Save Yourself First

Throughout this journey of life, we run into people we want to help. Helping others is the good thing to do, right? Since you are on the path to success, sometimes, you feel like you need to assist someone else with their path. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you have to look out for you, first.

You can devote so much time into helping someone else reach their goals. It’s the idea of someone asking you for advice or looking up to you, that makes you feel good. Then, before you know it, you’re telling them what to do and how to do it and it begins to slow down your own personal progress. It drains you. When it seems like they aren’t responding, you try even harder to make them find their way, to “see the light”. That’s the issue – you can’t find their way. They have to find their own way.

As time goes on, in your good-natured spirit, you begin “carrying” them. You want them to succeed like you do, so you begin to invest time into helping them. For a while, it may feel like you’re doing them an honest favor, but they aren’t really appreciative of your assistance. You take them with you to important business meetings, show them how to navigate the network, introduce them to others with the same level of motivation, etc. They start to depend on you for their success, when they should be making moves for themselves.

Then, when you come to your senses and pull back to work on your dreams, you get the go-to line: “Oh, you think you’re better than me? You’re too good to hang with me?” Or, my favorite line: “You done changed.” Don’t get caught up in your feelings, trying to prove them wrong. Everyone is responsible for their own success. Let me say that again: Everyone is RESPONSIBLE for their OWN success. Yes, there are people who will help you along the way and it’s up to you to take the help for what it’s worth. Give credit where credit is due. The difference is, they helped you, but they didn’t carry you.

Sometimes, you just got to do things for yourself. It’s not being selfish, but you can’t help others who don’t want to be helped. When people want your help, they’ll take it and make it work for them and move on. They won’t act like you’re getting on their nerves or like you owe them. You can end up putting in so much effort and time on someone else’s behalf, you lose yourself. You can’t have faith for anyone else – you can’t believe for anyone else – you can’t act on anyone else’s goals – you must do your own work and they must do their own work, if they decide to. Everyone has their own path. Drink some water. Save yourself first.