change Archives - The Goalden Lady

When You Complain, Does It Change?

We like to complain when things change. Life is full of moments that you love and moments that you wish never happened. Those experiences make you into who you are today.

Understand that adapting to change is necessary. If you don’t, your entire life will keep going in the same circle, day in and day out. Most people don’t like change, because it’s out of their routine and they don’t know what to expect – actually, you should expect to learn something.

Then, there are those things that we know will happen like clockwork, yet, we avoid the responsibility of preparing for it. Granted, it’s impossible to be ready for every little thing that could possibly happen, but having an emergency fund and keeping an umbrella in your car goes a very long way.

Paying bills is one of those things. If you think the internet bill is too much, don’t complain about it, simply find another provider or cut it off. Problem solved. There’s no need to expand on why it’s too much and how they should have done it.

Complain or Move

“Is your cucumber bitter? Throw it away. Are there briars in your path? Turn aside. That is enough.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

These are the types of little complaints that we spew everyday. “It’s always something,” you think. There are some things that occur on a regularly scheduled basis, but we still complain about it (like the bills), and it’s a total distraction and waste of energy.

Have a solutions-based mindset. Be proactive and responsible with your thoughts. Complaining all the time is a drag, not only to you, but to those around you. It benefits no one to constantly speak on things without suggesting a strategy to make it better.

Bring some type of value to your conversations (with yourself and with others). We all know that gas is expensive – how many different ways can you openly be bitter about it? Go to another gas station, purchase an electric vehicle or stay home.

We tend to make things harder than they have to be. We can solve most of our problems if we can get past the initial negative reaction. Getting stuck at the “complaint” stage encourages laziness and holds us back.

Don’t sabotage yourself – if you’re going to complain, do it for five seconds. Then, find an answer and move on. There are better things to do with your life than to waste it on something you’re likely going to continue doing anyway.

Opportunity Will Make You Shrink Or Grow

We’re given opportunity through various situations in life. Depending on how you respond, it can build you or break you. When things happen out of our daily rhythm, the opportunity is there, but we have a choice to either shrink back or grow ahead.

There’s no blueprint to life – no one knows what’s going to happen or how it will all end. The best thing we can do is control how we respond and make the right choices.

Blame And Complain Are Friends

One of the easiest things to do, especially when things don’t go our way, is to blame and complain – it’s almost impossible to do one without the other.

Blaming and complaining come as a package deal. If you use one, you’re bound to use the other. It’s the easiest way to avoid responsibility and the quickest way to escape accountability. It’s the lazy man’s “get out of jail free” card.

The lazy man doesn’t exactly get the point. As long as he’s blaming and complaining about his circumstances, others have control over him. If he won’t answer to himself, he’s only allowing others to answer for him.

Blaming and complaining lets you off the hook. It allows you to hand the reins to someone else to take charge. Just know that when you do this, the other person has power over what happens and can maneuver the situation at their will.

You could make suggestions, but you’re not the one holding the reins anymore, so ultimately, it’ll be their decision. This leads to coming up with excuses, just to make yourself feel better, because you gave up your opportunity.

We need to realize that opportunity can come in the form of hard work. It’s not always presented as being wrapped in a bow with a guaranteed happy ending. You must make the choice to commit and mold it into what you know it can become.

Blaming and complaining doesn’t give you that option.

Discomfort And Change Are Friends

Yes, opportunity is sneaky. It’s not easy to recognize, especially when everyone around you is expecting it to look pretty and enticing. You need to be able to spot it, even if it’s dressed ugly.

You wonder why it seems like others seem to have all the luck? It’s because they know how to see what other people look past. Opportunity looks uncomfortable and risky and too hard. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but you have to get in the trenches and make something out of it.

Discomfort and change are friends. They may not look good, but if you stay committed, you can make it into something beautiful – you can be one of the “lucky ones”.

When things look difficult and dirty, your first instinct is to leave it alone. Who wants to waste time working towards something that doesn’t look successful? Why keep trying if it doesn’t work out within the next day or two?

Train your mind to be flexible. When you’re flexible, you have the ability to move and think through any situation. Discomfort doesn’t scare you and change doesn’t make you freeze in your path. Instead, it makes you ambitious and resilient and that’s where the opportunity opens up.

We all have a choice to stand still or to move. Standing still is safe, but moving allows progress. Be uncomfortable for a little while, so you can build towards the comfort that you seek. Change is only hard in your mind – once you put one foot in front of the other, little changes grow into that opportunity you were looking for.

Growth Takes Courage

It takes a strong person to embrace discomfort and change. Anytime you have the choice to leave things as they are and play it safe, you’re letting your power slip away from you.

Courage is feeling the fear and following through – even in the face of defeat, you’ll find the strength to push through. The distractions will always be there. If it’s wrong, keep going until you make it right.

As they say, fortune favors the bold. Never be afraid of what might happen. Give yourself a chance to see how well you can adapt and adjust – always bet on yourself.

Discomfort and change are your teachers. It may hurt a little, but it won’t hurt for long. Don’t be afraid to grow yourself into the person you know you are.

Change Is What Grows You

Change is a scary concept to most people. Depending on how you look at it, it can be a terrible thing or life-changing.

We’ve been taught that change means something negative is about to happen, or that whatever it is, won’t work out.

As a result, we avoid change as much as we can. This stunts our growth and keeps us in the same place, year after year, yet, we wonder why nothing good is happening to us.

Change Your Perspective

Certain words strike a certain meaning when we hear it. We think failure means it’s over, a mistake means it can’t be done and a problem means to stop after the first attempt.

We associate all of these words in a negative way, but in reality, we can give them a more positive meaning. Failure means you’re learning, a mistake means you’re receiving feedback and a problem is simply a challenge.

Knowing that these words hold a different, more positive meaning, how does it make you feel? Do you think there’s a possibility that you can achieve your goal or do you still think it’s impossible?

Changing your perspective with words and different situations can help you become more productive. As you can see in the example above, words have power. When you change how you define those words, it changes your thought pattern and your habits for the better.

Fix Your Actions

Are you one of those people that does the same thing day in and day out and wonder why nothing is pushing you forward? It’s because you haven’t changed anything to spark something different to happen.

You must take responsibility for your own actions by changing what you do. Develop a different way to achieve what you want. We all hit a plateau after a while – that means it’s time to take it to the next level.

Don’t keep eating fast food and expect to lose twenty pounds. Ignoring your homework assignments won’t help you pass that class. Spending your money without saving or investing won’t get you closer to retirement. Something has to change.

Yes, change may be difficult, but if you want to be successful, it’s mandatory. You’ll have to change your habits if you want to see change in your life. You’re playing life backwards if you think you can get the best out of it by not putting in any effort. Even the best habits could use a little improvement.

How Do You See Change?

All change is not bad. It’s what promotes growth, challenges you and allows you to step into your greatness. Don’t be afraid if it comes up in your life – switch your perspective and follow through with confidence.

As long as you can control your response to what happens, you can make change positive. There are some things that happen out of your control, but if you can do something to make it better on the other side, change can be your friend.

If you want different results, you must be willing to shift. Everything you’ve done up to this point doesn’t have to stay the same – you can adapt and adjust at any given moment.

Nothing is written in stone. If you don’t like it (whatever it is), get up and do something about it. Make a change and watch how life opens up to progress and opportunity!

How To Change A Bad Past Into A Bright Future

Judging your future by your past impedes your progress and stifles your potential. If you have control over the possibilities, why not stretch and see how far you can go?

What is holding you back at this moment? Is there something you want to do, but that invisible voice keeps giving you excuses and telling you it’s not possible?

We’ve all experienced the doubts and fear that creeps into our minds, convincing us that it won’t work. All it takes is a few seconds of listening and we decide to play it safe, without even putting forth an effort.

Effort and failure is what carries you to success. Giving up because it didn’t work the last time you tried, is not the way to go – get out of your past and take action towards a better future.

The Past Is Your Teacher

Learning from the past can be a good blueprint for life. There are unfortunate things that happened, which you don’t care to experience anymore. This is helpful when making quick decisions.

Things like not putting your hand on a hot stove, or wearing a seat belt while riding in a car – those things can prevent significant harm or save your life altogether. Because of this, you depend on your past to help you in the future.

All of the various situations you experience in the past can contribute to how you live your life, currently. Some good, some bad, but it’s up to you to determine how it allows you to move forward.

The present is always happening. Your mind is constantly having thoughts and reacting to stimuli. Your past has a tremendous influence on each moment, as it occurs. How does this affect you in your everyday life?

The Past Doesn’t Decide Your Future

Sometimes, you can let your past dictate your present and future. Unconsciously, you can hold your present hostage by reacting with what you know, as opposed to doing something different to change the outcome.

If you had a bad business deal in the past, it doesn’t mean that every business deal will be bad. If you failed a science test, it doesn’t mean that you’ll fail every science test in the future.

Just because something went wrong the first time around doesn’t mean it will go wrong forever, whenever it happens. When it’s in your control to change the outcome, think of how you can adjust the details to make it work.

Turn the hot stove off, instead of touching it. Get past references before doing a business deal. Attempt to study in a different place before the science test. It is your responsibility to build your future by correcting the mistakes of the past.

How Analysis Paralysis Occurs

Analysis paralysis is a real obstacle. It’s when you overthink or consume so much information, you end up not doing anything at all. It’s better to proceed and make a mistake, because you learn what not to do and can make another attempt. Sitting still and not doing anything because of your fear of what might happen, is not effective.

Researching information is necessary for making decisions, but if you give yourself too many options, you’ll end up doing nothing. You’re so full of different choices, you become unable to make a move. The confusion alone becomes the new issue that needs to be conquered.

Realize that consulting with your past has it’s benefits. If anything, it should assist you in moving forward more strategically, putting you in a place to win. The rear view mirror is used to make better decisions, not to see how terribly wrong things might turn out.

It’s also important to note that you shouldn’t live in your past. Get whatever information and logic you need in order to make intentional moves, but don’t get stuck there. Some people will stay in the past a little too long and begin to overthink the outcome and hinder their growth. This is a common path to analysis paralysis.

Intentional Decisions

When thinking through a situation, you normally go back to your own understanding and experience, but your experience isn’t the only way to creating a definite solution.

If you grew up with parents who were drunk all of your life, you can make one of two decisions. Your experience will either teach you to be a drunk parent, or it will teach you that you don’t want to be a drunk parent. You may have experienced it, but it doesn’t mean you have to follow through in that particular way.

Make intentional decisions. Use your past experiences to make calculated moves in the future. It doesn’t make sense to make the same mistakes repeatedly, especially if you know better.

You can change your outlook on life by making forward-thinking choices. Allow your past to guide you, but don’t let it drive you down the same road that leads to nowhere. Let it give you the boost you need to make more intelligent and constructive choices. Everyone has a past – don’t let yours define you.

#BeGoalden

Turn Your Panic Into A Plan

Some things can be an inconvenience, like an unexpected bill or a flat tire. You might complain, get over it and you move on. Every once in a while, we come across a global inconvenience that puts the world on the edge of panic. We know what’s going on, but it feels weird because we don’t know exactly how to react or respond.

With the coronavirus, or COVID-19, its not that easy – we can’t be angry, complain, make a payment and go on with our lives. What started out as a distraction in another land, has turned into a disruption in our own homes.

When Panic Sets In

When we’re not familiar with an obstacle, our first reaction is to panic. There’s no plan, we’ve never seen it happen before and we have no idea where things are going.

We simply panic because we don’t know what to do. When everyone around you is just as afraid as you are, it causes confusion and anxiety. People begin to make up false information and conspiracies. Like the coronavirus, panic is contagious and spreads easily.

You see it when you go grocery shopping and everyone is filling their carts with tons of items and when you turn on the news and it’s plastered all over the television. It’s hard to ignore, so most of us join in, because if everyone else is panicking, something must really be wrong and we don’t want to be the oddball.

That’s how panic works. We see other people stockpiling groceries, so we do it too because we don’t want to be left without. The news keeps spewing statistics that may be close to true, so we allow it to put a halt on our daily lives.

When panic sets in, it causes us to not think for ourselves. We go with the crowd and panic along with them. Yes, the situation needs to be handled, but inviting panic into the equation doesn’t help you or the people around you.

Have A Panic Plan

How can you plan for the impossible? Is there a way to manage your life when life-altering events occur?

When things happen that you aren’t used to, remain calm and think. There’s no need for you to join the panic club and spazz out with everyone else.

Things may be different now – you may have to work from home, practice social distancing or quarantine yourself. These are actions that we’re not used to doing on a regular basis. It can be a scary time, but you still have control over how you respond in these types of situations.

Keep some sort of routine. Things are being done differently now, but that doesn’t mean to stop living your life. You still have goals to reach and obstacles to overcome. New challenges may present themselves during this time, but you want to practice being productive, as opposed to sitting in fear.

Even if you should become ill, you don’t want to just sit there, panic and be sick. You want to do what’s necessary to become healthy again. Taking charge and being worry-free is the first step.

Even though things are changing, stay consistent with your underlying goals. Don’t start making excuses, just because the virus is here. Keep practicing your public speaking, keep up with your diet, keep working on your business, etc. Whatever habits you had before, keep doing them and improving.

One of the most important keys to success is how well you can adapt to change.

Stay In Control

Although things are changing around us, we still have power over our productivity. There may be a global pandemic going on around us, but before you panic along with everyone else, think it through and see what you’re able to do.

Watch just enough news to get information and do your own research – when you have the knowledge, you can plan and respond, accordingly. Don’t watch it all day and allow it to feed your fear of what’s going on. That’s when it becomes worthless and you become paralyzed with panic.

Use your energy to focus on becoming well or doing something worthwhile. Keep or create your routine. Maintaining a sense of normalcy will save time and stress.

When you don’t know what to do, it’s best to do what you know. Don’t sit and panic – keep up your habits and continue moving forward, doing the best you can do.

#BeGoalden

Change Is Uncomfortable, And That’s Good

Change makes us uncomfortable, but it’s nothing to be afraid of. Your ability to overcome a sudden challenge is greater than you think.

Building rituals and routines into your life is necessary. After all, it helps with productivity and time management efforts and it makes us feel comfortable when we know what to expect.

What happens when we encounter change? Instead of going right, your idea goes left? Do you overreact to what’s going on or do you keep a level head and flow with it?

Change Is Uncomfortable…

Things happen – it’s a part of life. Every now and then, something knocks us off balance and we don’t like it.

For the most part, we have to address the situation. We really don’t want to, especially when we’re in a good place. No one likes to stop and figure out what’s wrong, when everything has been going right.

Change can make you feel uncomfortable, stressed out, fearful, awkward, and sometimes, embarrassed. When you don’t have an immediate solution, it can be scary.

…And That’s Good

Rather than having negative thoughts and emotions towards change, embrace it. You’re about to learn something that you wouldn’t have, otherwise.

This is an opportunity for you to gain more knowledge about what works and what doesn’t work. It’s your chance to figure things out and enhance your thinking skills.

Don’t run from it. Take advantage of what’s about to happen. No matter what the situation is, there’s always something to gain from it.

Open your mind and shift your perspective. Your brain has a way of introducing new ideas and unique thoughts into your life. You may not like it, but remember: it’s not a problem, it’s a challenge and that’s what makes you mentally stronger.

Be Flexible

Be water, my friend.
Bruce Lee

Change is inescapable. You can not avoid it or make it go away. When you begin to accept it, as opposed to resisting it, you take on the responsibility of stepping up to the plate and allowing yourself to grow.

Be flexible. Your journey won’t be a straight line. If you want to be an achiever, you have to learn to bend with flow. Most people will give up at this point, all because it’s not going the way they envisioned it.

When you take on those obstacles, there’s always a lesson to learn. Don’t quit because it becomes difficult- this is where growth happens. You are more than capable of handling any kind of change that comes your way. Don’t sell yourself short.

Grow Through It

So, how do you handle change? You face it head on. Take a moment to have your emotions, but you must remember that it still needs to be taken care of.

Change is not easy, but remember that you will come out on the other side successfully. You may be a little bruised, but you’re fine – you conquered it and you’re okay.

The next time it happens, it won’t be a surprise. You’ll be that much more skilled in how to manage it. Don’t just go through it, grow through it. You’ll begin to appreciate change, because you’ll find that it builds you into an incredible person.

#BeGoalden

Suicide: Don’t Overthink Yourself To Death

This message is for anyone who has ever contemplated ending their own life.

I can imagine that there are many factors that contribute to that very thought.

Being positive can be hard. People can be mean and difficult. Things don’t always go the way we want them to go. Life can be tough. We all have days, weeks and months where nothing is ever right.

You were made to be here and spread your gift. You are not a mistake. Everyone is here for a reason and you must find yours. Don’t give in to those who try to make your life a living hell.

Don’t think you’re alone – you’re not the only one. There are millions of people on this planet that have to make the effort to live their life everyday. They have struggled with the idea of giving up. Please find your strength and make the decision to live.

Talk to someone – there is help for you. Just like anybody else, you deserve to be here. If people are trolling you online, turn off your device. If people are bothering you at school or at work, tell an adult or a superior, or change location.

The opportunities for you to reinvent yourself and simply start over are endless.

Things can change for the better, but you have to believe it and act towards the type of change you seek. Nothing positive can happen without your input. You’re the only one that can make things better. Your life is your responsibility – don’t leave it in someone else’s hands.

The possibilities in life are limitless. Taking your own life only leaves the rest of us to suffer without the wonderful things you have to offer. If your breakthrough was coming tomorrow, would you give up today?

Continue to fight for your life because the best is yet to come. There are people who care about you and actually want you to be here! It’s never worth it to end your life – you’re not finished yet. There is something amazing in all of us. Your struggle may help someone else through their hard time.

Don’t overthink yourself to death – you can get through this. There is a reason you are still here – take it one day at a time and keep living.

This message was written with love. If you need help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 or chat online at The Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

#BeGoalden