Things seem to be going along just fine, and then, out of nowhere – you encounter some type of adversity. Life happens and screws up your plans. You’re left wondering what went wrong, among other confusing questions.
As you can see, life doesn’t go according to your plan. There’s no doubt that it stings, but at the same time, you don’t have to sit there and take it. This is simply a new starting point, perhaps even a rebirth, of your life.
Life Happens
When things occur unexpectedly, your first reaction is emotional. Thoughts of guilt and self-pity flood your mind, as you become more and more discouraged.
It doesn’t help that your friends and family are supporting those negative feelings. They pat you on the back and tell you everything will be fine. Some will provide an escape for you – “I knew your boss didn’t like you – that car saw you coming and they still hit you…” They think it’s helping, but actually, it relieves you of the responsibility of having a more positive outlook.
Yes – responsibility. “But it wasn’t my fault…” you say. This may be true, but the responsibility of fixing it and moving on, is yours. No one else can do this for you, so you have to hold yourself accountable, even if you did nothing wrong. You can wait for someone to save you (which some people do), but then, you’d be neglecting the skills you’re about to build to become a better person.
Get away from the chatter and allow yourself some time to think things through. You know how messed up it is – you don’t need others to confirm that for you. After your emotions settle, the next step is to figure out what you’re going to do to gain some ground.
Being overly emotional never helps, even though it’s the first thing most people do. All the whimpering and whining only drags you deeper into a downward spiral of darkness. It doesn’t make the situation any better, but it makes you feel comfortable.
We think of how horrible it was and who to blame because it didn’t work out. It’s easy to point the finger at someone else. How often do we think of it as an opportunity? Not only can you start over the way you want to, but you will strengthen your skills and stretch your abilities as you go.
Facing Adversity
How do you pull through, when it seems everything is working against you? One thing you don’t want to do is work against yourself. When your emotions take over, that’s when you start to play ‘victim’.
That’s not what we’re going to do. History shows that humans are creative and resilient during times of challenge. There are plenty of examples of people who hit rock bottom, only to rise and touch the sky.
It’s been proven – if you’re human, you can do this.
First, go ahead and let your emotions out. Cry, curse, scream – do whatever it is you need to do. It’s not good to hold all of that unworthy, negative energy inside your body. It only leads to more anxiety and stress, which you certainly don’t need right now.
Here’s where it gets tricky – don’t stay in your emotions. Have your emotions, but don’t live there. This is where people get stuck, because they don’t want to face any more adversity than they have to. They stay in those ‘victim’ thoughts, only to never rebound.
Second, make a list of things you need to do in order to move forward and out of your slump. The day can easily get away from you when you don’t have it written down. Checking things off of your list gives you a sense of accomplishment and a new positive perspective on what you are capable of doing.
Third, start moving. Studies show that movement and exercise improves your mood and brain activity. It also helps tremendously with your stress levels. Once you start moving, your brain will turn on and begin generating new ideas. You’ll start to actively think, instead of being stuck in your feelings.
Fourth, take care of your responsibilities. Don’t let everything fall apart, just because of a hiccup in your life. You’re still in control and your obligations don’t stop, so continue to handle them.
The World Still Turns
You can either lay down and take it, or you can stand up and take it. It won’t be the last time you experience adversity, so it’s best to know what to do now, so you can be stronger and handle it better the next time. Be flexible, so you can make your way out of any position, good or bad.
Get used to change. The foundation of your life is still the same, it’s just that the way you’re used to going about it has shifted. There are still things that need to get done and goals that need to be reached. This is the time to build yourself into exactly who you want to be, according to your own personal blueprint.
We all fall. Everyone else thinks they know how to solve your challenges, but you have to trust yourself. Remember that this is your fight and you’re going to win. Listening to suggestions may help, but the final decision is yours.
Adversity forces you to recognize the challenge and adjust to a new way of thinking. You will either forge a new path and become successful, or you’ll sit in the same place (still wondering why), for years to come.
You’re not a tree. Get up and grow to the next level of your life.
#BeGoalden