opportunity Archives - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: How To Find the Opportunity In Fear

It sounds impossible, but you can find the opportunity in fear. Depending on your mindset, fear can either hold you back or take you to another level.

We’ve been trained to see fear and hurt as something to avoid. It’s something ‘bad’ that we want to get away from and we don’t ever want to experience it.

Have you ever considered that maybe your fear is pushing you in the right direction? Let’s examine how we normally react to fear.

Blaming And Complaining

Fear gets the best of our emotions. As soon as something makes us fearful, our feelings kick in and take over.

For some of us, that means we automatically become defensive. We create different excuses as to why we haven’t done something. The excuses are portrayed through blaming and complaining.

We say things like, “I couldn’t make the speech because they didn’t give me the right microphone…” or, “The lights were so bright, I couldn’t see the audience.” That’s fear consuming your mind and your attitude.

Those may be somewhat legitimate reasons (to an extent), but they’re still excuses. Sometimes, you will have to get things done, whether you are comfortable or not. Everything is not guaranteed to happen to your personal satisfaction. The end goal is to make it happen, the best way you can.

Practicing Fear

Some of us actually practice the fear within us. When you have pity parties and feel sorry for yourself, that’s being supporting of a negative emotion.

We say things like, “They said I’m no good at singing. I never was and I guess I never will be…”, or “I flunked the test twice already – I guess it’s not meant for me.” You’re indirectly inviting negative energy to take hold of your life.

If it’s something you really want to overcome, don’t feel bad because it didn’t happen the first time around. As long as you breathe, you can make another attempt.

There will always be people who are critical of whatever you’re doing. Never allow what someone else thinks, to interfere with what you’re doing. It’s their insecurity, not yours, so don’t claim it.

The Pity Party

The pity party is the ultimate setback. Some of us were raised to think and be fearful of things we’ve failed at. We’ve been taught to accept that we’re not ‘good enough’ and that’s not okay.

We’re used to reacting to obstacles by putting ourselves down. “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” Then, you begin playing all of your failures from the past, over and over in your mind.

This is not the ONLY way to respond to fear. Yes, it hurts when challenging situations happen, but have a mindset of power and opportunity. Stop practicing fear by having a “woe is me” attitude and thinking that you’ll never succeed.

Be Proactive

All of our lives, we’ve allowed fear to steal valuable moments from us. We’re so used to believing in a negative, emotional power, that it literally takes up our most important asset – time.

Reclaim your time and take advantage of your fear. Be productive by turning it into an opportunity to become better. Make it a personal project that you must successfully complete!

Instead of letting fear control you, take control of it. See the benefits of what fear has to offer and use it in your favor. On the other side of fear is improvement. See through it, then, see it through.

#BeGoalden

Change Is What Grows You

Change is a scary concept to most people. Depending on how you look at it, it can be a terrible thing or life-changing.

We’ve been taught that change means something negative is about to happen, or that whatever it is, won’t work out.

As a result, we avoid change as much as we can. This stunts our growth and keeps us in the same place, year after year, yet, we wonder why nothing good is happening to us.

Change Your Perspective

Certain words strike a certain meaning when we hear it. We think failure means it’s over, a mistake means it can’t be done and a problem means to stop after the first attempt.

We associate all of these words in a negative way, but in reality, we can give them a more positive meaning. Failure means you’re learning, a mistake means you’re receiving feedback and a problem is simply a challenge.

Knowing that these words hold a different, more positive meaning, how does it make you feel? Do you think there’s a possibility that you can achieve your goal or do you still think it’s impossible?

Changing your perspective with words and different situations can help you become more productive. As you can see in the example above, words have power. When you change how you define those words, it changes your thought pattern and your habits for the better.

Fix Your Actions

Are you one of those people that does the same thing day in and day out and wonder why nothing is pushing you forward? It’s because you haven’t changed anything to spark something different to happen.

You must take responsibility for your own actions by changing what you do. Develop a different way to achieve what you want. We all hit a plateau after a while – that means it’s time to take it to the next level.

Don’t keep eating fast food and expect to lose twenty pounds. Ignoring your homework assignments won’t help you pass that class. Spending your money without saving or investing won’t get you closer to retirement. Something has to change.

Yes, change may be difficult, but if you want to be successful, it’s mandatory. You’ll have to change your habits if you want to see change in your life. You’re playing life backwards if you think you can get the best out of it by not putting in any effort. Even the best habits could use a little improvement.

How Do You See Change?

All change is not bad. It’s what promotes growth, challenges you and allows you to step into your greatness. Don’t be afraid if it comes up in your life – switch your perspective and follow through with confidence.

As long as you can control your response to what happens, you can make change positive. There are some things that happen out of your control, but if you can do something to make it better on the other side, change can be your friend.

If you want different results, you must be willing to shift. Everything you’ve done up to this point doesn’t have to stay the same – you can adapt and adjust at any given moment.

Nothing is written in stone. If you don’t like it (whatever it is), get up and do something about it. Make a change and watch how life opens up to progress and opportunity!

#TBT: How To Find The Opportunity In Fear

It sounds impossible, but you can find the opportunity in fear. Depending on your mindset, fear can either hold you back or take you to another level.

We’ve been trained to see fear and hurt as something to avoid. It’s something ‘bad’ that we want to get away from and we don’t ever want to experience it.

Have you ever considered that maybe your fear is pushing you in the right direction? Let’s examine how we normally react to fear.

Blaming And Complaining

Fear gets the best of our emotions. As soon as something makes us fearful, our feelings kick in and take over.

For some of us, that means we automatically become defensive. We create different excuses as to why we haven’t done something. The excuses are portrayed through blaming and complaining.

Practicing Fear

Some of us actually practice the fear within us. When you have pity parties and feel sorry for yourself, that’s being supporting of a negative emotion.

If it’s something you really want to overcome, don’t feel bad because it didn’t happen the first time around. As long as you breathe, you can make another attempt.

The Pity Party

We’re used to reacting to obstacles by putting ourselves down. “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” Then, you begin playing all of your failures from the past, over and over in your mind.

Be Proactive

All of our lives, we’ve allowed fear to steal valuable moments from us. We’re so used to believing in a negative, emotional power, that it literally takes up our most important asset – time.

Reclaim your time and take advantage of your fear. Be productive by turning it into an opportunity to become better. Make it a personal project that you must successfully complete!

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Starting Over Sucks, But It’s Also An Opportunity

Starting over sounds like the end. “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” These are the types of emotional questions you ask yourself when things go left in your life. Nothing seems to go your way and it feels like there’s no way out.

Starting over may feel like a waste of time, but what if we could use it to our advantage? How can we turn this around? Is it possible to create another opportunity for yourself?

Starting Over Is Overwhelming

You may have been laid off from a job, gotten a divorce or even lost yourself through a set of events. We expect life to go as planned, but when things are going good, it sneaks up on us and turns everything upside down.

Whatever misfortune has happened, it feels like a nightmare that never ends. All of your thoughts are rushing in your head, trying to figure out how to get back on track without losing even more. You become a mental mess.

Time isn’t moving fast enough. It’s overwhelming and stressful. Anxiety kicks in and takes over your body. You immediately begin to think the worst because you were doing so well. What do you do, now?

Begin Starting Over As Soon As Possible

After you’ve had a mental and physical break down, take a moment to actually create a plan. Something has to go, but it won’t go until you push it.

Even if this whole thing wasn’t your fault, the responsibility of moving forward belongs to you. The only way you will make progress is if you get up and move on.

Don’t stay stuck in the victim role. At some point, you must decide to take your life back and lead it to where you want it to go. This is your opportunity to make changes and guide yourself to where you really want to be. At this point, the only way is up.

Get up. Move forward, even if you have to take baby steps. Doing something is better than doing nothing. You owe it to yourself to see where your potential will take you. Change your thoughts from “why me,’ to “why not me?”

Life Is For The Taking

Get your mind back to thinking constructive thoughts. This is your story and you have the power to write the next chapter and turn it into an award-winning piece of work.

Allowing things outside of your control to manipulate how you operate is self-sabotage. How can you expect greatness if you don’t give direction to your own goals? Letting life happen on it’s own is not the answer. You must make the plan and work it.

Empower yourself. Strengthen your mindset and get around encouraging people. Read and listen to positive books and speeches. Use your resources to start over and turn your life around.

You Must Save Yourself

It may seem like a long road is ahead of you, but you must accept what it is and get started. You can wallow in disbelief or you can fight for the life you deserve.

Give yourself time to grow and make adjustments. The time will pass – the question is will you use it wisely and make it count, or will you sit in self-pity and watch it pass you by?

Find that job you’ve always wanted, be the person you want to attract or get out of your own way and be who you are. Find that magnificence in you and walk into it. Life may have happened to you, but by moving forward one step at a time, you can make it happen your way.

#BeGoalden

The Fear of Judgment: What Can You Do?

The fear of judgment is one of the biggest fears that people have today. Any other form of negativity is acceptable, but when someone judges you, it’s a defeated feeling.

How does this fear develop? Is it something you can unlearn? Can you make yourself immune to these kinds of stubborn critiques?

The Fear of Being Judged

Maybe this type of fear began in school. You had to do a presentation in front of the class and the teacher would grade you on how well you did.

This is enough to make most people nervous. When someone is watching you and will be giving an opinionated assessment on what you’re doing, it can cause a little anxiety.

It’s good to be aware of how others perceive you, but when you take it too seriously, it becomes a hindrance. Other people’s opinion becomes your standard because you are constantly trying to appeal to their thoughts.

Also, when other people insult your ideas, it makes you second guess yourself. You start wondering what if they’re right or you’re not good enough to make your idea happen. Most of it is out of jealousy because you are elevating your life and they haven’t moved an inch. That’s the only way they can hold you back and sometimes, we allow it to stop us from starting.

What others think (or say) about you is not who you are. It is not the end of the world if someone has a negative view of you. People may create a vision in their minds of who they think you are, but it’s not necessarily true – it’s just an opinion.

Unlearn That Feeling

The best way to get over the fear of judgment is to not care at all. It can be difficult to do (because we’ve all been taught to please others to a degree), but it’s crucial to your growth and your life’s success.

No one else is you and no one can be you. That should be motivating in itself! You’ve created yourself up to this point and you should know who you are. If someone makes a judgment about you, it shouldn’t make you stop in your tracks. Your goals are your number one priority, not what someone says to insult you.

If someone says something untrue about you, ignore it. Don’t give away your energy so easily. People will say things to get under your skin or simply out of jealousy. If you know this, why let it affect you?

Unlearn this thing where you have to please everyone and be who they want you to be. It’s a false assumption. Trust yourself enough to weed out the bad voices and the people who say those negative things. They judge you because they are insecure. They feel bad, therefore, they want someone else to feel bad, also.

By knowing yourself, you can unlearn the habit of taking any kind of judgment to heart.

No Judging

Since you know how it feels to be judged in a negative way, you should act accordingly. Never assume or judge anyone else, whether you know them or not. Everyone is different and should be given the opportunity to create their own lives as they see fit.

Not judging others gives everyone a chance to grow and expand their mindset. The thought of not following through with a task or a goal, just because someone thinks you can’t do it, is ridiculous. Don’t live the rest of your life fitting into someone else’s box that they designed for you.

You only have one life. Live it to your fullest potential and until you make your dreams come true. No one else can do it for you. Take the initiative, act on your plan and fulfill your destiny. You have one shot.

#BeGoalden

Starting Over Sucks, But It’s Also An Opportunity

Starting over may feel like a waste of time, but what if we could use it to our advantage? How can we turn this around? Is it possible to create another opportunity for yourself?

Starting Over Is Overwhelming

Begin Starting Over As Soon As Possible

After you’ve had a mental and physical break down, take a moment to actually create a plan. Something has to go, but it won’t go until you push it.

Even if this whole thing wasn’t your fault, the responsibility of moving forward belongs to you. The only way you will make progress is if you get up and move on.

Life Is For The Taking

Get your mind back to thinking constructive thoughts. This is your story and you have the power to write the next chapter and turn it into an award-winning piece of work.

Empower yourself. Strengthen your mindset and get around encouraging people. Read and listen to positive books and speeches. Use your resources to start over and turn your life around.

You Must Save Yourself

It may seem like a long road is ahead of you, but you must accept what it is and get started. You can wallow in disbelief or you can fight for the life you deserve.

Give yourself time to grow and make adjustments. The time will pass – the question is will you use it wisely and make it count, or will you sit in self-pity and watch it pass you by?

#BeGoalden

How To Find The Opportunity In Fear

It sounds impossible, but you can find the opportunity in fear. Depending on your mindset, fear can either hold you back or take you to another level.

We’ve been trained to see fear and hurt as something to avoid. It’s something ‘bad’ that we want to get away from and we don’t ever want to experience it.

Have you ever considered that maybe your fear is pushing you in the right direction? Let’s examine how we normally react to fear.

Blaming And Complaining

Fear gets the best of our emotions. As soon as something makes us fearful, our feelings kick in and take over.

For some of us, that means we automatically become defensive. We create different excuses as to why we haven’t done something. The excuses are portrayed through blaming and complaining.

Practicing Fear

Some of us actually practice the fear within us. When you have pity parties and feel sorry for yourself, that’s being supporting of a negative emotion.

If it’s something you really want to overcome, don’t feel bad because it didn’t happen the first time around. As long as you breathe, you can make another attempt.

The Pity Party

We’re used to reacting to obstacles by putting ourselves down. “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” Then, you begin playing all of your failures from the past, over and over in your mind.

Be Proactive

All of our lives, we’ve allowed fear to steal valuable moments from us. We’re so used to believing in a negative, emotional power, that it literally takes up our most important asset – time.

Reclaim your time and take advantage of your fear. Be productive by turning it into an opportunity to become better. Make it a personal project that you must successfully complete!

#BeGoalden

The Best Investment To Make, When You Have Absolutely Nothing

What is the best investment to make, when you have nothing? Is it stocks? Real estate? Car collection or hand bags?

Before you even think of making an investment, you must have a lot of money, right? Wrong. There’s one thing you can invest in that’s free and well worth your time and energy.

The returns on this specific investment is infinite. All you have to do is have a mindset of discipline, confidence and resilience to begin.

What Can You Invest In Without Money?

You don’t necessarily need money to invest in something. People invest their time and energy into things they want to see grow and become better.

The biggest investment you can ever make in your life, is investing in yourself.

Yes, you! There is something that you enjoy doing or want to know more about – this is what you invest in. You put forth extra effort and stay up late because you want to see it develop into something more.

Throughout that process, you are learning and building yourself into a valuable resource. You are investing the time and energy it takes to become an unstoppable version of yourself.

How do you invest in yourself?

Know what you want to do. What are you good at? Is there something you do everyday, flawlessly, that is hard for others? There is something you’re awesome at. If you’re not, you can become awesome at it. Know what you want to do (or have an idea) and be clear on it. Some people get caught up in the idea of knowing and they forget to take action, but the process doesn’t stop there.
Read and research. Learning never stops. You can always read and discover something you didn’t know and apply it to your life. It doesn’t take money – you can do research on the internet or listen to a lecture full of gems. Have an open mind when it comes to new information. Improvements can always be made.
Develop strong habits. Habits create your identity. Routines put those habits into practice. It’s good to be spontaneous, but habits must be in place to promote productivity. No one is spontaneously successful. Constructive habits and skills will increase your personal value.

Make Time For Your Personal Investment

Most of us are looking for ways to impress other people so we can get a job, be in a certain circle or get to the next level. We do things to gain attention from other people, as opposed to building ourselves.

When you invest your time and energy into others, it can be a disappointment. They may not see your significance and dismiss it, without a thought. You’re at their mercy.

Now you’re stuck, trying to figure out who to impress next so you can move on. Instead of making other people see your value, see the value in yourself. Why not attempt to put your future into your own hands?

Invest in yourself. Benefit yourself before you give your benefit away to others. When you invest in yourself, you open up doors to new possibilities and endless opportunities. It also gives you the highest advantage of profiting from your own skills, first.

The investment that you make in yourself is priceless. You are the best investment that you could ever make and no one can take that away. Stocks and real estate will go up and down on a whim, but the constant investment you make in yourself will allow you to grow in many ways throughout life.

#BeGoalden

The Art of Rising

We all have potential -it’s there. There’s always an option, if we choose to use it. When we are faced with that opportunity, what do we do? Walk away, ignore it or embrace it?

Throughout life, we experience different situations and circumstances. Some situations and circumstances may be similar, but for the most part, no two are alike. Either you do the right thing or make the best choice.

Your decision should always involve moving forward (and doing the right thing). Sometimes, you get stuck – it seems too hard to do it the right way or it may cause you to have to start over.

Be a helium balloon. Practice the art of rising. It’s a great habit to develop and will keep you on the path of daily improvement.

Rise to the occasion. If you have an opportunity to do something different, make the attempt to do it. Backing away only enhances your ability to be more stubborn and stagnant. When you’re stubborn and stagnant, nothing happens. You’re here to live life and to experience the best of it, not to watch it pass by and regret it later. After you try it, if the opportunity is not for you, at least you know from experience.
It’s your fault if you stay down. Life happens. None of us likes to be knocked down, especially when we’re in a good place. Things can happen out of your control, but it’s not a sign to give up. When life knocks you down, your job is to get back up – not to get comfortable and stay there. If you don’t do anything to improve your situation, it’s your fault. Use your resources to get to where you want to be.
Rise everyday. Allow growth in your life. Aspire to something greater than you are now. Make it a daily practice to do better than yesterday. Be a better person and improve upon yourself on a regular basis.

The art of rising contributes to your personal progress. It forces you to be responsible for your own life. Too many times, we leave it up to others to guide and control how we live. Why let someone else write the book on your life?

Step up your game and play your part. Stop allowing others to determine your fate, just because it happened that way to someone else. You’re not someone else, you are a person who continuously bounces back, like a helium balloon!

Rise. Create and follow the path for your life. The fault isn’t in falling down – the fault is in staying down and not rising.

#BeGoalden

The Defensive Mind

Say Yes

Whenever an opportunity arises, the first thing you say is ‘no.’ What if you said ‘yes’ for a change? It may be a little more work or a bit of a learning curve, but what challenges you, grows you. We are not meant to stay in one position all of our lives.

Of course, having a knee-jerk reaction to questions that are dangerous is good. If someone asks if you want to go swimming with sharks, ‘no’ might not be a bad answer, unless that’s something you’ve always wanted to do.

The defensive mind is activated out of fear. Change can be scary, but again, it promotes growth. When you don’t know what to expect, fear takes over your mind. This is how fear dominates your every move.

Saying ‘no’ to everything eliminates your chances of trying new things. If you do something new, you may actually like it. You’re selling yourself short when you keep saying ‘no.’

Fear will have you going to work everyday and coming home, with no life to live in between. It will become the worst friend you’ve ever had because it doesn’t allow you to develop yourself. It’s like a jealous lover who wants to keep you all to themselves.

You don’t always have to do the same thing over and over. Find something that you’ve always wanted to do and look into it in your spare time. Expand your mind and meet new people with the same interests along the way.

Take Your Chances

The next time someone asks a question, take yourself off of autopilot and think for a second. If it won’t hurt you, take a chance and say ‘yes.’ The only thing that could happen is you don’t like it, or, it doesn’t work out. You won’t ever have to do it again.

Then again, something amazing could happen. If that’s the case, imagine how much it could help you improve and develop your skills. This could lead to many other chances and could thrust your side hustle into overdrive! But, you’ll never know until you take that chance first.

People who are set on saying ‘no’ will live to regret that they never took a chance on those missed opportunities. There’s nothing like regret. You can’t go back in life and do it over. Take your chances and know the outcome, as opposed to wondering what would have happened if you did.

Also, it takes courage to get out of a defensive mindset. When you’re used to people around you running away from opportunities, you will do the same. Think for yourself and respond how you want to respond. Just because it didn’t work out for someone else, doesn’t mean it won’t work out for you. Don’t let that negativity seep into your mindset.

This is your life, not theirs. You are in control of how and what you think. Be the leader. Be the example that shows others that it’s okay to try new things. You may be scared, but you’re putting your best foot forward and doing it anyway!

How To Get Over The Defensive Mind

Don’t look to others for confidence – that has to come from you and your mindset. They already have a pessimistic outlook on everything. When you go against the norm and do something different, you are inviting favorable circumstances to come to you.

You never know what you could be missing. When everyone else says ‘no’ and you say ‘yes,’ opportunity may be looking for you.

As you can see, it is very easy to fall into the trap of having a defensive mind. Don’t follow the crowd and do what everyone else does, because you may miss out. Even if nothing happened, you won’t have to wonder about it.

Take some time to ponder before you automatically say ‘no.’ It will help you overcome your fear of the unknown, build your courage muscle and help you grow into a better person. Your job is to use as many resources as you can, to become the best you in your life.

This means managing your mindset and overcoming fear in order to move forward. Don’t allow weak influences to stop you. You must do this for yourself, which means you have to reprogram your mind and create the new, unstoppable you.

Excerpt from: “Help! I’m Stuck: How To Manage Your Mind, Defeat Distractions and Create Confidence,” Book 2 by S.R. Roberts. Edited for length.