Everyday, we have a choice as to how we react to various situations. Some people react to everything little thing and it can be very draining, even for those around them. Others react only when needed.I’m talking mostly about emotional reactions.
Let’s take road rage, for example. Someone cuts you off in traffic. Your first reaction is to flip them off or shout at them. I used to do this, but realized that it was just a waste of time and my valuable energy. Every morning when I went to work, it was the same scenario – heavy traffic, late for work, everyone’s in a rush, and someone cuts in front of me. The first reaction is to react in a way so that they know you are mad and they shouldn’t have done that to you. After a while, I started thinking, “We’re all in the same situation, trying to get somewhere, but going nowhere fast – why am I the one that’s mad?” Yes, I literally thought that to myself.
Another reaction would be to smile and be thankful that you were cautious enough to avoid an accident. It takes lots of practice to learn this type of reaction. I began to notice that once I finally got to work, I was less stressed and had better focus on starting my day. Who wants to show up for work mad everyday? That’s an awful way to start the day.
There are millions of cases where people react without thinking or go on their first reaction when something happens. Things can escalate quickly and some people have short fuses. There are better things you can channel your ‘madness’ to, instead of someone or something that doesn’t deserve your energy. Yes, being mad takes energy. You’ll be tired before lunch if you reacted to every negative situation you came across. Think about letting it go and saving your energy for something better, like your focus. When you focus your energy on your goals, or good things, you become better at what you do. I’ve learned to brush off things that people say about me or do to me. It’s not worth my time, nor my energy. If it’s that bad, they will get what they deserve – I am a firm believer in karma.
When I was in college, my then-boyfriend and I got into an argument and I, of course, was mad at him. During this time, I received a phone call saying that my uncle passed away unexpectedly. Nothing, after that moment, mattered to me. My uncle had just given me a ride to my dorm residence the day before. I worked with him almost everyday. Life put me in check. That argument, even though I don’t remember what it was, wasn’t even worth my breath or my energy. I learned two things: there are more important things to focus on and life is too short to be wasting your emotions on nonsense.
After that, I made it a point that nothing is worth my energy unless someone is dead, dying, or unusually sick. That is the only time you’ll see me lose it. Not because someone cut me off in traffic, or was disrespectful in the restaurant, or looked at me funny. These things will not take my energy and it shouldn’t take yours. It’s not even worth it. Yes, people make me angry, and it may make me react some, but not to the point where I blow my top and it affects the rest of my day. I choose to use that ‘angry’ energy to focus on doing something useful and resourceful for my life.
Once you get used to not over reacting to every situation that stimulates you, I promise you’ll feel better. It takes a long time to get to that point, but it’s well worth the practice. Besides, drama won’t get you anywhere, but into more drama.