September 2018 - The Goalden Lady

Rejection Is A Part of Growing

When we attempt to do something, we’ve been conditioned to cringe at the word ‘no.’ What makes this word so scary?

Whatever we do, we always look for approval, or a ‘yes.’ Getting a ‘no’ breaks us down, mentally.

Rejection is actually more constructive than we think it is. What can a ‘no’ do for you?

A ‘no’ will make you stronger. Don’t let your feelings get hurt. If people say ‘yes’ to you all the time, you become soft. You’ll expect everyone to give in to you and make you feel comfortable. There is no progress in comfort. Rejection is like exercising: the more reps you do, the stronger your muscle will become. Build your confidence, not your comfort level.
‘No’ sets you up for the best rewards. After going through so much rejection, the reward will be that much better. If you allow it to stop you, you’ll never know what could have been. Getting past a ‘no’ many times will prepare you for more opportunities in the future, because others will give up on their first try.
The more you hear ‘no,’ the more resilient you’ll be. After you hear it so much, you’ll have thick skin. Having thick skin means you can handle it like a pro. You know how to brush it off and move on. It shows that you’re not a quitter. Also, you prove to yourself that you have what it takes to be resilient and become successful.

Train yourself to keep going. Rejection is not there to make you feel bad, it’s there to push you to the next level. There won’t be a breakthrough unless you continue to take action.

As soon as you hear ‘no,’ move on to the next person. The word doesn’t hurt you, just your ego. Keep your emotions under control, so it won’t slow down your momentum. Always think, ‘what’s the next step.’

Don’t cheat yourself. ‘No’ is just code for ‘you can do it, so keep going.’ It puts you that much closer to getting a ‘yes.’ Don’t waste your time overthinking it – your only concern is to get results.

Rejection is very difficult to hear at first, but after a while, you’ll get the hang of it. You’ll develop a solid work ethic and become relentless. It doesn’t matter what others think – what matters is that you stay on track until you reach your goal.

How To Create Luck

We hear people say, “I got lucky.” Luck does exist to an extent, but it’s not something you want to depend on blindly to carry you through life.

They type of luck we’re talking about is built on intentional effort. You can create your own luck by having discipline, focus and being persistent. Build your foundation by creating your own luck, using these 3 characteristics:

Discipline. Being able to do things when you don’t feel like it, takes discipline. Getting up earlier than normal to put in extra work, takes discipline. Trying again after you failed 2 times before, takes discipline. Moving forward after people have criticized your efforts, takes discipline. Exercise your discipline muscle everyday – it’s the only way you will see results.
Focus. Giving strict attention to one thing is focus. It’s not jumping up to answer the phone when it rings. Your focus allows you to work on your goals fluently, without giving in to interruptions or distractions. Get focused if you want to see your luck happen.
Persistent. You can’t have luck if you give up. Being persistent is what makes luck happen. Giving in just because you’re tired is the weak approach. Persistence is continuing the process until something happens. Nothing short of death will stop you from making progress. This is what luck is made of.

As you can see, getting lucky takes hard work. No matter what your goal is, discipline, focus and persistence will create your luck, every time. No magical outside forces are needed to make it happen.

What attracts being unlucky? Mindlessly watching television, gossiping, scrolling through junk on social media and having desperate, uninspired conversation.

These things don’t contribute to luck because they don’t lead to productivity. Laying around in bed, waiting for life to happen, is a sure way to being unlucky. It doesn’t enhance your plans in any way.

It’s easy to be unlucky, but it takes positive and mindful action to become lucky. Think about your end goal and work backwards to where you are now. Take the first step. No more research, but physical action – making that phone call, eating that salad, or walking for 20 minutes.

By utilizing these 3 characteristics of luck, you can create your success many times over. Begin with baby steps.

Don’t do what everyone else is doing – whatever they’re doing isn’t going to help you. Create your own luck.

Be The Person You Want To Be

You want to be an entrepreneur? That’s fine, if it makes you happy.

You want to work 9 to 5? That’s fine, if it makes you happy.

There’s no set formula for success. As a matter of fact, you define success.

Success for you could be swimming from one side of the pool to the other – making money at your hobby – getting your newborn to laugh – designing the scariest Halloween costume – meditating and actually feeling the benefits – losing 20 pounds – or just being happy.

Many things can define success, but it’s your definition that counts. No one else can define it for you. We’re all different and we have our own unique paths to our achievements. We’re not here to do the same thing and arrive at the same destination. We create and design your own lives.

Just because someone is less fortunate than you doesn’t mean they aren’t happy. Just because someone is rich doesn’t mean they can’t experience severe depression. Just because someone is wealthy doesn’t mean they can’t lose it all.

Life is what you make it, good times and bad times and everything else in between. Anything can happen to anybody, but you have control over what you become.

It may take 5 months or it may take 5 years, but it’s your responsibility to get there.

One mistake that some people make is thinking that everyone has the same outlook. We box ourselves into one way of thinking. In the Age of Information, we can break out of that box and explore life on many levels.

Before, all we knew was what older people told us, so that was the path we followed. That was success. Now, we have many resources that can lead to various options. No longer do we have to ‘take this path, or you’ll be a failure.’ We have many ways we can hit our target.

Un-box yourself. There are more choices out there than what we’ve been used to. Our resources are no longer limited. We have the ability to become exactly who we want to be.

If you want to be a toy collector and that makes you happy, be that. That’s your success. Just know that becoming a doctor or a lawyer won’t bring you happiness just because it pulls in a big salary. A lot of those people are miserable.

There is no better opportunity in the history of time, than now. Take advantage of the privileges you have and create your happiness through your definition of success.

Figure It Out Along the Way

On the path to pursuing your goals, there will be some uncertainty. It’s natural to want to know how to do something so that you can be successful at it. Unfortunately, success doesn’t work that way.

You won’t know how to do everything. Obstacles will reveal themselves and you have to figure out how to handle them. This is not a sign for you to give up. How do you expect to accomplish anything at the first sign of defeat?

Growth is promoted through challenge. Facing that obstacle is what makes you a success in progress. It’s a stepping stone and an opportunity for you to gain more knowledge about what you’re doing.

It’s not easy and that’s why most people quit and settle where they are. Taking chances isn’t for the weak of heart. Even the smallest risk will push you out of your comfort zone.

Comfort is what holds people back the most. They don’t want to take a chance at solving a problem, unless there’s an immediate benefit. When there is no easy advantage to be gained, they stop.

The process isn’t meant to be simple, but if you’re going to reach your goal, you must figure things out along the way.

No one’s path is the same. There is no hack, or some secret that others know and you don’t. If there was an exact blueprint to success, everyone would be successful.

You must figure it out as you go along. While you’re figuring it out, you’re also learning the ropes. You will learn what to do and what NOT to do. Welcome the opportunity of firsthand wisdom.

Being familiar will get you no where. Backing away from a challenge doesn’t help you grow. Get used to any obstruction that blocks you from accomplishing your goal. Master the art of problem-solving.

The experience belongs exclusively to you. No one can walk in your shoes.

We want to stay at our level of comfort, because we know what to expect. There are no surprises and we know how things will turn out. Opting out will only give you the same results and nothing new will happen in your life.

It doesn’t hurt to take a risk and move forward. With determination and discipline, you can get through anything. Don’t let fear kick in and scare you away. Figure it out as you go along and you’ll see improvement the next time around.

Obstacles aren’t bad. They’re just little adventures within the process. It puts you closer and closer to your outcome. Explore and figure out your little adventures and you’ll be better for it.

How Information Overload Stops You From Being Productive

There’s an idea that’s been bouncing around in your head for quite some time. Finally, you decide to do the research and get started on it. When you find the information you need, you study it thoroughly.

“This is very interesting,” you think. Before you know it, you discover more details that seem helpful. Each time you come across something new about it, you continue to read.

And then you read some more. Then, you read more. When will you stop reading and researching and start?

This is a classic situation of information overload. Sometimes, we get so caught up in researching and finding more information, we fail to start. How much information do you need to begin?

You’re being busy, but not productive. Being busy is when you’re doing something that may contribute to your idea, but it’s not being put into action. Being productive is when you start and you see good or bad results and you make adjustments.

For example, reading about building engines for 3 hours a day is being busy. You can read all you want to, but it’s not doing anything.

Actually sitting down and building it is being productive.

It is good to be detailed and prepared for what you’re about to do, but at some point, you must stop reading and just build.

Doing extensive research is another way you avoid doing the actual work.

It’s a comfortable place to be, because you aren’t putting yourself out there for others to be critical or to judge. Researching is your safe space.

Stop fooling yourself. If you’re going to do it, stop reading and put in the work.

Another reason is perfection. Some of us feel like whatever we do must be perfect, but this is just another way we hide from the outside world of opinions.

When you become older, you’ll see that other people’s opinions don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Don’t buy into what people say about you – it’s called jealousy and insecurity.

You’re the one making progress and they aren’t. You’re the one making the most of your opportunities and they aren’t. You’re the one improving yourself to become better and they aren’t.

You’re doing everything they wish they had the courage to do. Remember that the next time you want to do extensive research and be perfect. Don’t hold yourself back because of what other people might think.

If that’s the case, get around people who promote the reality of your ideas. When you feed off of the energy of other like-minded people around you, the entire group will grow and improve and become exceptional! This is the support system you need to be around in order to thrive.

Get unstuck and move. Deliver. Put it out there. Expose it. Bring it. It doesn’t matter, just believe in yourself and do it!

Stop being busy and start being productive!

Participate In Your Life

Show up. Jump in. Fall down and get back up again.

It’s amazing the number of people who watch their life pass them by. Opportunities present themselves and they just won’t budge.

Why are you here? You get upset when someone wastes your time, but you won’t even be proactive in the life you live.

It’s your life!

You are the director and the star! You have creative control over what direction you want your movie to go in.

It’s not supposed to happen to you, you are supposed to make it happen!

Don’t let other people determine the end of your story. You can’t blame anyone but yourself if it doesn’t turn out the way you want it to.

This is all on you. Yes, it will be challenging. You will want to quit. You will see other people succeed before you. They are not your concern. That is not your movie.

Fight the negative chatter in your head. Replace it with positive affirmations. Keep moving forward. This is how you create your own outcome.

When you get a chance to do something positive, do it. That chance could turn into an opportunity to push you forward even more. Don’t get to the end of your life and wonder what would have happened if you did it. Do it so you’ll know what happens.

Make the necessary moves you need to make. Mom and Dad can only guide you so far. You must enhance your ability to grow and that only happens when you take action.

Participate in your life. It was made for you to design. Don’t hold back – do everything you wish you could do. Don’t let it pass you by.

You only get one. Make your dream come true.

Position Yourself To Win

In life, it’s easy to get caught up in the everyday normal routine. Wake up, go to work, come home, prepare dinner, watch TV, take a shower, and go to bed. Rinse and repeat.

Although the routine helps push the day along efficiently, we get so stuck in the pattern, we forget to think through most of it.

We are responsible for what happens in the situations we control. I’m not talking about when ‘life happens’ and throws us a curve ball, I’m talking about what we do to direct our own future.

No one owes you anything. Whatever happens to your goals and dreams is up to you and how bad you want to achieve it.

Position yourself to win.

One way to position yourself to win is to do more. Take those extra classes, pay the bills early, stay up a little later to finish your tasks – whatever it takes to put you ahead, do it.

If it seems like a little too much, that’s because it is. Normal people do normal things. Magnificent people do magnificent things. It’s your choice as to what type of life you want to lead.

Another way to position yourself to win is to take care of yourself. You can only operate on half a tank for so long before you give out.

There are times where you’ll need to do more than necessary to get to where you’re going, but at the same time, take care of yourself. Getting 3 hours of sleep may work for a couple of days, but to make that an everyday habit is not good for your body or your mind and will ultimately slow you down.

Eat healthy, talk a walk/run, play with the kids, get a massage – self care is how you’re able to do more. If you don’t take care of yourself, nothing will get done.

When you position yourself to win, you are prepared for anything that comes your way. It’s a good feeling to have most things taken care of. When something happens, you’ve already prepped for it to be handled. Other people would be scrambling, trying to find a solution or a band-aid to hold it together until they can manage.

It takes some sacrifice, but that’s the price of being great. When you have positioned yourself to win, things happen. Doors will open up and opportunities will begin to flow. All it takes is a little sacrifice and positioning.

Run YOUR Race

Life can be hard. But if it was easy, we wouldn’t appreciate it the way we do.

I get it. No matter how much planning you do, it doesn’t seem to go the way you planned it. You set the goal for it to happen in 2 years and it’s been 4 years and you don’t see it. You wrote it down, you did the vision board, and you said the affirmations everyday.

By all means, don’t stop what you’re doing. If you stop, you’ll never see your success. Here’s how to run YOUR race.

Don’t get distracted. Sometimes, we can focus too much on what others have achieved. There’s no rule book saying that we all are supposed to be millionaires by 35. Let go of the little distractions that pull you aside from your goal. Start with silencing notifications on your cell phone. Or, you could turn off the TV for a day, do your work and see what happens. Or, stop letting someone else’s ‘success’ get you down.
Stop comparing your life to theirs. It’s difficult to know that you followed all the rules of life and you still feel like you’re behind. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. You should be further along. That’s life. Things happen everyday, but somehow, we figure out how to move on and keep pushing. Just because you don’t see somebody else’s struggles doesn’t mean they don’t have any. It’s impossible to focus on what you’re doing, if you’re paying attention to someone else.
Focus on YOU. Put the horse blinders on. Figure out YOUR way. Help yourself first, then you can help others. It’s not being selfish. They even tell you on the airplane to put YOUR mask on first, then help the person next to you.
Don’t give up on YOU. How many times have we been disappointed by other people? How many times have you given your best to someone and they step on it? No one is going to care about you, but YOU. Don’t depend on other people for your satisfaction in life. Only you can make things happen.
Take a break. Do not mistake a break for stopping. Things can get heavy sometimes and you need to take a breather. That’s totally fine, but don’t allow taking a breather to turn into quitting. It’s not the same thing. Give yourself a chance to reset. It could bring about new ideas and thoughts to help push you forward.
Celebrate the small wins. The little things that happen everyday, give yourself credit for them. It’s the small wins that pave the way for the big wins. It’s a sign that you’re on the right track. Small wins matter! Even though you may not see your goals coming to be at the moment, it’s your responsibility to continue on and make it happen. If you stop, you’ll never get what you dream of – and no one else is going to give it you.

Keep your mind in a successful space. Keep doing the vision boards, writing down your goals and reading your affirmations. That’s what keeps you going. That’s what helps hold you up when others try to bring you down and say you can’t do it.

Have you ever heard someone say that the road to success was a piece of cake? No. Everyone has a story to tell. You just haven’t finished living your story yet, but when you do, what a story it will be and a great opportunity to help others.

YOU will be successful at your goals in life. When you get there, be that voice that helps others. Pay it forward, because you used to be that person.

Smile and know you are on the right track. There are lots of people who give up – don’t be one of them. Prove to yourself that you have what it takes to become the success YOU want to be!