Tag: selfish

#TBT: Self-Care: Start Choosing Yourself

#TBT: Self Care: Start Choosing Yourself

Self-care is something we need, but we don’t practice enough of. We’re taught to be respectful and to love one another. Be considerate and kind to everyone you meet – everything that describes the Golden Rule.

What happened to us? Did anyone ever show us how to be independent and love ourselves? We become so caught up in being available to others, yet, we cheat ourselves out of a fulfilling life.

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

People will call you selfish when you do something that doesn’t include or benefit them. You could have given them a million dollars last week, but you’re ‘selfish’ because you didn’t visit them yesterday.

You’ve done all you can to please them and make them happy. Even if they’ve never done anything for you, it makes you feel a certain amount of guilt when they complain about how you treat them.

It’s not your responsibility to make others happy. If you do something nice, that’s great, but if they don’t appreciate it, move on. As a matter of fact, don’t do it for appreciation, do it because you like doing nice things for people. When you expect something in return, emotions get involved and feelings get hurt.

Don’t spend your energy attempting to make it right or trying to mend their feelings. Some people like to make you feel guilty just so you can continue to do things for them. You may feel bad, but at some point, you have to stop living for them and start living your life.

They’re not coming to save you, so you must take care of yourself, first.

Putting Yourself First

You’ve been so used to putting others before yourself, it seems odd to put your own needs first. You are not accountable for their life, but you are accountable for your own.

Think about when you go to work and ask for a promotion – why not take the time to promote yourself with your own personal business? Yes, it may take some time, but you’ll be able to call the shots yourself.

We’ve been trained to always look to others for what we need or want. You never get to truly live life on your terms, because you’re stuck in a place where you have to constantly ask for permission. If you choose yourself, you don’t have to convince anyone else of what you deserve.

Learn to trust yourself. If you want to make lots of money, make a plan and get started! Depending on your boss to provide for you is not smart. Get in the habit of doing for self, even if it takes time to materialize. Commit to a strong work ethic and the time will pass – before you know it, you’ll be the boss of your own life, truly doing as you wish.

Choose You

Self-care also involves self awareness, or how you see yourself. Thinking small of yourself and big of other people hinders your intentions. You can’t have a short, defeated outlook when it comes to pursuing your goal. Your abilities are just as good as anyone else’s, but you’ve got to be proactive and bold towards your plan.

Make little promises to yourself and keep them. That’s the key to believing in yourself and building courage. Exercise that characteristic within yourself and portray it – I am strong, I am beautiful, I am successful, I am smart, I am magnificent. Speak it into existence because you are what you say you are.

Develop the discipline to perform the habits that make you better and your ambition will soar. Expecting others to give you that feeling of worthiness will no longer exist because you can achieve it on your own.

Self-care is imperative. Don’t be afraid to choose yourself. No one is going to do it for you. Have your own back and create your own solutions. Depending on someone else puts you at risk. Take your own risks and be successful because you chose yourself.

#BeGoalden

How To Save Yourself

Photo by Jeff Isaak on Unsplash

We give so much of ourselves to other people. It’s the nice thing to do. What happens when you don’t have anymore left to give?

It should never get to this point, but it does. Everyday, we put others before ourselves. We make sure other people are fine, yet, we continue to strain ourselves through lack of sleep, ignoring our inner voice and most of all, sacrificing our peace of mind.

Everyone loves you and you’re an awesome and reliable person, but what happens if you just don’t show up?

This is why you must save yourself, FIRST. We can only do so much by saving other people from their problems. Their problems become our problems and we allow it.

Save yourself. Even when you’re in an airplane, they tell you to put your oxygen mask on before you help others. You can’t help anyone if you’re in trouble yourself.

  1. Say no. They’ll get over it. Most of all, they’ll learn to handle their own challenges and become more self-reliant. Or, they may find someone to replace you, but at least it won’t be you.
  2. Stop doing things. It’s easy to get caught up, doing everyday chores on autopilot. The truth is, if you can do it, so can they. Of course, no one can do it like you do it, but you have to remove yourself from the equation sometimes and let them figure it out.
  3.  Say ‘yes’ to yourself. Reward yourself. Take a random day off. Watch the sun set. Go to a park and feed the ducks. Stay in the bed a little longer. Do something for you. You deserve it more than anyone else, but no one is going to give you time to yourself – you must take it.

All of this is not to say don’t be helpful. It feels good to help out, but sometimes, people will take you for granted. They expect you to be their personal savior all the time.

Don’t let your niceness become your weakness.

Give yourself permission to say no. Take care of yourself – that’s the only way you’ll be able to help others when they really need it.

If you have a family, pace yourself. Tending to various needs of your loved ones can become a daunting task. Put a plan in place, so you won’t be worn out. Everyone can pitch in and help.

Most of all, take time for yourself. It’s okay to be selfish. You need to be selfish, so you can show up when it’s necessary. You’re not useful to anyone if you aren’t fit mentally and physically.

It’s hard to be great, especially when everyone else is constantly taking the best part of you. Take care of yourself, first. Your future self will thank you for taking the time to become a better you.

#BeGoalden