Some of us expect more from others than we do from ourselves. We want other people to be loyal to us, responsible for their actions and reliable when needed.
Some people’s actions can be disappointing, especially if you expected more from them. They look out for themselves and will sacrifice a friendship when convenient.
Who Are You Loyal To?
The word ‘loyalty’ has been used a lot lately. When you are loyal to someone, you make a commitment to be trustworthy and to stand by that person, no matter what happens.
To some people, loyalty is like doing favors. If you help me now, I’ll help you later. If you don’t, then basically, our friendship is over. That’s not loyalty, that’s blackmail.
Being loyal is great, but be careful who you’re loyal to. Some people only want to be loyal when there’s something in it for them.
Loyalty should be unconditional, not based on how much you’ve done for someone. It’s not an equation where everything has to be equal on both sides. The expectation of being loyal is a trap that destroys many relationships.
The best person you can be loyal to is yourself.
Being Responsible Is A Reasonable Expectation, Right?
What you define as responsible and what someone else defines as responsible, can be two different things.
My mother would tell us, “If you loan someone money, never expect it back.” Why? Because when your friend has a sudden loss of memory about paying you back, you become angry.
The responsible thing to do would be to pay back the money, but some people think that if you’re a friend, you should understand. You’re left with the guilt of having to ask for your money back, or at least hoping they’ll give it back without you having to ask. It could break up any friendship.
If you never expect it back, there won’t be any potential issues. Also, it will save you tons of emotional stress and resentment.
Being Reliable
Being reliable is an excellent trait to find in anyone. What happens when you run into someone who isn’t as dependable as you think they should be?
When you’re a dependable person, it’s only natural that you think everyone else should be just as reliable as you are. Sometimes, that’s just not the case.
There will be some people who will use you to their advantage, without giving it a second thought. Once someone shows you who they truly are, believe it! Accept their actions for what it is and move on.
No one is like you. Of course, if you ask someone to do something, they should have the common courtesy to be dependable enough to follow through, but again, some people are selfish and only think of themselves.
What You Think They Should Be
Do you notice a pattern? The pattern is: You think everyone should be…
Everyone is not who you think they should be. We all have different experiences in life, therefore, we handle things differently.
You can think all day about how others should be a certain way, but the reality is, they’re not. It comes to a point where you’re only disappointing yourself.
Therefore, you should set expectations and standards for yourself and follow through. Even if you disappoint yourself, you know what you’re capable of and you’re honest about it. It’s hard to lie to yourself.
Do yourself a favor and don’t put expectations on other people. You’ll only end up being angry and holding grudges while they go on with their lives. Instead of expecting a certain behavior from others, put those standards on yourself. By doing this, you’ll become the shining example for others to look up to.