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One of the things people do is make things harder than they have to be. You can ask someone if they want a red hat or a blue hat and most people will go into deep thought. This not only causes anxiety, it makes you indecisive. Let’s continue with the red hat, blue hat example.

When asked to make a choice between the red or blue hat, some people will think about fashion. Does it match what I have on? What kind of material is it? Is it a church hat or an actual cap? Understandably, you want to make a good fashion choice. The thing is, this takes up mental energy and time.

What would happen if you didn’t make the right fashion choice? You would still have a hat to keep your head warm, as opposed to having a cold head. You would still keep your eyes shielded from the sun, as opposed to having the sun in your eyes. Or, you could just take it off and not wear it, if that makes you feel better. Everyone will still love you.

If you ask the same question to someone else, they may give their answer right away – all they want is a hat, no matter what color it is. The simplicity of the question doesn’t take them 10 minutes to decide. They know the value of their time, or, they simply don’t care about such little things. They would rather put that mental energy into deciding something more meaningful.

I’m not saying that every question should be a simple answer. There will be times where you actually need to put some thinking power into your decision. You want to save your mental energy for those times. Deciding between fries and tater tots is not a decision you want to spend time making. Coming up with a permanent strategy for the entire world to have access to clean water, that’s where you want to use your mind power.

In the grand scheme of things, it’s pretty small. There are more important tasks to conquer with your mind, than to entertain a simple ‘this or that’ question. Don’t make things harder than they are. Everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is to learn from your mistake and to keep going. So many people make the most simplest thing, seem so hard, and it’s not. Choose and move.

Don’t turn a yes or no, left or right, or an up or down question into a life-making decision. It’s not. In most cases, a simple question deserves a simple answer. You won’t knock the world off of it’s axis if you choose the wrong answer. If you do, just figure out how to get it back on track and move on.

People hang out in the street everyday. People watch television for hours. People complain about bills. People shout and argue with each other over simple things. People have a ‘whatever’ attitude. People wait for things to happen. This is normal for some people.

It’s not normal at all. Being average is not normal. Having no vision is not normal. Going where the wind blows is not normal. Being irresponsible is not normal. Being without a goal or dream is not normal. Giving up is not normal.

Just because ‘everyone’ is doing it, does not make it normal. When you do positive things that improve you, that’s normal. When you get up in the morning and map out your plan to have a successful day, that’s normal. When you choose being productive over being lazy, that’s normal. When you take responsibility for what happens, that’s normal. When you adapt, adjust and keep moving, that’s normal. When you don’t settle for less than your best, that’s normal.

In some parts, society has become so average, that it is being perceived as the ‘new’ normal. Success doesn’t happen at the average level. That’s why it is average. Everyone is comfortable with blending in and no one wants to stick out.

Being comfortable is dangerous. When you’re comfortable, you have no intentions on getting better. You go with the flow of what everyone else is doing. It’s satisfying, because you don’t bring attention to yourself by doing better. You may even come across some inspiration that moves you, but you dare not rock the boat, because everyone will see you. That is no way to live YOUR life.

There is no growth in being normal. Successful people aren’t normal, they’re extraordinary (EXTRA -ordinary). Everyone wants to be successful, but there’s work involved. There are risks to take. You have to do more than what average people do. The fear is there, but you are in control. It’s your choice.

Your normal takes on challenges. Your normal may fall, but it gets back up. Your normal is relentless. Your normal will make it happen. Your normal is persistent and consistent. Your normal offers no excuses. Your normal bypasses judgment. Your normal doesn’t let anything stop it. Your normal may even rest, but it won’t quit. Your normal is determined and disciplined.

That is your normal. #BeGoalden

Ideas can hit you at any moment. It’s important to remember what your thoughts were, especially if you need them. When you’re young, you can remember thoughts from years ago. When you get older, you can barely remember what you thought two minutes ago. It’s not as bad as it sounds, but it’s one of those things that happen, the older you become.

When you’re young, it seems like it’ll last forever. You don’t think about getting older, because everything is going fine. Your memory is good, you can eat just about anything without putting on a pound, and your body moves the way it should.

When you become older, you’ll walk into another room and say, “What did I come in here for?” It happens to the best of us. It’s nothing to be ashamed about, just some simple adjustments that need to be made.

One thing that really helps is writing things down. As long as I can remember, my father always had a pen and pad in his shirt pocket. He wrote down EVERYTHING. And he put a date on it. My siblings and I used to laugh, but now, I find myself carrying a pen and pad around, to write things down. You know what? It works!

I have many ideas that come to me at various moments (I’m an awesome thinker). I normally could remember what I thought about earlier in the afternoon, but it’s become somewhat of a struggle. Now, I just accept it and I’ve learned to write it down, so I can move on with my day. There have been times where I had an idea and I thought I could remember (because it was the greatest idea anyone ever had), only to let myself down when it’s time to remember what that idea was. Don’t let yourself down – write it down.

The hardest part is actually convincing yourself to buy a pen and pad, just so you can write things down. It seems nerdy at first, until you look back to see what you wrote. Then, you’ll thank yourself a million times for writing it down. Problem solved.

So, whatever you think, put to ink. It beats walking around, looking confused. All you have to do is write it down. The first time you walk into a room and forget why you’re there, don’t beat yourself up. It happens. Get a pen and pad and write it down.

You’ll thank me when you’re older.

Everyone used to pretend when they were kids. We’d pretend to be cops, robbers, a princess, superhero – anything that we thought we could be, we could become it in our minds. It wasn’t something we had to stop and think about; we just announced it to everyone and started to become what we wanted to be.

For that moment, you were who you imagined you could be. There was never a thought of, “Could I really be a great superhero?” or “Would I be a pretty princess?” No, there was none of that. Everyone said who they were going to be and ACTION! Everyone fell into their respective roles and played them successfully.

What happened? It seems that everyone was so sure of themselves as kids, but when we grow older and we can actually be what we pretended to be as kids, it’s a challenge.

As we get older, we experience things. Instead of going on what we know to be true, we listen to other people and their experiences. We give priority to what other people think over ourselves and what we think.

If we start to pretend again, maybe we won’t have an issue with our confidence, among other things. Pretend you are successful. Pretend you do have the cure. Pretend you can beat the odds. Whatever it is, just pretend you can. It all starts in the mind.

As kids, we didn’t think of the worse case scenario. We usually would think of how to go about doing what we wanted to do, with a bright outlook. As adults, we’ve allowed our minds to be poisoned by, “…but what if?” We must take back our minds and make everything possible again.

Great minds think of the good that could happen and the bad that could happen. Then, they move forward. A stagnant mind thinks of the good that could happen and the bad that could happen. Then, they do nothing, just because of the thought of something bad could possibly happen.

Have a great mind. Move forward, even if something bad could happen. There’s always a possibility that something bad won’t happen, but you won’t know until you do it. When something bad does happen, you’ve already thought out a solution to get over it. Have a great mind.

Don’t scare yourself out of your own life. It’s yours to design the way you see it. You deserve to be among millionaires, even if you just hit one million yesterday. You belong in the same show with other artists, even if you were discovered last week. When we achieve a goal, some of us think it’s something we don’t deserve or we can’t measure up to those that have already made it. You accomplished that goal, so you belong! If it helps, just PRETEND that you do belong and go with it!

Take advantage of the awesome feeling of success. Do more things and help more people. That’s what you do when you’ve reached the top. It’s not over. Set another goal to become even better. Keep pretending that you can be more and do magnificent things. When something bad happens, think through it and be greater.

Keep pretending. Because you do deserve it and you do belong.

Why do we care about what people think? We think everyone is looking at us, waiting to see how we’re going to mess up. Most of us are wired to care what other people think at an early age. It becomes an issue when we begin to care too much.

Yes, your family and friends think you are important and they care. They care enough to let you know when you don’t look right, or when you’re singing out of key. Although these are the people in your life that do matter, your life is still yours and you can make the decision not to care. If they want you to stop abusing drugs, that’s caring. If they don’t like the color shirt you’re wearing, that’s an opinion. You don’t have to care.

Wondering about what others will say, causes anxiety. That’s just extra unnecessary stress you don’t need in your life. If you’re okay with whatever it is, well, everyone else is going to have to be okay with it, too. Don’t overthink it. The world will go on.

Caring about every little thing is a distraction, but it’s a distraction that you enable. If you don’t care about it, it’s not a distraction. It’s only a distraction when you allow it to take over your mind in a negative way. If you decide not to care, you can move on and everyone will be fine.

Get out of your head – stop caring about what others will think or say. Be strong enough to take what they say and throw it away. When someone says something nice, it doesn’t bother you. When someone makes a comment about how ugly your shoes are, you go through an emotional rollercoaster. Don’t do that to yourself. As long as you like it, who cares?

Don’t allow other people’s judgments to bother you. Everyone has an opinion, but you don’t have to care. That’s the magic of it. YOU DON’T HAVE TO CARE. One person’s simple thought about you should not send you into a deep depression. Continue to do what you do – it’s for you, not for them. If you tried to impress everyone, your entire life would be a waste. Don’t live your life trying to please others – it’s impossible.

If you want to paint landscape pictures on tiny rocks, do it! If it’s your heart’s desire, don’t let anyone stop you. Some people are just jealous because they wish they could paint landscape pictures on tiny rocks, but they’re too busy thinking about what others will say.

Free yourself and don’t care. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, continue to explore your life and figure out what YOU like.

Whether we realize it or not, we set goals almost everyday. We may call it a plan, to-do list, or an arrangement, but it’s all a series of tasks to get an end result. Sometimes, it’s hard to get started on the bigger goals and dreams that we have for ourselves. Work and life may get in the way and we put it off for a more convenient time. Monday seems to be the day where everyone starts over. In that case, everyday should be Monday.

When we make plans to go on a diet or start a new business, most of us tend to put it off until Monday. I’m not sure what’s significant about Monday, but it just seems like a good starting point. Monday is the day where we come back from the weekend and we’re ready to get our week off to a great start (at least, in our minds). Then, something happens.

We find a tiny excuse that makes us put it off until the next Monday – not the next day, but the next Monday. That’s an entire week. Do you know what could have happened in an entire week? No, because we plan to start next Monday. The cycle repeats itself and you never actually get started.

Excuses are what makes us start again, on Monday.

“The dog doesn’t look too good – I’ll do my exercises next Monday.”
“She looked at me funny – I’ll do it next Monday.”
“I’m just tired – I’ll see how I feel next Monday.”

If your boss says to turn in a report on a certain day, you turn it in on that day, no matter what it takes. Let’s treat our goals and dreams the same way. The same effort we put into our jobs is the same (or more) effort we should put into our goals and dreams. Putting things off is like saying it’ll get done in five years.

Don’t allow tiny excuses to hold you back. Everyday is Monday. If something is truly not letting you start today, do it tomorrow. There’s nothing wrong with starting a diet on a Tuesday or any other day. Monday is not the magical starting point for success. Whether you start on a Wednesday or Saturday, success can happen at any time. Therefore, begin working on your goals and dreams, at anytime.

There’s never a perfect time to start, so just do it. To make it even easier, make everyday a Monday. This way, you will work on your goals and dreams everyday. After all, everyday is a new opportunity to start over and make things better.

Yes, everyday is Monday.

Everybody has challenges and issues. We do the best we can, with what we know and have. It’s not selfish to put yourself first because you are the star of your own life. It’s enough to handle your own situations, let alone, someone else’s. Don’t let other people’s hang-ups become yours.

When you’re working on your goal, there’s always someone there to make a sideways comment. Some people would let that stop them, because they don’t want to be seen as ‘selling out’ or someone who has ‘changed’. These people are putting their self-limiting beliefs on you. They want you to feel bad because they feel bad about not doing anything productive. Instead of bringing you down, they should level up.

Even when you are doing good with your work, someone will have an opinion. Don’t let that ONE opinion make you second guess what you’re doing. Get used to opinions. Be strong enough to block them out of your mind and keep moving. The only thing that matters is what you’re doing, so don’t let it throw you off. Keep your focus on you and not what they say.

Taking on other people’s issues does not help them. You may think you’re being helpful and your intentions may be genuine, but the truth is, everyone has to fight their own battles. When you take on someone else’s issues, you bring yourself into it emotionally and it’s not even yours to deal with. You begin to feel guilty because it didn’t turn out the way it was supposed to. They begin to depend on you whenever something happens. When it doesn’t work out, they blame you, but it’s not your issue.

It’s fine to be supportive, but at the same time, you have your own life to live. Don’t let other people’s hang-ups consume you. You have your own work to do. Everything that happens in your life is based on your decisions. No one controls your life and you don’t control anyone else’s life.

Again, it’s not being selfish, but realize that everyone is responsible for themselves. Being helpful and supportive is awesome, but you must draw the line somewhere. If you don’t, you’ll end up making someone else’s issue, your own. When you’re on an airplane, the emergency rule is to put your mask on first, THEN help others with their masks. You’re unable to help others if you don’t help yourself first.

DISCLAIMER: If you see a hungry child on the street, I’m not saying to pass them by and say, “It’s your issue, not mine.” By all means, help – it’s the human thing to do. This post is in reference to people who have made a career out of making others come to their rescue and those who put their responsibilities on others.

For those of you who have experience with three year olds, you know what it’s like to take them to the grocery store. If you’re walking across the store and there happens to be an open aisle – ZOOM! The child will miraculously break free from your grip and take off running down the empty aisle!

It never fails. In a 3 year old’s world, that aisle is so open and welcoming – it’s freedom! They look so happy and confused, as they quickly stumble down the never-ending path. Who cares if pasta’s on sale? This is my chance and I’m going to take it!

Where did that feeling of infinite motivation stop? We were all born with it, but somewhere along the way, we became adults. Adults have responsibilities. Adults don’t make time for “silly” dreams. Adults have bills to pay and jobs to rush to.

If we can change our thinking, there is a possibility that we can run down the aisle at the grocery store (so to speak). Yes, life is happening, but we do have a choice to pursue it during our off time. We can even change our lives into something enjoyable and satisfying.

Off time is the time we aren’t at work. For example, you come home, have dinner, watch television, and go to sleep. That’s it. Rinse and repeat, five days in a row.

It’s going to take a little energy and focus, but you don’t have to be caught in that hamster wheel. Television is used for entertainment, but if you could take at least one hour away from your TV time and work on your goal, you’ll be farther along than you were last week, or even yesterday.

Weekends are for fun and unplugging – we should take advantage of that time to unwind. At the same time, there’s a one or two hour block of time that can be used for building a better future for yourself and your family.

Once you get started, it’s like a domino effect. After a while, you’ll be working on your goal every night and on the weekend. In essence, you’ll be running down the grocery aisle, seeing new things and exploring more options.

Whatever it takes, make it happen. See the opportunities and run down the aisle. Who cares what others say? So what if they laugh? You take your chance and chase it like a 3 year old! You won’t regret it!

In the end, no one can catch a 3 year old. It’s impossible. If they hit a barrier, they quickly charge in another direction. We all should follow our goals and dreams the same way.

This is The Goalden Lady’s 100th post! At one point, 100 seemed so far off and unattainable. What did it take to get to this point? Now, it looks like something that could be easily done, but that’s because all of the posts have been written and dated. It didn’t look this way a year ago.

Doubt, fear, and judgment played a factor in the creation of The Goalden Lady (TGL). The idea of it was exciting, fun, and optimistic in the beginning. That’s how most thoughts start out – you think of how much you can do and the way it will have a positive effect on the world. Then, a little voice in your head says, “You think you can really do all of that?”

Not only does the little voice in your head sucks, but the people around you begin to tell you the same thing. Negativity is just so easy! You become consumed with worrying about what other people will think, the fear of starting, and the self-doubt that happens, courtesy of that little voice in your head. It’s a lot to get over.

This is what TGL is all about. We want you to get over the doubt, fear, and judgment that surrounds you everyday. Just because we post about it doesn’t mean we still don’t have those types of challenges – we all face them everyday. There will always be someone there to criticize your ideas and the awesome things you’re doing. Slay the dragon and push through.

One hundred may seem small to the blogger with a thousand posts, but even he/she had to start somewhere. One hundred means a lot to TGL because we faced our fears and kept moving forward and we’re still going. We will celebrate our achievement of this 100th post because we deserve it! No matter what anyone says or thinks, go ahead and celebrate your wins along the way. When you see what you can accomplish, it gives you fuel to keep going.

We would like to thank you all for reading and being a part of TGL. Remember to be positive, help somebody, and continue to grow into your greatness!

Here’s to another 100!

Being accountable for your actions is a huge responsibility. It is a useful characteristic that should be learned early, so that it can form into a habit as a young adult. Today, we hear people talk about having an accountability partner to help keep you on track for different tasks. The best accountability partner you can have, is yourself.

Accountability is holding yourself responsible for efforts and tasks that need to be done. This also closely coincides with responsibility. When you have something to do, it is your responsibility. Having an accountability partner may help, but what happens when they don’t hold you accountable? The ultimate obligation depends on you. You will suffer the consequences, not your accountability partner.

This is why having an accountability partner doesn’t always work. It’s best to hold yourself accountable and handle your own responsibilities. Others may help, but the final outcome rests on your shoulders.

People who do not hold themselves accountable will blame others for any and everything. It’s always someone else’s fault.

“I didn’t pay the bill because she didn’t remind me!”
“I didn’t know the assignment was due today – my teacher only mentioned it once!”
“I’m sorry officer, but I’m telling you, the fire hydrant wasn’t there when I was parking.”

If you didn’t do what was supposed to be done, own up to it. Don’t blame others for what you were supposed to do. Even if you didn’t get it done, accept the fact that you slipped up, and move on. Blaming others for your mistakes is a surefire way of holding yourself back. It gets you absolutely no where.

Having an accountability partner may work, but just to be on the safe side, hold yourself accountable. There are many apps and reminders on your cell phone to help you with this. Technology may be a better choice as an accountability partner (if you must have one) than another human, but it’s your choice to make.

When you hold yourself accountable, it shows maturity. Besides, you shouldn’t want to hold someone else responsible for what you’re supposed to do. It’s your life and you’re in control – no one else. By holding yourself accountable, you will be able to make more things happen and rise to your greatest potential!