excuses Archives - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: What’s The Excuse Holding You Back?

Everyday, it’s a different excuse. You’re having a bad hair day, the dog got away or the storm knocked out the internet. Therefore, you won’t take action.

These may be valid reasons as to why you won’t do anything, but in reality, they’re not reasons, they’re excuses.

We can think of many reasons not to do anything productive. Deeper than that, we’ll allow it to make sense, so we won’t feel guilty about not following through. How can we do better?

Time Is Not An Excuse

One of the biggest excuses is not having enough time. We tell ourselves that millionaires are millionaires, because they have all the time in the world. “If I had that kind of time, I’d be rich, too,” we say.

Millionaires may be rich, but with the exception of those who were born rich, what were they doing with their time, prior to being rich? Were they sitting around, talking about why rich people are rich?

This is the part that no one talks about – the late nights and early mornings, making ends meet, putting in time with the kids, keeping up with awkward schedules, etc. For the most part, they were working towards their goals and they never gave up. You’ve heard stories of people who work on their side business for 4 hours, after they came home from working 2 jobs. There’s discipline in that type of work ethic and it pays off.

Remember when you never had the time? Well, it’s up to you to bend it to your benefit and leverage it as much as possible. It’s all the same 24 hours, so if you want it to work out, you have to make it work for you.

Our minds tend to keep us on a schedule of daily habits. If you want to have a chance at reaching your goal, enhance your routine. Stretch, adjust or eliminate the details in your daily pattern. Disrupt your autopilot habits and become more aware of the goal you’re trying to achieve.

You could shorten your time watching television and replace it with creating a plan. Maybe you could research while you eat dinner. Or, you could listen to a podcast while taking a shower.

There are many ways you can make more time – it just takes a little altering to make it work towards your advantage.

It’s Not In Your Control

Everything that happens in life is not controlled by you. If you can accept that simple fact, you’ll save yourself a lot of stress.

Some of us get upset when life happens – we become emotional and start having negative thoughts. Like a child, we have a tantrum and we let it stop us from doing what we planned to do.

Yes, this presents a challenge, but at the same time, you have the ability to think your way through it. There may be a change of plans that have to take place, but it can be done.

Some of the things we tell ourselves is, “It is what it is…” or “I’m not about to do that, just so I can do this…” We make up these ridiculous excuses to justify our laziness. Now, you’ve allowed the situation to hijack your progress.

It’s difficult to get up after being knocked down. It becomes comfortable to stay there, because it’s easier than getting knocked down again. Why even try? Get rid of this excuse – it only puts you on a path to nowhere.

Don’t let the things you’re unable to control, have control over you. Have a ‘can-do’ attitude when things happen unexpectedly. These are the small battles that need to be won, so that you can move closer to your results. It’s not the end, there’s just another way to do it.

How Do You Want This To End?

The easy part of this, is that you get to make the decision on the outcome you want to see. The hard part is, you must consistently get up and take action, if you want to get there.

If you were in a physical fight, it’s natural to defend yourself and fight back, because you want to win. You’re doing your best to prevent yourself from being hurt. It’s the same with accomplishing your goals. When an obstacle hits you, don’t just lay down and take it – get up and take another swing.

Use your mind in the right way. That involves thinking positive thoughts and creating a growth environment for yourself. Instead of lingering on the problem (challenge) at hand, linger on finding a solution. How you respond to a challenge determines if you’ll be successful or not.

Don’t make a convenient excuse – overcome them. Whether you create them or life creates them, don’t let them get in your way. You are more than capable of changing your direction in order to make it happen and win.

#BeGoalden

Are Excuses Dominating Your Life?

You want to be successful, but for some reason, the work doesn’t come out of you.

You want to be healthier, but for some reason, you can’t find time to exercise and eat better.

You want to focus on becoming a better version of yourself, but for some reason, those actions just don’t align with what you’re doing right now.

Overall, you know what you need to do, but what is it that keeps stopping you and holding you back?

It’s the excuses we give ourselves and the people we try to impress.

So why do we depend on other people’s opinions? Why do we place so much value on how others feel about what we want to do?

We all want to be accepted. The fastest way to gain acceptance is by doing things that others want us to do. Once you’re in this cycle, it’s hard to get out, because you then have to face the rejection and embarrassment that may come along with it.

How do you tackle this?

Self Accountability

It all comes down to holding yourself accountable. Making a to-do list and having reminders and notifications are great tools that can help accommodate your goals, but if you don’t follow through, what good is it?

Being accountable for your actions is the foundation for anything you want to do. If you really want to achieve what you set out to do, the only person that can stop you is yourself.

It doesn’t matter if things don’t go right or someone put a wrench in your plans. You are in control. Things can happen in your favor, but they can also happen against you – accept it. Those challenges and obstacles build you into becoming the person you want to be – overcoming fear, pain and unfavorable circumstances makes you a better version of yourself, not excuses.

Instead of actively going through the things that pause your progress, you make excuses and become complacent. It’s easier to blame the rain, than it is to work out inside. Your co-worker didn’t replace the paper in the copy machine, so that’s why you’re late with the report. You were tired from a hard day, that’s why you chose to eat fast food.

Excuses can not coexist with accountability. It’s one or the other. When you make the choice to elevate yourself, don’t allow those “reasons” (a nice word for excuses) to derail your commitment. Yes, it’s comfortable, but being comfortable doesn’t make a way for success.

Make Up Your Own Mind

What’s in your mind? How do you think? What shapes your thoughts?

Throughout life, we become conditioned to think a certain way. This happens through our environment, parents and friends.

When you were a child, anything was possible and you set out to make it possible. There were no fears or doubts in your mind that you could build a rocket in your backyard and fly to space, all in one day.

Somewhere along the line, someone told you that it was impossible. They supplied you with convenient excuses and logical ‘reasons’ as to why you couldn’t build that rocket. They placed their limitations on you and eventually, you accepted those limitations as your own.

Today, people tend to discourage independent thought. If someone says they’re going to become president, others will give them a thousand reasons why they won’t become president. Want to become a fashion designer at age 50? Announce it and people will call you crazy.

Everyone has their own opinion and thoughts, but that doesn’t mean you have to jump on their bandwagon. NEWSFLASH: You can think for yourself! Your ideas don’t have to be approved or validated by anyone else. You don’t need outside confirmation to know you’re doing the right thing or what’s in your heart.

When a child has a vision, they stick to it. Be that child, again. Stand by your ideas and work out your strategies until one succeeds. Don’t let the negative comments and non-believers live inside your head.

Excuses Will Always Exist

When you take control of your mind, you take control of your life. You are not here to build your dreams based upon how other people think you should. Get out of your own way and become aware of your own power.

There may be some things you have to unlearn and that is totally okay. Your life demands more of you. Make the decision to be ambitious and see where your potential will lead.

Reclaim your brain and get rid of the excuses. Your life is waiting.

#TBT: How To Change A Bad Past Into A Bright Future

Judging your future by your past impedes your progress and stifles your potential. If you have control over the possibilities, why not stretch and see how far you can go?

What is holding you back at this moment? Is there something you want to do, but that invisible voice keeps giving you excuses and telling you it’s not possible?

We’ve all experienced the doubts and fear that creeps into our minds, convincing us that it won’t work. All it takes is a few seconds of listening and we decide to play it safe, without even putting forth an effort.

Effort and failure is what carries you to success. Giving up because it didn’t work the last time you tried, is not the way to go – get out of your past and take action towards a better future.

The Past Is Your Teacher

Learning from the past can be a good blueprint for life. There are unfortunate things that happened, which you don’t care to experience anymore. This is helpful when making quick decisions.

Things like not putting your hand on a hot stove, or wearing a seat belt while riding in a car – those things can prevent significant harm or save your life altogether. Because of this, you depend on your past to help you in the future.

All of the various situations you experience in the past can contribute to how you live your life, currently. Some good, some bad, but it’s up to you to determine how it allows you to move forward.

The present is always happening. Your mind is constantly having thoughts and reacting to stimuli. Your past has a tremendous influence on each moment, as it occurs. How does this affect you in your everyday life?

The Past Doesn’t Decide Your Future

Sometimes, you can let your past dictate your present and future. Unconsciously, you can hold your present hostage by reacting with what you know, as opposed to doing something different to change the outcome.

If you had a bad business deal in the past, it doesn’t mean that every business deal will be bad. If you failed a science test, it doesn’t mean that you’ll fail every science test in the future.

Just because something went wrong the first time around doesn’t mean it will go wrong forever, whenever it happens. When it’s in your control to change the outcome, think of how you can adjust the details to make it work.

Turn the hot stove off, instead of touching it. Get past references before doing a business deal. Attempt to study in a different place before the science test. It is your responsibility to build your future by correcting the mistakes of the past.

How Analysis Paralysis Occurs

Analysis paralysis is a real obstacle. It’s when you overthink or consume so much information, you end up not doing anything at all. It’s better to proceed and make a mistake, because you learn what not to do and can make another attempt. Sitting still and not doing anything because of your fear of what might happen, is not effective.

Researching information is necessary for making decisions, but if you give yourself too many options, you’ll end up doing nothing. You’re so full of different choices, you become unable to make a move. The confusion alone becomes the new issue that needs to be conquered.

Realize that consulting with your past has it’s benefits. If anything, it should assist you in moving forward more strategically, putting you in a place to win. The rear view mirror is used to make better decisions, not to see how terribly wrong things might turn out.

It’s also important to note that you shouldn’t live in your past. Get whatever information and logic you need in order to make intentional moves, but don’t get stuck there. Some people will stay in the past a little too long and begin to overthink the outcome and hinder their growth. This is a common path to analysis paralysis.

Intentional Decisions

When thinking through a situation, you normally go back to your own understanding and experience, but your experience isn’t the only way to creating a definite solution.

If you grew up with parents who were drunk all of your life, you can make one of two decisions. Your experience will either teach you to be a drunk parent, or it will teach you that you don’t want to be a drunk parent. You may have experienced it, but it doesn’t mean you have to follow through in that particular way.

Make intentional decisions. Use your past experiences to make calculated moves in the future. It doesn’t make sense to make the same mistakes repeatedly, especially if you know better.

You can change your outlook on life by making forward-thinking choices. Allow your past to guide you, but don’t let it drive you down the same road that leads to nowhere. Let it give you the boost you need to make more intelligent and constructive choices. Everyone has a past – don’t let yours define you.

#BeGoalden

What’s The Excuse That’s Been Holding You Back?

Everyday, it’s a different excuse. You’re having a bad hair day, the dog got away or the storm knocked out the internet. Therefore, you won’t take action.

These may be valid reasons as to why you won’t do anything, but in reality, they’re not reasons, they’re excuses.

We can think of many reasons not to do anything productive. Deeper than that, we’ll allow it to make sense, so we won’t feel guilty about not following through. How can we do better?

Time Is Not An Excuse

You could shorten your time watching television and replace it with creating a plan. Maybe you could research while you eat dinner. Or, you could listen to a podcast while taking a shower.

There are many ways you can make more time – it just takes a little altering to make it work towards your advantage.

It’s Not In Your Control

Everything that happens in life is not controlled by you. If you can accept that simple fact, you’ll save yourself a lot of stress.

Some of us get upset when life happens – we become emotional and start having negative thoughts. Like a child, we have a tantrum and we let it stop us from doing what we planned to do.

Yes, this presents a challenge, but at the same time, you have the ability to think your way through it. There may be a change of plans that have to take place, but it can be done.

How Do You Want This To End?

The easy part of this, is that you get to make the decision on the outcome you want to see. The hard part is, you must consistently get up and take action, if you want to get there.

#BeGoalden

5 Bad Habits To Unlearn To Achieve The Impossible Goal

5 Bad Habits To Unlearn To Achieve Any Impossible Goal

Achieving the impossible goal seems time consuming. In today’s world, it’s easy to be complacent. Instant gratification is at an all-time high and just about everything around us can be done in a microwave minute.

Moving forward seems so easy, yet, it’s so hard to do. In our minds, we make all kinds of plans and goals, but in reality, we stop ourselves before we even start.

Somewhere in between, we need to make a connection with mentally thinking it, to physically doing it.

5 Bad Habits To Unlearn

Thinking about your past. The only reason you should reflect on the past, is to see how far you’ve come. We make the mistake of thinking so much about what happened, we start to live there. That’s where you get stuck. There’s a reason it’s called the past – what’s done is done and you can’t go back and change it. Have the courage to define your future and step into the unknown. That’s where growth happens.
Failing. We’ve all experienced failure at some point in our lives. Let’s shift the perception – ‘failure’ is just another word for ‘learning’. You don’t fail, you learn. Just because you failed at something doesn’t mean it’s not for you and you should quit. When you look back and see the mistake and how you could have done better, implement it and do it again. Not only will you improve upon what you’re doing, but you’ll make progress towards your impossible goal.
Procrastination. We put things off until tomorrow, Monday, or next year. Your diet doesn’t always have to start on Monday, you can just as easily start it on Thursday, or whatever day you think about it. Stop putting things off. Get uncomfortable and make a move. If you don’t do it now, when will you do it? ‘Eventually’ never comes. Do it now.
Accepting judgment from others. People will make fun of you and throw witty insults at you all day long. It’s nothing new. They are insecure about themselves, so know that it’s not you, it’s them. They want to put their fears on you, without pointing the finger at themselves. Don’t let it get you down. You are growing and they’re not. That’s scary to them, because it shows that you’re making progress and they’re staying the same. Never take those judgments personal. Keep it moving.
Making excuses. This is a major one. Not only do we use excuses on others, we use them on ourselves! “I can’t exercise today because I have a doctor’s appointment. If I exercise in the morning, that means I’ll have to wash my hair and by the time I get back home, it’ll be too hot and I’ll have to take another shower and…” Just stop it. You’re either going to do it or not – there’s no story long enough that’s going to validate your excuse.

When To Start Your Impossible Goal

There’s never a good time to start anything. This is procrastination at it’s finest. We all talk about ‘perfect timing’, but it doesn’t exist.

The time to start is always now. If you don’t start, how do you expect to get it done? Your results don’t appear out of the sky – you must take action if you want to see your success.

It’s okay if you have to do it alone. If you wait on your friends, you’ll be waiting forever and most of all, wasting time. Don’t be afraid to step out and start on your own.

You’ll Never Be Ready

“I’ll start when I’m ready.” This is another way we prevent ourselves from moving forward. You’re never 100% ready. Start when you’re 30% ready or just 10% ready.

Being fully ready never happens. Know that if you just start, you’ll learn the rest as you go along. This is where learning and improvement take place, but you must have the confidence to begin.

Go out and just do it! Be uncomfortable with the wrong time and not being fully prepared – that’s the journey! You’ll be so much better on the other side than if you were to be lazy and stagnant. Take a chance, make that first step and achieve the impossible!

#BeGoalden

Raising Your Standards

Being comfortable with where you are could be a sign that it’s time to raise your standards. Challenging yourself may seem boring and unproductive, but in the end, it pays off.

How does it pay off? When you start developing a good habit, it follows you throughout your life. It will show up in how you do everything. You may not be able to recognize it right away because you’ve been working on it for so long, but others will be able to notice it and see your potential.

Think Differently

How do you get better results? What can you do to separate yourself from the average person? Why do you even want to challenge yourself when no one is paying attention?

You get better results by going the extra mile. Most people can do what they’re asked to do, but very few will go the extra mile. How do you go the extra mile?

Going the extra mile means you take it one step further, even when no one is watching. Run one more lap. Read one more page. Save one more dollar.

Do what others aren’t doing.

Raising your standards is where growth happens. You are doing more than the regular person to become better. It doesn’t happen all at once, but you will improve one step at a time.

Stretch Yourself

Even when it seems like you can’t do one more, take a deep breath and go for it! It might hurt, but it won’t kill you.

Get into the habit of doing more. Doing more will allow you to create a pattern of never giving up. When the others stop, you keep going.

This is a characteristic that is only found in people who are disciplined and focused. Distractions will not get in their way. Limiting beliefs will not destroy their work ethic. They know they can only grow if they stretch themselves.

Get Rid Of The Excuses

It can be done, you just have to believe it and raise your standards.

There are many people who are ready to give you a million reasons why you should stop and how it’s a waste of time. These negative comments begin to stick in your head.

When you’re alone, thinking about going the extra mile, those voices will speak to you:

“Who are you to do this?”
“That will never work…”
“You don’t even know how to do that.”
“Why don’t you relax, it’s not going to happen anyway…”
“Who do you think you are?”

All of these whispers are floating around in your head, but don’t let it hold you back. It feels good to do more than what’s expected of you – it defines who you are and what you’re capable of. All you have to do is follow through.

Stop Expecting It To Be Easy

Greatness is within you, but you have to do the work in order to activate it. That means not listening to the naysayers and expecting things to come easy.

We want things to meet us where we are. Greatness doesn’t meet you where you are – you must get up and go to it! Rise to the occasion and display your best efforts.

It’s not going to be easy. If you want to step into your future, there is work that has to be done. Raise your standards and meet your potential. You’ll surprise yourself at how productive you can be and how far you can go.

#BeGoalden

Move To Improve

We let so many thoughts scare us…

it needs to be perfect
it’s not the right time
what if they don’t like it
what if I fail

Then, there’s another level. We make situational excuses…

I’ll start when I get paid
it rained
I have to do ‘A’ before I do ‘B’
Little Billy got sick

What are we afraid of? It’s not that we’re really busy – it’s that we’re afraid to actually do.

People who really go after what’s in their heads are special. They don’t stop to overthink and analyze how crazy it might seem. They aren’t afraid of the voices in their head. They just go and succeed and keep right on going.

Everyday, try to have that mindset. Commit to doing something everyday, even when it sucks. If you put in the daily effort, it can’t get any worse – it has to get better.

So, whatever it is that you want to do, please don’t worry about the outcome or what other people will think. That is exactly what stops you.

“Be like a computer. Respond with results, not excuses.”
The Goalden Lady

Google, or any other search engine, has never given an excuse when you use it to find answers or research.

Creating excuses is a habit that has been unconsciously passed down from generation to generation, across the world. When someone asks you something, instead of telling them the truth, your mind automatically looks for an excuse. It has spilled into so many other areas of our lives, we accept it without thinking.

We treat procrastination the same way. It’s used so much, we believe it. We’re making ourselves intellectually soft. No one wants to think or do anymore.

It’s going to be hard to quit, but I challenge everyone to catch yourself when you make an excuse. Catch yourself when you procrastinate. Don’t let yourself off the hook. Hold yourself accountable.

What do you do instead?

You find the mental power within you and push through. You do it. Perform. Act. Create. Operate. Be intentional and start. Be intentional and finish. It doesn’t have to be big, just begin. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Start by making small changes. You don’t have to start drinking 8 glasses a day, start with 2. You don’t have to start by running a 5k, start with a walk in the neighborhood. You don’t have to start with an expensive date with balloons and roses, start with a kind word and a smile.

Build your foundation. Work your way up to the results you want to obtain. Often times, we see what we want and it overwhelms us because we don’t know how to start – all we see is the end result. Start small and keep building, day by day.

Also, you will have to kill the negative chatter in your head, because that’s also stopping you. Your will to improve has to start in your mind.

Tell yourself how great you are. Tell yourself that you have the ability to do anything. Tell yourself that no matter how difficult it gets, you will find a way. Tell yourself these things, because it’s true.

You’ll even fall, sometimes. That’s okay, just remember to get up. There will be times where it hurts, but give it the time it needs, then keep going.

It’s going to be hard. You’re going to want to give up. You’ll make even more excuses because that’s easy. Change is hard. As long as you have breath in your body, believe that you can do it.

You won’t improve by doing the same thing – at some point, you’ll need to upgrade your game. Do something positive, something that will push you towards a greater situation, to the next level – something different.

It sounds so simple, but it’s one of the most hardest things in the world for people to do.

Take action and move.

#BeGoalden

Getting Ready To Get Ready

Preparation is key to becoming great, but sometimes, we can over do it.

Getting ready to get ready is really an excuse to procrastinate. We say things like:

I’ll start on Monday (everybody’s favorite)
When I get $500, then I’ll start saving
When I finish all of the ice cream in the freezer, then I’ll start my diet
When I buy some exercise equipment, then I’ll start exercising

Do you see a pattern? When I do ‘x’, then I’ll do ‘y’.

It may be hard to admit, but this is just a fancy form of procrastination. Anything you can do, can be done immediately. It won’t make any difference when you start, but because you are constantly ‘getting ready to get ready’, you never begin.

This is why it’s better to start your ideas soon after you have them. Giving yourself time to ‘get ready’ only prolongs what you are trying to do.

In the above examples, you can start any of those things right away. Most people like to start their plans on Monday. Why not start the following day? Why can’t you start saving money now, even if you don’t have $500? What does eating all of the ice cream first have to do with you beginning a new diet? Instead of wasting time trying to buy the right exercise equipment, why not start with a YouTube workout or go outside and play with the kids?

Stay Ready

Anything you want to do can be done without using the ‘getting ready to get ready’ excuse formula. We have to stop giving ourselves an easy way out. Procrastination only brings about more procrastination – it’s a neverending cycle.

Make up your mind that you will start, no matter what the circumstances are in your head. Don’t hinder your own growth – don’t become your own enemy. Be disciplined and take action. Have the confidence to move forward and create progress. You are more than capable and prepared to start than you think you are.

Hold yourself accountable and take control of your future. Hesitating won’t get you anywhere. You don’t want to be in the same place, a year from now. Be extraordinary and do what needs to be done, even when you don’t feel like it. Embrace those challenges so that you can become the exceptional person you’re meant to be!

#BeGoalden

If You’re Going To Quit

If you’re going to quit, then quit:

procrastinating
being hard on yourself
sabotaging your goals
accepting defeat
whining
gossiping
eating junk food
being lazy
lying to yourself
feeding your mind garbage
letting things control you
settling for less
being complacent
accepting what has always been
giving up
wasting time
listening to nonsense
being dramatic
worrying
being indecisive
feeling sorry for yourself
comparing yourself to others
making excuses
getting distracted
complaining
blaming
dodging responsibilities

By all means, go ahead and quit.