standards Archives - The Goalden Lady

Don’t Find Yourself, Create Yourself

No one ever talks about how to create the person you want to become – it’s always about “finding” yourself. The way you use words matter and in this case, it can mean the difference between drifting through life and living intentionally.

What does it mean to “find” yourself? Have you been lost all this time? Is life already planned out, without your input? Would your thoughts and ideas even make a difference?

What Is “Finding” Yourself?

Life as a young adult can be an adventure. We have many options, depending on our situation – going to college, finding a job, sitting at home or just figuring things out.

There’s another option what some people like to call “finding” yourself. This phrase is mostly used when you don’t know what you’re doing, where you’re going or how you’re going to get there.

Fast forward five years and ask the person who was “finding” themselves what they are doing now. Some will have a story to tell, but most will still be stuck at figuring out who they are and what they want to do.

When you’re “finding” yourself, it implies that you’re lost. It seems like you must go somewhere and reclaim an identity that someone stole from you. There’s nothing lost about you – who you are is not randomly waiting for your surprise arrival.

Sometimes you’ll find things and sometimes you won’t. Do you want to take that chance in the peak of your life? Or, would you rather be deliberate about following a path that will lead you close to where you really want to be?

How To Create Yourself

Taking some time to “find” yourself should be phrased differently. We like to call it creating yourself (words matter).

Instead of “finding” yourself, create yourself. This gives the idea that you are in control of directing your life. “Finding” yourself happens by chance, but creating yourself happens with intention.

If you don’t know who you want to be, this is the perfect time to begin building a foundation for yourself. You get to develop quality standards and enhance certain habits, everyday.

Start by doing research on the person you admire most. Do they wake up early in the morning? Do they read ten books a month? Are they only working four hours a week? Where do they live? Do they work more than they sleep?

These are lifestyle habits that give you an idea of how to follow your own path. You don’t have to do everything single thing that they do, but it gives you a sense of building yourself. This is how we all start – we pull what we admire from others and piece it into our own lives.

At the same time, if there’s something that doesn’t work for you (like waking up every morning at 5am), don’t be afraid to change it. Make adjustments to your liking. Everyone’s blueprint isn’t the same. Some people are early risers and some are night owls.

This is where the creating comes in – this is you building yourself. If a certain routine doesn’t work for you, create another one. Take responsibility for your actions and decisions. Don’t be timid about making mistakes and experiencing failure – they only point you in the right direction.

Be Proud Of Your Progress

Eventually, creating yourself will put you on the right path to the life you want to live. Don’t just set out to “find” yourself, be intentional and have a purpose.

Be thoughtful about who you want to be and what you want to do. Don’t leave it up to the world to tell you who you are, CREATE who you are! The power is in your hands – you are the writer, director, actor/actress and the editor of your life’s movie.

Take what you already know and use it to your advantage to grow even more. The progress you make will inevitably lead you to your success!

The Standards You Set For Yourself

Standards give us something to live up to. It’s a way to improve ourselves without the constant influence and competition of others.

People who lack standards usually remain stagnant. There’s nothing to convince them that they can become better than what they already are, because they’re comfortable.

What happens when you become stuck in a rut and you’re unable to hold yourself accountable for your own actions?

Why Have Standards?

Standards allow you to elevate in life. When there’s a certain desire you want to live up to, it motivates you to improve and become better.

Having standards and rules for yourself promotes growth in life. You know how you want to live, how much money you want to make, the type of family you want to have, etc. – these things are thoughts and ideas that you hold in your mind while you strive and make them come true.

You also set yourself apart from others who have no ambition or goals, and you become the type of person you aspire to be. It’s not easy to live up to your own personal standards – it takes resilience, discipline and focus (among other characteristics), but if you make a plan to get there, it’s definitely possible.

Your Potential

Becoming a more productive version of yourself everyday is a great foundational standard to live up to. As mentioned before, it inspires your ability to grow.

When you hang around people who don’t seem to care about what they do and who don’t have any goals, it’s easy to adopt the same attitude. As they say, birds of a feather, flock together.

This can damage your potential, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. By changing your environment and who you hang around, you can adjust your standards and goals to new and more productive levels.

Always put yourself in a place of advantage. Once you master a task or situation, move on to something else. See how much you can learn and how far you can go. Push your limits and discover your capacity. Never allow anyone to bring you down to their level.

Holding Yourself Accountable

Part of living up to your personal standards is holding yourself accountable. You are your own responsibility – the only person that can save you, is you.

How many times have things gone wrong in life, whether you planned for it or not? Did you sit there and accept the outcome or did you take the time to reassess and create another solution?

This is where most people become stuck – things don’t always go as planned, but it’s your job to get up, figure it out and make one more attempt. You must hold yourself accountable in order to move forward.

Most people like to have “accountability partners” or someone to help them along their journey. That’s fine, but ultimately, the responsibility is yours. Your accountability partner may tell you it’s okay to eat a slice of cake or to buy one more lottery ticket. Sometimes, they can be your worst enemy, as opposed to helping you become better.

What Standards Do You Have?

If you have plans on becoming a better person, then you have standards. Anything you want to do to improve your place in life is a standard you have created for yourself.

Understand that you are your only competition – you should strive to be better than the person you were yesterday. It may be a challenging task, but that’s how self-improvement works.

Create your standards and work on them daily. Develop your daily habits to match the person you want to become. It may seem like a difficult task, but all you have to do is take one step at a time and you’ll become the successful person you’ve always imagined.

Don’t Expect Everyone To Love What You Do

Do you expect everyone to love what you do, before you get started? When we start a significant journey, one of the first things we deal with are our expectations. We expect a good circle of support, as well as a good outcome of something great.

Having a positive vision helps with the process, but you shouldn’t get stuck depending on others. Waiting for someone to validate you or agree with your idea is a waste of time – you’ll be waiting forever.

Instead, bet on yourself and take a chance. Remember to keep up with your own expectations – run your race, according to your standards.

Control What You Can

One of the most important things to remember is that you can only control what you can. Often times, we get bent out of shape over things we have no control over and we allow it to consume our day in a negative way.

If someone gives a negative opinion about your project, that doesn’t mean you should stop. It’s just an opinion. You did your best, but you aren’t able to control what other people say or think.

Don’t overthink their opinion. It’s fine to think back on how you could improve, but don’t let it ruin the fact that you pulled off this project when no one else wanted to take it. You put the idea out there and took a chance, while they gossiped in the break room everyday.

You can only deal with what you can control. If it rains on the day you were planning to go out, don’t worry the rest of the day away – you can either plan it for another day, or simply do something else.

Don’t Expect Immediate Support

You have this incredible idea in your head and it’s going to change the world! You can’t wait to get started.

When you tell your family and friends about it, they don’t seem too excited. You may even receive some unsolicited feedback on how it won’t work out and how crazy you are for thinking of it.

If these are the types of reactions you get, you’re actually on the right path. Hardly anyone ever supports great ideas from the start. Sometimes, you have to prove yourself before people jump on board.

It can be a lonely path in the beginning, because no one sees your vision the way you do. As they say, if it were easy, everyone would do it. Most people won’t be supportive at first, so don’t expect everyone to back you. Believe in what you’re doing and continue to persist.

This is why it’s important to get around a group of encouraging people. It’s not necessary, but it helps that someone else can see a glimmer of light when everyone else only sees darkness.

Expect Nothing To Go As Planned

Writing your thoughts down and creating a plan to make it work is essential when working on your goals. What happens when things don’t go according to your plan?

If your plan doesn’t seem to work, it’s alright. You’ve found a way that doesn’t work, therefore, you don’t have to waste any more time on that particular strategy. It’s called making progress.

This is not a hint to stop and give up. It’s a helpful hint that is pointing you in another direction, to attempt something else. There’s no straight path to success.

The twists and turns that you’ll experience will only make you more productive, aware and intelligent. Mistakes are merely suggestions on what to do next, or how to do it better.

So, no, it won’t go as planned. You must possess the mindset that you have the ability to figure it out as you go along. Every path is different and you are creating your own.

Expect The Best From Yourself

It won’t do you any good to have great expectations of other people, but it does help to expect more from yourself.

Other people will let you down, but you won’t let yourself down. Your standard of excellence will allow you to advance towards the future you are building. Others can’t do that for you.

Be confident and believe in yourself. It may be difficult, but trust yourself enough to go out and pursue your dream. Have the courage to go at it without stopping and succumbing to other’s opinions.

All it takes is one confident thought and some productive action. People will always find a way to insult your dreams, but only you can build yourself and make it happen.

What do you expect from yourself? It’s all up to you.

#BeGoalden

Raising Your Standards

Being comfortable with where you are could be a sign that it’s time to raise your standards. Challenging yourself may seem boring and unproductive, but in the end, it pays off.

How does it pay off? When you start developing a good habit, it follows you throughout your life. It will show up in how you do everything. You may not be able to recognize it right away because you’ve been working on it for so long, but others will be able to notice it and see your potential.

Think Differently

How do you get better results? What can you do to separate yourself from the average person? Why do you even want to challenge yourself when no one is paying attention?

You get better results by going the extra mile. Most people can do what they’re asked to do, but very few will go the extra mile. How do you go the extra mile?

Going the extra mile means you take it one step further, even when no one is watching. Run one more lap. Read one more page. Save one more dollar.

Do what others aren’t doing.

Raising your standards is where growth happens. You are doing more than the regular person to become better. It doesn’t happen all at once, but you will improve one step at a time.

Stretch Yourself

Even when it seems like you can’t do one more, take a deep breath and go for it! It might hurt, but it won’t kill you.

Get into the habit of doing more. Doing more will allow you to create a pattern of never giving up. When the others stop, you keep going.

This is a characteristic that is only found in people who are disciplined and focused. Distractions will not get in their way. Limiting beliefs will not destroy their work ethic. They know they can only grow if they stretch themselves.

Get Rid Of The Excuses

It can be done, you just have to believe it and raise your standards.

There are many people who are ready to give you a million reasons why you should stop and how it’s a waste of time. These negative comments begin to stick in your head.

When you’re alone, thinking about going the extra mile, those voices will speak to you:

“Who are you to do this?”
“That will never work…”
“You don’t even know how to do that.”
“Why don’t you relax, it’s not going to happen anyway…”
“Who do you think you are?”

All of these whispers are floating around in your head, but don’t let it hold you back. It feels good to do more than what’s expected of you – it defines who you are and what you’re capable of. All you have to do is follow through.

Stop Expecting It To Be Easy

Greatness is within you, but you have to do the work in order to activate it. That means not listening to the naysayers and expecting things to come easy.

We want things to meet us where we are. Greatness doesn’t meet you where you are – you must get up and go to it! Rise to the occasion and display your best efforts.

It’s not going to be easy. If you want to step into your future, there is work that has to be done. Raise your standards and meet your potential. You’ll surprise yourself at how productive you can be and how far you can go.

#BeGoalden