February 2020 - The Goalden Lady

The Power In Your Potential

We think we know our own potential. Most of us have been living our lives according to what other people think and that’s not your potential. In fact, it goes further than you think.

Your potential is infinite – there is no end to your ability to do anything. We say to ourselves, “I can do anything!” The real question isn’t whether you can do it or not, but will you actually put in the necessary time and effort to do it?

How Do You Think Of Your Potential?

Everyone has the capability to do what they please. If that’s the case, why is it so difficult to follow through and achieve your plan?

There’s no doubt that there’s power in thinking and saying you can do something. An idea starts in the mind. You are responsible for growing it to it’s fullest potential.

You give up power when you let other people’s judgments guide you. You ask for their opinion and trick yourself into thinking that you need their approval. Sometimes, you just want an audience to cheer you on before you start.

The absolute power is in the act of doing it for yourself. We all know that anyone is capable of doing anything. Have the confidence to make it happen, whether others support you or not.

Use Your Power For Yourself

If you’ve made it this far, you’re ahead of the crowd. You can talk about accomplishing your goals all day long, but nothing will work, unless you do.

Instead of wanting others to support you and validate your ideas, do it for yourself. They can’t see your vision, because it’s yours. Put forth the physical effort by showing up and doing the actual work.

Hold yourself accountable. It may help to have an accountability partner, but in the end, it’s up to you whether you will do it or not. When it gets hard, other people will easily tell you to take it easy or say ‘I told you so.’ It’s not important to them like it is to you. Don’t let yourself down.

You must be fine with others not liking your ideas. Be comfortable with negative feedback and the criticism that comes along with your journey. Be persistent and carry out your idea towards your potential. Keep others and their distractions at a distance.

Will You Do It?

Are you strong enough to stick with your idea, even when everyone else thinks it’s impossible? Do you still see your own light? Yes, it can be hard, but there are other places where you can find support and encouragement.

The internet has allowed the world to connect through the touch of a screen, or with the click of a mouse. You are no longer held captive within one specific environment.

There are motivational blogs to read – even social media can be a great support, IF you follow the right people. Select a podcast that serves your motivational interests and feeds your mind with inspiration.

Join a group of people who are on the same growing path as you. This will allow you to connect with positive energy and will benefit you moving forward.

Potential Is Power

Don’t be discouraged by others. It’s easier to insult and criticize someone, than it is to be helpful. Keep your eye on the prize and be disciplined enough to battle through your limits.

By using your resources wisely, you’ll be able to find the right community that shares the same hunger for achieving the impossible.

Understand that you won’t find your power in other people. You have to find it within yourself. Always bet on you – others may count you out before you even start, but know that you have the focus and discipline to push through to the end.

You’re Not Perfect, But You Can Still Be Successful

The idea of being perfect can be your worst enemy. It makes you think you’re making progress, by being ‘busy’ and constantly being in a state of getting ready.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the absolute best at what you’re doing, but when it turns into a big project of nothing, that’s where we have an issue.

Everyone wants to be perfect and do things right the very first time, but it almost always never happens that way. There’s no such thing as perfection, but you can get close to it.

Is Being Perfect Possible?

The idea of perfection has caused a lot of mental harm to people. We know that no one is perfect, so why do we continue to chase the illusion?

We see perfection on social media. People who have the perfect spouse and they go on perfect vacations, with their perfect salaries, in their perfect little world. That’s what we want.

We also see perfection in other people’s judgments. When we’re being judged, the first thing we think about is how we can change, so we can avoid that judgment in the future.

Stop thinking that everyone else is perfect and you are behind or lacking any ability. There’s also a side of people that you don’t see, or know nothing about, that isn’t so spotless. Most people will only show you what they want you to see.

No one will ever be perfect and that’s okay – just don’t fool yourself into thinking that perfection is what it takes to be successful.

Excuses And Procrastination

How many times have you used the excuse of making something just right (perfect), only to end up extending the time and eventually, not following through?

Being a perfectionist definitely leads to procrastinating. “It has to be just right, or it won’t work.” What about just doing it to the best of your ability and putting the thing out there and seeing what happens?

The only way you will know the result of something, is if you just do it and put it out there. It may not be exactly how you pictured it in your mind, but you need to take action in order to know if it’ll work.

How can you work towards a desired outcome if you have no feedback to go on? Yes, feedback can be scary and it can hurt your feelings (if you let it). Get in the habit of consistently doing and putting it out there, so you can see where you need to improve.

The more you put it out there, the more progress you make. The more progress you make, the closer you will get to perfection. You won’t be perfect, but you’ll get really close.

Don’t Waste Your Time

Don’t waste time with it. Take imperfect action. That means speaking in public, taking that test, publishing that book, cooking that dish for those special guests, talking to that person, closing that deal – whatever it is you’re attempting to be perfect at.

If you keep working on it, before you know it, two years will have passed by. What if you had done it and learned how to make it better along the way? Within those same two years, you will have become a pro at what you’re doing, as opposed to still figuring out the perfect way to start.

While you’re hesitating by being ‘busy’, someone else is out there making mistakes and correcting it as they go. They are continuing to enhance and advance. They will accomplish their goal by carefully managing their time, while seeing past the illusion of being perfect.

Time is constant and no one can stop it. Be productive by taking advantage of it and constantly making great strides. Ask any older person and they will tell you that they wish they had more time, or used the time that they had, more wisely.

Pushing Past Being Perfect

Nothing is perfect. Even your technical device will have a hiccup every now and then, but it doesn’t stop because it’s not perfect – it updates and keeps going. When it comes across another error, it’ll update again and keep going.

This is how you must look at perfection. Be imperfect, but don’t let it slow you down. Make it better (update) and continue on. You’ll see your success quicker this way, rather than mindlessly creating the perfect process.

Being disciplined and having tough skin will help with overcoming your misconception of being perfect. You must be willing to take losses, as well as being judged. At the same time, you have to be resilient and remain focused if you want to achieve any goal.

Don’t let being perfect be a distraction. You can keep putting off starting and say you’re not ready, but you’ll find yourself in the same place, this time next year.

Make a commitment to getting unstuck. Launch your idea, even if it’s not 100% ready. Speak in public, even if your voice is shaky. Receive judgment and criticism, even if it stings a little. Allow it to fuel you, not frustrate you.

You’re already ahead of most people who let their thoughts and ideas live in their heads. The best way to get close to perfection, is to put yourself out there and take imperfect action.

#BeGoalden

Don’t Expect Everyone To Love What You Do

Do you expect everyone to love what you do, before you get started? When we start a significant journey, one of the first things we deal with are our expectations. We expect a good circle of support, as well as a good outcome of something great.

Having a positive vision helps with the process, but you shouldn’t get stuck depending on others. Waiting for someone to validate you or agree with your idea is a waste of time – you’ll be waiting forever.

Instead, bet on yourself and take a chance. Remember to keep up with your own expectations – run your race, according to your standards.

Control What You Can

One of the most important things to remember is that you can only control what you can. Often times, we get bent out of shape over things we have no control over and we allow it to consume our day in a negative way.

If someone gives a negative opinion about your project, that doesn’t mean you should stop. It’s just an opinion. You did your best, but you aren’t able to control what other people say or think.

Don’t overthink their opinion. It’s fine to think back on how you could improve, but don’t let it ruin the fact that you pulled off this project when no one else wanted to take it. You put the idea out there and took a chance, while they gossiped in the break room everyday.

You can only deal with what you can control. If it rains on the day you were planning to go out, don’t worry the rest of the day away – you can either plan it for another day, or simply do something else.

Don’t Expect Immediate Support

You have this incredible idea in your head and it’s going to change the world! You can’t wait to get started.

When you tell your family and friends about it, they don’t seem too excited. You may even receive some unsolicited feedback on how it won’t work out and how crazy you are for thinking of it.

If these are the types of reactions you get, you’re actually on the right path. Hardly anyone ever supports great ideas from the start. Sometimes, you have to prove yourself before people jump on board.

It can be a lonely path in the beginning, because no one sees your vision the way you do. As they say, if it were easy, everyone would do it. Most people won’t be supportive at first, so don’t expect everyone to back you. Believe in what you’re doing and continue to persist.

This is why it’s important to get around a group of encouraging people. It’s not necessary, but it helps that someone else can see a glimmer of light when everyone else only sees darkness.

Expect Nothing To Go As Planned

Writing your thoughts down and creating a plan to make it work is essential when working on your goals. What happens when things don’t go according to your plan?

If your plan doesn’t seem to work, it’s alright. You’ve found a way that doesn’t work, therefore, you don’t have to waste any more time on that particular strategy. It’s called making progress.

This is not a hint to stop and give up. It’s a helpful hint that is pointing you in another direction, to attempt something else. There’s no straight path to success.

The twists and turns that you’ll experience will only make you more productive, aware and intelligent. Mistakes are merely suggestions on what to do next, or how to do it better.

So, no, it won’t go as planned. You must possess the mindset that you have the ability to figure it out as you go along. Every path is different and you are creating your own.

Expect The Best From Yourself

It won’t do you any good to have great expectations of other people, but it does help to expect more from yourself.

Other people will let you down, but you won’t let yourself down. Your standard of excellence will allow you to advance towards the future you are building. Others can’t do that for you.

Be confident and believe in yourself. It may be difficult, but trust yourself enough to go out and pursue your dream. Have the courage to go at it without stopping and succumbing to other’s opinions.

All it takes is one confident thought and some productive action. People will always find a way to insult your dreams, but only you can build yourself and make it happen.

What do you expect from yourself? It’s all up to you.

#BeGoalden

Success Never Stops -Achieve More Goals

Achieving success is never easy. Most strategies don’t go as planned and time plays a role in the entire process.

Once you finally reach your goal, you may think it’s over, but it’s not. There’s always another peak to climb and conquer – life doesn’t stop after one major accomplishment.

After I Achieve My Goal, What’s Next?

It took you months, or maybe even years, to be successful with your goal. It feels great and you want to celebrate and live in that particular success forever!

Who wouldn’t want to stay in that moment? You won the game, beat the odds and you’re the champion, but what’s next?

This is a natural feeling after you’ve achieved a major goal in your life. Some people don’t know what to do, but you need to create another challenge for yourself and start the climb all over again.

Your first success is only the beginning. You’re at the peak of this mountain, but now, you have to start hiking the next mountain. When you finally reach the top and look out over the horizon, you see there are more mountains to climb.

Take On Another Challenge

There has to be another challenge to face, or another battle to win. This is what helps you become more productive and builds confidence for your future plans. If you stop after one success, it will quickly fade away.

Think of a singer with a popular song. The song may have been #1 for a few weeks, but sooner or later, someone else will come along and become #1. You don’t want to be a one hit wonder – you want to continue and have more #1 hit songs.

To keep it going, the singer may start to put out their own artists, or maybe cross over into movie soundtracks. Maybe they want to step outside of their talent and open a restaurant, but no matter what, they must keep up the momentum.

Success Isn’t A One Time Event

If you want to be successful, it never stops. After you achieve that goal, there’s more to consider.

You don’t take over the world after achieving one goal. There’s always someone who is working just as hard to overshadow your success. In order to keep making progress, you must find another summit to scale.

Don’t become a ‘has-been’ and continue repeating and remembering that one time in your life. You don’t want to live your life wondering what would have happened. Stretch yourself and see where your new abilities take you.

Success Never Stops

The skills you gain from each success should allow you to take aim at an even bigger target. It never stops.

The most important step to achieving any goal is to just start. Figure things out along the way. You won’t have all the answers in the beginning – it’s all a part of the journey.

The more mountains you climb, the more skills you’ll develop. You’ll put yourself in a position to help others who were once like you and that becomes another form of success.

Validate your potential. You are capable of more than you think, but you’ll never know if you stop after achieving one goal.

#BeGoalden

The Hard Truth About Your Self-Limiting Beliefs

Your self-limiting beliefs is what holds you back. It’s that negative chatter in your head that tells you that you can’t do it before you even start.

You haven’t even begun, yet, you’re already defeated.

It starts in your mind. You believe the negative self-talk, but you ignore the positive. It should be the other way around.

We want someone to cheer us on, but you have to get it right in your head first.

It makes no sense to want your dream to thrive on the outside, but you’re killing it on the inside.

The funny thing is, you’re in control. You can change it if you want to. Being the best at what you want to do just requires a little effort and inner support from you — your mind.

Don’t let everything live in your mind. You have the ability to ignore it if you don’t like it. If it makes you feel good, let it run all through your brain! Don’t let go of that feeling! Allow it to take over!

But somehow, the negative, unproductive thoughts run rampant in your mind. “Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong, so why even try.” It rings all up and through your brain and you let it.

There needs to be a switch, here.

I get it — positive is boring and hard. Negative is edgy and exciting.

Once you understand that you have full, total control over your mind, you’ll feel like you’ve been cheating yourself all this time.

You’ll complain, “Why didn’t they teach me that in school? Why didn’t anyone tell me that I HAVE THE POWER?”

People did tell you. The fact is, you chose to listen with a deaf ear. Your attention craved negative things. It’s more exhilarating.

Your focus is controlled by others who don’t have your pure interest at heart. They’ll show and tell you anything, in exchange for your loyalty.

That’s what happens when you don’t think for yourself. You’re lost, waiting on someone else to tell you what to do and how to live your life. You look to them as if your life depended on it.

Practice your positive. Repeat affirmations until it gets stuck on repeat in your head. Read biographies of people who didn’t give up on themselves. Listen to motivational podcasts.

Lately, people have been saying that motivation doesn’t work.

It works if you didn’t have any motivation to begin with.

Take a chance and live like you’ve always imagined. Spread out a blanket on your front lawn and have a snack while looking at the clouds. You can do that!

What’s stopping you?

Nothing. Nothing but your own mind and what others might think of you.

Who cares?

Deep inside, they want to come and sit on your blanket. They want to look at the clouds, too.

But, they’re too worried about how silly it looks.

Think for yourself! Give yourself permission to do what you want to do! It doesn’t matter how it looks to others — all that matters is how it makes YOU feel.

Stop giving up your time and power to other people who don’t even care about you. Stop allowing them to crowd your mind with pessimistic clutter.

You are in control. Be you and take control of your life. Guide it the way you want it to go.

Besides…we’re all figuring it out as we go along. Figure out what you like and know that you can do it. No more wimpy thoughts about your capabilities.

You are who you believe you are. It’s your choice. Are you going to think big or think small?

Don’t be lazy with your thinking. Don’t be so quick to put yourself down, while pushing others forward.

Take the limits off of your mind and push yourself. You’ll be surprised at how far you can go when you believe.

(Previously published on Medium.com.)

#BeGoalden

3 Proactive Strategies To Build A Successful Life

People say it all the time: “Just do it! Start where you are! Think positive!” Those things sound good in theory, but where do you actually begin?

Developing strong habits is a great start. If you want to build yourself into a more productive person, you’re going to have to make some changes with your daily practices.

Introduce the following 3 habits into your life. This isn’t about instant gratification. Instead, it’s about preparing for upcoming opportunities and growth, which will be beneficial to you in the long run.

Strategy #1: Take Ownership of Your Actions

As kids, we would point the finger at someone else if we didn’t want to get in trouble. Even if we knew it was our fault, we would do anything to avoid punishment. For some of us, we carried this habit over into adulthood.

If you do something wrong, own up to it. This is the sign of a leader. The point isn’t to find someone to blame, it’s to take responsibility so the team can move forward.

People are so worried about the consequences of their actions, that they don’t want to own their mistakes. This type of mindset holds up your process to achieving any goal.

No one wants to look bad, but in hindsight, see where you went wrong and improve upon what happened. If you should come across the situation again, you know how to handle it better. Own your actions and allow it to be a life lesson.

Strategy #2: Hold Yourself Accountable

In order to become the greatest version of yourself, you must hold yourself accountable. Your personal standards should exceed the standards of what others expect of you.

It’s good to have accountability partners, but they’re not always necessary. Some people work better alone because they can move at their own pace. In some instances, an accountability partner can hold you back.

Instead of giving someone else the responsibility of holding you accountable, hold yourself accountable. Letting yourself down should be more painful than letting someone else down. You can disappoint others and not care, but if you disappoint yourself (especially if it’s something you really want to accomplish), it should spark you into action.

Don’t depend on others – start holding yourself accountable. Without realizing it, your friends can be your biggest downfall. They may let you get away with skipping a workout or look the other way when you slip up. Trust yourself and don’t give in.

Strategy #3: Be Solution-Focused

When everyone else is complaining, find a solution. While everyone else is making up excuses, find a way to make it work. Make it a habit of making things happen.

It’s easy to find comfort in negativity. Most people live in those spaces, but there’s no growth there. If you want to find yourself in a better position, you’re going to have to do the opposite and that means finding solutions.

Be the person that looks for an answer. Even if your suggestion doesn’t work out, at least you didn’t sit there and complain while doing nothing. All you did was learn one way that didn’t work.

Whenever the chance is given, always look for a solution. Contributing to the problem doesn’t move you any closer to solving the issue. Your job is to focus on getting to the next level. Be solution-focused.

BONUS – Strategy #4: Be Consistent With Taking Action

This is the most important strategy. No matter what happens, be consistent with taking action.

You will encounter obstacles and challenges throughout your life – no one is immune to this. The only way you can guarantee your achievement is to take consistent action.

The more action you take, the more direction you give yourself. If you go in the wrong direction, turn around and go in another. This leads to the path towards your achievement. Keep taking action until you reach your goal.

Most people will see it as a sign to stop, but it’s just a hint that you should try again, but in a different way. You can change the course, but never change the goal.

These strategies will help you create a steady foundation for the rest of your life. Begin using them now and start reaping the benefits of your future sooner, rather than later.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: You Don’t Have To Like It (Just Do It)

You’re ready to start committing to your goal. You’ve done all of the research and you know what it’s going to take. The plan has been thought out and you’re prepared. The start date comes around and you realize that you’re not feeling it. It looked good during research, but now it’s time to do the actual work.

When people say they want to reach a certain goal, they mostly think about the parts they like to do. This can be fun and it’s part of the reason why you want to do it, right? Everyone says, “Follow your passion! Do what you love!” That’s called a hobby. If you want to make a living off of what you love to do, it’s called a business.

Now, you have to do business things. It doesn’t seem so fun anymore. You can only get paid under the table for so long. You will run into someone who will ask you to fill out an I-9 or W-9 for whatever type of tax or identification purposes*. Now, you need to temporarily stop baking cupcakes and start doing the paperwork necessary to make your business official.

Yes, I know you hate paperwork and filling out different forms and making payments to cover your business name with the state, etc. Well, you don’t have to like it, you just have to do it. While you’re baking those lovely cupcakes, you also have to make time for the things you need to do to make your business grow and to generate more customers. You can pay someone to do these things for you or you can take the time and do it yourself. I know it’s laborious, but you should always aim to have all of your ducks in a row.

You just learned that you need a license in order to bake those lovely cupcakes you’ve been baking for the last ten years. You already know how to do this, so why do you need a license? Well, it’s the law (for example purposes). If you get a surprise inspection one day, you’ll be glad you did it. Get your lovely cupcake baking license and keep moving forward. Want to be recognized as a woman-owned business? That’s a task – you’ll need the last three years of taxes, articles of organization, the date your business started, meeting minutes, NAICS codes, etc*. Ask anyone in a legal business and they will tell you that there’s much more to running a business, other than doing the part you love.

It sucks that these things come up, but don’t let it ruin your passion for those cupcakes. There are many other things you will have to do, just so you can bake those lovely cupcakes. As your business grows, you’ll be able to hire someone to help you with the boring, tedious paperwork. Again, you don’t have to like all of the exhausting, monotonous work, but you have to do it. Don’t let it stop you from starting your business. Everyone has to do it – no one is picking on you. If it’s needed, then do it. Plain and simple. The complaining and whining will only hinder your progress.

One more time: you don’t have to like it, you just have to do it. If it was easy, everyone would be successful.

*The examples in this post are merely used as a guideline in starting a fictitious cupcake business. Please do your own research in order to succeed.

Take Advantage Of Your Mind And Transform Your Life

Our mind is capable of many things, beyond what we think. Sometimes, we make up our own story to make it seem like others have some sort of privilege that we don’t. That’s not always true – some people simply put in the work and make sacrifices.

Nothing comes easy. Yes, there will be people who have an advantage, but don’t allow that to take over your mind and distract you. If you use your mind proactively, it should push you to create more of an advantage for yourself.

Take Advantage Of Your Thoughts

There are people who are born with millions of dollars to their name. They can just about do whatever they please, without worrying about the future.

This may be true, but we never know what people are going through. No matter how much it seems like they have it all together, something could be troubling them that we don’t know about.

Instead of wanting the life of someone else, create your own life. Turn your thoughts around and become the advantage that you wish you had. Start building the foundation that leads to the life you want. Your mind has the ability to do that – all you need is to take action.

It’s Not Too Late

In today’s world, there are teenagers who are millionaires. Seeing this makes some of us feel like it’s too late for our own dreams.

Let’s not compare ourselves to others. Everyone’s journey is unique to them. Just because someone else reached their goal before you did, doesn’t mean that it was easy, or that you still can’t reach yours.

It’s no reason to throw in the towel and give up. Things won’t always be this way, but you must stay focused and move forward. For some, success happens at 23 and for others, it happens at 63. As long as you keep going, things will turn around – you just have to use your mind and figure it out.

Don’t Be Jealous Of Others

Jealousy is a sneaky characteristic. It has a way of making you feel justified in your negative thoughts about others. When this happens, be mindful enough to switch your thoughts to be more positive.

Be happy for others and their achievements. It helps to support others in their time of accomplishment. Surrounding yourself with a positive environment where people are constantly driving forward, is good for your vision and growth.

When you hide behind jealousy, it weakens your energy. You begin to miss opportunities and your circle of friends will reinforce a negative mindset. It becomes easy to bring others down and play the victim and harder to escape that weak space, once you get there.

Give Yourself The Advantage

Manage your mindset. That’s where the process of success begins. Others will have you thinking that only certain people are destined for their dreams, but that isn’t so.

Everyday, you have the chance to do better and become better. Life may not have given you a head start, but what about your future? Begin working now, so that you can give yourself an advantage, as well as your future heirs.

You may not have been born into privilege, but you can still create it for yourself. Everyone’s life is different and we must learn to play the hand we were dealt. It won’t be easy, but being jealous of someone else’s hand only takes away your potential to win.

Go ahead and get started. It’s never too late.

#BeGoalden