challenges Archives - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: Why Worrying Won’t Work

When unpleasant challenges arise, the first thing most people do is worry. It’s a reaction that lives on autopilot in your mind, ready to go when needed. Not only does worrying affect you on the inside, it affects how you perceive things on the outside. Let’s see why worrying won’t work.

Don’t be a Worry Wart. What is a Worry Wart? As soon as something out of the basic routine happens, you begin to stress about it.

“What’s going to happen?”
“Why did it happen?”
“Who did this to me?”
“What am I going to do?”

All types of questions, along with several negative emotions, start to run rampant in your mind.

This raises your stress levels. You begin to attempt to answer those questions in your mind. Nothing is working out in your favor. Is there a number to call? Is there someone you can speak to about the situation?

You want answers because you simply don’t know why this is happening to you. Therefore, you just continue to worry because you don’t know what else to do.

Sometimes, it’s simply something that you, the Worry Wart, did to yourself that caused the issue. After that, you can’t be mad and stressed about it anymore. Take responsibility and deal with the consequences.

On the other hand, it may have been a mistake that needs to be corrected. You follow instructions on how to fix the flaw and it’s done. No more worrying because you resolved it.

In both cases, your mind went into a frenzy because you didn’t know what was going on. There’s a way to save yourself from the stress of worrying, but it takes practice.

When you receive bad news or something happens out of your control, talk to someone or simply do the research. Spazzing out doesn’t help and most of all, it won’t solve your issue.

When you get emotional about things you can’t control, it affects your surroundings, as well. You may take it out on the kids, friends, and you’re unpleasant to be around. You’re just an all around grump until you figure out what’s going on.

That’s the thing – figure out what’s going on. That’s what needs to happen. You’re only making it worse for yourself and those around you.

Learn to respond, instead of react.

When you let your emotions get the best of you, it normally doesn’t end well. Not only does being emotional make it worse, you’re also not solving anything. Nothing gets done.

It’s normal to have an initial emotional reaction. Don’t let it overtake you into worry world. Start thinking about what you can do to help the situation or to solve the issue. Do what you can. If you can’t control it at the moment, leave it alone until you’re able to figure it out.

When you respond, you come out with better results. It works out for you and those around you. Sometimes, you’re unable to do anything about certain situations until a period of time has passed. There’s no need to put yourself and others through hell because in the end, you could be worrying about nothing.

Worrying won’t help. It only takes up your precious time and for some, can even lead to health problems. Do what you can and be calm enough so you can resolve the issue. Decide to respond around your emotions and not in your emotions. If you do this, you’ll have a better handle on taking care of what needs to be done.

Finding The Experience Within The Obstacle

Life is full of situations that go wrong, or at least, that’s the way we see it. Actually, these experiences show us who we are and what we’re made of.

You break up with a significant other, you get into a car accident, you’re 2 credits short of graduating, your shoe got caught in the vent – it goes on and on. How do you handle these moments?

Failing Is An Experience

Most of the time, things don’t go right the first time around. When that happens, is it a hint to just stop?

Most people will take it as a hint from the universe that they should give up. Failure isn’t bad, it’s just another way of saying something isn’t working. It’s an experience to learn from and do better. Taking action shouldn’t stop if you fail.

Get past what you were taught about failing – it’s not the end, it’s a suggestion. Don’t worry about others laughing at you or waiting for you to fall flat on your face. They won’t be laughing when they see your success, but you must keep failing until you get it right.

Failure simply means: this didn’t work, so try something else. Eventually, you’ll hit the nail on the head, but only if you stay focused and involved.

When Disaster Strikes

Life has a way of letting us know who’s in charge. Everything could be going well and then, something totally out of the ordinary happens.

When disaster strikes, there’s no doubt that it hurts in some way. It’s not what you expected, it happened at a bad time or, it puts your life on hold. If you’re unable to handle it immediately, you may have to take some time to work towards a solution.

Most people will play victim in these types of situations, because they are too lazy or they just don’t want to face it and deal with it. They will blame it on something or someone else and complain about the circumstances. It’s an easy way out.

While it may be true that you didn’t deserve what happened, it prepares you to conquer challenges on a greater level. It may not be what you’re used to, but if you’re determined, you’ll come out in a better position than you were before.

Save Yourself

When we have these experiences, we look to others for some sort of help or relief. That may not always be convenient, so you’re going to have to learn to save yourself.

The experiences that happen to you, are for you to learn from – it is unique to your life. What you learn from misfortune will help you in the long run, as long as you choose to cope with it constructively.

For example, what happens if you’re short on money? Most people ask for help. When you ask someone for help, they don’t have it (or pretend they don’t have it). The only option you have left, is to save yourself. Will you sink or swim? Put yourself in a position to be independent, as much as possible.

This is why it’s important to stay 10 steps ahead. If you’re short on money, maybe you should create a budget, get a second job or start your own side business. Do something with that negative experience and turn it into a teachable moment and thrive. Master the art of independence, so you won’t have to constantly be disappointed by depending on others.

Embrace The Experience

As bad as it seems, it won’t last forever. Don’t become a victim of your own life. You’re living the blueprint. Learn the lesson, be persistent and move forward with confidence.

There will be all kinds of experiences throughout life, but it encourages your personal growth. It’s not to tear you down – it’s to help develop your character and work towards your potential.

Whenever you catch yourself in a bad situation, ask, “What can I learn from this?” It’s not an easy thing to do while you’re going through it, but it will prepare you for any future challenge that may come your way.

#BeGoalden

Change Is Uncomfortable, And That’s Good

Change makes us uncomfortable, but it’s nothing to be afraid of. Your ability to overcome a sudden challenge is greater than you think.

Building rituals and routines into your life is necessary. After all, it helps with productivity and time management efforts and it makes us feel comfortable when we know what to expect.

What happens when we encounter change? Instead of going right, your idea goes left? Do you overreact to what’s going on or do you keep a level head and flow with it?

Change Is Uncomfortable…

Things happen – it’s a part of life. Every now and then, something knocks us off balance and we don’t like it.

For the most part, we have to address the situation. We really don’t want to, especially when we’re in a good place. No one likes to stop and figure out what’s wrong, when everything has been going right.

Change can make you feel uncomfortable, stressed out, fearful, awkward, and sometimes, embarrassed. When you don’t have an immediate solution, it can be scary.

…And That’s Good

Rather than having negative thoughts and emotions towards change, embrace it. You’re about to learn something that you wouldn’t have, otherwise.

This is an opportunity for you to gain more knowledge about what works and what doesn’t work. It’s your chance to figure things out and enhance your thinking skills.

Don’t run from it. Take advantage of what’s about to happen. No matter what the situation is, there’s always something to gain from it.

Open your mind and shift your perspective. Your brain has a way of introducing new ideas and unique thoughts into your life. You may not like it, but remember: it’s not a problem, it’s a challenge and that’s what makes you mentally stronger.

Be Flexible

Be water, my friend.
Bruce Lee

Change is inescapable. You can not avoid it or make it go away. When you begin to accept it, as opposed to resisting it, you take on the responsibility of stepping up to the plate and allowing yourself to grow.

Be flexible. Your journey won’t be a straight line. If you want to be an achiever, you have to learn to bend with flow. Most people will give up at this point, all because it’s not going the way they envisioned it.

When you take on those obstacles, there’s always a lesson to learn. Don’t quit because it becomes difficult- this is where growth happens. You are more than capable of handling any kind of change that comes your way. Don’t sell yourself short.

Grow Through It

So, how do you handle change? You face it head on. Take a moment to have your emotions, but you must remember that it still needs to be taken care of.

Change is not easy, but remember that you will come out on the other side successfully. You may be a little bruised, but you’re fine – you conquered it and you’re okay.

The next time it happens, it won’t be a surprise. You’ll be that much more skilled in how to manage it. Don’t just go through it, grow through it. You’ll begin to appreciate change, because you’ll find that it builds you into an incredible person.

#BeGoalden

How To Bounce Back From A Setback

We all have them – setbacks that happen and turn our lives upside down. Whether you were expecting it or not, setbacks have a way of making you feel less than your best.

Your initial reaction to a setback is mostly based on emotion. You may go through a period of self-reflection, think of ways you could have avoided it, or you could just be plain angry that it happened.

It may not seem productive, but one of the best things you can do is get it out of your system. Think those thoughts, scream in your pillow – do whatever it takes for you to eliminate those negative feelings, because you don’t want to keep coming back to them, after you decide to move on.

Move Into Your New Future

It’s very hard to see what the future will bring. You may have already had your future planned out and now, you have to make some changes.

Once you’ve given yourself time to get those raw emotions out of your system, get on with it and make new plans. This is the time where you get to make adjustments for a better outcome.

Move into your new future. It may not look good while you’re going through your setback, but imagine what you want and how you plan to get it. You could even keep your old plan, but now, you just have to create a new route to get there.

Check Your Perspective

Your perspective can be a game-changer. Anything can be good or bad, depending on how you choose to look at it.

Maybe your setback needed to happen, so you could put yourself in a better position to receive an opportunity. Or, it may have happened because it really wasn’t helping you toward your personal goals.

People rarely check their perspective when going through a challenge. In hindsight, you’ll see what needed to happen in order for things to fall together in your favor. We never see it while we’re actually in it, but make an attempt to see it now, rather than later.

Changing your perspective can also give you the determination you need to follow through. Having to deal with change is hard enough, but if you can keep a positive outlook, it can pull you through some tough times.

A Setback Is Part Of The Come Up

When you have setbacks, it’s not the end. Think of it as the foundation of your come up.

How many times have you worried about something, only to find out later that it wasn’t worth worrying about? We’ve been taught to think the worst about everything, but when we shift our thoughts to something more positive, we can be more productive.

Being more productive allows you to make sound decisions and take action. This is the beginning of your come up and you are in control of making it happen. This is where you begin to build your new story.

It’s Not The End

For most people, a setback paralyzes them. They don’t know what to do and they become confused and stagnant.

When you think about it, this is where people start to grow. Look at it as the beginning of a new chapter in your life. You’re smarter and you get to direct all of your moves and go where you want to go.

Although it may be difficult, don’t give up on yourself. You are better than you think you are. Instead of leaving it up to someone else, take a chance and do it the way you want to. If something else goes wrong, don’t run from it – deal with it. Lean into your new future, change your perspective and create your come up.

You got this. Always bet on yourself.

#BeGoalden