perspective Archives - The Goalden Lady

Dealing With Disappointment

Disappointment is one of those things you wish wouldn’t happen, but it always seems to find a way to rear it’s ugly head. Whether you find it coming from yourself or someone else, it has a way of disrupting your flow.

Unfortunately, disappointment is something we’re unable to avoid, but we do have the ability to work around it. Instead of trying to ignore it, be mindful and learn how to deal with it productively as possible.

What Disappoints You?

There are a million ways you can be disappointed. Deception, death, high expectations, sadness, anger, betrayal – it all falls under the umbrella of being disappointed. Whether something is unfair or not, it frustrates you.

It could be someone not showing up on time. Maybe you didn’t get the job you hoped for. Your best friend stole from you. Someone cut you off in traffic. There’s not as much money in your bank account as you thought.

Some of these disappointments are caused by other people, but some of it is caused by you. It’s important to know the difference, because you may not be able to fix other people, but you can definitely fix yourself.

Just know that other people are not you! Don’t expect them to do things the way you would do them – this is one of the easiest ways to disappoint yourself. Of course, we should all have high standards and expectations of each other, but in reality, it just doesn’t work that way.

Waking up in the morning to find there are no socks to wear can be disappointing, but you can fix that so it won’t happen again. Running out of gas while driving on the highway can make you mad, but you can fix that so it won’t happen again. These are situations that you bring upon yourself, but you can fix it. Be accountable and stop disappointing yourself.

Perspective

Think about this: do others upset you or do you allow yourself to be upset by them?

One way is blaming and the other is taking responsibility. People do crazy things – you don’t have to like it, but you don’t have to let it ruin your day, either. That’s life. You don’t have to be offended by every little thing. If you can see it from another perspective, it will help you move on with your day.

We can not stop disappointment from happening. However, it does contribute towards the building of our integrity and character. It can be annoying, but if you can see the situation from a different angle, it can possibly put you at an advantage.

Adjust your outlook so you won’t experience a high level of disappointment. It can be heartbreaking when someone lets you down, but don’t let it become distracting. Some of us are stuck on something that happened ten years ago. It’s hard to forgive and let go, but you don’t want to live in a mental prison all of your life.

Forgiveness is for you, not for them. It allows you to move forward so you can continue to make progress in your life. When you hold a grudge, the other person doesn’t feel it – you carry that burden of disappointment. If you shift your perspective, you’ll enjoy the benefit of controlling your emotions (not your emotions controlling you) and creating a more improved outcome.

It’s Okay To Feel Your Disappointment

When other things disappoint you, especially if it has nothing personal to do with you, let it go. Giving up your energy to silly things can be draining. It sounds simple in theory, but why do we make it hard to do?

Sometimes, it’s the small things that can get to us – someone looking at us the wrong way, it rained when it wasn’t supposed to or your favorite team lost the big game. These type of things will happen. You have no control over it, but you can make the choice to forget about it and keep going. Don’t carry it with you the rest of the day – unless there’s something you can do, accept it and let it go.

Other times, disappointment can be more personal and difficult to deal with. A loved one becomes terribly ill or your child is following the wrong crowd. Situations like these are unable to let go as easily. It may hurt everyday, but the best way to handle it is to be as helpful and as positive as you can.

With some disappointments, there is no concrete way of handling them – you just have to let it run it’s course and work itself out. At the same time, you don’t have to live in it. Acknowledge it, but allow yourself to look ahead and continue to pursue your future.

No matter what happens or how you feel, the world doesn’t stop. There are ways to limit your disappointments and deal with them in a productive way – just don’t let it ruin your life.

Perspective – How Do You See It?

Your perspective dictates how you embrace your life. Everyone sees things differently from their experiences, therefore, everyone’s reality is different.

What one person sees as a failure, another person sees as an opportunity. How do these thoughts come about? You may not believe it, but your language and perspective have a lot to do with your social environment, how you think and where you are today.

Language

Your language and how you use your words contribute to your level of thinking. A lazy person’s language is different from an ambitious person’s language, so they have a different level of understanding. The good thing is, you can always improve your language through learning, which will expand how you think.

Your speech attracts the type of friends you hang around. Do you talk about becoming wealthy or do you talk about the latest reality show? Does your conversation lean towards creating solutions or more towards judgment?

The language you choose to use can bring you closer to your goal (or not). Using certain words will entice certain people. This is why networking is an important part of becoming successful – you tend to create your own social environment with your choice of words.

You don’t have to walk around sounding like a dictionary, but communication influences your thought pattern and brings about others with the same mentality. It can inspire and build confidence in the right people, but only if the right people have a positive perspective.

Perspective

Language also contributes to your perspective and how you see things. Again, some people see mistakes, where others simply see feedback.

Different words lead to different thoughts. Two people can observe the same situation, but will describe it from their own perspective. This leads to contrasting opinions, even though the experience was the same.

There are even times where we allow other people’s opinion to drive our perspective. What they think will create our self-esteem and the way we interpret things. Is it really your perspective, or theirs?

Like language, your perspective is also a choice. A problem can be seen as a permanent setback (negative), or it can be seen as a challenge (positive). Most people go out of their way to avoid problems, but some find satisfaction in enduring a challenge. It’s all about how we perceive the ‘problem’.

It’s the same thing, just worded and thought about differently (is the problem a setback or a challenge?). Your perspective can breed various results, depending on how you decide to think.

What Do You Choose?

The language you use and how you choose to see things has a great impact on your life. Although it may seem small, it could be the difference between making progress and being stuck.

Choose to see the positive before the negative – our minds gravitate towards the negative first, but make a conscious effort to do the opposite. You would want someone to see the good in you, before they judge you with the bad.

Be the same way with your environment and life. We aren’t able to control everything that happens, but we can control our language, perspective and how we will see it, from here on out.

Failing Is A Sure Way To Learn

People often take failing as a negative thing. Whenever you attempt to do something and it doesn’t work out, there’s no need to quit – the failure is guiding you in the right direction.

Yes, there are some instances where it’s time to hang it up and do something else, but for the most part, people are afraid. Your perspective has a lot to do with how you think of failing.

The Feeling of Failing

What happens to some of us when we fail on the first or second time we do something? We stop. There’s no data collected, no statistics to consider or any additional information to dive into. It didn’t work, so we stop.

This is what holds most people back. If you knew that you were supposed to fail, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad when it happens. Somewhere in life, we begin to equate things not working out with failing and progress is halted.

We’ve been taught to feel embarrassed when we fail. Others say, “I told you so,” or “I knew it wouldn’t work – that was a waste of time“. These comments come from people who never attempt to do anything, so they tell you that you’re unable to do it, too.

All of this negativity can be so consuming to the point where you actually believe it. You have more naysayers than you have supporters.

The most important thing to remember is that failing is nothing more than learning and correcting your mistakes along the way. Failing is where growth happens.

Failing Is Learning

As Thomas Edison once said, he didn’t fail, he just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work. This is how confident we should be in the face of potential defeat.

It can be overwhelming when you’ve worked so hard on a project and it doesn’t work out the way you planned. Who wouldn’t feel bummed out about that? Shift your thinking – you know what doens’t work, so try another way until it does.

When pursuing your goals, know that 99% of the time, it won’t go right the very first try. This is a time to learn and become more aware of how things really should work.

Failing should force you to do more research and find better ways to put it all together – gather the data, the stats and the additional information. You should feel relentless in the pursuit of your results. It should feel like you’re that much closer to achieving your goal.

Edison kept going with his inventions and he found what worked. He basically failed his way to success. Don’t allow your perspective to be warped by what others say and think. Failing is a sure way to learning and becoming successful.

Bet On Yourself

In essence, failing is learning. The entire process shows you the ins and outs of what should be done and how. You’re a lot smarter in the end, than you were when you first started. Develop the habit of resilience and keep going.

Your goals may take one day, one month or one year to accomplish, but never give up. You are closer to your achievement than you think. Take this opportunity to believe and bet on yourself.

You’re way ahead of the person who didn’t start at all and even those who started, but gave up. The journey to success isn’t an easy one, but as long as you keep learning through failing, you will find your goal in the end.

#BeGoalden

Replace Your Old Thinking, With New Thinking

Replace Old Thinking Habits Wiith New Thinking Habits

Too much thinking can make things harder in our minds, than they are in reality. Whenever we’re assigned a new responsibility, there’s a little hesitation that comes along with it.

Taking on something new seems hard, simply because you’ve never done it, or you don’t want to do it. You start to think about all the things that could go wrong, instead of what could go right.

Shift your perspective. It’s an opportunity to grow and learn something new. Let’s take a look at how we can adjust our thinking to accommodate our improvement.

From Old Thinking To New Thinking

Old Thinking: “This is how we’ve always done it.” You want to stay comfortable. This can be a challenge within itself. Doing things the same way seems to be the perfect routine, but routines can become outdated. Knowing how you’re going to do something does work in your favor, but at the same time, you should consider adjusting your routine, if it can be more efficient.
New Thinking: “There’s always room for improvement.” All it takes is a little more time to see if something new will benefit you. The way technology is today, things change all the time. There’s always a better way to do things. Keep an open mind – what used to take you 30 minutes, might take you 10 minutes if you attempt the new way.
Old Thinking: “That’s okay, I’m good.” You’re scared of success. Instead of doing a little more and finding a way to accomplish your goal, you self-sabotage. You tell yourself that you really don’t want it, but in fact, you really do. Being afraid to take a chance on yourself breeds laziness.
New Thinking: “How can I make this happen?” Your focus is now on the solution, not the ‘problem’. Starting the process of figuring out a path is the first step. Be confident! When you write down your ideas, your mind begins to create more ideas and different ways to reach your results.
Old Thinking: “What will people say?” You fear judgment from others. It scares you to do something that might fail, because someone will make fun of you or criticize what you did. This is another form of self-sabotage. People insult others out of their own insecurities – they’re taking the attention away from themselves and putting it on you. They think they’ll fail, so they think you’ll fail, too.
New Thinking: “I got this.” Move forward and continue to make progress. The people who drag you down and insult your actions will see your success and change their tune. Have the courage to stay persistent, even when it seems it’s not working. This is how you get to the next level of a better you. Keep your focus and resist comparing yourself to others – this is your race.

Think For Yourself

Never doubt your abilities. Anything is possible, but you must be dedicated to the process in order to see the achievement. It doesn’t work if you keep stopping based on what someone says or your own hindering thoughts.

Enhancing your life is not easy. Train your thinking towards abundance and positivity. Encourage yourself. There’s no shame in changing your mind to becoming more proactive. Go ahead and raise your standards and work above them. Think for yourself and take pride in what you have accomplished.

Do the hard things – everyone else is doing the easy things, that’s why there’s no growth there. Don’t get stuck by accepting what is – do your own thinking and create what you imagine. Make each day count towards your plan. Take the road less traveled and enjoy the many successes along the way.

#BeGoalden

How Being Optimistic Can Expand Your Perspective

Being optimistic is a trait we all can possess. It doesn’t favor the successful or the wealthy. Those that are self-made already had an optimistic view before they became who they are.

Most people think being optimistic is like that goofy friend who is happy about everything, even when nothing is working. That may be true on the surface, but being optimistic entails more than being happy and seeing the bright side of things.

The Optimistic Mind

Even if you don’t have that goofy friend, being optimistic is a useful characteristic to have. When you face complications, you can find a glimmer of light in the darkness and work towards it.

Being optimistic is a mind shift. You can do it, but it’s going to take some effort on your part. When things aren’t going well, the first thing most people do is let it ruin their day. They think there’s nothing else they can do, so they quit. You don’t have to be that easy and give in.

Be optimistic with your thoughts and find an effective way to follow through. Getting frustrated when things don’t go your way, is counterproductive. It doesn’t help to throw it all away – you’re capable of figuring things out. Find the light and take some time to think it through.

Take control and exercise your confidence. Why let everything go if you can do something about it? Life happens, but you can let it happen, or make it happen. No matter how bad things get, you always have a choice in how you respond. Use optimism to your advantage – it’s like having a cheerleader in your corner, telling you that it can work, just don’t give up!

Using Optimism In The Right Way

Optimism allows you to be resilient. If you weren’t optimistic, more than likely, you would stay stuck. Whatever it was that was battling you, has won.

It isn’t only about being goofy-happy, it’s about finding a solution and facing challenges. It gives you the possibility of creating a way out of the shadow. In some cases, the answer is so simple, yet, we tend to overthink, causing us to stop before we even start.

Use it as a strategy. When you’re optimistic, your mind works towards an answer. You begin to see that there is more than one option. Before you know it, you’re making your way through that temporary challenge. After you’ve achieved it, you realize your potential to do more.

Be Optimistic

Your brain has the ability to see past the crowded negative thoughts that race through your mind everyday. Instead of letting obstacles stop you in your path, be forward-thinking and move around them.

It’s good to have an optimistic person on your team. They remind you that there’s a way to open that door. It relieves you of self-defeat and allows for more productivity. The solution is easier to meet if you look at it through optimistic eyes.

You don’t have to have a goofy-happy friend – you can be optimistic yourself. When you find yourself looking away from the issue, look at it with a positive vision. Clear your mind and think it out, one optimistic step at a time.

#BeGoalden

Throwback Thursday: Shift And Move

Have you ever been in traffic and you see a sign that says “Traffic Delays Ahead”? For most people, it’s frustrating because it means construction delays and detours. Now they have to find another way to get to their destination and it will throw off their estimated time of arrival. I’m sure the construction people don’t mean to slow up your day (or weeks), but it has to be done for everyone’s safety and benefit. There’s no other way around it, but to dig in and start.

After they are finished repairing the road (days or weeks later), everyone’s happy that they did what needed to be done. The road drives better and traffic is more efficient.

This is what happens when you are on your way to achieving your goal and doing your work. Things you didn’t expect to happen will come up and you have to deal with it. Most people would stop and not take a second look at what needs to be done to get around the problem. There will be times when you have to take a look at what happened, figure out how to move forward, and continue on. What’s the worst that could happen? You may lose a little time and patience, but if it’s necessary to move forward, then do it. Challenges will arise, but you must have the attitude and confidence to handle it. Try not to get so caught up with the problem, but push for a solution. Sometimes, a pivot is needed in order to keep moving.

Don’t be discouraged if your plan isn’t going the way you thought it would go. One of the characteristics of a Goalden Lady is knowing when to shift and move. When you thought you were going left, you find out you need to turn right. It may cause a slight panic because it was unexpected, but making that turn and moving on shows that you’re flexible and can handle any challenge that presents itself. Sometimes, a change is needed to make things better.

When you look back on those obstacles that tried to derail you, you’ll be proud that you hung in there and faced it head on. You will come out on the other end a stronger person! Even if the outcome was bad, it’s a lesson learned and you won’t make that mistake again. Every obstacle has a lesson (good or bad), because you learn what to do and what NOT to do. Use it to your advantage to become better – it will benefit you in the long run.

The construction people don’t come up with excuses when they do their job – they get right to it, so they can finish and move on (because it is their job). When you come across a challenge, don’t make an excuse – figure it out, dig in, and keep moving (because it is your work).

#BeGoalden

Stop Giving Power To Your Past

Giving your power to your past is one of the biggest personal distractions you can allow. Situations that you keep re-thinking over and over again, can keep you complacent.

Whatever situations that have happened in the past can push you, or hold you back. Instead of recalling the success and productive moments of our lives, we unconsciously prefer to remember the negative moments.

No one wants to go back and relive the distressing and awkward moments and with good reason – but what if you could use those moments to create a more productive outlook?

The Good Times

Reminiscing about the good times with family and friends always brings about good feelings. You look back and remember how things were simple and the little silly things you did that made life adventurous.

Those feelings are very strong. It puts everyone in a good mood and lightens up the atmosphere. Everyone wishes that they could go back in time and relive those moments.

When The Past Holds You Hostage

On the other hand, when we think about setting goals and the vision of the future, our minds go south. We remember how everything went wrong the first time we did public speaking, or how we lost the Spelling Bee by misspelling a simple word.

Those feelings are stronger than the good feelings, because they hold you back. Something is reminding you that you don’t want to be embarrassed or make more mistakes. In this instance, you lose your power.

In essence, you’re ending your journey before it even starts. The distractions of the past have frozen your ability to move.

Pick Up Your Feet And Get Moving

As you know, the most important step of success is taking action. The only thing that matters is how to get to the next point.

Before that, you must be in a good mental space. Nothing starts without a thought or an idea, so let’s think positive. Things will go wrong, but be strong enough to know that you will figure it out and above all, you’ll be fine.

All of the mistakes you ever made in your life? That’s feedback. Those things that you call problems? Those are not problems, they’re challenges. The way you look at things can make a world of difference with how you perform.

Shift Your Perspective, Find Your Power

Yes, it’s difficult to forget the bad times in your life. You don’t want to repeat the same negative process over again.

The things that make you feel uncomfortable is where the lessons are. If you must think about it, look at it from a different angle and find a productive solution – don’t just remember it and exhaust yourself all over again.

Use your past to your advantage. You’re robbing yourself if you allow it to keep you from building your future. You are capable of more than you think. Instead of thinking, “I won’t make it,” think, “If I do it this way, it could work.”

When you shift your perspective, things will start to happen. You have the power to open your mind and believe beyond what you think you can achieve. If you can control how you think about your past (especially when it comes to your goals), you will definitely have more control over your future.

#BeGoalden

Solving Problems And Making The Impossible Happen

How to make the impossible happen and how to solve problems.

Everyone must solve problems. For some, it’s easy to keep going, but for most, it’s hard to get past the initial situation. At times, we can even create our own problems. This is where people get stuck.

When people tell you it’s impossible, do you shrink back and feel embarrassed? Technically, you don’t need them to validate your thoughts, but some of us leave ourselves open to this type of rejection and we believe it.

You can handle anything – it’s all about how you choose to receive the information.

What Is A Problem?

Finding a solution to your problem isn’t that hard, it just depends on how you see it. The hard part is getting past the fact that it’s a ‘problem.’

How we see a problem, is the problem itself. A problem is not a problem – it’s a challenge.

This will shift your thinking to solution mode. After all, isn’t that what the goal is? When you call it a ‘challenge’ and not a ‘problem,’ it changes your perspective.

You can solve challenges. Even if they’re a bit difficult, your mind will start searching for a solution. When you see it as a problem, you instantly begin to think how hard it is and all the negative things that could happen.

Never A Problem, Always A Challenge

Once you begin to replace the word ‘problem’ with the word ‘challenge,’ answers will come to you. Your mind will open up and your thoughts will begin to move forward.

Challenges can be hard also, but figuring out a challenge is more productive than being stuck on a problem. You can solve anything, but the way you look at it plays a huge role in your mind’s ability to provide a path to an answer.

The Impossible Is Possible

We must talk to ourselves in a way that promotes action. Stop accepting what everyone else tells you. If you hang around those who always insult your ideas, you’ll begin to believe that your potential isn’t possible.

There are many things that seem impossible, but if you look at it differently, it can very well become something you can think through to a solid result. All you have to do is use the right words to spark your mindset.

Imagine how many things you could accomplish, if no one told you it was impossible. You would automatically think of a solution for everything, simply because you feel like it can be done. The impossible is very possible!

The Solution To It All

Finding a solution to a problem is stressful, but finding the solution to a challenge is more productive and exciting.

This is the path to finding solutions in everyday life. Shift your words and you will shift your actions. Are you creating a more forward-thinking mind by using better words or are you satisfied with being stagnant, stressed out and useless?

How do you solve a problem? By calling it a challenge. How do you do the impossible? By making it possible. No one likes to encounter problems because problems are stressful, but we all love a good challenge. No one likes to do the impossible because it’s been labelled as ‘impossible.’

If you’re stuck on a problem, call it a challenge. If someone says it’s impossible, make it happen. Protect your mind and change your perspective. It could be the difference between a rewarding life or a passive existence.

#BeGoalden