December 2019 - The Goalden Lady

What Does It Take To Turn On Your Light?

There may be times where you feel like nothing’s working. Success is for other people, not for you.

The first challenge is knowing what you want. If you don’t know your destination, how will you get there? Setting goals is the first thing you must do.

Seeing success can be delusional. It looks as if the other person has been there all of their life, or it took them no time at all to get there.

The part that you don’t see is where the magic lies.

Once you know where you’re going, you must figure out how to get there. The task may seem overwhelming, but it can be done, if you take it step by step.

The second challenge is forming habits and daily rituals. There has to be some sort of rhythm or pattern in place, in order to make progress.

People who set standards for themselves have a way that they do certain things, everyday. To be productive, there has to be habits in place to accommodate improvement.

The third challenge is taking action and moving forward. It’s not as easy as it sounds, considering the constant distractions we deal with on a daily basis. Even past that, starting is the hardest part of any journey, but it definitely can be done.

Not knowing what to do or where to start is a process in itself. When you feel lost, what do you do?

All of these challenges are what contribute to your potential success. Making the decision to follow through with the process is up to you.

Remove Your Limiting Beliefs

Let’s get this out of the way – before you begin anything in life, you must remove your limiting beliefs.

This can be tricky, because when you think you’ve removed them, they come back. It’s going to be a constant battle in your mind.

A strong foundation of discipline, focus and consistency will help along the way, but it won’t help unless you use them.

As you’re reading this now, your mind may be fighting against you, because you are about to do something it’s not used to – something uncomfortable. You’re having new ideas and you’re thinking new thoughts. It’s easy to just lay back and float down the river, but that’s not the path to success.

Going against the current is the path. Your mind is the current and you have to paddle you boat past those false beliefs, no matter how hard it is. Start believing you can, you deserve it, and it’s possible. Whatever the negative part of your mind is saying, believe the opposite.

If you want to stay comfortable and want to do the easy things, then this isn’t for you. It’s for those who are willing to step up to the challenge and advance towards a more productive and fulfilling life.

Living in fear can hold you back from the most amazing things that are waiting for you. It leads to regret – there is nothing more mentally devastating, than living with regret.

There are no hacks involved and no shortcuts. This is the work that has to be done, prior to your success.

Go ahead – turn on your light.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Building Life Changing Habits

Everyone has habits and patterns that they live by. Most of those habits are done unconsciously and carried over into adulthood from our childhood environment. Building life-changing habits isn’t hard, once you figure out what habits you want to change.

After becoming an adult, you begin to recognize those habits you didn’t create. Maybe you have a drink after work every night or you read a chapter from a book before bedtime. Whatever it is, determine which habits propel you forward or hold you back.

The Habit Of Fear

Your childhood environment has impressed upon you certain habits. One of those habits could be fear.

My mother is deathly afraid of water. When we were younger, we would take trips to the beach, but she would warn us not to get in past our ankles. We weren’t even allowed to sit on the side of the pool. Water was not allowed in our lives, unless we were taking a shower or washing dishes.

As we became older, my siblings and I realized that water wasn’t as bad as we thought. We’ve led active lives by learning how to swim, taking water aerobics and participating in other water sports, without fear.

It took a while to get rid of that fear, because it was ingrained in us to never get too close to water. Once we became older, we changed that fear into something more productive.

The Habit Of Consistency

On the other hand, my father is an avid reader. Every night when he came home from work, he would read the newspaper.

This was another unconscious habit I picked up in my childhood. I love to read almost anything I can get my hands on. Like him, there’s not a day that goes by without me reading something.

This is one of the habits I learned in childhood that served me well. Not only does reading improve your comprehension and understanding, it helps to increase your focus.

What Habits Have You Created?

The biggest misconception about habits is that they can’t be changed. Just because it’s a habit doesn’t mean it’s permanent.

Think about where most of your habits come from. Whether they are good habits or bad habits, you have the power to change them to work in your favor.

Create new habits for yourself. What is that one thing you want to do every morning before you start your day, or that one thing you want to do before you go to bed? Make it a habit and it will become a natural part of your everyday life.

Positive Habits Can Change Your Life

By creating positive habits, or replacing bad habits with better habits, it can change your life.

The more you challenge yourself with good habits, the more confidence you will have. Things that seemed too scary to do, will become easier over time.

Building good habits will also diminish your limiting thoughts and beliefs. The more you do that habit, it will increase your self-esteem and you will find courage to follow through with your goals.

Always Have Productive Habits

When you develop your good habits, never stop. Instead of walking one mile, keep improving until you can walk or run a marathon. The good thing about practicing good habits is that they lead to better opportunities and endless possibilities.

It’s important to keep increasing your efforts and habits. Take it one day at a time and reward yourself. Celebrate the small wins, so that you know it’s possible. This helps as you move closer to your end result.

If you want to change your life for the better, you must start by building better habits. Replace the bad habits with life-changing habits by taking baby steps. If it’s a bad habit, do it a little bit less. If it’s a good habit, do it a little bit more.

Day by day and week after week, you’ll start to see a shift towards a more constructive and energetic life!

#BeGoalden

When An Unexpected Moment Turns Into A Lifetime

Don't Let One Unexpected Moment Turn Into A Lifetime

We go through life, choosing different unexpected moments to highlight throughout our day. Some of those moments are fulfilling and others can ruin us for days, while disturbing our potential.

The challenges that occur in life, happens to everyone. It may not be the exact same issue, or maybe not as severe compared to some, but things come up daily that we need to deal with.

Are you the person who takes it all in stride or do you allow it to wreck the rest of your day? What does it take to move on successfully? How do you respond to those unexpected situations?

Moments Happen

You have your day planned out in your head. Things are going well, then all of a sudden, you get a flat tire. This wasn’t part of the plan. Great.

Most people will let their entire day go down the drain, just because their tire went flat. At the same time, you could put your emotions aside and deal with it.

Things happen all the time, whether we plan for it or not. Yes, it puts a wrinkle in your day, but what can you do? You can either be mad and handle it, or you can be glad that you know how to handle it and move on with your day.

Your Moment, Your Choice

The unexpected is almost impossible to avoid. It’s hard to tell when it’s going to happen and even more difficult to know what to plan for. The closest thing you can do is prepare for it.

Even though you may think that when the unexpected happens, you have no choice but to endure it, but that’s not totally true. There’s no doubt that you have to get through it, but you can control how you respond to the situation.

Most people choose to be mad about it, even when it’s over. Your tire went flat, now you have to change it or call for help, then, you’ll be late for work and the rest of your day is completely off.

While that may be true, you could also easily decide to deal with the challenge at hand and move on. It may have some effect on the rest of your day, but don’t allow it to control the rest of your day (or life).

Let It Go

There are people who will let a flat tire ruin their entire week. The issue was fixed, but they choose to hold on to those negative feelings of having to spend money, the wasted time, and just the inconvenience of it all.

Life has moved on, but they are still on last week. There are positive things that have happened since then, but they’re too busy being stuck on the flat tire to acknowledge it.

This goes for everything. No matter what happens, we must learn how to deal with it in the moment and continue on. The worst thing you can do is to keep reliving that moment over and over again, willingly. Don’t let that moment drag into the rest of your life. Let it go.

Get Over It

As harsh as it may sound, we all must get to a place where we can get it over with, then, get over it.

Get it over with, then, get over it.

It happened. It was troublesome, unexpected and it cost money. Look at the bright side – you got through it and you learned how to prepare a little bit better for it next time.

Bad times don’t deserve a permanent spot in your life, but your goals do. The same energy it takes to be mad at the unexpected, could be the same energy you use to fuel your dreams at any time.

Don’t let one moment turn into a lifetime. You are strong and you will get through it, but you have to believe that you can. Get over it, move on and don’t look back – you’re not going that way.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Destroying The Habit Of Self-Defeat

We’ve all done it at some point in our lives, where self-defeat causes us to diminish our ideas and beliefs before anyone else can.

It makes you think you’re escaping the ridicule of others before they have a chance to do it. The idea of, “If I don’t do it, I won’t get hurt,” only leads to a path of self-sabotage and defeat.

What Is Self-Defeat?

Self-defeat is when you deny yourself of potential positive outcomes. You think it won’t happen anyway, so why even try? You don’t want to experience losing or having hurt feelings, so you run away from opportunity and beat yourself up.

First, let’s get over the idea of getting your feelings hurt. It’s going to happen. We’ve all had hurt feelings before, but we find a way to get past it. It doesn’t stop after you get old, so start dealing with it now.

The only way to deal with it is to go through it. Learn to develop a habit of persistence. Every time an obstacle occurs, don’t allow it to hijack your plan – be resourceful, figure it out and act. The next time it happens, you’ll know how to handle it and move on.

Putting yourself down only makes you weak and less confident. You need all of the confidence you can build up. Having a healthy self-esteem prepares you for those moments of uncertainty.

Want To See Your Enemy? Look In The Mirror

Secondly, don’t be your own worst enemy. There are other people who already do that. They try to insult you because you’re at least making an effort. It’s their insecurities – they don’t have a strong mindset to do the things they really want to do, so they try to push that same belief onto you.

Don’t let those types of thoughts enter your mind, because then, you begin to sabotage your own beliefs about yourself. You become your own worst enemy. You’ve done the enemy’s job for them.

Don’t let the enemy win!

At this point, no one has to do it to you, because you’re doing it to yourself. You disrespect yourself by believing what they say. You’ve placed limits on your own abilities, just to escape what they might say or ‘think.’

Who cares what they say or what they think? The only person in this world that knows exactly what you can do, is you. It’s not your parents, your siblings, your girlfriend/boyfriend – no, only you really know how far you can go. It’s in your control.

Stop listening to what other people tell you and listen to yourself. Tell yourself how awesome and strong you are!

Now, believe it. Don’t allow anyone else to take over your mind and bend it to what they like. Don’t worry about disappointing others, worry about disappointing yourself.

Self-Defeat Is A Limited Mindset

It’s great if you have an encouraging environment of people who trust and believe in you, but it comes down to you believing when no one else is there. Your cheerleaders won’t always be with you everywhere you go, so you have to learn to be your own cheerleader and follow through.

Don’t stop your progress before it starts. If there’s a wide open, 2 mile road ahead of you, why would you stop after taking 2 steps? This is where your self-defeat comes in:

Who do you think you are?
You’ll only make it halfway…
It’s too far…
Am I getting a prize for this?

All kinds of things will pop into your mind, but you must learn to stretch yourself. So what, if no one is there to see you do it? Do it for yourself! Do it for the benefit of knowing! This is how you build yourself. Stopping yourself before you start only makes you like everyone else.

You’re not everyone else. Find what you are interested in and go after it. Learn it, do it, make mistakes, do it again, create a better plan, follow it, fall down, get back up…that’s how it works.

It’s not a waste of time. It’s called progress and progress leads to success. Don’t sabotage yourself into a life of mediocrity and regret. Let your light shine!

#BeGoalden

Be Self-Aware And Live For Yourself

Part of building a strong foundation for your life is being self-aware. It takes effort to think yourself into your vision. When you know who you are, you will live for yourself.

Often times, we let others see our future before we do. Negative words are spoken in our presence and our minds automatically accept what was said.

How do you create your own dream? Why do you believe what others say about you? Do you really know who you are?

Be Self-Aware For You

People will judge anyone else, but themselves. It’s a quirky way to take the attention off of themselves and put it on others. This relieves any kind of embarrassment that could possibly happen when interacting within a group.

Understand that everyone has their opinions, but you don’t have to let it drive your life. More than likely, you’ll hear untrue opinions and hearsay about yourself throughout life. If you’re not careful, it’ll sink into your mind and ruin your self-esteem.

The issue isn’t you. It only becomes you when you begin to accept those opinions and judgments about you. You have the ability to turn it around. There doesn’t need to be a public debate about who you are, but you do need to know it on the inside, where it counts.

Are You Self-Aware? Who Are You?

Have you really thought about who you really are? We can easily talk about other people and give our thoughts on who we think they are, but can you honestly say who you are?

This is important, because if you’re not self-aware, you’ll take everyone else’s opinion and go with it. Allowing other people to shape your life through their assumptions can be destructive.

If someone says you’re not so smart, you may fall into that hole. Don’t step into other’s ideas of you. You are smart, but they only said it because they think that of themselves.

Get to know yourself. What do you like to do? Are you outgoing? Does being around kids bother you? When are you at your best? What do you know you need to work on? Are you working towards any goals?

Your Life Depends On You

Live your life, because no one else can live it for you. Be the director of your movie. You are the leading star, not the extra.

You may take the advice of others who have your interest at heart, but ultimately, it’s your life, so it’s your choice. Many times, we let others control and direct our movie.

A strong mindset is one of the most valuable things in your life. You possess the power to make a choice. Stop blaming the outcome of your situation on someone else. They may have had something to do with it, but again, it was your choice.

Be responsible for the decisions you make. Whether they are good or bad, take the results and own them. Most people point the finger at someone else – that’s easy. When you take responsibility for your choices, you are essentially taking control of your life and being self-aware in the process.

“I Am Not What You Say.”

Creating the person you want to become isn’t a simple task. All of the judgment, opinions and obstacles can wear a person down. It doesn’t have to be that way, if you know who you are.

Life has a way of making you feel like everyone and everything is working against you. At some point, everyone has felt this way. The ones who get over it, are the ones who know who they are and they keep going.

Be self-aware. Master yourself. Defeat the challenges and distractions that happen everyday. Don’t allow your attitude to fit into someone else’s small opinion of you.

Believe this: you are great – your potential is endless – you are brave and beautiful – you can do what you think you can do – it’s never a problem, just a challenge – it’s never a mistake, just feedback – you never lose, you just learned what didn’t work.

Always move forward and be the star of your movie.

#BeGoalden

Throwback Thursday: Shift And Move

Have you ever been in traffic and you see a sign that says “Traffic Delays Ahead”? For most people, it’s frustrating because it means construction delays and detours. Now they have to find another way to get to their destination and it will throw off their estimated time of arrival. I’m sure the construction people don’t mean to slow up your day (or weeks), but it has to be done for everyone’s safety and benefit. There’s no other way around it, but to dig in and start.

After they are finished repairing the road (days or weeks later), everyone’s happy that they did what needed to be done. The road drives better and traffic is more efficient.

This is what happens when you are on your way to achieving your goal and doing your work. Things you didn’t expect to happen will come up and you have to deal with it. Most people would stop and not take a second look at what needs to be done to get around the problem. There will be times when you have to take a look at what happened, figure out how to move forward, and continue on. What’s the worst that could happen? You may lose a little time and patience, but if it’s necessary to move forward, then do it. Challenges will arise, but you must have the attitude and confidence to handle it. Try not to get so caught up with the problem, but push for a solution. Sometimes, a pivot is needed in order to keep moving.

Don’t be discouraged if your plan isn’t going the way you thought it would go. One of the characteristics of a Goalden Lady is knowing when to shift and move. When you thought you were going left, you find out you need to turn right. It may cause a slight panic because it was unexpected, but making that turn and moving on shows that you’re flexible and can handle any challenge that presents itself. Sometimes, a change is needed to make things better.

When you look back on those obstacles that tried to derail you, you’ll be proud that you hung in there and faced it head on. You will come out on the other end a stronger person! Even if the outcome was bad, it’s a lesson learned and you won’t make that mistake again. Every obstacle has a lesson (good or bad), because you learn what to do and what NOT to do. Use it to your advantage to become better – it will benefit you in the long run.

The construction people don’t come up with excuses when they do their job – they get right to it, so they can finish and move on (because it is their job). When you come across a challenge, don’t make an excuse – figure it out, dig in, and keep moving (because it is your work).

#BeGoalden

How To Turn Procrastination Into Progress

Procrastination occurs in many ways. Some people put things off at the suggestion of others, while some are stuck being comfortable.

With the internet, most things have become easier to access. Today, you don’t need to wait for anything to happen. Delaying any type of progress is a choice that you consciously make.

With that being said, how can you stop being hesitant? Is it possible to pull yourself out of that negative vortex? When is the best time to go from procrastination to progress?

The Procrastination Trap

Change can be as difficult as you make it. Sometimes, we tend to make things harder than they really are, especially if it’s outside of our confort zone.

Instant gratification is a procrastination trap. You’re so used to having things happen instantly, you begin to think that everything should happen right now.

When you come across something that takes a little more time to come together, you become anxious. Then, you decide to leave it alone, because it’s not happening fast enough.

This leads to you procrastinating on many things, simply because it doesn’t happen right away. Realize that it takes time for some things to fall into place – all you have is time. Prepare yourself with patience and realize that everything doesn’t come about within a moment’s notice.

The Progressive Mindset

In order to make progress, it starts in your mind. Your mind is your first line of defense when it comes to obtaining information and processing it.

Your environment may be bad, your friends may be critical and your luck may not be going good, but you still have a choice. Don’t let the limitations around you affect your way of thinking.

When you think, think of positive things. Think about improving yourself, achieving that goal, having a good day, helping someone in need, or receiving good news. It may not turn out the way you think, but you learn to accept things the way they are and adjust, so you can make changes.

Progress happens when you’re able to shift your thinking and adapt to any outcome that may happen. Procrastination will hold you back from even making that first attempt, but a positive mindset will allow you to follow through and create a solution.

Procrastination Begins With Small Steps

Once you find a solution, you can begin to step into your life. As long as you don’t let procrastination stop you, you will eventually develop a productive habit.

When you get into the practice of actually starting, it’s not as hard as it seems. Begin with something small and easy to accomplish. This will have a snowball effect – the more you do it successfully, the better you can accommodate bigger tasks with confidence.

Taking small steps isn’t frightening. It’s small enough to begin, but big enough to get you going in the right direction, away from procrastination.

Outside factors can have an influence on how you move. Don’t let your environment intimidate you and don’t let small-minded people convince you to stay complacent. Starting small is better than not starting at all.

Beating Procrastination

Overcoming the habit of procrastination won’t be easy. It’s not something you can expect to happen within 24 hours. The best time to start is always NOW.

Like anything else, making progress will take time and effort to establish and maintain. There are many distractions working against you already, but as long as you don’t expect things to happen instantly, have the right mindset and take small steps, it’ll all come together.

Procrastination comes in many different forms, but you can handle it. With the right outlook, you can defeat the battle of putting things off and become more productive and dynamic with your goals.

#BeGoalden

Confront Your Weakness And Conduct Your Goal

Confront Your Weakness, Conduct Your Goal

It can be difficult to realize your own weakness. When you’re busy following a plan to make your goals happen, chances are, you’ll hit roadblocks. These are placed in your way to build our tenacity and knowledge.

What happens when you come across a weakness that could slow the momentum of your process? If you don’t know how to do something, how do you continue to make improvements?

Think about who you know. Is there anyone else who can do the task better than you can? Could you possibly help them in any way?

Acknowledge Your Weakness

Knowing you have a weakness is smart. It doesn’t mean you are flawed or broken. We all have weaknesses that we need to actively recognize.

On the other hand, we brag about our strengths and what we do well, all day long. Everyone knows what we’re good at and we make sure they know it. Your strength is not the issue, but knowing your weakness, is.

Admitting your weakness is the first step. Putting your ego aside is the best thing to do, because that’s the only thing holding you back from moving forward. Remember not to get emotional – focus on what needs to be done to reach your desired results.

Make Your Weakness Into A Strength

If you know someone who is great at what you are lacking, use them to your advantage. Have them fill in the blanks to keep the ball rolling in your favor.

We’re all good at something. If you aren’t a good writer, have someone else to do the writing. Every part is important – there’s no need to neglect a certain part, just because you’re not good at it.

Sometimes, we get caught up in thinking we can do everything ourselves, but it becomes overwhelming. Instead of creating stress for yourself, allow someone else to shine their light into your darkness.

It doesn’t make you any less of a person to ask for help. Actually, you are ensuring that you provide solid and reliable results. When you can look at it that way, you’re on your way to another level.

The Conductor Of Your Success

Be the conductor of your goals. It’s not going to happen on it’s own. Build a team of strength around you to maintain and improve your outcome.

A conductor controls the orchestra. Everyone plays their instrument and they play their particular instrument well. The conductor doesn’t play all of the instruments by him/herself.

The conductor leads everyone to play loud, soft, long notes, short notes, and emphasizes dramatic moments within the music. Everyone plays their part and the result is beautiful music.

The flute doesn’t play the saxophone’s part and the tuba doesn’t play the bell’s part. Each instrument has it’s specific melody to play. Everyone has a strength to contribute.

Your Orchestra Of Tasks

Your goal will demand different tasks in order to make it all come together. It’s your job to be the conductor and to make sure that every part is as strong as you can make it.

Don’t be the weak link. Replace yourself with someone stronger and dependable. Attempting to do everything yourself is a recipe for disaster.

There will still be obstacles and challenges to address, but that shouldn’t stop you. By placing the right people with the right tasks, your goal will be accomplished with quality and satisfaction.

#BeGoalden

If You Settle Now, You’ll Regret It Later

Some people choose to settle for what they already have. It’s not such a bad thing, but know that you are capable of more.

As 2019 comes to a close, think about the goals you had in place to accomplish this year. All of the challenges and obstacles you faced have brought you to this point.

The end of the year is quickly approaching, but don’t let that stop you from making progress. It may be the end of the year, but as far as your goals are concerned, it’s not over.

Even if you’ve achieved way more than you thought you would, it’s no excuse to settle and coast these last few weeks – stay 5 steps ahead and finish strong.

What Happens If You Settle?

You may not have hit your target before the end of the year, but don’t beat yourself up over it. Take a look at where you are now, compared to this time last year.

There are new things you have learned on your journey. You may have even met some new people along the way. You’ve made it farther than you’ve imagined and that’s something to be proud of.

If you decide to settle and stop working towards your goal, nothing will happen. All of your hard work will have been for nothing. The most disappointing part is, you will live wondering what would have happened if you would’ve kept going.

Settling Is Comfortable

It’s easy to settle. You don’t have to spend any extra time and energy with all the thinking and being productive anymore. It feels rather comfortable and nice.

Some people are glad you stopped going so hard – now, you’ve made them feel comfortable, too. They don’t feel threatened by your ambition anymore and everyone is on the same level again.

This isn’t what really needs to happen. Actually, you should probably just take a break and then get back to taking action. Don’t be so quick to give up. Taking the easy way out may be convenient at the time, but don’t settle, just continue to be persistent. You’ll be glad you did in the end.

Your Potential Is Greater Than Fear

Many things will make you want to give up. It seems like nothing is working out and you’re just tired and ready to tap out. Distractions will present themselves as opportunities to quit.

You begin to think it’ll never happen. It may take longer than you thought. Maybe it’s time to cut your losses.

Actually, who knows how much longer it will be until you succeed? What if it happens tomorrow? How will you know?

The key is to keep going until you find out what happens. Allow your potential to light your path to the end. Remain positive and ignore the comforts of complacency.

Never Cheat Yourself

Other people’s success always looks simple. The fact is, you didn’t see them when they were going through the same struggle as you. You only see the results.

They wouldn’t have arrived at that outcome, had they settled. If they listened to their friends and family, they never would’ve seen those results.

Discipline, focus, a strong mindset and the ability to overlook the naysayers will give you the ability to finish strong. Whatever others say about you should not dictate how you feel or how you move. Realize that you’re more than that!

Never cheat yourself by settling. Keep going and see what’s in store. Work through your fear and the negative talk in your head. No matter how long it takes, it’s better than giving up and settling for nothing.

#BeGoalden