Everybody has challenges and issues. We do the best we can, with what we know and have. It’s not selfish to put yourself first because you are the star of your own life. It’s enough to handle your own situations, let alone, someone else’s. Don’t let other people’s hang-ups become yours.
When you’re working on your goal, there’s always someone there to make a sideways comment. Some people would let that stop them, because they don’t want to be seen as ‘selling out’ or someone who has ‘changed’. These people are putting their self-limiting beliefs on you. They want you to feel bad because they feel bad about not doing anything productive. Instead of bringing you down, they should level up.
Even when you are doing good with your work, someone will have an opinion. Don’t let that ONE opinion make you second guess what you’re doing. Get used to opinions. Be strong enough to block them out of your mind and keep moving. The only thing that matters is what you’re doing, so don’t let it throw you off. Keep your focus on you and not what they say.
Taking on other people’s issues does not help them. You may think you’re being helpful and your intentions may be genuine, but the truth is, everyone has to fight their own battles. When you take on someone else’s issues, you bring yourself into it emotionally and it’s not even yours to deal with. You begin to feel guilty because it didn’t turn out the way it was supposed to. They begin to depend on you whenever something happens. When it doesn’t work out, they blame you, but it’s not your issue.
It’s fine to be supportive, but at the same time, you have your own life to live. Don’t let other people’s hang-ups consume you. You have your own work to do. Everything that happens in your life is based on your decisions. No one controls your life and you don’t control anyone else’s life.
Again, it’s not being selfish, but realize that everyone is responsible for themselves. Being helpful and supportive is awesome, but you must draw the line somewhere. If you don’t, you’ll end up making someone else’s issue, your own. When you’re on an airplane, the emergency rule is to put your mask on first, THEN help others with their masks. You’re unable to help others if you don’t help yourself first.
DISCLAIMER: If you see a hungry child on the street, I’m not saying to pass them by and say, “It’s your issue, not mine.” By all means, help – it’s the human thing to do. This post is in reference to people who have made a career out of making others come to their rescue and those who put their responsibilities on others.