goals Archives - Page 4 of 12

Failing Is A Sure Way To Learn

People often take failing as a negative thing. Whenever you attempt to do something and it doesn’t work out, there’s no need to quit – the failure is guiding you in the right direction.

Yes, there are some instances where it’s time to hang it up and do something else, but for the most part, people are afraid. Your perspective has a lot to do with how you think of failing.

The Feeling of Failing

What happens to some of us when we fail on the first or second time we do something? We stop. There’s no data collected, no statistics to consider or any additional information to dive into. It didn’t work, so we stop.

This is what holds most people back. If you knew that you were supposed to fail, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad when it happens. Somewhere in life, we begin to equate things not working out with failing and progress is halted.

We’ve been taught to feel embarrassed when we fail. Others say, “I told you so,” or “I knew it wouldn’t work – that was a waste of time“. These comments come from people who never attempt to do anything, so they tell you that you’re unable to do it, too.

All of this negativity can be so consuming to the point where you actually believe it. You have more naysayers than you have supporters.

The most important thing to remember is that failing is nothing more than learning and correcting your mistakes along the way. Failing is where growth happens.

Failing Is Learning

As Thomas Edison once said, he didn’t fail, he just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work. This is how confident we should be in the face of potential defeat.

It can be overwhelming when you’ve worked so hard on a project and it doesn’t work out the way you planned. Who wouldn’t feel bummed out about that? Shift your thinking – you know what doens’t work, so try another way until it does.

When pursuing your goals, know that 99% of the time, it won’t go right the very first try. This is a time to learn and become more aware of how things really should work.

Failing should force you to do more research and find better ways to put it all together – gather the data, the stats and the additional information. You should feel relentless in the pursuit of your results. It should feel like you’re that much closer to achieving your goal.

Edison kept going with his inventions and he found what worked. He basically failed his way to success. Don’t allow your perspective to be warped by what others say and think. Failing is a sure way to learning and becoming successful.

Bet On Yourself

In essence, failing is learning. The entire process shows you the ins and outs of what should be done and how. You’re a lot smarter in the end, than you were when you first started. Develop the habit of resilience and keep going.

Your goals may take one day, one month or one year to accomplish, but never give up. You are closer to your achievement than you think. Take this opportunity to believe and bet on yourself.

You’re way ahead of the person who didn’t start at all and even those who started, but gave up. The journey to success isn’t an easy one, but as long as you keep learning through failing, you will find your goal in the end.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Happiness Is Your Responsibility

Your happiness is in your control. Often times, we allow outside circumstances to direct how we feel throughout the day. We have the power to feel the way we want to feel, but sometimes, we give up that responsibility to someone else.

Being happy and having the right attitude takes conscious effort. You can easily go through life thinking of unfortunate things that have happened in the past and reliving it everyday, but you also have the ability to decide to be positive and move forward.

Find Your Happiness

The reason why so many of us aren’t happy is because we are waiting on someone, or some thing, to make us happy. “I’ll be happy when I’m married – I’ll be happy when I lose 10 pounds – I’ll be happy when I finish school.” Relying on an outside source to make you feel good will fail every time.

When you wake up in the morning, give yourself permission to feel joy. Yesterday may not have been a great day, but you don’t have to invite that feeling into the next day, or the day after that. Even if you need to address the same challenge today, go into it with a positive mindset, knowing you will overcome it.

Find happiness on your own. Make the decision that this day will be productive and fulfilling, because you will make it that way. If you made the attempt and it doesn’t work out, leave it where it is – don’t carry it over into the next day. Keep a good attitude, start again and work through it with confidence.

A Good Attitude Is Rewarding

Possessing a positive attitude is more beneficial than having a bad attitude. How many times have you received poor customer service, because that person had a negative vibe?

Everyone won’t be chipper and delightful all of the time, but by having a good attitude, you remain in control of your feelings. Just because someone else isn’t having such a good day, doesn’t mean that you should give in and mirror their emotions.

Having a positive attitude lights up a room – you never know who it could affect. People with bad attitudes expect others to participate in their negativity, but you could always walk away or change the direction of the conversation.

Who wants to be around a person who’s always gloomy? Keep your attitude at a positive level and don’t let others steal your happiness.

Distractions And Discipline

Distractions are out there, fighting for your attention. It could be in the form of watching the news, people gossiping, or chasing that new, shiny object.

Whatever the situation is, don’t let your attitude follow the various distractions you encounter everyday. There are pleasant distractions that can make your day, but when it takes away your concentration, it can lead down a different road.

Distractions are a form of control. Whenever you fall for a distraction, it has power over your demeanor. There’s no way to avoid all distractions, but you still have control over how you receive and react to them.

Practice being disciplined with your attitude. When something grabs your attention, your reaction is normally to go with it. Letting distractions control your feelings can bring about anxiety and stress. Instead, acknowledge it, have your feelings about it (if necessary) and get back to your happiness. There’s no need to ruin a good day, over a small disturbance.

Happiness Takes Practice

Having a positive attitude should be common practice in your life. Don’t let other people take away the joy you want to keep.

It can be a daily battle, but it becomes easier the more you do it. By making the effort and choosing to have a brighter perspective, you open yourself up to opportunities and handle challenges more effectively.

This doesn’t mean that the bad distractions will go away, it just means that you’re in a better position to manage them – again, you have the power. When you choose to be happy, instead of allowing some outside force to hijack your emotions, you become more positive and it catches on to other people around you.

We all have a choice – are we going to guide the day, or let the day guide us?

Always keep your happiness, a good attitude and a bright perspective.

#BeGoalden

Having Empathy Makes The World Better

Having empathy goes farther than getting temporary revenge, or becoming angry for the rest of the day. People will cut you off in traffic. Someone may have a hyper child in the doctor’s office. The cashier at the store was rude to you for no reason.

Are people doing these things to be mean? Is it up to you to bring it to their attention or call them out on it? Consider using empathy as a tool to keep calm and carry on.

What Is Empathy?

Empathy is the experience of the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another person. Instead of having a bad attitude right back at the other person, you understand where they are coming from and possibly why they did what they did.

When someone cuts you off in traffic, are they doing it just because they can, or are they in a rush to the hospital? Normally, we think of other people as being rude and obnoxious – they want things their way and they don’t care who they hurt in the process.

Having empathy allows you to make room for understanding. There’s no doubt that some people are just rude and obnoxious, but not everyone. Some people have a very good reason for speeding or breaking down at work. It’s not always the case, but let’s be more considerate before we judge and react.

Empathy Is Better Than Bitterness

One day, I was in the store with my mom and sister, in the checkout line. There was a lady in the front of us, rudely talking to the cashier. “If you didn’t want to be here, you shouldn’t have came to work! Your attitude is unacceptable!”

As we approached the cashier, we could see that she looked a mess, crying and going through the motions of ringing up our items. She didn’t greet us or look at us. She didn’t even tell us our total for us to pay.

As a child, I felt bad for her because she was obviously hurting and the lady before us didn’t help the situation by creating a distraction for others to see. My mom payed for our things and as we were leaving the store, the supervisor apologized to us.

“I’m sorry about that – she’s had a rough morning. She found out that someone in her family passed away.” That explains it all.

The cashier wasn’t being impolite or disrespectful on purpose. People handle grief differently – maybe she wanted to work to take her mind off of the death in her family. The lady before us didn’t help the situation by mouthing off and being rude.

Be Mindful Of Others

Make an attempt to be empathetic before judging. Yes, there are some people out there who do things just to show off or because they feel like it, but there are others out there who are dealing with more than we know.

The same way you want others to be considerate and have empathy for you, have the same consideration and empathy for others. Again, it’s not always the case that people have a good reason for doing something out of the ordinary, but it gives you peace for yourself, as opposed to being angry for the rest of the day.

Don’t waste your good energy, when you don’t know the whole story. It’s easy to judge, but it’s hard to have empathy. Let’s be more human to each other. People look for attention in the wrong ways – sometimes, all they need is for someone to understand and listen.

Be the example and show the world what true empathy looks like.

#TBT: Learning To Self-Educate

Once we graduate from school, most of us are glad to get out of the mundane, everyday cycle of sitting in a class, taking tests and doing homework.

Traditional school is the basis of your learning. It’s not perfect, but for the most part, it teaches you the fundamentals to get along in the world.

The path to education has changed the learning landscape now. Learning is no longer limited to a school building. Although this is the way we still provide education, it extends beyond that.

Learning For Yourself

The internet has changed the education game. Twenty years ago, you couldn’t go to school online or listen to an in-depth podcast on what you like to do. Sometimes, when you’re inside the change that’s happening in real time, it’s hard to realize the benefits around you.

It doesn’t take any effort to learn anything, today. Back then, you had to learn AT school or ON the job.

Today, you can learn anything from the internet. You can Google it, watch a YouTube video or listen to the podcast.

Somewhere in that little device, is the answer to your question.

You want to learn how to install a car engine? YouTube it. You want to repair your credit? Listen to a credit repair podcast. You need a little inspiration, motivation or you feel stuck? Go to the Goalden Lady website.

No matter what it is, the answer is accessible – it’s there and it’s free! Don’t limit yourself by being stubborn and doing it the old way. There are so many options and possibilities now, it’s ridiculous, but it’s ridiculously great!

Use The Advantage

If anything, the internet has made learning more interesting and fun. It’s beneficial to everyone, on all levels. The best thing we can do today is take advantage of it. Gone are the days where you have to call, sit and wait for someone’s help. Today, you can grow and make progress on your own.

Make a decision to open yourself up and take a chance at becoming better. Achieving your goals still takes hard work, discipline and focus on your part in order to see success. The path of action may not be easier, but having (and using) access to your resources gives you more of a head start.

Keep learning. Self-education is key. We are no longer confined to a ‘one way only’ system. You can do so much more with technology today. You have the power, literally, in your hands. Learn it and leverage it.

#BeGoalden

Focus On The Task, Avoid The Interruptions

Being able to focus in a world of ‘shiny objects’ is difficult to do these days. A ping here, a ding there – notifications have taken over our lives.

What if you could get back your focus and actually do what you really want to do? Distractions are convenient, but your focus must be intentional if you want to reach your goals.

Internet & Social Media

One thing you can do is turn off any notifications that you have on. There may be some that you need as a reminder, but for the most part, they are just a signal for your attention.

What happens as soon as you hear that chime? You stop what you’re doing and you put your focus on that thing. Whatever it is, it’s probably not that important, but you don’t want to miss anything. Everybody wants to be the first to get the breaking news.

Is it worth losing your focus over? What could be more important than working on your plan?

Like potato chips, you can’t eat just one. It snowballs into a full blown hour of scrolling social media and looking at celebrity gossip. This is what a pretty little sound does to your attention.

Discipline Your Focus

Secondly, you could simply build your discipline. You don’t have to look every time something happens. Distractions are all around us, but we choose to allow it to steal our concentration.

After your concentration is gone, it’s very hard to turn back and get on track. The best thing to do is to ignore it in the first place. Don’t take a peak, or even look for five minutes. Keep working away and finish what you started.

Practice staying in rhythm and locking in to what’s in front of you. The more you let a distraction interrupt your attention, the more you have to start over and build your momentum, again and again. Ultimately, nothing gets done.

Attention Seekers

Third, personal relationships can also deter your focus from your goals. People will demand your time and attention, just to make them feel good. Most times, they really don’t want much of anything or they just don’t have anything else to do. They simply want you to provide them with entertainment.

It’s okay to say no. Don’t be afraid to cut a conversation short if there’s something more important that you’d rather be doing. Wasting energy and focus leads to wasting time and we all know that you won’t get your time back.

Other times, people will cause drama to break your concentration in order to give them your attention. Some people actually crave attention and can’t live without it. It’s sad, but true. Don’t let that type of person become dependent upon you and take away your power.

Keep Your Focus In Check

When focusing, nothing should pull you away from your task. Make it a productive habit to ignore the distractions that fight for your attention. It’s hard to be successful when you have weak focus.

Turn off the notifications and practice the art of ignoring those pretty sounds. There’s no secret or trick to making it go away – just reinforce your mindset with discipline and you’ll be more productive!

#TBT: Be Grateful For The Little Things

Taking the time to be grateful for the simple things in our daily lives is something that we tend to overlook. Between work and distractions, it can be easy to forget.

By being mindful of the things you are grateful for, it lets you work from a place of sincerity. Instead of different things ticking you off, you allow it to pass, without it bothering you or disrupting your day.

5 Simple Things To Be Grateful For:

Breathing – It may seem simple, but someone didn’t get to wake up today, or they didn’t make it through the entire day. There are even people who have a hard time breathing on their own and depend on machines to assist them. Be thankful for the natural act of breathing.
Challenges – We normally call these ‘problems.’ Yes, you should be grateful for your challenges, as well. Challenges may be difficult, but they allow you to grow and give you confidence. If you can make it through a challenge, you can do anything.
Thoughts – Your thoughts give you the ability to be creative and think on your own. You can come to your own conclusions and set your own standards. Your thoughts are the blueprint to your life. As Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
Family and Friends – You may not like some of your family, or you may be at odd with some of your friends, but no matter what kind of relationship you have, they had a part in shaping you. You picked up some good habits and some bad habits – you learned what to do and what not to do. Observing them helped you to become who you are.
Freedom – Being free, you are able to do what you want to do. Unlike jail, you can wake up when you want to, go to work if you want to, or chase an opportunity whenever you feel like it. The choice is yours because you are free. There are some people in the world who are still being held captive against their will. Be grateful that you are free and have control over your own life.

Be Thankful For Life

We don’t know when our time is up, so make everyday count and be grateful for what you are able to do. Instead of putting things off for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes), be productive and do them today.

Wherever your life takes you, be thankful for the experience. Life has a way of making us feel like we’re the only ones when terrible things happen. There is someone who has been through your experience and you’re never the only one who is going through that situation.

Even when things aren’t going great, continue to fight. It’s hard, but be grateful that you are operating from a place of strength and will come out more powerful on the other side. The hard times are what make us who we are.

Always remember to be grateful in the good and the bad times. It all comes together to create the perfect you in the end.

#BeGoalden

How Commitment Leads To Action

The first thing you do before taking action on any goal is make a commitment. If you don’t consciously do this, more than likely, things will fall apart.

The following excerpt is from the book, “Turn On Your Light: Your Guide To Success-Building Habits.” It’s written by Betty Bootstrap, a contributor of the Goalden Lady.

Making the Commitment

It’s easy to think how everything will go in your mind. We make plans without considering obstacles and challenges being present. In order for your plans to see the light of day, you must make the commitment.

Making a commitment is scary for some people. The fact that you are doing something with all of your efforts and determination can be a big promise to take on. However, your plan won’t get done without it.

After you have an idea, what do you normally do? Nothing. The most we’ll do is think about it, shoot it down or halfway discuss it.

The most important thing to do after you have an idea is to take action. Do something that will signal to your mind that you are making a commitment.

Have you ever had an idea and someone else had the same idea? Maybe you’ve seen a product on TV or a service that has been implemented. It’s crazy because you had the same exact idea!

The only difference between you and the other person with the same idea, is that they took action.

While you were sitting there thinking about it, they made a commitment, pushed forward and developed ‘your’ idea.

This is why it’s critical to get in the habit of making a commitment. You never know where it will take you or how it will affect your life.

What Does Commitment Include?

Making a commitment can be challenging, especially if you’re not used to doing it. A lot of times, we just hold our ideas in our heads. Ideas are made to be explored and the only way to fully explore them is to make a commitment.

When you make a commitment, you are willing to make some sacrifices. Things like hanging out, watching TV or scrolling through social media for hours, will have to take a backseat.

Commitment entails focus, work and time. You’ll have to set aside time to do the work. There’s no such thing as not having enough time. This means weekends, after work and possibly before work.

Focus is a high priority while you’re doing your work. Being intentionally focused and present with what you’re doing is a good use of time. Being busy, just to be busy, is a waste of your time, so focus on your idea and bringing it to completion.

Side Effects

There are side effects to making a commitment. Your mind will tell you to do something else fun or to work on it later. These thoughts will come while you are focusing and building your idea. You are guiding your mind down a different path and it’s uncomfortable.

When it becomes uncomfortable, that’s when you have to focus harder and be more determined. That’s where your commitment lies. This is what pushes you through those negative thoughts.

Obstacles will occur. Don’t allow an obstacle to ruin your idea. There will be times where things will keep happening and it will make you think about giving up, because it’s not working out. Obstacles are what gives us answers and confidence (after we overcome them) to move on.

There will be everything in your way to make you give up your commitment. When you make a commitment, you are taking your life to the next level – something most people are afraid to do. Opportunities will open up and present themselves more often when you commit.

*Excerpt from, “Turn On Your Light: Your Guide To Success-Building Habits.”*

Are You A Sideline Spectator Or A Progressive Player?

Most people stand on the sidelines all of their lives, while they watch others accomplish their goals. Being afraid to own your life is not a place where you want to be stuck. Watching as a spectator has it’s advantages, but you shouldn’t be a spectator all of your life.

On the other hand, being a player also has it’s advantages. If you take consistent action and responsibility for your goal, you’ll win the game, and much more in the end.

Competition is good. It can be fun to watch other people compete towards a common goal, especially in sports. There’s nothing like cheering for a winning team.

The Spectator

As a spectator, you don’t have to experience what the players go through. You simply watch with excitement and relax as they attempt to outplay the other team and carry themselves to victory.

Spectators get to laugh, be angry, eat hot dogs and nachos, shout what’s on their minds to the players – it’s a very comfortable position to be in. There’s no expectation from anyone and you get to do what you want while watching the competition.

Being on the sidelines is a comfortable place to be. It’s easy to sit back and watch while someone else is doing all of the work. Wanting to win when you’re not putting in the work is as simple as it comes. It’s nice to be a spectator, but life shouldn’t stop there.

Sometimes, you wish you were out there playing, because you think you can do better than the players. This may be true, but in the end, you’re only a spectator. You come to witness the best players in the game.

The Players

The players are the ones who put in non-stop effort and daily habits to become the best at their sport. No one wants to perform poorly in front of a crowd of millions, so they practice and train constantly. We all want to be the best.

As a player, you will sacrifice time with family and friends. If you want to gain a competitive advantage, you will have to spend time by preparing on the field, watching game tapes and other things in order to produce a win for your fans and the team.

Not only do you have to have personal discipline in order to be the best, you also have to deal with your team mate’s attitude. Some are easy to work with and some are not – everyone is different. Everyone has to figure out a way to work together as a team, seamlessly.

On game day, you’re expected to do one thing: win. No one cares about the argument you had with your friend right before the game or the fact that you may not be feeling your best. You’re expected to be confident, show up and fight until you win.

You’ve been practicing for this one performance for months. If you don’t, it will definitely show in your performance. Even if you prepared beyond your ability and lose, some fans will hurl insults at you as if you are without emotion.

Are You A Spectator Or A Player?

It’s easy to sit on the sidelines of life. Anyone can point out the mistakes and see what should’ve been done from a safe distance. You can make heartless comments or sell your tickets if you don’t feel like going.

When you have no goal or some level of commitment to get you to the next level, you can complain, but at the same time, it’s in your control. You don’t have to sit on the sidelines and be a spectator. There are many other ways you can participate in the sport of life and win.

The players know they can get hurt, but they take a chance. They know they can lose, but they continue to do their best. They know their fans will make outrageous comments, but they ignore it and keep moving forward. They are aware of the personal sacrifices, but they see the bigger picture and follow through, anyway.

Spectators don’t have to experience any of what the players do. The people who take a chance on winning or losing, being disciplined and focused, putting in the necessary work in order to come out on top – those are the ones who succeed in life. They aren’t afraid of what others will say about them, nor will they quit if they fail.

Do you want to be a spectator or a player in life? The choice is yours.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Focus On Minding Your Own Business

Distractions are all around us and that’s where our focus goes. It’s hard to avoid – it’s on your phone, TV and at work. Some businesses are even built around capturing your attention with these distractions.

When we get caught up scrolling through social media and mindlessly watching TV (among other things), we lose ourselves. We think about everything else, except what we’re doing with our own lives.

What Do You Focus On?

Everyone has an opinion. We participate in conversations and listen to what’s happening around us and we automatically have our own version of what we would do in that situation.

Our minds are constantly working. It’s important to have productive discussions on different things, but you don’t have to give a response to everything, all the time.

We’re so used to putting our two cents in about other people’s business that we forget our own. Our focus becomes what we think about what’s going on outside of us, as opposed to what’s going on within ourselves.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

This is why celebrities are rich – we constantly give our attention to them, as if it really matters, and they continue to become bigger distractions.

Imagine if you didn’t pay attention to what the president said today. What if you didn’t pay attention to the latest scandal? If you didn’t pay attention to that celebrity and what happened on their yacht?

These are all distractions. When you give away your concentration to things that don’t affect you and your life, it’s a distraction. Yes, it’s entertaining on some level, but some of us forget that we have a life of our own to design.

Giving your attention to something is the same as giving away your energy. It takes energy to focus. Don’t give your energy away to someone or something else to the point where you neglect yourself. Your life deserves to have your energy and attention. Besides, who else is crafting your life, but you?

Be Your Own Distraction

Instead of worrying about why your favorite football player is not starting in the game, focus on why you haven’t started in your own game.

When you direct your focus on something other than yourself, it takes away from your goals. Time is of the essence and we must take responsibility for our actions daily.

This won’t happen if you’re continuously glued to your device. Let your own life be your distraction. Focus on your plan, so you can become successful like the people you are being distracted by.

Concentrate On Your Own Business

If it’s not going to change anything in your life, leave it alone. What Kim Kardashian wore yesterday shouldn’t dominate your thoughts and conversation. She’s not helping you in any way.

You can like her all you want to, but don’t forget about your life, by being wrapped up in her life. She already has her millions – do you have yours?

You are in control of where your attention goes, how you think and your path to greatness. Be confident enough to live the life of your dreams and stop watching others live the life of their dreams. You are worthy of your own focus and success.

#BeGoalden

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with it’s twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out,

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,

It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the victor’s cup,

And he learned too late when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far,

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –

It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

-Author Unknown

#BeGoalden