April 2019 - The Goalden Lady

How To Get Past Your Fear Of Success

Do you sabotage your own success? When something makes you uncomfortable, do you ignore it? When someone asks you to do something different, does it make you cringe? You may have a fear of success and not even know it.

Actually, it’s the change that you really fear. It’s a safe, cozy and familiar environment where you are, but that won’t help your personal growth. The unknown can be scary, but living with the regret of not taking a chance, is even scarier.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of – many people have a fear of success, whether they know it or not. You could be holding yourself back from blossoming into your own life.

What Are The Symptoms?

If you have any of the following symptoms, you could have a fear of success:

You don’t take calculated risks
You make excuses when you fail
You reject promotions
Your life has been the same for years
You don’t attempt to improve your life
You do the same thing, day in and day out
You turn down new experiences
You always brush off suggestions
You aren’t open to change
You talk negatively about other successful people

Moving Past Your Fear Of Success

This may be difficult, but it’s not impossible. You will need to expand your mind and be open to doing something different.

Be okay with changing your mind. It happens everyday – people change their mind about things. Nothing is written in stone. Sometimes, we forget that we have the power of making a simple choice. When you change your mind, it means you’re thinking. You are considering the possibilities and outcomes of certain situations. Doing the same thing everyday makes you a robot – you’re just going through the motions. It all starts with trusting yourself enough to change your mind.
Get out of your comfort zone. We all have a comfort zone, where we like to stay because it doesn’t change and we know what to expect. If you want something different, you must do something different. It can be as simple as taking another route to work or doing something different with your hair. When you do something out of the ordinary, things begin to happen. Opportunities may come or you may discover something new that you like. Being comfortable may provide a form of stability, but deciding to do something different will give you ‘new life.’
Say ‘yes’ to new opportunities. Normally, you shut down when something new comes into your life. Let’s change that – whatever it may be, just say ‘yes’ and see where it takes you! It may be uncomfortable at first, but stick with it and know that you can do it. If it’s not for you, at least you know and you can say that you attempted to do it. If it is something that allows you to grow on another level of your life, you win! Don’t be afraid to do something that you don’t normally do – that’s how you grow.

Success Favors The Bold

You won’t be able to achieve anything if you don’t take a chance. If it won’t kill you, find your courage and give it a chance.

Do the opposite of what you would normally think. Being a robot will lead to an unexciting and dull existence. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest, with people who bring out the best in you!

The fear of success is real. If you have it, be confident and make it better. Yes, you will fail (learn) along the way, but it happens to all of us. On the other side of fear is success and it is very well within your reach.

#BeGoalden

Don’t Be Hard On Yourself

We tend to be hard on ourselves, unnecessarily. If we do something wrong, we get angry with ourselves, or if we don’t know enough, we stop altogether. Just know that you are doing great, as long as you keep moving forward!

Success isn’t easy. It’s an uphill battle, having to deal with the different challenges and obstacles. There will be many different things that will make you want to quit, but you must find your focus and follow through, even on your bad days.

Judgment From Others

Others will judge you and say insulting things that will make you want to give up. They don’t know the work it takes to achieve a goal. It’s easy to ridicule someone, but it’s more difficult to fight on and win.

Know that you’re doing fine. You are the one making the sacrifices, putting in the odd hours and making adjustments. They aren’t doing the work – you are.

Being lazy and pointing fingers isn’t going to carry you to success. That’s why you’re spending your time wisely, doing things that aren’t comfortable and diligently working.

Failure Is Learning

Don’t let others make you feel bad about what you’re doing – failure is a requirement of achievement. Failure is only learning, it’s not the end! It doesn’t mean you have to stop – in fact, it means you need to keep going!

Being hard on yourself only slows down your progress. Learn to feed your faith and starve your doubt. Be your own cheerleader. Find something good in your day that will spark your mind and give you new ideas.

Celebrate The Small Wins

You have something to be proud of and you should recognize that. Give yourself credit for the little things that are helping you move the needle. Over time, the small wins will carry you to the big wins. Small or big, you’re still improving!

There are people who are trying to stop you already, so don’t stop yourself. You must be your own motivator and your own inspiration. Stop depending on others to give you permission to fulfill your dream.

Criticism Will Never Go Away

Trolls and critics will always be there – they’re not going anywhere. Unfortunately, that’s a given. As a matter of fact, you know you’re doing something right whenever a troll or a critic pops up to say something negative about you.

It’s one of those things you must get used to. Build your mind to be strong enough to take the toughest insult. Use it as motivation and fuel to keep going, so actually, they’re helping you towards your results.

You Didn’t Come This Far, Just To Come This Far

Allowing insults and negativity to make you second guess your path is not the type of feedback you need on your journey, so don’t accept it.

You are here for a reason and to give up now would be giving up on all of the hard work that you’ve done so far. It takes a special kind of person to believe in themselves, especially when no one else does, but you have what it takes!

Give yourself a break and don’t be so hard on yourself. Continue to grow and focus on what’s in front of you – baby steps. Don’t let anything stop you from moving forward.

#BeGoalden

The Process Of Getting To The End Result

Planning goals can be overwhelming. There are many things to decide and put into place, in order to get to the end result, because that’s what we want, right?

Getting to the end result is the priority, but there’s much to do before that. There’s a few things that need to be done first, before you meet your success.

Create A Plan

Creating a plan gives you a blueprint to go by. Even though you have a plan, be sure you leave room for flexibility. Anything can happen and you should be prepared to accommodate those new ideas that come up at the spur of the moment.

No one’s plan is ever perfect – it changes as you go along. The plan is actually there to give you an idea of where you’re going and how you’re going to get there.

Write it all down. Keeping it in your head only gives you the option to procrastinate. If you write it down where you can see it, you’re more likely to follow through. It also allows you to see the big picture, while working on the small details.

Make The Commitment

This is a big one. People want the end result, but they don’t want to do the work or sacrifice their weekends, among other things. They would rather skip the process and go straight to accomplishing their goal.

It looks simple on social media, but what you don’t see is the commitment that was made. No one ever posts the uphill battles or the disappointments they experience. You must know that you will commit to taking action in order to see the results you want.

Make the commitment that you will continue to move forward, even if obstacles get in your way. Before you take any type of action, make the commitment in your mind that you will show up, no matter what happens.

Decide To Do Whatever It Takes

Once you make the commitment, you have to take action. Nothing happens until you take action.

It may be the wrong type of action, but you won’t know until you do it. If it is the wrong action, turn around and do something else until you get it right. Be determined to find a new way.

One of the biggest challenges is that people will say they want it and take action, but as soon as something doesn’t go their way or they run into too much ‘work,’ they decide it’s not for them and they quit.

Do whatever it takes. The more you stop, the more you have to keep starting over. After you make the mental commitment, take action and keep going, even when it gets hard.

The End Result

Depending on your goal, it may take days, months, or even years before you reach the end result, but you must follow through if you want to see it happen.

There will be difficult times – it’s not supposed to be easy. This is what separates you from the average people. Your motivation will be tested, but as long as you keep moving forward and eliminate the excuses, you will reach your intended results.

Be extraordinary. Do what others are too lazy to do. The more action you take, the closer you’ll get to your goal. Don’t be afraid to do what needs to be done to achieve your success!

#BeGoalden

Are You Cheating Yourself?

What do you do when no one is looking? Are you the same person? Do you sneak an extra cookie? Do you skip putting money into your savings?

Your character and integrity are best defined as what you do when no one is looking. Some of us have the same, disciplined demeanor, as if someone is watching us all of the time. Others of us, think a little differently.

What Are You Doing?

When you have a goal, everyday can be a challenge. The plan to make it to the next level can be trying, especially if you’re doing it alone.

No one may be watching, but you know what you’re doing. Your guilty conscious will reprimand you with the quickness. It hurts just as bad as getting caught by someone else.

Why Cheat?

Most people cheat themselves for one of two reasons: either they’re a bad person, or they don’t believe in their own abilities.

The first reason is obvious. There are just some bad people in the world and they seem to always have a ‘better idea’ about how to do something. They will take every chance they can to get over, not realizing that they’re only creating a negative pattern for themselves.

The second reason has to do with limiting beliefs. You think that you’re unable to perform at a decent level, so you cheat. This only drives you further into your own disbelief about yourself, because you’ll feel even worse after you’ve cheated.

Bet on yourself and have confidence. Confidence won’t allow you to cheat yourself. You can do anything, as long as you stick to the plan and respond accordingly to any situation. Know that you can do it, even if it doesn’t work out the first time.

Always Do The Right Thing

Even if no one is there to make sure you are acting within your responsibilities, you should want to do the right thing. That’s what makes you dependable and trustworthy.

So many people will try to cut corners and get away with things that they know are wrong. They may think they’ve figured out a better way, but life doesn’t work that way. It may appear to work for the moment, but it all works against you in the end.

When You Cheat, You Suffer

You may feel that eating one more piece of cake won’t matter. Or spending your savings won’t hurt.

In both cases, you may not see the effects of it at that moment, but it will come back to haunt you. When you get on that scale and you gained, instead of losing weight. Or, when your water heater breaks down and you’re stuck microwaving tap water to take a shower (good luck with that).

Don’t suffer your own consequences. We are all fully aware of what’s right and what’s wrong. Whether you do it in front of someone, or by yourself, it doesn’t matter – always act with integrity.

The End Result

Be level-headed. Don’t let little things tempt you to take shortcuts. It’s almost, always, never worth it.

We only have so much control in our daily lives, so why make it harder on ourselves by cheating? If you do things right the first time, you won’t have to suffer the outcome later.

Use your energy for good. Be consistent with your attitude and actions, inside and out. Besides – you never know who’s watching.

#BeGoalden

The Kylie Jenner Distraction Effect

Kylie Jenner has been labeled as the youngest self-made billionaire.

That has been the headline for the past few weeks and some of us just don’t know what to do with it or how to take it. There’s one thing for sure…

It’s a huge distraction.

How Distractions Start

Most distractions start with controversial statements. These controversial statements are mostly seen in politics, religion and entertainment.

Someone will say how they feel, someone else will disagree with it and then it starts. Everyone wants to be right and prove the others wrong. We’ve lost the art of respectfully disagreeing.

This is how people become distracted and their focus begins to shift. Now, we’re more focused on why Kylie is the first ‘self-made billionaire,’ yet, we haven’t started working on our own goals.

Going Down The Distraction ‘Black Hole’

Whether Kylie made those phone calls, sent those emails or came up with the chemicals for the makeup herself, it really doesn’t matter.

At the same time, we are worrying about if she really did it herself or if her money made it easier for her and so on. We obsess over if she is really self-made or if her family’s name had anything to do with it.

Her success is a never-ending conversation. Her life is going on, whether you agree with her new title, or not. We are steadily going down this black hole of distraction and it’s hard to stop, because we want so desperately to be right – we want to escape our own reality, by talking about hers.

Let’s Become Self-Made

Instead of being overly concerned about who she is and how she earned her money, let’s shift the focus back to ourselves. How are we going to be self-made? How far along are you with reaching your goal? Have you been keeping up with your own life?

Keep your eyes on your prize. What other people do with their money or how they make their money shouldn’t be any of your concern. The concern is, how are you going to put a dent in the universe?

Obsess over your own plan. Worry about how you’re going to get the results that you want. Don’t let the distractions of others stop you from achieving your goals.

Focus On Yourself

Before you even begin to have an opinion about anything else, work on yourself. Be self-aware. Know who you are.

We get so caught up in other people’s lives, that we forget to nourish our own. People say things, just to throw us off. Distractions are very real.

While the world is debating if she is deserving of that title or not, Kylie is still making money and living her life. It’s not bothering her on the same level as it is bothering everyone else.

Put your time, thoughts and effort into building your dream. Stop allowing these distractions to overwhelm your conversations and your personal space.

Reclaim your time and put the focus back onto you.

#BeGoalden

How To Keep Your Commitment

Commitment is a big part of success. Without it, there’s no way you can achieve your plan.

Being committed to something is quite noble. You are letting yourself, or others, know that this is what you’re going to do and nothing will stop you. It’s a huge responsibility to take on.

Why Does Commitment Seem So Hard?

Making a commitment is a process. First, you must make the decision to commit to what you are doing. Secondly, you have to actually follow through with your commitment.

There are two ways we see our goals – the big picture and the small picture. The big picture is the end result. It’s the place we’re attempting to get to. It’s the final step that produces your success.

The small picture, or the more detailed picture, is what happens along the way. This is where the daily commitment actually takes place. This is the part where most people stumble because this is where you put in the work.

Start With Small Commitments

In order to succeed (the big picture), you must follow through with small, actionable steps (small picture). We all want to lose weight, but when it comes down to the actual process of eating right and exercising, that’s where our plans fall apart.

Figuring out how to get to the big picture can be overwhelming and this is what slows us down. The main thing to remember is to start small.

Let’s start by putting on our sneakers and walking out the door. Even if that’s all you do, it’s a start and you know how it feels to do it. Instead of thinking about walking a mile, walk to the nearest tree.

This may seem unproductive, but it’s not. It all starts with taking baby steps. The reason we don’t walk a mile is because our mind makes it seem impossible and then, we end up sitting down. Your mind will defeat you.

You Have To Crawl Before You Can Walk

After you walk to the tree, see how it feels. Do you feel like you can go a little more? Then walk to the corner.

Before you know it, you will have walked a mile by the end of the week! What seemed impossible has been conquered! Most of all, you stuck to your commitment!

This is how you start any and everything. No one was born into success, but we all have the ability to make the commitment and work towards it.

Even a baby has to crawl, before she walks. When she falls, she doesn’t just sit there and thinks, “This is not for me.” She gets up and continues to make every attempt to walk until she does it.

Keep Going!

When you start to build your momentum, keep going! Do a little bit more, everyday. The more you have done, the closer you are to your goal.

Every little bit helps. You don’t have to do so many things in a small period of time – just make sure you keep your eyes on the big picture, but keep taking the small steps to get there.

Commitment is the secret sauce to success, but it must be done consistently. If you stop at any point, you lose your energy and you’ll have to start over. And it sucks to start over, so make the commitment to keep going!

#BeGoalden

How To Bounce Back From A Setback

We all have them – setbacks that happen and turn our lives upside down. Whether you were expecting it or not, setbacks have a way of making you feel less than your best.

Your initial reaction to a setback is mostly based on emotion. You may go through a period of self-reflection, think of ways you could have avoided it, or you could just be plain angry that it happened.

It may not seem productive, but one of the best things you can do is get it out of your system. Think those thoughts, scream in your pillow – do whatever it takes for you to eliminate those negative feelings, because you don’t want to keep coming back to them, after you decide to move on.

Move Into Your New Future

It’s very hard to see what the future will bring. You may have already had your future planned out and now, you have to make some changes.

Once you’ve given yourself time to get those raw emotions out of your system, get on with it and make new plans. This is the time where you get to make adjustments for a better outcome.

Move into your new future. It may not look good while you’re going through your setback, but imagine what you want and how you plan to get it. You could even keep your old plan, but now, you just have to create a new route to get there.

Check Your Perspective

Your perspective can be a game-changer. Anything can be good or bad, depending on how you choose to look at it.

Maybe your setback needed to happen, so you could put yourself in a better position to receive an opportunity. Or, it may have happened because it really wasn’t helping you toward your personal goals.

People rarely check their perspective when going through a challenge. In hindsight, you’ll see what needed to happen in order for things to fall together in your favor. We never see it while we’re actually in it, but make an attempt to see it now, rather than later.

Changing your perspective can also give you the determination you need to follow through. Having to deal with change is hard enough, but if you can keep a positive outlook, it can pull you through some tough times.

A Setback Is Part Of The Come Up

When you have setbacks, it’s not the end. Think of it as the foundation of your come up.

How many times have you worried about something, only to find out later that it wasn’t worth worrying about? We’ve been taught to think the worst about everything, but when we shift our thoughts to something more positive, we can be more productive.

Being more productive allows you to make sound decisions and take action. This is the beginning of your come up and you are in control of making it happen. This is where you begin to build your new story.

It’s Not The End

For most people, a setback paralyzes them. They don’t know what to do and they become confused and stagnant.

When you think about it, this is where people start to grow. Look at it as the beginning of a new chapter in your life. You’re smarter and you get to direct all of your moves and go where you want to go.

Although it may be difficult, don’t give up on yourself. You are better than you think you are. Instead of leaving it up to someone else, take a chance and do it the way you want to. If something else goes wrong, don’t run from it – deal with it. Lean into your new future, change your perspective and create your come up.

You got this. Always bet on yourself.

#BeGoalden

Motivation 101 – How Motivation Works

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” Jim Rohn

Before you set out to do anything, there has to be something there that makes you want to do it. It could be a person who encourages you, a life or death situation or a lack of a resource, such as money. Whatever it is, it motivates you to become better.

Motivation is how you begin. It sparks something in you that forces you to want change. After that initial spark, it’s your choice to make the next move.

What You Should Do, When Motivation Hits

Don’t wait. It’s best to start right away when you experience that motivational spark. It’s a sign telling you to act now! If you aren’t in a place where you can take action immediately, take out your phone and write it down. Be sure to handle it before the end of the day. Procrastinating will only decrease your desire to begin.
Keep it positive. Instead of thinking of how it won’t work, think of how it will work. Being negative about it will work against you and before you know it, your idea dies. Stay positive about your intentions. Avoid killing the idea in your head before you have the opportunity to work on it.
Stay focused. When working on your idea, the hardest part is remaining focused. There are many distractions (and people) that will convince you to give up or make you think that this isn’t for you. Your idea deserves to be acknowledged and brought to completion, but you can only do this with laser focus.

The Wrong Motivation

People think that motivation is all good, but there can be bad motivation, as well.

There may be situations where you aren’t in the best place. You begin to have ideas that you think will save you, but it’s simply a bad idea.

Times like these can be very tempting, but you must go about it in the right way. Even when you’re hanging around a bad crowd, it can be easy to go with the flow and become motivated to do the wrong thing.

Your thoughts can be your most powerful leader. As challenging as life can be, think through your circumstances and always do the right thing. Remember the good motivation to help you get through.

Motivation Opens You To Opportunities

When you maintain a positive mindset, things around you will change in your favor. It’s not that it wasn’t there before, it’s just that you’re now seeing it because you have a new outlook.

Motivation clears your mind of the negative clutter and allows you to see new possibilities. It gives you the chance to experience different things and in return, new opportunities will appear.

Some people say that motivation doesn’t work. Anything will work if you use it correctly.

Put Yourself In The Right Mindset

We all have to start somewhere. Motivation is that start for most people. If you continue to use it to your advantage and practice with it on a daily basis, you will see that it works for you, as opposed to working against you.

Listen to those motivational podcasts and read motivational content. It will help you, more than it will hurt you. Sometimes, all you need is to be reminded that you are more than capable of achieving your dreams.

#BeGoalden

How To Get Lucky In Life

“They’re just lucky.” That phrase is used so often, some people actually believe it.

Life isn’t fair. Should we all have been born rich? Snap our fingers and have what we want? Have things go our way, everyday?

Being lucky sounds great in theory, but imagine what kind of person you would be, if everything automatically happened for you. We all have a different opinion of how awesome it would be to have a manufactured life.

Now that we know that life really isn’t fair, let’s work the other angle. Since it isn’t fair, how do we go about turning it around in our favor and making our own luck?

Control Your Lucky Mindset

Don’t be the person who always find excuses as to why you aren’t lucky and how it will always be this way. Think on the other side of your mind for a change.

What can you do to shift your thoughts? Be positive. If you need help, watch videos or listen to podcasts to get you started. You won’t become successful just by listening and watching, but it may get the wheels in your mind turning and spark you to take action.

We can be so hung up on what won’t happen, that we forget that we have the power to make things happen. You’ll be surprised at how far you can go if you actually put your mind to it.

Create Daily Lucky Habits

Doing the same thing everyday, will get you what you already have. Nothing.

If you want your situation to change, you have to change what you do. Start building new habits that lean towards the life you want for yourself.

Begin with the basics of minding your money and your health. These are things that are easy to overlook, but we could always improve and become better.

Saving a portion of your money and exercising everyday will build discipline in other areas of your life. Once you see those results, you’ll want to form more habits that contribute to the vision of your life.

Be Luckily Responsible

The best thing you can do for yourself is take responsibility for your life. No, it may not be fair, but that doesn’t mean you should sit back and let anything happen.

Hold yourself accountable. Save yourself. Do what needs to be done and don’t look for anyone else to do anything for you. Blaming and complaining will not get you anywhere.

It’s so easy to be lazy and talk about how she had a ‘head start in life’ and how he ‘received a trust fund from his parents.’ This may be true, but it has nothing to do with you and your abilities.

They are not your responsibility. You are responsible for your own actions. Do what it takes to move your life to the next level. Worrying about how someone else has it better than you is ridiculous, because it doesn’t help your situation. Focus on yourself.

Be Your Own Luck

Luck has everything to do with your mindset, habits and responsibility. This is how you beat the unfairness of life – you shape your own luck. Be willing to dedicate your time and use your resources wisely if you want the life of your dreams.

Stop looking at what others have and concentrate on your own plan. Watching someone else’s life causes you to compare your life to theirs and that’s where you’re being unfair to yourself.

Be glad that you get to create your own life, as opposed to someone handing it to you on a silver platter. It may take time and diligence, but it’s your creation. This is your opportunity to grow into your greatness, not someone else’s.

Lose those daily excuses and constant complaining. Take that energy and use it towards becoming the magnificent person that you are.

#BeGoalden