Month: April 2018

Whether we realize it or not, we set goals almost everyday. We may call it a plan, to-do list, or an arrangement, but it’s all a series of tasks to get an end result. Sometimes, it’s hard to get started on the bigger goals and dreams that we have for ourselves. Work and life may get in the way and we put it off for a more convenient time. Monday seems to be the day where everyone starts over. In that case, everyday should be Monday.

When we make plans to go on a diet or start a new business, most of us tend to put it off until Monday. I’m not sure what’s significant about Monday, but it just seems like a good starting point. Monday is the day where we come back from the weekend and we’re ready to get our week off to a great start (at least, in our minds). Then, something happens.

We find a tiny excuse that makes us put it off until the next Monday – not the next day, but the next Monday. That’s an entire week. Do you know what could have happened in an entire week? No, because we plan to start next Monday. The cycle repeats itself and you never actually get started.

Excuses are what makes us start again, on Monday.

“The dog doesn’t look too good – I’ll do my exercises next Monday.”
“She looked at me funny – I’ll do it next Monday.”
“I’m just tired – I’ll see how I feel next Monday.”

If your boss says to turn in a report on a certain day, you turn it in on that day, no matter what it takes. Let’s treat our goals and dreams the same way. The same effort we put into our jobs is the same (or more) effort we should put into our goals and dreams. Putting things off is like saying it’ll get done in five years.

Don’t allow tiny excuses to hold you back. Everyday is Monday. If something is truly not letting you start today, do it tomorrow. There’s nothing wrong with starting a diet on a Tuesday or any other day. Monday is not the magical starting point for success. Whether you start on a Wednesday or Saturday, success can happen at any time. Therefore, begin working on your goals and dreams, at anytime.

There’s never a perfect time to start, so just do it. To make it even easier, make everyday a Monday. This way, you will work on your goals and dreams everyday. After all, everyday is a new opportunity to start over and make things better.

Yes, everyday is Monday.

Everybody has challenges and issues. We do the best we can, with what we know and have. It’s not selfish to put yourself first because you are the star of your own life. It’s enough to handle your own situations, let alone, someone else’s. Don’t let other people’s hang-ups become yours.

When you’re working on your goal, there’s always someone there to make a sideways comment. Some people would let that stop them, because they don’t want to be seen as ‘selling out’ or someone who has ‘changed’. These people are putting their self-limiting beliefs on you. They want you to feel bad because they feel bad about not doing anything productive. Instead of bringing you down, they should level up.

Even when you are doing good with your work, someone will have an opinion. Don’t let that ONE opinion make you second guess what you’re doing. Get used to opinions. Be strong enough to block them out of your mind and keep moving. The only thing that matters is what you’re doing, so don’t let it throw you off. Keep your focus on you and not what they say.

Taking on other people’s issues does not help them. You may think you’re being helpful and your intentions may be genuine, but the truth is, everyone has to fight their own battles. When you take on someone else’s issues, you bring yourself into it emotionally and it’s not even yours to deal with. You begin to feel guilty because it didn’t turn out the way it was supposed to. They begin to depend on you whenever something happens. When it doesn’t work out, they blame you, but it’s not your issue.

It’s fine to be supportive, but at the same time, you have your own life to live. Don’t let other people’s hang-ups consume you. You have your own work to do. Everything that happens in your life is based on your decisions. No one controls your life and you don’t control anyone else’s life.

Again, it’s not being selfish, but realize that everyone is responsible for themselves. Being helpful and supportive is awesome, but you must draw the line somewhere. If you don’t, you’ll end up making someone else’s issue, your own. When you’re on an airplane, the emergency rule is to put your mask on first, THEN help others with their masks. You’re unable to help others if you don’t help yourself first.

DISCLAIMER: If you see a hungry child on the street, I’m not saying to pass them by and say, “It’s your issue, not mine.” By all means, help – it’s the human thing to do. This post is in reference to people who have made a career out of making others come to their rescue and those who put their responsibilities on others.

For those of you who have experience with three year olds, you know what it’s like to take them to the grocery store. If you’re walking across the store and there happens to be an open aisle – ZOOM! The child will miraculously break free from your grip and take off running down the empty aisle!

It never fails. In a 3 year old’s world, that aisle is so open and welcoming – it’s freedom! They look so happy and confused, as they quickly stumble down the never-ending path. Who cares if pasta’s on sale? This is my chance and I’m going to take it!

Where did that feeling of infinite motivation stop? We were all born with it, but somewhere along the way, we became adults. Adults have responsibilities. Adults don’t make time for “silly” dreams. Adults have bills to pay and jobs to rush to.

If we can change our thinking, there is a possibility that we can run down the aisle at the grocery store (so to speak). Yes, life is happening, but we do have a choice to pursue it during our off time. We can even change our lives into something enjoyable and satisfying.

Off time is the time we aren’t at work. For example, you come home, have dinner, watch television, and go to sleep. That’s it. Rinse and repeat, five days in a row.

It’s going to take a little energy and focus, but you don’t have to be caught in that hamster wheel. Television is used for entertainment, but if you could take at least one hour away from your TV time and work on your goal, you’ll be farther along than you were last week, or even yesterday.

Weekends are for fun and unplugging – we should take advantage of that time to unwind. At the same time, there’s a one or two hour block of time that can be used for building a better future for yourself and your family.

Once you get started, it’s like a domino effect. After a while, you’ll be working on your goal every night and on the weekend. In essence, you’ll be running down the grocery aisle, seeing new things and exploring more options.

Whatever it takes, make it happen. See the opportunities and run down the aisle. Who cares what others say? So what if they laugh? You take your chance and chase it like a 3 year old! You won’t regret it!

In the end, no one can catch a 3 year old. It’s impossible. If they hit a barrier, they quickly charge in another direction. We all should follow our goals and dreams the same way.

This is The Goalden Lady’s 100th post! At one point, 100 seemed so far off and unattainable. What did it take to get to this point? Now, it looks like something that could be easily done, but that’s because all of the posts have been written and dated. It didn’t look this way a year ago.

Doubt, fear, and judgment played a factor in the creation of The Goalden Lady (TGL). The idea of it was exciting, fun, and optimistic in the beginning. That’s how most thoughts start out – you think of how much you can do and the way it will have a positive effect on the world. Then, a little voice in your head says, “You think you can really do all of that?”

Not only does the little voice in your head sucks, but the people around you begin to tell you the same thing. Negativity is just so easy! You become consumed with worrying about what other people will think, the fear of starting, and the self-doubt that happens, courtesy of that little voice in your head. It’s a lot to get over.

This is what TGL is all about. We want you to get over the doubt, fear, and judgment that surrounds you everyday. Just because we post about it doesn’t mean we still don’t have those types of challenges – we all face them everyday. There will always be someone there to criticize your ideas and the awesome things you’re doing. Slay the dragon and push through.

One hundred may seem small to the blogger with a thousand posts, but even he/she had to start somewhere. One hundred means a lot to TGL because we faced our fears and kept moving forward and we’re still going. We will celebrate our achievement of this 100th post because we deserve it! No matter what anyone says or thinks, go ahead and celebrate your wins along the way. When you see what you can accomplish, it gives you fuel to keep going.

We would like to thank you all for reading and being a part of TGL. Remember to be positive, help somebody, and continue to grow into your greatness!

Here’s to another 100!

Being accountable for your actions is a huge responsibility. It is a useful characteristic that should be learned early, so that it can form into a habit as a young adult. Today, we hear people talk about having an accountability partner to help keep you on track for different tasks. The best accountability partner you can have, is yourself.

Accountability is holding yourself responsible for efforts and tasks that need to be done. This also closely coincides with responsibility. When you have something to do, it is your responsibility. Having an accountability partner may help, but what happens when they don’t hold you accountable? The ultimate obligation depends on you. You will suffer the consequences, not your accountability partner.

This is why having an accountability partner doesn’t always work. It’s best to hold yourself accountable and handle your own responsibilities. Others may help, but the final outcome rests on your shoulders.

People who do not hold themselves accountable will blame others for any and everything. It’s always someone else’s fault.

“I didn’t pay the bill because she didn’t remind me!”
“I didn’t know the assignment was due today – my teacher only mentioned it once!”
“I’m sorry officer, but I’m telling you, the fire hydrant wasn’t there when I was parking.”

If you didn’t do what was supposed to be done, own up to it. Don’t blame others for what you were supposed to do. Even if you didn’t get it done, accept the fact that you slipped up, and move on. Blaming others for your mistakes is a surefire way of holding yourself back. It gets you absolutely no where.

Having an accountability partner may work, but just to be on the safe side, hold yourself accountable. There are many apps and reminders on your cell phone to help you with this. Technology may be a better choice as an accountability partner (if you must have one) than another human, but it’s your choice to make.

When you hold yourself accountable, it shows maturity. Besides, you shouldn’t want to hold someone else responsible for what you’re supposed to do. It’s your life and you’re in control – no one else. By holding yourself accountable, you will be able to make more things happen and rise to your greatest potential!

When working towards your goal, it can be overwhelming. It’s a lot to take in, considering other responsibilities in your life. Some people have the luxury of dedicating all of their time towards their dream, but there are others who have to make it happen after hours.

You may hear of some people who claim they’re working hard, doing it 24/7. They’re hustling morning, noon, and night. They portray a lifestyle where they never stop grinding. That’s fine, but at some point, you have to stop for a minute and breathe.

Don’t think you won’t achieve your goal just because you take some time for yourself. In fact, that’s the only way you can power forward. When you allow your mind and body to rest, you perform better. Your mind can develop new ideas and your body can physically function better on another level.

It’s good to give yourself a rest. Notice, I said rest, not quit. Let’s not confuse the two. You can rest and take a vacation or even just take an evening off. It becomes an issue when you rest and then you never get back to work. That’s just quitting in slow motion.

No one knows how long it will take to reach your goal. No matter what happens, continue to move forward. You’re not giving up. You need to breathe – we all need to breathe. Take the opportunity to rest and come back stronger. Make it a part of your plan. Wearing yourself down doesn’t help anything.

When you feel worn out, take a break. It’s okay to have some downtime. Just make sure you get back on track and finish strong. Breathe and go.

Everyone experiences fear. If you let it, fear can slowly pull you away from life’s opportunities. When it comes to achieving our goals, we can create fear in our mind and it stops us before we have the chance to start. We unconsciously teach babies how to fear and even other adults, too. Fear can either help you, or hurt you.

Fear can be a healthy thing. Yes, you should be afraid to put your hand on a hot stove. Running in traffic could possibly kill you. Drinking gasoline doesn’t sound like a good idea, so it’s probably not.

In those cases, fear is a good thing. When you fear something that you’ve never done and you know it can’t physically hurt you, that’s different. In this case, fear holds you back.

When you fear starting new tasks or ideas, it can hurt your potential. Learn to step into it. The whole idea of stepping into your fear is to make your fear disappear little by little, so you can complete whatever is challenging you. If you have a fear of water, step into it – don’t dive into the pool, but start by sitting on the side and dangling your feet. If you fear talking to strangers, step into it. Simply say ‘hi’ or ‘have a nice day’. It won’t hurt. Drink some water. You can do it.

Dealing with your goals and tasks can be tricky, because when you create the illusion of fear, you’re only stopping yourself. You may try to blame something else, but it’s up to you to make things happen. You are responsible for pushing your goals ahead. Don’t allow fear to stop you from moving forward.

We all have fears that we need to step into. Just take it one step at a time. Everyday, try to accomplish a little at a time. This is how you build yourself into a better person, day by day, one step at a time. Before you know it, months and years will go by and you will have become a stronger person, by stepping into your fears!

The effort it takes to control your life and work towards your goal is tremendous. No one can live your life the way you do. This is why it’s important to stay in a circle of positive people. When you are around the wrong crowd, it can make you feel less than. Just because they say something negative to you, doesn’t make it so. Don’t be hard on yourself because of what they say about you.

Do you know that you are doing more than most people right now? It may seem like you’re just reading this post, but a lot of people don’t read. Not only are you reading, you are reading to improve yourself and to become better. You could be reading some messy gossip blog about people who are already rich, but you chose not to. That speaks volumes.

When doing the work to reach your goals, no matter how long or short they are, it takes time and courage. Do you know how many people have ideas and don’t act on them? They don’t have the courage you have. You are in the game and making it happen. The scrapes and bruises and starting over doesn’t scare you, because you are in it to win it.

They talk about you, as if you are wasting your time. Their insecurities about themselves come out towards you, but you aren’t the problem. You are making progress, but they keep finding ways to bring you down to their level. This is why you find a better circle. Be with people who will give you words of encouragement and make you feel like you can accomplish anything.

The fact that you are taking action on your idea, puts you way ahead of those who just ‘think’. Taking control of your life is the key to growth. It all starts in your mind. You are there. You are already winning.

Don’t be hard on yourself.

As a child, we had wonderful ideas. We didn’t stop to think if it was stupid or awesome. All we did was take action and improve upon the finished project. There may have been a Debbie Downer in the bunch, but it didn’t stop us from bringing the idea to life. Being able to explore was our everyday adventure.

Somewhere down the line, someone told us, ‘that’s impossible,’ and we believed it. Our freedom of thought shifted to overthinking. We no longer rushed outside to see if we could do it. The idea of ‘it can’t be done’ killed our creativity. Our brilliant way of thinking just stopped.

How do we recapture our young mind? With work, bills, and stress, it’s kind of a challenge to reconnect with the freedom of thought we had when we were children. Now, our minds are tied up with why things aren’t going the way we want them to, among other things floating around in our heads.

Our freedom of thought hasn’t gone anywhere, it’s just been pushed to the back of our minds. It’s still there, waiting to be dusted off and put to good use.

We all have goals and dreams, but for some, that’s where it stops. Take some time to think it through and figure out how to make it happen. Once that’s done, all we need to do is put in the work.

“It takes too long,” or “I haven’t seen anything happen, yet.” That’s because your goal won’t work if you don’t do it. Don’t get confused – just because the goal is in your head, doesn’t mean it will come to life by your power of thinking. It’s going to take some work.

Just like when you were a child, go for it. Don’t allow anything to hold you back. Yes, we all have responsibilities to take care of and things we must get done, but there is some down time in your schedule somewhere. That down time is when you make it happen.

We can hope and wish for our dreams to come true, but it doesn’t happen that way. When we push ourselves towards our goals, opportunities will begin to appear. Don’t let an opportunity go by, because you were shocked that it actually came your way. Be ready to take it on – this is what you worked for! It’s yours, so take it!

Let’s not get stuck in the humdrum of life. Allow your thoughts to get you excited again, just like when you were a child. Make that fort, build that go cart, and entertain your sold out audience! Life is your adventure to create. No one wants to end their life, thinking how boring it was and how they should’ve done more. Remember, it won’t work if you don’t do it.