mindset Archives - Page 16 of 18

Don’t Depend On Others To Give You Praise

Since childhood, we’ve been accustomed to receiving compliments and praise from others. If we did well in school, our teacher would applaud us. When we do well at work, we may receive an award or a promotion.

Receiving praise feels good. It’s a positive approval of our behavior and gives us a sense of acceptance.

What happens if we don’t get the recognition we deserve? Should everyone expect to be acknowledged for their hard work? Does it change your approach towards your goal?

Is Praise Necessary?

Although it’s not necessary, it’s good practice to give others compliments and to let them know when their work is appreciated. A positive environment encourages positive interaction of creation and ideas.

As we become older, the compliments and appreciation are almost nonexistent. It’s noticed, but it’s not expressed verbally. Everyone becomes wrapped up in their own world and we sometimes forget to speak on one another’s value.

When No One Praises You

Instead of reacting angrily or being disappointed because someone didn’t recognize our efforts, we should give ourselves praise.

Depending on others to encourage you or acknowledge your work can negatively affect you. If you don’t receive praise, you may begin to second guess yourself, or even react by sabotaging your own work.

Kids will act out if they aren’t recognized. As adults, we stop making progress by getting caught up in our feelings.

This weak behavior doesn’t affect the person you’re looking to praise you, it affects you. You shouldn’t stop being your best, just because someone didn’t compliment your efforts or approve what you do.

Praise Yourself

There will be times when no one will give you the praise you deserve. It’s your job to keep making progress. Continue to do your best, because you never know who is watching. Someone may give you an opportunity that may advance you to another level.

Give yourself praise. Acknowledge your own hard work and efforts. Never wait on someone else’s approval or recognition. You can compliment your own achievements.

Empower yourself by feeling good about your own work – there’s nothing wrong with having self-confidence! Don’t wait on somebody else to give you approval, approve yourself!

Self-Confidence

We’ve been taught that it’s not nice to have strong positive feelings of yourself, but there is a difference between arrogance and self-confidence. Being arrogant is when you express an exaggerated opinion of yourself to be accepted. Self-confidence is walking in your own courage and determination, without needing anyone’s approval.

Being sure of yourself is the foundation of your self-esteem. Compliments and praise are a great way to start off as kids, but as adults, we must realize that it’s our responsibility to find our own certainty.

Take back your power and know the greatness that is inside of you! Always stand in your strength and continue to make progress, even when no one is giving you praise.

#BeGoalden

Let Me Tell You How Great You Are!

You are one of the most awesome people in the world!

When something doesn’t work out, you learn what went wrong and make improvements.

When someone says something bad about you, you know they are just speaking on their own insecurities.

When an unexpected obstacle comes up, you handle it calmly and with confidence!

When you’re stuck in traffic, you listen to an uplifting podcast or inspirational music.

When someone is upset, you patiently take the time to listen.

When you pass someone, you give them a glowing compliment.

When you see someone who could use some help, you offer a hand.

When you’re out and about, you perform a random act of kindness.

When you see a child, you tell them how smart they are.

When you’re worn down, you take care of yourself right away (self-care).

When you feel tired, you always do one more.

When your eyes meet with a stranger’s, you give a warm smile.

When something seems difficult to do, you know you can do it!

You are considerate and you keep your promises.

You are kind to yourself, as well as others.

You don’t allow time to feel sorry for yourself.

You see the bright side of every situation.

You bet on yourself, because you believe in yourself.

You take the good with the bad and make lemonade.

Your time is valuable because you know your potential.

Most of all, you make everyone around you better!

You’re always working at becoming a better you, everyday!

#BeGoalden

To Hold Yourself Accountable, You Only Need 1 Thing

Personal accountability is when you hold your actions to the highest standard. Your desire for success pushes you to hold yourself accountable. You need no one to remind or tell you what to do, in order to become a person of excellence.

If you don’t hold yourself accountable for your actions, who is holding you accountable? Does it make sense that someone else is responsible for what you do?

Your ‘Accountability Partner’

Whenever people begin something new, accountability partners always come into play. Does it help? It might, but at the same time, we’re all adults.

Let’s say you have an exercise partner and you hold each other accountable for exercising 5 days a week. The agreement is made and you begin.

Everything starts out fine and then, one day, your partner says she had a very hard day and she just can’t do it. You let her off the hook, just because she asked.

This becomes a habit for the both of you, because if you let her off the hook one day, now, she owes you the same privilege. Before you know it, 5 days a week has shrunk down to once a week.

That Didn’t Work

Now, you’re both still out of shape and talking about getting it together. It doesn’t work that way.

When you have an accountability partner, the point is for the other person to hold your feet to the fire, not to let you get away with silly excuses.

This is where a change needs to happen. If you don’t trust anyone else, TRUST YOURSELF. Have the courage to perform and get the desired results that you want.

The Disconnect

The excuse that we tell the most is, “I don’t have time,” or “I don’t feel like it.”

These may seem like valid excuses, but it’s not enough reason to stop, altogether.

Time is always there. If you’re unable to find time within your regular day, get up earlier or stay up later. Problem solved.

On the other hand, you control your emotions and your mind. There are plenty of times where you won’t ‘feel like’ doing something, but you need to get up and break through that wall.

We’ve become out of shape because we don’t ‘feel like’ exercising. We’ve become accustomed to instant gratification because we don’t ‘feel like’ waiting that long.

Whatever the case may be, you are worthy of self-improvement! Stop being lazy and push that train!

The 1 Thing You Need to Hold Yourself Accountable…

All you need to hold yourself accountable is a mirror. If you don’t have a mirror (because I can hear someone saying, “what if I don’t have a mirror?”), take a selfie.

Hold yourself accountable. Don’t leave your personal progress in someone else’s hands. If you didn’t exercise today, you let yourself down!

It’s an entirely different story when you let yourself down. If I don’t exercise when I’m supposed to, it nags my mind for the rest of the day.

If someone asks me, “How was your run?” I give them some lousy excuse as to why I didn’t do it. They go on about their day, without thinking twice about it.

I go on with my day and that excuse constantly replays in the back of mind. The time I spent debating if I should exercise, I could’ve done it already.

I know that feeling and I don’t like it. Therefore, I push myself to do it and I feel so much better after I’m done and I can move on with a clear and productive mind for the rest of the day.

Hold Yourself Accountable

Hold yourself accountable. Other people will let you down. They’re not as concerned about your success as you are.

Personal accountability is where you connect with your true self. If you want that result, like you say you do, you’ll meet the challenge of making it happen.

No excuse will stop you from achieving your desired result.

#BeGoalden

3 Negative Thought Patterns You Need To Avoid, Now!

There are 3 thought patterns that are certain to happen, when you are on the journey to self-improvement. No matter how hard you try to focus and stay on your path, they’ll pop up, just to keep you from advancing to the next level.

If you know what these patterns are, it’s easier to recognize them when they appear. Therefore, you can manage them, accordingly.

Thought Patterns To Break

You can’t change the past. The only time you should look in the past is to see how far you’ve come. The fact that you’ve overcome those obstacles is something to be very proud of. Hindsight is 20/20 – we all can look back and see how we could have done things better, but don’t get stuck there. Thinking about how things would’ve turned out different if you had finished college or married the nerd and not the bad boy, doesn’t help you right now. It’s impossible to change that. The only thing you can do now is move on and make better decisions that your future self will thank you for.
It’s not over until you quit. You are not a loser if you encounter a challenge. These things will happen and in order to breakthrough, you need to know how to handle them effectively. You only fail when you quit. How many times have we seen the scenario of the last second, game-winning shot? The impossible can happen when you don’t give up. Even if it doesn’t turn out in your favor, take it as a lesson and apply it the next time around. It’s not over until you say it’s over. Keep finding solutions and moving forward.
Other people’s judgment of you isn’t who you are. People who are jealous will show their insecurities by putting them on you. If they think they’re ugly, they’ll call you ugly. If they think they can’t succeed, they’ll call you a failure. Allowing that negativity to penetrate your mind will cause harm. When you hear someone being judgmental, discard it immediately. Don’t let it float around in your head because, eventually, you’ll start to believe it. Take compliments, but reject judgment.

What Do You Think, Literally?

Be protective of your mental state. The 3 things mentioned above can easily hijack the progress of your goal, so be aware.

Your environment is very important. Create the habit of having positive thoughts and people around you. It’s hard to remain positive, but it’s easy to slip into being negative.

Always read and listen to motivational platforms (blogs, podcast, videos, etc). Make your immediate surroundings full of encouragement and inspiration. Take care of your mindset to the point where it won’t be disturbed by anything distracting.

You may not be in control of what is around you at all times, but you are in control of your mind and how you use it. Your thoughts will create your future, so defend it to the fullest.

#BeGoalden

Are You a Worrier Or A Warrior?

There’s obviously a difference between a worrier and a warrior – warriors are powerful and disciplined. Worriers are doubtful and full of fear. What separates a warrior from a worrier?

A worrier is what most people default to. They worry when they don’t know what else to do. It can be very stressful, but they’re the one who creates the stress.

On the other hand, a warrior is steadfast and strong. Warriors control the situation, not the other way around.

Worriers Are Common

Worriers are uneasy. When things go wrong, they don’t know what to do. They react to situations, as opposed to thoughtfully responding to them.

People who worry, react and make things worse. Instead of solving the problem, they add their own drama to it and magically place the focus on themselves.

Worriers create fear and doubt, naturally.

The only thing that a worrier does successfully, is waste time. They are not ready or prepared to handle tense circumstances. Everything is, “Oh, no!” and “What if (insert negative thought here)?”

Not only do worriers cause anxiety for themselves, they create an unsettling environment. It’s hard to change the energy from negative to positive, but it’s very easy to drag it from positive to negative. That’s what they do.

Worriers stop at no, but that’s where a warrior begins.

Signs of a Warrior

Warriors are people of strength, mentally and physically. No matter what happens, they will figure it out and make it work.

Unlike worriers, warriors bring peace to a situation. If they find themselves in a disturbing scenario, they have the ability to calm things down and develop a strategy to move forward.

Warriors turn their problems into challenges.

The best characteristic about a warrior is that they have discipline. They have the discipline to believe in themselves and to not make excuses. They have the discipline to feed their fears and starve their doubts.

Warriors can motivate and inspire the people around them. Others depend on them to lead and win in every situation. If they don’t win, they don’t accept defeat. They will find their fault, so they can do better next time around.

Being a warrior is a daily practice. It’s not something you’re lucky to be born with – it takes effort and constant development.

Today, being a worrier is common in our society. We have the option to be either one, but some of us don’t have the desire to be a warrior. We’d rather have someone else save us and hope things get better.

Making the impossible happen is what sets the warrior apart from the worrier. In the warrior’s mindset, wanting better leads to doing better.

You have a choice – will you be a worrier or a warrior?

#BeGoalden

Focus On The Process, Not The Result

When we set our goals, our mind automatically starts to focus on the end result, but the biggest part is figuring out how to hit the target and win.

Twenty years ago, it was a challenge to find an abundance of successful people. They were there, but our access was limited to television, radio and the newspaper.

Today, we can see success everywhere, at anytime. The internet has opened up many avenues for more people to achieve their dreams. Even people who aren’t successful can pretend like they are on social media.

Instant Gratification

This leads to ‘short-cut’ thinking. We’re so flooded with images of people who’ve reached their goals (or at least they look like they did), we begin to think that it’s an easy process.

Although it looks like it, the path to your goal isn’t easy and that’s not to discourage you. Anything worth doing will take hard work and consistency, but you must concentrate on the process.

Does anybody remember when Beyonce started out with Girls Tyme? No, we only recognized her when she came on the scene with Destiny’s Child. Prior to that, she was practicing and working her little heart out to be who she is today.

Technology has made everything so easy, we expect the goal to happen without going through the process. Fast food, texting, all kinds of apps – it’s designed to make life more convenient, but there’s one thing that won’t give you that instant gratification.

Why Is This Taking So Long?

When you have a goal to reach, it will take months or even years before you will see the end result.

Envisioning the end result is good to do. It gives you something to see in your mind as you work on your plan.

The trick is, you must focus on the plan, not the result. You can focus on the result all day long, but nothing will happen. You must focus on the plan that will get you there.

The plan is what needs to be figured out and adjusted on a regular basis. Things change and you have to be flexible enough to create solutions to those challenges.

No One Path Is Alike

There are no two paths alike, that will achieve the same goal. There may be an overall map that will carry you in the right direction, but as far as an exact path that we all can take and experience the same success, that simply doesn’t exist.

Everyone has to figure it out for themselves. This is why you focus on the path, because is will change. Life happens and you may have to rearrange what you are doing to accommodate your circumstances.

It’s important to stay open-minded because you never know who will be able to assist you. Do different things and take risks and see where it leads.

Envision your result, but focus on the process.

Hoping that you will succeed won’t work. Wishing someone will let you tag along won’t work. Those are distractions and the best way to avoid them is to buckle down and focus on your process.

While your goal won’t change, the path to get there will change many times. It will take mental and physical energy to take on this effort and to do your best. You must be ready and willing on all fronts to encounter your journey.

Don’t let time become a factor. Time is always there, it just depends on how you plan to use it to your advantage. As they say, it takes years to become an overnight success.

Be flexible, make adjustments and be persistent. Know that it will take time, discipline and consistency. People won’t see how hard you are working now, but they will definitely realize, once you’ve reached your goal and become successful.

#BeGoalden

How To Activate Your Future In 4 Easy Steps

How do you begin to build your future? You know what your goal is, but how do you make it, so it comes to life?

Goals are a great way to start your life’s plan. Your future is what you make it. The key thing is to be clear on exactly what you want.

Do you want to be a doctor or do you want to be the top doctor in the southeast? Do you want to be a ballerina or do you want to be the best ballerina, with the most appearances in ballerina history?

It may seem silly at first, but this is how you create your future. It won’t just happen on it’s own – you must be specific and deliberate with your thoughts.

Activate Your Future, Now!

Have a goal. The very first thing you need is a goal that you would like to accomplish. There are many people who haven’t even thought about what they want to do with their life – they’re just going with the flow, hoping for a piece of someone else’s success. This is the starting point. What would you like to do in the future that would give you satisfaction everyday?
Get specific. It’s not enough to want to be successful or to make a lot of money. Think of what you would like to do and how well you want to do it. If you want to be a doctor, what kind of doctor? Where would you like to work? Would you like to volunteer in that field? Don’t be afraid to fill in the details.
Take responsibility for your goal. You’ve figured out what you want to do and all of the details. Now, the responsibility is yours. Do the research and create a plan that will get you where you need to be. Whether it gets hard or it falls apart, be responsible and take care of it. Consider what needs to be done and move on it.
Do the work. The most important step is to do the work. Don’t let anybody’s judgment or any type of procrastination get in your way. After you plan your work, you must work your plan. Make the decision to do what needs to be done and don’t stop until you meet your end result.

Win The Battle, Win The War

Know that there will be obstacles and challenges throughout your journey. This is to be expected, but you must work through them. Take it step by step and focus on what’s in front of you. It’s all a part of the process.

Do the things that will push you towards starting. Be definite, intentional and take action. Commit to your daily growth. Everyday, tell yourself that you will be the best foot doctor in the southeast region of the country and don’t stop until you are!

Decide what you want to be and go out and create it – your future is yours to shape. Believe in yourself and trust the process. Nothing can stop you from achieving the life of your dreams.

#BeGoalden

4 Tips On How To Take Constructive Criticism

It’s not something everyone enjoys. Constructive criticism is meant to help us become better, but sometimes, we don’t know how to put our feelings aside and effectively listen.

Constructive criticism is when some tells you how you can do something better or more accurate. It’s not meant to hurt your feelings or insult you, but that’s how we take it.

Most people mean well when they tell us how we can improve, but it’s difficult to accept when they actually talk about it. If someone is willing to help by making valuable suggestions, if would serve you well to listen and give it a shot.

Constructive criticism is not meant for you to feel bad. It’s constructive, meaning, it’s meant to be helpful. No one is making fun of you. Listen with the intent to enhance your skills and learn something new.
Put your ego aside. Your ego will get in the way of your success if you don’t have it under control. Everyone is not after you in the wrong way. Break down your wall and genuinely observe what is being said. Be interested in how you can become more effective and productive with your work.
Stop being defensive. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Our first reaction is to get angry, because it’s embarrassing to listen to someone tell you about yourself. If it’s someone you know who means well, be open. Receive it without becoming emotional and defensive.
Realize that it’s to help you. If it’s valuable, take it. If not, you don’t have to do it. Constructive criticism is for your consideration. It’s to be useful and promote progress. If you decide to try it, it could be to your benefit. If it doesn’t, you won’t have to do it again.

If you’re the one giving constructive criticism, know that it’s hard for the other person to acknowledge. There’s a way to break down what you’re saying in a positive light. Never speak with a condescending tone – let them know you’re on their side and want to see them do well.

Giving or receiving, constructive criticism is a hard thing to do. It’s normal for people to feel like they’re already doing things correctly, so it can be hard to take. Just know that everyone is not out to be negative or make you look bad. If you’re in the right environment, people will want to help you be the best that you can be. Graciously accept it and use it to your advantage.

#BeGoalden

Move To Improve

We let so many thoughts scare us…

it needs to be perfect
it’s not the right time
what if they don’t like it
what if I fail

Then, there’s another level. We make situational excuses…

I’ll start when I get paid
it rained
I have to do ‘A’ before I do ‘B’
Little Billy got sick

What are we afraid of? It’s not that we’re really busy – it’s that we’re afraid to actually do.

People who really go after what’s in their heads are special. They don’t stop to overthink and analyze how crazy it might seem. They aren’t afraid of the voices in their head. They just go and succeed and keep right on going.

Everyday, try to have that mindset. Commit to doing something everyday, even when it sucks. If you put in the daily effort, it can’t get any worse – it has to get better.

So, whatever it is that you want to do, please don’t worry about the outcome or what other people will think. That is exactly what stops you.

“Be like a computer. Respond with results, not excuses.”
The Goalden Lady

Google, or any other search engine, has never given an excuse when you use it to find answers or research.

Creating excuses is a habit that has been unconsciously passed down from generation to generation, across the world. When someone asks you something, instead of telling them the truth, your mind automatically looks for an excuse. It has spilled into so many other areas of our lives, we accept it without thinking.

We treat procrastination the same way. It’s used so much, we believe it. We’re making ourselves intellectually soft. No one wants to think or do anymore.

It’s going to be hard to quit, but I challenge everyone to catch yourself when you make an excuse. Catch yourself when you procrastinate. Don’t let yourself off the hook. Hold yourself accountable.

What do you do instead?

You find the mental power within you and push through. You do it. Perform. Act. Create. Operate. Be intentional and start. Be intentional and finish. It doesn’t have to be big, just begin. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Start by making small changes. You don’t have to start drinking 8 glasses a day, start with 2. You don’t have to start by running a 5k, start with a walk in the neighborhood. You don’t have to start with an expensive date with balloons and roses, start with a kind word and a smile.

Build your foundation. Work your way up to the results you want to obtain. Often times, we see what we want and it overwhelms us because we don’t know how to start – all we see is the end result. Start small and keep building, day by day.

Also, you will have to kill the negative chatter in your head, because that’s also stopping you. Your will to improve has to start in your mind.

Tell yourself how great you are. Tell yourself that you have the ability to do anything. Tell yourself that no matter how difficult it gets, you will find a way. Tell yourself these things, because it’s true.

You’ll even fall, sometimes. That’s okay, just remember to get up. There will be times where it hurts, but give it the time it needs, then keep going.

It’s going to be hard. You’re going to want to give up. You’ll make even more excuses because that’s easy. Change is hard. As long as you have breath in your body, believe that you can do it.

You won’t improve by doing the same thing – at some point, you’ll need to upgrade your game. Do something positive, something that will push you towards a greater situation, to the next level – something different.

It sounds so simple, but it’s one of the most hardest things in the world for people to do.

Take action and move.

#BeGoalden

Are You Working Against Yourself?

We all encounter distractions and nonsense on a daily basis. Whether it’s at work, on TV or on social media, it’s always there, fighting for our attention.

As a result, we’ve become immune to it. It’s doesn’t present a challenge to us any more because we’re so used to it. Becoming used to it has given us permission to just deal with it and to allow it into our minds.

Here are a few ways you’re working against yourself and how you can work towards doing better.

You have your notifications on. When you’re working, your attention is supposed to be focused on what’s in front of you, 100%. As soon as you hear a ‘ting’, you look up to see who or what it’s about. Someone just posted another funny cat video. Now, your attention is broken and it will take a considerable amount of time to get it back. Turn off those notifications! It can wait until you’re done.
You overindulge yourself with information. Yes, it is critical to do research and collect information for what you’re doing, but sometimes, it can be too much. If you want to learn how to sew, do enough research to start. You don’t have to watch 50 videos and read 50 websites to take action. Look up the necessary information and go out and do it! Getting caught up in being a professional researcher only allows for procrastination and when you procrastinate, you don’t start!
You leave your mind open to anything. Your mindset is the most important asset you own. It’s good to have an open mind, but determine what is useful and what needs to go. Stop letting garbage enter your mind. It could be in the form of gossip, reality TV, social media, etc. Control what goes into your mind. If you plant good seeds, they will grow. If you plant bad seeds, they will also grow (weeds), but which would you prefer? It affects your attitude and your day when you consume garbage. Take in some motivational videos, get around good people and have meaningful conversations.
You hit snooze every morning. Just wake up. Why do we fight waking up every single morning? That’s the first struggle of many throughout the day. Whenever you hit the snooze button, you never get more sleep. Figure out whether an earlier bedtime would help, a cold shower or a cleaner diet, but whatever it is, see how you can avoid that daily battle. It sets the tone for the rest of the day and it allows for a stressful start. It’s easier said than done, but it shouldn’t be overlooked. Develop a better routine to greeting your day.

Not only will these things cause you to work against yourself, they cause anxiety, as well. You can blame it on other factors, but you have power over what you do and how you do it. Even if you’re unable to control your environment, you can still make adjustments. Don’t just sit there and take it.

Fighting against yourself and being counterproductive is all on you. Decide what goes into your mind, decide to take action and decide to work fully focused. You can control all of these things. All it takes is a present mindset and intentional action. You can do it!

#BeGoalden