea of waking up early or staying up late, look for other ways to fine-tune your daily schedule and create a new agenda to follow.

Time is always of the essence because it’s one of the few things that we can never get back. One day, there won’t be a chance to procrastinate, so use your time with intent and focus. With the right strategy, time will always be on your side.

#BeGoalden

4 Tips From A Computer About Work Ethic

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We’ve been on this earth longer than computers. As a matter of fact, we created them. When they came on the scene, computers were the best thing to happen in the workplace. Not only did it make everything more efficient, it also relieved some of the workload from us humans.

Today, computers are everywhere. Some of them have even replaced jobs that used to gainfully employ us. What can a computer do, that humans can’t do? Can we learn from them?

We can learn anything from just about anywhere, but here are some tips on what computers can teach us humans, about work ethic:

  1. Perform regular updates. Computers are never finished. Every now and then, they refresh themselves with an update. They are constantly improving. Some of us stopped learning once we left school. Learning never stops – update yourself by reading and taking time to consume helpful information. Give yourself an upgrade and become a better version of yourself.
  2. Shutdown and restart on a regular basis. Computers need to shutdown and restart themselves, to ensure high performance. You’ll know when to do this when the computer begins to run slow, starts to hiccup while in use or possibly crash. We tend to run ourselves into the ground, also. Take some time and reset yourself. Wearing yourself thin only allows for mishaps to occur. Shutdown, start over and you’ll perform better.
  3. Give results, not excuses. When you type a phrase or question into Google, it doesn’t respond with, “I’m tired – maybe tomorrow – I’m busy right now.” A computer gives you results and nothing else. Even if it gives you the wrong result, it’s better than making an excuse. Let’s stop making excuses for the things we know we should do. When you respond with results instead of excuses, you increase your chances of success.
  4. Virus protection. Most computers come with it now, but remaining healthy is a must. Computers are unable to operate properly when they have a virus. Everything shuts down and a lot of times, it just dies. Like a computer, going without maintaining your health can lead to tragic results. Keep up with your health, so you can continue to function at a high level.

These are everyday suggestions we can take from a computer. They may be machines, but they operate effectively, achieve their tasks in a timely manner and overcome the challenges that are given to them.

It’s not impossible to outwork a computer (anything is possible), but their work ethic is to be praised. They may not be human, but their discipline and output is like no other.

Today, I challenge you to apply these tips to your own life. Start the pattern towards becoming your best self!

#BeGoalden

Increase Your Action To Destroy Your Fear

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Fear keeps us in procrastination mode. We only procrastinate, not because we don’t feel like doing something, but because our fear is keeping us from taking action.

Fear has a way of making us feel comfortable. If we attempt something new, there’s a chance it won’t work and we don’t like that feeling. Therefore, we avoid moving forward, so we won’t have to feel that embarrassment or negative judgment.

How do we overcome fear? Why does it have such a hold on us? Is there a way we can destroy the thought?

How does fear work?

As far as achieving your goals is concerned, fear is not real. Fear is something that you’ve created in your head, so you won’t have to go through the hard work and dedication that it takes to reach a goal.

Think about people who go after what they want. It seems that they have not an ounce of fear in them. They have laser-like focus and nothing stops them. Even if they fail, they automatically turn around and change course, but they continue towards the same goal.

Somewhere down the line, we’ve been brainwashed to avoid pain by being fearful. Therefore, we ignore the failing path to our results, because we don’t want to get hurt by failure.

Failure is nothing more than learning.

When you fail, you know what NOT to do. Now, you can proceed with the knowledge that the first way won’t work. Since you’ve failed at it, you know how to proceed more wisely.

By increasing your action, you destroy your fear. When you fail at something, take another action until you get through it. Don’t waste time by being hurt and giving in to doubtful feelings. You discovered a solution that didn’t work, now you can move forward with finding one that does.

You are your own biggest enemy. If you remove those limiting thoughts and beliefs from your mind, you can accomplish anything. After you have a small win from overcoming that obstacle, you’ll gain confidence and confidence will drive out the fear, more and more.

Your mind will want to give up. It will begin to create excuses. Excuses are another form of procrastination, which is another form of fear. If you take a deep breath and just do it, you’ll see that it’s not as hard as you think it is. If it won’t kill you, do it!

People will also put fear in you through insults and by giving you examples of who tried, but didn’t make it. Know this: that is their insecurity. They will put their fears on you. Don’t listen to them. Instead, give them a little inspiration and show them how it’s done.

It’s not a good idea to tell negative people your goals, because they will only say things to bring you down. Share your ideas with people who can help or who are supportive. Or, you could just keep it to yourself and let your actions speak on your behalf.

Overcoming Fear

The key is to keep taking action. The more action you take, the more your fear will disappear. Don’t hold yourself back by avoiding obstacles. That resistance is the path that will take you to your end result – that’s the path that will carry you to success.

Keep taking action. If you come across a challenge and you don’t know what to do, ask someone who might know or Google it. You are more than capable of figuring out other possibilities to accomplish your goal. Whatever you do, don’t allow fear to drive your dreams away. Instead, drive your fears away by taking continuous action.

#BeGoalden

4 Tips On How To Take Constructive Criticism

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It’s not something everyone enjoys. Constructive criticism is meant to help us become better, but sometimes, we don’t know how to put our feelings aside and effectively listen.

Constructive criticism is when some tells you how you can do something better or more accurate. It’s not meant to hurt your feelings or insult you, but that’s how we take it.

Most people mean well when they tell us how we can improve, but it’s difficult to accept when they actually talk about it. If someone is willing to help by making valuable suggestions, if would serve you well to listen and give it a shot.

  1. Constructive criticism is not meant for you to feel bad. It’s constructive, meaning, it’s meant to be helpful. No one is making fun of you. Listen with the intent to enhance your skills and learn something new.
  2. Put your ego aside. Your ego will get in the way of your success if you don’t have it under control. Everyone is not after you in the wrong way. Break down your wall and genuinely observe what is being said. Be interested in how you can become more effective and productive with your work.
  3. Stop being defensive. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Our first reaction is to get angry, because it’s embarrassing to listen to someone tell you about yourself. If it’s someone you know who means well, be open. Receive it without becoming emotional and defensive.
  4. Realize that it’s to help you. If it’s valuable, take it. If not, you don’t have to do it. Constructive criticism is for your consideration. It’s to be useful and promote progress. If you decide to try it, it could be to your benefit. If it doesn’t, you won’t have to do it again.

If you’re the one giving constructive criticism, know that it’s hard for the other person to acknowledge. There’s a way to break down what you’re saying in a positive light. Never speak with a condescending tone – let them know you’re on their side and want to see them do well.

Giving or receiving, constructive criticism is a hard thing to do. It’s normal for people to feel like they’re already doing things correctly, so it can be hard to take. Just know that everyone is not out to be negative or make you look bad. If you’re in the right environment, people will want to help you be the best that you can be. Graciously accept it and use it to your advantage.

#BeGoalden

3 Ways Being Alone Can Increase Your Productivity

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“I can’t hear myself think!” Those are the words of my mother, whenever it was too loud or she needed to get away from a crowd of people. I never understood what she meant, until I became older.

Some of us have a fear of being alone. We’ve been raised to have a social life and to not be anti-social. We have friends at school, friends at work and our family around us at our every waking moment.

There’s a time to be social and a time to be alone. It can be kind of hard to sift through your thoughts and make decisions when there’s a lot going on around you, so isolating yourself helps.

It’s good to have people around you, but don’t be afraid to be alone at times. Your best productivity can come from being alone.

  1. Being alone encourages us to think our own thoughts. When you’re around other people, you hear many ideas and opinions that may be different from your own. When you’re alone, you have the mental space to discover how you feel about certain things. You have a chance to come up with your own beliefs and standards. There’s no one to bombard you with their thoughts.
  2. Being alone helps you to work independently. It’s easy to hide within a group. Receiving praise or criticism is a lot better when it’s spread around to many people. When you work by yourself, you learn to take full responsibility for what you do. Also, you have complete control over what you’re trying to accomplish. Your creativity has no bounds when you’re working independently.
  3. Being alone allows you to spend time with the most important person – you. Listen to your own thoughts and ideas. Get to know you. Every morning, before you walk out into the world, learn to have peace with yourself. You are in charge of building and becoming the person you want to be. When you know who you are, you’re more comfortable with what goes on outside of yourself.

Sitting with yourself gives you the opportunity to remove yourself from the dramatics of life and to get clear on what you want. It allows you to think through your goals and create effective plans. Others may tell you that being by yourself is weird, but it promotes a sense of wellness and productive independence. You are using your power to create a calmness that only you can give yourself.

There are times where we need to be with ourselves, to recognize what we truly want. We let other people take control of situations without thinking, simply because it’s ‘easier’ at the moment. Sometimes, the talking and all of the commotion can drown out what you really think. By being alone, you give your thoughts and ideas a chance to breathe and come alive. Clarity often comes through isolation.

Anyone can hide in a crowd, but it takes a strong person to stand alone. Take some time to be alone and to ‘hear yourself think’. Experience the wonderful ideas that’s been lurking around in your mind and follow through with action!

#BeGoalden

Change The Path, Not The Goal

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We all want to get there in as little time and pain, as possible. No matter what it is, our logic tells us to take the path of least resistance.

If you haven’t noticed, that path leads no where. It takes you directly to the place where you don’t want to be or back to square one – with the other average people.

The entire point is to get to your goal. You start and you hit an obstacle. That’s what happens. You figure it out (hooray!) and then you continue. Something happens that sets you back two steps. You deal with it.

Your belief in reaching your goal is strong, but a few months in, your faith begins to get a little shaky. “There has to be a better way,” you think.

Doing your best, you come up with a plan and switch your game up. That seems to help! Once again, you’re making progress. You can see the top of the mountain and you’re getting closer and closer.

After turning down dinner with friends, working through the weekends and remaining disciplined and focused, you finally reach your goal!

Congratulations! This is what it takes. Too many of us want the quick and easy way to the end. We want to see it before we even start to move towards it, just to be sure it’ll get us to where we want to be. The only way is to start and feel your way until you get there.

Everyone wants to see the path before they take it.

The Goalden Lady

We can plan that path, but understand that it will not always lead to the desired destination. It’s up to us to not quit – go back to the drawing board and create a new path.

Change the path, not the goal.

Let’s take football, for example. The object of the game is to get to your side of the field, with the football and score a touchdown. Every play that your team makes is important. Sometimes, your team will fumble the football and set you back 20 yards.

Then, you use another plan to throw the ball down the field. It could get intercepted or your team mate could catch it and run as far as they can, without getting tackled.

Or, you could pass the football to the running back for them to run as far as they can, while avoiding getting tackled by the other team.

Your team never stops, even if the ball is turned over to the opposing team – they keep trying with a different plan, to score a touchdown.

Even if the odds are against you to make a touchdown, you can still make an attempt to kick a field goal to get some points (which is still progress).

Both teams change their plans many times to reach their goal, but they never stop. When someone gets hurt, the game may stop for a while, but it continues. The goal still has to be accomplished.

This is how it is with your goals. Have a mindset that never quits. People will ‘tackle’ you and try to push you out of bounds (or away from your goal). Like the relentless football player, you must keep moving down the field until you score a touchdown. There’s no other way.

It’s time to play ‘football’ with your life. Never stop reaching for success. The clock hasn’t run out. Until then, you can keep changing and adjusting your plan an infinite number of times.

Change your path and adjust as often as you need to, but remember to keep the goal in front of you, at all times.

#BeGoalden