responsibility Archives - The Goalden Lady

Your Achievement Is The Reward

Growing up, we did things because there was a reward involved. It motivated us to complete a task, while teaching responsibility. “If you make your bed every morning, I’ll give you a puppy!” Do you need a “puppy” to bribe you into creating good habits that are beneficial to your life?

Although prizes are exciting and fun to work towards, the actual reward is the fulfillment of the goal. Making your bed every morning gives you the satisfaction of coming home to a welcoming and comfortable place to sleep (some people don’t have that).

Having something to motivate you to take action is great, but what happens when there is nothing to push you?

See Beyond The “Prize”

Just about everything has some sort of reward attached to it – the Super Bowl trophy, a scholarship or even BOGO (buy one, get one free) purchases.

Whether it’s sports, academics or marketing, there is something there to incite action in order to make you move. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this, but the challenge comes when you’re looking for a reason to do everything.

Why work for something if there is no reward? There are some people who think they must receive something in return for everything they do. This soft way of thinking is what keeps them stuck and unable to improve.

In some instances, it works to get everyone on the same page and going in the same direction (mostly when teaching kids). When you offer a prize, it promotes competition and stimulates thought. As you mature, you should see the value and gratification within the process and that should be enough.

You don’t need a cookie when you ace the spelling test or a weight loss trophy when you lose twenty pounds. The satisfaction of achieving the goal is the reward. It says that you are on the right track and you’re getting better at it.

What happens after you eat the cookie or break the trophy? Nothing. Your accomplishment is still valid. A “prize” does not make your hard work and results any less credible.

You Are The Reward

Rewards are nice, but not necessary. Living as if the world owes you something is certainly a path to disappointment. It’s much more satisfying to truly know your own abilities, instead of having to prove it to someone else for a “treat”. Do it because it’s right or because it stretches your limits – do it for you.

When you are successful, there is no physical trinket that can erase what you’ve done. You’ll always be the best at what you can do, whether there is something to show for it, or not. Personal satisfaction is the ultimate achievement. Don’t depend on rewards to get you through life – they won’t always come.

Adjust your mindset to taking on tasks and goals, just to achieve them. The fact of knowing that you can do something extraordinarily well is the greatest reward you can give yourself. You don’t have to look for anyone to give you some sort of praise – it’s already inside of you.

Your Choice: Take The Shot Or Pass The Ball?

There comes a time in life where we’re presented with a choice: should I trust myself and follow my dreams or should I do what others think I should do?

This dilemma comes to everyone at different times. Some may experience it sooner than others, but nevertheless, you must make a decision on how to proceed with the rest of your life.

Who’s Living Your Life?

Are you where you want to be in life? If not, where did things go left?

It’s a hard truth, but somewhere down the line, instead of taking the shot, you passed the ball. The pressure was too much and you decided to let someone else make the decision for you. If they make the shot, are you happy? Or, could you have done the same thing and received all of the the applause and recognition yourself?

If their shot doesn’t go in the basket, you feel relieved. “Glad I didn’t do it,” you think to yourself. The person who was brave enough to shoot the ball may have missed, but they took control of a situation you were afraid to face and most of all, they learned from it. Even though you don’t think about it at the moment, missing the shot has it’s benefits.

This happens repeatedly in our lives, where we must take the shot – it’s all or nothing. Most people will pass up the chance to see what they’re made of. The opportunity was given away, simply because you didn’t want to be embarrassed. After a while, this becomes a pattern in your life.

This pattern will turn into unconsciously allowing others to make decisions for you. You begin to ask them questions about how you should do this, or if you should do it at all. Thinking that you aren’t good enough to make the right choices, you look to others who you’ve passed the ball to.

Now, they make decisions for you and you’ve given up your personal power.

Personal Responsibility

Taking responsibility for your own actions is hard to do. Yet, the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the more life will move with you and not against you.

It’s easy to follow what the crowd is doing. If something happens, no one is at fault or the entire crowd is at fault – it feels better to divide the blame. That type of comfort can keep you complacent and unproductive.

When you’re by yourself and creating your own way, everything that happens will fall on you. This discourages some people to make their own progress, because it hurts their ego and they don’t want the extra work of overcoming a challenge.

Most times, the issue can be solved, but it’s the lack of thinking that makes it seem worse. It’s easy to be lazy and let things play out as they will. Why should you be the one to take action and move the situation forward? If no one else is willing to do it, why should you?

Taking personal responsibility is what lifts you to the next level. No one has to see you do anything for it to be valid – validate yourself. You know what you’re capable of – if you don’t, take the shot, see what happens and follow through.

Maybe it’ll turn out the way you imagined or maybe it won’t. Either it will move you forward, or it will teach you a lesson. When you take control, you get to make the decisions that everyone else is scared to make. Don’t blame the outcome on someone else, when you allowed them to take the lead. You can be the leader, but you have to take the responsibility (the good and the bad) that comes with leadership.

Lead Yourself

Never let someone else define your life by making choices for you. You have the vision of what you want your life to be, not them.

It’s important to take the shot – how will you know your capabilities, if you never make an attempt? Passing the ball may be necessary at times, but for the most part, have the courage to shoot. If you miss, at least you know what to practice in order to become better the next time the opportunity presents itself.

Get out of your own way and put yourself out there. You don’t want to regret not taking a chance, when you had the chance. It’s never too late to lead yourself. You don’t have time to waste, but you do have time to use. Use it wisely – take the shot, move forward and improve.

Preparation And Action Removes Fear

Preparation is a great way to eliminate fear. You fear what you don’t know, but in order to beat that feeling of insecurity and anxiety, you must set aside some time in advance to get ready.

We live in a microwave society where most people want things to happen in an instant. It’s awesome that technology has accommodated us by making some tasks easier and quicker to accomplish, but there are still some things that we need to prepare for in advance and with constructive thought.

Be Accountable For Your Actions

With responsibility comes accountability. Being able to own your mistakes and think for yourself is how you evolve as a person. There are too many people who allow others to dictate their circumstances, just by not holding themselves accountable.

So many of us have a “it wasn’t me” mindset when it comes to life. We think if we can get away from taking the blame, life will be better. If you don’t take responsibility and prepare for what may come, someone else will handle it for you and that doesn’t turn out well.

Holding yourself accountable for your actions is how you grow. Even if it wasn’t your fault, you can control the narrative by taking the reins and moving forward. Equip yourself with the information needed to bring about a solid outcome. Yes, it takes time and effort to prepare (and a strong mindset to correct possible mishaps), but it will serve you better on multiple levels.

When you are accountable for yourself and the things you do, that’s when life becomes better. Constantly looking for someone else to throw under the bus is backwards. Be prepared – tackle those obstacles and hold yourself responsible. There’s always someone to blame for your problems, but your life won’t be productive until you decide to take control and become accountable for your actions.

Decisions, Big And Small

The smallest decision can have the biggest impact. Everyday, we have choices to make and it creates the world we live in. Being lazy today can inhibit your success tomorrow.

When it’s time to make a decision, don’t delay. Some of your future situations are based off of the choices you prepare for now. If the information is there, use it to your best interest and make appropriate plans.

Sometimes, we procrastinate and hope things will play out in our favor. Of course, it’s nearly impossible to prepare for every single thing that may happen, but it helps to be in front of the eight ball instead of behind it.

Your decisions lead your life. Poor decisions will give you poor results. Always think 2 steps ahead when considering your choices. Think about what you want the outcome to be and guide your thinking in that direction. Also, think about where things could go wrong. It may not turn out how you want it to, but either way, you’ll be prepared no matter what happens.

Prepare For The Best And The Worst

Being accountable for your decisions and responsible for your actions are beneficial to being self-reliant. As long as you depend on someone else to take the blame or make choices for you, your life is not your own.

Action and preparation cures fear. If you don’t want something to turn out a certain way, prepare for it by doing something about it now. Don’t wait until it’s too late. You don’t want to be in a worse predicament than you were before. Do something to prevent the worst from happening or do something that will play in your favor.

Don’t be afraid if things turn out differently than you planned – that’s what makes it adventurous. There will be things you’re unable to control along the way, but there are some things that will pleasantly surprise you, too.

When you prepare, you build confidence – things don’t seem as scary. You don’t feel stressed or stuck when you develop a plan and have it ready. By practicing preparedness, you are overcoming your fear by taking action.

Maintaining A Desire To Grow

When you change your perspective, you grow. The reason why some people have a boring, uneventful life is because they’re scared to say ‘yes’ to anything different.

There are people who seem to live such an epic life, but were they lucky or did they keep an open mind and take advantage of the many opportunities? What does it take to grow and lead a fulfilling life?

Grow With Your Mistakes

We all make mistakes – the real question is, do we learn from them?

Most people have been brainwashed into thinking that making a mistake is detrimental. They’re afraid of the embarrassment and negative labels that may come with it. This is what stops them from improving and moving forward.

Let’s make it clear – you never may a mistake, you learn. When you own your mistake, you learn how to take a different route, how to go about it differently and most of all, what NOT to do the next time.

Some people will make a mistake and point the finger at someone else, simply because they don’t want the criticism that may come with it. Owning your mistake and taking that responsibility means you’re making progress. It’s impossible to gain any ground if you’re constantly finding fault and placing blame.

It’s a process that requires determination to see it through to completion. Think of anyone who has reached their goal, whether big or small – they wouldn’t have been successful without learning from their mistakes. In order to learn from your mistakes, you have to own them and grow.

Try New Things

Another way to enhance your desire to grow is to try new things. Doing something new every once in a while pushes your boundaries for learning and opens up a new world for you.

People who never want to try anything limit themselves. Understandably, you shouldn’t attempt to do every single thing that you come across, but when you avoid everything, you cut off your potential.

It doesn’t mean to walk a tightrope at 100 feet in the air for the first time, but maybe try it at 3 feet. Maybe you’ll like it, maybe you won’t, but at least you’ll know because you made an attempt.

Simple things, like taking a new route to work, trying different food or writing with your opposite hand can exercise your brain. There are many things you can do everyday that will open your eyes to a new (and possibly better) process.

Expand Your Thinking

Is there a right way to think? The wrong way to think is to think you know it all and close yourself off to other people’s suggestions or opinions.

There are some people who haven’t read a book since high school or who have never traveled to another country. When the opportunity presents itself, their first reaction is always ‘no’. This promotes passive behavior, which leads to a closed mind.

Instead of always having your staunch opinion, try thinking from the other side. It doesn’t mean you agree, it just shows that you have the ability to think on another level.

The more you expand your thinking, the more you’ll learn. Your desire to grow will increase and you’ll gain more knowledge about different things in the process. Never be afraid to think strategically or from another angle.

Your Adventure Starts Now

Life is all about growth. When you’re born, you don’t stay a baby forever – you grow everyday. It’s the same concept with maintaining your desire to grow. Your capacity to learn is enormous, but you have to activate that curiosity, which can lead to amazing things.

Overall, take the time to explore new places and new people. It’s okay to say ‘yes’ to something new. It doesn’t mean you lose or you wasted time if you don’t like it – it means that you were open enough to see what it does, how it works and if you would possibly like it.

Create your life by maintaining your desire to grow. When all is said and done, you will have discovered an adventure that was worth living!

#TBT: If You Want To Improve, Make Mistakes

It’s natural for humans to want to avoid mistakes. Everyone prefers to appear that they have it all together and that nothing ever goes wrong.

But, it does. Life happens and being perfect just doesn’t exist. You can look like you have it all together on the outside, but you know you’re barely holding it together on the inside.

Mistakes aren’t little things that get in the way of your progress. You may not like it when things don’t go as planned, but it’s essential to your self-improvement.

What Are Mistakes?

Mistakes are little instances that you don’t expect to happen. Even when you’re doing your best, something can still go wrong.

While riding a bike, you don’t expect to fall, but once you figure out how it happened, you make it a point to keep it from happening again.

When you fell off of your bike, you discovered that your shoe strings were too long and got caught in the pedal. Next time, you stuff your shoe strings inside of your shoe, to prevent from falling again. Lesson learned.

A simple person would have stopped riding bikes, altogether. Rather than facing the challenge and finding a better way, they shrink back into their comfortable space.

Understand that simple mistakes like this will arise, but it’s up to you to figure it out, so you can keep moving forward.

Mistakes Give Direction

Some people don’t know how to handle mistakes. They become angry and take the easy way out by giving up.

Mistakes are not a sign to give up, but a sign to change direction or course correct. This is an important part of the process, because it allows room for improvement, as you go along.

Imagine if you gave up, every time you made a mistake. You wouldn’t achieve anything in life. Being lazy would be your highest standard.

When mistakes happen, it’s like a GPS telling you which way to go. Even a GPS will re-route when you go in the wrong direction. It doesn’t stop working just because you took a wrong turn. It searches for another way to get to your destination.

Other People’s Reactions

One of the biggest reasons why we don’t like making mistakes, or admitting to them, is fear of what other people think.

People are insecure. They will give any type of reaction that makes you feel small and not-so-smart. They want the attention to be on you and not on the mistakes that they make.

When they laugh about it, laugh with them. Don’t let it make you feel insignificant. Once you learn from your mistake and keep going, they won’t be laughing anymore.

Learn To Adjust

Your mind is your greatest asset. Use it to it’s full capacity – that’s what it’s for. Having the ability to adjust when things go south is a fundamental trait to possess.

Instead of being discouraged when something doesn’t go right, take the time to see what happened and how you can improve upon the outcome for next time. Have a ‘can do’ attitude when it comes to solving issues, even when it’s unexpected.

Treat your mistakes as your teachers, because they are. Without them, you would go around in a circle, staying within your comfort zone. They show you the path that leads to success. All you have to do is be confident, make corrections and follow through.

#TBT: Make The Commitment To Do Your Best Everyday

Commitment begins with a thought or an idea. The goal is to stick with the task, so that you can incrementally improve day by day.

You have an unspoken responsibility of becoming the best person you can be. No one has to tell you this, you just know. Laziness can kick in at any time, followed by complacency.

To become better and more productive, you must make a commitment. How do you start? What does it mean to be committed?

Identify Your Commitment

When you commit to something, you make a conscious effort to do it consistently. No matter what you decide to do, a commitment has to be made first.

Do you want to lose weight? Start by committing to drinking a glass of water and an evening walk everyday. Are you ready to take control of your finances? Commit to saving ten dollars a week. Want to study history? Do the research and find the right books to read and documentaries to watch.

Identify what you want to do and go for it. Most times, we think about what we want to do, but we never get around to actually doing it – that’s because a commitment was never made.

Establish what it is that you want to achieve, commit and take the first step.

How To Make Your Commitment Stick

It may be difficult for you to commit to a personal goal – it happens to everyone. Comfort sneaks in and takes over any challenge you had in mind. How can you make a commitment stick?

One strategy you can use is writing it down. Creating a list of things to do will hold you accountable for taking action. Instead of relying on your memory to do something, write it down. Writing it down makes it official. You won’t get away with conveniently forgetting about it and it allows you to ‘see’ what needs to be done, so you can plan accordingly.

If writing it down isn’t your thing, find a responsible person to hold you accountable. This should be someone you trust. If you don’t perform your committed task, the consequences should be something uncomfortable, like paying them one hundred dollars. You wouldn’t want to give up that kind of money, therefore, you’ll do your best to follow through. Check in at a certain time with this person everyday to be sure you are staying committed to your goal.

Be Relentless

Making a commitment doesn’t work unless you’re consistent with your actions. You have to be ready to see past the distractions and adapt to change. If not, the whole idea of being committed to your idea simply won’t happen.

If you make a commitment and it doesn’t work out, that’s fine. It’s not the end of the world. You always have the choice to do it again. Has success ever come easily on the very first attempt?

Your will encounter adversity of some sort. You will have to shift in order to keep going. Be relentless with your commitment. If you’re serious about reaching your goal, you’ll do what’s necessary to get there.

Your ambition and determination should drive your commitment. You must be convinced that no matter what happens, you won’t give in to negative ideas and people. When it does happen, you must make the adjustment and adapt to the new plan.

Are You Ready?

Making a commitment says a lot about you. It says that you’re focused and decisive about what you want to do. Too many people drift into a life of nothingness, by giving away their advantage. The power is within you, but you have to be intentional and use it proactively.

Like anything else, it takes time and effort to be committed to your plan. Don’t be the one who stops at every obstacle you come across. Trust yourself to build the future of your dreams. You don’t have to start big – don’t let someone else’s accomplishments deter you from beginning your journey. Everyone has to start somewhere.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Take baby steps. Make the commitment and take the responsibility to grow into your greatness.

#BeGoalden

Personal Responsibility Is The Ultimate Life Hack

Personal responsibility can be a touchy subject. Some people think your life is in your hands, while others think every situation is up to fate.

We can create our own destiny through positive thoughts and constructive actions. Depending on your perspective, this could be true or false. There’s no detailed example for everyone to follow when it comes to walking the path to success.

Taking personal responsibility is the definitive line here – if you cross it, it can change your life. If you don’t, you could end up where you didn’t intend to be.

What Is Responsibility?

What happens when you lack personal responsibility? You leave it up to someone else to lead your life. It gives that person with ambition the permission to use you to reach their goals.

Personal responsibility is the first step to self-improvement. Who else is going to put in the work? That test won’t ace itself – the bills won’t pay themselves – your body won’t remain healthy on it’s own. This takes energy and being mindful on your part.

It’s not only you – sometimes, it can mean taking the hit for what has happened in a group. Although it may not be your fault, it allows you to become the leader, so you can continue pushing the group towards it’s goal. While everyone else is pointing fingers and finding fault, you’re figuring out a solution (the most important part) to keep things moving forward.

The life you live is your own. Your life isn’t supposed to mirror anyone else’s. Being inspired by someone is good, but know that the exact path to their success won’t get you to your success. That’s a different journey that requires personal responsibility.

You can blame and complain all you want, but the responsibility of living your life is solely yours. No one can pursue your journey but you. It’s exclusively yours to travel and accomplish.

See Your Life, Not Someone Else’s

Acknowledge that your future is unique to you and you have a hand in making it happen. If someone else has an advantage that you don’t have, that’s no reason to give up before you start. There are many people who achieve the impossible everyday, even though they come from unfavorable circumstances.

We all grow up in different situations. Some of us grew up rich and others grew up struggling – some were raised with mothers and fathers and others were raised by their grandparents or adopted – some had a positive environment and some didn’t – you get the point.

How you grew up does have an impact, but it’s not the deciding factor of how your life will turn out. Instead of being upset that your parents don’t have an inheritance for you, take on the personal responsibility to build one for yourself (or for your kids).

Yes, it’s hard, but it can be done. Your weight may be heavier than someone else’s, but it’s still your load to carry. By going the responsible route, you make that load a little bit lighter (even thought it seems heavy at the time) for those who come after you, while blazing your own trail.

Comparing yourself to others is a common distraction that we all face on a daily basis. Social media will have you thinking you’re not worthy or your life is so far behind other people within your age range. It’s all an insecurity show – 98% of people who are genuinely successful don’t show off on Instagram. If they do, they’re probably trying to sell you that same dream.

The thing is, you can’t “buy” the dream because there is no exact blueprint- sure, it’ll give you clues and hints, but it won’t make you instantly successful. We all must go through our own journey and receive our own rewards. In order to do that, you have to stop looking for someone to save you and take responsibility – get over your disadvantages and make them work for you.

Your Life Is Waiting

Personal responsibility can improve every area of your life, but you must realize it first. Some people go through life with the expectations of only bad things happening to them. Some will see the other side of the spectrum and find something great in every day.

We all want life to be a little easier for us, but at the same time, it’s the challenges that make us who we are. Don’t look at it as a problem – take this opportunity to find a solution. Look at it as an adventure that only you can experience, because it is, but it won’t happen unless you take responsibility to live it out.

Being responsible is your responsibility. Stop looking for it to be easy and find your own way through. Life wouldn’t be awesome if everyone lived the same story. Be excited about what the future holds for you – your exclusive adventure awaits!

Are Excuses Dominating Your Life?

You want to be successful, but for some reason, the work doesn’t come out of you.

You want to be healthier, but for some reason, you can’t find time to exercise and eat better.

You want to focus on becoming a better version of yourself, but for some reason, those actions just don’t align with what you’re doing right now.

Overall, you know what you need to do, but what is it that keeps stopping you and holding you back?

It’s the excuses we give ourselves and the people we try to impress.

So why do we depend on other people’s opinions? Why do we place so much value on how others feel about what we want to do?

We all want to be accepted. The fastest way to gain acceptance is by doing things that others want us to do. Once you’re in this cycle, it’s hard to get out, because you then have to face the rejection and embarrassment that may come along with it.

How do you tackle this?

Self Accountability

It all comes down to holding yourself accountable. Making a to-do list and having reminders and notifications are great tools that can help accommodate your goals, but if you don’t follow through, what good is it?

Being accountable for your actions is the foundation for anything you want to do. If you really want to achieve what you set out to do, the only person that can stop you is yourself.

It doesn’t matter if things don’t go right or someone put a wrench in your plans. You are in control. Things can happen in your favor, but they can also happen against you – accept it. Those challenges and obstacles build you into becoming the person you want to be – overcoming fear, pain and unfavorable circumstances makes you a better version of yourself, not excuses.

Instead of actively going through the things that pause your progress, you make excuses and become complacent. It’s easier to blame the rain, than it is to work out inside. Your co-worker didn’t replace the paper in the copy machine, so that’s why you’re late with the report. You were tired from a hard day, that’s why you chose to eat fast food.

Excuses can not coexist with accountability. It’s one or the other. When you make the choice to elevate yourself, don’t allow those “reasons” (a nice word for excuses) to derail your commitment. Yes, it’s comfortable, but being comfortable doesn’t make a way for success.

Make Up Your Own Mind

What’s in your mind? How do you think? What shapes your thoughts?

Throughout life, we become conditioned to think a certain way. This happens through our environment, parents and friends.

When you were a child, anything was possible and you set out to make it possible. There were no fears or doubts in your mind that you could build a rocket in your backyard and fly to space, all in one day.

Somewhere along the line, someone told you that it was impossible. They supplied you with convenient excuses and logical ‘reasons’ as to why you couldn’t build that rocket. They placed their limitations on you and eventually, you accepted those limitations as your own.

Today, people tend to discourage independent thought. If someone says they’re going to become president, others will give them a thousand reasons why they won’t become president. Want to become a fashion designer at age 50? Announce it and people will call you crazy.

Everyone has their own opinion and thoughts, but that doesn’t mean you have to jump on their bandwagon. NEWSFLASH: You can think for yourself! Your ideas don’t have to be approved or validated by anyone else. You don’t need outside confirmation to know you’re doing the right thing or what’s in your heart.

When a child has a vision, they stick to it. Be that child, again. Stand by your ideas and work out your strategies until one succeeds. Don’t let the negative comments and non-believers live inside your head.

Excuses Will Always Exist

When you take control of your mind, you take control of your life. You are not here to build your dreams based upon how other people think you should. Get out of your own way and become aware of your own power.

There may be some things you have to unlearn and that is totally okay. Your life demands more of you. Make the decision to be ambitious and see where your potential will lead.

Reclaim your brain and get rid of the excuses. Your life is waiting.

Be Present, Even When It Seems Impossible

Being present isn’t something that comes easy. It takes practice and mindfulness to achieve an organic state of awareness.

Of course, if it was easy, everyone would do it and the world would be a bit better. How can you begin to become more present and self-aware in your life?

Anxiety And Worry

Anxiety and worry are two of the biggest stressors in people’s lives today. No one knows what will happen tomorrow, or even how they will handle today.

How many times have you been in a situation where you’re doing something, but you’re not fully focused because your mind is somewhere else? Or, you’re listening to a friend and you begin to worry about their problems as if they were your own?

One way you can control your anxiety is to prepare as much as possible. You may not know what will happen in the future, but there are some things you can be ready for. Things like paying bills on time, keeping an umbrella in the car or having an emergency fund – all of these can help curb your self-imposed stress.

Another way to avoid anxiety and worry is to be present and find a solution. Worrying won’t make anything better – focus on what’s in front of you and how you can solve it, now. Some things aren’t in our power to personally manage, but yet, we still take it on as if it’s our responsibility. Either identify a result, or simply, let it go.

Fear

What makes people fearful? One of the biggest factors is being judged by others. Everyone wants to look good in front of other people, so we put emphasis on how we look and what we do. We do this to gain other people’s approval and to be accepted.

This is the wrong way to think. You don’t want to fit in with other people, you want to be yourself. When you are your authentic self, the right people will come to you. Being fake and trying to make others like you will only build a false sense of security – it’s important not to do this to yourself.

Find your presence when you feel the need to be validated by someone else. Think of what you’re doing in that moment – is this something you want to do or is this something you think someone else would want you to do?

You should always aim to please yourself before you please others. Living your life by someone else’s standards won’t allow you to thrive. Everyone has a unique gift to offer the world, but you must let go of that fear and be present enough in your own life to realize it.

Regret

Eventually, fear leads to regret because you were so scared to do that thing, you didn’t do it – now, you regret it.

Being sorry that you didn’t do what you wanted to do is like holding yourself hostage. No one is making you do anything, but for some reason, you choose not to do it anyway (possibly due to fear).

Don’t let self-doubt stop you in your tracks. We tend to box ourselves in the older we get and we don’t do what we want to do because we’re “adults” now and we lose our curiosity for life. We allow our responsibilities to become distractions (like bills and kids) and it takes over our lives. Before you know it, life has passed us by.

Take the time to be present, even when you’re an adult. Bills and kids don’t have to stop you from being present – be present with your kids. Pay your bills on time so you can afford the luxury of being present, instead of worrying. See the cycle?

Be Present Today And Always

Just about everything leads back to being present. If you want to become the best version of yourself, becoming self-aware is a great start.

Anxiety, fear and regret (among other things) all hold us back in one way or another. By being present, not only do you acknowledge that the only time is now (the present), you also begin to recognize the daily improvement within yourself.

Go ahead and give it a try – whenever you begin to feel overwhelmed by your thoughts, situations or other people, bring yourself to the present. Focus on what’s in front of you and what you can do in that moment. Worrying won’t make it better, fear won’t make it happen and regret won’t offer you another opportunity.

Life is lived in the present. Be where your feet are, today.

#TBT: How To Change A Bad Past Into A Bright Future

Judging your future by your past impedes your progress and stifles your potential. If you have control over the possibilities, why not stretch and see how far you can go?

What is holding you back at this moment? Is there something you want to do, but that invisible voice keeps giving you excuses and telling you it’s not possible?

We’ve all experienced the doubts and fear that creeps into our minds, convincing us that it won’t work. All it takes is a few seconds of listening and we decide to play it safe, without even putting forth an effort.

Effort and failure is what carries you to success. Giving up because it didn’t work the last time you tried, is not the way to go – get out of your past and take action towards a better future.

The Past Is Your Teacher

Learning from the past can be a good blueprint for life. There are unfortunate things that happened, which you don’t care to experience anymore. This is helpful when making quick decisions.

Things like not putting your hand on a hot stove, or wearing a seat belt while riding in a car – those things can prevent significant harm or save your life altogether. Because of this, you depend on your past to help you in the future.

All of the various situations you experience in the past can contribute to how you live your life, currently. Some good, some bad, but it’s up to you to determine how it allows you to move forward.

The present is always happening. Your mind is constantly having thoughts and reacting to stimuli. Your past has a tremendous influence on each moment, as it occurs. How does this affect you in your everyday life?

The Past Doesn’t Decide Your Future

Sometimes, you can let your past dictate your present and future. Unconsciously, you can hold your present hostage by reacting with what you know, as opposed to doing something different to change the outcome.

If you had a bad business deal in the past, it doesn’t mean that every business deal will be bad. If you failed a science test, it doesn’t mean that you’ll fail every science test in the future.

Just because something went wrong the first time around doesn’t mean it will go wrong forever, whenever it happens. When it’s in your control to change the outcome, think of how you can adjust the details to make it work.

Turn the hot stove off, instead of touching it. Get past references before doing a business deal. Attempt to study in a different place before the science test. It is your responsibility to build your future by correcting the mistakes of the past.

How Analysis Paralysis Occurs

Analysis paralysis is a real obstacle. It’s when you overthink or consume so much information, you end up not doing anything at all. It’s better to proceed and make a mistake, because you learn what not to do and can make another attempt. Sitting still and not doing anything because of your fear of what might happen, is not effective.

Researching information is necessary for making decisions, but if you give yourself too many options, you’ll end up doing nothing. You’re so full of different choices, you become unable to make a move. The confusion alone becomes the new issue that needs to be conquered.

Realize that consulting with your past has it’s benefits. If anything, it should assist you in moving forward more strategically, putting you in a place to win. The rear view mirror is used to make better decisions, not to see how terribly wrong things might turn out.

It’s also important to note that you shouldn’t live in your past. Get whatever information and logic you need in order to make intentional moves, but don’t get stuck there. Some people will stay in the past a little too long and begin to overthink the outcome and hinder their growth. This is a common path to analysis paralysis.

Intentional Decisions

When thinking through a situation, you normally go back to your own understanding and experience, but your experience isn’t the only way to creating a definite solution.

If you grew up with parents who were drunk all of your life, you can make one of two decisions. Your experience will either teach you to be a drunk parent, or it will teach you that you don’t want to be a drunk parent. You may have experienced it, but it doesn’t mean you have to follow through in that particular way.

Make intentional decisions. Use your past experiences to make calculated moves in the future. It doesn’t make sense to make the same mistakes repeatedly, especially if you know better.

You can change your outlook on life by making forward-thinking choices. Allow your past to guide you, but don’t let it drive you down the same road that leads to nowhere. Let it give you the boost you need to make more intelligent and constructive choices. Everyone has a past – don’t let yours define you.

#BeGoalden