accountability Archives - The Goalden Lady

Your Choice: Take The Shot Or Pass The Ball?

There comes a time in life where we’re presented with a choice: should I trust myself and follow my dreams or should I do what others think I should do?

This dilemma comes to everyone at different times. Some may experience it sooner than others, but nevertheless, you must make a decision on how to proceed with the rest of your life.

Who’s Living Your Life?

Are you where you want to be in life? If not, where did things go left?

It’s a hard truth, but somewhere down the line, instead of taking the shot, you passed the ball. The pressure was too much and you decided to let someone else make the decision for you. If they make the shot, are you happy? Or, could you have done the same thing and received all of the the applause and recognition yourself?

If their shot doesn’t go in the basket, you feel relieved. “Glad I didn’t do it,” you think to yourself. The person who was brave enough to shoot the ball may have missed, but they took control of a situation you were afraid to face and most of all, they learned from it. Even though you don’t think about it at the moment, missing the shot has it’s benefits.

This happens repeatedly in our lives, where we must take the shot – it’s all or nothing. Most people will pass up the chance to see what they’re made of. The opportunity was given away, simply because you didn’t want to be embarrassed. After a while, this becomes a pattern in your life.

This pattern will turn into unconsciously allowing others to make decisions for you. You begin to ask them questions about how you should do this, or if you should do it at all. Thinking that you aren’t good enough to make the right choices, you look to others who you’ve passed the ball to.

Now, they make decisions for you and you’ve given up your personal power.

Personal Responsibility

Taking responsibility for your own actions is hard to do. Yet, the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the more life will move with you and not against you.

It’s easy to follow what the crowd is doing. If something happens, no one is at fault or the entire crowd is at fault – it feels better to divide the blame. That type of comfort can keep you complacent and unproductive.

When you’re by yourself and creating your own way, everything that happens will fall on you. This discourages some people to make their own progress, because it hurts their ego and they don’t want the extra work of overcoming a challenge.

Most times, the issue can be solved, but it’s the lack of thinking that makes it seem worse. It’s easy to be lazy and let things play out as they will. Why should you be the one to take action and move the situation forward? If no one else is willing to do it, why should you?

Taking personal responsibility is what lifts you to the next level. No one has to see you do anything for it to be valid – validate yourself. You know what you’re capable of – if you don’t, take the shot, see what happens and follow through.

Maybe it’ll turn out the way you imagined or maybe it won’t. Either it will move you forward, or it will teach you a lesson. When you take control, you get to make the decisions that everyone else is scared to make. Don’t blame the outcome on someone else, when you allowed them to take the lead. You can be the leader, but you have to take the responsibility (the good and the bad) that comes with leadership.

Lead Yourself

Never let someone else define your life by making choices for you. You have the vision of what you want your life to be, not them.

It’s important to take the shot – how will you know your capabilities, if you never make an attempt? Passing the ball may be necessary at times, but for the most part, have the courage to shoot. If you miss, at least you know what to practice in order to become better the next time the opportunity presents itself.

Get out of your own way and put yourself out there. You don’t want to regret not taking a chance, when you had the chance. It’s never too late to lead yourself. You don’t have time to waste, but you do have time to use. Use it wisely – take the shot, move forward and improve.

Are Excuses Dominating Your Life?

You want to be successful, but for some reason, the work doesn’t come out of you.

You want to be healthier, but for some reason, you can’t find time to exercise and eat better.

You want to focus on becoming a better version of yourself, but for some reason, those actions just don’t align with what you’re doing right now.

Overall, you know what you need to do, but what is it that keeps stopping you and holding you back?

It’s the excuses we give ourselves and the people we try to impress.

So why do we depend on other people’s opinions? Why do we place so much value on how others feel about what we want to do?

We all want to be accepted. The fastest way to gain acceptance is by doing things that others want us to do. Once you’re in this cycle, it’s hard to get out, because you then have to face the rejection and embarrassment that may come along with it.

How do you tackle this?

Self Accountability

It all comes down to holding yourself accountable. Making a to-do list and having reminders and notifications are great tools that can help accommodate your goals, but if you don’t follow through, what good is it?

Being accountable for your actions is the foundation for anything you want to do. If you really want to achieve what you set out to do, the only person that can stop you is yourself.

It doesn’t matter if things don’t go right or someone put a wrench in your plans. You are in control. Things can happen in your favor, but they can also happen against you – accept it. Those challenges and obstacles build you into becoming the person you want to be – overcoming fear, pain and unfavorable circumstances makes you a better version of yourself, not excuses.

Instead of actively going through the things that pause your progress, you make excuses and become complacent. It’s easier to blame the rain, than it is to work out inside. Your co-worker didn’t replace the paper in the copy machine, so that’s why you’re late with the report. You were tired from a hard day, that’s why you chose to eat fast food.

Excuses can not coexist with accountability. It’s one or the other. When you make the choice to elevate yourself, don’t allow those “reasons” (a nice word for excuses) to derail your commitment. Yes, it’s comfortable, but being comfortable doesn’t make a way for success.

Make Up Your Own Mind

What’s in your mind? How do you think? What shapes your thoughts?

Throughout life, we become conditioned to think a certain way. This happens through our environment, parents and friends.

When you were a child, anything was possible and you set out to make it possible. There were no fears or doubts in your mind that you could build a rocket in your backyard and fly to space, all in one day.

Somewhere along the line, someone told you that it was impossible. They supplied you with convenient excuses and logical ‘reasons’ as to why you couldn’t build that rocket. They placed their limitations on you and eventually, you accepted those limitations as your own.

Today, people tend to discourage independent thought. If someone says they’re going to become president, others will give them a thousand reasons why they won’t become president. Want to become a fashion designer at age 50? Announce it and people will call you crazy.

Everyone has their own opinion and thoughts, but that doesn’t mean you have to jump on their bandwagon. NEWSFLASH: You can think for yourself! Your ideas don’t have to be approved or validated by anyone else. You don’t need outside confirmation to know you’re doing the right thing or what’s in your heart.

When a child has a vision, they stick to it. Be that child, again. Stand by your ideas and work out your strategies until one succeeds. Don’t let the negative comments and non-believers live inside your head.

Excuses Will Always Exist

When you take control of your mind, you take control of your life. You are not here to build your dreams based upon how other people think you should. Get out of your own way and become aware of your own power.

There may be some things you have to unlearn and that is totally okay. Your life demands more of you. Make the decision to be ambitious and see where your potential will lead.

Reclaim your brain and get rid of the excuses. Your life is waiting.

The Standards You Set For Yourself

Standards give us something to live up to. It’s a way to improve ourselves without the constant influence and competition of others.

People who lack standards usually remain stagnant. There’s nothing to convince them that they can become better than what they already are, because they’re comfortable.

What happens when you become stuck in a rut and you’re unable to hold yourself accountable for your own actions?

Why Have Standards?

Standards allow you to elevate in life. When there’s a certain desire you want to live up to, it motivates you to improve and become better.

Having standards and rules for yourself promotes growth in life. You know how you want to live, how much money you want to make, the type of family you want to have, etc. – these things are thoughts and ideas that you hold in your mind while you strive and make them come true.

You also set yourself apart from others who have no ambition or goals, and you become the type of person you aspire to be. It’s not easy to live up to your own personal standards – it takes resilience, discipline and focus (among other characteristics), but if you make a plan to get there, it’s definitely possible.

Your Potential

Becoming a more productive version of yourself everyday is a great foundational standard to live up to. As mentioned before, it inspires your ability to grow.

When you hang around people who don’t seem to care about what they do and who don’t have any goals, it’s easy to adopt the same attitude. As they say, birds of a feather, flock together.

This can damage your potential, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. By changing your environment and who you hang around, you can adjust your standards and goals to new and more productive levels.

Always put yourself in a place of advantage. Once you master a task or situation, move on to something else. See how much you can learn and how far you can go. Push your limits and discover your capacity. Never allow anyone to bring you down to their level.

Holding Yourself Accountable

Part of living up to your personal standards is holding yourself accountable. You are your own responsibility – the only person that can save you, is you.

How many times have things gone wrong in life, whether you planned for it or not? Did you sit there and accept the outcome or did you take the time to reassess and create another solution?

This is where most people become stuck – things don’t always go as planned, but it’s your job to get up, figure it out and make one more attempt. You must hold yourself accountable in order to move forward.

Most people like to have “accountability partners” or someone to help them along their journey. That’s fine, but ultimately, the responsibility is yours. Your accountability partner may tell you it’s okay to eat a slice of cake or to buy one more lottery ticket. Sometimes, they can be your worst enemy, as opposed to helping you become better.

What Standards Do You Have?

If you have plans on becoming a better person, then you have standards. Anything you want to do to improve your place in life is a standard you have created for yourself.

Understand that you are your only competition – you should strive to be better than the person you were yesterday. It may be a challenging task, but that’s how self-improvement works.

Create your standards and work on them daily. Develop your daily habits to match the person you want to become. It may seem like a difficult task, but all you have to do is take one step at a time and you’ll become the successful person you’ve always imagined.

3 Proactive Strategies To Build A Successful Life

People say it all the time: “Just do it! Start where you are! Think positive!” Those things sound good in theory, but where do you actually begin?

Developing strong habits is a great start. If you want to build yourself into a more productive person, you’re going to have to make some changes with your daily practices.

Introduce the following 3 habits into your life. This isn’t about instant gratification. Instead, it’s about preparing for upcoming opportunities and growth, which will be beneficial to you in the long run.

Strategy #1: Take Ownership of Your Actions

As kids, we would point the finger at someone else if we didn’t want to get in trouble. Even if we knew it was our fault, we would do anything to avoid punishment. For some of us, we carried this habit over into adulthood.

If you do something wrong, own up to it. This is the sign of a leader. The point isn’t to find someone to blame, it’s to take responsibility so the team can move forward.

People are so worried about the consequences of their actions, that they don’t want to own their mistakes. This type of mindset holds up your process to achieving any goal.

No one wants to look bad, but in hindsight, see where you went wrong and improve upon what happened. If you should come across the situation again, you know how to handle it better. Own your actions and allow it to be a life lesson.

Strategy #2: Hold Yourself Accountable

In order to become the greatest version of yourself, you must hold yourself accountable. Your personal standards should exceed the standards of what others expect of you.

It’s good to have accountability partners, but they’re not always necessary. Some people work better alone because they can move at their own pace. In some instances, an accountability partner can hold you back.

Instead of giving someone else the responsibility of holding you accountable, hold yourself accountable. Letting yourself down should be more painful than letting someone else down. You can disappoint others and not care, but if you disappoint yourself (especially if it’s something you really want to accomplish), it should spark you into action.

Don’t depend on others – start holding yourself accountable. Without realizing it, your friends can be your biggest downfall. They may let you get away with skipping a workout or look the other way when you slip up. Trust yourself and don’t give in.

Strategy #3: Be Solution-Focused

When everyone else is complaining, find a solution. While everyone else is making up excuses, find a way to make it work. Make it a habit of making things happen.

It’s easy to find comfort in negativity. Most people live in those spaces, but there’s no growth there. If you want to find yourself in a better position, you’re going to have to do the opposite and that means finding solutions.

Be the person that looks for an answer. Even if your suggestion doesn’t work out, at least you didn’t sit there and complain while doing nothing. All you did was learn one way that didn’t work.

Whenever the chance is given, always look for a solution. Contributing to the problem doesn’t move you any closer to solving the issue. Your job is to focus on getting to the next level. Be solution-focused.

BONUS – Strategy #4: Be Consistent With Taking Action

This is the most important strategy. No matter what happens, be consistent with taking action.

You will encounter obstacles and challenges throughout your life – no one is immune to this. The only way you can guarantee your achievement is to take consistent action.

The more action you take, the more direction you give yourself. If you go in the wrong direction, turn around and go in another. This leads to the path towards your achievement. Keep taking action until you reach your goal.

Most people will see it as a sign to stop, but it’s just a hint that you should try again, but in a different way. You can change the course, but never change the goal.

These strategies will help you create a steady foundation for the rest of your life. Begin using them now and start reaping the benefits of your future sooner, rather than later.

#BeGoalden