Month: July 2017

There are things that we are all afraid to do. The sooner you get around to doing it, the better off you’ll be. It’s taking up time and energy that you could be using on doing your work.

Let’s say you’re afraid of public speaking. You avoid it as much as possible. You never volunteer to talk in front of an audience of two or more people. Well, public speaking is one of those things that you’re going to need to do every once in a while. Do you continue to avoid it like a disease, or do you confront it and just do it?

Whatever you are afraid of doing, more than likely, it’s something that is going to keep coming up again and again. If you just do it and attempt to make it less scary, life will be that much better. You don’t exactly need to master it, but you need to not be afraid of doing it. It shouldn’t stop everything else that you’re doing and take up valuable time. It should be something that you can do whenever it comes up and then you’re able to move on to what’s next. Don’t allow it to scare you and freeze your steps every time it needs to be done.

Do what it takes to do that scary thing. Get help, if you need it. Go cold turkey and just do it. It doesn’t matter what method you choose, the point is to get it over with, then, get over it. More than likely, no one else is putting as much thought into it as you are. As always, do your best and keep it moving. There are other things that need to be done.

My advice may sound a bit harsh to some, but when it comes down to it, you either need to poop or get off the pot. It’s simple – get help or just do it, practice, and get better. The more you do it, the less scary it becomes. If need be, hire someone to do it for you, but don’t waste your time and energy trying to figure out how you’re going to do it, every time it needs to be done. There are many other things that you are great at doing – put your time and energy into that.

Realize that if you go through with doing this scary thing, after you’ve done it, you’ll live. You’ll get better and better and then, there won’t be a second thought when you have to do it again. Drink some water. Get it over with, then, get over it.

Making mistakes can be harsh. You blame yourself and continuously think about how you let it happen. You think, “How could I have been so stupid?” It’s happened to us all. You must learn to leave it in the past, in order to continue your journey.

Trying new things can be exciting. You have a million ideas and can’t wait to start. When you begin something totally new and you haven’t found guidance or a mentor, it can be tough. You hope you’re doing the right thing and not making too many mistakes. It can be daunting, but remember, you are learning firsthand, as you go along.

Mistakes can be a good teacher. People have a habit of starting a task and thinking everything will go right the first time around. Unless you’ve found a mentor that can save you from those mistakes, you will run into some challenges. Maybe you spent too much money on something you needed or your plan didn’t turn out the way you pictured and it is now a disaster.

The most important thing is this: don’t quit. Realize that things are going happen. This is a learning process, therefore, you must keep going in order to learn what NOT to do. Streamline what you are doing – you might be able to sell it later or make it into an app for others to use. It hurts when we have to learn a lesson the hard way, but at least you know there is a lesson to acknowledge.

Don’t be hard on yourself. Keep it moving. It’s done and it’s in the past. There is nothing you can do about it now. Don’t allow your anger to consume you to the point where you give up. Yes, being scammed out of $200 is bad, but now you know. You can always make more money. Again, that’s a hard lesson to learn and let go, but I bet you won’t let it happen again!

We all make mistakes. Some people become angry and stop and others (like you) learn from it, let it go, and move on. Your situation could help someone later in life. It’s awful to make a mistake in the first place, but as long as you learn not to make the same mistake twice, you’re ahead of most people who’ve made the same mistake and just stopped. Drink some water, get over it, and do better.

It’s common in today’s world to judge someone just by looking at them. As soon as you see someone, there are some type of thoughts that go through your mind. It happens unconsciously, but you should try not to let those first thoughts get in your way of meeting someone new. Speaking courteously to others could lead to learning something, or even a friendship.

You never know who someone really is until you get to know them. One of the most common things you can do is just open your mouth and speak. I’ve seen people who will look dead in your face and not say a word. A simple ‘hello’ is all that’s needed. You can either expand from there, or keep it moving. It’s just the fact of showing common courtesy.

Sometimes, you’re stuck in the line at the store. Some people will strike up a conversation, just to pass time. I’ve found out so much about others this way. You’ll be amazed who you meet, where they’ve been, what they do for a living or where they’re from (just to name a few things). Everyone has a life different from yours – to me, that’s interesting enough on it’s own.

My mother used to tell me, “You never know what someone else is going through in their life, at that particular time”. The older I became, the more I began to see this. Sometimes, all someone needs is a smile or a lame joke to bring some happiness to their day. Words are powerful. Whatever you say can make or break someone at any given moment. It can propel them forward to their best or push them off the ledge. Therefore, use encouraging words. There is always someone who could use them.

People have their own life stories, trials and tribulations, successes and failures. You may learn something from a stranger, just by saying ‘hello’. On the other hand, you may meet a grouch. It doesn’t take anything to speak to someone. Lifelong friendships and marriages have come out of speaking to strangers. Don’t judge anyone – speak and see what happens.

There are some challenges that are so big, they seem impossible. These ‘big’ challenges will deter some people from even starting. Challenges can seem overwhelming, but the best thing to do is to drink some water and start.

Let’s use buying a house as an example. It’s not like buying a candy bar at a store, where the entire transaction takes less than ten seconds and you get a receipt. The first thing you should do is research. The internet can be used for good things, too. Look up how to buy a home and you’ll get many hits on the subject. You can also ask someone who already owns a home, but for good measure, do your research, too.

As you research, you see that there are certain things that need to be done, prior to looking at a home. You will need a real estate agent and a loan officer to help you determine how much you can afford. These are the necessary people (among others) who will help you along the way. Your family and friends will have their opinions, but you must keep going, because of course, you want to see this through and achieve your goal of owning a home.

There will be things that come up – negotiations, missing paperwork, so-called ‘professionals’ not showing up for their appointment – it happens. Do not get discouraged. Handle the mishaps the best way you can. Put your emotions aside and work through it.

Soon, you’ll notice everything will begin to fall together. It’s not quite the end, but you’re getting there. You have followed the advice of your agent and the loan officer – you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Don’t get too excited, because you still have to go through another step. Things can still go wrong in the very end, but you will see it through.

The last step to buying a home is closing. Closing is where you will sign all kinds of documents to ensure the home is legally yours. Then, the closing attorney says, “Congratulations! You are now a homeowner!” You are so proud of yourself and your accomplishment! That’s what it takes.

You’ve broken down the process and followed the steps, along with the guidance from your agent and loan officer. You didn’t give up when they told you how to improve your credit score. You didn’t catch an attitude when the loan officer told you that you couldn’t afford a certain home. You broke down the process and you kept going. Most importantly, you ignored the naysayers.

When you have a big goal, people will come out of the woodwork to tell you how they tried and it didn’t work, or how they know someone who did it and it ended badly. The only person that will tell you that you can do it, is yourself. You are your biggest supporter! It may seem like it can’t be done, but if you break it down and chip away at it day by day, you will succeed and accomplish that big, impossible goal!

You know how much effort you put into your work. Never cheat yourself out of being consistent with your progress. You have no one to satisfy, but yourself. One of the best feelings is to go to bed with satisfaction and wake up the next morning ready to do it again!

Satisfaction puts you in a good place. Everyone wants to be satisfied with what they have, what they are doing and what others have to offer them. It means you are good with the way things have turned out. Your expectations have been met and now you can happily move on to the next challenge.

When you do your best, sometimes, you look to others for approval. It’s natural to seek a positive opinion on a task you complete. When you don’t get the reaction you wanted, don’t go putting yourself down. Everyone doesn’t go around giving out compliments and acknowledgement on how well you did something. Instead, it’s best not to seek any type of reaction at all.

Once you start looking for approval from people, it’s almost like a drug. You become dependent on what they will say about you or your work. It begins to affect you in a negative way. When you don’t get that reaction, you’re depressed or begin to brainstorm on what you did wrong and it takes up valuable time. You may even go around looking for a pat on the back. Actually, they were probably too busy thinking about their own issues. Not everyone has the time or consideration to acknowledge everything you do.

Therefore, satisfy yourself. Wake up in the morning and know you’re going to bring it! You can even throw a compliment to someone else for a job well done! Work through your day, doing everything with focus and persistence. So what if no one recognizes all the awesome things you’ve been doing, you see the bigger picture and you know your reward.

Once you’re done with the day, you will feel accomplished. You have moved that needle of progress! No one may not have told you how great you did that day, but know this: you will go to bed with satisfaction and that’s one of the most magnificent feelings in the world! Then drink some water – you deserve it!

Throughout this journey of life, we run into people we want to help. Helping others is the good thing to do, right? Since you are on the path to success, sometimes, you feel like you need to assist someone else with their path. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you have to look out for you, first.

You can devote so much time into helping someone else reach their goals. It’s the idea of someone asking you for advice or looking up to you, that makes you feel good. Then, before you know it, you’re telling them what to do and how to do it and it begins to slow down your own personal progress. It drains you. When it seems like they aren’t responding, you try even harder to make them find their way, to “see the light”. That’s the issue – you can’t find their way. They have to find their own way.

As time goes on, in your good-natured spirit, you begin “carrying” them. You want them to succeed like you do, so you begin to invest time into helping them. For a while, it may feel like you’re doing them an honest favor, but they aren’t really appreciative of your assistance. You take them with you to important business meetings, show them how to navigate the network, introduce them to others with the same level of motivation, etc. They start to depend on you for their success, when they should be making moves for themselves.

Then, when you come to your senses and pull back to work on your dreams, you get the go-to line: “Oh, you think you’re better than me? You’re too good to hang with me?” Or, my favorite line: “You done changed.” Don’t get caught up in your feelings, trying to prove them wrong. Everyone is responsible for their own success. Let me say that again: Everyone is RESPONSIBLE for their OWN success. Yes, there are people who will help you along the way and it’s up to you to take the help for what it’s worth. Give credit where credit is due. The difference is, they helped you, but they didn’t carry you.

Sometimes, you just got to do things for yourself. It’s not being selfish, but you can’t help others who don’t want to be helped. When people want your help, they’ll take it and make it work for them and move on. They won’t act like you’re getting on their nerves or like you owe them. You can end up putting in so much effort and time on someone else’s behalf, you lose yourself. You can’t have faith for anyone else – you can’t believe for anyone else – you can’t act on anyone else’s goals – you must do your own work and they must do their own work, if they decide to. Everyone has their own path. Drink some water. Save yourself first.

We’ve heard it before – life isn’t fair. How is anyone supposed to deal with that? Are some people more favored than others? Why is it that some people seem to have all the luck and others don’t have any luck at all? I’ll tell you why.

Life isn’t fair. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. We think that good things should happen to good people and only bad things should happen to bad people. It doesn’t go that way. The truth is, all kinds of things happen to all kinds of people. The secret is in how you deal with those challenges.

Know that you are in control of your life. No one else owns it but you. It is your responsibility to guide yourself into the best life possible. When bad things happen, deal with it. Respond calmly, not dramatically. Don’t make things worse for yourself by getting frustrated. Think it through and handle it. I’ve never seen anyone solve a problem successfully by being emotional or irrational.

There are some things that happen out of our control, but we still have to respond the best way we can. Unfortunately, people die. Life doesn’t stop after someone dies. I do understand that it is an emotional time when someone loses a loved one, but at the same time, we still need to attempt to move on. Have your moment to grieve. Don’t stay in that moment for too long. Yes, that moment will come back to you at various times and when you least expect it and that’s okay. The thing you have to remember is to keep moving on. Don’t stay in your emotions for too long. At some point, it’ll be time to move forward, because that is what your loved one would want you to do.

Own it. Whether it is good or bad, make the unfair situation work for you. If it seems like you aren’t getting anywhere with a particular situation, move on to another one. I’ve seen many documentaries of people who have lost limbs and other body parts and they still find the sunshine in their rain. It wasn’t fair what happened to them, but they find a way to not let it get them down. I’m sure they have their ‘why me’ moments, but they find the strength to keep going. That’s how you accomplishing anything.

So basically, stop looking for excuses and blaming others for the unfair things life has done to you. These unfair moments make you who you are and develop your character as a person. A strong person comes from adversity and challenges. A weak person comes from nothing. Know that you can always push through to the other side – it may take time and effort, but it will pass. Just keep going forward, one day at a time.