power Archives - The Goalden Lady

Finding Your Inner Strength

Inner strength is something that you can not find from anywhere else – it’s inside of you. This means that no one can give it to you or offer it at your convenience.

You feel like you can take on the world when someone encourages you and that’s a great feeling. What happens when there is no one there to give you that motivation? Do you wait for it before you move on or do you somehow create it yourself and go about your day?

Your Emotional Attachment To Opinions

Most people allow the opinion of others to dictate how their day goes. If someone gives you a compliment on your shirt, you’re in a pleasant mood. If someone rudely interrupts your conversation, you’re annoyed and it ruins the rest of your week.

Throughout life, everyone isn’t going to “like your shirt”. It’s nice that you were given a word of kindness, but does it throw you off when you receive the opposite?

Allowing your emotions to be attached to someone else’s opinion is one of the easiest ways to lose yourself. You’ll find yourself always trying to please others and living for what they say about you. You don’t have control over what someone says or thinks about you, but you do have control over how you respond to it.

There are people in the world who live to bring others down. They get their excitement from watching you crumble under their words. Don’t be an easy target – if you know they say certain things to spark a reaction, as simple as it sounds, just don’t react.

No one controls your emotions but you. You have a goal to conquer, so don’t let a little negative comment or action disrupt what you’re doing. It’s all a distraction to keep you down – know that you have the inner strength to ignore it and move on.

Waiting For Permission

Another way you give away your power is by waiting for permission. Growing up, it was the thing to do – you raise your hand to ask to go to the restroom or you ask your mom to go outside and play. Permission has it’s place for certain things, but it shouldn’t become a habit when it comes to your vision.

As an adult, you shouldn’t ask or wait for permission to follow your dream. No one in this world has the blueprint to the perfect life. If you ask, people will mostly give you a negative point of view or a million reasons why it wont’ work. Again, their opinion keeps you from accomplishing your goal.

Create a life where you are in control. Waiting for someone to agree with your idea is a waste of time. If you know what you want to do, do it. If it goes wrong, you learn from it and keep going – time waits for no one.

When others say, “Don’t do that, it’ll ruin your life…” your inner strength says, “Let’s do it and see what happens – you’ll figure it out along the way.” Looking for approval from others never works in your favor.

Imagine what you could do if you followed your own power.

Your Inner Strength Is Already There

Your inner strength is tested everyday. You already have it, you just need to activate it for yourself. Don’t wait for someone else to flip your switch on – you are the source.

Motivation is nice, but it’s best to be your own motivation. You can look to others for inspiration, but at some point, you have to take the reins and inspire yourself. Encouragement feels good, but you can talk to yourself better than anyone else can.

You’d be surprised at how often you give away your emotional energy to others on a daily basis. Find the power to walk your own path. Your inner strength is there – don’t be afraid to use it.

Is Revenge The Only Option?

Thinking of revenge can be a crippling feeling. It happens – someone upsets you or gives you a hard time. They have no idea how they make things worse for you, so you want to get back at them.

You feel some kind of way. In your mind, you think of all the ways you can get even with this person. All you want to do is give them a taste of their own medicine.

We hear people say things like, “sweet revenge” or “revenge is a dish best served cold…” Is revenge really the best way to go about making things better?

Revenge Doesn’t Make You Feel Better

Of course, it feels good to get back at someone. They have no idea how much they hurt you or make things harder for you. All you want to do is get back at them and feel good about it.

Does it really make you feel better? Most people would say yes, but actually, it may have the opposite effect. When you get revenge on someone, most of the time, it makes you feel bad in the end.

In theory, you should feel better, but you don’t. Most times, you end up feeling just as bad for getting back at them. You begin to realize that’s not the person you really are and you’ve stooped down to their level.

The bigger person understands that getting even is not always the best idea. There are other ways to go about getting back at someone, but when you turn around and use the same lowdown strategy that they used on you, there’s a strong possibility that it can make things worse.

There’s Something Deeper Going On

For them, it could be fun to see someone else suffer, just to get a laugh out of the crowd or something could be bothering them on a deeper level than anyone can see.

When people are negative or disrespectful towards you, most of the time, it goes deeper than we can see. They may have some internal issues going on that they don’t know how to handle (things aren’t right at home, they lost their job or something just didn’t go right).

They need an outlet, so they take it out on an easy target. Some people don’t know what to do with their feelings, so they lash out at whoever’s in front of them. It’s a way to ease their own troubles (or so they think) and it takes that burning attention away from them.

It may seem silly, but this is a way that a lot of people escape their own reality or whatever they’re dealing with. Yes, it’s wrong and irresponsible, but know that you don’t have to be wrong back at them, just to prove a point.

Reacting is the first thing you think of when someone treats you this way. Your first thought is “how can I get back at them?” Instead, try thinking, “Something is bothering them and I’m the target.”

Let It Go

There’s no one, concrete answer on how to deal with wanting revenge, but one thing you can do is not allow it to get the best of you.

When you start to think about revenge, it can take you down a dark path. It can consume your energy and your mind. When you’re doing other things, all you can think about is how to get back at them.

You may not realize this, but this person now has control over you because you’ve given them power to get under your skin. Basically, you’re saying, “I give you the power to control how I feel and to make me feel bad all day.”

Before you know it, you’re always in a foul mood. No matter where you go or what you do, it means nothing because you’re constantly thinking about this person and how they made you feel.

They are now living in your head and you’re unable to see and enjoy what’s in front of you. That’s a lot of power to give someone who isn’t even in your space.

Control Your Own Actions

Instead, take your power back. You may not be able to control what they do, but you can control your own emotions and how you respond. Don’t give them your energy by falling into the trap they set for you.

Don’t fall into the trap of someone else having authority over your life. Live your life and be the best you can be – you can believe that they’re watching and waiting for you to fall again.

Take that power away from them and be the bigger person. Let them see you stay calm and positive. This hurts them because they see that it has no effect on you – what they’re doing to you isn’t working. Once you react to them, that’s when you give them power.

So don’t react – respond with kindness. By doing this, you’ll take away their power and they won’t know what to do. Some may continue to go on, but eventually, they’ll run out of steam. Game over – you win, without revenge.

Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

#BeGoalden

The Power In Your Potential

We think we know our own potential. Most of us have been living our lives according to what other people think and that’s not your potential. In fact, it goes further than you think.

Your potential is infinite – there is no end to your ability to do anything. We say to ourselves, “I can do anything!” The real question isn’t whether you can do it or not, but will you actually put in the necessary time and effort to do it?

How Do You Think Of Your Potential?

Everyone has the capability to do what they please. If that’s the case, why is it so difficult to follow through and achieve your plan?

There’s no doubt that there’s power in thinking and saying you can do something. An idea starts in the mind. You are responsible for growing it to it’s fullest potential.

You give up power when you let other people’s judgments guide you. You ask for their opinion and trick yourself into thinking that you need their approval. Sometimes, you just want an audience to cheer you on before you start.

The absolute power is in the act of doing it for yourself. We all know that anyone is capable of doing anything. Have the confidence to make it happen, whether others support you or not.

Use Your Power For Yourself

If you’ve made it this far, you’re ahead of the crowd. You can talk about accomplishing your goals all day long, but nothing will work, unless you do.

Instead of wanting others to support you and validate your ideas, do it for yourself. They can’t see your vision, because it’s yours. Put forth the physical effort by showing up and doing the actual work.

Hold yourself accountable. It may help to have an accountability partner, but in the end, it’s up to you whether you will do it or not. When it gets hard, other people will easily tell you to take it easy or say ‘I told you so.’ It’s not important to them like it is to you. Don’t let yourself down.

You must be fine with others not liking your ideas. Be comfortable with negative feedback and the criticism that comes along with your journey. Be persistent and carry out your idea towards your potential. Keep others and their distractions at a distance.

Will You Do It?

Are you strong enough to stick with your idea, even when everyone else thinks it’s impossible? Do you still see your own light? Yes, it can be hard, but there are other places where you can find support and encouragement.

The internet has allowed the world to connect through the touch of a screen, or with the click of a mouse. You are no longer held captive within one specific environment.

There are motivational blogs to read – even social media can be a great support, IF you follow the right people. Select a podcast that serves your motivational interests and feeds your mind with inspiration.

Join a group of people who are on the same growing path as you. This will allow you to connect with positive energy and will benefit you moving forward.

Potential Is Power

Don’t be discouraged by others. It’s easier to insult and criticize someone, than it is to be helpful. Keep your eye on the prize and be disciplined enough to battle through your limits.

By using your resources wisely, you’ll be able to find the right community that shares the same hunger for achieving the impossible.

Understand that you won’t find your power in other people. You have to find it within yourself. Always bet on you – others may count you out before you even start, but know that you have the focus and discipline to push through to the end.

Stop Giving Power To Your Past

Giving your power to your past is one of the biggest personal distractions you can allow. Situations that you keep re-thinking over and over again, can keep you complacent.

Whatever situations that have happened in the past can push you, or hold you back. Instead of recalling the success and productive moments of our lives, we unconsciously prefer to remember the negative moments.

No one wants to go back and relive the distressing and awkward moments and with good reason – but what if you could use those moments to create a more productive outlook?

The Good Times

Reminiscing about the good times with family and friends always brings about good feelings. You look back and remember how things were simple and the little silly things you did that made life adventurous.

Those feelings are very strong. It puts everyone in a good mood and lightens up the atmosphere. Everyone wishes that they could go back in time and relive those moments.

When The Past Holds You Hostage

On the other hand, when we think about setting goals and the vision of the future, our minds go south. We remember how everything went wrong the first time we did public speaking, or how we lost the Spelling Bee by misspelling a simple word.

Those feelings are stronger than the good feelings, because they hold you back. Something is reminding you that you don’t want to be embarrassed or make more mistakes. In this instance, you lose your power.

In essence, you’re ending your journey before it even starts. The distractions of the past have frozen your ability to move.

Pick Up Your Feet And Get Moving

As you know, the most important step of success is taking action. The only thing that matters is how to get to the next point.

Before that, you must be in a good mental space. Nothing starts without a thought or an idea, so let’s think positive. Things will go wrong, but be strong enough to know that you will figure it out and above all, you’ll be fine.

All of the mistakes you ever made in your life? That’s feedback. Those things that you call problems? Those are not problems, they’re challenges. The way you look at things can make a world of difference with how you perform.

Shift Your Perspective, Find Your Power

Yes, it’s difficult to forget the bad times in your life. You don’t want to repeat the same negative process over again.

The things that make you feel uncomfortable is where the lessons are. If you must think about it, look at it from a different angle and find a productive solution – don’t just remember it and exhaust yourself all over again.

Use your past to your advantage. You’re robbing yourself if you allow it to keep you from building your future. You are capable of more than you think. Instead of thinking, “I won’t make it,” think, “If I do it this way, it could work.”

When you shift your perspective, things will start to happen. You have the power to open your mind and believe beyond what you think you can achieve. If you can control how you think about your past (especially when it comes to your goals), you will definitely have more control over your future.

#BeGoalden

Make The Decision To Believe In Yourself

If you are the type of person who has no problem with believing in yourself, you’ve pretty much already won at life. For those of us who have a bit more trouble…

Are you aware of this massive power that you have in your possession? Everyday when you wake up, you can decide to be as courageous or as cowardly as you want to be.

Some of us allow outside influences to make that decision for us, so we just go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens.

There are others of us who make that decision every single day and we choose to be as happy and confident as we want to be. Nothing’s going to bring us down — we can handle it!

Why can’t we all be that way?

We are all born into different environments. Some grew up in a loving, forward-thinking home and others grew up in a negative, stagnant way of thinking home.

When your surroundings are positive and motivating, it’s easy to believe in yourself. Everyone is always rooting for you and they acknowledge your efforts.

When your surroundings are negative, there is no acknowledgement for anything. Everyone is stuck in the same place, with the ‘it’s always been like this,’ mentality. The possibility of doing any better is nonexistent.

Although your environment doesn’t determine your outcome 100%, it does play a major part.

It’s hard to go against the grain in a bad environment. The easy way out would be to accept what everyone else is doing and continue to ‘go with it.’

The harder thing to do is be proactive. Even when people say negative things to you 20 times a day, you find a way to turn it around.

“I won’t give in.”
“I can break the cycle.”
“I can do better than this.”
“I don’t want to end up like them.”

This is what pushes you ahead. Although they keep telling you that you’re no better than them, you believe that you are and you can do better.

On the other hand, some people believe in themselves so much, they abuse it and think they can do whatever they want.

When you become used to things turning out in your favor, your efforts can become lazy. You don’t stop after success happens — you have to put in even more effort to keep it going.

As you can see, your environment can work for you or against you. Some people want to break out of their negative environment so bad, they do the total opposite of what’s around them.

Others come from such a positive environment, they expect people to believe in them everywhere they go. When they come across a set of people who really don’t care, they become depressed and fall into a trap of believing what others say about them.

These scenarios don’t happen with everyone, but again, the environment does have an effect on a person’s self-belief.

Let’s teach our children to believe in themselves, no matter what others say or think about them. Teach them that everyone is not going to be encouraging of everything they do. Some people will tease them just to get under their skin.

Most of all, teach them that their self worth is not determined by what others think. Believing in yourself can be difficult, but with the right foundation and mindset, we can push ourselves farther than our thoughts can take us.

Just make that decision every morning. I am courageous. I am beautiful. I am helpful. I am worthy. I am powerful.

Don’t wait for permission (you don’t need it) or for somebody else to tell you (you know it better than they know it). Believe it!

#BeGoalden

As published on Medium.com.

Own Your Best Self

Being your best everyday takes mental effort. You can wake up and decide to be confident in your abilities or you can decide to be lazy and unproductive.

Having a choice is a huge advantage. You’re capable of designing your day and your life. It’s the small, daily efforts that push you in the right direction towards your dream.

Your life is your responsibility. Are you going to sit back and see where it goes or are you going to take control and lead the way?

When we put ourselves in negative positions, it holds back our potential. The garbage that surrounds us and enters our minds, will eventually begin to sink into our vision.

When all you see are bad things around you, you’ll think that these bad things are what you deserve. It robs you of your strength to move forward and encourages a ‘lack’ mentality.

Don’t be a victim to your own pessimistic thoughts.

It’s so easy to allow that type of thinking to control your life. It’s easy to be negative, easy to hate, easy to throw insults, easy to not care, easy to be weak.

Don’t treat having a choice as an obstacle. We no longer have to wait on information. There’s no gatekeeper sizing you up to see if you belong. We’ve been so used to being one way, we don’t know how to get up and use our own power to move. Give yourself permission to decide.

Why not choose to be polite, intelligent, confident, loving and kind? Why not choose to be respectful, instead of vulgar? Productive, instead of complacent? Courageous, instead of fearful?

You are not one dimensional – humans have the ability to overcome anything, big or small! All you have to do is believe and make that decision.

You may say, “…but, it’s not that easy…”.

It may not be easy, but it certainly is possible. If there are people out there who can mentally and physically do more with less, surely you can find your potential and do it, too!

Whatever it is, take responsibility for it. It’s yours – the only thing stopping you, is you. Yes, it will take hard work, but the lessons learned and opportunities gained along the way are priceless.

Use your power to say, “I can!” Own your best self. Don’t claim being unhealthy, stagnant, or average. It’s time to put those negative thoughts to rest and start thinking with that hidden power within you.

Don’t hope to be the best, BE the best. Hope can only take you so far. Put some effort into designing your life. After all, it is your choice.

Go after your life with intent and OWN it!