mindset Archives - Page 8 of 18

#TBT: Don’t Make Your Goals Harder Than They Are

Thinking about chasing our goals and dreams can seem intimidating. There are no instructions on how to get there, so you have to create your own path through trial and error. This causes us to overthink and make the task harder than it really is.

When we scroll through social media, we see endless posts of people who are supposedly successful and living their dream life. They appear to have already accomplished their goals and want to show you how awesome it is.

Living your dream can be awesome, but don’t get caught up with what you see. If you ask half of those people how they got there, most of them are unable to tell you because it’s all fake. They’re living in someone’s dream world, just not theirs.

Getting started is not as hard as you think.

Don’t make it difficult, just because you don’t have a blueprint. If you consider these 3 tips, you will be able to begin your journey and achieve your goals.

Get clear on what you are doing. Your mind is truly your best asset. Use it to think through your plans and set mini-goals along the way. Do your research and find out what you need, just enough to get started. Don’t be indecisive – you want a fair amount of information, but not too much to where you won’t begin. Once you become clear and take action, some of your journey will unfold before you and guide you to what’s next.
Being overwhelmed doesn’t have to happen. Things can seem overwhelming in your mind. When you see someone who has accomplished their goals, your mind instantly thinks, ‘how do I get there?’ You think of all of the things they had to do to get there and it seems like so much. This can lead to procrastination, but remember, if you don’t start, you won’t finish. It’s not going to happen all in one day, but the key is to take the first step.
Distractions will hinder your progress. There are a million distractions around us, waiting for you to give up your attention to them. Whatever takes your attention away from what’s in front of you is a distraction. Recognize what they are and keep them away. When you see or hear it, put it back in it’s place, somewhere where it won’t bother you. Your job is to remain focused on your task, so you can improve your chances of reaching your goal.

Success Isn’t Easy…

…but it’s not that hard, either. When you figure out what needs to be done and stop allowing your feelings and other distractions to get in your way, it’s very obtainable.

Why not think that you are able to do it? Believe in yourself and disable the negative chatter in your head. It’s just as easy to say, “I can do it, ” as it is to say, “I’ll never be able to do it.” Always put your energy towards positive thoughts.

Take Ownership Of Your Choices

Be aware of your outer environment, as well as what goes on in your head. You could be the reason why you haven’t started – it’s not always something on the outside. You are in charge. Make the right decision and believe that you can do it.

You can only blame your circumstances and your upbringing for so long. Be in control of your thoughts and know that it’s not as hard as you make it out to be.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Focus On Minding Your Own Business

Distractions are all around us and that’s where our focus goes. It’s hard to avoid – it’s on your phone, TV and at work. Some businesses are even built around capturing your attention with these distractions.

When we get caught up scrolling through social media and mindlessly watching TV (among other things), we lose ourselves. We think about everything else, except what we’re doing with our own lives.

What Do You Focus On?

Everyone has an opinion. We participate in conversations and listen to what’s happening around us and we automatically have our own version of what we would do in that situation.

Our minds are constantly working. It’s important to have productive discussions on different things, but you don’t have to give a response to everything, all the time.

We’re so used to putting our two cents in about other people’s business that we forget our own. Our focus becomes what we think about what’s going on outside of us, as opposed to what’s going on within ourselves.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

This is why celebrities are rich – we constantly give our attention to them, as if it really matters, and they continue to become bigger distractions.

Imagine if you didn’t pay attention to what the president said today. What if you didn’t pay attention to the latest scandal? If you didn’t pay attention to that celebrity and what happened on their yacht?

These are all distractions. When you give away your concentration to things that don’t affect you and your life, it’s a distraction. Yes, it’s entertaining on some level, but some of us forget that we have a life of our own to design.

Giving your attention to something is the same as giving away your energy. It takes energy to focus. Don’t give your energy away to someone or something else to the point where you neglect yourself. Your life deserves to have your energy and attention. Besides, who else is crafting your life, but you?

Be Your Own Distraction

Instead of worrying about why your favorite football player is not starting in the game, focus on why you haven’t started in your own game.

When you direct your focus on something other than yourself, it takes away from your goals. Time is of the essence and we must take responsibility for our actions daily.

This won’t happen if you’re continuously glued to your device. Let your own life be your distraction. Focus on your plan, so you can become successful like the people you are being distracted by.

Concentrate On Your Own Business

If it’s not going to change anything in your life, leave it alone. What Kim Kardashian wore yesterday shouldn’t dominate your thoughts and conversation. She’s not helping you in any way.

You can like her all you want to, but don’t forget about your life, by being wrapped up in her life. She already has her millions – do you have yours?

You are in control of where your attention goes, how you think and your path to greatness. Be confident enough to live the life of your dreams and stop watching others live the life of their dreams. You are worthy of your own focus and success.

#BeGoalden

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with it’s twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out,

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,

It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the victor’s cup,

And he learned too late when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far,

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –

It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

-Author Unknown

#BeGoalden

Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

#BeGoalden

Dealing With Your Flaws And Mistakes

Who do you look up to? Have you ever seen them make a big mistake while performing their craft? Did they expose a flaw you didn’t know they had?

Whether it’s a celebrity, someone who owns a Fortune 500 company, or old Joe from down the street, everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. It may be embarrassing at the time, but it’s something we have to learn to get over.

Your Feelings Get In The Way

Everyone has had an embarrassing moment that they wished never happened. Even Oprah took a dive on stage at an event, but got back up and continued her talk.

We see people like Oprah and we think nothing of it, because they’re well known, so it doesn’t matter. Did it faze her? Maybe a little, but not enough to stop her. Was she physically hurt? Probably so, but she didn’t let it get in the way of what she was doing.

Are you the same way? Most people let their feelings get in the way, even if the situation is not that bad. When something happens that causes you to feel some kind of way, you want to run and hide. No one likes to be the center of attention in their moment of pain.

Flaws Exist In Everyone

Embarrassment is too much to handle when we don’t know how to respond. What if Oprah would’ve left in the middle of her talk because she felt annoyed at falling down in front of a crowd?

Having flaws is a part of life. Messing up happens along the journey. Making mistakes is how we learn. The best way to respond is to move on, without remaining stuck in that moment.

If you need to apologize, then apologize. If you need to correct it, correct it. Giving your energy to something that has already happened can lead to halting your progress. Continue to be productive – there’s no need to hold on to the past with your feelings.

Be Calm And Carry On

Most of the time, it’s only a big deal if you make it a big deal. Imagine stopping every time you felt incapable or you made a mistake – you would never accomplish anything.

Focus your energy on the results that you want. Anticipate the obstacles and challenges, because they will happen. Be your own super hero and fight through whatever gets in your way! It may slow you down, but it shouldn’t stop you.

Unfortunately, setbacks never go away, but they do make you stronger. It helps you to become more flexible when the unexpected happens. Develop the habit of making adjustments when things go left and it will work to your advantage.

Handle your flaws, and everything in between, with grace. You have the power to thrive in any situation, even in those embarrassing moments. Don’t be distracted and react – face it with confidence and continue to move forward, mistakes, flaws and all.

#BeGoalden

Attaching Yourself To Other People’s Problems

Do you take on other people’s problems? Is your life really overwhelming, or do you make it overwhelming? There’s a fine line between accepting your own challenges and accepting everyone else’s.

Your friend tells you what happened and they want your advice. At work, your co-worker confides in you about issues at home. Everyday, you get a dose of other people’s problems.

Are other people’s problems really your mountains to climb? Do you carry the baggage with you, even though it’s not yours?

O.P.P. (Other People’s Problems)

Everyone has issues. We’re all attempting to navigate this life the best we can. How can you be effective at finding a solution for yourself, when you’re bombarded with other people’s problems?

There is a certain point where you need to be selfish with your advice. You must cut yourself off from being involved in their drama. It’s nice to offer a listening ear, but don’t get emotionally attached to the entire situation.

Showing concern is the polite thing to do. It’s interesting and you want to know how it goes and what happened. This can go on and on – it’s like a soap opera happening in real time. At times, it can sound more exciting than your own life.

Other people’s problems can easily become a hobby of yours. People like to come to you all of the time because you offer great guidance. Don’t let their situations consume your mind space. It’s easy to become too curious – their problems become your problems and their emotions become your emotions.

It’s not rude to break away for your own sanity. Once you’re done talking and providing a listening ear, leave it there. Go on about your life and do what you’re going to do. The next time you see them, be considerate, but don’t take it with you.

Focus On What’s In Front Of You

What are you doing now? Are you fully present with focus, or is your mind distracted by other floating thoughts?

That’s what happens when you take on the mental weight of your friend’s issues. We tend to think about others before we think of ourselves. It makes us feel like we’re helping them and they need us.

The issues that you’re dealing with in front of you need a solution. When you allow your mind to drift, you’re not being fair to yourself. Put other people’s problems (that don’t belong to you) to the side and concentrate on you.

Don’t carry confusion with you from one place to another. Pay attention to the present moment and give it your all. You’re wasting time and energy by trying to solve mysteries that don’t belong to you.

The Side Effects Of O.P.P.

Making yourself accessible to others can be emotionally draining. The feelings that go into these situations can literally wear you down. Limit your availability to the drama in other people’s lives.

If you let it, it will become your issue and others will look to you to create a solution for them, as well. It’s no longer their challenge to overcome. You must draw the line and give them space to handle it themselves. Again, it’s not your mountain to climb.

Learn to step away. Leave the baggage where you found it. Move on with your intentions and be fully present with what you’re facing. Don’t defeat yourself, by trying to help everyone else win.

Everyone has to be responsible for their own issues. You can help every now and then, but don’t become the problem-solver for them. Be a good listener, offer a helpful word and leave it there. You can be supportive of others without taking on their challenges. Bring your focus back to being effective and forward moving with your own life.

#BeGoalden

Make The Commitment To Do Your Best Everyday

Commitment begins with a thought or an idea. The goal is to stick with the task, so that you can incrementally improve day by day.

You have an unspoken responsibility of becoming the best person you can be. No one has to tell you this, you just know. Laziness can kick in at any time, followed by complacency.

To become better and more productive, you must make a commitment. How do you start? What does it mean to be committed?

Identify Your Commitment

When you commit to something, you make a conscious effort to do it consistently. No matter what you decide to do, a commitment has to be made first.

Do you want to lose weight? Start by committing to drinking a glass of water and an evening walk everyday. Are you ready to take control of your finances? Commit to saving ten dollars a week. Want to study history? Do the research and find the right books to read and documentaries to watch.

Identify what you want to do and go for it. Most times, we think about what we want to do, but we never get around to actually doing it – that’s because a commitment was never made.

Establish what it is that you want to achieve, commit and take the first step.

How To Make Your Commitment Stick

It may be difficult for you to commit to a personal goal – it happens to everyone. Comfort sneaks in and takes over any challenge you had in mind. How can you make a commitment stick?

One strategy you can use is writing it down. Creating a list of things to do will hold you accountable for taking action. Instead of relying on your memory to do something, write it down. Writing it down makes it official. You won’t get away with conveniently forgetting about it and it allows you to ‘see’ what needs to be done, so you can plan accordingly.

If writing it down isn’t your thing, find a responsible person to hold you accountable. This should be someone you trust. If you don’t perform your committed task, the consequences should be something uncomfortable, like paying them one hundred dollars. You wouldn’t want to give up that kind of money, therefore, you’ll do your best to follow through. Check in at a certain time with this person everyday to be sure you are staying committed to your goal.

Be Relentless

Making a commitment doesn’t work unless you’re consistent with your actions. You have to be ready to see past the distractions and adapt to change. If not, the whole idea of being committed to your idea simply won’t happen.

If you make a commitment and it doesn’t work out, that’s fine. It’s not the end of the world. You always have the choice to do it again. Has success ever come easily on the very first attempt?

Your will encounter adversity of some sort. You will have to shift in order to keep going. Be relentless with your commitment. If you’re serious about reaching your goal, you’ll do what’s necessary to get there.

Your ambition and determination should drive your commitment. You must be convinced that no matter what happens, you won’t give in to negative ideas and people. When it does happen, you must make the adjustment and adapt to the new plan.

Are You Ready?

Making a commitment says a lot about you. It says that you’re focused and decisive about what you want to do. Too many people drift into a life of nothingness, by giving away their advantage. The power is within you, but you have to be intentional and use it proactively.

Like anything else, it takes time and effort to be committed to your plan. Don’t be the one who stops at every obstacle you come across. Trust yourself to build the future of your dreams. You don’t have to start big – don’t let someone else’s accomplishments deter you from beginning your journey. Everyone has to start somewhere.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Take baby steps. Make the commitment and take the responsibility to grow into your greatness.

#BeGoalden

Claim The Life That’s Meant For You

Claim The Life You Were Meant To Live, Without The Pleasing

Have you ever thought about what type of life you really want to live? Is it something that you mindfully work towards everyday?

Somewhere in life, you started paying more attention to what others thought about you, than what you thought about yourself. Something (or someone) told you that it’s important to please and impress others and you took it too far.

These people are pleasers and there are three types: the People Pleaser, the Parent Pleaser and the Pity Pleaser.

The People Pleaser

Some people are people pleasers – they’re unable to function in life, unless they know they are in someone’s good graces. They’ve basically built their life at the convenience of others.

If you ask a people pleaser what they want, they’ll ask someone else before they give an answer. Everything is based upon going with the popular opinion, so they won’t be the odd one out. If someone puts them on the spot, they’d rather die than to give their own honest opinion.

Now, it’s blown into an unconscious habit where they’re constantly looking for opportunities to be someone’s friend, or to be that ‘like-able’ person. It’s important to be presentable and decent towards other people, but don’t cross the line by making it your life’s mission.

The Parent Pleaser

We all start off as parent pleasers. As children, we want the approval of our parents, so we strive for that acceptance because we like the positive feedback. At this moment in time, we don’t know any better because we’re growing little humans and we haven’t experienced much of the outside world.

The unfortunate thing is, some of us never grow out of being a parent pleaser. We constantly look for the chance to impress them by following the path they set out for us. The last thing we want to do is disappoint mom and dad.

This isn’t totally on the child – some parents take advantage of their children by constantly telling them what they should do, what they should wear or where they should go. They leave no room for the child to think independently.

As a teen growing into an adult, you should be able to think for yourself. Mom wants you to be a lawyer, but you want to be an artist. If mom doesn’t get her way, she’ll be mad, so you don’t do it. This can go on for the rest of your life and before you know it, your life has passed you by.

The Pity Pleaser

A pity pleaser is the person who has always experienced anything worse than you. If you tell them about the time you were hit by a truck, they’ll tell you about the time they were hit by two trucks. They look for someone to outdo to make them appear more interesting.

Pity pleasers have the unique ability to make everything all about them. No one else can have a better (or worse) story than they have. Every time someone is going through a challenging time, they’ve always gone through something even more challenging.

There’s no beating the pity pleaser, as they take pride in being better at being the worst. No one has ever had it more rough than them. They feel like they deserve your sorrow and pity support.

Claim Your Life

All of these people have built their lives around what others think of them. For some reason or another, they never leveled up to being personally accountable for their own thoughts and actions.

Everyone has to take responsibility, but the majority of the responsibility lies with you. Pleasers allow their lives to be led by other people. In the end, they’ve realized that they didn’t live their own lives and wished they had.

Think about what you want. It may hurt someone else’s feelings, but you must go out and claim your life! Do what’s best for you, without worrying about who thinks what. No one can live it better than you!

It’s not disrespectful to disagree with other’s opinions, but you are disrespecting yourself by not living and thinking to your own full potential. Claim the life that’s meant for you – live through the rights and wrongs, the successes and the mistakes because it is your unique journey.

You’ll never achieve living the life that someone else wants you to live. Give up being a pleaser and experience the world through your own thoughts and actions.

#BeGoalden

How To Change A Bad Past Into A Bright Future

Judging your future by your past impedes your progress and stifles your potential. If you have control over the possibilities, why not stretch and see how far you can go?

What is holding you back at this moment? Is there something you want to do, but that invisible voice keeps giving you excuses and telling you it’s not possible?

We’ve all experienced the doubts and fear that creeps into our minds, convincing us that it won’t work. All it takes is a few seconds of listening and we decide to play it safe, without even putting forth an effort.

Effort and failure is what carries you to success. Giving up because it didn’t work the last time you tried, is not the way to go – get out of your past and take action towards a better future.

The Past Is Your Teacher

Learning from the past can be a good blueprint for life. There are unfortunate things that happened, which you don’t care to experience anymore. This is helpful when making quick decisions.

Things like not putting your hand on a hot stove, or wearing a seat belt while riding in a car – those things can prevent significant harm or save your life altogether. Because of this, you depend on your past to help you in the future.

All of the various situations you experience in the past can contribute to how you live your life, currently. Some good, some bad, but it’s up to you to determine how it allows you to move forward.

The present is always happening. Your mind is constantly having thoughts and reacting to stimuli. Your past has a tremendous influence on each moment, as it occurs. How does this affect you in your everyday life?

The Past Doesn’t Decide Your Future

Sometimes, you can let your past dictate your present and future. Unconsciously, you can hold your present hostage by reacting with what you know, as opposed to doing something different to change the outcome.

If you had a bad business deal in the past, it doesn’t mean that every business deal will be bad. If you failed a science test, it doesn’t mean that you’ll fail every science test in the future.

Just because something went wrong the first time around doesn’t mean it will go wrong forever, whenever it happens. When it’s in your control to change the outcome, think of how you can adjust the details to make it work.

Turn the hot stove off, instead of touching it. Get past references before doing a business deal. Attempt to study in a different place before the science test. It is your responsibility to build your future by correcting the mistakes of the past.

How Analysis Paralysis Occurs

Analysis paralysis is a real obstacle. It’s when you overthink or consume so much information, you end up not doing anything at all. It’s better to proceed and make a mistake, because you learn what not to do and can make another attempt. Sitting still and not doing anything because of your fear of what might happen, is not effective.

Researching information is necessary for making decisions, but if you give yourself too many options, you’ll end up doing nothing. You’re so full of different choices, you become unable to make a move. The confusion alone becomes the new issue that needs to be conquered.

Realize that consulting with your past has it’s benefits. If anything, it should assist you in moving forward more strategically, putting you in a place to win. The rear view mirror is used to make better decisions, not to see how terribly wrong things might turn out.

It’s also important to note that you shouldn’t live in your past. Get whatever information and logic you need in order to make intentional moves, but don’t get stuck there. Some people will stay in the past a little too long and begin to overthink the outcome and hinder their growth. This is a common path to analysis paralysis.

Intentional Decisions

When thinking through a situation, you normally go back to your own understanding and experience, but your experience isn’t the only way to creating a definite solution.

If you grew up with parents who were drunk all of your life, you can make one of two decisions. Your experience will either teach you to be a drunk parent, or it will teach you that you don’t want to be a drunk parent. You may have experienced it, but it doesn’t mean you have to follow through in that particular way.

Make intentional decisions. Use your past experiences to make calculated moves in the future. It doesn’t make sense to make the same mistakes repeatedly, especially if you know better.

You can change your outlook on life by making forward-thinking choices. Allow your past to guide you, but don’t let it drive you down the same road that leads to nowhere. Let it give you the boost you need to make more intelligent and constructive choices. Everyone has a past – don’t let yours define you.

#BeGoalden

Adversity: How To Get Back Up, When You Fall Down

Things seem to be going along just fine, and then, out of nowhere – you encounter some type of adversity. Life happens and screws up your plans. You’re left wondering what went wrong, among other confusing questions.

As you can see, life doesn’t go according to your plan. There’s no doubt that it stings, but at the same time, you don’t have to sit there and take it. This is simply a new starting point, perhaps even a rebirth, of your life.

Life Happens

When things occur unexpectedly, your first reaction is emotional. Thoughts of guilt and self-pity flood your mind, as you become more and more discouraged.

It doesn’t help that your friends and family are supporting those negative feelings. They pat you on the back and tell you everything will be fine. Some will provide an escape for you – “I knew your boss didn’t like you – that car saw you coming and they still hit you…” They think it’s helping, but actually, it relieves you of the responsibility of having a more positive outlook.

Yes – responsibility. “But it wasn’t my fault…” you say. This may be true, but the responsibility of fixing it and moving on, is yours. No one else can do this for you, so you have to hold yourself accountable, even if you did nothing wrong. You can wait for someone to save you (which some people do), but then, you’d be neglecting the skills you’re about to build to become a better person.

Get away from the chatter and allow yourself some time to think things through. You know how messed up it is – you don’t need others to confirm that for you. After your emotions settle, the next step is to figure out what you’re going to do to gain some ground.

Being overly emotional never helps, even though it’s the first thing most people do. All the whimpering and whining only drags you deeper into a downward spiral of darkness. It doesn’t make the situation any better, but it makes you feel comfortable.

We think of how horrible it was and who to blame because it didn’t work out. It’s easy to point the finger at someone else. How often do we think of it as an opportunity? Not only can you start over the way you want to, but you will strengthen your skills and stretch your abilities as you go.

Facing Adversity

How do you pull through, when it seems everything is working against you? One thing you don’t want to do is work against yourself. When your emotions take over, that’s when you start to play ‘victim’.

That’s not what we’re going to do. History shows that humans are creative and resilient during times of challenge. There are plenty of examples of people who hit rock bottom, only to rise and touch the sky.

It’s been proven – if you’re human, you can do this.

First, go ahead and let your emotions out. Cry, curse, scream – do whatever it is you need to do. It’s not good to hold all of that unworthy, negative energy inside your body. It only leads to more anxiety and stress, which you certainly don’t need right now.

Here’s where it gets tricky – don’t stay in your emotions. Have your emotions, but don’t live there. This is where people get stuck, because they don’t want to face any more adversity than they have to. They stay in those ‘victim’ thoughts, only to never rebound.

Second, make a list of things you need to do in order to move forward and out of your slump. The day can easily get away from you when you don’t have it written down. Checking things off of your list gives you a sense of accomplishment and a new positive perspective on what you are capable of doing.

Third, start moving. Studies show that movement and exercise improves your mood and brain activity. It also helps tremendously with your stress levels. Once you start moving, your brain will turn on and begin generating new ideas. You’ll start to actively think, instead of being stuck in your feelings.

Fourth, take care of your responsibilities. Don’t let everything fall apart, just because of a hiccup in your life. You’re still in control and your obligations don’t stop, so continue to handle them.

The World Still Turns

You can either lay down and take it, or you can stand up and take it. It won’t be the last time you experience adversity, so it’s best to know what to do now, so you can be stronger and handle it better the next time. Be flexible, so you can make your way out of any position, good or bad.

Get used to change. The foundation of your life is still the same, it’s just that the way you’re used to going about it has shifted. There are still things that need to get done and goals that need to be reached. This is the time to build yourself into exactly who you want to be, according to your own personal blueprint.

We all fall. Everyone else thinks they know how to solve your challenges, but you have to trust yourself. Remember that this is your fight and you’re going to win. Listening to suggestions may help, but the final decision is yours.

Adversity forces you to recognize the challenge and adjust to a new way of thinking. You will either forge a new path and become successful, or you’ll sit in the same place (still wondering why), for years to come.

You’re not a tree. Get up and grow to the next level of your life.

#BeGoalden