obstacles Archives - The Goalden Lady

Failing Is The New Learning

Throughout life, we all have felt a sense of failing. Something didn’t work out the way we wanted or an outside source (such as a test) had labeled us a failure.

The old way of thinking of failing is self-limiting. Society has taught us that failing is bad, that we aren’t worthy of giving it another try and there’s no way out.

There are very few of us that had someone to teach us the real meaning of failing. It’s actually the opposite of what most people think it is. Failing isn’t something to be ashamed of – actually, it’s a push in the right direction towards success.

What Happens When You Fail?

Failing has such a bad reputation, that we have developed a fear of failure. This leads to judgment and overall, not following through with the task that you “failed” at.

People may ridicule you for not achieving a goal that you were working on. They may call you names or tell others that you aren’t as great as you think you are. All of sudden, it feels like the world has lost complete faith in you.

This is what leads to fear of failure. It has such a negative meaning, that we try our best to avoid it. No one wants to be ridiculed if they don’t have to. Your self-esteem is crushed and you refuse to put yourself through such torment.

So, what do you do? In short, suck it up and keep it moving. There are people in this world who are waiting for you to do something wrong, just so they can have something to talk about. The same people aren’t doing anything productive to move their lives forward, so they try to bring you down to their unproductive level.

You don’t have to allow this to affect you.

How Does Learning Happen?

Do you think people learn things the very first time they read or study it? Absolutely not. It takes more than one shot to become a high achiever.

Failing is the new learning – how else does learning occur? The only difference is, is that people who accomplish their task gave it one more chance. That’s the difference between a winner and a loser.

Learning isn’t a perfect process. Mistakes, obstacles and setbacks are promised to happen, but the only way you will make your way to becoming successful is by making constant progress. That means failing and being resilient on a consistent basis.

Failing teaches you what not to do. It gives you a new and improved strategy to implement the next time. Overall, it points you in the direction you should go.

That’s what learning is – doing things until you accomplish them. The only way you can do this is through actively failing.

What Does It Mean?

Words are powerful. We never realize how much they impact the outcome of our lives until we take a closer look at what we’re actually saying.

Any word that is synonymous with failing, isn’t an insult. Setbacks, obstacles, mistakes – all of those words give you feedback for you to create a better plan, in order to move forward.

These are constructive words – there’s nothing offensive about them. It only seems that way when you’ve been conditioned to see it that way. Don’t allow other people to control you with their interpretation of negative words.

Failing is the new path to learning. Every outstanding person has used failing to pave the road to success. You have what it takes to fail your way to success. If it doesn’t work, review what happened and give it another shot – not only will you grow, but you might mess around enough times and accomplish your goals!

#TBT: Why Worrying Won’t Work

When unpleasant challenges arise, the first thing most people do is worry. It’s a reaction that lives on autopilot in your mind, ready to go when needed. Not only does worrying affect you on the inside, it affects how you perceive things on the outside. Let’s see why worrying won’t work.

Don’t be a Worry Wart. What is a Worry Wart? As soon as something out of the basic routine happens, you begin to stress about it.

“What’s going to happen?”
“Why did it happen?”
“Who did this to me?”
“What am I going to do?”

All types of questions, along with several negative emotions, start to run rampant in your mind.

This raises your stress levels. You begin to attempt to answer those questions in your mind. Nothing is working out in your favor. Is there a number to call? Is there someone you can speak to about the situation?

You want answers because you simply don’t know why this is happening to you. Therefore, you just continue to worry because you don’t know what else to do.

Sometimes, it’s simply something that you, the Worry Wart, did to yourself that caused the issue. After that, you can’t be mad and stressed about it anymore. Take responsibility and deal with the consequences.

On the other hand, it may have been a mistake that needs to be corrected. You follow instructions on how to fix the flaw and it’s done. No more worrying because you resolved it.

In both cases, your mind went into a frenzy because you didn’t know what was going on. There’s a way to save yourself from the stress of worrying, but it takes practice.

When you receive bad news or something happens out of your control, talk to someone or simply do the research. Spazzing out doesn’t help and most of all, it won’t solve your issue.

When you get emotional about things you can’t control, it affects your surroundings, as well. You may take it out on the kids, friends, and you’re unpleasant to be around. You’re just an all around grump until you figure out what’s going on.

That’s the thing – figure out what’s going on. That’s what needs to happen. You’re only making it worse for yourself and those around you.

Learn to respond, instead of react.

When you let your emotions get the best of you, it normally doesn’t end well. Not only does being emotional make it worse, you’re also not solving anything. Nothing gets done.

It’s normal to have an initial emotional reaction. Don’t let it overtake you into worry world. Start thinking about what you can do to help the situation or to solve the issue. Do what you can. If you can’t control it at the moment, leave it alone until you’re able to figure it out.

When you respond, you come out with better results. It works out for you and those around you. Sometimes, you’re unable to do anything about certain situations until a period of time has passed. There’s no need to put yourself and others through hell because in the end, you could be worrying about nothing.

Worrying won’t help. It only takes up your precious time and for some, can even lead to health problems. Do what you can and be calm enough so you can resolve the issue. Decide to respond around your emotions and not in your emotions. If you do this, you’ll have a better handle on taking care of what needs to be done.

Change Is Uncomfortable, And That’s Good

Change makes us uncomfortable, but it’s nothing to be afraid of. Your ability to overcome a sudden challenge is greater than you think.

Building rituals and routines into your life is necessary. After all, it helps with productivity and time management efforts and it makes us feel comfortable when we know what to expect.

What happens when we encounter change? Instead of going right, your idea goes left? Do you overreact to what’s going on or do you keep a level head and flow with it?

Change Is Uncomfortable…

Things happen – it’s a part of life. Every now and then, something knocks us off balance and we don’t like it.

For the most part, we have to address the situation. We really don’t want to, especially when we’re in a good place. No one likes to stop and figure out what’s wrong, when everything has been going right.

Change can make you feel uncomfortable, stressed out, fearful, awkward, and sometimes, embarrassed. When you don’t have an immediate solution, it can be scary.

…And That’s Good

Rather than having negative thoughts and emotions towards change, embrace it. You’re about to learn something that you wouldn’t have, otherwise.

This is an opportunity for you to gain more knowledge about what works and what doesn’t work. It’s your chance to figure things out and enhance your thinking skills.

Don’t run from it. Take advantage of what’s about to happen. No matter what the situation is, there’s always something to gain from it.

Open your mind and shift your perspective. Your brain has a way of introducing new ideas and unique thoughts into your life. You may not like it, but remember: it’s not a problem, it’s a challenge and that’s what makes you mentally stronger.

Be Flexible

Be water, my friend.
Bruce Lee

Change is inescapable. You can not avoid it or make it go away. When you begin to accept it, as opposed to resisting it, you take on the responsibility of stepping up to the plate and allowing yourself to grow.

Be flexible. Your journey won’t be a straight line. If you want to be an achiever, you have to learn to bend with flow. Most people will give up at this point, all because it’s not going the way they envisioned it.

When you take on those obstacles, there’s always a lesson to learn. Don’t quit because it becomes difficult- this is where growth happens. You are more than capable of handling any kind of change that comes your way. Don’t sell yourself short.

Grow Through It

So, how do you handle change? You face it head on. Take a moment to have your emotions, but you must remember that it still needs to be taken care of.

Change is not easy, but remember that you will come out on the other side successfully. You may be a little bruised, but you’re fine – you conquered it and you’re okay.

The next time it happens, it won’t be a surprise. You’ll be that much more skilled in how to manage it. Don’t just go through it, grow through it. You’ll begin to appreciate change, because you’ll find that it builds you into an incredible person.

#BeGoalden

Increase Your Action To Destroy Your Fear

Fear keeps us in procrastination mode. We only procrastinate, not because we don’t feel like doing something, but because our fear is keeping us from taking action.

Fear has a way of making us feel comfortable. If we attempt something new, there’s a chance it won’t work and we don’t like that feeling. Therefore, we avoid moving forward, so we won’t have to feel that embarrassment or negative judgment.

How do we overcome fear? Why does it have such a hold on us? Is there a way we can destroy the thought?

How does fear work?

As far as achieving your goals is concerned, fear is not real. Fear is something that you’ve created in your head, so you won’t have to go through the hard work and dedication that it takes to reach a goal.

Think about people who go after what they want. It seems that they have not an ounce of fear in them. They have laser-like focus and nothing stops them. Even if they fail, they automatically turn around and change course, but they continue towards the same goal.

Somewhere down the line, we’ve been brainwashed to avoid pain by being fearful. Therefore, we ignore the failing path to our results, because we don’t want to get hurt by failure.

Failure is nothing more than learning.

When you fail, you know what NOT to do. Now, you can proceed with the knowledge that the first way won’t work. Since you’ve failed at it, you know how to proceed more wisely.

By increasing your action, you destroy your fear. When you fail at something, take another action until you get through it. Don’t waste time by being hurt and giving in to doubtful feelings. You discovered a solution that didn’t work, now you can move forward with finding one that does.

You are your own biggest enemy. If you remove those limiting thoughts and beliefs from your mind, you can accomplish anything. After you have a small win from overcoming that obstacle, you’ll gain confidence and confidence will drive out the fear, more and more.

Your mind will want to give up. It will begin to create excuses. Excuses are another form of procrastination, which is another form of fear. If you take a deep breath and just do it, you’ll see that it’s not as hard as you think it is. If it won’t kill you, do it!

People will also put fear in you through insults and by giving you examples of who tried, but didn’t make it. Know this: that is their insecurity. They will put their fears on you. Don’t listen to them. Instead, give them a little inspiration and show them how it’s done.

It’s not a good idea to tell negative people your goals, because they will only say things to bring you down. Share your ideas with people who can help or who are supportive. Or, you could just keep it to yourself and let your actions speak on your behalf.

Overcoming Fear

The key is to keep taking action. The more action you take, the more your fear will disappear. Don’t hold yourself back by avoiding obstacles. That resistance is the path that will take you to your end result – that’s the path that will carry you to success.

Keep taking action. If you come across a challenge and you don’t know what to do, ask someone who might know or Google it. You are more than capable of figuring out other possibilities to accomplish your goal. Whatever you do, don’t allow fear to drive your dreams away. Instead, drive your fears away by taking continuous action.

#BeGoalden