Blog - Page 19 of 50 - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: If You Want To Succeed, Learn To Level Up

(Written pre-COVID19)

In some parts of the world, it’s ‘back to school’ time and students are preparing to level up – everyone is getting ready for the next grade. This means that the work may be a bit more challenging, but you’re expected to learn and make progress.

Once we leave school, moving forward to the next level (or, the next grade) stops. There’s no one there to care if we continue to advance to the next part of our lives.

The Process Of Leveling Up

In school, you were given a certain curriculum to complete for whatever grade you were in. If you did the work and passed the tests, you were promoted to the next grade.

Every grade demands another level of intelligence and presents a new set of challenges. The ultimate goal is to get to the next grade, successfully.

Every year, you would be promoted to the next grade and learn something that built upon what you learned the year before. It was a process that allowed you to achieve your academic goals, while increasing your thinking skills.

What Happened?

After graduating from the final phase of school, we settled into working a job, paying bills and living for the weekend. There were no more levels for us to accomplish.

School may have it’s faults, but one thing it did teach was the value of having levels in your life. Having levels in your life, like school, helps you to focus on moving forward and making major strides in your life.

The most we do now is make New Year’s resolutions. For most of us, that only lasts until the end of January and the rest of the year is uneventful.

As adults, we don’t plan different levels and phases of our lives. We tend to just ‘wing it’ and hope for the best. At most, we do just enough to get by and that leads to surviving, as opposed to living.

There Are Levels To Life

Even though we’re happy to be out of school, we don’t go on to live a happy, productive life. No one is holding us accountable to go to the next level, so we’re stuck on that one level where school left off.

In order to succeed at anything in life, you must create a system of levels. Writing down your goals are great, but once you figure out what to do, you have to take action and follow through.

Taking action will lead to mistakes and things going wrong. Once you overcome that challenge, you’re on to the next level. This is where progress is made and goals are accomplished.

Have A System In Place

Create a strategy for your goals. Keep a record of what works and what doesn’t. Build on your progress by measuring your results.

If you want to lose 2 pounds a week, write down what you will eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, for each day of the week. Keep track of what you actually ate, compared to what you were supposed to eat. When you review your results, you can make adjustments to do better the following week.

Having a system in place will hold you responsible and give you direction. When you write it down and record your outcomes, you can easily determine how to proceed more efficiently in the future.

After graduating from school, never stop learning – be a student of life. Put a system in place to keep advancing towards your dreams. Hold yourself accountable and keep following through. Continue to level up until you have the life you’ve always imagined!

#BeGoalden

Dealing With Your Flaws And Mistakes

Who do you look up to? Have you ever seen them make a big mistake while performing their craft? Did they expose a flaw you didn’t know they had?

Whether it’s a celebrity, someone who owns a Fortune 500 company, or old Joe from down the street, everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. It may be embarrassing at the time, but it’s something we have to learn to get over.

Your Feelings Get In The Way

Everyone has had an embarrassing moment that they wished never happened. Even Oprah took a dive on stage at an event, but got back up and continued her talk.

We see people like Oprah and we think nothing of it, because they’re well known, so it doesn’t matter. Did it faze her? Maybe a little, but not enough to stop her. Was she physically hurt? Probably so, but she didn’t let it get in the way of what she was doing.

Are you the same way? Most people let their feelings get in the way, even if the situation is not that bad. When something happens that causes you to feel some kind of way, you want to run and hide. No one likes to be the center of attention in their moment of pain.

Flaws Exist In Everyone

Embarrassment is too much to handle when we don’t know how to respond. What if Oprah would’ve left in the middle of her talk because she felt annoyed at falling down in front of a crowd?

Having flaws is a part of life. Messing up happens along the journey. Making mistakes is how we learn. The best way to respond is to move on, without remaining stuck in that moment.

If you need to apologize, then apologize. If you need to correct it, correct it. Giving your energy to something that has already happened can lead to halting your progress. Continue to be productive – there’s no need to hold on to the past with your feelings.

Be Calm And Carry On

Most of the time, it’s only a big deal if you make it a big deal. Imagine stopping every time you felt incapable or you made a mistake – you would never accomplish anything.

Focus your energy on the results that you want. Anticipate the obstacles and challenges, because they will happen. Be your own super hero and fight through whatever gets in your way! It may slow you down, but it shouldn’t stop you.

Unfortunately, setbacks never go away, but they do make you stronger. It helps you to become more flexible when the unexpected happens. Develop the habit of making adjustments when things go left and it will work to your advantage.

Handle your flaws, and everything in between, with grace. You have the power to thrive in any situation, even in those embarrassing moments. Don’t be distracted and react – face it with confidence and continue to move forward, mistakes, flaws and all.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Distractions That Work Against Your Attention

We all encounter distractions and nonsense on a daily basis. Whether it’s at work, on TV or on social media, it’s always there, fighting for our attention.

As a result, we’ve become immune to it. It’s doesn’t present a challenge to us any more because we’re so used to it. Becoming used to it has given us permission to just deal with it and to allow it into our minds.

Where Is Your Attention Going?

Here are a few ways you’re working against yourself and how you can work towards doing better.

You have your notifications on. When you’re working, your attention is supposed to be focused on what’s in front of you, 100%. As soon as you hear a ‘ting’, you look up to see who or what it’s about. Someone just posted another funny cat video. Now, your attention is broken and it will take a considerable amount of time to get it back. Turn off those notifications! It can wait until you’re done.
You overindulge yourself with information. Yes, it is critical to do research and collect information for what you’re doing, but sometimes, it can be too much. If you want to learn how to sew, do enough research to start. You don’t have to watch 50 videos and read 50 websites to take action. Look up the necessary information and go out and do it! Getting caught up in being a professional researcher only allows for procrastination and when you procrastinate, you don’t start!
You leave your mind open to anything. Your mindset is the most important asset you own. It’s good to have an open mind, but determine what is useful and what needs to go. Stop letting garbage enter your mind. It could be in the form of gossip, reality TV, social media, etc. Control what goes into your mind. If you plant good seeds, they will grow. If you plant bad seeds, they will also grow (weeds), but which would you prefer? It affects your attitude and your day when you consume garbage. Take in some motivational videos, get around good people and have meaningful conversations.
You hit snooze every morning. Just wake up. Why do we fight waking up every single morning? That’s the first struggle of many throughout the day. Whenever you hit the snooze button, you never get more sleep. Figure out whether an earlier bedtime would help, a cold shower or a cleaner diet, but whatever it is, see how you can avoid that daily battle. It sets the tone for the rest of the day and it allows for a stressful start. It’s easier said than done, but it shouldn’t be overlooked. Develop a better routine to greeting your day.

It’s Your Decision

Not only will these things cause you to work against yourself, they cause anxiety, as well. You can blame it on other factors, but you have power over what you do and how you do it. Even if you’re unable to control your environment, you can still make adjustments. Don’t just sit there and take it.

Fighting against yourself and being counterproductive is all on you. Decide what goes into your mind, decide to take action and decide to work fully focused. You can control all of these things. All it takes is a present mindset and intentional action. You can do it!

#BeGoalden

What Does It Take To Be A Success?

Success is something that everyone wants to experience. It motivates you to do more, opens doors of opportunity and gives you proof that anything can be done.

The process of getting to success seems easy, but it all starts with how you think and respond to certain situations. You need to have a positive mindset before you begin any goal, if you plan to succeed.

The Success Mindset

Before you start anything in life, it’s important to know where your mind is. Are you in a good space, mentally? Do current events have an effect on you or the way you think? Are you able to see past the distractions and focus on what needs to be done?

If you have a scarcity mindset, it will work against you. It guides you into thinking the worst of every situation and if you do that, you’ve already lost. This type of thinking never produces success. Think in abundance and be optimistic. If you’re going to think, think the best.

Put the negative thoughts to rest. It doesn’t make sense to stop yourself before you start, so give yourself the benefit. Anything can be done – it’s been proven many times over in different situations throughout history. Your job is to believe it and follow through with the details.

Building Your Success Story

What is your story? How do you want it to end?

Visualizing the plan to reach your goals will help tremendously. If you’re unable to see it in your mind, how can you begin to take action towards it?

Find a quiet space to visualize your success. Sit comfortably and take a few deep breaths. Close your eyes and imagine with certainty, the path you’ll take to become successful. Smell it, feel it, taste it, see it and hear it all. Play this in your mind, just like a movie and you’re the star – you’re in full control.

Spend time doing this exercise daily. It doesn’t have to take long, but it connects your journey from your mind to reality. You are the director of your movie, therefore, you can make anything happen.

See it and believe it.

Taking Action And Making It Happen

It doesn’t end there. The next step is taking action and making it happen.

Most people think that once they believe it, everything should fall into place and they’ll magically become a success. Reading inspiring books and following a morning ritual helps, but there’s still work to do.

Getting started is the most important part of taking action. Don’t overthink it, just begin. You may think that everything needs to be perfect, but it doesn’t have to be – learn and correct it as you go along. There’s always a convenient reason to procrastinate. Put one foot in front of the other and keep improving.

Things will happen. Don’t let a bump in the road throw you off course. Figure out what needs to be done and keep going. It may take an hour or it may take a week, but in order to make progress, you’ll have to get past these challenges.

If you get stuck, ask for help. Whether it’s someone you know who has experience, or an online platform, use your resources to get the answer. Giving up is the easy way out, but you’ll only have to keep starting over if you quit. Do what you have to do, to complete the task.

The Magic Is In The Journey

When you’ve finally reached your success and begin planning the next steps, you’ll realize a couple of things.

First, success isn’t final. It’s not something you achieve once and it remains for the rest of your life. Success takes upkeep. It can slip away from you easier than it came. Keep setting higher goals and working towards it, or it’ll stop completely.

Secondly, the journey is what makes you. Success is awesome, but the magic is in the journey. All of the obstacles, learning different strategies and stretching your potential is what brought you here – success is just the cherry on top.

Once you’ve developed these skills, you can be successful repeatedly, no matter how different your end goal is. The knowledge you gained throughout the process is what’s important. Take that knowledge, apply it to everything you do and create a successful life!

#BeGoalden

#TBT: The Struggle Is Necessary

When you’re going through a struggle, it seems like everything is going down hill. You see no way for things to get better. There is no sign of hope, no matter where you turn.

The important thing is to keep going. Don’t give up on getting past the obstacle. It may last a week or a year, but you must see it through to the end. Close that chapter of your life so you can move on and continue to make progress.

It’s easier said than done, but surely you want to be on the other side, doing a victory dance. How you react to your struggle has an effect on how you handle things in your life, overall. There are three parts in a struggle where you can stop. Take a look and decide where you want to be:

The beginning. When a struggle first appears, it can be scary. Unless it’s something you’ve been through and you know how to deal with it, it can be difficult finding a solution. This is where some people stop. The struggle hasn’t even begun and they automatically make the assumption that they can’t do it – it’s too hard. This response promotes complacency. They’ll likely be stuck in the same rut for the rest of their lives.
The middle. Some people will give it a shot. They’ll start the process and gain a little momentum. When another challenge comes up, they’ll acknowledge it, but if nothing happens, they give up. When progress slows down, they slow down along with it. Nothing happens because they stopped putting in the effort to push forward. They never witness the breakthrough that was around the corner.
The end. Few people get to the end. Those that do, are rewarded greatly. There may have been countless struggles within the big struggle, but they stood their ground and kept moving forward. They may have even slowed down, but they never quit. These are the people who have their mind set on success. They can close that chapter in their book and take on the next necessary struggle in their journey.

Struggle happens to everyone – there’s no way around it, but to go through it. There are even struggles where you make the decision to cut your losses and move on to something else. Just because it’s a struggle doesn’t mean you have to go through it, but it has to be the struggle that relates to your end goal. There will be times where you’ll know, “This isn’t the right one.”

At the same time, whenever a struggle presents itself, don’t quit before you start. Just because it came at the wrong time doesn’t mean you instantly dismiss it. Know what struggle to take on. If it’s something that will get you closer to your goal, go for it. If it has nothing to do with what you’re dealing with, it’s okay to let it go.

Sometimes, people take on other people’s struggles as their own. It’s enough to handle your own challenges, let alone, taking on someone else’s. Know your struggle and let others handle theirs.

Your struggle is the way to your accomplishments.

That’s the path to your future. Every successful person has a story about how they got to where they are. If you avoid your struggle, you are ignoring the responsibility of creating the outcome of your life.

Don’t look at your struggle as an inconvenience. We see it as a bad thing, but once you master it, it gives you the ability to operate on a higher level in the future. It’s forcing you upward, towards your greatness. Success is the reward for overcoming potential defeat.

The struggle is necessary. Don’t be so comfortable or conceited that you refuse to go through it. Decide to move forward one step at a time. It’s always worth it in the end.

#BeGoalden

Attaching Yourself To Other People’s Problems

Do you take on other people’s problems? Is your life really overwhelming, or do you make it overwhelming? There’s a fine line between accepting your own challenges and accepting everyone else’s.

Your friend tells you what happened and they want your advice. At work, your co-worker confides in you about issues at home. Everyday, you get a dose of other people’s problems.

Are other people’s problems really your mountains to climb? Do you carry the baggage with you, even though it’s not yours?

O.P.P. (Other People’s Problems)

Everyone has issues. We’re all attempting to navigate this life the best we can. How can you be effective at finding a solution for yourself, when you’re bombarded with other people’s problems?

There is a certain point where you need to be selfish with your advice. You must cut yourself off from being involved in their drama. It’s nice to offer a listening ear, but don’t get emotionally attached to the entire situation.

Showing concern is the polite thing to do. It’s interesting and you want to know how it goes and what happened. This can go on and on – it’s like a soap opera happening in real time. At times, it can sound more exciting than your own life.

Other people’s problems can easily become a hobby of yours. People like to come to you all of the time because you offer great guidance. Don’t let their situations consume your mind space. It’s easy to become too curious – their problems become your problems and their emotions become your emotions.

It’s not rude to break away for your own sanity. Once you’re done talking and providing a listening ear, leave it there. Go on about your life and do what you’re going to do. The next time you see them, be considerate, but don’t take it with you.

Focus On What’s In Front Of You

What are you doing now? Are you fully present with focus, or is your mind distracted by other floating thoughts?

That’s what happens when you take on the mental weight of your friend’s issues. We tend to think about others before we think of ourselves. It makes us feel like we’re helping them and they need us.

The issues that you’re dealing with in front of you need a solution. When you allow your mind to drift, you’re not being fair to yourself. Put other people’s problems (that don’t belong to you) to the side and concentrate on you.

Don’t carry confusion with you from one place to another. Pay attention to the present moment and give it your all. You’re wasting time and energy by trying to solve mysteries that don’t belong to you.

The Side Effects Of O.P.P.

Making yourself accessible to others can be emotionally draining. The feelings that go into these situations can literally wear you down. Limit your availability to the drama in other people’s lives.

If you let it, it will become your issue and others will look to you to create a solution for them, as well. It’s no longer their challenge to overcome. You must draw the line and give them space to handle it themselves. Again, it’s not your mountain to climb.

Learn to step away. Leave the baggage where you found it. Move on with your intentions and be fully present with what you’re facing. Don’t defeat yourself, by trying to help everyone else win.

Everyone has to be responsible for their own issues. You can help every now and then, but don’t become the problem-solver for them. Be a good listener, offer a helpful word and leave it there. You can be supportive of others without taking on their challenges. Bring your focus back to being effective and forward moving with your own life.

#BeGoalden

Self-Care: Start Choosing Yourself

Self-care is something we need, but we don’t practice enough of. We’re taught to be respectful and to love one another. Be considerate and kind to everyone you meet – everything that describes the Golden Rule.

What happened to us? Did anyone ever show us how to be independent and love ourselves? We become so caught up in being available to others, yet, we cheat ourselves out of a fulfilling life.

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

People will call you selfish when you do something that doesn’t include or benefit them. You could have given them a million dollars last week, but you’re ‘selfish’ because you didn’t visit them yesterday.

You’ve done all you can to please them and make them happy. Even if they’ve never done anything for you, it makes you feel a certain amount of guilt when they complain about how you treat them.

It’s not your responsibility to make others happy. If you do something nice, that’s great, but if they don’t appreciate it, move on. As a matter of fact, don’t do it for appreciation, do it because you like doing nice things for people. When you expect something in return, emotions get involved and feelings get hurt.

Don’t spend your energy attempting to make it right or trying to mend their feelings. Some people like to make you feel guilty just so you can continue to do things for them. You may feel bad, but at some point, you have to stop living for them and start living your life.

They’re not coming to save you, so you must take care of yourself, first.

Putting Yourself First

You’ve been so used to putting others before yourself, it seems odd to put your own needs first. You are not accountable for their life, but you are accountable for your own.

Think about when you go to work and ask for a promotion – why not take the time to promote yourself with your own personal business? Yes, it may take some time, but you’ll be able to call the shots yourself.

We’ve been trained to always look to others for what we need or want. You never get to truly live life on your terms, because you’re stuck in a place where you have to constantly ask for permission. If you choose yourself, you don’t have to convince anyone else of what you deserve.

Learn to trust yourself. If you want to make lots of money, make a plan and get started! Depending on your boss to provide for you is not smart. Get in the habit of doing for self, even if it takes time to materialize. Commit to a strong work ethic and the time will pass – before you know it, you’ll be the boss of your own life, truly doing as you wish.

Choose You

Self-care also involves self awareness, or how you see yourself. Thinking small of yourself and big of other people hinders your intentions. You can’t have a short, defeated outlook when it comes to pursuing your goal. Your abilities are just as good as anyone else’s, but you’ve got to be proactive and bold towards your plan.

Make little promises to yourself and keep them. That’s the key to believing in yourself and building courage. Exercise that characteristic within yourself and portray it – I am strong, I am beautiful, I am successful, I am smart, I am magnificent. Speak it into existence because you are what you say you are.

Develop the discipline to perform the habits that make you better and your ambition will soar. Expecting others to give you that feeling of worthiness will no longer exist because you can achieve it on your own.

Self-care is imperative. Don’t be afraid to choose yourself. No one is going to do it for you. Have your own back and create your own solutions. Depending on someone else puts you at risk. Take your own risks and be successful because you chose yourself.

#BeGoalden

Replace Your Old Thinking, With New Thinking

Replace Old Thinking Habits Wiith New Thinking Habits

Too much thinking can make things harder in our minds, than they are in reality. Whenever we’re assigned a new responsibility, there’s a little hesitation that comes along with it.

Taking on something new seems hard, simply because you’ve never done it, or you don’t want to do it. You start to think about all the things that could go wrong, instead of what could go right.

Shift your perspective. It’s an opportunity to grow and learn something new. Let’s take a look at how we can adjust our thinking to accommodate our improvement.

From Old Thinking To New Thinking

Old Thinking: “This is how we’ve always done it.” You want to stay comfortable. This can be a challenge within itself. Doing things the same way seems to be the perfect routine, but routines can become outdated. Knowing how you’re going to do something does work in your favor, but at the same time, you should consider adjusting your routine, if it can be more efficient.
New Thinking: “There’s always room for improvement.” All it takes is a little more time to see if something new will benefit you. The way technology is today, things change all the time. There’s always a better way to do things. Keep an open mind – what used to take you 30 minutes, might take you 10 minutes if you attempt the new way.
Old Thinking: “That’s okay, I’m good.” You’re scared of success. Instead of doing a little more and finding a way to accomplish your goal, you self-sabotage. You tell yourself that you really don’t want it, but in fact, you really do. Being afraid to take a chance on yourself breeds laziness.
New Thinking: “How can I make this happen?” Your focus is now on the solution, not the ‘problem’. Starting the process of figuring out a path is the first step. Be confident! When you write down your ideas, your mind begins to create more ideas and different ways to reach your results.
Old Thinking: “What will people say?” You fear judgment from others. It scares you to do something that might fail, because someone will make fun of you or criticize what you did. This is another form of self-sabotage. People insult others out of their own insecurities – they’re taking the attention away from themselves and putting it on you. They think they’ll fail, so they think you’ll fail, too.
New Thinking: “I got this.” Move forward and continue to make progress. The people who drag you down and insult your actions will see your success and change their tune. Have the courage to stay persistent, even when it seems it’s not working. This is how you get to the next level of a better you. Keep your focus and resist comparing yourself to others – this is your race.

Think For Yourself

Never doubt your abilities. Anything is possible, but you must be dedicated to the process in order to see the achievement. It doesn’t work if you keep stopping based on what someone says or your own hindering thoughts.

Enhancing your life is not easy. Train your thinking towards abundance and positivity. Encourage yourself. There’s no shame in changing your mind to becoming more proactive. Go ahead and raise your standards and work above them. Think for yourself and take pride in what you have accomplished.

Do the hard things – everyone else is doing the easy things, that’s why there’s no growth there. Don’t get stuck by accepting what is – do your own thinking and create what you imagine. Make each day count towards your plan. Take the road less traveled and enjoy the many successes along the way.

#BeGoalden

Make The Commitment To Do Your Best Everyday

Commitment begins with a thought or an idea. The goal is to stick with the task, so that you can incrementally improve day by day.

You have an unspoken responsibility of becoming the best person you can be. No one has to tell you this, you just know. Laziness can kick in at any time, followed by complacency.

To become better and more productive, you must make a commitment. How do you start? What does it mean to be committed?

Identify Your Commitment

When you commit to something, you make a conscious effort to do it consistently. No matter what you decide to do, a commitment has to be made first.

Do you want to lose weight? Start by committing to drinking a glass of water and an evening walk everyday. Are you ready to take control of your finances? Commit to saving ten dollars a week. Want to study history? Do the research and find the right books to read and documentaries to watch.

Identify what you want to do and go for it. Most times, we think about what we want to do, but we never get around to actually doing it – that’s because a commitment was never made.

Establish what it is that you want to achieve, commit and take the first step.

How To Make Your Commitment Stick

It may be difficult for you to commit to a personal goal – it happens to everyone. Comfort sneaks in and takes over any challenge you had in mind. How can you make a commitment stick?

One strategy you can use is writing it down. Creating a list of things to do will hold you accountable for taking action. Instead of relying on your memory to do something, write it down. Writing it down makes it official. You won’t get away with conveniently forgetting about it and it allows you to ‘see’ what needs to be done, so you can plan accordingly.

If writing it down isn’t your thing, find a responsible person to hold you accountable. This should be someone you trust. If you don’t perform your committed task, the consequences should be something uncomfortable, like paying them one hundred dollars. You wouldn’t want to give up that kind of money, therefore, you’ll do your best to follow through. Check in at a certain time with this person everyday to be sure you are staying committed to your goal.

Be Relentless

Making a commitment doesn’t work unless you’re consistent with your actions. You have to be ready to see past the distractions and adapt to change. If not, the whole idea of being committed to your idea simply won’t happen.

If you make a commitment and it doesn’t work out, that’s fine. It’s not the end of the world. You always have the choice to do it again. Has success ever come easily on the very first attempt?

Your will encounter adversity of some sort. You will have to shift in order to keep going. Be relentless with your commitment. If you’re serious about reaching your goal, you’ll do what’s necessary to get there.

Your ambition and determination should drive your commitment. You must be convinced that no matter what happens, you won’t give in to negative ideas and people. When it does happen, you must make the adjustment and adapt to the new plan.

Are You Ready?

Making a commitment says a lot about you. It says that you’re focused and decisive about what you want to do. Too many people drift into a life of nothingness, by giving away their advantage. The power is within you, but you have to be intentional and use it proactively.

Like anything else, it takes time and effort to be committed to your plan. Don’t be the one who stops at every obstacle you come across. Trust yourself to build the future of your dreams. You don’t have to start big – don’t let someone else’s accomplishments deter you from beginning your journey. Everyone has to start somewhere.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Take baby steps. Make the commitment and take the responsibility to grow into your greatness.

#BeGoalden

Claim The Life That’s Meant For You

Claim The Life You Were Meant To Live, Without The Pleasing

Have you ever thought about what type of life you really want to live? Is it something that you mindfully work towards everyday?

Somewhere in life, you started paying more attention to what others thought about you, than what you thought about yourself. Something (or someone) told you that it’s important to please and impress others and you took it too far.

These people are pleasers and there are three types: the People Pleaser, the Parent Pleaser and the Pity Pleaser.

The People Pleaser

Some people are people pleasers – they’re unable to function in life, unless they know they are in someone’s good graces. They’ve basically built their life at the convenience of others.

If you ask a people pleaser what they want, they’ll ask someone else before they give an answer. Everything is based upon going with the popular opinion, so they won’t be the odd one out. If someone puts them on the spot, they’d rather die than to give their own honest opinion.

Now, it’s blown into an unconscious habit where they’re constantly looking for opportunities to be someone’s friend, or to be that ‘like-able’ person. It’s important to be presentable and decent towards other people, but don’t cross the line by making it your life’s mission.

The Parent Pleaser

We all start off as parent pleasers. As children, we want the approval of our parents, so we strive for that acceptance because we like the positive feedback. At this moment in time, we don’t know any better because we’re growing little humans and we haven’t experienced much of the outside world.

The unfortunate thing is, some of us never grow out of being a parent pleaser. We constantly look for the chance to impress them by following the path they set out for us. The last thing we want to do is disappoint mom and dad.

This isn’t totally on the child – some parents take advantage of their children by constantly telling them what they should do, what they should wear or where they should go. They leave no room for the child to think independently.

As a teen growing into an adult, you should be able to think for yourself. Mom wants you to be a lawyer, but you want to be an artist. If mom doesn’t get her way, she’ll be mad, so you don’t do it. This can go on for the rest of your life and before you know it, your life has passed you by.

The Pity Pleaser

A pity pleaser is the person who has always experienced anything worse than you. If you tell them about the time you were hit by a truck, they’ll tell you about the time they were hit by two trucks. They look for someone to outdo to make them appear more interesting.

Pity pleasers have the unique ability to make everything all about them. No one else can have a better (or worse) story than they have. Every time someone is going through a challenging time, they’ve always gone through something even more challenging.

There’s no beating the pity pleaser, as they take pride in being better at being the worst. No one has ever had it more rough than them. They feel like they deserve your sorrow and pity support.

Claim Your Life

All of these people have built their lives around what others think of them. For some reason or another, they never leveled up to being personally accountable for their own thoughts and actions.

Everyone has to take responsibility, but the majority of the responsibility lies with you. Pleasers allow their lives to be led by other people. In the end, they’ve realized that they didn’t live their own lives and wished they had.

Think about what you want. It may hurt someone else’s feelings, but you must go out and claim your life! Do what’s best for you, without worrying about who thinks what. No one can live it better than you!

It’s not disrespectful to disagree with other’s opinions, but you are disrespecting yourself by not living and thinking to your own full potential. Claim the life that’s meant for you – live through the rights and wrongs, the successes and the mistakes because it is your unique journey.

You’ll never achieve living the life that someone else wants you to live. Give up being a pleaser and experience the world through your own thoughts and actions.

#BeGoalden