June 2019 - The Goalden Lady

Focus On The Lesson, Not The Pain

The only way you can think clearly and create a solution for an obstacle, is to focus on the lesson. Everything else is a distraction.

Have you ever stumbled upon a challenge and you get so caught up in why it happened, that you conveniently get stuck? Of course, you could just think of a possible solution, but it’s easier to complain about it.

The Pain

When something unexpected happens, the first thing we do is have a negative emotional reaction to it. Most of the time, we become angry and we drag it on for hours, and sometimes, days.

The obstacle you are encountering may halt progress, but having an emotional reaction halts progress even more. After a while, you begin to justify your reaction with excuses and complaining.

This leads to becoming stagnant. Days will turn into weeks, weeks will turn into months and months will turn into years. Then you’ll live with the ultimate pain – the pain of regret.

That entire process can be eliminated, if you remember one thing: focus on the lesson and find a solution.

The Lesson

No matter how bad something is, we can always find the lesson in what happened. We think that when something is in our way, or not on our side, that it’s automatically bad.

Nothing is working against you – you only perceive it that way because it didn’t go the way you planned. Obstacles are just a sign, telling you to go in another direction.

Don’t take it personal – take it as a lesson. Find the reason something happened, create a solution, and give yourself permission to move forward. Allowing your emotions to get in the way of progress will only encourage complacency and you definitely don’t want that to happen.

Your Vision

There will be obstacles and challenges from time to time, but how you respond to them will determine your level of success. It’s your responsibility to see your idea into reality.

You know the kind of results you want. To react to the little things that get in the way, is to give in to self-defeat. No one is stopping you – you’re only stopping yourself.

Instead of using your energy to behave in a negative manner, use it to improve your strategy. Anything else outside of your plan, is only a distraction.

Remain in control of your emotions, focus on the lesson and follow through with a solution. Rinse and repeat, as often as needed.

#BeGoalden

Change Is Uncomfortable, And That’s Good

Change makes us uncomfortable, but it’s nothing to be afraid of. Your ability to overcome a sudden challenge is greater than you think.

Building rituals and routines into your life is necessary. After all, it helps with productivity and time management efforts and it makes us feel comfortable when we know what to expect.

What happens when we encounter change? Instead of going right, your idea goes left? Do you overreact to what’s going on or do you keep a level head and flow with it?

Change Is Uncomfortable…

Things happen – it’s a part of life. Every now and then, something knocks us off balance and we don’t like it.

For the most part, we have to address the situation. We really don’t want to, especially when we’re in a good place. No one likes to stop and figure out what’s wrong, when everything has been going right.

Change can make you feel uncomfortable, stressed out, fearful, awkward, and sometimes, embarrassed. When you don’t have an immediate solution, it can be scary.

…And That’s Good

Rather than having negative thoughts and emotions towards change, embrace it. You’re about to learn something that you wouldn’t have, otherwise.

This is an opportunity for you to gain more knowledge about what works and what doesn’t work. It’s your chance to figure things out and enhance your thinking skills.

Don’t run from it. Take advantage of what’s about to happen. No matter what the situation is, there’s always something to gain from it.

Open your mind and shift your perspective. Your brain has a way of introducing new ideas and unique thoughts into your life. You may not like it, but remember: it’s not a problem, it’s a challenge and that’s what makes you mentally stronger.

Be Flexible

Be water, my friend.
Bruce Lee

Change is inescapable. You can not avoid it or make it go away. When you begin to accept it, as opposed to resisting it, you take on the responsibility of stepping up to the plate and allowing yourself to grow.

Be flexible. Your journey won’t be a straight line. If you want to be an achiever, you have to learn to bend with flow. Most people will give up at this point, all because it’s not going the way they envisioned it.

When you take on those obstacles, there’s always a lesson to learn. Don’t quit because it becomes difficult- this is where growth happens. You are more than capable of handling any kind of change that comes your way. Don’t sell yourself short.

Grow Through It

So, how do you handle change? You face it head on. Take a moment to have your emotions, but you must remember that it still needs to be taken care of.

Change is not easy, but remember that you will come out on the other side successfully. You may be a little bruised, but you’re fine – you conquered it and you’re okay.

The next time it happens, it won’t be a surprise. You’ll be that much more skilled in how to manage it. Don’t just go through it, grow through it. You’ll begin to appreciate change, because you’ll find that it builds you into an incredible person.

#BeGoalden

3 Ways To Activate Your Life’s Vision

Living without effort can lead down a negative path. Then, when you see other people who are succeeding and living their best life, you think they got lucky.

Let’s be clear – one, you can put yourself in the way of catching good luck, if you want to. Two, there are a few things you can do to activate your life’s vision.

How To Activate Your Life’s Vision

Believe. This can be hard, because some of us don’t know how to believe. How do you build self-belief? You must keep promises to yourself. If you’re unable to keep a promise to yourself, who else is going to trust you? Start small and build from there. If you want to be healthy, start with one glass of water and keep that commitment. Continue to hold yourself accountable and not only will it help you become more healthy, it will increase your confidence and your self-belief. It doesn’t seem impossible anymore because you’re making progress and it’s real – you did it. Keep those promises and practice believing everyday.
Write it down. There’s a reason why writing things down is a popular option – because it works. There are so many distractions pulling our attention in different directions, it’s easy to forget what’s important. Write down what you want and put it where you can see it. It will serve as a reminder and pull you back to focus on what you need to do in order to reach your goal. When you take the time to write it down, it forces you to concentrate and think a little more, as opposed to letting it get caught up in a whirlwind of fleeting thoughts. Your chances of remembering and working on it are better, if you write it down.
Go to it. Get in the habit of going to it. If you want to be a writer, find a writer’s meetup to join. If you want to be a race car driver, go to a racetrack. Go to the environment that’s in your vision. This helps to make it real and puts you at an advantage for more opportunities. If you sit there and just think about it without putting in any effort, it’s a lot harder to believe that it can happen. Be in the midst of what you want – see it, feel it, smell it, hear it, taste it. Get in the same space as your goal and turn your potential into possibility.

Challenges And Obstacles

This will take discipline and focus. You can tell your mind what you want, but until you put yourself in that actual place, nothing will spark.

Whatever it is you’re attempting to do, there will be challenges and sudden obstacles that will happen. It’s up to you to see them for what they are and work through them – don’t allow it to defeat you.

People will tell you how it won’t work and how it’s a waste of time. This is to be expected. You already know who the non-believers are, so be careful – you don’t need anyone who’s constantly fighting against your vision.

Live Your Vision

Once you develop a strong belief, write it down and go to it, you’ll be that much closer to making your vision a reality. Make the necessary adjustments and follow through on a daily basis.

This won’t work, unless you work it. Be proactive about your life’s vision. The framework will get you started, but if you want to see results, you must take the time to see it through and live it, everyday.

Remember, this isn’t homework, it’s lifework. Let’s get started.

#BeGoalden

The Process Of Success Is Not As Hard As You Think

The process of success has nothing to do with a ‘secret’ or a ‘hack’. We make it seem as if there is a button we can push and the next day, we’re successful. It doesn’t happen that easily, but it’s not as hard as you think.

Social media will have you thinking that all of our achievements are just one magic step away. You are always one step away, but only if you keep going. If you quit, you’ll only be left with an empty feeling of regret.

Give Yourself Permission, Not Excuses

Most of us have a reason to stop ourselves before we start.

“The time isn’t right.”

“I need more information.”

“I’m waiting to see if Beth is going.”

“Doug tried to do it and he lost lots of money and failed.”

We are so creative when it comes to making excuses. Excuses only give you permission NOT to start. What you need to do is give yourself permission to start.

What are you waiting on? Why are you so scared? If it won’t kill you, it’s your responsibility to move forward and make the attempt. You don’t have to wait on anyone or anything. Give yourself permission to reach your goals.

Make The Commitment

After you decide to give yourself permission, make the commitment that you will stick with it, no matter what happens.

Intentions are good, but commitment is better.

Distractions are the enemy of commitment. Although the internet is a great resource, we often use it for other things and it becomes a huge distraction.

It’s easy to become sidetracked by anything if you don’t have a solid commitment towards your work. For example, your environment can be a distraction. People want you to take a ride with them to the store or something on TV catches your eye. Before you know it, the day is gone, along with your productivity.

When you make a commitment to yourself, not only are you building your confidence, you are also building your belief. You can’t build your personal foundation by letting distractions throw you off balance.

Be aware of where your time goes. There will always be other things you’d like to do, but commit to your plan first.

Take Action!

Again, what are you waiting for? You have enough information to begin, so start taking action!

This is where most people become paralyzed and afraid. There’s always something that will conveniently stop you from starting.

In order to be successful, you have to fail – it’s part of the process. There’s no way around it, but through it.

Get in the habit of starting. No matter what it takes, do something to get the ball rolling. By taking action, you are putting your plan into motion and allowing yourself to play on another level.

Success Awaits

It’s not as hard as you think. When you give yourself permission, make a commitment and take action, anything is possible. It all begins in your mind.

By establishing these habits, you develop yourself into a more disciplined, focused and confident person. If you stay on your path and create your own luck, you’ll open your future up to more opportunities than you can imagine. Success awaits!

#BeGoalden

5 Bad Habits To Unlearn To Achieve The Impossible Goal

5 Bad Habits To Unlearn To Achieve Any Impossible Goal

Achieving the impossible goal seems time consuming. In today’s world, it’s easy to be complacent. Instant gratification is at an all-time high and just about everything around us can be done in a microwave minute.

Moving forward seems so easy, yet, it’s so hard to do. In our minds, we make all kinds of plans and goals, but in reality, we stop ourselves before we even start.

Somewhere in between, we need to make a connection with mentally thinking it, to physically doing it.

5 Bad Habits To Unlearn

Thinking about your past. The only reason you should reflect on the past, is to see how far you’ve come. We make the mistake of thinking so much about what happened, we start to live there. That’s where you get stuck. There’s a reason it’s called the past – what’s done is done and you can’t go back and change it. Have the courage to define your future and step into the unknown. That’s where growth happens.
Failing. We’ve all experienced failure at some point in our lives. Let’s shift the perception – ‘failure’ is just another word for ‘learning’. You don’t fail, you learn. Just because you failed at something doesn’t mean it’s not for you and you should quit. When you look back and see the mistake and how you could have done better, implement it and do it again. Not only will you improve upon what you’re doing, but you’ll make progress towards your impossible goal.
Procrastination. We put things off until tomorrow, Monday, or next year. Your diet doesn’t always have to start on Monday, you can just as easily start it on Thursday, or whatever day you think about it. Stop putting things off. Get uncomfortable and make a move. If you don’t do it now, when will you do it? ‘Eventually’ never comes. Do it now.
Accepting judgment from others. People will make fun of you and throw witty insults at you all day long. It’s nothing new. They are insecure about themselves, so know that it’s not you, it’s them. They want to put their fears on you, without pointing the finger at themselves. Don’t let it get you down. You are growing and they’re not. That’s scary to them, because it shows that you’re making progress and they’re staying the same. Never take those judgments personal. Keep it moving.
Making excuses. This is a major one. Not only do we use excuses on others, we use them on ourselves! “I can’t exercise today because I have a doctor’s appointment. If I exercise in the morning, that means I’ll have to wash my hair and by the time I get back home, it’ll be too hot and I’ll have to take another shower and…” Just stop it. You’re either going to do it or not – there’s no story long enough that’s going to validate your excuse.

When To Start Your Impossible Goal

There’s never a good time to start anything. This is procrastination at it’s finest. We all talk about ‘perfect timing’, but it doesn’t exist.

The time to start is always now. If you don’t start, how do you expect to get it done? Your results don’t appear out of the sky – you must take action if you want to see your success.

It’s okay if you have to do it alone. If you wait on your friends, you’ll be waiting forever and most of all, wasting time. Don’t be afraid to step out and start on your own.

You’ll Never Be Ready

“I’ll start when I’m ready.” This is another way we prevent ourselves from moving forward. You’re never 100% ready. Start when you’re 30% ready or just 10% ready.

Being fully ready never happens. Know that if you just start, you’ll learn the rest as you go along. This is where learning and improvement take place, but you must have the confidence to begin.

Go out and just do it! Be uncomfortable with the wrong time and not being fully prepared – that’s the journey! You’ll be so much better on the other side than if you were to be lazy and stagnant. Take a chance, make that first step and achieve the impossible!

#BeGoalden

We Play Victim In Our Own Lives

Can you see past the distractions and judgment that happened today? Is it easy to let things go and move on with your life? Or, do you play victim?

Playing victim is a characteristic we’ve all possessed at one time or another. If you want to know what’s holding you back in life, playing victim is likely the reason.

Self-Pity

When things don’t go our way, we tend to look for an excuse that accommodates that feeling of rejection or fear. There needs to be a reason why it didn’t work out or some sort of justification as to why we weren’t successful.

Feeling sorry for yourself is an easy out. No one stops you from feeling sorry for yourself and it’s comfortable, because you don’t have to push yourself back out there to try again. If you’re not careful, this becomes a horrible habit.

Having pity parties does not help you advance. It discourages you from getting up and going after what you want. It’s fine to feel awkward, confused, or embarrassed – it’s all a part of the process. The trick is knowing when to get up and go after it, again.

Embrace The Suck

It’s important to know that things aren’t always going to go your way every time. The earlier you realize this, the better you can move on and accomplish your goals.

Embrace what sucks along the way – it comes with the territory. If you don’t encounter any obstacles, you’re on the wrong path because there’s nothing there for you to achieve. Rewards and success don’t come easy.

Know that things will go wrong and people will constantly judge you. It will always be there – your job is to recognize it and deal with it by applying yourself even more. Don’t let it phase you, let it fuel you.

Be A Victim Of Success

Get in your head that nothing will stop you, simply because you already know it’s coming. You may not know how it will show up (more money, illness, defeat, etc.), but you will have the confidence to handle it.

Instead of seeing the bad side of it, see the bright side. Just as things can go wrong, they can also go right. When life crushes you, don’t play the victim and lay down, rise up and give yourself another chance!

It’s your choice to decide if you will crumble and die or if you will make progress and fly. If you’re going to be a victim of anything, be a victim of success.

Do It Because It’s Hard

Living in fear is easy, but taking control of your circumstances puts you in a different position. Do the opposite and see how you can make things work out – be optimistic, think it through, and bet on yourself.

Never give in to life’s obstacles and challenges. This is how you prove what you’re made of. John F. Kennedy said, “We don’t do things because they are easy, we do them because they are hard.”

Don’t simplify your efforts. You’re doing yourself a disservice when you take the easy way out and become complacent. Yes, it’s hard to get back up, but realize that the opportunity is still there. It’s on you to fight back and win, one step at a time.

#BeGoalden

How To See The Advantage, In The Disadvantage

Most people quit when they don’t have a winning advantage. Working towards your goals can take up a tremendous amount of time. It’s frustrating to see others who have an advantage, move forward at a faster rate than you. If only the odds were in your favor…

The odds are in your favor. This is a long term game you’re playing and you want to have the foundation and the staying power to continue making progress.

When you’re at a disadvantage, it works in your favor in the long run. You will learn strategies and skills that others will never know of, because they are working with the advantage.

Think Outside The Box

The direct way is not always the correct way. Sure, it may be faster and more efficient, but will it always work?

Everyone takes the shortest route. When everyone goes in the same direction, it gets crowded and things slow down. Is there any other route you can take?

There are some side streets you can take to get to your destination. Although it may take a little more time, it flows better and it’s not as congested as the direct path.

Think outside the box. Go against the grain. There’s always another way to get to where you’re going.

Be More Strategic

Having the advantage doesn’t call for a lot of thinking. You’re used to things going your way, therefore, strategy and planning never really occur to you, naturally.

As in war, you need to outsmart the enemy. We all know how to attack, but where do you attack (from the front or the back)? When do you attack (in the daytime or on Christmas)? How do you attack (loudly or quietly)?

These are strategies to consider, so you can turn the odds in your favor. You are working against your competition’s expectations. Take what they know and use it against them.

See From A Different View

Finding an advantage may be difficult at first, but the more you do it, the quicker you are able to act. Learn to see from a different view.

Close your eyes and imagine what it takes to get to your goal. Go into your competitor’s mind and think what they’re thinking.

Seeing things from a different view will put you at an advantage. Of course, we don’t know exactly what someone else is thinking, but how would you plan to win if you were in their position?

They may have the advantage, but the possibility of losing or falling behind is still there. Interrupt their ‘winning’ pattern that they use all of the time and use it to your benefit.

You Always Have The Edge

Whether reaching for your goals, or outwitting the competition, give yourself the advantage. Leverage their know-how and play it against them.

In essence, there’s more of an advantage in having the disadvantage. There are limitless ways you can win – all you need to do is think and respond on another level.

Being at a disadvantage may slow things down or be more tedious, but you will gain more knowledge and skills along the way to help you win. You may not win all of the battles, but you will certainly win the war.

#BeGoalden

How To Persist, Without Giving Up

We think that successful people are smarter than we are. They had this genius idea, threw it out into the world and it was accepted immediately.

That’s where we’re wrong. Those that have achieved, what we call ‘the impossible,’ aren’t different from us. They are regular people who chose to be persistent.

Anybody can be successful. The only thing that holds us back is our lack of persistence and giving up.

3 Tips To Stay Persistent

Excuses are for the weak. Being persistent takes courage. There are a million reasons you can give that will keep you from starting. “I don’t have enough money,” or, “I don’t know how to do that part.” Excuses hold you back from your greatness, but if you are confident, you can work past them. It’s easy to create excuses, but it’s hard to create progress. No matter how fast or slow you are going, as long as you’re moving forward, you are improving towards a result. You won’t make it there with excuses, but you will make it, eventually, if you ignore the distractions.
Do the hard things. Of course, we would rather take the path of least resistance, but most of the time, that won’t get you far. If you have to find a needle in a haystack, start looking. Most people would automatically give up because they think it would take too long, or they don’t have time to do such tedious work, but if you don’t start, you’ll never get there. Even if the task requires you to do more than expected, do it. You want to know what separates you from the others? Doing the work! No one else is smarter or better than you, they just decided to do the hard things that other people shy away from.
Encourage yourself. Some people give up on their goals because there was no one there to keep encouraging them. This is what you wanted to do – this is your promise to yourself. It’s great when we have people in our corner to cheer us on. Sometimes, you have to be your own cheerleader. It’s not their responsibility to keep you motivated or to make sure you don’t give up. You must hold yourself accountable. There will always be someone in the crowd ready to discourage you, but there won’t always be someone there to encourage you. Use your progress as personal encouragement – you are farther along than you were the day before.

Expect Difficulties, But Don’t Give Up

The most important thing you need to know is that it will be hard. Again, it will be hard.

When we stop expecting things to come easy and deal with the obstacles as they are, growth happens. Growth creates forward movement and that’s what carries us to success.

Facing obstacles and challenges head on will give us instant clues on what to do next. It didn’t work this way? Try that way. Did it go too fast? Next time, slow it down a little. You’re perfecting your path, one obstacle at a time.

Down 9 Times, Get Up 10

In today’s society, we are living in the age of instant gratification, but achieving your goal is a process that isn’t microwaveable. Your social media feed shows you everyone’s success, but it won’t show you the time, dedication, and focus it took to get there.

Don’t be intimidated by someone else’s accomplishment – it’s just a reminder that you can do it too, as long as you remain persistent and focused. Whether it takes two months or two years, you have the ability to make it happen.

It’s exciting to put your life’s puzzle together, piece by piece. There’s no doubt that it will take some time, but we are all capable of creating our outcome. If anyone asks, just tell them you’re still working on it, but it’s all coming together.

#BeGoalden