Blog - Page 13 of 50 - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: It Won’t Work, If You Don’t Do It

As a child, we had wonderful ideas. We didn’t stop to think if it was stupid or awesome. All we did was take action and improve upon the finished project. There may have been a Debbie Downer in the bunch, but it didn’t stop us from bringing the idea to life. Being able to explore was our everyday adventure.

Somewhere down the line, someone told us, ‘that’s impossible,’ and we believed it. Our freedom of thought shifted to overthinking. We no longer rushed outside to see if we could do it. The idea of ‘it can’t be done’ killed our creativity. Our brilliant way of thinking just stopped.

How do we recapture our young mind? With work, bills, and stress, it’s kind of a challenge to reconnect with the freedom of thought we had when we were children. Now, our minds are tied up with why things aren’t going the way we want them to, among other things floating around in our heads.

Our freedom of thought hasn’t gone anywhere, it’s just been pushed to the back of our minds. It’s still there, waiting to be dusted off and put to good use.

We all have goals and dreams, but for some, that’s where it stops. Take some time to think it through and figure out how to make it happen. Once that’s done, all we need to do is put in the work.

“It takes too long,” or “I haven’t seen anything happen, yet.” That’s because your goal won’t work if you don’t do it. Don’t get confused – just because the goal is in your head, doesn’t mean it will come to life by your power of thinking. It’s going to take some work.

Just like when you were a child, go for it. Don’t allow anything to hold you back. Yes, we all have responsibilities to take care of and things we must get done, but there is some down time in your schedule somewhere. That down time is when you make it happen.

We can hope and wish for our dreams to come true, but it doesn’t happen that way. When we push ourselves towards our goals, opportunities will begin to appear. Don’t let an opportunity go by, because you were shocked that it actually came your way. Be ready to take it on – this is what you worked for! It’s yours, so take it!

Let’s not get stuck in the humdrum of life. Allow your thoughts to get you excited again, just like when you were a child. Make that fort, build that go cart, and entertain your sold out audience! Life is your adventure to create. No one wants to end their life, thinking how boring it was and how they should’ve done more. Remember, it won’t work if you don’t do it.

The Standards You Set For Yourself

Standards give us something to live up to. It’s a way to improve ourselves without the constant influence and competition of others.

People who lack standards usually remain stagnant. There’s nothing to convince them that they can become better than what they already are, because they’re comfortable.

What happens when you become stuck in a rut and you’re unable to hold yourself accountable for your own actions?

Why Have Standards?

Standards allow you to elevate in life. When there’s a certain desire you want to live up to, it motivates you to improve and become better.

Having standards and rules for yourself promotes growth in life. You know how you want to live, how much money you want to make, the type of family you want to have, etc. – these things are thoughts and ideas that you hold in your mind while you strive and make them come true.

You also set yourself apart from others who have no ambition or goals, and you become the type of person you aspire to be. It’s not easy to live up to your own personal standards – it takes resilience, discipline and focus (among other characteristics), but if you make a plan to get there, it’s definitely possible.

Your Potential

Becoming a more productive version of yourself everyday is a great foundational standard to live up to. As mentioned before, it inspires your ability to grow.

When you hang around people who don’t seem to care about what they do and who don’t have any goals, it’s easy to adopt the same attitude. As they say, birds of a feather, flock together.

This can damage your potential, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. By changing your environment and who you hang around, you can adjust your standards and goals to new and more productive levels.

Always put yourself in a place of advantage. Once you master a task or situation, move on to something else. See how much you can learn and how far you can go. Push your limits and discover your capacity. Never allow anyone to bring you down to their level.

Holding Yourself Accountable

Part of living up to your personal standards is holding yourself accountable. You are your own responsibility – the only person that can save you, is you.

How many times have things gone wrong in life, whether you planned for it or not? Did you sit there and accept the outcome or did you take the time to reassess and create another solution?

This is where most people become stuck – things don’t always go as planned, but it’s your job to get up, figure it out and make one more attempt. You must hold yourself accountable in order to move forward.

Most people like to have “accountability partners” or someone to help them along their journey. That’s fine, but ultimately, the responsibility is yours. Your accountability partner may tell you it’s okay to eat a slice of cake or to buy one more lottery ticket. Sometimes, they can be your worst enemy, as opposed to helping you become better.

What Standards Do You Have?

If you have plans on becoming a better person, then you have standards. Anything you want to do to improve your place in life is a standard you have created for yourself.

Understand that you are your only competition – you should strive to be better than the person you were yesterday. It may be a challenging task, but that’s how self-improvement works.

Create your standards and work on them daily. Develop your daily habits to match the person you want to become. It may seem like a difficult task, but all you have to do is take one step at a time and you’ll become the successful person you’ve always imagined.

#TBT: Your Competition Isn’t Who You Think It Is

Competition can make you or break you. Either you’re competing directly with someone, or you’re competing with the idea of someone.

Whomever you are competing against, it’s great. It keeps you on your toes and it holds you accountable for your actions. Even if it doesn’t turn out the way you expected, you’ve done more than you ever thought you could do in the first place.

Having competition can offer awesome benefits. Most people that are competitive, tend to learn and bounce back quicker than the average person.

Have you ever thought about who your biggest competitor is? It’s someone you know very well – you see them on a daily basis and you probably don’t acknowledge them like you should.

You are your biggest competitor.

The Competition With Your Mind

Every morning, you wake up and instantly decide if you are going to roll over and get an extra 5 minutes of sleep, or get out of bed and move on with your day. That’s you competing against your mind.

The choices you make on a daily basis are a constant battle. Your ego, distractions or your negative behavior – if you don’t have the right mindset to handle it, you simply lose.

We don’t look at our choices that way, but it’s the truth. Should you keep working, even when no one notices? Or, maybe you can get away with not doing any work for 1 more day. These may seem like insignificant actions, but they have a great impact on your life.

These small decisions add up and become major in the end. Sleeping in everyday and being lazy will eventually grant you a lazy life. Everyone else around you may be making progress, but that’s not your competition. Focus on yourself and do better at those small things.

The Competition With Your Health

At some point, we’ve all struggled with that second piece of cake or taking a day off from running. Ultimately, the decision is yours to make.

No one else can make you be healthy. Those everyday choices you make will show up on the scale or your waistline, sooner or later. That is another type of competition that you deal with regularly.

Again, we don’t think of these things as competing against ourselves. We keep comparing ourselves to pro athletes and their diets. They are not coming to save you – you must save yourself through good decisions and following up with consistent action.

Health is very important, so challenge yourself to eat healthy and exercise on a regular basis. You are competing against yourself and your fitness. Win that game first, before you test someone else.

The Competition With Your Money

The competition isn’t with Oprah or Bill Gates – it’s with you.

They already have their wealth. They’ve worked on this personal competition for many years and they’ve come out on top. You are not competing against them.

Save your money. Make investments. Play the long game and say no to instant gratification. Anyone can spend their paycheck in one weekend, but how much of it do they actually keep?

Make an attempt to do better with your money. Create wealth by setting financial goals and sticking to them. If you get off track, simply get back on, or start over. You are your competition.

Building Longevity

Competing with the person in the mirror should be your primary intention. This is how you form a great foundation for your future.

Building longevity starts with small, productive habits. How you do one thing is how you do everything. In the end, the only person that has control over the outcome is you, so make it happen.

Let’s not look at other people and mindlessly make them our competition. You may be able to beat someone else, but can you beat yourself?Challenging others is good, but the major competitor is you. Look in the mirror and take control of your intended, successful results.

#BeGoalden

Prepare For It Now, Before It’s Too Late

Knowing how to prepare for the unknown gives you an edge on life. When a situation happens, know what you’re going to do by having the resources and the confidence to get it done in order to move ahead.

Preparation is a life hack. Not only must you prepare for the right thing to happen, you must also prepare for the wrong (or worst) thing to happen.

Relationships

Everyone is looking for their soulmate. That one person that completes you and you’ll be happy with forever.

This sounds like the perfect scenario, but just in case it doesn’t go the way you want it to go, be prepared.

If you happen to get into an abusive relationship, what can you plan for now to benefit yourself without getting stuck? Often times, people stay because they never prepare to leave if things take a turn for the worst.

There’s no time to play victim. Create a personal plan (i.e., save money just in case you need to find another place to stay) and be ready. If you happen to really find the love of your life, congratulations! You can keep the money saved for something else.

Money

There’s one thing that everyone needs and that thing is money. No matter what you do in this life, money has to be exchanged. It sounds bad, but it’s the absolute truth.

Think ahead. If you lose your job (whether it’s your fault, or not), what other resources do you have to keep you going without losing the basic necessities? How do you even plan for something like this? Unless you have a rich uncle who doesn’t mind blowing his money, you’ll need to come up with (you got it) a plan.

You could do things like pay extra on bills or create another stream of income (keep in mind that all of this is done while you still have a job). It’s too late to do these things AFTER you lose your job, so start saving and investing your money now.

Don’t be afraid to pay extra on bills to stay ahead. It’s better to stay ahead, than to play catch up. Hard times isn’t something you want to experience suddenly, not if you can help it.

Health

Another thing that people tend to do something about too late is paying attention to their health. Some things are unable to be prevented, but there are some things you can keep a rein on.

If genetics play a role in your family, don’t simply wait for it to happen to you (especially if it’s health-related). Get a head start on it and begin doing something about it now.

Something as simple as eating a healthy diet and exercising can help put you on the right track. It doesn’t have to be a strict diet where you exercise seven days a week, but for the most part, it should contribute to your overall well-being.

Practice moving and making better eating choices. Do your research and find out what can be done to put you in a better, more healthy, position. Your body will thank you later on down the road.

Be Forward-Thinking

Everything doesn’t happen all at once and we aren’t able to prevent every little thing. It will take time and patience to build an emergency fund, change your eating habits or whatever plan you hope to create. By staying a few steps ahead, you still put yourself at an advantage.

Prepare by being proactive. Whether it’s an unexpected bill or a situation that occurs out of your control, be ready and know what your next step will be.

Alleviate stress and worry by figuring things out now, rather than later. Start building solutions for whatever may happen and watch how much more smoothly your life will begin to play out.

#TBT: Give Up The Grudge, Focus On Forgiveness

There’s nothing new under the sun. People have best friends, co-workers or even family members with whom they hold grudges against.

All of these hurtful feelings begin to flood your mind. Eventually, it begins to work it’s way into your body and comes out through anger, anxiety, stress and many other ways.

You feel like, “How could they do that? I thought we were friends? How could they NOT know that I would be hurt? What were they thinking? They should’ve known!”

The best way to let a grudge go is to forgive. Instead of allowing it to control your thoughts and hold you hostage, forgive them.

You may think, “That’s way too easy – I want them to feel the same hurt that they put upon me!” Well, you’ll be waiting a lifetime. Most of the time, the person you’re holding the grudge against, doesn’t even know it or they’ve moved on.

Forgiveness is for you, not for them.
The Goalden Lady

Make the decision to move on. You don’t have to include them in your life anymore. If any type of interaction is necessary, keep it to a minimum.

Why is forgiveness for you? This is what happens when you hold a grudge:

It creates more negative thoughts. You’re already in a bad place when you hold a grudge against someone. You begin to increasingly think about it and those aren’t good thoughts you’re having. You’re thinking of ways to get back at them or how you can get revenge. Before you know it, this is all you think about and it only breeds more negative thoughts in other areas of your life.
It takes away your power. You aren’t able to control what you’re thinking and you become unproductive. No matter how hard you try to work, those feelings keep pulling you back. That person has moved on – they don’t even know the effect that they’re having on your peace of mind. Don’t give away your power that easily! Even when you’re trying to go to sleep at night, you think of them and you tense up and become disgusted. Meanwhile, they’re sleeping like a baby.
It keeps you stagnant. You’re like a broken record that keeps skipping to the same beat, over and over. You can’t move or make good decisions in your daily life. You’re stuck. The grudge you’re holding keeps repeating itself over and over again. None of this will change until you decide to let it go.

That’s why forgiveness is for you. None of these things happen to the person you’re holding a grudge against. Even if you confront them about it, more than likely, they’ll think it was silly. And then, they move on.

Forgiveness gives you the relief you’re looking for. It gives you freedom. It allows you to breathe. It gives you your life back.

Be the bigger person. Learn to forgive. Some people have been holding grudges for years, but it’s not needed. How much of your life have you wasted, thinking about something that has been forgotten by others? Take back your power over your life and yourself. We all have disappointments from our friends and family, but it’s up to us to move on from it and continue to be our best selves. It’s hard to be your best self while holding a grudge.

Forgive. Let it go. Move on.

#BeGoalden

Move Forward And Get Out Of Your Own Way

Have you ever heard of someone say, “Get out of your own way?” As backwards as it may sound, there is some truth to that saying.

Instead of deciding to move forward, we blame others for things that happen to us. We find comfort in complaining and pointing the finger. This makes things okay at the moment, but it does nothing for you in the long run.

Deal With It

There are situations that happen and we tend to hold on to them, as if it was our fault. Things like being laid off from a job or the loss of someone close to you can have a negative affect on you.

We all deal with different things in different ways, but sometimes, we allow it to keep us stuck. Missed the game-winning shot? Don’t carry that guilt with you forever. It happened – the only thing you can do is move forward and practice even harder.

Instead of moving forward and practicing harder, we often keep that hurtful replay in our minds as we continue to grow older. Now, it makes us afraid to take chances in situations where others are depending on us. Most of the time, no one else is willing to step up and take that chance because of the possible consequences of missing.

But what if you make it? What if you succeed at making the game-winning shot? Then, everyone loves you and sings your praises. They will tell others how they knew you could do it – what an awesome moment to remember!

If you miss, some people will be mad and come up with excuses as to why they knew you should have passed the ball.

Your Mind Will Hold You Back

As you keep the negative impacting thoughts and memories in your head, your confidence decreases and your attitude begins to suck. Just because it didn’t work the first time, doesn’t mean you can’t make it work the next time.

This is the part where you need to get out of your own way. No one is holding you back – it’s your mind and what you choose to think that’s holding you back.

Think on another level. Leave the negative voices and impeding thoughts behind. It may not seem like it, but you do have a choice and it is your right to move on and make progress.

Train your mind to accept challenges. Study how to follow through and become courageous again. Remember when you were a little kid and you believed you could do anything? You and your friends would spend all day building a rocket. There was nothing that stopped you, no matter how long it would take or how much material you lacked – you kept working on it until it became real!

As a kid, you weren’t in your own way. As a matter of fact, there was no such thing as limits. You would ALWAYS find a way to make it happen.

Move Forward And Find A Way

This is the same mindset you should have as an adult. Don’t allow others to identify what you can or can’t do. Many people get stuck in the opinion of others, but you don’t have to.

Practice shifting your mind from lack to abundance – from no to yes – from “I don’t think so” to “Yes, I can”.

Most importantly, put positive action to those positive ideas, build your confidence and step out of your own way.

#TBT: Be Grateful For The Little Things

Taking the time to be grateful for the simple things in our daily lives is something that we tend to overlook. Between work and distractions, it can be easy to forget.

By being mindful of the things you are grateful for, it lets you work from a place of sincerity. Instead of different things ticking you off, you allow it to pass, without it bothering you or disrupting your day.

5 Simple Things To Be Grateful For:

Breathing – It may seem simple, but someone didn’t get to wake up today, or they didn’t make it through the entire day. There are even people who have a hard time breathing on their own and depend on machines to assist them. Be thankful for the natural act of breathing.
Challenges – We normally call these ‘problems.’ Yes, you should be grateful for your challenges, as well. Challenges may be difficult, but they allow you to grow and give you confidence. If you can make it through a challenge, you can do anything.
Thoughts – Your thoughts give you the ability to be creative and think on your own. You can come to your own conclusions and set your own standards. Your thoughts are the blueprint to your life. As Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
Family and Friends – You may not like some of your family, or you may be at odd with some of your friends, but no matter what kind of relationship you have, they had a part in shaping you. You picked up some good habits and some bad habits – you learned what to do and what not to do. Observing them helped you to become who you are.
Freedom – Being free, you are able to do what you want to do. Unlike jail, you can wake up when you want to, go to work if you want to, or chase an opportunity whenever you feel like it. The choice is yours because you are free. There are some people in the world who are still being held captive against their will. Be grateful that you are free and have control over your own life.

Be Thankful For Life

We don’t know when our time is up, so make everyday count and be grateful for what you are able to do. Instead of putting things off for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes), be productive and do them today.

Wherever your life takes you, be thankful for the experience. Life has a way of making us feel like we’re the only ones when terrible things happen. There is someone who has been through your experience and you’re never the only one who is going through that situation.

Even when things aren’t going great, continue to fight. It’s hard, but be grateful that you are operating from a place of strength and will come out more powerful on the other side. The hard times are what make us who we are.

Always remember to be grateful in the good and the bad times. It all comes together to create the perfect you in the end.

#BeGoalden

Why Do We Think So Small?

The world is full of possibilities and attainable opportunities. The internet has made it easier for us to believe in our dreams coming true – or has it?

We think, “If only I had x, then I could do y.” Not too long ago, we could easily blame our circumstances for not completing a goal – we didn’t have access to resources that could help us win.

Now, we do have more information and access than we could’ve ever imagined. Yet, we still find little things to stop us from making progress. Why do we think so small?

Think

We live in a world where we are free to think and make a way for our ideas to come alive. At the same time, we allow the tiniest obstacles to stop us.

Before the internet, we didn’t have resources at our fingertips. If you wanted to do some research, you had to physically go to the library, or to a building that held the information you were looking for. Now, everything is online.

If it’s easier to obtain what we’re looking for, why is it that we’re still having trouble following through with our goals?

It Starts In The Mind

Whether you have resources at your immediate disposal or you have to get in a car and drive 30 minutes to retrieve information, it all starts in your mind.

It’s easy to say, “Oh, that’s too far – it’s raining – I don’t have enough gas to get there…”. Excuses are easy to come by. Persistence is what actually carries you to the point of completion.

No matter how difficult or easy something is to accomplish, your mind is the director of your actions. It may be simple to retrieve information nowadays, but the excuses are still there.

Some people will create new excuses, even if their situation was made easier for them to make progress. Making things harder than they really are is a trick being played from your mind. In some cases, the more access you have to make progress, the more excuses are made to impede your progress.

Thinking Small

Thinking small is easy. It doesn’t require any effort or extra pulling or pushing.

When you think big, you have to create a plan, overcome obstacles, have discipline and develop resilience. A lot of people don’t possess these qualities and that’s why they continue to think small.

Just because the internet made things easier, doesn’t mean the goal is any easier to achieve. You may not have to go to the library to do research, but following through is still an action you must take.

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”

No matter how much of an advantage we have with obtaining resources, it doesn’t matter until you take action. The only difference is, you save time with doing the research.

There are greater things we can do beyond what our minds can think. Don’t get stuck in the habit of thinking small – there are people out there who are making the impossible possible, all because they decided to follow through, challenges and all, and made it happen.

Never underestimate the power of thinking big. As Marianne Williamson wrote, “…your playing small does not serve the world…”. Don’t be your own worst enemy – think past your fear and get your ideas out to the world!

#TBT: Attitude Is Everything

Everyday, we have the chance to wake up and be our best. We don’t have to ask permission or be forced into an average mindset – we wake up as a blank slate. It’s the start of a new day and we get to choose how we go into it.

Exactly, what choice do we have? I can choose to start my day with good intentions. I can choose to start my day being sad. If something happened the night before that really angered me, I may choose to start the day mad because I remembered what happened the night before.

Once we choose how to start the day, it determines our attitude. To wake up being grateful is the perfect way to begin. Think of all the things you’re thankful for and you’ll immediately start the day with happiness.

On the other hand, if you had a bad day yesterday, try not to let it follow you into the next day. If you got a traffic ticket the day before, your attitude may not be the best. Don’t allow that attitude to carry over into the rest of the day or the following day.

A bad attitude has the ability to creep into your mind and live there. Every thought that comes into your head will be greeted with a negative vibe. You’ve already lost before you even begin to have a great personal thought.

Things happen. Your attitude is the measuring stick of your present feelings. If you’re having a great day, you have a great attitude. If you’re having a terrible day, you have a terrible attitude. Have an even, positive attitude no matter what happens. Sometimes we forget, but we do have that choice.

First, have awesome thoughts when you wake up in the morning. You will have a magnificent day – be positive about what may happen. Starting off with an angry attitude sets you up for a negative day. You may bring down a good mood in every room you walk into. Don’t be that person who sucks the energy out of a room because of a funky attitude.

Second, don’t allow a bad attitude to stick with you. Yes, it can be hard to get through the day after something has brought you down, but it doesn’t have to ruin your entire day. If someone passes away, it’s understandable that you’re sad – that’s something that will take a while to work through.

If someone is driving slow in front of you, it may be annoying, but you can adjust your attitude once the situation is over. Don’t carry it into work, lunch and into family time. It’s ridiculous because it is robbing you of an otherwise, potentially great day. Your family will see you being grumpy and it takes away from them (and it’s not even their fault!)

Also, having a terrible attitude may prevent an opportunity from coming your way. I’ve heard of many situations where someone was about to be offered an opportunity, but because of their attitude, it didn’t happen. You’ll never know when an opportunity may present itself, so always have a gracious and positive demeanor.

Another way is to know that each step you take, you’re about to walk into a different situation that deserves a fair shot. You wouldn’t want to see someone, say ‘hello’ and they just snarl at you for no particular reason. Even if you are about to do something you don’t like to do (for example, washing dishes), do it with a smile. It has to get done, so you may as well do it with a smile and make it as happy of a moment as you can.

Having a bad attitude doesn’t help anyone. If you can help it, why not have an awesome attitude whenever you can? It beats being down and giving off bad vibes. It is in your control to be the best you can be. If you don’t have to be a grump, don’t be a grump. Your day will be much better for making that impactful, small decision.

Self-Sabotage Is Holding You Back

Self-sabotage is when you set yourself up for failure. You become unconsciously satisfied with being your own enemy.

It seems backwards – don’t you want to be successful? Why would you run away from accomplishing your goals? Who doesn’t want to work towards a good life?

Your Level of Confidence

Being your own downfall begins with your self-esteem. Throughout life, you’ve become used to coming in last, being in the background or just being non-active.

Some people are born into environments that are anti-productive. This is a situation where you can respond one of two ways: you can become the opposite of your environment, or you can fall into it’s trap.

It’s difficult to go against the grain to become who you really want to be. When your surroundings don’t reflect a path to your vision, it becomes a challenge to fight against it. Even though gravity is pulling you down, you make an intentional effort to pull yourself up.

On the other hand, it’s easy to give in to what’s around you, good or bad. When you live in an unproductive environment, it starts to look normal. It weakens your self confidence and you accept the loser mindset. Your actions begin to mirror your poor self image and it causes self-sabotage.

Leave The Past In The Past

People make mistakes and bad decisions in life. Things can happen out of your control, but it’s your choice to either react or respond.

Another thing that causes self-sabotage is holding on to the past. Whatever happened may have been terrible, but you’re only hurting yourself when you constantly relive the memory and allow it to take up valuable space in your mind.

When you forgive, you’re not giving in to the person that hurt you, you’re allowing yourself to let go of the pain and move forward. Replaying the hurt as if it happened today is what holds you back. When you forgive someone, you free yourself – you take your life back and start to breathe again.

Holding on to the past contributes to self-sabotage. You’re prohibiting yourself from making progress because you’re stuck in that place. This leads to blaming others for your position in life, when really, all you have to do is let go and move on.

Forgiving is not as easy as it sounds, but it’s the only way to give yourself peace and reclaim your life.

Self-Sabotage Can Be Prevented

These are just a couple of ways that self-sabotage can destroy your progress. It can sneak in through various forms, but if you can recognize and prevent it from occurring, you’re one step ahead.

Instead of going with the flow with everyone else, think for yourself. Your choice may not be the most popular, but at least you know it’s how you want to operate.

Do the impossible. Always reach for goals that seem right outside of your grasp. Use your energy to stretch yourself to your potential. Don’t let anyone talk you out of your dreams – continue to increase your confidence (trust yourself), strengthen your mindset (listen to motivational speeches/podcasts and read inspirational books/blogs) and take productive action (learn from your mistakes and setbacks).

Don’t allow self-sabotage to take over your life. As you can see, some people live with it, yet, they don’t know why their lives are miserable or unlucky. When you decide to leave the past in the past, you can level up your surroundings, let go of what happened and create the future you dream of!