energy Archives - The Goalden Lady

Dealing With Disappointment

Disappointment is one of those things you wish wouldn’t happen, but it always seems to find a way to rear it’s ugly head. Whether you find it coming from yourself or someone else, it has a way of disrupting your flow.

Unfortunately, disappointment is something we’re unable to avoid, but we do have the ability to work around it. Instead of trying to ignore it, be mindful and learn how to deal with it productively as possible.

What Disappoints You?

There are a million ways you can be disappointed. Deception, death, high expectations, sadness, anger, betrayal – it all falls under the umbrella of being disappointed. Whether something is unfair or not, it frustrates you.

It could be someone not showing up on time. Maybe you didn’t get the job you hoped for. Your best friend stole from you. Someone cut you off in traffic. There’s not as much money in your bank account as you thought.

Some of these disappointments are caused by other people, but some of it is caused by you. It’s important to know the difference, because you may not be able to fix other people, but you can definitely fix yourself.

Just know that other people are not you! Don’t expect them to do things the way you would do them – this is one of the easiest ways to disappoint yourself. Of course, we should all have high standards and expectations of each other, but in reality, it just doesn’t work that way.

Waking up in the morning to find there are no socks to wear can be disappointing, but you can fix that so it won’t happen again. Running out of gas while driving on the highway can make you mad, but you can fix that so it won’t happen again. These are situations that you bring upon yourself, but you can fix it. Be accountable and stop disappointing yourself.

Perspective

Think about this: do others upset you or do you allow yourself to be upset by them?

One way is blaming and the other is taking responsibility. People do crazy things – you don’t have to like it, but you don’t have to let it ruin your day, either. That’s life. You don’t have to be offended by every little thing. If you can see it from another perspective, it will help you move on with your day.

We can not stop disappointment from happening. However, it does contribute towards the building of our integrity and character. It can be annoying, but if you can see the situation from a different angle, it can possibly put you at an advantage.

Adjust your outlook so you won’t experience a high level of disappointment. It can be heartbreaking when someone lets you down, but don’t let it become distracting. Some of us are stuck on something that happened ten years ago. It’s hard to forgive and let go, but you don’t want to live in a mental prison all of your life.

Forgiveness is for you, not for them. It allows you to move forward so you can continue to make progress in your life. When you hold a grudge, the other person doesn’t feel it – you carry that burden of disappointment. If you shift your perspective, you’ll enjoy the benefit of controlling your emotions (not your emotions controlling you) and creating a more improved outcome.

It’s Okay To Feel Your Disappointment

When other things disappoint you, especially if it has nothing personal to do with you, let it go. Giving up your energy to silly things can be draining. It sounds simple in theory, but why do we make it hard to do?

Sometimes, it’s the small things that can get to us – someone looking at us the wrong way, it rained when it wasn’t supposed to or your favorite team lost the big game. These type of things will happen. You have no control over it, but you can make the choice to forget about it and keep going. Don’t carry it with you the rest of the day – unless there’s something you can do, accept it and let it go.

Other times, disappointment can be more personal and difficult to deal with. A loved one becomes terribly ill or your child is following the wrong crowd. Situations like these are unable to let go as easily. It may hurt everyday, but the best way to handle it is to be as helpful and as positive as you can.

With some disappointments, there is no concrete way of handling them – you just have to let it run it’s course and work itself out. At the same time, you don’t have to live in it. Acknowledge it, but allow yourself to look ahead and continue to pursue your future.

No matter what happens or how you feel, the world doesn’t stop. There are ways to limit your disappointments and deal with them in a productive way – just don’t let it ruin your life.

#TBT: Self-Care: Start Choosing Yourself

Self-care is something we need, but we don’t practice enough of. We’re taught to be respectful and to love one another. Be considerate and kind to everyone you meet – everything that describes the Golden Rule.

What happened to us? Did anyone ever show us how to be independent and love ourselves? We become so caught up in being available to others, yet, we cheat ourselves out of a fulfilling life.

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

People will call you selfish when you do something that doesn’t include or benefit them. You could have given them a million dollars last week, but you’re ‘selfish’ because you didn’t visit them yesterday.

You’ve done all you can to please them and make them happy. Even if they’ve never done anything for you, it makes you feel a certain amount of guilt when they complain about how you treat them.

It’s not your responsibility to make others happy. If you do something nice, that’s great, but if they don’t appreciate it, move on. As a matter of fact, don’t do it for appreciation, do it because you like doing nice things for people. When you expect something in return, emotions get involved and feelings get hurt.

Don’t spend your energy attempting to make it right or trying to mend their feelings. Some people like to make you feel guilty just so you can continue to do things for them. You may feel bad, but at some point, you have to stop living for them and start living your life.

They’re not coming to save you, so you must take care of yourself, first.

Putting Yourself First

You’ve been so used to putting others before yourself, it seems odd to put your own needs first. You are not accountable for their life, but you are accountable for your own.

Think about when you go to work and ask for a promotion – why not take the time to promote yourself with your own personal business? Yes, it may take some time, but you’ll be able to call the shots yourself.

We’ve been trained to always look to others for what we need or want. You never get to truly live life on your terms, because you’re stuck in a place where you have to constantly ask for permission. If you choose yourself, you don’t have to convince anyone else of what you deserve.

Learn to trust yourself. If you want to make lots of money, make a plan and get started! Depending on your boss to provide for you is not smart. Get in the habit of doing for self, even if it takes time to materialize. Commit to a strong work ethic and the time will pass – before you know it, you’ll be the boss of your own life, truly doing as you wish.

Choose You

Self-care also involves self awareness, or how you see yourself. Thinking small of yourself and big of other people hinders your intentions. You can’t have a short, defeated outlook when it comes to pursuing your goal. Your abilities are just as good as anyone else’s, but you’ve got to be proactive and bold towards your plan.

Make little promises to yourself and keep them. That’s the key to believing in yourself and building courage. Exercise that characteristic within yourself and portray it – I am strong, I am beautiful, I am successful, I am smart, I am magnificent. Speak it into existence because you are what you say you are.

Develop the discipline to perform the habits that make you better and your ambition will soar. Expecting others to give you that feeling of worthiness will no longer exist because you can achieve it on your own.

Self-care is imperative. Don’t be afraid to choose yourself. No one is going to do it for you. Have your own back and create your own solutions. Depending on someone else puts you at risk. Take your own risks and be successful because you chose yourself.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Why Consistency Is Key

Consistency is key when it comes to making progress in life. The daily habits you develop play a major role in being consistent and can help with making incremental improvements over time.

Why is consistency so important? What happens if you don’t follow a certain pattern everyday? Will consistency enhance your life?

Daily Habits

We all have different daily habits that help move our day along. We perform most of these patterns unconsciously and it provides a foundation for the rest of the day.

Habits, such as brushing your teeth and taking a shower, are things you do from a necessity standpoint. If you weren’t consistent with these things, no one would want to be around you. Hygiene habits are critically important.

Other habits, such as folding your clothes or writing down your expenses, are things you choose to do to keep organized. No one has to do these, but it helps you on a personal level and allows you to promote your own development.

Consistency Has It’s Benefits

Being consistent naturally falls in line with your habits. Since you do them everyday, you’re already consistent with them.

Imagine if you didn’t brush your teeth everyday. What would happen? It definitely wouldn’t be in your best interest personally and it could lead to possible health issues. The fact that you brush your teeth consistently, is beneficial to the people around you and your health.

When folding your clothes, you are prepping for when you have to choose your outfit for the day. If you didn’t fold your clothes, you could waste time looking for something you need, as opposed to knowing where it is and putting it on right away. When you’re organized, you can focus on more important things and avoid draining your energy on the simple things.

The Power Of Consistency

Having a habit of consistency enhances your life, especially when you have productive habits.

If you exercise on a daily basis, you’ll see and feel the results throughout your body. Not only will you look good, you’ll feel good. This is a powerful habit that leads to being physically healthy, along with other advantages.

When you develop a habit and you’re consistent with it, you’re ahead of the game. Others who aren’t consistent with their good habits will have a harder time becoming more productive and won’t enjoy the perks from being consistent.

It’s a win – win situation. The more consistent you are with your good habits, the more progress you will make in your life.

The Key To Being Consistent

Don’t overwhelm your mind with how hard something is – if you do, it will seem hard and you won’t even begin.

The key to being consistent is to keep going. Start small and take action everyday. As time goes on, you will become better and it will allow you to put your mind power towards accomplishing your goals.

Consistency also helps with your confidence and puts you on another level. Because you take the time to enhance yourself on a regular basis, your confidence will rise, which prepares you for the next level of your life.

Unless you practice being consistent with the productive habits in your life, you will remain stagnant. Growth doesn’t happen where consistency is absent.

Develop some good habits and don’t allow any distractions to get in the way. You’ll soar beyond your potential when you continue to be consistent with the good, productive habits in your life.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: The Best Investment To Make When You Have Nothing

#TBT: The Best Investment You Can Make when You Have Nothing

What is the best investment to make, when you have nothing? Is it stocks? Real estate? Car collection or hand bags?

Before you even think of making an investment, you must have a lot of money, right? Wrong. There’s one thing you can invest in that’s free and well worth your time and energy.

The returns on this specific investment is infinite. All you have to do is have a mindset of discipline, confidence and resilience to begin.

What Can You Invest In Without Money?

You don’t necessarily need money to invest in something. People invest their time and energy into things they want to see grow and become better.

The biggest investment you can ever make in your life, is investing in yourself.

Yes, you! There is something that you enjoy doing or want to know more about – this is what you invest in. You put forth extra effort and stay up late because you want to see it develop into something more.

Throughout that process, you are learning and building yourself into a valuable resource. You are investing the time and energy it takes to become an unstoppable version of yourself.

How do you invest in yourself?

Know what you want to do. What are you good at? Is there something you do everyday, flawlessly, that is hard for others? There is something you’re awesome at. If you’re not, you can become awesome at it. Know what you want to do (or have an idea) and be clear on it. Some people get caught up in the idea of knowing and they forget to take action, but the process doesn’t stop there.
Read and research. Learning never stops. You can always read and discover something you didn’t know and apply it to your life. It doesn’t take money – you can do research on the internet or listen to a lecture full of gems. Have an open mind when it comes to new information. Improvements can always be made.
Develop strong habits. Habits create your identity. Routines put those habits into practice. It’s good to be spontaneous, but habits must be in place to promote productivity. No one is spontaneously successful. Constructive habits and skills will increase your personal value.

Make Time For Your Personal Investment

Most of us are looking for ways to impress other people so we can get a job, be in a certain circle or get to the next level. We do things to gain attention from other people, as opposed to building ourselves.

When you invest your time and energy into others, it can be a disappointment. They may not see your significance and dismiss it, without a thought. You’re at their mercy.

Now you’re stuck, trying to figure out who to impress next so you can move on. Instead of making other people see your value, see the value in yourself. Why not attempt to put your future into your own hands?

Invest in yourself. Benefit yourself before you give your benefit away to others. When you invest in yourself, you open up doors to new possibilities and endless opportunities. It also gives you the highest advantage of profiting from your own skills, first.

The investment that you make in yourself is priceless. You are the best investment that you could ever make and no one can take that away. Stocks and real estate will go up and down on a whim, but the constant investment you make in yourself will allow you to grow in many ways throughout life.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Focus On Minding Your Own Business

Distractions are all around us and that’s where our focus goes. It’s hard to avoid – it’s on your phone, TV and at work. Some businesses are even built around capturing your attention with these distractions.

When we get caught up scrolling through social media and mindlessly watching TV (among other things), we lose ourselves. We think about everything else, except what we’re doing with our own lives.

What Do You Focus On?

Everyone has an opinion. We participate in conversations and listen to what’s happening around us and we automatically have our own version of what we would do in that situation.

Our minds are constantly working. It’s important to have productive discussions on different things, but you don’t have to give a response to everything, all the time.

We’re so used to putting our two cents in about other people’s business that we forget our own. Our focus becomes what we think about what’s going on outside of us, as opposed to what’s going on within ourselves.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

This is why celebrities are rich – we constantly give our attention to them, as if it really matters, and they continue to become bigger distractions.

Imagine if you didn’t pay attention to what the president said today. What if you didn’t pay attention to the latest scandal? If you didn’t pay attention to that celebrity and what happened on their yacht?

These are all distractions. When you give away your concentration to things that don’t affect you and your life, it’s a distraction. Yes, it’s entertaining on some level, but some of us forget that we have a life of our own to design.

Giving your attention to something is the same as giving away your energy. It takes energy to focus. Don’t give your energy away to someone or something else to the point where you neglect yourself. Your life deserves to have your energy and attention. Besides, who else is crafting your life, but you?

Be Your Own Distraction

Instead of worrying about why your favorite football player is not starting in the game, focus on why you haven’t started in your own game.

When you direct your focus on something other than yourself, it takes away from your goals. Time is of the essence and we must take responsibility for our actions daily.

This won’t happen if you’re continuously glued to your device. Let your own life be your distraction. Focus on your plan, so you can become successful like the people you are being distracted by.

Concentrate On Your Own Business

If it’s not going to change anything in your life, leave it alone. What Kim Kardashian wore yesterday shouldn’t dominate your thoughts and conversation. She’s not helping you in any way.

You can like her all you want to, but don’t forget about your life, by being wrapped up in her life. She already has her millions – do you have yours?

You are in control of where your attention goes, how you think and your path to greatness. Be confident enough to live the life of your dreams and stop watching others live the life of their dreams. You are worthy of your own focus and success.

#BeGoalden

This Time, Next Year

After all of the holiday feasts and family get-togethers, what’s next?

Usually, this is the time where people start to get into their New Year’s plans and resolutions. Year after year, it’s the same pattern.

There’s nothing wrong with a little tradition, but how about making a new personal development tradition?

No one has to know, but you. There are some people who get a little weird when you mention self-help or personal development, but if you have a supportive circle of friends, you can all do it together.

Here’s the big question you want to answer: “Where do I see myself, this time, next year?”

It may sound like another way to create a resolution, but this is for life, not just a few months. This involves your mindset, health, and wealth.

We are capable of working on more than one thing at a time. There’s a time to focus on all three at different times throughout the day.

In the morning and at night, focus on your mindset. When you wake up in the morning, guide your mind into positive thoughts. Think about what you want to accomplish that day and how it will successfully unfold. In the evening, think about how your day went and how you can improve or make it better. Read something that inspires you to be your best. This will set into your subconscious before you fall asleep and gear your thoughts towards positive action.
Before you have a meal, focus on your health. Don’t overthink your eating habits. Plain and simple, eat food that will give you energy and avoid food that makes you feel tired. We all know what’s not good for us, so to start, make a change with every meal. Switch out a slice of cake for an orange, or potato chips for celery. It may be a far stretch from what you’re used to, but start small to work your way towards better eating habits. It’s hard to do because some food tastes really good, but think about your future. You have nothing without good health.
Mind your money and watch your wealth. It seems like every wealthy person always had money, but some of them had to start from the bottom. Pay yourself first, with every paycheck. This doesn’t mean buy things and have a great time, it means put money aside for emergencies. Living paycheck to paycheck is stressful and painful. Help yourself by setting aside a set amount every time you get paid. Make it a habit. It may seem small at first, but over time, it builds up into a good amount. Now, when you have an emergency, you don’t have to wait for the next paycheck and put off other bills to accommodate it – you’ll already have it to fix the problem.

This is just a start to many things you can do towards your personal development. The biggest challenge is to actually start.

Everyone always starts on a Monday or on New Year’s Day, but you can start in the middle of the week if you want to. The “I’ll start on Monday” excuses will trickle down to the end of the year if you let it.

The only way you will achieve any goal, is to start. It doesn’t have to be a parade before you start, just do it! The next meal you have, pick a healthy substitution for one thing on your plate. The next time you’re in the car, listen to a podcast involving your goal. The next time you get your change back from a purchase, collect the change in a jar (if you’re using a debit card, have your bank put the extra change into a savings account for you).

It doesn’t matter, just start! Excuses will only keep you in the same place, this time next year.

Make a commitment to yourself. The best investment you can make is in your self improvement. Once that becomes a daily habit, everything else will fall into place. You’ll be a better version of yourself, this time, next year and for years to come.

#BeGoalden

Help! I’m Stuck: How To Increase Your Energy, Master Your Money and Control Your Time

As a senior in college, I had three jobs. Two jobs were paid and one was an internship. As a full-time college student, there was a lot on my plate.

I went to school Monday through Friday. I worked during the week and on the weekends, as well. It was a nonstop schedule, but I liked the challenge of making it work.

Back then, my energy wasn’t a problem. You wouldn’t hear the words, “I’m tired,” come from my mouth. We were college students, who had time to be tired?

When I went out with friends, I always had money – my money. I never had to wait on my parents to send me money or bug them about it. With two paying jobs, I was financially set (at least as a college student).

I had to plan my time carefully. There wasn’t any room for forgetful mistakes. Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I went to class from 8am to 2pm. Afterwards, I would do homework and catch the bus by 4pm to go to work.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I had classes from 8am to 11am. I would go to my internship from noon to 4pm.

After work during the week, I would go to the library and study from 9pm until it closed at midnight.

On Saturday and Sunday, I worked from noon to 6pm. This was my schedule for an entire year.

Fast Forward To Now

When I think back on how I managed it all, it amazes me. If you asked me to do that same schedule today, it would surely be a challenge.

Things have changed over the years. Since technology has made most things easier, it seems as though life should become easier.

Instead of physically going to three jobs, seven days a week, I probably could’ve worked from my dorm on a computer. Maybe, instead of waiting for the bus, I could’ve called Uber. Going to the bank to deposit my check could have been replaced with direct deposit.

All of these things could have saved me energy, money and time. It sounds easy in theory, but we still have a tough time with these things today.

Making the Most Out of Your Energy, Money and Time

Your energy, money and time are the most important habits to develop in life. Not only can distractions take up your time and drain your energy, if you’re not careful, it can cost you money, too.

Being responsible with your energy, time and money can be beneficial. Everything you do in life, at some point, will intersect with at least one of these qualities. Having low energy, no money and no sense of time, will stall any progress you intend to make.

Also, it sets a solid foundation for your work ethic. It allows you to be dependable, trustworthy and responsible. You’ll have the ability to take on any situation, in a professional manner.

All of these qualities don’t happen on their own. Like anything else, it will take discipline and focus to reach your desired results. As you practice these skills, it will give you the confidence towards building a better you.

3 Things You Never Want To Waste

As you get older, you’ll learn there are 3 things that will slip away from you, if you aren’t careful.

Energy

Having the ability to do something for a period of time, without easily being worn down, is energy. There is physical energy and mental energy.

The good thing about both types of energy, is that it can be replenished. If you become tired, all you need to do is rest or get some sleep. Like a cell phone, you’ll charge back up and be ready to go!

You’ll want to direct your energy towards the most important things throughout the day. We experience peak energy times at various points and should take advantage of them.

Eating healthy and exercise contributes to our energy levels. Food is fuel for the body. Sometimes, we can get sidetracked by how good something tastes and indulge a little too much. This is what slows us down in our day-to-day actions.

Food is meant to give us energy. It helps to carry us through the day, even when stress is present.

Mental energy can be regulated, as well. When it comes to making decisions, our mental energy can easily become depleted. Routines and rituals can help preserve your mental energy for more difficult decisions.

Protecting your mind from negative energy is a habit that demands constant practice. It gives you a chance to improve and to become the ultimate thought leader.

Money

Being attentive to your finances will serve you well in life. The earlier you learn to control your money, the better off you’ll be.

People have different opinions about money. Some view it in a negative way, while others see the opportunity it can provide.

Money is versatile. It has the ability to support your lifestyle and to help you achieve goals. No matter how you see it, money is a resource that could help or harm any situation. In this book, we will learn how to manage it for our benefit.

The good thing about money is, if you lose it, you can always make more. As long as you apply the knowledge that guided you in the first place, you should never be broke.

Time

Time is the only resource that cannot be replaced. You can rest to restore your energy and you can replace money by working. No matter what you do, time cannot be captured, nor recovered.

The only way you can rewind or fast forward time is on a recording. It is a measurement that keeps going at a steady pace everyday, yet, it never stops.

We all depend on time. From the moment we wake up, to the moment we fall asleep, there are countless responsibilities that need to be handled. Without it, we wouldn’t be nearly as productive.

People always tend to put things off until tomorrow. Think of how much time has been wasted, every time we say that. Time doesn’t consist of ‘rollover minutes.’ Once it’s over, there’s no way to get it back. Therefore, we should learn how to use it wisely.

These are the 3 things that will carry you through all aspects of life, from beginning to end. Depending on how you respond, these habits will determine how easy or hard your journey will be.

We’ve all heard people say:

“I wish I had more energy.”

“I wish I had more money.”

“I wish I had more time.”

This doesn’t have to be you. Learn how to maximize your energy, money and time. The earlier you learn this, the better off you’ll be. Even if you’re older, you can still learn how to save it all.

Once you get these 3 habits down to a science, your quality of life will improve. The foundation you are building will make you mentally and physically stronger, financially capable and mindfully conscious. You will become the person you’ve always wanted to be.

Let’s start your journey.

Excerpt from the personal development series, “Help! I’m Stuck: How To Increase Your Energy, Master Your Money and Control Your Time.”

Available at Amazon.