stress Archives - The Goalden Lady

When Worry Lives In Your Head

The things you worry about take up space in your mind. It’s like the bandwith on your device – it drains your time and energy and slows down other parts of your life.

We can get so caught up in our worrying that we forget to work towards a solution. Is worrying productive? Of course it’s not, but some of us make it a priority as if it’s necessary in order for us to live.

To Worry Or Not To Worry

Worrying is one of those things that can be picked up as a habit from your environment. If you grew up seeing someone being stressed out all of the time, there’s a great chance that you’ll follow the same pattern.

As a child, if you see your parent(s) worrying about bills, it seems like the ‘adult’ thing to do. At a young age, you never think that maybe your parent(s) could be irresponsible with money, which could be the cause of their own stress.

In situations like this, it can be helped. Sometimes, we don’t realize that we cause our own frustrations – we do it to ourselves. No one likes to blame themselves, but we have to take accountability before we can move forward.

If you budget your money in a way that takes care of the bills, you alleviate the weekly worry that you cause. Go to sleep earlier or wake up earlier, so you won’t be late. Exercise and eat a better diet if you don’t feel your best when you’re around others. Whatever puts you in a state of constant worry, do something that can prevent that feeling of uncertainty.

When you prepare in advance for things that you can control, it becomes possible to live in a more productive and happier space. There are things you can do to enhance your confidence and eliminate the doubt that you create.

What happens when things are out of your control and you can’t help but to worry?

Is There Ever A Reason To Worry?

“What about when someone ends up in the hospital or their house burns down?”

Yes, these life situations happen. Some things, we aren’t able to control, but we still have to adapt and adjust. To sit in worry and sadness does not benefit anyone.

Our first reaction is to start worrying, but it shouldn’t be the only reaction we have. In cases when life happens, it’s natural to worry. It’s unnatural to stay in that worry.

If someone is in the hospital, don’t add to their worries with yours. The best thing you can do is be positive and speak life into them. It doesn’t help them if you’re as uneasy and unstable as they are. See the possibilities with them.

When people worry, it can do more harm than good to those they’re worrying about. To be strong when others are in their weakest moments is definitely a difficult thing to do, but you can be the light that they need to see. If everyone else is depressed along with them, it takes away from the strength needed to fight their battle.

Words and actions are powerful.

Be Helpful, Not Hurtful

When it comes to things we can control, the best way to prevent worrying is to prepare. We may not be able to predict everything that’s going to happen, but some things can be helped.

It doesn’t make sense to be a worry-wart when you can actively participate in your own life and make things better. We’re all a work in progress, but you must be active and allow yourself the opportunity to improve.

Life happens to everyone and it can be a cause of worry. The best thing you can do is look on the bright side and work towards positive action. Deal with the situation at hand, but also, be brave enough to see the possibilities. Don’t let worrying make it worse.

Believe in yourself, don’t belittle yourself. Don’t let stress and anxiety live your life for you. The more confident and prepared you are, the less worrisome you’ll be.

Be a warrior, not a worrier.

#TBT: Give Up The Grudge, Focus On Forgiveness

There’s nothing new under the sun. People have best friends, co-workers or even family members with whom they hold grudges against.

All of these hurtful feelings begin to flood your mind. Eventually, it begins to work it’s way into your body and comes out through anger, anxiety, stress and many other ways.

You feel like, “How could they do that? I thought we were friends? How could they NOT know that I would be hurt? What were they thinking? They should’ve known!”

The best way to let a grudge go is to forgive. Instead of allowing it to control your thoughts and hold you hostage, forgive them.

You may think, “That’s way too easy – I want them to feel the same hurt that they put upon me!” Well, you’ll be waiting a lifetime. Most of the time, the person you’re holding the grudge against, doesn’t even know it or they’ve moved on.

Forgiveness is for you, not for them.
The Goalden Lady

Make the decision to move on. You don’t have to include them in your life anymore. If any type of interaction is necessary, keep it to a minimum.

Why is forgiveness for you? This is what happens when you hold a grudge:

It creates more negative thoughts. You’re already in a bad place when you hold a grudge against someone. You begin to increasingly think about it and those aren’t good thoughts you’re having. You’re thinking of ways to get back at them or how you can get revenge. Before you know it, this is all you think about and it only breeds more negative thoughts in other areas of your life.
It takes away your power. You aren’t able to control what you’re thinking and you become unproductive. No matter how hard you try to work, those feelings keep pulling you back. That person has moved on – they don’t even know the effect that they’re having on your peace of mind. Don’t give away your power that easily! Even when you’re trying to go to sleep at night, you think of them and you tense up and become disgusted. Meanwhile, they’re sleeping like a baby.
It keeps you stagnant. You’re like a broken record that keeps skipping to the same beat, over and over. You can’t move or make good decisions in your daily life. You’re stuck. The grudge you’re holding keeps repeating itself over and over again. None of this will change until you decide to let it go.

That’s why forgiveness is for you. None of these things happen to the person you’re holding a grudge against. Even if you confront them about it, more than likely, they’ll think it was silly. And then, they move on.

Forgiveness gives you the relief you’re looking for. It gives you freedom. It allows you to breathe. It gives you your life back.

Be the bigger person. Learn to forgive. Some people have been holding grudges for years, but it’s not needed. How much of your life have you wasted, thinking about something that has been forgotten by others? Take back your power over your life and yourself. We all have disappointments from our friends and family, but it’s up to us to move on from it and continue to be our best selves. It’s hard to be your best self while holding a grudge.

Forgive. Let it go. Move on.

#BeGoalden

Dealing With Stress Through Making Progress

Everyone goes through the stress of challenging times. It can take a toll on your mental and physical health. Stress and anxiety can cloud your outlook towards the sound solution you’re looking for.

People will tell you not to worry and to stay hopeful. This may be a good start, but don’t lean on it too much. There’s one thing they won’t encourage you to do.

The Victim Vortex

The unthinkable happens and you instantly begin to stress and go into, “I don’t know what to do,” mode. Without thinking, you begin to panic and everything seems to go downhill.

As you spiral out of control emotionally, you wish there was something that could save you from going deeper and deeper. The only thing that can save you is sleep, or some sort of vice.

This is the path to having a victim mentality. When you think like a victim, you feel like there’s no way out and all you can do is hope that someone will step in and save the day. At some point, you even feel like you deserve to be saved, yet, no one is paying attention.

Having a stress moment happens to everyone at one time or another. Some of us know how to handle it and move on – some of us allow it to carry us into an almost inescapable vortex, where we believe that everyone else owes us.

There’s Still Work To Be Done

As you look to family and friends for support, you’ll get everyone’s sympathy. No one wants to kick you while you’re down and that’s very considerate of them. At the same time, a plan needs to be created for your comeback.

Most people stay in the victim vortex, because it’s safe, even though they aren’t making progress. That type of negative energy is nearly impossible to escape.

On the other hand, it’s nice when everyone is on your side and so understanding. Everyone realizes that it wasn’t your fault and it’s horrible that this even happened to you.

What they don’t tell you is there’s still work to be done. Sitting and waiting for something to change in your favor is not going to cut it. You must get up and be productive. Climb your way out and create a plan, so you’re not caught off guard when it happens again. Something needs to push the train and that something is your effort.

At the time, you may not know what to do, but do something. You don’t know if you’ll run into someone with good information or if you’ll stumble across something on the internet. Attempt new things or go volunteer. You’ll never know where you’ll find your solution if you continue to sit still.

Overall, there’s things you can do, directly or indirectly, to help move the needle. Depending on others to do it for you will only dig you into a deeper hole. Find some courage, make some moves and save yourself!

Less Stress Makes More Progress

If you’re fortunate, you may have that one person who is forward-thinking and wants to push you to be more active towards your situation. That’s the person you need on your team, because they know you can do better and won’t offer pity. It’s difficult to find people who will give you that raw support you really need. Sympathy is nice, but it won’t provide the answer.

Instead of relying on someone else to improve your situation, work on improving it yourself. Having such a positive mindset during a challenging time is hard, but you can get through it.

Give yourself time to feel bad. Get your feelings out and then, get them under control. It may take a day or it may take a week, but give yourself a time frame where you’ll stop the pity party and start being productive.

Time doesn’t wait. One day you’ll look up and it’ll be next year – don’t be in the same place, still feeling sorry for yourself. Your emotions may draw you back every now and then, but have the confidence to pull yourself back into being active.

Most people don’t want to hear about progress when they’re stressed, but you don’t have to be those people. Success favors the bold and if you want to have a fulfilling life, do the things that will get you there. It’s your choice – do you want to stay comfortable, or grow into your greatness?

#BeGoalden

Why Worrying Won’t Work

When unpleasant challenges arise, the first thing most people do is worry. It’s a reaction that lives on autopilot in your mind, ready to go when needed. Not only does worrying affect you on the inside, it affects how you perceive things on the outside. Let’s see why worrying won’t work.

Don’t be a Worry Wart. What is a Worry Wart? As soon as something out of the basic routine happens, you begin to stress about it.

“What’s going to happen?”
“Why did it happen?”
“Who did this to me?”
“What am I going to do?”

All types of questions, along with several negative emotions, start to run rampant in your mind.

This raises your stress levels. You begin to attempt to answer those questions in your mind. Nothing is working out in your favor. Is there a number to call? Is there someone you can speak to about the situation?

You want answers because you simply don’t know why this is happening to you. Therefore, you just continue to worry because you don’t know what else to do.

Sometimes, it’s simply something that you, the Worry Wart, did to yourself that caused the issue. After that, you can’t be mad and stressed about it anymore. Take responsibility and deal with the consequences.

On the other hand, it may have been a mistake that needs to be corrected. You follow instructions on how to fix the flaw and it’s done. No more worrying because you resolved it.

In both cases, your mind went into a frenzy because you didn’t know what was going on. There’s a way to save yourself from the stress of worrying, but it takes practice.

When you receive bad news or something happens out of your control, talk to someone or simply do the research. Spazzing out doesn’t help and most of all, it won’t solve your issue.

When you get emotional about things you can’t control, it affects your surroundings, as well. You may take it out on the kids, friends, and you’re unpleasant to be around. You’re just an all around grump until you figure out what’s going on.

That’s the thing – figure out what’s going on. That’s what needs to happen. You’re only making it worse for yourself and those around you.

Learn to respond, instead of react.

When you let your emotions get the best of you, it normally doesn’t end well. Not only does being emotional make it worse, you’re also not solving anything. Nothing gets done.

It’s normal to have an initial emotional reaction. Don’t let it overtake you into worry world. Start thinking about what you can do to help the situation or to solve the issue. Do what you can. If you can’t control it at the moment, leave it alone until you’re able to figure it out.

When you respond, you come out with better results. It works out for you and those around you. Sometimes, you’re unable to do anything about certain situations until a period of time has passed. There’s no need to put yourself and others through hell because in the end, you could be worrying about nothing.

Worrying won’t help. It only takes up your precious time and for some, can even lead to health problems. Do what you can and be calm enough so you can resolve the issue. Decide to respond around your emotions and not in your emotions. If you do this, you’ll have a better handle on taking care of what needs to be done.