Month: December 2017

2017 has come and will soon be gone. Everyone’s talking about resolutions and things they want to accomplish in the “New Year”. This is all well and good, but here, at The Goalden Lady, we commit everyday.

Everyday is a new beginning. You didn’t fail your goal in March of 2017, and decided to wait for January 2018 before starting again (at least we hope you didn’t). For some people, it is that way, but we’re here to tell you that every day should have a “New Year” vibe. Bring in the “New Day” with the same excitement that you bring in the “New Year”. Go over what you’ve done every night and plan to make it better the next day. Commit to always working on your goals throughout the year, not just the beginning of every “New Year”.

When you wake up in the morning, whether you know it or not, that’s another opportunity. It’s another day, another chance. Don’t wait for the “New Year” to begin again. Start now. If not, start in the morning. Make that phone call. Create a plan. Talk to that person. Exercise. Decide to do it.

Don’t put it off until the “New Year”. Remember, you can always start right away. Don’t ever feel like you have to wait for a special day to begin. It’s your dream, so it’s up to you to make that decision and to see it through. Everyday is unique and it won’t repeat itself again, so continue to grow into your greatness.

Even though it’s Christmas, the greats still put in work. A new day is a new day, whether it’s your birthday or Thanksgiving or any other special day. It’s another chance to create, another chance to improve, another chance to take that opportunity to the next level.

Some people take off special days, and rightfully so. When you’ve been working day in and day out, you need to rest. Give your mind a moment to recharge and come up with new ideas. Spend time with your family and friends, without the digital connect. Put away the cell phone and tablet, and enjoy your surroundings. Reflect on what you’ve accomplished.

Personally, I’ve gotten so used to putting in work everyday, now it’s a habit that’s hard for me to break. I don’t feel right, unless I do something towards my goal. I’ve been up since early this morning, but I will definitely spend the rest of the day, relaxing and enjoying my family and friends. Take some time and enjoy yours, too.

Everyday, we have a choice as to how we react to various situations. Some people react to everything little thing and it can be very draining, even for those around them. Others react only when needed.I’m talking mostly about emotional reactions.

Let’s take road rage, for example. Someone cuts you off in traffic. Your first reaction is to flip them off or shout at them. I used to do this, but realized that it was just a waste of time and my valuable energy. Every morning when I went to work, it was the same scenario – heavy traffic, late for work, everyone’s in a rush, and someone cuts in front of me. The first reaction is to react in a way so that they know you are mad and they shouldn’t have done that to you. After a while, I started thinking, “We’re all in the same situation, trying to get somewhere, but going nowhere fast – why am I the one that’s mad?” Yes, I literally thought that to myself.

Another reaction would be to smile and be thankful that you were cautious enough to avoid an accident. It takes lots of practice to learn this type of reaction. I began to notice that once I finally got to work, I was less stressed and had better focus on starting my day. Who wants to show up for work mad everyday? That’s an awful way to start the day.

There are millions of cases where people react without thinking or go on their first reaction when something happens. Things can escalate quickly and some people have short fuses. There are better things you can channel your ‘madness’ to, instead of someone or something that doesn’t deserve your energy. Yes, being mad takes energy. You’ll be tired before lunch if you reacted to every negative situation you came across. Think about letting it go and saving your energy for something better, like your focus. When you focus your energy on your goals, or good things, you become better at what you do. I’ve learned to brush off things that people say about me or do to me. It’s not worth my time, nor my energy. If it’s that bad, they will get what they deserve – I am a firm believer in karma.

When I was in college, my then-boyfriend and I got into an argument and I, of course, was mad at him. During this time, I received a phone call saying that my uncle passed away unexpectedly. Nothing, after that moment, mattered to me. My uncle had just given me a ride to my dorm residence the day before. I worked with him almost everyday. Life put me in check. That argument, even though I don’t remember what it was, wasn’t even worth my breath or my energy. I learned two things: there are more important things to focus on and life is too short to be wasting your emotions on nonsense.

After that, I made it a point that nothing is worth my energy unless someone is dead, dying, or unusually sick. That is the only time you’ll see me lose it. Not because someone cut me off in traffic, or was disrespectful in the restaurant, or looked at me funny. These things will not take my energy and it shouldn’t take yours. It’s not even worth it. Yes, people make me angry, and it may make me react some, but not to the point where I blow my top and it affects the rest of my day. I choose to use that ‘angry’ energy to focus on doing something useful and resourceful for my life.

Once you get used to not over reacting to every situation that stimulates you, I promise you’ll feel better. It takes a long time to get to that point, but it’s well worth the practice. Besides, drama won’t get you anywhere, but into more drama.

The holidays are quickly approaching. There’s so much movement around you – people are shopping, getting ready for travel, or some have already taken off from work. Whenever some sort of holiday is around the corner, most people begin to slack off with their work, eating, exercising, etc. Yes, you can enjoy time off from everything, but don’t get off track.

We all can’t wait for that holiday dinner, time with family and friends, and a chance to relax from the rhythm of everyday living. You may want to sleep in or even hang out around town, just to do something different. It’s important to recharge yourself every once in a while.

Even when you have goals you’re working on, it’s just as important to take some time away. This allows you to not only relax, but to gain new ideas in the process. Sometimes, you’ll have a ‘why didn’t I think of that before’ moment and it pushes you to new levels with your work. That’s how ideas grow your goals and they begin to chug along.

Do take some time – DON’T take too much time. What is too much time? It depends on your work and how often you put forth your efforts. I trust that you know how long, is too long. This is your work and no one can push it and drive it the way you do. Don’t let up. Continue to work your plan. Just because the New Year is coming, doesn’t mean to celebrate and forget about your goals. If anything, the thought of the New Year should be exciting! It’s another chance to see how far you can advance your goal into reality.

Don’t let up. It is very easy to unwind, but it can be hard to get back on the grind. Don’t allow yourself to forget about what you were doing before the holiday. Set an alarm on your phone to let you know when you should officially start back. This will keep you on track and won’t let you get too lazy.

As the saying goes, “Work hard – play hard.” You have to work hard first, before you can play hard. Then, you have to get back to work, before you can play again. Sometimes, you can get so into the rhythm of working your goal, you don’t stop for the holidays. That’s great. For those who definitely need the breather, go ahead and enjoy. Just don’t let up.

Life would be less stressful, if we stopped worrying about things we can’t control. Most stress is caused by reacting to things and situations we are unable to regulate. Sometimes, we let our minds wander, wherever the wind takes us. When this happens, it forces a certain attitude. If we can learn how to get a grasp of our emotions, it would allow for a better outcome.

Let’s start with the basics. Things happen in life. Whether we want them to or not, it happens. It may be your fault, it may not be. The bottom line is, it happened. At this point, some people will get overly emotional and start playing the blame game.

“Why me?”
“What did I do to deserve this?”
“What am I going to do?”
“If he would have done that, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“She wasn’t supposed to do that!”

Now, let’s learn how to respond to the situations, instead of reacting to the situations. This is the part you can actually control. Think about what happened. Don’t just go haywire with your emotions. Figure out how to move past it. The solution may not be something you want to do at the moment, but nevertheless, it is a solution. You don’t want to spend your money to get the plumbing repaired. You can just sit there and think about how you don’t want to spend your money, or you can be glad that you have the money to spend and call the plumber and get back to your life. You do have options. Some people will just waste time because they don’t want to spend the money. Others will spend the money and go on with having plumbing that works, at their convenience.

There may be a time when you have a hot date and you’ve picked out your outfit. While you’re getting ready, you spill some lemonade on the shirt. “Oh my goodness! There’s lemonade on my date night shirt!” You can go crazy, trying to figure our how to wash it in time or get the lemonade stain out. Or, you could just pick out another shirt, go on the date and choose to wear the lemonade shirt on the second date. Stop letting your emotions take over. It’s not that deep. Do what you can control.

Don’t whine about it. The world is not over, just because something happened that wasn’t supposed to. You can’t control what happens, but you can certainly control how you react or respond to it. Reacting is having the emotional outbursts. Responding is figuring out what to do next, even if it is an unpopular choice, and moving on. No one’s really paying attention to you -everyone is worried about themselves. Control what you can and lead a less stressful, happier life.

Life is different for everyone. We all have our own unique journey to navigate every single day. Showing compassion or common decency towards one another should be a no-brainer, but it’s hard for some people to do. It takes such negative mental energy to sit there and actually contemplate being mean to others. These type of desperate, attention-seeking people are called bullies.

Yes, bullies. They prey on those that are smaller than them or who are unable to defend themselves. The only way they can make themselves feel good is by picking on others who are less likely to fight back. They are emotionally insecure about themselves. They can’t figure out how to help themselves, so they beat up and torture others. It’s the same thing, day in and day out. They have nothing else better to do than to pick on other people, who are doing something constructive with their lives. They make think so, but there is no strength in being a bully.

For those who have had encounters with bullies, there is nothing wrong with you! You are awesome! Know that you aren’t in this battle alone and there are people you can talk to. Do not let that bully make you think that you are weak or not enough, because you ARE enough! There are people who love you and care about you. Bullies will say anything to try and break you. They are hiding from their own problems and they take them out on others. Please know, there’s nothing wrong with you, it’s something wrong with them! Don’t dare think about ending your life – please find someone to talk to who can help. It’s not the end of the world, because you have so much to give and contribute. Your life is not over! Greatness will come from you, so continue to be your best!

Bullies, get some help. All of you can not just be mean to others, without there being an underlying problem within yourself. Stop showing your insecurities to the same people everyday, making their life a living hell. They aren’t the ones with the issue, you are. Figure out how to solve your problems and leave others alone. There is too much else to focus on, than following the same person around day after day and doing stupid things to them. Get a goal and put your energy into that. Maybe that’ll solve your bully problem and show you that being a bully is not the way to go.

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Don’t be a bully.

There is no certain way for parents to raise their children. Some children come from a bad environment and turn out bad – some children come from a bad environment and turn out good. It all comes down to choices and decisions.

When someone gets in trouble, the first thing they do is blame their upbringing:
“My mother was an alcoholic, that’s why I drink so much.”
“My dad was a gambler, that’s why I’m not good with money.”
“My mom didn’t hug me, that’s why I’m not affectionate.”
“ My dad wasn’t around, that’s why I’m not good with my children.”

True enough, these things may have happened in your life, but you don’t have to continue that negative cycle. Don’t allow the bad parts of your upbringing develop into your adult life. Stop blaming the past and change your life.

Years ago, I knew this amazing teacher. She would always explained to her class, “You have a choice and you have to face the consequences of that choice.” As simple as that seems, she hit the nail right on the head. In life, you have to make choices and own the consequences. This is the most simple, yet, profound advice that anyone could embrace at an early age.

Don’t blame your dad for your money troubles. You have the choice to either spend it frivolously or save it. Don’t blame your mother for your drinking habit. You have the choice to put the bottle to your lips or drink water. Don’t blame your dad’s absence in your youth. You have the choice of running in the streets or being with your children. Don’t blame your mom for not being affectionate towards your family. You have the choice to ignore the people in your life or open your arms and share those memorable hugs. Make the decision everyday to make awesome choices that you’ll be proud of.

Just remember, you don’t have to live the life you were brought up in. Live your own life and do what you choose to do, but always remember, you have a choice. Take responsibility for your choices. Make the best choice in everything you do. It’s OK to think and weigh your options – the more you do it, the easier it’ll become. The choices you make are your own, so take responsibility and live with the consequences. After all, it’s your life and you are in control – no one else. Break the cycle and become the great example your children (and others) deserve!

One of the main guidelines of the Goalden Lady is to keep it moving. Yes, this means following through with your tasks, but it also means exercising. Exercise, as you’ve heard, is a great way to keep physically fit. It also helps you think more clearly and gets rid of stress. It’s a good practice to get into because once you start a rhythm, you’ll see how it can help you in many different ways.

Different people exercise for different reasons. Some do it because they like to look good and others do it for health reasons. No matter what the reason is, it’s hard. Some people exercise first thing in the morning, some exercise after work, in the evening. It all depends on your schedule. Whatever works for you, but the whole point is to get up and do it!

If you are just beginning, walking is a good exercise. Not like you’re walking leisurely in the mall, but work your legs a little more and get your heart rate up a bit. Breathe and see nature. Once you get used to this, you’ll want to do more. Some people go on to cardio, some progress to jogging. No matter what it is you decide to do, just make it a part of your routine and do it everyday (or almost everyday).

The biggest struggle is to just start. I hear people say all the time that they’re going to start on Monday and they never do. It doesn’t have to be a big start, but if you can just get out of the door and walk down the street and back, that’s a start – it doesn’t have to be anything big. After walking down the street, you may be able to walk to another destination close by. After that, you may be able to go hiking on a two mile trail. Soon, you may be able to start jogging for 30 second intervals, in between walking.

Just because you see other people who have their running attire on and they look all professional, don’t let that discourage you. They, too, had to start somewhere. A lot of people I talk to on the trail tell me they’ve lost weight by walking and turned their health around for the better, and they’ve been walking for years. You never know how long a person has been at it, but like you, they had to start somewhere.

Take the challenge and try it for a month. Experience a positive change in your body after a couple of weeks. Not only will you feel different, you may come up with a few creative ideas to implement into your plan. It doesn’t take much, so don’t make it hard – just step outside of the door and take the first step!