May 2019 - The Goalden Lady

Don’t Freak Out, Figure It Out

How many times have you come across a situation and begin to freak out? Everything around you stops and you have a dramatic moment of total mental chaos.

Having a meltdown brings progress to a halt. You think the only way to handle it now, is to overreact with emotion. You may not even think it, you just unconsciously give in, because that’s what you’ve seen others do.

There’s no need to have such a reaction. When you learn to respond thoughtfully, your mind has a chance to create a solution, as opposed to adding to the issue.

Train Your Brain

When first responders are in training, they are learning how to think through potential dilemmas. It’s important for them to know how to respond constructively in any situation, even if there are distractions.

Imagine if someone was hit by a car and the ambulance came. The first responder looks at the person who was hit and starts to freak out about how bad it looks. How helpful would that be?

First responders are trained to remain calm and to provide assistance – not to put on a dramatic performance and make things worse.

It’s the same with how we react to the challenges that life gives us. When something happens, don’t have an attitude of, “Oh no, my life is ruined! I’ll never get over this! It’s over! This is so bad!”

Respond thoughtfully. Think, “How can I make this happen? How can I help? What are the steps I need to take in order to make this happen?”

Be Solution Driven

Find a solution. Instead of giving in to your emotions and seeing the worst, build the habit of being solution focused. Most of the time, your reaction hurts the situation more than it helps.

Practice being calm and supportive. When everyone is in chaos around you, be the one who has ideas on how to move forward. Don’t let panic drive the situation further into the ground.

Even when you become angry, control it. You can feel angry, but at the moment, you need to react appropriately to the situation. Responding with anger usually doesn’t lead to an answer to your issue.

In other words, being emotional doesn’t give you any options to go on. When you are solution driven, you have a better chance of making progress.

Let’s Figure It Out

It takes discipline to keep your composure in times of disarray and confusion. When you stay focused on what’s actually happening in front of you without adding extra emotions, you have a far better chance of solving the issue.

Concentrate on what you can change, instead of what you can’t change. Give yourself the opportunity to push things in a positive direction. There are things you can do to improve the situation, but you must figure it out and not freak out.

As always, you have a choice. You can either respond with your emotions or respond by thinking and taking constructive action.

Put your emotions aside and be of help to those in need. Use your energy to be resourceful and control what you can.

#BeGoalden

What To Do When Life Sucks

We all have these elaborate ideas of how we want life to turn out. There are goals that we’re after and dreams that we want to fulfill.

What happens when things don’t go our way? Is it a sign to stop? Should we ignore it and keep going? Or, do we cut our losses and move on to something easier?

Everyone has a different response to life. Every challenge is unique, but there are two main things you can do to remain stable and see it through.

2 Things To Do When Life Sucks

Believe in yourself. It sounds corny, but it’s true. People say it so much that it has lost it’s true meaning. When things don’t go your way, instead of letting it happen, think about how to respond in a positive manner. Know that you can handle it, because you’ve handled things before. This may be a little different, but you have to fix your mind to believe that you can overcome it. The first thing we normally do is get down on ourselves and our ability to face it. Change your perspective and have the confidence to know that you will be fine and do your best. The only thing that’s stopping you is the negative story you tell yourself in your mind.
Take responsibility. Whatever happened may have not been your fault, but take responsibility for how you respond. Things happen all the time, but how you respond is key. Some people let things happen and they end up somewhere they don’t want to be. Take control and guide the situation in a favorable direction. At the very least, attempt to make things better. Do your part by figuring it out and taking the appropriate action. If it doesn’t work, be responsible and do something else. Giving up won’t help at all, but if you hold yourself accountable, the results could work towards the improvement of your situation.

The Outcome

If you do these two things, you’ll be putting yourself at an advantage. While it may not be fair, life will suck at some point and the best thing you can do is respond to it in a way that will benefit you.

That’s not to say that things will turn out exactly the way you want them to, but it’s definitely better to drive the situation than to let it drive you. If you let it drive you, there’s no telling where you’ll end up. Then, you’ll wish you exerted more effort and energy into controlling the outcome.

Be Mentally Strong

Above all, don’t let it get you down. It’s so easy to let the pieces fall where they may, but it doesn’t have to be like that. Know that you have the choice to make things better in your life.

Sometimes, we forget that we even have a choice. We’re so used to our circumstances that we become complacent and fall into a non-productive routine, where we just let things happen. Your effort still counts, even if you have made numerous attempts.

You have the power to change your position. When life happens, believe that you can handle it and take responsibility for how you respond. Step in and be a part of driving the solution, as opposed to giving in to the issue. Knowing how to manage life when it sucks, can make all the difference.

#BeGoalden

3 Distractions You Can Avoid To Gain An Edge On Life

Building yourself in a world full of distractions is difficult. Knowing how to gain an edge on life can be a great benefit to you.

What do you do in order to get ahead? Do you possess the traits of a person worthy of success? Are you willing to put forth the effort to separate yourself from those who are average?

3 Distractions You Can Stop Today

Stop gossiping. Why are you talking about someone else? It has nothing to do with you. In fact, discussing other people’s personal business is one of the biggest distractions. Never mind what they’re doing and how they’re doing it – if it has nothing to do with you, it shouldn’t be up for discussion. Talk about how you’re going to make yourself better and more productive.
Don’t be jealous. I understand that it’s hard to not pay attention to how well things are going for others, but being jealous doesn’t help. Again, if it has nothing to do with you, don’t give it your energy. We all have a unique journey and some people reach their goals faster than others. Also, you don’t know the backstory of how they got there. Take your focus back and use it to follow your own path.
Never hold a grudge. Let it go. You’re only hurting yourself when you hold a grudge against someone. Every single time you think about it, you’re taking away precious time from your life. It gives you unnecessary anxiety and stress. Whatever happened, forgive them for your sake and move on.

1 Thing You Can Start Today

If you can discipline yourself to stop doing those three things, you’ll notice a shift in your personal productivity.

There’s one thing you can do to help you gain that edge – do more. No matter what it is, do more. Even if you do just one more, that’s more than what the average person will do.

Over time, doing more will give you an advantage. When you read one more page, do one more rep, or make one more call, you’re preparing yourself to win. Doing one more will give you the advantage, but you won’t know until you practice it.

Give Yourself A Chance

No one is going to do it for you. It’s not just going to happen. If you stop gossiping, being jealous and holding grudges, you’re way ahead of those who enhance those habits by scrolling through social media and watch reality TV.

Give yourself a chance to build your life into who you want to be. You have a choice to be distracted or to be focused. Concentrate on yourself and mind your own business. Whatever it is, do more than needed and you’ll gain an edge on life.

#BeGoalden

How To Focus Your Energy Better

Everyday, we operate on autopilot. We put our energy into the wrong things and end up wasting it. When it’s time to do the right things, there’s no energy left.

There are many ways we can consume our personal energy, but where do we start? How can we productively use our mental strength better?

Better Mental Energy

Mental energy is used to make simple choices. Do you want vanilla or chocolate? Should you turn left or right? Blue or red?

If you’re not careful, these types of choices can be draining. Being indecisive contributes to a lot of wasted mental energy. You turn simple choices into life choices. Simple choices are not life choices, you just make it appear that way.

If you choose vanilla instead of chocolate, you’ll be fine, even if you don’t like it. These are not life changing choices. Nothing dramatic will happen if you make a wrong choice. Choose and go with it.

Better Solution-Focused Energy

Have you ever encountered a challenge and all you can do is think why is this happening? I thought I told Bill to do it, but he messed up. The printer ran out of paper, etc.

For some people, that’s where the buck stops. They will push the responsibility to anyone else, but themselves. Blaming someone else and finding excuses is another way that you waste energy.

Be a solution-seeker. If there’s a challenge, don’t put your energy into the problem, put it into finding a solution. That’s how you move forward. Blaming and complaining only prolongs the situation and makes it worse.

Better Personal Energy

Participating in gossip and minding other people’s business is another way that you waste energy. It has nothing to do with you, yet, you spend time talking about it, as if it does.

Unnecessary drama is a complete waste of time, but the fact is, this is how some people operate on a daily basis. Their life is dedicated to talking about other people and making themselves feel ‘good’ in the process.

It doesn’t work that way. Find something to do and be productive. Fix yourself, instead of finding other people to fix. Focus on your life and improve along the way.

Recycle The Good Energy

The good thing about energy is that it can be replenished. By eating healthy, exercising and getting good rest, you can rebuild it to use again.

Imagine if you used all of your power to be productive in your life. Instead of being indecisive about the small decisions, you would have more stamina to make the big decisions. Concentrating on a solution would automatically start the process of solving the challenge. How much closer would you be to achieving your goals if you focused on yourself instead of others?

Whenever you find yourself stagnant or comfortable, shift your thoughts towards being more constructive. Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill. Use your energy wisely by making better choices, because you do have a choice.

#BeGoalden

Building Life-Changing Habits

Everyone has habits and patterns that they live by. Most of those habits are done unconsciously and carried over into adulthood from our childhood environment. Building life-changing habits isn’t hard, once you figure out what habits you want to change.

After becoming an adult, you begin to recognize those habits you didn’t create. Maybe you have a drink after work every night or you read a chapter from a book before bedtime. Whatever it is, determine which habits propel you forward or hold you back.

The Habit Of Fear

Your childhood environment has impressed upon you certain habits. One of those habits could be fear.

My mother is deathly afraid of water. When we were younger, we would take trips to the beach, but she would warn us not to get in past our ankles. We weren’t even allowed to sit on the side of the pool. Water was not allowed in our lives, unless we were taking a shower or washing dishes.

As we became older, my siblings and I realized that water wasn’t as bad as we thought. We’ve led active lives by learning how to swim, taking water aerobics and participating in other water sports, without fear.

It took a while to get rid of that fear, because it was ingrained in us to never get too close to water. Once we became older, we changed that fear into something more productive.

The Habit Of Consistency

On the other hand, my father is an avid reader. Every night when he came home from work, he would read the newspaper.

This was another unconscious habit I picked up in my childhood. I love to read almost anything I can get my hands on. Like him, there’s not a day that goes by without me reading something.

This is one of the habits I learned in childhood that served me well. Not only does reading improve your comprehension and understanding, it helps to increase your focus.

What Habits Have You Created?

The biggest misconception about habits is that they can’t be changed. Just because it’s a habit doesn’t mean it’s permanent.

Think about where most of your habits come from. Whether they are good habits or bad habits, you have the power to change them to work in your favor.

Create new habits for yourself. What is that one thing you want to do every morning before you start your day, or that one thing you want to do before you go to bed? Make it a habit and it will become a natural part of your everyday life.

Positive Habits Can Change Your Life

By creating positive habits, or replacing bad habits with better habits, it can change your life.

The more you challenge yourself with good habits, the more confidence you will have. Things that seemed too scary to do, will become easier over time.

Building good habits will also diminish your limiting thoughts and beliefs. The more you do that habit, it will increase your self-esteem and you will find courage to follow through with your goals.

Always Have Productive Habits

When you develop your good habits, never stop. Instead of walking one mile, keep improving until you can walk or run a marathon. The good thing about practicing good habits is that they lead to better opportunities and endless possibilities.

It’s important to keep increasing your efforts and habits. Take it one day at a time and reward yourself. Celebrate the small wins, so that you know it’s possible. This helps as you move closer to your end result.

If you want to change your life for the better, you must start by building better habits. Replace the bad habits with life-changing habits by taking baby steps. If it’s a bad habit, do it a little bit less. If it’s a good habit, do it a little bit more.

Day by day and week after week, you’ll start to see a shift towards a more constructive and energetic life!

#BeGoalden

3 Things That Stop You Before You Get Started

What’s stopping you from becoming the magnificent person you want to be? There are 3 things that stop you before you get started and today, you’ll get past those challenges to get on the right track!

When you look in the mirror, there’s no one else there but you. You are responsible for your life and what you tolerate. Own your life – the good things, the bad things, the mistakes – take control of it all.

What’s Stopping You?

Other people. This is the most common culprit. We allow other people’s thoughts and opinions to direct our lives. If we do something that someone doesn’t like, we let it affect us. If someone else is having a bad day, we let it bleed over into our lives. Learn to separate your life from someone else’s. Your life is your own – don’t be so quick to hand it over to someone else. Have sympathy for others, but live your own life.
Excuses. Stop giving yourself an out. Giving yourself an excuse to feel better gets you no where. The entire point is to improve yourself and to become great. You deny every chance of your growth when you give excuses. Life may happen, but there’s still an opportunity to work around it. You can still choose to wake up earlier or stay up later – eat clean or eat junk food – save a few dollars or spend all you have. It all comes down to choosing an excuse or choosing that extra push.
Your inner voice. It’s not too late. You’re not too old. Just because it didn’t happen when you were 12, doesn’t mean it can’t happen when you’re 52. Don’t kill your own dreams. Anything can happen at any time. The negative chatter in your mind was put there by someone else, but you have to let it go. It only holds you back from your limitless potential. Every time you hear that negative inner voice, chase it with a positive answer.

Let’s Get It Started

Commit to yourself and your future. No one can stop you unless you allow them to stop you. Get out of your own way and make progress.

Anything can happen, but you must decide to start and take action, one step at a time. Don’t get used to turning down what you really want to do, just to satisfy someone else.

Distractions will pull your attention away from you plan. Do what it takes in order for you to be productive and move forward. Your focus will ultimately drive you towards your desired goal, so concentrate on what’s important and do your best to get it done.

The Final Outcome

Own your life without feeling guilty. It’s okay to say ‘no’ to others, so you can get started working on yourself. In the end, you are the only one accountable for your results – it’s in your hands.

Give yourself permission to start. Stop thinking that other people are right when it comes to your goals. Protect your mindset and step into your confidence. Success is earned by those who have the courage to start and focus on their plan.

#BeGoalden

Raising Your Standards

Being comfortable with where you are could be a sign that it’s time to raise your standards. Challenging yourself may seem boring and unproductive, but in the end, it pays off.

How does it pay off? When you start developing a good habit, it follows you throughout your life. It will show up in how you do everything. You may not be able to recognize it right away because you’ve been working on it for so long, but others will be able to notice it and see your potential.

Think Differently

How do you get better results? What can you do to separate yourself from the average person? Why do you even want to challenge yourself when no one is paying attention?

You get better results by going the extra mile. Most people can do what they’re asked to do, but very few will go the extra mile. How do you go the extra mile?

Going the extra mile means you take it one step further, even when no one is watching. Run one more lap. Read one more page. Save one more dollar.

Do what others aren’t doing.

Raising your standards is where growth happens. You are doing more than the regular person to become better. It doesn’t happen all at once, but you will improve one step at a time.

Stretch Yourself

Even when it seems like you can’t do one more, take a deep breath and go for it! It might hurt, but it won’t kill you.

Get into the habit of doing more. Doing more will allow you to create a pattern of never giving up. When the others stop, you keep going.

This is a characteristic that is only found in people who are disciplined and focused. Distractions will not get in their way. Limiting beliefs will not destroy their work ethic. They know they can only grow if they stretch themselves.

Get Rid Of The Excuses

It can be done, you just have to believe it and raise your standards.

There are many people who are ready to give you a million reasons why you should stop and how it’s a waste of time. These negative comments begin to stick in your head.

When you’re alone, thinking about going the extra mile, those voices will speak to you:

“Who are you to do this?”
“That will never work…”
“You don’t even know how to do that.”
“Why don’t you relax, it’s not going to happen anyway…”
“Who do you think you are?”

All of these whispers are floating around in your head, but don’t let it hold you back. It feels good to do more than what’s expected of you – it defines who you are and what you’re capable of. All you have to do is follow through.

Stop Expecting It To Be Easy

Greatness is within you, but you have to do the work in order to activate it. That means not listening to the naysayers and expecting things to come easy.

We want things to meet us where we are. Greatness doesn’t meet you where you are – you must get up and go to it! Rise to the occasion and display your best efforts.

It’s not going to be easy. If you want to step into your future, there is work that has to be done. Raise your standards and meet your potential. You’ll surprise yourself at how productive you can be and how far you can go.

#BeGoalden

Solving Problems And Making The Impossible Happen

How to make the impossible happen and how to solve problems.

Everyone must solve problems. For some, it’s easy to keep going, but for most, it’s hard to get past the initial situation. At times, we can even create our own problems. This is where people get stuck.

When people tell you it’s impossible, do you shrink back and feel embarrassed? Technically, you don’t need them to validate your thoughts, but some of us leave ourselves open to this type of rejection and we believe it.

You can handle anything – it’s all about how you choose to receive the information.

What Is A Problem?

Finding a solution to your problem isn’t that hard, it just depends on how you see it. The hard part is getting past the fact that it’s a ‘problem.’

How we see a problem, is the problem itself. A problem is not a problem – it’s a challenge.

This will shift your thinking to solution mode. After all, isn’t that what the goal is? When you call it a ‘challenge’ and not a ‘problem,’ it changes your perspective.

You can solve challenges. Even if they’re a bit difficult, your mind will start searching for a solution. When you see it as a problem, you instantly begin to think how hard it is and all the negative things that could happen.

Never A Problem, Always A Challenge

Once you begin to replace the word ‘problem’ with the word ‘challenge,’ answers will come to you. Your mind will open up and your thoughts will begin to move forward.

Challenges can be hard also, but figuring out a challenge is more productive than being stuck on a problem. You can solve anything, but the way you look at it plays a huge role in your mind’s ability to provide a path to an answer.

The Impossible Is Possible

We must talk to ourselves in a way that promotes action. Stop accepting what everyone else tells you. If you hang around those who always insult your ideas, you’ll begin to believe that your potential isn’t possible.

There are many things that seem impossible, but if you look at it differently, it can very well become something you can think through to a solid result. All you have to do is use the right words to spark your mindset.

Imagine how many things you could accomplish, if no one told you it was impossible. You would automatically think of a solution for everything, simply because you feel like it can be done. The impossible is very possible!

The Solution To It All

Finding a solution to a problem is stressful, but finding the solution to a challenge is more productive and exciting.

This is the path to finding solutions in everyday life. Shift your words and you will shift your actions. Are you creating a more forward-thinking mind by using better words or are you satisfied with being stagnant, stressed out and useless?

How do you solve a problem? By calling it a challenge. How do you do the impossible? By making it possible. No one likes to encounter problems because problems are stressful, but we all love a good challenge. No one likes to do the impossible because it’s been labelled as ‘impossible.’

If you’re stuck on a problem, call it a challenge. If someone says it’s impossible, make it happen. Protect your mind and change your perspective. It could be the difference between a rewarding life or a passive existence.

#BeGoalden

Big Thoughts Should Encourage Big Actions

Having big thoughts should equate to taking big action, but instead, we do the opposite. We have been programmed to think that we should leave the big ideas to someone else.

Everyday, we have ideas that we don’t act upon. We politely put them aside, as if we will consider them later. Later, never comes.

Think of how it will be when your idea works – how many people it will help, the number of kids it will inspire – it is very possible to see it come to life!

Get Out Of Your Own Head

Who told you to bury your ideas? Did someone embarrass you when you were thinking out loud? Why do you think you’re not good enough?

It’s the outside talking. We were all born with greatness inside. In the past, someone told you that you weren’t good enough or that your idea was stupid.

Now, you carry this with you for the rest of your life. It’s not true – get out of your own head and focus on your idea! You’re holding yourself back because of what others might say or think.

Don’t Live Your Life In A Box

Take action to bring your idea forward – if you have a big idea, it’s going to take some big action! Stop intimidating yourself into thinking that it won’t work.

All you have to do is be resourceful. Put one foot in front of the other and move. Living in a box is self-limiting – other people may have put you there, but you must break out.

You could be spending your time around the wrong people if they don’t inspire you to grow. It’s okay to walk away from a situation that doesn’t serve you. Find a better environment that fits your goals and visions.

Thoughts = Action

That’s a formula you should remember. Your actions should align with your thoughts – if you can’t control your thoughts, you can’t control anything.

How many times have you not taken action, because of that silly, negative voice in your head? Push that voice aside and take a different approach.

If you have an idea, start coming up with a strategy, right away. Act as if you are the owner of that awesome idea (you are)! Build it out in your head, write it down or record it on your phone. That’s how you take action.

It May Not Go The Way You Expected

If your idea doesn’t go the way you expected, then you know that approach didn’t work. Turn left and start again.

It’s not supposed to go exactly right the first time you do it. This is where you build your work ethic and your discipline. Others stop here, but you will go on.

Expand your mind and explore that idea. The original idea could easily take you down another road, that could possibly lead to a more productive outcome.

Big Ideas Matter

Give it a chance. If you do your research and you start moving little pieces, something is going to happen. No idea is too big for you to create in the real world.

Don’t sell yourself short. You are better than you think. Make an attempt to get those ideas and thoughts out of your head and into existence!

Give yourself permission. Get out of that box and start. You have limitless possibilities as long as you have breath in your body. You are amazing. Now go and do some amazing things!

#BeGoalden