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#TBT: Emotional Discipline

Having emotional discipline is important. Anyone can say anything to push your buttons, but you must recognize when they are doing so, in order to respond accordingly.

This is what catches most people off guard. They get so wrapped up in what others are saying, that they quickly react without thinking. Before they know it, the situation grows out of control.

When you have discipline over your emotions, it allows you to think from a calm place. You can respond instead of reacting, while your mental energy remains intact.

Some Things Don’t Deserve A Response

Realize that no response, is a response. There are some things that don’t deserve your emotional energy.

If you react to everything that happens to you, your energy will be wasted. You will tire yourself out mentally before the day is over with.

Pick your battles. Learn to stay calm and respond from a place of peace. Everything doesn’t deserve your power or acknowledgement. As soon as you give in and react, it’s out of your hands – they win.

Responding vs. Reacting

Some may think that responding and reacting are the same thing, but they carry different meanings.

Reacting is when you answer back to something instantly – it’s your first reaction to what someone has said or done to you.

The first reaction is not always the best reaction. When someone criticizes you, you instantly want to criticize them back. Now, you are in their control because you’ve given your power to them by reacting.

When you respond, you take a second to think. If someone criticizes you, you either ignore them or quietly reply with a smile. It shows that you are not bothered and no matter what they say or do, you won’t stoop down to their level.

When you are in charge of your emotions, you maintain your sense of control. As soon as someone can get you to react, they are in command of the situation.

You Don’t Have To Win Every Argument

Believe it or not, there are some people who like to argue, just for the sake of arguing. It’s like a sport – whatever you say, they will say the opposite, just to spark a reaction.

When we get into heated debates and arguments, our immediate objective is to win. We have to prove ourselves and show that we are right and they are wrong.

When you come across people who like to play ‘devil’s advocate’ for sport, let them win, or don’t participate at all. They will not let go and it will drain the energy right out of you. When they’re done, they walk away with a smile, while you are left feeling defeated, for no good reason.

Discipline Yourself

You may not have the ability to control others, but you can surely control yourself.

Remember, you don’t want to give up your control to anyone else through letting go of your emotions. Letting others successfully push your buttons is a way to break your emotional discipline.

Remain calm and hold your position. Know that some people will say things just to make you angry, but you don’t have to accept their foolishness. Learn to let it go and keep your mental energy in a positive place.

#BeGoalden

Take Control By Learning How To Respond

Life isn’t fair – we know this. Things happen out of our control and we allow our emotions to flow out of control, too.

This is not the way to respond – this is reacting. It’s not necessary to react every time something happens. How should you respond? Does it help remove all of the unfairness that life throws at you?

Responding vs. Reacting

When something unexpected happens, most people react. By reacting, it means to make it worse, or to add more drama to what’s happening. This isn’t a helpful way to solve a problem.

If there’s a car accident and someone gets hurt, how do you react? Or do you respond? Here’s the difference:

Reacting would be seeing someone who is seriously injured and telling them how bad it looks. You’re freaking out and screaming, as if you’re the one who’s hurt. The person who’s injured goes into an even deeper panic, as you point out how terrible everything looks.

As a person who responds, you would assess the situation, call 911 and calmly talk to the injured person. You let the person know that help is on the way and you talk to them in a positive manner. Everything is under control and the injured person finds comfort in the support that you provide.

Which person would you rather have assisting you in a time of need?

Control What You Can

Most times, your emotions will lead to an unintended place. People will determine how they will move forward with you, depending on how you react or respond.

Never worry about what you aren’t able to control. It’s fine to be concerned, but it’s best to be positive – there’s no need to think with a negative mindset.

When you worry, you’re robbing yourself of the present. The present is the only time you can choose what you do. Even then, it may not go your way, but you must learn to hold your composure and respond in the best way possible.

Reacting will cause stress and anxiety. Being emotionally “on” all of the time because something happened out of your control does nothing to help your situation. It leads to the wrong choices and drains your energy.

You Are In Control

Will responding, instead of reacting, take away all of the unfairness in life? It definitely won’t, but it will give you confidence over what you can control. If you develop confidence over what you can control, you’ll develop more confidence over what you aren’t able to control.

Make it a habit to respond as if the situation is happening to you – put the shoe on the other foot. Would you want someone making everything worse for you, or would you want them being helpful and encouraging?

No matter the outcome of the situation, the best part about it is that you were able to support someone in their time of need. Or, you were able to solve a problem so things could move forward more efficiently, without your emotions being a factor.

When given the chance, be productive and don’t allow your emotions to over rule logic. Take control and do something to help. Be of good service and support. Just remember to always remain calm and do the best you can to make the best of any situation. Don’t give your power to worrying.

Only you can change how you behave in any given circumstance. Will you become angry and fold, or will you think it through and continue to improve? Manage your emotions to your advantage, or it will become your greatest disadvantage.

#BeGoalden

Turn Your Panic Into A Plan

Some things can be an inconvenience, like an unexpected bill or a flat tire. You might complain, get over it and you move on. Every once in a while, we come across a global inconvenience that puts the world on the edge of panic. We know what’s going on, but it feels weird because we don’t know exactly how to react or respond.

With the coronavirus, or COVID-19, its not that easy – we can’t be angry, complain, make a payment and go on with our lives. What started out as a distraction in another land, has turned into a disruption in our own homes.

When Panic Sets In

When we’re not familiar with an obstacle, our first reaction is to panic. There’s no plan, we’ve never seen it happen before and we have no idea where things are going.

We simply panic because we don’t know what to do. When everyone around you is just as afraid as you are, it causes confusion and anxiety. People begin to make up false information and conspiracies. Like the coronavirus, panic is contagious and spreads easily.

You see it when you go grocery shopping and everyone is filling their carts with tons of items and when you turn on the news and it’s plastered all over the television. It’s hard to ignore, so most of us join in, because if everyone else is panicking, something must really be wrong and we don’t want to be the oddball.

That’s how panic works. We see other people stockpiling groceries, so we do it too because we don’t want to be left without. The news keeps spewing statistics that may be close to true, so we allow it to put a halt on our daily lives.

When panic sets in, it causes us to not think for ourselves. We go with the crowd and panic along with them. Yes, the situation needs to be handled, but inviting panic into the equation doesn’t help you or the people around you.

Have A Panic Plan

How can you plan for the impossible? Is there a way to manage your life when life-altering events occur?

When things happen that you aren’t used to, remain calm and think. There’s no need for you to join the panic club and spazz out with everyone else.

Things may be different now – you may have to work from home, practice social distancing or quarantine yourself. These are actions that we’re not used to doing on a regular basis. It can be a scary time, but you still have control over how you respond in these types of situations.

Keep some sort of routine. Things are being done differently now, but that doesn’t mean to stop living your life. You still have goals to reach and obstacles to overcome. New challenges may present themselves during this time, but you want to practice being productive, as opposed to sitting in fear.

Even if you should become ill, you don’t want to just sit there, panic and be sick. You want to do what’s necessary to become healthy again. Taking charge and being worry-free is the first step.

Even though things are changing, stay consistent with your underlying goals. Don’t start making excuses, just because the virus is here. Keep practicing your public speaking, keep up with your diet, keep working on your business, etc. Whatever habits you had before, keep doing them and improving.

One of the most important keys to success is how well you can adapt to change.

Stay In Control

Although things are changing around us, we still have power over our productivity. There may be a global pandemic going on around us, but before you panic along with everyone else, think it through and see what you’re able to do.

Watch just enough news to get information and do your own research – when you have the knowledge, you can plan and respond, accordingly. Don’t watch it all day and allow it to feed your fear of what’s going on. That’s when it becomes worthless and you become paralyzed with panic.

Use your energy to focus on becoming well or doing something worthwhile. Keep or create your routine. Maintaining a sense of normalcy will save time and stress.

When you don’t know what to do, it’s best to do what you know. Don’t sit and panic – keep up your habits and continue moving forward, doing the best you can do.

#BeGoalden

Emotional Discipline

Having emotional discipline is important. Anyone can say anything to push your buttons, but you must recognize when they are doing so, in order to respond accordingly.

This is what catches most people off guard. They get so wrapped up in what others are saying, that they quickly react without thinking. Before they know it, the situation grows out of control.

When you have discipline over your emotions, it allows you to think from a calm place. You can respond instead of reacting, while your mental energy remains intact.

Some Things Don’t Deserve A Response

Realize that no response, is a response. There are some things that don’t deserve your emotional energy.

If you react to everything that happens to you, your energy will be wasted. You will tire yourself out mentally before the day is over with.

Responding vs. Reacting

Some may think that responding and reacting are the same thing, but they carry different meanings.

Reacting is when you answer back to something instantly – it’s your first reaction to what someone has said or done to you.

When you are in charge of your emotions, you maintain your sense of control. As soon as someone can get you to react, they are in command of the situation.

You Don’t Have To Win Every Argument

Believe it or not, there are some people who like to argue, just for the sake of arguing. It’s like a sport – whatever you say, they will say the opposite, just to spark a reaction.

When we get into heated debates and arguments, our immediate objective is to win. We have to prove ourselves and show that we are right and they are wrong.

Discipline Yourself

You may not have the ability to control others, but you can surely control yourself.

Remember, you don’t want to give up your control to anyone else through letting go of your emotions. Letting others successfully push your buttons is a way to break your emotional discipline.

#BeGoalden

Reacting vs. Responding

Let’s talk about reactions and responses. When there’s a situation, are you the person who reacts or responds? Being a responder is better than being a reactor. Let’s look at the example:

On your way home from work, there is a car accident that happens right before your eyes. The cars collided head on and no one, in either vehicle, is moving. You race from your car to the scene and try to assess the situation. You have called for help. This accident looks pretty bad, but you are talking to the victims, keeping them calm. You let them know that help is on the way and ask if there is anything you can do to help. The dispatcher tells you to keep the victims still, as much as possible. You are communicating back and forth with the victims and letting them know that everything is under control. There is light conversation between you all, until the ambulance arrives. They take over and the police is asking what happened and you calmly tell them what you saw.

Or, the story could go like this:

On your way home from work, there is a car accident, right before your eyes. The cars collided head on and no one, in either vehicle, is moving. You race from your car to get a closer look. “Oh, no! Look at all the blood,” you scream as you run between the two cars. “This is so bad — this is really bad. OMG! I hope you don’t die!” you exclaim. Meanwhile, the victims in the cars are crying and upset, as you run around, having a holy fit. “Somebody call for help!” one of the victims scream. “Where’s my phone?! I think I lost my phone!” you continue as you scramble around the scene. Fortunately, someone passing by has called for help. When the ambulance arrives, the victims are so emotional and confused that it’s hard to see what has happened. The police asks you questions, but he has to calm you down first. After fifteen minutes of chaos, you are calm enough to tell what happened, but now, it has all become a blur…

Between both of these stories, which one reacted and which one responded?

In the first story, you responded. You were efficient and you kept the victims calm. Your focus was completely on them and how to help the situation. It turned out well for everyone, therefore, making for better results.

In the second story, you reacted. You were frazzled and the victims were even more frazzled, after you freaked out. Nothing was done to comfort the victims and you focused more on yourself. Even though the victims were hurt, you let your emotions explode out of control, which only made them feel worse. This is what happens when your emotions take over.

As you can see, when you respond, you manage to handle the situation. Your emotions took a back seat to what was going on and you maintained a sense of normalcy, for the victims’ sake.

When you reacted, it only enhanced an already bad situation. Your emotions ballooned and your focus went out of the window, if there was any to begin with. The accident was bad, but you didn’t make it any better by announcing how bad it was and how awful it looked.

Being focused is always a strength. When you respond in any situation, it makes it easier to deal with. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, it helps to remain calm and think things through.

Try not to overreact. It can be surprising when things happen out of the blue, but as in any situation, you must remain calm. This helps promote a productive outcome.

Next, with your emotions aside, figure out how to help. Keep your feelings to yourself, because it won’t make things better.

In most situations, the calmest person becomes the leader among everyone, simply because they are constructive and appear to be in control.

Excerpt from: The Goalden Lady Presents: Help! I’m Stuck: 10 Strategies To Push You Through To Achieving Success A Personal Development Series, Book 1 by S.R. Roberts