What keeps us from being confident about ourselves? The majority of people think of the negative before they think of the positive.
You were born into this world with the natural gift of ambition. As a kid, you didn’t know that ambition was a ‘thing’ because it came without effort. As you became older, you began to see that the outside world had slowly taken that gift away from you.
If you still have a kick-ass attitude about your goals in life, congratulations! You are one of the few that kept it moving, no matter what others said or thought about you.
There are some of us who may need a little help in the area of high self-esteem. Some call it arrogance and some call it confidence. Whatever it is, how you think of yourself has a direct effect on your life.
Listen To Yourself
It sounds terrible, but secretly, there are some people who want you to fail. They want you to stay on the same level with them and not improve in your life.
If you make constructive progress towards anything, they’ll give you negative feedback – “You’ve changed. What makes you think you can do that? Who do you think you are?”
Understand that some people are afraid of success, but don’t be a supporter of this belief. They’re so scared to try something, simply because they don’t want to fail in front of others. Therefore, they dish out the insults to those who are brave enough to make attempts.
Anyone could be this person – a parent, sibling, best friend, co-worker or even a teacher. They may think they are saving you from being hurt, but they are really keeping you from your potential. It’s up to you to see through this and keep moving forward.
It’s easy to fall into their trap, because you want to be accepted. No one wants to be embarrassed, criticized or shamed in front of others. If this is the environment that you are in, it’s time to make some changes. It can be draining hanging around complacent people, but it’ll be even more draining living a nonproductive life with no goals or results to show.
Meet new people, go different places and have new experiences. Expose yourself to the things that you’ve always wanted to do. As they say, you’re not a tree – get unstuck and move.
Be Confident
If people tell you that your dreams are impossible, you’re on the right track. Your mindset has a tremendous effect on how you navigate your path to success.
People will step all over your dreams and tell you ten different ways of how and why it won’t work out. Instead of building their own dreams, they use that energy to destroy yours. The secret is – you don’t have to listen.
It may be difficult at first, but you have to get your mind right in order to become the person you’re meant to be. Go inside of yourself and create the confidence and focus you need to follow and complete your goals.
Don’t think “Maybe this won’t work” – think “I’m going to make it work.”
Don’t think, “I’m not good enough,” – think “I am going to be the best at this!”
Don’t think, “What if I don’t make it?” – think, “I won’t give up until it’s done.”
Don’t think, “What will they say?” – think, “I’m going to make myself proud!”
How you think of yourself means everything. If it takes saying affirmations everyday, meditating, listening to inspirational songs or watching motivational videos, then do it! Everything doesn’t work for everybody, but you have to find what’s right for you (not what they say is right for you).
Decide how you want to live your life – do you want to be courageous and see how far you can go or do you want to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else play?
You have a contribution to make to the world. It may not be big by some people’s standards, but we all can make a dent in the universe. Never allow anyone to stop you from thinking highly of yourself and your abilities.
I know you’re thinking, “How can motivation become a distraction?” It sounds impossible, but there are ways people allow motivation to interfere with their goals.
Motivation is inspiring. It is the catalyst that creates motion. It gives us that mental push we need to move forward and accomplish our dreams. Without it, the world would move a lot slower.
We all have those things in our lives that help us take action, but what happens when that thing holds you back and causes inaction?
Motivation Is Like A Drug
For the most part, drugs are addictive. People become slaves to a substance that controls their minds and eventually, their actions.
Motivation is like a drug. Everyday, you consume motivational content, in one form or another, and it becomes addictive. It becomes hard to put it down because you want more and more.
Like drugs, motivation gives you a high. Although it’s not fatal, it can stop you from taking the action needed in order to get to your destination.
Social Media
If motivation is like a drug, who’s the pusher? Social media.
It’s great when you discover new content on social media that inspires and invigorates you, but in the end, that’s all you end up doing – scrolling through content.
Motivation feels good. You can picture yourself being successful, just like the person in the post. When you wake up in the morning and you start scrolling down your timeline, it feeds you with more and more. It gets you pumped up to take action. You’re ready to go, but then, you crash before you even start.
How many times have you (or someone you know) attended a seminar and you leave fired up and ready to take on the world, only to get home and follow up by doing nothing? The motivation is there, but you feel like you need more in order to move on.
The Distraction
This is when motivation becomes distracting. Your energy is there as long as you’re reading or looking at the content, but you never actually get around to putting one foot in front of the other and making it happen.
You become stuck and figure you need more motivation. Back to social media you go and consume more content. The more encouragement you can get, the harder you think you’ll work towards your goals. Day by day, it steals your attention and you become more sluggish.
Yes, your intention is to grind and hustle like the content says, but you only put in a little work and you’re back to needing more motivation. How can you turn this around?
Action Over Motivation
Like a drug addict, you have to go cold turkey when it comes to consumption. Yes, that means taking a break from social media and other forms of inspiring content.
Let’s not make the mistake of thinking that personal development is bad, because it’s not. Personal development has given people a positive way out of negative situations. It has transformed many destructive mindsets into thinking of productive possibilities.
At some point, you have to put in the work and take more action. Yes, it helps to get you on your way, but nothing will happen unless you get to work!
Less Is More
Flip the script. Put a time limit on how you consume content. Put that extra attention towards taking action and making progress with your daily plan. Use that motivation to push you forward – it doesn’t take much.
It will be difficult, but make it simple: less consumption, more action. Create your own encouraging ideas to post for others to become motivated. Be the example.
But it won’t get done unless you put down the device and start taking action.
The way you think and talk to yourself is imperative to your growth. If your self-talk is negative, it needs to change – how you think of yourself determines how much you’ll accomplish in this world.
It’s not about mindlessly repeating affirmations everyday like clockwork, but it’s about recognizing your potential. Why live with bad thoughts when you have the freedom to live with great thoughts?
Your Past Affects How You See Yourself
It’s understandable – some of us were raised in a toxic environment where people constantly said horrible things to us. They made sure to tell you how awful and stupid you were on a regular basis. After a while, it gets stuck in your head like a broken record and you began to believe it.
Your self-esteem is affected by this nonsense. Growing up, it unconsciously became your identity and you fell in line with those types of actions. “If they say I’m bad, then I’m bad…” you’d think to yourself.
Attempting to unlearn such terrible things is a challenge. When something has been cemented into your mind, it’s like it belongs there. Your brain doesn’t want to change, but this is a habit that you must make a concentrated effort to undo.
Speak Kindly To Yourself
You have the power to be kind – why not be kind to yourself?
People place doubts in our minds and we automatically accept it. We like to believe the bad before we believe the good. It’s easier and makes for better gossip. We love telling stories of other’s failures, but we quietly overlook the stories of triumph and success.
Even if you encounter an obstacle, it’s not the end. Don’t start thinking it’s all over and there’s nothing else that can be done. Those thoughts of defeat are lying to you. The opportunity is there to prove yourself that it can be done. Take the time to think it through with a winning mind.
In that moment, you have a choice. Will you think, “It’s no use – it’ll never happen…” or, “Let me do it the other way and see what happens…”? Your entire thought pattern leads to whether you will overcome that obstacle.
What’s In Your Think Tank?
It’s so much easier to think the worst before you think the best, but that’s where the change needs to happen. It doesn’t take any physical effort – all it takes is for you to switch your words, be positive and know that you are a problem-solver.
Be the opposite of what that little voice in your head says you are. Sometimes, all it takes is a positive song that picks you up to enhance your mood. When done intentionally, affirmations can work as well.
What you need to take away from this is that you have a choice. People will say negative things to you just because, but don’t let it stick. Have a mindset so strong that you set your own rules and thrive with confidence.
Your attitude is not contingent upon what someone else says – in fact, you can adjust it. Don’t depend on someone else to see the best in you – you must know it and believe it. Stay away from the trap of other people’s opinions.
We all have the ability to think magnificent thoughts. Why choose to think the worst? Be kind to yourself, spoil yourself with positive thoughts and take actions that inspire you to level up.
We’re given opportunity through various situations in life. Depending on how you respond, it can build you or break you. When things happen out of our daily rhythm, the opportunity is there, but we have a choice to either shrink back or grow ahead.
There’s no blueprint to life – no one knows what’s going to happen or how it will all end. The best thing we can do is control how we respond and make the right choices.
Blame And Complain Are Friends
One of the easiest things to do, especially when things don’t go our way, is to blame and complain – it’s almost impossible to do one without the other.
Blaming and complaining come as a package deal. If you use one, you’re bound to use the other. It’s the easiest way to avoid responsibility and the quickest way to escape accountability. It’s the lazy man’s “get out of jail free” card.
The lazy man doesn’t exactly get the point. As long as he’s blaming and complaining about his circumstances, others have control over him. If he won’t answer to himself, he’s only allowing others to answer for him.
Blaming and complaining lets you off the hook. It allows you to hand the reins to someone else to take charge. Just know that when you do this, the other person has power over what happens and can maneuver the situation at their will.
You could make suggestions, but you’re not the one holding the reins anymore, so ultimately, it’ll be their decision. This leads to coming up with excuses, just to make yourself feel better, because you gave up your opportunity.
We need to realize that opportunity can come in the form of hard work. It’s not always presented as being wrapped in a bow with a guaranteed happy ending. You must make the choice to commit and mold it into what you know it can become.
Blaming and complaining doesn’t give you that option.
Discomfort And Change Are Friends
Yes, opportunity is sneaky. It’s not easy to recognize, especially when everyone around you is expecting it to look pretty and enticing. You need to be able to spot it, even if it’s dressed ugly.
You wonder why it seems like others seem to have all the luck? It’s because they know how to see what other people look past. Opportunity looks uncomfortable and risky and too hard. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but you have to get in the trenches and make something out of it.
Discomfort and change are friends. They may not look good, but if you stay committed, you can make it into something beautiful – you can be one of the “lucky ones”.
When things look difficult and dirty, your first instinct is to leave it alone. Who wants to waste time working towards something that doesn’t look successful? Why keep trying if it doesn’t work out within the next day or two?
Train your mind to be flexible. When you’re flexible, you have the ability to move and think through any situation. Discomfort doesn’t scare you and change doesn’t make you freeze in your path. Instead, it makes you ambitious and resilient and that’s where the opportunity opens up.
We all have a choice to stand still or to move. Standing still is safe, but moving allows progress. Be uncomfortable for a little while, so you can build towards the comfort that you seek. Change is only hard in your mind – once you put one foot in front of the other, little changes grow into that opportunity you were looking for.
Growth Takes Courage
It takes a strong person to embrace discomfort and change. Anytime you have the choice to leave things as they are and play it safe, you’re letting your power slip away from you.
Courage is feeling the fear and following through – even in the face of defeat, you’ll find the strength to push through. The distractions will always be there. If it’s wrong, keep going until you make it right.
As they say, fortune favors the bold. Never be afraid of what might happen. Give yourself a chance to see how well you can adapt and adjust – always bet on yourself.
Discomfort and change are your teachers. It may hurt a little, but it won’t hurt for long. Don’t be afraid to grow yourself into the person you know you are.
The world is lot bigger than you think. The internet has shown that, but what about seeing it personally, for yourself?
Education doesn’t just happen in school, it happens all around us. Some people get their best education interacting with the real world. There’s many things you can learn with real world experience.
On the other hand, some people are still stuck on formal education. Not so long ago, that may have been the only way to “guarantee” your success, but times have changed and it’s important that we realize this and change along with it.
Formal Education
In some places around the world, formal education is the law. There still may be some countries that lack a public school or a place for kids to learn initially, but it’s the desire for every parent to provide some sort of formal education for their child.
It starts with elementary or grade school. You’re taught the basics of how to read, write and how to do math. This is the foundation of all learning. From here, it gets a bit more intricate.
Somewhere down the line, we begin taking standardized tests, among other types of measurements of intelligence, to see how “smart” (or standard) we are. Are we moving at the average pace? Did we retain enough knowledge to move forward to the next grade? In essence, are we really learning anything, or taking in just enough to get to the next level?
Experiencing Education
In most instances, we’re taught the theory of operating in the real world, without having to go through real world experience. Can you learn how to run a business just by reading a book about it? Maybe you can, but it’s much better to get hands-on experience, as opposed to speculating and reading information about it.
You may be book smart, but that’s not where your education should end. Working in different places offers a different look at how the outside world operates. Every transaction with every person won’t give you the same outcome. This type of learning allows you to adapt and adjust to different situations and circumstances.
It’s good to read about how to drive a car, but until you get behind the wheel, it’s totally unlike what you would expect. Would you rather someone read the book and teach you, or have someone who has actually driven before teach you?
The outside world should be an extension of your inside education. Being taught by experience offers a new perspective of how things really happen. It gives you a better appreciation of how things are done. This is where real growth happens.
We’re All Cut Different
All people are different and we have different strengths and weaknesses. There’s nothing “standard” about anyone of us. We may have similarities in how we do things, but we’re still individuals with the ability to think out own thoughts and to act beyond what we’ve been taught.
And that’s where the real world comes in. The real world allows you to think outside the box and create your own path. In school, we’re taught to memorize several theories and equations for various things, but that always doesn’t compute to success in the real world. Some may argue that those theories and equations teach you how to think, but it’s not the only way – there are more strategies that demonstrate how to stretch your thinking.
With that in mind, the real world teaches you how to think in all types of situations. Depending on what you want to be in life, a formal education can be important, but just know that one type of education fits every type of person.
Get Out
Don’t close yourself off after you’re done with school. There’s so much more to learn – so many more experiences to be had.
Whether you prefer a formal education or a real world education, you’re still in control of your mindset and how to set your path.
Whatever you choose, always keep an open mind. Be aware by allowing learning to take place wherever you are. It doesn’t always have to be in a classroom for it to be real – it occurs any and everywhere.
When you know that you have great potential, it can work in your favor. The world is so full of distractions and negativity, it can be easy to forget the power we have in our own lives.
We’ve been so used to listening and following instructions as children, but as adults, we simply forget that we can follow our own paths. You don’t have to allow others opinions to set the trajectory of your life.
Your Potential Has Always Been There
Your potential is what you’re capable of doing. The possibility is there, but some of us don’t know how to realize it and make it real.
You’ve heard people say, “You have potential…”, or “You’re not living up to your potential.” Yes, you can do better – there’s always room for improvement. The idea is that you KNOW it, even if no one tells you.
Sometimes, you wait on someone to give you a good feeling before you start that project. You’re waiting on that vote of confidence from them, but why?
It gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling, knowing that someone else believes in you. Allowing someone to make you feel this way can be detrimental, because you’ll get used to waiting on someone else before you start. You should already know you can do it and move forth, anyway.
Compliments and encouragement are nice to hear, but even when no one is around to say those positive things to you, you need to know and believe that you already have that ability. Create the habit of starting those ideas on your own.
That hobby you’re interested in? Stop thinking about it and start doing it. Considering a new project? Don’t sit and watch how well someone else does it, do the research and find a way to take the first step. Whatever it is, it’s all in your control – use your potential to your advantage, because it is your advantage.
Don’t Miss Out On Life
We hear people talk about FOMO (the fear of missing out), but mostly, it’s talked about in a negative way. Fearing that you may miss out on things that make no real difference in your life can be a disappointment, but what would happen if you used in towards yourself?
FOMO can work well with your potential. When you feel self-doubt about starting something new, think about what would happen if you never start. Think about missing out on creating opportunities for yourself, as opposed to waiting for them to happen to you.
This type of FOMO thinking shifts your perspective when you use it in the right way – it leaves no regrets in your mind, because you’ll act upon whatever you’re thinking about. Whether it turns out good or bad, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you did your best and you tried.
Free yourself mentally from hanging on to other people’s words and thoughts about you. Your potential is already there, you just need to put it to work. Be forward thinking and put in the effort. No one has to tell you that you can do it – have the courage to step into it.
Activate Your Potential
Everyday, you should set out to win at something. Having a target to shoot for is what activates your potential.
If you’re going to have FOMO, have FOMO about missing out on your own life. Waiting, wishing and wondering won’t help you achieve your goal. The longer you procrastinate, the closer you’re getting to that later stage of regret.
Time is your most precious asset – once it’s gone, it’s gone forever. We waste so much time with distractions and pleasing other people. Be wise and start living YOUR life. Everyday is a chance to get it right.
Get out of your head and get into your life! Those goals won’t achieve themselves. Use your potential and discover just how far you can take it. You’ll be surprised how far you can go when you put forth your full potential!
It seems that success is supposed to come by the time you’re 30. We should have settled into the big house, with the perfect spouse and the fantastic career.
While this may be someone’s reality, it doesn’t happen that way for most of us. Somewhere down the line, someone convinced you that “having it all” was supposed to come before you turn a certain age.
For others, it’s the direct opposite. While “having it all” is very possible, there is no particular time you should be concerned with when it comes to reaching your goals.
Compare Yourself, To Yourself
Why is your friend successful, but you’re still struggling? Who keeps watering the grass on the other side, so it’s greener? What is it that you’re doing so wrong?
There’s one answer to those questions and others like it – it’s none of your business. When you constantly compare your life to others, it’s always wrong.
When you begin comparing your life’s journey with someone else’s, that’s where you lose. Everyone else will always look better and have more than you. “Perfection” is never within your reach.
Some of us are born with advantages, some of us aren’t. Some of us have both parents living at home, some of us only have one. Some of us are millionaires by the age of 25, some of us by 55.
The point is, life is different for everyone. Each and every person’s journey is unique – there are no 2 lives on the planet Earth that happens exactly alike. Build right where you are, using what you already have.
Their life is so perfect – “why am I so far behind?” If you’re putting in the work, doing the best you can do, your achievement isn’t far away. Don’t measure how successful you are, using someone else’s ruler. Your own efforts will put you right where you need to be.
Focus on what’s in front of you, not what’s happening with someone else. Success doesn’t come to you, when you’re looking at other people. Again, do what you can, with what you have.
Where Is Your Focus?
Always look at what’s ahead in your life. Taking your eyes off of the prize (your goal) will surely slow you down. What someone else is doing doesn’t make your journey any less worth traveling.
Plan and prepare for what you want to do. Control what you can. You can only do this by betting on yourself and minding your own business.
When you look at what others are doing, you’re giving them the attention you should be giving yourself. You give them credit for what they’ve done, when you should actually be giving yourself credit for what you’ve accomplished.
We don’t see what other people do to become successful. They don’t tell you how hard it was, the friends they lost along the way or the sacrifice they made in order to reach their goal. All you see is what happened in the end.
Maybe they did something unthinkable to achieve what looks like a dream life – the whole point is, you don’t know. Instead of going through all of the guessing and assuming, focus on what you’re doing and how you’re going to be outstanding in your own life.
Success Will Come In Time
Concentrate on what you can do to make yourself a success. The world will open up to you when you begin to live your life. Don’t let your ego get in the way by thinking you have to keep up with someone else’s life, just to prove you’re worthy. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
It’s good to have people who inspire and motivate you, but don’t expect their success to be your success. You can follow the exact same blueprint of Serena Williams, but that won’t make you a champion within the same amount of time.
The only thing you can do is take responsibility for how hard you work. You have the power over how disciplined or resilient you can be. No one can put in the work for you – you must do that yourself.
Be inspired and motivated, but know that your success will come in your time, not theirs.
Having emotional discipline is important. Anyone can say anything to push your buttons, but you must recognize when they are doing so, in order to respond accordingly.
This is what catches most people off guard. They get so wrapped up in what others are saying, that they quickly react without thinking. Before they know it, the situation grows out of control.
When you have discipline over your emotions, it allows you to think from a calm place. You can respond instead of reacting, while your mental energy remains intact.
Some Things Don’t Deserve A Response
Realize that no response, is a response. There are some things that don’t deserve your emotional energy.
If you react to everything that happens to you, your energy will be wasted. You will tire yourself out mentally before the day is over with.
Pick your battles. Learn to stay calm and respond from a place of peace. Everything doesn’t deserve your power or acknowledgement. As soon as you give in and react, it’s out of your hands – they win.
Responding vs. Reacting
Some may think that responding and reacting are the same thing, but they carry different meanings.
Reacting is when you answer back to something instantly – it’s your first reaction to what someone has said or done to you.
The first reaction is not always the best reaction. When someone criticizes you, you instantly want to criticize them back. Now, you are in their control because you’ve given your power to them by reacting.
When you respond, you take a second to think. If someone criticizes you, you either ignore them or quietly reply with a smile. It shows that you are not bothered and no matter what they say or do, you won’t stoop down to their level.
When you are in charge of your emotions, you maintain your sense of control. As soon as someone can get you to react, they are in command of the situation.
You Don’t Have To Win Every Argument
Believe it or not, there are some people who like to argue, just for the sake of arguing. It’s like a sport – whatever you say, they will say the opposite, just to spark a reaction.
When we get into heated debates and arguments, our immediate objective is to win. We have to prove ourselves and show that we are right and they are wrong.
When you come across people who like to play ‘devil’s advocate’ for sport, let them win, or don’t participate at all. They will not let go and it will drain the energy right out of you. When they’re done, they walk away with a smile, while you are left feeling defeated, for no good reason.
Discipline Yourself
You may not have the ability to control others, but you can surely control yourself.
Remember, you don’t want to give up your control to anyone else through letting go of your emotions. Letting others successfully push your buttons is a way to break your emotional discipline.
Remain calm and hold your position. Know that some people will say things just to make you angry, but you don’t have to accept their foolishness. Learn to let it go and keep your mental energy in a positive place.
#BeGoalden
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