Let’s talk about reactions and responses. When there’s a situation, are you the person who reacts or responds? Being a responder is better than being a reactor. Let’s look at the example:
On your way home from work, there is a car accident that happens right before your eyes. The cars collided head on and no one, in either vehicle, is moving. You race from your car to the scene and try to assess the situation. You have called for help. This accident looks pretty bad, but you are talking to the victims, keeping them calm. You let them know that help is on the way and ask if there is anything you can do to help. The dispatcher tells you to keep the victims still, as much as possible. You are communicating back and forth with the victims and letting them know that everything is under control. There is light conversation between you all, until the ambulance arrives. They take over and the police is asking what happened and you calmly tell them what you saw.
Or, the story could go like this:
On your way home from work, there is a car accident, right before your eyes. The cars collided head on and no one, in either vehicle, is moving. You race from your car to get a closer look. “Oh, no! Look at all the blood,” you scream as you run between the two cars. “This is so bad — this is really bad. OMG! I hope you don’t die!” you exclaim. Meanwhile, the victims in the cars are crying and upset, as you run around, having a holy fit. “Somebody call for help!” one of the victims scream. “Where’s my phone?! I think I lost my phone!” you continue as you scramble around the scene. Fortunately, someone passing by has called for help. When the ambulance arrives, the victims are so emotional and confused that it’s hard to see what has happened. The police asks you questions, but he has to calm you down first. After fifteen minutes of chaos, you are calm enough to tell what happened, but now, it has all become a blur…
Between both of these stories, which one reacted and which one responded?
In the first story, you responded. You were efficient and you kept the victims calm. Your focus was completely on them and how to help the situation. It turned out well for everyone, therefore, making for better results.
In the second story, you reacted. You were frazzled and the victims were even more frazzled, after you freaked out. Nothing was done to comfort the victims and you focused more on yourself. Even though the victims were hurt, you let your emotions explode out of control, which only made them feel worse. This is what happens when your emotions take over.
As you can see, when you respond, you manage to handle the situation. Your emotions took a back seat to what was going on and you maintained a sense of normalcy, for the victims’ sake.
When you reacted, it only enhanced an already bad situation. Your emotions ballooned and your focus went out of the window, if there was any to begin with. The accident was bad, but you didn’t make it any better by announcing how bad it was and how awful it looked.
Being focused is always a strength. When you respond in any situation, it makes it easier to deal with. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, it helps to remain calm and think things through.
Try not to overreact. It can be surprising when things happen out of the blue, but as in any situation, you must remain calm. This helps promote a productive outcome.
Next, with your emotions aside, figure out how to help. Keep your feelings to yourself, because it won’t make things better.
In most situations, the calmest person becomes the leader among everyone, simply because they are constructive and appear to be in control.
Excerpt from: The Goalden Lady Presents: Help! I’m Stuck: 10 Strategies To Push You Through To Achieving Success A Personal Development Series, Book 1 by S.R. Roberts